okay here we go ABG's pay attention you probably know how to do ABG's already but pay attention because you want to put this on the tape and sell it to nursing students you have my full permission take it verbatim I raised enough food for everybody in the world let me just review the normal parameters just to make sure your values is similar to mine god forbid here we go the normal pH the normal pH is between seven point three five and seven point four five if you wake up one day and have a pH greater than seven point four five year in the state of alkalosis whereas if you wake up one day and have a pH less than seven point three five you are in a state of acidosis co2 is an acid it's controlled by the respiratory system the normal co2 are the same numbers that are in the pH is 35 to 45 business so it's easy to remember so the normal co2 is 35 to 45 if you wake up one day and have a co2 greater than 45 you're in a respiratory acidosis whereas if your co2 you blew off your acid and the number is less than 35 year in a respiratory alkalosis bicarb as a base is controlled by the metabolic system the normal bicarb is the ages you wish you were just in case you're not those ages now 23 to 27 if you wake up one day and have a bike up greater than 27 you have too much base therefore you're in a metabolic alkalosis whereas if you lose your base and your bicarb is less than 23 you're in a metabolic acidosis so if I have a co2 a 64 I'm in a respiratory acidosis I got a bicarb of 9 I'm in a metabolic acidosis I got a co2 or 28 I'm in a respiratory alkalosis I got a bicarb at 37 I'm in a metabolic alkalosis alright good here's how you interpret ABG's you drop dead and you come back to life and you find yourself living in the land of ABG as you walk around the land of a gee everyone's got a first name a middle name and a last name but you don't have a big choice as it says in your booklet the only choice you have a first name is uncompensated or compensated not such a big choice middle name you're on the big choice either while the only middle name you can have is respiratory or metabolic and last name total horror not a big choice whatsoever only a choice of two either acidosis or alkalosis so you see in the land of ABG you don't have a big choice for names so anyway you're drop-dead come back to life you're living in Atlanta baby G next thing you know you're pregnant you're going to give birth to a little baby a B G lo and behold out comes this kid in swaddling clothes as you hold a little baby in your arms you say what am I going to name my baby well it's really easy in the land of ABG there's only two steps steps number one look at your baby's pH because whenever you give birth the baby comes out with a pH right on its forehead so step number one look at the kids pH by looking at your baby's pH you get your baby's first and last name so let's have a baby that should be so easy right seven point one - what's my baby's first name uncompensated what's my baby's last name acidosis let's have another kid seven point five five what's my baby's first name uncompensated what's my baby's last name alkalosis let's have another kid that 1.01 what's my baby's first name don't say dead uncompensated what's the baby's last name acidosis let's have another kid 7.23 what's my baby's first name uncompensated what's the kids last name acidosis so step number one you look at your baby's pH get the kids first and last name now you were saying uncompensated because the pH was not normal but if you have a pH that is between seven point three five and seven point four five then the kids first name is going to be compensated matter of fact any pH between seven point three five and seven point four oh well have the first name of compensated the last name of acidosis any pH between 7.40 and seven point four five well the first name of compensated the last name of alkalosis so step number one look at your baby's pH and get the baby's first and last name so let's have another kid seven point three six what's my baby's first name compensated what's my baby's last name acidosis let's have another kid seven point four or five what's my baby's first name compensated what's my baby's last name alkalosis so step number one look at the kids pH get the kids first and last name pay attention put this on tape come on let's get an entrepreneur out of this course can we please you know it's interesting people always call me up on ideas and this one nurse called me up from California and she had this idea for tooth brushing um she said it's a great idea I really have to fly out meet with you and everything you know you'll talk me through it I'm like oh yeah I see you don't the floor you have to come out here just tell me what it is no no I have to I have done like okay so she flies out and then you know I don't know you have to stay over my house or just study it over a weekend anyway she shows me this invention she made this little toothbrush without a handle it's just like just like a plastic toothbrush but without a handle so it's just a bristle and has to paste in it and she said this is her idea and you're putting your Mountain your to it and that's how brushes your teeth and so I'm like you know me so I try use it it doesn't work cuz I have no teeth it looks like I have teeth but I really don't like I I don't have any teeth over here like I'm missing launch quantities of teeth so when I put that in my mouth got stuck guard over here I'm like this ain't working so you know you want to be my partner please please I'm like that I don't they I'll talk you through it how to get FDA approval but I don't think so bad mistake you know what you may not last you a video before you know what you're boarding 34 million dollars the prison system bought it from her because they don't want prisoners to sharpen the points on toothbrushes and then Lufthansa airline British Airways ofö Commission way sometimes quite a few where virgin airways they bought it because they when you go you know on long trips they give it a people and so that was so I made them a business mistake that day you imagine 34 million it's like oh wow alright but anyway here we go 7.1 - what's my baby's first thing I'm compensated what's my baby's last name acid doses so here you got a pH 7.1 - 28 and 11 7.1 - my baby's first name is uncompensated my baby's last name is acidosis so now if you give birth and your baby's last name is acidosis you say that a kid who's your father who's your father Wow who gave my baby the last name of acidosis well in the land of ABG you got two husbands right I don't sound being very politically correct I hope you notice anyway so in Atlanta baby gee you got too hot well I guess I'm not too politically correct with two husbands but anyway uh you got two husbands you got mr. respiratory and mr. metabolic now given these two men in your life right mr. respiratory and mr. metabolic which one of these men is the baby's father well it's a man who has the same last name as your baby now you know that a co2 or 28 is alkalosis whereas a bicarb of 11 is acidosis so now given these two men in your life which one of these men is the kid's father it's the man who has the same last name as your baby and who may that be metabolic metabolic metabolic got the same last name as my baby therefore he did it he's the father is the problem it's an uncompensated metabolic acidosis and because I'm in an acid notic state I'm blowing off my fioat ooh seven point five five twenty nine and twenty seven point five five my baby's first name is uncompensated what's the kids last name alkalosis and who gave my baby the last name of alkalosis now a co2 a twenty nine gives me alkalosis a bicarb of 20 gives me acidosis now given these two men in my life which one of these men is my baby's father it's a man of the same last name as my baby and who may that be respiratory respiratory got the same last name as my baby therefore he did it he's the father is uncompensated respiratory alkalosis and because of an alcoholic state i'm getting rid of my bike on 7.01 fifty one and ten 7.01 my baby's first name is I'm compensated what's the kids last name acidosis now who gave my baby the last name of acidosis a co2 of 51 gives me acidosis a bicarb of 10 gives me acidosis now given these two men in my life which one of these men is my baby's father who has the same last name as my baby they both do they both did it it's a mixed disturbance it's an uncompensated respiratory and metabolic acidosis got a patient not breathing and don't have a good blood pressure usually goes together 7.2 350 and 29 7.23 my baby's first name is uncompensated my baby's last name is acidosis and who gave my baby the last name of acidosis a co2 of 50 gives me acidosis a bicarb of 29 gives me alkalosis given those two men in my life which one of these men is my baby's father it's a man has the same last name as my baby and who may that be respiratory he got the same last name as my baby therefore he did it it's a uncompensated respiratory acidosis and because of