Super Soul Sessions: Brene Brown on Trust

Introduction

• Event: Super Soul Sessions, a series of live events and digital content on OWN and the web
• Host: Oprah Winfrey
• Speaker: Brene Brown, professor, researcher, and author
• Topic: The Anatomy of Trust

Brene Brown's Credentials

• TED Talk: Over 22 million views
• New York Times Best-Selling Author: 3 books
• Researcher on vulnerability, shame, and trust

Personal Anecdote on Trust

• Brene's daughter, Ellen, experienced a breach of trust at school
• Resulting in Ellen saying she will never trust anyone again
• Brene explains trust using the "marble jar" metaphor
  • Fill jar through small acts of trustworthiness
• Example of Marble-Jar Friends: Friends who perform small acts of kindness
  • E.g., saving a cafeteria seat, remembering grandparents' names

Key Insights on Trust

• Trust is built in small moments
• Examples from research: Asking about personal issues, helping during emergencies, attending funerals
• Trust & Help: Trust also involves being able to ask for help
• Charles Feltman’s Definition:
  • Trust: Making something important to you vulnerable to someone's actions
  • Distrust: What I shared with you is not safe with you

Braving: The Anatomy of Trust

• Acronym: B.R.A.V.I.N.G.

B - Boundaries

• Respecting and maintaining clear boundaries

R - Reliability

• Doing what you say you will, consistently

A - Accountability

• Owning mistakes, apologizing, and making amends

V - Vault

• Keeping confidences (and respecting third-party confidences)
  • Counterfeit Trust: Building relationships on common enemy intimacy (gossip)

I - Integrity

• Choosing courage over comfort, right over easy, practicing values

N - Non-Judgment

• Being able to ask for and offer help without judgment

G - Generosity

• Making generous assumptions about others’ behaviors and checking in with them

Importance of Trust

• Breaks down trust issues into specific, addressable parts
• Example: Understanding if a problem is about reliability, boundaries, etc.
• Self-Trust: Applying B.R.A.V.I.N.G. to yourself
  • Reflect on how well you honor your boundaries, accountability, etc.
• Self-Worth: Can't ask others to provide what you don't believe you deserve
• Maya Angelou’s Quote: