so how can we use this understanding of the controlling Force how can we use the understanding that pain is a greater motivator than even pleasure well the way to use it is to begin to understand that in any moment in time our reality is based on whatever we focus on that is at any moment in time whatever you focus on is what's most real to you for example if you're looking at that piece of chocolate and you think about eating the chocolate and you just let your mind flow based on its old associations it might say m yumbo it's time eat you might immediately get that pleasure feeling and as long as you focus on the pleasure you're going to get and that is your primary focus and that's what's most real to you then you're going to be drawn towards the chocolate but haven't you also had times where you didn't eat the chocolate or you didn't eat something that normally you're kind of addicted to haven't there been times when you stopped yourself how have you done that the answer is you changed your focus and you focused on the pain you probably would experience or the pleasure you would get by not eating the chocolate so what you did is instead of just thinking intellectually well yeah not eating the chocolate will make me thinner you literally focused on hey I'm going to be going to this particular ball and I want to look like a million bucks I want to feel strong if I eat that chocolate I'm going to feel lousy I'm going to feel bloated I'm going to feel heavy so you began to focus on all the pain plus all the pleasure You' get by not eating it and your behavior changed isn't that true if you've ever stuck to a diet for example isn't it true that the way you stuck to it is one day you finally got to the point where You' had it you said look I looked in the mirror one day or somebody said something to you or you noticed that you were just feeling sloppy and tired and you went through what I call threshold threshold is when you experience so much pain you said I've had it that's it no more and then you begin to find a way to change it well I believe that you can do this with anything at any moment in time and I know you can all you got to do is control your mental focus so if you want to change your behavior you must focus on how not doing something is going to more painful than just going for it in other words link not taking action is being more painful than just doing it just the way we talked about with procrastination do it to yourself upfront don't wait till life puts you in a pressure situation where you feel like you have to do something does that make sense so how can we use this in other areas of our life do the same thing you want to connect with somebody you want to make sure you communicate with them then think about if I don't do this I know I feel busy I know I feel overloaded but if I don't call them here on their birthday on Easter how's it going to make them feel how am I going to feel you know that would be painful if I just made the call and I connect with them and they feel appreciated how's that going to make me feel pleasurable use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you that's the secret to success you do that and you're in control of your life you don't do that and life controls you and unfortunately for most people life controls them so let's change it and in the next tape we're going to talk about about specifically how to change what we associate pain and pleasure to but step number one is just getting clear that this is the controlling force of your life if there's anything you want to do and you can't figure out why you're not doing it there's a simple answer you link more pain to doing it than not doing it hey if you don't have enough money for example I know that's an issue for a lot of people it was for a good deal of my life if you don't have money there's only one reason you link more pain to having more money than not having it now you say Okay Tony you've been okay up until now now you've gone over threshold I don't buy that theory hey I wouldn't have bought it either but it's true I got to tell you something you're an intelligent person you have the ability to produce results you had enough personal power to make a phone call put your money in the line and now you're falling through and listening to it you're in that top on10th of 1% literally I mean you aren't just somebody who just hanging out you're willing to do something about it even with all of that your ability to follow through if you don't have the money that you want in your life it's not because you're not smart enough it's not because you don't have the ability it's not because there isn't money available there's plenty of money in the world if you don't have any that's because there's something inside of you that you link pain to having it and the reason I say that is I don't care who it is that I've interviewed or modeled or done a personal consultation with if they have got a lack of abundance financially it's because of two things number one they absolutely in their gut somewhere in their subconscious mind they think think money is going to mean pain that if I have money then what's going to happen is to get it oh gosh I'm going to have to put all this effort and that'll be so painful after all I'm kind of comfortable where I am yeah I'd like more money but H you know I'm kind of feeling pretty good here and another I'm feeling pretty pleasurable here but God having money will take some pain so they don't follow through or in order to have money you've got to take advantage of other people and that person has that belief and you and I we're not going to take advantage of people in our gut we wouldn't allow ourselves to do that that would be ultimate pain for most of us so we're not going to do that now I know there's some people that don't link pain to taking advantage of people but most people I think do in their heart so you don't want to do that so that's painful or they've got Linked UP well if you make money then people are going to judge you all of a sudden they're you're going to be ostracized or maybe somewhere in your mind you believe oh gosh if I make that much money and I make it to the top financially I'll be all alone I'll Be Lonely at the Top hey that's a bunch of garbage it is not Lonely at the Top it's true the bottom is more crowded but there's plenty of room at the top and if you do things in a way that supports the people around you you can take your friends with you financially the point is that if you don't have the money it's cuz you link pain to it there's more pain e