Transcript for:
Tips for Writing Romantic Arcs

[lofi music] Is this what I want to be doing right now? Yeah, no, I need to film videos. Okay, hello and welcome back to the channel. My name is Lynn D. Jung, I am a science fiction  and fantasy writer, and I'm back to, you know,   filming videos, pre-recording them so that I have  something to upload while I'm out of the country. Today I wanted to actually give a  little bit of advice on something   that I'm not terribly experienced in,  but that I've been thinking about a lot. So, more unsolicited advice as per usual. This is not meant to be taken in any sort of  prescriptive manner. It's very tongue-in-cheek,   and also like, just based off of  things that I don't, you know, like. I don't really know what this is I'm  not—I majored in Zoology, okay. Like,   if you're coming to me for  professional advice: don't. But today I wanted to talk a little bit about  writing romance arcs, because I feel like it's   something that everyone at this point, if  you're writing genre fiction—especially   if you're writing young adult, etc. has to  sort of try, but not everyone can pull off. And I feel like when you don't pull off a romance  arc well, it can really mess up your book. So it's something that is so  crucial for a lot of readers,   especially when it comes to popular literature,  and yet can so easily like, just mess you up. So, I wanted to talk a little  bit about what I have noticed,   and what I think works personally, and what  I have tried to implement in my own writing,   even though honestly, like, I'm  a real big fan of the slowburn. So a lot of the—both books that I've  put out and stuff did not have like   real—actually no the second  one did have a romance arc. Yeah, honestly, I don't have a ton of  experience writing these romance arcs,   so who knows if I'm even good at this basically. But I think I do have an eye for  what things do tend to not work,   at the very least, so I wanted to  talk a little bit about just tips   that I had in mind for people who  want to beef up their romance arcs. Because you know what? At the end of the day,  I am a Libra so, you know, romance is my life. This is going to be a numbered list, because I  don't know how to organize things any other way. So, let's go ahead and get started. Number one is to consider the  characters as individuals first   and figure out their respective  arcs before mashing them together. I think the most crucial element that  I see missing in a lot of, sort of,   romance arcs that I've been reading  or noticing in books lately is that   the characters clearly exist to be  in a relationship with each other. Either one or both of them is just  not complete without the other one. And yeah, "you complete me" is like, a nice line,   but you want these characters to  be able to stand on their own. You want them to feel like fleshed out people,   both of them, so that you can actually as  a reader root for them to get together. Because real people have obstacles when it  comes to dating, love, romance, whatever. Real people have things that get in their way. If someone exists just to be a  partner to this other character,   they're not going to have the same obstacles. Anything is going to feel flimsy, or the  obstacles are going to be very one-sided   on behalf of the character who may  or may not be a fleshed out person. There's just so many reasons why you  want both characters to feel developed,   besides just wanting them to feel like  real people that you can root for. In a similar vein, I think it's also  important to give them histories. Like, first loves are nice and, you know,  it's maybe more realistic in young adult,   but if you have like full-on adults in these  relationships then they probably have, like,   exes and heartbreaks and things that  didn't work out. Missed connections. And you want to acknowledge that,   because that very much does influence  peoples' relationships in real life. Again, it's another way to sort of give them  some dimension, give them reasons that yeah,   maybe, like, they shouldn't realistically  work out, but they will, you know? And that's the thing that  they overcome to get together. I think basically what it comes down  to is I notice a lot of these love   interests in genre fiction—all sorts  of fiction, it's like across the board,   it can happen to anyone—where this love  interest is a blank slate, tabula rasa,   just hasn't doesn't have anything going on  in their life outside of this partnership,   doesn't have anything interesting  about them, doesn't have any history. Like, they feel just so paper  thin, and it's really hard to care,   even if they are written as super physically hot. Number two is to ask yourself the  obvious question that I think a lot   of people might not really consider  sometimes, especially if, you know,   in the case of many of these it seems like they  were maybe pushed into throwing in a romance? I know that a lot of the time, like, people  don't actually want to write this romance, they   don't care about it as much as the rest of the  story and I think that's totally understandable. Like, I was that way, which is why I straight   up just didn't write romance  arcs for a really long time. The thing is, though, you  want to do the bare minimum. And so, the bare minimum is asking why  these two people actually like each other,   or why they're drawn to each other. It could be a love at first sight  situation, it can be, you know,   falling in love gradually—but  what what makes them fall in love? There's always something. It's not just, like, physical,  it's not just because of their—I   don't know what people are into honestly. But you know how a lot of heterosexual  media—that's what I'll call it—just sticks   to people together because they're pretty  and stand next to each other sometimes? There's got to be something tying people together,   drawing them into each other, even  if they can't fully articulate it. Even if it's something that  they have to discover with time,   even if they hate each other at first,  like, what draws that emotion out from them? I think that is another thing,  actually, just to go on a tangent. With a lot of these, like, trendy  enemies-to-lovers romances,   there's no reason for them to  not like each other, really. I just want to see more meat to it. I want to see  internal reasoning, I want to see irrationality,   I want to see all these, like, emotional  things that make people nuts about each other. Number three is: what is the  conflict that's keeping them apart? A lot of romance arcs, you know, it's totally  fine to have something normal, like if it's not   the main plot then they're just gonna date and  fall in love and get together at some point. But there should always be some sort of conflict. I feel like if there's a plot device, I  mean, I don't know personally—I've never   had any sort of dating situation  where there wasn't a conflict. I think that says more about  me than it does about writing. You want the relationship to grow  under some sort of adversity,   because that is just going to get  the reader so much more invested. That's going to allow for those,  like, sweet moments of Yearning. If you're doing a whole, you know, subplot  romance arc, whatever and it can be something   about their individual personalities or their  life paths or whatever. Or the story itself.   The plot, the actual main conflict, or the  world—like, something is keeping them apart. Personally, and this, you know, is  personal taste, I just love it when just...   so much sh*t gets in the way of two people  who just really want to be together. Like, they are obviously, you know, perfect  for each other. They match each other in all   the right ways, but just the world or  their parents or whatever, it's just... It's, you know, it's making it forbidden when  under normal circumstances it wouldn't be.   It would be the most obvious,  logical choice in the world. And this is like, such an opportunity for them to  overcome things, to to overcome these obstacles,   to find that inner strength for  each other's sake, you know? Like, show that they have these impossible  things to get over, but their love is strong   enough that they will spit in the face of God  and, like, move mountains for the other person. Like, that's romantic as hell. Number four is: consider how  they complete each other. So, this is more on a personality  sort of level. Yeah, it's just   opposites tend to attract in certain ways. For example, I'm an extrovert—I think, I don't know if that's even a real category  of person at this point because of COVID,   but I am theoretically an extrovert. But I primarily surround myself with introverts,  like my friends, my entire family: introverted.   The people I date tend to be introverted. It's like I like being balanced by a calmer  presence, and I like someone who not like,   reels me back or keeps me in check, but just  sort of reminds me that, like, it's time to go. You can't stay out until 4am, you're too old  and you will die of dehydration, let's go home. Like that sort of calming energy,  it's just good for me basically. In a similar vein, if you're writing  a romance arc with two characters that   are very outwardly different, you can play  off how they're similar internally as well. So they're foils. One thing I was thinking  about was like, if you have a character who   is just vilified, and another one who is put  on a pedestal/is like the hero of the town,   whatever—and then you get them to connect because  they're actually both really lonely—I think stuff   like that just works really well to play off  of each other's differences and similarities. Like how they connect, how they  mesh ,how they complete each other. Number five is to consider  different types of attraction. I think a lot of the time, yeah, we're a very,   you know, visually-based sort  of species a lot of the time. The first thing you're going to see in a  description of a love interest is their   physical characteristics,  and that is totally fine. People are hot, it's great. You want your love  interest to be hot, that's great. Personally,   I like it when my love interests are  scrungly, but I don't know that's just me. But considering different forms  of attraction. I did, actually,   a video a while back with my friend  Ming that talks about how the aro-ace   spectrum plays into their writing  and how they approach romance arcs. And I'm, you know, an allosexual person,  so it's a little bit different for me,   but I think it is important  to consider that perspective. Not necessarily to write  your characters as aro-ace,   but to think about what draws people  together, again, beyond the physical. And you want to think about  what your main character,   your point of view character, and the love  interest are attracted to in each other. Like, there are things when you  date someone in real life that   you're just like—I don't know  why, but this drives me wild. And it's like, it doesn't always make  sense! But if you take that into play,   I think it can be really fun and can really make   this feel like a more well-rounded and  realistic depiction of a relationship. Another thing to consider here  are the five love languages. I think... Oh God, I don't know them off the  top of my head, but like... physical touch,   gift-giving—I like how I named to mine first—um,   acts of service, uh, words  of affirmation, quality time. I did it. Those are different ways that, you know,  if you get those fulfilled by your partner,   you're going to be more appreciative of that. And people have different love languages, and  just sort of, like, considering how those play   into each other, how that's going to affect how  they behave and how the other person might feel   attracted to the things that that other person,  their partner, does to complete those needs. Number six is to consider what their lives  will look like after they get together. I think this is another thing that  tends to be sort of left to the wayside. You think about the conflict that gets involved  in the arc and like, how they get together,   and the stories tend to end with like,  that first kiss or that first night. I don't know. You know, like, there there  are definite endpoints where you kind of   stop caring as much. This happens to me when  people get together in a show I'm watching,   a long-running show, and all  the tension and drama is like,   gone and they're domestic—I kind  of don't give a sh*t anymore. But I think it's important to  consider when you're writing,   even if you don't get to that point where you're  showing... their day-to-day life on the page. Think about what future they want. What  do they have that they're working toward,   fighting for, outside of just this mutual  attraction? What are they building towards?   What do they need out of each other  at this point? What sacrifices are   they going to end up making? What does  their idea of a happy ending look like? Is it the white picket fence, is  it traveling the world together,   is it, like, having a dog and owning a cafe? Just think about what that would look like,   because then that is something that  they could lose out on, you know? Think about what the happy ending looks like  beyond the last couple of words on the page. Number seven is: consider how the two  individual people view each other. There's often a huge disconnect in this. I think, especially when you think about the  stages that a relationship hits, like the first   six-ish months or the honeymoon phase, and that's  when you're really infatuated with each other. After that, what do they see each  other? How do they view each other? I feel like a lot of the time we tend to  get pretty delusional about our partners,   especially when it's early on or  when that, like, courtship phase. So, I think it's important to not just  depict the point-of-view character's view   of that person, but to also think  about what they actually are like. I'm presenting this in as  neutral a fashion as possible,   because I think there is definitely  a way to make this super romantic,   because you know, you think about  characters that are vilified by society,   or kind of... outcasted, and then you think  about how their partner views them as perfect. Not perfect, but just amazing, incredible,  and like how that—like, being viewed a certain   way by even just one person can just totally  transform your life and your concept of yourself. I think that's really important for, um,  certain characters' journeys as well. Number eight is: don't forget the sizzle. I just... I miss when stories had genuine tension  and sizzle and spark, and like not just tropes. I'm sorry to say it, but I just like  to see it when characters who are,   you know, romantically linked are put into  situations that are uncomfortable, vulnerable. Where they have to bare their soul to  the other person for the first time,   or when they're like forced into proximity. Not in like a "one bed" way—I  kind of, I'm sick of that. The one trope that I do really tend  to like is a hurt and comfort scene,   like a patching the wounds,  sort of vulnerable moment. That always, you know, like, feels really   authentic. Especially if there's proper  build-up to it. And it can just reveal a lot. There's just so much that you can do, so many  situations you can put your characters in to,   like, force this sort of  vulnerability out of them. Number nine is: consider how  the characters behave around   each other versus how they  behave around other people. I think this is a ton of fun!  It's a great way to show contrast,   to sort of show without telling that maybe  this person who is super mean and sarcastic   and kind of closed off around others  is goofy around the person they like. It's hinting that this is someone that they like,   someone that they can sort  of be themselves around. It's a great way to show, a very  effective way to show rather   than tell that there's something  else going on under the surface. That is another thing that I will point out,  just right here, is that it's very trite,   I think to lay out someone's feelings for  another person on the table in your writing. I think it's really aggravating,   because I think so much of what makes  a romance intriguing is the subtext. It is the hidden meanings, the stolen glances,  it's like the layers of it that you have to   unravel and you have to sort of know before  they even know that something is going on here. And I think that is the key to making  a romance arc successful in the sense   that readers actually care about  it and want them to get together. But that's just my opinion as a slowburn fan. So, okay number 10 is: more focus on buildup. Again, slowburn bias, but I think depending on  whether the focus of your romance arc is physical,   emotional, etc., just building up  those moments over the course of   the subplot/plot, culminating in that  big confession, or a kiss or whatever— If it's physical it starts with small touches  like the Pride and Prejudice hand thing. Maybe it leads up to a hug? This sounds  like Middle School. But I swear to God,   building it up over the course, building up the  level of intensity over the course of the story   is so good, and it just makes it so much more  engaging, because you're waiting for that next   like beat to hit. And there's the sense of  "the dam can only hold it back for so long." That's what makes it good, because it's  like these little leaks that lead up to   that big bursting of the dam... That was  more sexual than I intended it to be. The same goes with emotional growth. It's  like a little bit of vulnerability followed   by a bigger moment, and then a bigger moment. It  culminates in that big drawn out—not drawn out,   but long—I don't know, that big  dramatic confession at the end. And again, you're going to consider  individual characterization here.   You're going to think about how  people... open up over time,   and your experience with that, if you  have personal experience with that. Okay, that is it! Those are my  thoughts on writing romance arcs. I hope that this was entertaining, if  not slightly helpful. It's definitely   stuff that I've been considering  now that I'm moving more into,   feeling more comfortable, basically,  writing these romantic subplots. So, yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and   sign off for now, and I will see you guys  next time! Thank you so much for watching. :)