Transcript for:
Focus on the Family with Lisa Harper: Perseverance and Waiting

The two biggest miracles I've seen with my own eyes that happened in our family were on the other side of waiting, on the other side of waiting a long time. Welcome to the Focus on the Family broadcast, helping you and your family thrive in crisis. Well, I'm a big fan of Lisa Harper because she worked here at Focus on the Family for so many years as the director of our outreach to women. She's an excellent communicator with the ability to teach deep biblical principles. She's just completed her doctoral studies at Denver Seminary, which is quite an achievement. I see. She's combined that with a very warm and relatable sense of humor. Lisa has never been married. She says Mr. Wright never found her because he got lost and wouldn't ask for directions. That's a little bit of a slam on us guys. And she's the proud adoptive mother of a beautiful Haitian girl named Missy. And as we share a portion of Lisa's testimony today, you'll hear why that's a really big deal. This message was given at Propel Conference for Women, and I want to say thank you to our friends at TBN for allowing us to share this with you. Here's Lisa Harper on today's Focus on the Family. Jesus says, in this world, you will have trouble. He says, take heart, I've overcome the world, but in this world, you will have trouble. And sometimes I think when we have an event like this and you have amazing communicators like this and incredible worship, a lot of us are deluded into thinking, if only I tried harder, if only I did better, my life would be perfect too. And y'all, that's just not the gospel. The gospel is, he is good, but life can be really hard. So in these last few minutes we have together, I don't want it to be a downer, but I do want to talk about perseverance. And so as we leave, I really want to talk about what it looks like to live and to love and to lead in a way that honors our Creator, Redeemer, when nobody's watching, when nobody's clapping, when really nobody's running alongside us. And so I want to tell you a couple of stories. One is... I want to tell you what happened two weeks before I started the process with Missy. I was in the process of adopting a little girl named Anna Price. And I had been in the process with her the entire pregnancy of her mama. Her mama's name is Marie. And I just loved Marie as much as I loved her unborn baby girl. Marie is a hardcore crack addict and a prostitute. And by the grace of God, she chose not to abort her baby, even though she had no idea who the daddy was. It was one of her Johns. And then, by the grace of God, she met me and decided I was supposed to be Anna Price's mother. And I was at every single doctor's appointment. And I spent Christmas a couple of years ago in a crack house with Marie, because when I was with her, she used less. And because I'm older, I became a mother figure for her. And I mean, I loved that kid. and I told all my friends, do not give me baby gifts. Do not throw parties for me. Some of you who may have been in an adoption process yourself or know people who are in an adoption like that, it's a very high-risk adoption. It was a very high-risk pregnancy. The doctor said it was unlikely that Anna Price would actually live because of the hardcore drug use, but, you know, month after month, she kept getting stronger and stronger and stronger, but I still said, y'all don't. Don't give me any baby gifts. I really won't know until about a week before she's born if I actually get to bring her home to Tennessee. And five days before I was supposed to go pick her up, the adoption agency called me and they said, Lisa, it's unbelievable, but every single paper has been sunk. even the state where Marie lived, they have agreed with the state of Tennessee, the only person who's legally allowed to bring Anna Price home from the hospital is you. I said, you can go ahead and get everything ready. You can go ahead and buy the crib. She's coming home with you. Her name is legally Anna Price Harper. And I got off the phone, and I don't know if you've ever carried a dream for a long, long time, and it finally comes true. And it's just like... like this weight comes off you. And I just kind of collapsed on the couch and began to just bawl, crying, happy tears. You know, I was just like, I can't believe it. After all these months of kind of holding my breath. and all those years of not thinking I was good enough to be a mom, thinking I was too damaged to be a mama, I was like, oh my goodness, in less than a week, I'm going to have a baby girl in the upstairs bedroom. I was just undone. And so I called my mama. I called two or three of my best friends, and I just, I could hardly speak. I was so excited. And about 30 minutes after I got that phone call, there was a knock at the door, and it was the UPS man, and he handed me this big box. and I saw on the return address it was from a friend of mine in Atlanta, and I sat down on the couch and cut it open and then just went, oh, my goodness, because there was a miniature from zero to six months mink coat in the box. My friend's husband has done extremely well. And she wrote me a note, and she said, I know you told us not to bring you gifts or send you anything for the baby because it's been so precarious. but she said, I saw this this week, and I just thought, that's for Anna Price. And she said, Lisa, I just couldn't resist, and I thought the white will represent the fact that she's innocent, that that generational sin and bondage will end with you being her mama. And I held that little coat, and I just started crying again, because I thought, nobody's ever sent me a coat. And then about 30 minutes after that, the phone rang again. I saw on caller ID, it was the adoption agency. And I thought, oh, they've forgotten something. I need to scan something and email it to them. And I said, hey. And as soon as I heard my agent's voice, I knew that was not the case because her voice was just so heavy. And she said, Lisa, I don't even know how to tell you this. But she said, the bottom has fallen out, and I don't have the legal freedom to tell y'all what happened. But I lost that baby and basically lost that little mama that I had just grown to love almost like a daughter. And it didn't end pretty. And I sat back down on the couch, and I thought, God, I can't do this. I have waited too long. My heart is too broken. You picked the wrong girl for a story like this. And I don't know how long I sat there crying, and they weren't happy tears anymore. Before my phone rang again, I saw it was my mama. And I thought, oh, good night. I don't even know how to tell my mom that I'm not going to bring Anna Price home. But as soon as I picked up the phone, my mama started talking before I started talking. And she said, baby, I so hate to ruin your celebration today. But she said, remember a couple of days ago when I told you about that ongoing bladder infection I had? And I said, yeah, I remember. I was afraid she'd be able to tell I'd been crying. And she said, well, we just got the test results back. The doctor just called me, and it's actually not a bladder infection at all. I have cancer, and it's stage four. It's metastasized into four major organs. And she said, honey, it's just not good. and she said, I need you to pray for me, and so I didn't even tell her about Anna Price at that point. I just started praying for my mom, and we're both crying. We got off the phone. I thought, I'll call her later when I'm stronger and she's stronger, and I'll tell her that she's not going to have a granddaughter. We have three grandsons in our family, but no granddaughters, and then about 30 minutes after that, my phone rang again, and it was my daddy. And my parents divorced when I was five, and I love my dad. He's a very, very gruff man. He was very abusive when I was younger, but he tendered in his old age. Really loved Jesus, who's kind of like a miniature John Wayne. And I thought, oh, good night. I don't know how to tell this to my dad. I hadn't called him yet. and told him that Anna Price was coming home. And so I thought he'll be able to tell because I don't know if I can talk. But again, he started talking, even though my dad was kind of a monosyllabic man. He started talking before I did. And he said, baby, the cancer is back. my dad successfully, we thought, had battled colon cancer for a couple of years. And he said, I just came back from the surgeon's office. And he said, honey, I need you to pray for me because he told me that it is now in both lungs. And the surgeon just gave me two months to live. And he said, it's going to be OK. I don't want you to worry about it. But I just want to tell you, she could pray. And I honestly don't remember the end of that phone call. I don't remember if I prayed for my dad or not. I just remember putting the phone down and going, God, I can't. I can't do this. this is too hard. And y'all, I heard like two words from the Lord. He said, stand. Lisa, stand and lean. I've got you. I've got this. Let me hear you. That was two weeks before I got the phone call about Missy. I named Anna Price after a woman in Luke's Gospel. If you have your Bible, we're going to look at this story pretty quickly. I named that little girl I love so much, Anna Price, because I love Anna's story in Luke chapter 2. She's one of my favorite women in Scripture, the women in Scripture who are great leaders, who are called prophetess. And Anna is one of eight or nine who are considered the great female leaders in Scripture. Her story is in Luke chapter 2, and we're going to begin here at verse 36. And I'm reading from the ESV. It may read just a hair different than your translation. And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel. By the way, the name Anna means favor. she was the daughter of Phanuel of the tribe of Asher or the tribe of Happy. She was advanced in years, having lived with her husband seven years from when she was a virgin. That means she was about 13 when she got married. Then as a widow until she was 84. So if you've done the math, most New Testament theologians think she was approximately 103. She did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day. day. So she's approximately 103 years old. She's been a widow for over eight decades. And y'all, she goes to church every single day. And the word there, worshiping, in the original language in the Greek means serving. so she went to church, and she just poured everything she had into God's purposes and God's people, so I always imagine her, you know, she's across the street from Temple. She's at the Hebrew home for retired persons, and she gets up every morning, and she pulls on her Spanx, and she pulls up her nude pantyhose and her stretchy pants, which I believe are from Jesus, and she walks across the street to Temple, And then she goes to the storeroom and she gets some linseed oil and a rag and she starts rubbing the peas. And she starts praying for the people she knows are going to be worshiping if they're Baptist on Wednesday night and Sunday morning. She just starts serving in the temple. And y'all, she does that year after year after year after year. 80. 80 plus years, she waits for her dream to come true. Her dream was, I will see the salvation of God's people. I'll see Jesus. 80 years, she persisted. She waited. You know, waiting and perseverance are not very popular terms in post-postmodern culture. I feel like they're kind of like a hot dog vendor at a vegan festival. You know, nobody's real excited about perseverance and waiting. And yet God talks about that all the time in the analogy of Scripture from cover to cover. And I'm a total cover to cover Bible girl. From cover to cover, God talks about the benefit. of waiting. I brought just a few of the verses beginning with, I waited patiently for the Lord and he turned to me and he heard my cry for help. I waited for the Lord and he heard me. The next one is Isaiah 30, 18. Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all those who wait for him. Do you know in the Hebrew what the word blessed means is happy? It means actually your joy and your ability to wait are mutually connected. Those are congruent. Your ability to stand and wait and your capacity for joy, to be happy. Those are actually congruent. Those are related. Isaiah 40, you know this one. Most of us cross-stitched it if we grew up Baptocostal. But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They were sore on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Chris quotes this all the time. The next one is in Lamentations. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times. And then I believe we have 2 Peter. 2 Peter 3, 13 and 14. But according to his promise, to God's promise, we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells. Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish. And at peace, God says, wait. If you'll wait, you'll be happy. God tells his people, I want you to stand. I'm going to do the work. I want you to stand. And then after you see the Red Sea part, he says, all right, gone now. Y'all need to move. Right after that, he tells his people, I want you to be trained in war. You have seen my providence. You have experienced my presence. I hovered over you like a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. I have provided for you everything you needed and almost everything you wanted. And so now I want y'all to raise up shields and swords to speak the word of God. You hold God's word, these promises. Y'all, this is not a textbook. This is not a rule book. This is not a collection of benign morality tales. This is a love story, and this is war. You wonder how you can fight against the crud we see going on around us? It's this right here. You hold this up as a battering ram against the lies of the enemy. Every time when I got older, I realized the enemy was saying, Lisa, you're not good enough. You're not lean enough. You're not godly enough. You say bad words around Beth Moore. You are not good enough. to be a leader or a mama. Y'all, here's the deal. When the enemy lies to us, he doesn't lie in a way that we see it coming. You know, if he said to me, Lisa, you're such an introvert with such a high metabolism, I'd be like, liar, liar, pants on fire, because I'd see it coming. That's not how he lies to us. He takes a grain of truth. He weaves it into this toxic poison, and it sounds reasonable to us. because there's just enough truth in it, usually from a really painful chapter in our lives, where we have not applied these promises. So we go, oh, that sounds right. That sounds about right. That's why when I was 40 years old, I went, oh, I probably should adopt a dog. And that's what I did, because I did not believe these promises. Y'all, this book says, wait, this book says the posture of perseverance, that's not passivity. is absolutely not passivity. That is the door to a miracle. If you will stand and go, no matter what's going on in my life, you are good and you are sovereign and you are merciful and no good thing will you withhold from him whose walk is righteous or her who often stumbles. You are good. You're going to do it, Lord. I believe you're going to do it. I may be old and wobbly, but you're going to do it because you're a good God. What are you standing for? What are you waiting for? What miracle is on the other side of your perseverance? Y'all, there's huge miracles that happen. I love the story of Anna because if you back up, you read in the middle of Luke 2 about this teenage couple named Joseph and Mary. And they bring this baby boy named Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us. Wonderful counselor. according to the book of Moses, they bring him to temple in Jerusalem when he's eight days old, because that's what the law of Moses said they had to do. It said the first male who opens the womb, in other words, the firstborn son in every family, you bring him to temple and you present him before the Lord to be consecrated to the Lord. You present him before the Lord as an eight-day old infant. So you stop and think about Anna. She's 103. and she's in the girl's bathroom, and she hears her best friend Simeon, who's also old as dirt, and he's in the temple. She hears him begin to sing, because Dr. Luke says, Simeon, this man, had also prayed the same thing Anna had prayed. Lord, don't take me home. until I see. I don't care about anything else, Yahweh. Just let me see Jesus. Let me see Jesus. Most theologians think he's in his 80s based on some other documents. So he's an old man. She's an old woman. I don't know if they dated. It would be so cool if they did. But when he sees this teenage couple walk in to temple, and Joseph is wearing a backpack from the gap, and there's pigeons squawking in the backpack because they didn't have enough money for doves to sacrifice. They had to get the scratch-and-dent version of sacrifice because they were poor. and they come walking in the temple, and he's got pigeons in his backpack, and Mary is carrying an eight-day-old baby boy, and the second Simeon sees that baby, he goes, It's Jesus. It's Jesus. he is the savior of all mankind. He begins to sing a song he's written himself. He's never sung it before. He begins to sing in temple and Anna's in the bathroom and she hears the song. And because he's old, his voice is thin and it's wobbly. And she thinks, oh, he's broken another hip. And she charges into the temple so that she can help her friend. And the second she starts running toward him down the aisle, she sees that baby. And Anna, 103 years old, we're told. And coming up at that very hour, she began to give thanks to God and to speak of him to all who were waiting. waiting for the redemption of Israel. He's here, he's here, he's here. Y'all, holding up a sword and a shield and standing. That's not the posture of passivity. That's actually the posture of power. To say, he will do it. Lord, I'll walk where you tell me to walk. And until you tell me to move, I'm going to stand here with my front to the rest of the world. And I'm going to say, my God is a great God. The two biggest miracles I've seen with my own eyes that happened in our family were on the other side of waiting, on the other side of waiting a long time. The first you know about is my baby girl, Missy. She was actually my third adoption attempt. I can't imagine life without her. She's not my hope. Jesus is my hope. But how kind that he gave me a kid who looks almost exactly like me. You know, most people can't tell she's adopted. The second miracle happened two weeks after I committed to adopt Missy. Two weeks later, my mom had major surgery. and she went in. She had a five-hour surgery, and the surgeons came out, and they said, we think we've gotten all the cancer. We believe as a result of this surgery, your mom has a really good shot at living past this, and then three days later, when she was still in the hospital, and her health was declining, the surgeons met with my sister and I again, and they said, we actually can't explain why her health is declining. but if something doesn't turn around, her numbers are getting lower and lower and lower, and even though we think we got the cancer, we also think y'all need to prepare for your mama's death, and my sister and I were keeping vigil at her bedside. They had intubated her. She wasn't speaking much. She was mostly out of it, but four days after the surgery, she opened her eyes, and she kind of whispered, I need to see your father. And my sister looked at me because our dad, our stepfather, dad Angel, had died a year before. And we thought she was just groggy from the meds, and she thought daddy was still alive. And so my sister is not as Gabby as I am, and she thinks I'm closer to mama. So she was like, it's on you. You got to tell her. And so I leaned down and I said, mama, I am so sorry that daddy died last year. I said, remember daddy? Daddy died in the hospital this time last year. And she said, not that daddy. She said, I want to see your father. I want to see Everett. You know, my mom and my dad divorced when I was five years old, and it was as ugly a divorce as I've ever been witness to. A lot of abuse, extreme anger. huge animosity. I think they had spoken maybe two sentences in 40 years. My mother and my father pretty much hated each other. And so I wasn't sure how to respond. I said, okay, mama. And I called dad. This is the daddy who had colon cancer that metastasized to lung cancer. And I said, daddy, you know, we're in the hospital with mama and she's asking for you. and he said, all right, I'll be there in an hour. My daddy comes swaggering down that hospital corridor, and I told you, he's like a mini John Wayne. He's just little, 5'7", 160 pounds, soaking wet. I got mama's jeans. She's actually little, too, but anyway. he comes swaggering down the hallway and he's, he's a quiet man, kind of a taciturn man. And he came up to my sister and I, he had called us when he got there. So we were outside mama's hospital room. And he said, I love you girls. Your mom and I need some privacy. Y'all stay out here. I'll be back in a minute. And he goes in and I turned to my sister and I said, Hey, what if he puts a pillow over it? Like, I mean, I didn't know, you know, they hadn't seen each other in years and years and years. They hated each other. And I thought, oh, crud, you know, we're going to be on Jerry Springer. And he didn't come out for about 30 minutes. And I really was concerned. We didn't know what was happening. He came out about 30 minutes later and he said, I love you girls. Your mama's going to be okay. and I'll be back here tomorrow. And he just walked away. My sister and I were like, and we walk into mom's hospital room, and y'all, she's sitting up in bed. There's color in her cheeks, and this is as close to verbatim as I remember what my mother said. She said, your father prayed for me. He anointed me with oil, and I'm going to be fine. And I was just like, I mean, I thought they've given her that medicinal pot because, I mean, I just can't even believe this. And y'all, that was April of 2012 until my father died. My daddy Harper died. January, February 13th, 2013. And until my daddy died, every single day, he and my mama talked on the phone and she saw him. They saw each other two or three times a week. It wasn't romantic. They just, they knew each other at their worst when they were kids and God redeemed their story. And I was just amazed by it that year for Christmas. I went home to Orlando and mama said, I've invited your dad to be here. And we had this big family Christmas where all my aunts, my first cousins and my uncle come in. And we were at my Aunt Darlene's house that year. And I thought, you know, mama has kind of romanticized this. And she and daddy are friends now. But I thought, our family is not going to accept daddy. Because he was mean and really abusive when I was younger. And, you know, they're protecting their sister. And so I was nervous. And daddy comes walking in. I'll never forget it, y'all. It was a few weeks before he ended up being bedridden with hospice. He comes walking in. He's still got a little bit of John Wayne swagger. But when he opened the door at my Aunt Darlene's, every single one of my aunts, my uncle, and all of my first cousins ran and greeted him like a heroic soldier returning from the war. I mean, they just, all of them lined up to hug my daddy. And I thought that that's it. That is it. I've waited 40 years. I'd stopped praying that my mama and my daddy would ever reconcile or forgive each other. And I saw it. You know, she's the very last person with my father before he died. She was holding his hand, reading the Bible to my daddy. You know, redemption happens. Some of us just have to learn to wait, to stand, to stand in the promises. He is good and he does good. And ultimately, everything will work out for our good and his glory. Well, I just love Lisa's point that waiting is not a passive thing. A person who is waiting in the Lord can take on the persona of a warrior who is standing in faith, standing with the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, and with the shield of faith, which will protect them from the fiery arrows that Satan will throw at them. That's a powerful, powerful picture. And as Lisa shared, that kind of waiting can end in miraculous answers to prayer. And if you're struggling through a season of waiting right now, please give us a call. Our friendly staff would be happy to listen to your story, pray with you, and provide you with additional resources. And if your situation warrants it, you can request a call back from one of our caring Christian counselors. It's a free service that we provide thanks to our donors. Please allow us the honor of coming alongside you in that way. And if things are going well for you right now, can I ask you to consider donating? to the efforts that focus on the family on behalf of those that are hurting. Please join with us as we bring hope to those who need it. We receive over 2,000 requests per month for consultations with our counseling team. That's a lot of people who need help. And this is your opportunity to serve them through us. And when you make a donation of any amount, we'd like to say thank you by sending you a devotional book written by Lisa Harper simply called Life. It's an exploration of redemptive moments in Scripture that prove God's grace is more than sufficient for both the massive and the minuscule things of life. On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family. I'm John Fuller inviting you back next time as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.