[Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] hello and welcome to this video I I don't really know what I'm going to say because here's the thing okay I know that a lot of people like to joke about it and be like oh my God this is so quick like look at us like but it's not funny okay it's not funny anymore and I feel like I have to say something because I'm somebody who I don't know I just it feels a little awkward to say it out loud because like I never I never even told a friend about this like girl the way that I kept this on lockdown the way that I never even told a single soul cuz I was so embarrassed because I was like I don't want them to know that I like I don't care I'm just going to say it and I'm saying in front of thousands of people I don't care okay I used to also be somebody who struggled with malale male daydreaming and I think I did it for like two two years or something like that like it was not funny it it was not funny but in the moment it's funny oh yeah in the moment it's fun because I get to escape and I don't care and it's like it's this weird rush because it's like you can escape into this world really fast but once you get out of it it's like you know it's like you settle back in but then you go again so it's like oh it's fine but then you come back again it's like this on and off thing that is just so unhealthy and I wanted to make this video because I've seen so many people online you know making videos about M to D and be like oh my God this what I do and then a lot I mean I saw a video with 12,000 comments of people being like I do this I'm doing this for years and people think that there's no help that they cannot get out of it but I'm here to tell you you can because I haven't done it for years so I'm telling you you can too um so in this video I will be speaking about that and I will be helping you guys to get out of it okay but anyways that's what I will be talking about and since clearly you haven't snapped out of it just yeah baby girl I'm going to help you but I'm not only going to help you with kindness I'm actually going to pull you out of there baby girl so you can never go back again we're going to lock the door throw away the key and though there's no extra there's no under the rock it's over normal out of the Day Dreaming after this day after this video you're done no more it's enough no more music no I'm kidding but no more okay so let's start so what's the difference between day joury and M left to day joury let's just talk about this a little bit because I'm not a doctor so don't you know get too deep on me but anyways when you're daydreaming it's basically just like oh like I got bored in class I stopped paying attention 5 minutes ago so let me think about something that's more fun so let me Daydream like oh I wish I was here I wish I was traveling there and doing this and you're just a little bit like bored so you just start going into like visualization of where you would want to be rather than where you are right for fun because you're in class and you're bored but then as soon as the bell rings or somebody calls you name you snap out of it and you go back to where you're doing you're not emotionally attached to this little fantasy you're not that was just a little like you don't even care right but when someone meds a Daydreams they are in this Daydream for excessive amount of hours and it's not like they physically hear or see things but they will live in that imagination without anything happening in the physical so they might be sitting down or moving around or going in circles or doing this or running you know just doing something that allows for their body to move at the same time and um as they daydreaming because they have to be doing something because the energy of this Daydream is so vivid and my own theory is that when you're M to daydreaming you know if you're having this big ass scenario if you're like saving the world you're running you're doing you're fighting this and that I think what happens because the subconscious has no eyes I think what happens is that energy might actually like be building up like you might be feeling the adrenaline or whatever of things that you're doing because you're imagining them so hard you really putting yourself there which you know gives the body the energy cuz the sub subconscious is like oh oh [ __ ] like we're going oh [ __ ] but like nothing is really happening so you have to be able to get the energy out which you have to do by walking or doing this or running or something like that you know so that's what I personally think that's my own Theory like I said no doctor nothing like that but my love today jyming is not a mental illness from what I have read once again not a doctor but you know it's not a mental illness it's more of a mental condition because it can be a symptom of a lot of mental illnesses or anxieties Etc because it is a coping mechanism somebody who M the Daydreams is not somebody who is very happy with what's going on in their lives because they have to escape what they're going through in this life or in this reality to be in this fantasy reality because a lot of the times in these fantasy realities they may have characters or experiences or scenarios in which they're happy or loved and the problem is you have to snap out of those uh scenarios and realize that you're happy your happiness and your love can come here too in real life in its real form it doesn't matter if you haven't experienced it yet you can experience it now and here because there's a lot of people who need you here and if feel like no there's nobody around me there's you haven't met everyone who's going to love you you haven't met the people that going to love you yet step outside and meet them and stop going into that world where you think that they are because they're not there I'm sorry I'm not going to keep my um tone up you know because I really when I read all those comments of people struggling like it actually made me feel sad because I was like that people think that there's no way of escaping this you have no idea how good things are going to get for you once you realize that these imaginary things are just that and they will never be more but you can because you are the only real thing out of all of this that you see in your mind you are the only thing that actually exists all that love that you feel that's you that's you anyways we're going to go into that don't babe I'm I'm going to help you don't worry but the thing is no matter what I say you are the only one that can help yourself nobody can come into your room snatch your phone out of your hand and make you stop listening to these edit audios or whatever nobody can do that nobody can go into your mind and rewire the way that you think and your scenarios they're already there okay they're already there and I'm not saying it's going to be the easiest thing it's not like after this you're going to be like you know what cured done let me go out to work no it's not going to be like that it's going to be hard because now you're going to have to fight the addiction now you're going to have to fight the addiction and like most things when you fight something that you've been dealing with that you don't want to be dealing with it's going to be hard so you might feel like I have to I have to I have to but when we get to the advice part of the video I'm going to help you to snap out of it but I just wanted to say what the difference was between Mel Day Dreaming and Day Dreaming so let's continue on to the next chapter before we get to the advice part I just want to mention this because if you're somebody who's been constantly M of the daydreaming for years years or months even and you're like you're having the same repeated scenarios or the same fantasy world ask yourself why why what's the deeper meaning if you're like imagining yourself saving the world or saving someone is it because you maybe want to be saved is it because you're asking for help is it because somewhere inside of you you want to be helped or you want to be seen if you're imagining yourself being a famous person or doing this this or that are you actually just living the life that you actually want maybe you want to be a singer but you're scared so what do you do instead oh let me just go into this fantasy world well nobody can see me but I can still feel some satisfaction you're not feeling [ __ ] of satisfaction because it's not actually happening and you know it's not okay so whatever you think is a little fun what think about the deeper meanings because I'm not here to make you feel bad about yourself I'm just trying to help you understand because like I said is it that you want to be seen if you're dreaming about these scenarios or imagining these scenarios of a family whatever is it because you want to feel love is it because you want to feel accepted because if so the first step is accepting yourself the first step is loving yourself I know it's not easy I know but you have to you have to start because you're going to think yourself you're going to think yourself okay trust me and it's not your fault it's not your fault that you started to MTI this is not your fault there's a difference between holding yourself accountable and you know taking responsibility but then also realizing this is not your fault okay when when a lot of things happen in the world or on social media or maybe something happened in your personal life it's no wonder you wanted to escape there's no wonder that you wanted to go into this fantasy world rather than this real life world where things are happening and sometimes they're not always good you know sometimes maybe work wasn't nice to you maybe your friends weren't nice to you maybe your family what some sometimes things happen and they make you feel not so good about yourself and that's why I'm saying it's not your fault that you chose to help yourself in this coping mechanism way of escaping but then it got out of your control and now it's enough and now it's time for you to come back here like I said where people need you where you need you most of all you your soul need you to be here okay your soul didn't come I don't know what you believe even okay but I'm just saying your soul didn't come to this Earth for you to live in a fantasy world no it came for you to experience this world this Human Experience so be here be here okay you're worthy of being here and all those you know scenarios of you being loved and hugged and being with friends that can happen for you too in a much better way because it's actually going to happen with real life people where you're actually going to feel real life love and laughter and smiles that can happen for you so now we're going to jump into the advice part okay that is you have to ask yourself how long do you think you can keep this up how long Okay a week sounds good no problems no worries but you know we got exam coming up yeah you're going to have to study for that you know yeah you're going to have to study you're going to have to put hours in oh oh I'm sorry were those hours needed for Fantasy Land that's funny because last time I checked you stopped last time I checked you stopped doing that right so no you're actually going to focus on what you need to focus on and if you're somebody who goes to work how long you where where are you going where are you going to escape I mean if you haven't got into work yet let's say maybe you're thinking how long am I going to do this imagine yourself in 10 years if you're sitting in the office okay I'm getting no shade to people who work in the office we need you but you know I'm just saying um if you're sitting there at work do you really think that you can be like sorry guys I just have like imagine if you had to say it out loud I'm not saying that to embarrass yourself but just imagine if you had to announce anything you do like let's just say okay I have to go to the bathroom guys I have to go uh to the bathroom for 5 minutes I'm just going to visualize myself getting ready like goo but I'll come right back guys don't worry I'm sorry going where where who you're going where no no no no no I'm going to get serious with the advice sorry okay anyways my gen genuine real advice right now and that is going to help you is you have to cut out the main source so whether that be music or certain songs or it audios whatever it may be you have to cut it out and I'm not saying you'll never listen to music again because like I said hello I'm a singer I make music obviously I listen to music but the thing is next time you listen to music you will actually hear the music and you will actually listen because right now you're not listening you're not you're just using it as a tool for you to get back into your little world you're not listening okay you're not even there so don't even pretend and don't even get mad you can listen to music when you're recovered and when you're better but those edit audios are going to be gone forever because the thing is when you've recovered you'll be like okay but I don't even need to listen to these anymore so unsave all of those edit audios on Tik Tok YouTube Instagram wherever you are listening to them delete them I don't care if you have to start a whole new page okay and if you're like okay but what am I going to do now I don't even have my headphones I girl you took them um well your ears probably already hurt so take your headphones out as well but what you're going to do now now that you cut out all of the distractions the thing is you have to be disciplined because it's going to be D trust especially when you're bored especially on the first day you're going to be like okay but what do I do because now you made it into a routine but now you cut that routine off so now you have to do something else so you have to like I said do something what do you like to do and you're like oh I don't know what like it's time for you to get to know yourself again it's time for you to discover who you are and who you want to be and my advice would be to start listening to positive affirmations and don't even okay don't even you have to start listening to positive affirmations about life about how good life can be for you about yourself about self- Lov and self-care because it is going to work for you even if you don't believe right now you will believe in these positive affirmations and isn't it better for you to believe in something positive than something negative hello start doing that heavy work and when I say heavy work I mean start journaling start talking about why why and how and d d like journal to yourself why these things may have occurred you know call it Shadow work do that if you want to and if you can um but what I'm saying is because you've cut out all these distractions now and you're bored again you have to do something else but something that is healthy for you that's why I said listen to positive affirmations do the healing work do the mindfulness like I'm not saying you have to you know meditate all the time but try meditating if you can't that's okay try for Just 2 minutes one minute and meditation can look in different ways maybe you are going to go on a mindful walk maybe you're just going to sit with yourself maybe you're going to allow yourself to feel and to cry allow yourself to purge out the feelings that you've been holding in okay that are actually real because it's going to be tempting for you to go back into this Fantasy Land because you've been doing it for so long and it was so fun but you know it's not fun anymore because the the as soon as you come back you're like oh [ __ ] it's not going to be like that anymore it's not going to be oh [ __ ] it's going to be oh thank God I'm here thank God I'm here not there thank God because I'm experiencing good things here and now okay so once again what we're going to do we're going to work on ourselves try picking up a hobby I don't know what I don't know what you like maybe you like to paint maybe you like to yoga dance whatever singing whatever you like to do okay try picking up a hobby try finding out what it is that you like to do and not everything has to cost money okay you can do things for free as well you can like go like for a walk go on a picnic whatever you like to do okay um um I think that's it I wanted to say more but I I'm not sure anymore okay but my main advice is for you to cut out all the distractions and be disciplined and build a new life for yourself because now you know no matter how tempted you feel to go back into the mday dream world to go back to the fantasy you know it's not real and you know the only thing that's real is you you are here right now in this moment and you need to be here for you so you can experience the life that you're meant to live you're not meant to suffer you're not meant to have all the s you're here to have a good life and I know maybe life hasn't treated you so good up until this point but things will get better okay things will get better things can get better for you you have to believe and that's why once again I said do the positive affirmations if you have um something that you believe in maybe God or Universe pray pray or try something new listen to people who talk about mindfulness switch your attention do not listen to I'm not saying don't have compassion or empathy but it's not about that right now you can't be on Tik Tok and be on sad Tik Tok and think that that's going to make you happy what do you think happens when everything that you watch on social media is sad what do you think happens when everything that you watch is drama and anger what do you think happens no you cannot do that anymore you cannot tap back into that sad energy no no no no no you're going to turn your attention away to Hopeful content to people will talk about good things to people will talk about believing in yourself and your dreams and positivity listen to new types of you know YouTubers or whatever because things will get good for you and you just need to believe in yourself and I know that it's going to be very hard right now to cut out this addiction that is you know most daydreaming but you're going to get through it you're going to be fine in a couple of months you'll be able to look back at yourself and be like thank God that one day I sat down I made that decision because it's your decision it doesn't matter how many videos you you watch about this maybe you haven't watched any but doesn't matter what I say in this video if you do not choose to believe in what I'm saying or believe in your own words who the [ __ ] is going to do anything about this is going to come in I'm sorry I'm sorry now I'm getting angry but nobody is going to come into your mind and tell you oh let me just take these thoughts away from you no nobody is coming to do that to you you have to do so to you you have to be the one that you know what enough with these thoughts you know enough with this I don't want to think like this I don't want to act like this I don't want to behave like this I want to live a good life I want to be kind to me and to others I want to live a good life you have that power it doesn't matter what I say it doesn't matter what your parents say what your friends say what you doesn't matter you matter you make the decision to pay your attention where your attention goes things grow remember that if you are like okay okay I get it I get it what I have to do what I have to do just listen just listen to yourself what do you feel like doing now You' cut out all the things that were trigging you now you're like okay what do I do what do you want to do you don't know that's fine you're going to learn about the things that you want to do because now you're going to start a time where you grow where you grow where you heal where you are with yourself okay and things are going to get better I believe in you okay I believe in you I believe in you things will get good thank you for being here thank you for listening sorry for screaming a little sorry for you know we were a bit of a roller coaster over here that's fine that's what we do thank you for being here and I hope have a really good day and I wish you luck you're going to get through this don't worry babes don't worry but you know enough is enough okay you know what I said goodbye