Humorous Anonymous Confessions Recap

hold let me get naked real quick wait what miss me and all the things that we did we said we going to travel from the island to Madrid we had a lot of plans but they all dis who's screaming um I saw some like legit [ __ ] Zombie Walk that way it's that guy right with the two bags he looks like a zombie he was like throwing [ __ ] in front of the bank earlier you sh man shut your door show me what you got is that what he's saying it sounds like he's saying show me what you shut up and I can maybe hear I know that's what I want to well at least he's heading home it sounds like someone's leaving an army outside like St right right we should all hide under a traffic G and like use our TIY toes to like travel somewhere a [ __ ] Toy Story yeah like real sneaky kid the traffic goes out to be gigant you know I saw some guy do that to steal his neighbor's mail with a ring camera has to be a little kid or a dwarf all right guys welcome back too triplets car videos today is Friday and today we are going to be filming a Anonymous confessions I think part 4 but I'm not too shabby just kidding saw this on tour and I was like hm I should probably bring this into a car video complex posted Bigfoot sighting in Colorado question mark with eyes with eyes there's no question mark I made it up and then is it for real 44 second long video just squatt it down I can't I can't see [ __ ] Matt we got him hold on we got him hold on we caught him hold on and there it is not blurred not shaky nice camo for bigfoot there he is we caught him no no no we caught him he looks just like the movies like that's what big puts big put big fo that's what Bigfoot's supposed to look like I don't think we got still we got another see if that was me I'm getting a Tran Dart immediately with a [ __ ] blow tube and I'm going to go and then [ __ ] in Bigfoot's neck and he's like obviously not face he's Bigfoot he needs way more energy he needs way more Tran you getting the TR I'd have my Bigfoot kit ready to rock and then I'd go bing bing bing bang boom bang boom Bigfoot and then obviously where do you have to hit him at you don't have a TR where do you have to hit Bigfoot the feet the without I get him right with a like in zootopia when the big [ __ ] lamb comes in with a blueberry gun do me a favor yeah and then I get go like this why just clear that clear that my throat's for normal right now go I have nothing in my throat I'm just probably some honey from being fine to that is crazy bang bang bang in his foot ding ding ding I'm want to get one right this P me playing an arcade game it's like pinball and then you'd go down and then I'd go and I don't I don't like want to kidnap them I don't want anything to do it DNA swab put it in a tube put it in my Bigfoot kit that and then I what are you going to cross check the DNA and then I would cast a form of his foot whichever one's bigger it's a Tran Dart it's not a [ __ ] bullet dude he's going to be he's going to wake up in like 45 minutes it's a 25 a 20 24hour trank oh sorry sorry sorry I forgot I forgot it was right there oh no sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry a 24-hour trank Dart and then I'm going to take a cast of his foot they're already [ __ ] I'm going to take a cast of his foot and I'm going to put it in my truck and then I'm going to drive away the one oh selfie with him obviously and open up his eyes then make him smile and go cheese selfie and go smile all right we're going to be jumping right into the anonymous confession that my I had a crush on my step cousin stop what what's was the [ __ ] incest I talked about this last week what happened I had a crush on my step cousin what so I went to their house like normally and it was cold and I said that so that when we went upstairs to grab a hoodie from his closet he gave it to me and that's when it started this is all fake all fake I can't I literally can't hear about incest right now like I cannot do it I can't do it I actually refuse to hear about this [ __ ] right I like this big OB session next I'm not listening to a girl willingly flirt with her cousin let me say the rest of it's not take it out just pretend it's like not cousins that's what she's doing Nick I'm sick to my stomach I had this really big obsession with him and the worst part about about this thing was I live on the other side of the world that is not the worst part at all definitely that's honestly scenario at the end I realized that I didn't I didn't ever really like him I just made myself I just made myself for some reason because he gave me his hoodie oh my God this girl either that's actually like this girl either like really [ __ ] stupid or like whoa Matt a little bit I'm being honest she's really stupid or 9 years old hey get a [ __ ] muin X before speaking to me gross [ __ ] you look like the muin X green annoying dude that's okay that [ __ ] is in your throat right now so I wouldn't be saying too much don't tell me who's in my throat and who isn't what he missed the lot what is going on it in Focus I wouldn't come back in here if it wasn't Nick we've been doing this oh you are just King when I was five some girl pinned me down in a tent at skl and the tent in the t skl hold on let's decipher that and the tent is the tent that everyone went to fart in and she started [ __ ] scratching at my face like a furry what she got stuck in the fart you got stuck in you got pinned down in the fart tent I can hear them make fun of her you stink when I was in kindergarten I went to school where we changed classes to do different activities like music and art Etc the one time we had to switch classes I was with the mean teacher and I really had to go to the bathroom so I asked the teacher if I could go and she told me no because we had recess and I should have gone then so I sat in my chair for a while and had to go really really bad that I ended up peeing in my chair safe to say I told my mom wait how'd she get out of it she pissed her draws in front of the whole class class and then just went to the bathroom wait waited cuz recess was going to happen Okay safe to say I told my mom and never had to go to that class again absolutely girl says they have to use the bathroom and it gets denied the privilege of we've said this in a video and it went viral years ago well it's true it's like yeah if you ask the teacher hey can I use the bathroom and they say no get up and go to the bathroom and then say I was going to [ __ ] myself or I was going to piss myself and then and if the teacher has something to say say go to the principal and literally say Miss [ __ ] goofball wouldn't let me use the restro and then guess what she's literally going to get fired or piss and [ __ ] yourself on the ground literally if you piss yourself in a classroom and then say hey Miss dummy [ __ ] didn't let me use the bathroom she should be arrested I mean she should be no if you piss or Shake Yourself that's kind of a boss move cuz it forces your teacher in a way more uncomfortable position correct one time I threatened my chemistry teacher I if I was back in I school I just whip my [ __ ] out and piss on the floor don't use the word [ __ ] I hate that with my [ __ ] out and piss on the I feel like I'm drifting apart from my best friend and I feel like a bad friend cuz my mom hates her and takes a toll on the friendship and I feel horrible about the whole situation did you say horrible horrible like the gummies he tried to throw it depends whether or it depends what the reasoning is on your mom hating her if your mom hates your friend most likely she's a [ __ ] unless your mom's [ __ ] next I like my friend's dad but my friend found out and we're not friends anymore you like him like like has a crush on her friend's dad I think so that's so weird dude next one how the [ __ ] can people do that [ __ ] oh my God what would you do if the shorty had the apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur okayy had them Apple Bottom Jeans whenever you're ready I'm 99% sure I always forget how many trees are really in this world until I'm outside L night not really confession but story time I guess story time I guess there was a group I hate saying I guess like you know it's a story time yeah delete I guess from your keyboards please there was a group of us delete them there was a group of us that were friends I'm going to put their names as initials only me a E H and M so first M gave her H her Snapchat and number and they flirted and talked I don't know this then and then only okay [ __ ] I can't read hor Cod a a said to M A said to M that M likes folded tables and then B said not at my dinner party what I made that up that's good I can tell oh my God here we go when I was 6 years old my parents got this brand new TV for their bedroom and my me and my sisters weren't allowed to use it so 3 years later or something like that when my parents weren't home one day I went into their room and I started walking on the bed disclaimer I'm really really really clumsy I knocked over their lamp and it broke the TV I ran out of the room when my parents came home and asked me who did it I said it was my sister I love that since they already knew she goes into their room to watch the TV I love it they believed me and grounded her for 2 months damn what does your sister like can't defend herself none of my parents know to this day that it was me what why didn't your sister say [ __ ] I would have tattled so hard I would have tattled crazy oh my God I would have said no whatever my sister's being an idiot mom and dad I didn't do that [ __ ] she literally broke the [ __ ] thing sister's being an idiot mom and dad I would have literally never let that [ __ ] slide your sister's a real one actually yeah no like you owe her your life absolutely your life is crazy shut up Matt I was little maybe in the second or third grade we had two playgrounds one for the kindergarten one for the kindergarteners and one for the first Raiders they had had just gone to recess and was playing on the monkey bars before lunch my teacher told us my teacher told us we had to test it so we went to jump from the second bar and everything kids literally circled around me and my teacher came to the school with my little cousin my test that day also in kindergarten I had one of the kids push me so dramatically I fell and gave me goldfish and make the kids push me say what's going on I have no idea I have no clue I feel like I just heard like read like a [ __ ] do you know the Books of the magic treeh house like I feel like that was a Magic Treehouse event like that was like insane no idea what's the night of the playground fall I went down the ladder and then fell down got gfish with third cousin McDonald's day off no test I really love the reflective tape ripped in front of all my friends in my crush it was so embarrassing like don't confess something like that that's boring I want to hear like some crazy [ __ ] you remind me of toad like Blue Toad from Mario you remind me of an idiot and I'm what are you being so hurtful for not Matt is so hurtful guys we're just saying things that remind each other of each other no you remind me of Blue Toad when he's like like now toad doesn't say anything and then is there a cartoon character that burps and smells bad when I was a baby I used to eat why are you saying everything weird neck baby when I was a baby I was laughing dummy [ __ ] when I was a baby I used to eat when I was a baby when I was a baby I when I was a baby I had re's and headbo I'm next reading all these when I was a baby I used to eat cigarettes that I found on the beach oh my God what's wrong with you stop she a baby Chris okay but still don't eat cigarettes a baby that baby shouldn't be eating cigarettes where's your mom Corral your little kid into the the beach tent and then I get that Chris but you're calling the baby stupid for eating cigarettes like they know better mat I knew not to eat [ __ ] when I was [ __ ] 6 months I knew not to Matt was e what you were cigar someone I accidentally killed my sister's pet bird it was let out of the house one day and I had no idea until my sister came up to me asking to help me find it we were searching around the house and I took a step backwards and heard a loud I looked down in the bird we were looking for she was so mad at me I felt so bad rest in peace bubbles that's not your fault bubbles bubbles should have flown away if your sister was a good caretaker of her bird it would have been in the cage and she would have been looking for it her fault no it's bubble's fault no it's not Matt saying bubbles should have flown I agree what is Bubbles doing just getting stomped on any other bird would have flew you're bird get some High Ground correct get to a a bookshelf or something someone said they used to take their clothes out of their laundry and before putting them in the dryer would squeeze the water out into their mouth that's actually the most disturbing thing I've ever heard in my life why I mean it's clean no it's not it's soap Matt it's chemicals soap is clean [ __ ] oh yeah go eat a bar of soap then you hungry [ __ ] what are you going to eat Dove soap cuz it's soap no I'm just saying at least it's clean it's not clean it's chemicals Matt it's cleaning the clothes it's clean but it's not helpful it's not clean water you're not ringing clean water in your mouth you're ringing soapy dirty [ __ ] in your mouth understood but it's clean dirty water into her mouth it's not dirty water dirty water into her mouth what you British this argument you're just dumb you're dumb she squeezing dirty water into her mouth Matt go ring some water in your mouth then when I was 8 years old I was doing parkour at my grandparents house and I was jumping from couch to couch but one of the couches was again the wall so I accidentally jumped past the top of the couch hit the wall leaving a knee sized dented hole in the wall and started to cry not because it hurt but because I didn't want to get in trouble that's awesome that's [ __ ] hilarious yeah something you wouldn't do if you don't have any fun when I was seven I walked home from school and my house was locked and I couldn't find a spare key so I had to I decided to go for a nude swim oh yeah that's a great anyways I really needed to take a [ __ ] so I didn't didn't know when anyone in the family would be home so I took one in my backyard in this bush but then my dog started to eat it so I'm naked with an unwiped ass trying to get my dog to stop eating [ __ ] the dog eating the [ __ ] is the least of my War she ended up eating it and I got a rash because I couldn't I didn't choose a good Leaf to wipe with oh my God that's not the only bad decision you made that day you sick freak yeah it started with oh locked out my house a quick naked what are you doing with a [ __ ] loading you know what I'm doing if that happens what sitting on my porch waiting for somebody else correct I'm breaking in my own home I'll find a way I'd climb the [ __ ] fire escape to the roof looks like I got 30 minutes to swim naked like I would literally run and Sprint and kick a window in and then just get in the house and then repair it somehow if I had just [ __ ] so bad people are weird dude so weird how's your dog outside too if the house was locked what does your dog permanently stay outside bad dog owner what are you a fiber fiber not a deep and dark confession but funny story freshman here in high school we were split up in the gym guys and girls for exercises we were about to finish but then we had some time left over so we got to chill for a bit me and my friend sat on the bleachers which were those ones you could pull off the wall middle middle ones were closed so only the top and bottom seats were open I sat at the top with my friends when it was time to go change we were all getting down and I decided to jump oh they were like dancing bad move my foot missed the bottom step so I fell forward Jim went silent and filled with laughter from all the girls when I tell you I fell and it looked like a caution taped body crime scene is exactly how I looked anyways I had just swollen ankle for the next few days and now it's this story that completely makes everyone die of laughter hope you can picture it yeah that was dropped like 10 falling falling in public or falling in front of a big group of people most embarrassing thing ever only if you really really care about it my dad and I moved into an apartment at the beginning of my sixth grade year we lived next to it the manager of the complex wal to wall and she was a [ __ ] and used to always complain about the stupidest [ __ ] where's that dog you farted my dad work M made stinky my dad worked a Night Trips at the hospital and one time I woke up in the middle of the night after where he went to work what sprinted up what he say he said sprint it upstairs no what did you just say her dad worked night shifts got home from work and she ran up and down the stairs that were connected to her wall banging on the walls just because I was in a goofy mood she called Neighbor yeah she called my dad and told him there's a crazy obnoxious loud sound coming from the apartment and doesn't know if it could stop or if she had to call the police and so he called me and I answered the phone as if he had woken me up in the best sleep I ever got and I told him I had no idea what he was talking about and went right on with my night I love I love it I love [ __ ] like that that's beautiful when I was 12 my grandma's husband step Grandad I guess took me and my cousin to the Gazebo by ourselves we were both 12 years old what's the Gaze and he told us to drink mixed berry Smirnoffs we both declined and he called us [ __ ] and [ __ ] that's terrible I didn't want my cousin we have a great grandfather I didn't want my cousin to have to drink so I told him that if he got shot glasses I would he did find some and then I don't know how many shots he made me drink I do remember the stuff he told us though plot twist my grandma was out there the whole time listening I've recently started telling my story I still feel guilty at fault sometimes I just have to remember I was a child my grandma is now telling everyone that I was lying about this happening that's actually so her grandparents are getting her that's horrible I was just laughing at like the shock of the situation that's it's like the SM like the name of the Dr that killed me that's so funny that's insane I was in second grade I went to a daycare after school I was sort of friends with the daughter of the daycare hair lady but she was super bossy and straight up mean like at 6 years old you were super bossy and straight up mean like at 6 years old this [ __ ] was dead calling me fat what how she was sick that's wait who is this I feel like that's all you got who is this Anonymous confession no the [ __ ] beginning the teacher her daycare teacher no it's not her daycare teacher n fat her daycare teacher's kid when I was in 2 grade I went to daycare after school I was sort of friends with the daughter of the daycare lady but she was super bossy and straight up mean yeah the little kid oh I don't I think she's talking about the just go like at 6 years old this [ __ ] was dead calling me fat yeah the girl 6 years old one day she having a play date somewhere else so lucky me got to use her special pink cup with a built-in straw she never let anyone use this cup I was always so bitter about it so little me was from the cup and pret sticks I realized the pretzels are the same size as the straw in the cup so I shoved a pretzel in the straw and it was permanently stuck in there and I never got to use her pink cup again I'm 19 and I'm still so proud of the fact that I stopped her from being able to use her pink cup awesome I love that when I was 6 years old I had a massive fear of toilets I was so scared of the flush and have to like push the lever and bolt my ass out of the bathroom that's embarrassing at daycare I couldn't do that so normally I would just hold it until I got home all day I had to [ __ ] so bad I [ __ ] in the garbage in the bathroom and then covered it with toilet paper I lost my privilege to go to the bathroom at daycare after that being scared of the flush of a toilet is insane when we were in school I I vivly remember pissing myself during cot time once when we were in school I used to remember kids like crazy [ __ ] I remember used kids doing crazy [ __ ] in the bathroom like not being able to do like like [ __ ] on a wall or like throwing up and [ __ ] at the same time here the thing I was like how are their kids doing this the thing about preschool is every teacher know every kid goes to the bathroom one at a time and the teacher knows if it was you that like made it messy okay I went to Disneyland for my 10th birthday and we were allowed to go on the one of the last rides and had to pick between Splash Mountain or some other ride that I don't remember but me and my cousin chose to go on Splash Mountain and I had to pee really really [ __ ] bad on Splash Mountain like so bad at the end of the ride when we got hit with a bunch of water I peed when I got off the ride and I just acted like I got really wet from the water my cousin didn't know that she literally got covered in my urine that day and I didn't tell tell her until like 2 months ago and I'm 14 now that's fine I [ __ ] used to take baths together and piss all over each other I'm sure we're babies like come on Nick we were babies you're telling me we w't babies I don't we were babies I'm glad that my memories don't go that far back yeah I don't remember [ __ ] from y grou you guys don't remember group bath group [ __ ] bath time group bath cut out the f word okay do you guys remember y'all always say that like the f word of worst times group [ __ ] bath time okay do you guys remember come on do you guys remember when we did take baths together no we were [ __ ] sick cut that out you have no memory of that no I don't I have like just memories of rat first rat in the while you see it no I just I saw it's in that little Bush being a little [ __ ] muskrat what's a muskrat I don't know I it's being a little cheese eater I saw your cheese eater go eat some [ __ ] Mouse TR cheese [ __ ] yeah go eat some colby jack I hate you so much I hate foldable sign I used to carve huge holes into my wall what by my bed with my bare what are you escaping prison what this Al by my wall with my bare hands and when I rearranged my room my parents thought we had ter what the [ __ ] just get like a [ __ ] scratch board or like a stress ball or something a scratchboard for a human is crazy do something the wall what's it called like the bills bills Mafia thing when I was younger I used to take giant slices of butter and just eat it like it was a lollipop Nick hates butter fun fact my friend told me that she lost her hamster and then she found it a week later I guess had gotten out of its cage and crawled up and drowned in her toilet oh my God imagine how devastating you'd be if you had to [ __ ] on your hamster well so you have to [ __ ] so bad who the [ __ ] what oh oh my God I thought there was someone there I actually did usually you just look over my shoulder that was I thought there was someone there oh my God I actually thought there was someone behind us I'm not lying Jason dulo everyone sing a Jason dulo song with me um you spin my head follow us on Instagram at stolo you can find all of our individual socials from there I'm follow Nick yeah you miss me and all the things that we did we said we going to travel from the island to Madrid we had a lot of plans but they all why oh because of someid but it's okay cuz I'm moving different don't be saying nothing when I'm PST up with other [ __ ] for my brothers

hold let me get naked real quick wait what miss me and all the things that we did we said we going to travel from the island to Madrid we had a lot of plans but they all dis who's screaming um I saw some like legit [ __ ] Zombie Walk that way it's that guy right with the two bags he looks like a zombie he was like throwing [ __ ] in front of the bank earlier you sh man shut your door show me what you got is that what he's saying it sounds like he's saying show me what you shut up and I can maybe hear I know that's what I want to well at least he's heading home it sounds like someone's leaving an army outside like St right right we should all hide under a traffic G and like use our TIY toes to like travel somewhere a [ __ ] Toy Story yeah like real sneaky kid the traffic goes out to be gigant you know I saw some guy do that to steal his neighbor's mail with a ring camera has to be a little kid or a dwarf all right guys welcome back too triplets car videos today is Friday and today we are going to be filming a Anonymous confessions I think part 4 but I'm not too shabby just kidding saw this on tour and I was like hm I should probably bring this into a car video complex posted Bigfoot sighting in Colorado question mark with eyes with eyes there's no question mark I made it up and then is it for real 44 second long video just squatt it down I can't I can't see [ __ ] Matt we got him hold on we got him hold on we caught him hold on and there it is not blurred not shaky nice camo for bigfoot there he is we caught him no no no we caught him he looks just like the movies like that's what big puts big put big fo that's what Bigfoot's supposed to look like I don't think we got still we got another see if that was me I'm getting a Tran Dart immediately with a [ __ ] blow tube and I'm going to go and then [ __ ] in Bigfoot's neck and he's like obviously not face he's Bigfoot he needs way more energy he needs way more Tran you getting the TR I'd have my Bigfoot kit ready to rock and then I'd go bing bing bing bang boom bang boom Bigfoot and then obviously where do you have to hit him at you don't have a TR where do you have to hit Bigfoot the feet the without I get him right with a like in zootopia when the big [ __ ] lamb comes in with a blueberry gun do me a favor yeah and then I get go like this why just clear that clear that my throat's for normal right now go I have nothing in my throat I'm just probably some honey from being fine to that is crazy bang bang bang in his foot ding ding ding I'm want to get one right this P me playing an arcade game it's like pinball and then you'd go down and then I'd go and I don't I don't like want to kidnap them I don't want anything to do it DNA swab put it in a tube put it in my Bigfoot kit that and then I what are you going to cross check the DNA and then I would cast a form of his foot whichever one's bigger it's a Tran Dart it's not a [ __ ] bullet dude he's going to be he's going to wake up in like 45 minutes it's a 25 a 20 24hour trank oh sorry sorry sorry I forgot I forgot it was right there oh no sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry a 24-hour trank Dart and then I'm going to take a cast of his foot they're already [ __ ] I'm going to take a cast of his foot and I'm going to put it in my truck and then I'm going to drive away the one oh selfie with him obviously and open up his eyes then make him smile and go cheese selfie and go smile all right we're going to be jumping right into the anonymous confession that my I had a crush on my step cousin stop what what's was the [ __ ] incest I talked about this last week what happened I had a crush on my step cousin what so I went to their house like normally and it was cold and I said that so that when we went upstairs to grab a hoodie from his closet he gave it to me and that's when it started this is all fake all fake I can't I literally can't hear about incest right now like I cannot do it I can't do it I actually refuse to hear about this [ __ ] right I like this big OB session next I'm not listening to a girl willingly flirt with her cousin let me say the rest of it's not take it out just pretend it's like not cousins that's what she's doing Nick I'm sick to my stomach I had this really big obsession with him and the worst part about about this thing was I live on the other side of the world that is not the worst part at all definitely that's honestly scenario at the end I realized that I didn't I didn't ever really like him I just made myself I just made myself for some reason because he gave me his hoodie oh my God this girl either that's actually like this girl either like really [ __ ] stupid or like whoa Matt a little bit I'm being honest she's really stupid or 9 years old hey get a [ __ ] muin X before speaking to me gross [ __ ] you look like the muin X green annoying dude that's okay that [ __ ] is in your throat right now so I wouldn't be saying too much don't tell me who's in my throat and who isn't what he missed the lot what is going on it in Focus I wouldn't come back in here if it wasn't Nick we've been doing this oh you are just King when I was five some girl pinned me down in a tent at skl and the tent in the t skl hold on let's decipher that and the tent is the tent that everyone went to fart in and she started [ __ ] scratching at my face like a furry what she got stuck in the fart you got stuck in you got pinned down in the fart tent I can hear them make fun of her you stink when I was in kindergarten I went to school where we changed classes to do different activities like music and art Etc the one time we had to switch classes I was with the mean teacher and I really had to go to the bathroom so I asked the teacher if I could go and she told me no because we had recess and I should have gone then so I sat in my chair for a while and had to go really really bad that I ended up peeing in my chair safe to say I told my mom wait how'd she get out of it she pissed her draws in front of the whole class class and then just went to the bathroom wait waited cuz recess was going to happen Okay safe to say I told my mom and never had to go to that class again absolutely girl says they have to use the bathroom and it gets denied the privilege of we've said this in a video and it went viral years ago well it's true it's like yeah if you ask the teacher hey can I use the bathroom and they say no get up and go to the bathroom and then say I was going to [ __ ] myself or I was going to piss myself and then and if the teacher has something to say say go to the principal and literally say Miss [ __ ] goofball wouldn't let me use the restro and then guess what she's literally going to get fired or piss and [ __ ] yourself on the ground literally if you piss yourself in a classroom and then say hey Miss dummy [ __ ] didn't let me use the bathroom she should be arrested I mean she should be no if you piss or Shake Yourself that's kind of a boss move cuz it forces your teacher in a way more uncomfortable position correct one time I threatened my chemistry teacher I if I was back in I school I just whip my [ __ ] out and piss on the floor don't use the word [ __ ] I hate that with my [ __ ] out and piss on the I feel like I'm drifting apart from my best friend and I feel like a bad friend cuz my mom hates her and takes a toll on the friendship and I feel horrible about the whole situation did you say horrible horrible like the gummies he tried to throw it depends whether or it depends what the reasoning is on your mom hating her if your mom hates your friend most likely she's a [ __ ] unless your mom's [ __ ] next I like my friend's dad but my friend found out and we're not friends anymore you like him like like has a crush on her friend's dad I think so that's so weird dude next one how the [ __ ] can people do that [ __ ] oh my God what would you do if the shorty had the apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur okayy had them Apple Bottom Jeans whenever you're ready I'm 99% sure I always forget how many trees are really in this world until I'm outside L night not really confession but story time I guess story time I guess there was a group I hate saying I guess like you know it's a story time yeah delete I guess from your keyboards please there was a group of us delete them there was a group of us that were friends I'm going to put their names as initials only me a E H and M so first M gave her H her Snapchat and number and they flirted and talked I don't know this then and then only okay [ __ ] I can't read hor Cod a a said to M A said to M that M likes folded tables and then B said not at my dinner party what I made that up that's good I can tell oh my God here we go when I was 6 years old my parents got this brand new TV for their bedroom and my me and my sisters weren't allowed to use it so 3 years later or something like that when my parents weren't home one day I went into their room and I started walking on the bed disclaimer I'm really really really clumsy I knocked over their lamp and it broke the TV I ran out of the room when my parents came home and asked me who did it I said it was my sister I love that since they already knew she goes into their room to watch the TV I love it they believed me and grounded her for 2 months damn what does your sister like can't defend herself none of my parents know to this day that it was me what why didn't your sister say [ __ ] I would have tattled so hard I would have tattled crazy oh my God I would have said no whatever my sister's being an idiot mom and dad I didn't do that [ __ ] she literally broke the [ __ ] thing sister's being an idiot mom and dad I would have literally never let that [ __ ] slide your sister's a real one actually yeah no like you owe her your life absolutely your life is crazy shut up Matt I was little maybe in the second or third grade we had two playgrounds one for the kindergarten one for the kindergarteners and one for the first Raiders they had had just gone to recess and was playing on the monkey bars before lunch my teacher told us my teacher told us we had to test it so we went to jump from the second bar and everything kids literally circled around me and my teacher came to the school with my little cousin my test that day also in kindergarten I had one of the kids push me so dramatically I fell and gave me goldfish and make the kids push me say what's going on I have no idea I have no clue I feel like I just heard like read like a [ __ ] do you know the Books of the magic treeh house like I feel like that was a Magic Treehouse event like that was like insane no idea what's the night of the playground fall I went down the ladder and then fell down got gfish with third cousin McDonald's day off no test I really love the reflective tape ripped in front of all my friends in my crush it was so embarrassing like don't confess something like that that's boring I want to hear like some crazy [ __ ] you remind me of toad like Blue Toad from Mario you remind me of an idiot and I'm what are you being so hurtful for not Matt is so hurtful guys we're just saying things that remind each other of each other no you remind me of Blue Toad when he's like like now toad doesn't say anything and then is there a cartoon character that burps and smells bad when I was a baby I used to eat why are you saying everything weird neck baby when I was a baby I was laughing dummy [ __ ] when I was a baby I used to eat when I was a baby when I was a baby I when I was a baby I had re's and headbo I'm next reading all these when I was a baby I used to eat cigarettes that I found on the beach oh my God what's wrong with you stop she a baby Chris okay but still don't eat cigarettes a baby that baby shouldn't be eating cigarettes where's your mom Corral your little kid into the the beach tent and then I get that Chris but you're calling the baby stupid for eating cigarettes like they know better mat I knew not to eat [ __ ] when I was [ __ ] 6 months I knew not to Matt was e what you were cigar someone I accidentally killed my sister's pet bird it was let out of the house one day and I had no idea until my sister came up to me asking to help me find it we were searching around the house and I took a step backwards and heard a loud I looked down in the bird we were looking for she was so mad at me I felt so bad rest in peace bubbles that's not your fault bubbles bubbles should have flown away if your sister was a good caretaker of her bird it would have been in the cage and she would have been looking for it her fault no it's bubble's fault no it's not Matt saying bubbles should have flown I agree what is Bubbles doing just getting stomped on any other bird would have flew you're bird get some High Ground correct get to a a bookshelf or something someone said they used to take their clothes out of their laundry and before putting them in the dryer would squeeze the water out into their mouth that's actually the most disturbing thing I've ever heard in my life why I mean it's clean no it's not it's soap Matt it's chemicals soap is clean [ __ ] oh yeah go eat a bar of soap then you hungry [ __ ] what are you going to eat Dove soap cuz it's soap no I'm just saying at least it's clean it's not clean it's chemicals Matt it's cleaning the clothes it's clean but it's not helpful it's not clean water you're not ringing clean water in your mouth you're ringing soapy dirty [ __ ] in your mouth understood but it's clean dirty water into her mouth it's not dirty water dirty water into her mouth what you British this argument you're just dumb you're dumb she squeezing dirty water into her mouth Matt go ring some water in your mouth then when I was 8 years old I was doing parkour at my grandparents house and I was jumping from couch to couch but one of the couches was again the wall so I accidentally jumped past the top of the couch hit the wall leaving a knee sized dented hole in the wall and started to cry not because it hurt but because I didn't want to get in trouble that's awesome that's [ __ ] hilarious yeah something you wouldn't do if you don't have any fun when I was seven I walked home from school and my house was locked and I couldn't find a spare key so I had to I decided to go for a nude swim oh yeah that's a great anyways I really needed to take a [ __ ] so I didn't didn't know when anyone in the family would be home so I took one in my backyard in this bush but then my dog started to eat it so I'm naked with an unwiped ass trying to get my dog to stop eating [ __ ] the dog eating the [ __ ] is the least of my War she ended up eating it and I got a rash because I couldn't I didn't choose a good Leaf to wipe with oh my God that's not the only bad decision you made that day you sick freak yeah it started with oh locked out my house a quick naked what are you doing with a [ __ ] loading you know what I'm doing if that happens what sitting on my porch waiting for somebody else correct I'm breaking in my own home I'll find a way I'd climb the [ __ ] fire escape to the roof looks like I got 30 minutes to swim naked like I would literally run and Sprint and kick a window in and then just get in the house and then repair it somehow if I had just [ __ ] so bad people are weird dude so weird how's your dog outside too if the house was locked what does your dog permanently stay outside bad dog owner what are you a fiber fiber not a deep and dark confession but funny story freshman here in high school we were split up in the gym guys and girls for exercises we were about to finish but then we had some time left over so we got to chill for a bit me and my friend sat on the bleachers which were those ones you could pull off the wall middle middle ones were closed so only the top and bottom seats were open I sat at the top with my friends when it was time to go change we were all getting down and I decided to jump oh they were like dancing bad move my foot missed the bottom step so I fell forward Jim went silent and filled with laughter from all the girls when I tell you I fell and it looked like a caution taped body crime scene is exactly how I looked anyways I had just swollen ankle for the next few days and now it's this story that completely makes everyone die of laughter hope you can picture it yeah that was dropped like 10 falling falling in public or falling in front of a big group of people most embarrassing thing ever only if you really really care about it my dad and I moved into an apartment at the beginning of my sixth grade year we lived next to it the manager of the complex wal to wall and she was a [ __ ] and used to always complain about the stupidest [ __ ] where's that dog you farted my dad work M made stinky my dad worked a Night Trips at the hospital and one time I woke up in the middle of the night after where he went to work what sprinted up what he say he said sprint it upstairs no what did you just say her dad worked night shifts got home from work and she ran up and down the stairs that were connected to her wall banging on the walls just because I was in a goofy mood she called Neighbor yeah she called my dad and told him there's a crazy obnoxious loud sound coming from the apartment and doesn't know if it could stop or if she had to call the police and so he called me and I answered the phone as if he had woken me up in the best sleep I ever got and I told him I had no idea what he was talking about and went right on with my night I love I love it I love [ __ ] like that that's beautiful when I was 12 my grandma's husband step Grandad I guess took me and my cousin to the Gazebo by ourselves we were both 12 years old what's the Gaze and he told us to drink mixed berry Smirnoffs we both declined and he called us [ __ ] and [ __ ] that's terrible I didn't want my cousin we have a great grandfather I didn't want my cousin to have to drink so I told him that if he got shot glasses I would he did find some and then I don't know how many shots he made me drink I do remember the stuff he told us though plot twist my grandma was out there the whole time listening I've recently started telling my story I still feel guilty at fault sometimes I just have to remember I was a child my grandma is now telling everyone that I was lying about this happening that's actually so her grandparents are getting her that's horrible I was just laughing at like the shock of the situation that's it's like the SM like the name of the Dr that killed me that's so funny that's insane I was in second grade I went to a daycare after school I was sort of friends with the daughter of the daycare hair lady but she was super bossy and straight up mean like at 6 years old you were super bossy and straight up mean like at 6 years old this [ __ ] was dead calling me fat what how she was sick that's wait who is this I feel like that's all you got who is this Anonymous confession no the [ __ ] beginning the teacher her daycare teacher no it's not her daycare teacher n fat her daycare teacher's kid when I was in 2 grade I went to daycare after school I was sort of friends with the daughter of the daycare lady but she was super bossy and straight up mean yeah the little kid oh I don't I think she's talking about the just go like at 6 years old this [ __ ] was dead calling me fat yeah the girl 6 years old one day she having a play date somewhere else so lucky me got to use her special pink cup with a built-in straw she never let anyone use this cup I was always so bitter about it so little me was from the cup and pret sticks I realized the pretzels are the same size as the straw in the cup so I shoved a pretzel in the straw and it was permanently stuck in there and I never got to use her pink cup again I'm 19 and I'm still so proud of the fact that I stopped her from being able to use her pink cup awesome I love that when I was 6 years old I had a massive fear of toilets I was so scared of the flush and have to like push the lever and bolt my ass out of the bathroom that's embarrassing at daycare I couldn't do that so normally I would just hold it until I got home all day I had to [ __ ] so bad I [ __ ] in the garbage in the bathroom and then covered it with toilet paper I lost my privilege to go to the bathroom at daycare after that being scared of the flush of a toilet is insane when we were in school I I vivly remember pissing myself during cot time once when we were in school I used to remember kids like crazy [ __ ] I remember used kids doing crazy [ __ ] in the bathroom like not being able to do like like [ __ ] on a wall or like throwing up and [ __ ] at the same time here the thing I was like how are their kids doing this the thing about preschool is every teacher know every kid goes to the bathroom one at a time and the teacher knows if it was you that like made it messy okay I went to Disneyland for my 10th birthday and we were allowed to go on the one of the last rides and had to pick between Splash Mountain or some other ride that I don't remember but me and my cousin chose to go on Splash Mountain and I had to pee really really [ __ ] bad on Splash Mountain like so bad at the end of the ride when we got hit with a bunch of water I peed when I got off the ride and I just acted like I got really wet from the water my cousin didn't know that she literally got covered in my urine that day and I didn't tell tell her until like 2 months ago and I'm 14 now that's fine I [ __ ] used to take baths together and piss all over each other I'm sure we're babies like come on Nick we were babies you're telling me we w't babies I don't we were babies I'm glad that my memories don't go that far back yeah I don't remember [ __ ] from y grou you guys don't remember group bath group [ __ ] bath time group bath cut out the f word okay do you guys remember y'all always say that like the f word of worst times group [ __ ] bath time okay do you guys remember come on do you guys remember when we did take baths together no we were [ __ ] sick cut that out you have no memory of that no I don't I have like just memories of rat first rat in the while you see it no I just I saw it's in that little Bush being a little [ __ ] muskrat what's a muskrat I don't know I it's being a little cheese eater I saw your cheese eater go eat some [ __ ] Mouse TR cheese [ __ ] yeah go eat some colby jack I hate you so much I hate foldable sign I used to carve huge holes into my wall what by my bed with my bare what are you escaping prison what this Al by my wall with my bare hands and when I rearranged my room my parents thought we had ter what the [ __ ] just get like a [ __ ] scratch board or like a stress ball or something a scratchboard for a human is crazy do something the wall what's it called like the bills bills Mafia thing when I was younger I used to take giant slices of butter and just eat it like it was a lollipop Nick hates butter fun fact my friend told me that she lost her hamster and then she found it a week later I guess had gotten out of its cage and crawled up and drowned in her toilet oh my God imagine how devastating you'd be if you had to [ __ ] on your hamster well so you have to [ __ ] so bad who the [ __ ] what oh oh my God I thought there was someone there I actually did usually you just look over my shoulder that was I thought there was someone there oh my God I actually thought there was someone behind us I'm not lying Jason dulo everyone sing a Jason dulo song with me um you spin my head follow us on Instagram at stolo you can find all of our individual socials from there I'm follow Nick yeah you miss me and all the things that we did we said we going to travel from the island to Madrid we had a lot of plans but they all why oh because of someid but it's okay cuz I'm moving different don't be saying nothing when I'm PST up with other [ __ ] for my brothers

Transcript for:Humorous Anonymous Confessions Recap

Transcript for:
Humorous Anonymous Confessions Recap