Preparing for Intimacy

Key Points from Wendy Watson Nelson

The Lord's Counsel (D&C 88)

• Cease from:
  • Light speeches
  • Lustful desires
  • Pride
  • Wicked doings
• Love one another; cease to be covetous
• Learn to impart to one another
• Cease to be idle or unclean
• Avoid finding fault with one another
• Maintain a healthy sleep schedule
• Clothe yourselves with charity

Application in Marital Context

• Criticism/Emotional Abuse: Cease finding fault/pride
• Hygiene Issues: Cease being unclean
• Pornography: Cease lustful desires/wicked acts
• Adultery: Cease covetousness/lustful desires
• Trivializing Intimacy: Avoid light speeches
• Selfishness: Impart to one another
• Pride: Avoid pride
• Financial Issues: Cease idleness/covetousness/pride
• Communication Problems: Find fault, pride, impart, light speeches
• Laziness in Family Care: Avoid idleness; keep a healthy sleep schedule

Spiritual Guidance

• Follow the Holy Spirit, not worldly prescriptions
• Focus on godliness (1 Timothy 4:7)

Preparing for Marital Intimacy

• Open communication, trust, and emotional closeness enhance intimacy
• Unity in all aspects of life promotes a deeper intimacy
• Activities that draw hearts together and invite the Spirit enhance intimacy

Activities to Increase Intimacy

1. Inquire about your spouse's true feelings
2. Support your spouse's burdens
3. Strengthen your spouse's spirit
4. Engage in shared activities
5. Communicate during intimate moments
6. Participate in each other's and children's lives
7. Maintain boundaries around marital intimacy
8. Create a private sanctuary
9. Acknowledge personal contributions to marital problems
10. Pray together
11. Identify adversarial influences
12. Banish adversarial influences
13. Seek marital strengthening ideas in scriptures
14. Use inclusive language
15. Designate private time weekly
16. Attend the temple together
17. Fast together for marriage
18. Make eye contact
19. Share laughter
20. Highlight spouse's strengths
21. Turn to spouse during challenges
22. Express gratitude
23. Thank the Lord for your spouse
24. Show love in word and deed
25. Express love for the Lord
26. Remember your divine nature
27. Recall sacred covenants
28. Embrace full marital unity
29. Co-create love symbolically
30. View marital intimacy as a sacrament

Personalization

• The list is not exhaustive or prescriptive; each couple should find what works for them

Overcoming Marital Challenges

Bury Weapons of War

• Identify and bury behaviors harming intimacy
• Mutual commitment to discard these habits
• Ceremonial act to reinforce commitment

Bring Broken Hearts and Contrite Spirits

• Lay aside pride, express regrets, and resolve to be more loving
• Implement a 48-hour rule to address grievances promptly

Focus on Love-Generating Images

• Embrace positive, spiritual images of partner to deepen love

Remember Covenants

• Consider temple marriage symbols as guidance for intimacy
• Keep worldly distractions away from marriage

Pray for Gifts of the Spirit

• Seek spiritual gifts to enhance marital intimacy

Listen to Inspiring Music

• Use music to uplift and bond with spouse

Speak Words of Love

• Use language that fosters warmth and connection

Conclusion

• Discover personalized activities to enhance marital intimacy with the Spirit's guidance
• Embrace the adventure of creating a nurturing marital environment.