there's three things in this self-improvement community that I think are toxic and one of the first things is thinking that you're behind and that you got to speed up you know even me I just graduated college and a lot of people are asking me what what are you going to do what are you going to do what are you going to do what are you going to do and for me I just want the time to actually do that like I'm literally in the process of doing that and I need that space to to to to grind and put the work in and not just figure it out but take that step by step by step by step each and every day you know it's it's my life it's up for me to figure out what direction I want to go into and I do know what direction I want to go into and I need trust with that I need patience and I also got to give myself Grace and in this self-improvement community we think that we're behind because we see other people but you got to be so focused and so locked in to the Grind into what you got to do and to what you're supposed to do that you can't even worry about other people and what they're doing because we know the simple truth and the simple truth is comparison is a thief of Joy but I'll take it a step further comparison is the thief of effort and comparison is the thief of work ethic because you're worried about what other people are doing and the work ethic that they have but you're not worried about your own work ethic you're not worried about what you're doing you're not worried about the grind that you're supposed to do you're not worried about the effort that you're supposed to give so we don't care to compare and we don't care to be rushed you know it's all about day by day step by step you see what I'm saying like don't let people put any pressure on you don't let people let you know oh what are you going to do and you know you know what like yo take life step by step day by day and do it on your time you see what I'm saying because it's your journey and it's what you want to do and at the end of the day we only got this one opportunity so it's up for you to figure that out and it's up for you to live the life that you that you want and at the end of the day nobody has your goals and nobody has your dreams specifically it's only for you and that's what's written on your heart and you got to trust that and put the work in and put the effort in in order to make that happen it might take two years it might take three but if we're rushing the process we start to do things prematurely when it wasn't even time for us to do things you know we got to be in tune with what we need to do at the specific time of our lives and we got to trust the process and we got to trust what we believe we need to do we got to trust God you got to trust all that and like that doesn't involve people rushing you it just can't that equation people rushing you don't fit into that equation you know we're not doing it for other people we're not doing it to look cool we're not doing it for nobody else but our own lives and figuring that out step by step and once we continue to self-improve then we could hey here goes you know because I worked hard I can help out so and so I can help out this I can help out that but we got to fill our own cup up first bro that's like people asking you when you going to reach your destination we still working we're still working towards that destination and I'm so locked in I can't even talk about the mission that I'm on cuz it's top secret you see what I'm saying it's it's top secret just like I work for the CIA or the FBI I'm working for God and I can't tell everybody my plans because some people they they not going to pray for you they not going to be happy for you they not going to want to make sure that you doing good they're going to pray on your downfall they're going to spread it around like rules rors oh he's doing this oh he's doing that don't worry about what I'm doing just understand that I'm putting in the action in the work in order to live a better quality of life for me and my family that's it so your goals and your dreams it's personal make it personal keep it private and walk at your own pace you don't got to outpace everybody else you don't got to outrun everybody else everybody is doing things at their own time at their own pace they're doing what works for them so we got to do what works for us you feel what I'm saying and so the second thing I have here man you got to have it all figured out that's not true that's just that's just simply not true and that goes in nicely with what we spoke about it number one number two is elaborating on that in this self-improvement journey we think that we got to have everything figured out bro we think we got to have all the answers no we don't have to have all the answers it's again it's step by step by step by step by step you don't got to have all the answers you know what's faith faith is not having all the answers but you're still going forward you can't see the whole staircase but you're still walking up that's to me risky but that's what life is getting in your car driving to work is risky chasing your dreams is risky too see what I'm saying bro like at the end of the day you just got to have faith in the process and you got to understand like you you don't have to have everything figured out and the problem is we paralyze oursel because we want Perfection and we think that we got to have it all figured out before we can move before we can continue to grow and and evolve but the truth is we don't have to have it all figured out we just got to start stepping we just got to start walking we just got to start going and once you start going brother that's when you'll realize okay okay it's not as hard as I thought it was things do work itself out see we stress so much about the future but the future is not even here we know it's going to come but we got to really focus on the present moment and how we can maximize that that's what our Focus got to be on and when your focus is now on that what is it on is it on distractions instead of putting in action is it on what other people are doing so just because you don't have it all figured out doesn't mean that you shouldn't start you have to to start and as you continue to walk more will be revealed to you so as you continue to walk on the staircase you might only see one or two steps ahead of you and you can't see the rest but you trust that as you keep going a light will be shine on the other stairs on that staircase and you'll be able to keep walking same thing in life you on this journey you on this path certain signs will be given to you to help you navigate what direction you're supposed to be going in this life and and it just works it just happens and you got to trust that the problem is y'all don't trust that y'all want to see the whole staircase and now you selling yourself short because if you took that risk if you took that chance you know how much farther you would have been you know how much farther you can go so take that chance now take that risk now walk that staircase now and do it at your own pace you don't got to run up the staircase see what I'm saying just cuz you see somebody else running up the staircase you don't have to run up the staircase you can walk you can walk slowly you just need to walk in the right direction you just need to get 1% better every day you just need to do the things that you need to do on a daily basis to get to where you want to go step by step by step by step it don't matter the speed it don't matter if somebody reach their destination or not you got your own destination and your own destination is going to be better than anybody else's destination cuz it was made just for you it was your goals it was your dreams it's what you wanted to do not what I want to do I can't Envy the life that you work for I can't Envy the life that you pray for and did Blood and sweat and tears for cuz that's what you wanted there's nothing to Envy it's only appreciation gratitude and giving you your congratulations the problem is again comparison we like to compare but it's like you didn't even want this you don't want what I got trust me you don't want what I got cuz you don't know what I had to do to get there you want what you want and you got to do what you need to do to get to where you want to go we can only be inspired off of each other but comparison that don't make sense feel what I'm saying and the third thing brother the third and last thing is that you can't have fun that's a lie that's a myth you can have fun you can play video games you can watch TV the problem is we're trying to do that while we're in the middle of the grind we're trying to do that while we're in the middle of the grind season and for me that don't make sense the work comes first and then having some fun comes second you see what I'm saying so you got to put the work in first you have to you have to put the work in first and then second is going to come okay let's have let's have some fun let's play some video games cuz all week this week I've been on my grind all week this week I've been doing what I need to do and if you want to do a month instead of a week you can do that all month I've been doing what I need to do so today I'm going to play some video games there's nothing wrong with that the problem is we trying to party on Wednesday party on Thursday party on Saturday go to the gym on on on a Tuesday go to the gym on a Friday it's like you're in the light you're in the dark you're in the light you're in the dark you're in the light you're in the dark you on your grind you having fun you on your grind you having fun but what it really need to be is you on your grind you accomplishing your goals and dreams you really became further in that you put the work in tangible results that you can see and because you have those results that you can see where you can see that you not only put in the work but you can you can see the results from it now you can go ahead and have a little bit of fun does that make sense see the problem is we trying to have fun in the middle of the work we trying to have fun in the middle of the grind we trying to have fun in the middle of it all in the middle that's like today I said I got 13 things to do today it's a lot of things for me to do today got to work out got to finish this got to complete that got to do this document got to do this got to do and then in the middle all right let me play some video games and what's going to happen is I'm going to lose track of time and I'm not actually going to do everything that I needed to do on my schedule so it's also about time management where are you putting your time to what are the things that you need to do can you accomplish that and if you can and if you do then and only then can you enjoy the fruits of your labor but you have no fruits to your labor cuz you're not putting in the labor I'm going repeat that one more time you can play play you can have a good time you can enjoy life once you once you reap the fruits of your labor that's the fruits of your labor having fun is the fruits of your labor because you put the work in you see the results but you're not putting in no labor so you're not getting nothing back so why are you having fun why are you going to a party right why are you taking out all these girls out on dates for my fellas my brothers my purpose-driven brothers when your mama not taken care of when your mom is struggling to pay the bills when your own self is struggling to pay the bills right right like why we not in the gym when we said we was going to be in the gym but we not in the gym see somebody got to hold y'all accountable and you know before before it can be yourself because we have to learn to hold ourselves accountable it's going to be me so some of the things I say it might hurt but it's it's only to help you evolve it's only to help you lock in you say you want to do something you not doing it your credit score with yourself is now bad because you have no trust being built you say you going to go to the gym but you didn't go to the gym you're not trustworthy and other people can't trust you either because you're not actually doing what you said you was going to do on top of that you telling social media instead of keeping your goals private and you telling people yeah I'm locked in all year yeah 202 before my year okay well now it's uh is July right and we looking around bro and it's not looking like your year but you told us it was your year most importantly you told yourself and you got to keep you got to keep your own promises I make promises to myself all the time and one of the things with me is I make sure that I keep it I make sure that I keep it I make sure that I fulfill it to the best of my abilities are we going to fall short of course we're human but you better be putting in effort to make sure that you don't effort at least there's effort at least there's work ethic so this life is what you make it man you could be that guy that you know he thinks that he has to I'm looking at my notes here he thinks that he has to rush the process back to number one because people are rushing him and he wants to give people answers of of what he's doing with his life so he's rushing the process right he's on social media he's scrolling he sees other people being successful he wants to compare his life to theirs not understanding success is subjective not understanding that he's not behind he's actually right on time but now he thinks he's behind and he's rushing the process and we know when we rush nothing gets done well nothing gets done good you ever rushed out the house right you ever rushed out the house and and you left everything you left your whole life what you going outside for you you done left your keys inside you done left your wallet so you was going out probably going to buy food can't buy no food your phone inside cuz you rushing instead of taking your time out taking the time out and saying you know what man let me make sure I got everything I need to make this transition from indoors to Outdoors right and number two going over it again you think that you could be the type of man that feels like he has to have it all figured out or not you can take it step by step it's up to you see people who think they got to have it all figured out they paralyzed like we spoke about earlier they don't move they on the couch they sitting down they not moving they like a statue like this thinking that all the answers is going to come to them when really you got to take a step and then more more will be revealed to you same way you walking towards a destination you're not going to figure out where to go fully in the destination if you don't if you don't start walking even if you walking in the wrong direction the answer will come to you and you'll know oh we're walking in the wrong direction this happened to me I remember I visited New York City for the first time probably 3 four years ago or like 3 years ago me and my fiance me and my girl we in New York City man we put on a map location and we had our luggage and everything bro we were walking the wrong way for like 30 minutes bro first off Apple Maps is like I love Apple you know what I'm saying but like bro it was it was crazy I just felt like the the the the but no excuses let me be accountable right we looking at the map it look a mess it's our first time there we going in a total wrong direction bro but eventually guess what we realize oh we going the wrong direction at least we were walking some people they want to stay there and figure it out and sometimes they never figure it out should we go here should we go there and what we decided to do is we just going to walk and if it's wrong we'll figure out that it's wrong and once you figure out that it's wrong now you know what's right you fail fast and hopefully when you're walking in a certain location you fail faster than we did faster than 30 minutes but you could be that type of guy to just walk and figure it out or you could be that guy who just I'm have to calculate exactly where to go and you're so paralyzed because you're not actually living in the real world and taking a step we decided to live in the real world and look at real signs and and realize where are we and where are we going in this real world and when you actually walk in the real world more will be revealed to you that's how it works but a lot of y'all are not walking and that's why nothing is revealed to you nothing is revealed to you because you in the same spot you in the same place number three is that you can't ever have fun you can be that guy who thinks that he can never have fun and the problem is you're not going to be able to smell the roses and enjoy life because you never know when it's going to be your time to go see what I'm saying yeah hard work is important being consistent discipline is very important sacrificing today for a better life tomorrow is very important but while you're sacrificing today and you're having certain achievements you have to celebrate those achievements you have to because let's say you pass away God forbid you know at an early age yes you put in the work but did you have fun did you enjoy life did you go to the movie theater did you relax your mind did you enjoy what life has to offer that don't mean you got to enjoy every single day of the week no we're not going to get nowhere if we do that but you got to find a way to have a healthy Harmony healthy Harmony I don't know about balance I don't know cuz when we're working and we're young we do need to work and we probably need to work and grind more than we don't for sure so we could build that future that we want but at least bro at least once a month go out to eat even if it's by yourself get you a nice meal at least once a month you know put your game system on put on Netflix chill out see what I'm saying a healthy Harmony cuz one thing about this life it's short and we don't know when our time is so you want to have a good Harmony all right and that's and that's the three things man I feel like in the self-improvement community we we fall victim to we fall victim to these three things and I don't want us to fall victim to these things no more we got to evolve past that and understand that there's a better way to think there's a better way to do and there's a better way to feel about these things that we just spoke about all right all right so that's the video for today man I appreciate y'all for watching and I'mma see y'all in the next video we are Purpose Driven Man I appreciate y'all for sure for sure and um let's just keep being the best version of ourselves man peace