100 men versus a single adult gorilla. The highly anticipated event, organized by YouTuber Mr. Beast, ended in tragedy today. We had a whole plan. Gary made a PowerPoint. Authorities are calling the incident a gross lapse in judgment. Mr. Beast, however, referred to it as a banger. He went through 87 of us with ease. He's like the Bonnie Blue of gorillas. The event, dubbed Harambee's Revenge, started as a simple internet debate. Someone on the internet said gorillas get tired fast. Guess what? He didn't. He didn't even yawn. The rules were simple. No weapons, no armor, and victory declared only if the gorilla was fully subdued. At one point, someone yelled, "Former circle." He spun through us like a Beyblade. Dude activated a Super Smash Brothers finisher. Mr. Beast claimed this was his most epic challenge yet. With contestants reportedly offered $10,000 or a Tesla, they said he'd be intimidated. Nope. He made direct eye contact with me and smiled like a dentist. At one point, he looked bored. Witnesses say the first casualty occurred within 8 seconds of the starting whistle. We lost wave three pretty early. We thought we could all just pile on. Bro wore us like a backpack. It was like Squid Games except only four Asian guys died. Selections were based entirely on online applications and Reddit up votes. We just we didn't account for the part where you could punch through a man's sternum like a Capri Sun. I wasn't in the PowerPoint.