I'm Jenna miscavage I was born and raised in Scientology I left when I was 21 years old and wrote a book about it my Uncle David miscavage is the leader of Scientology and this is my YouTube channel hi there so today I wanted to talk about how Scientology destroyed my marriage um so just for a tiny bit of background um I was born and raised in Scientology and when I was two years old my parents joined the scientology's most core organization called the seaorg where members of it sign 1 billion-year contracts where they pledge themselves lifetime after lifetime to of servitude to Scientology and they basically only get one day off every other week they wear military uniforms and they work 60 to 100 hour weeks and um they live in church quarters and they're provided food by the church and um there's like a sort of segregation the outside world um and so I grew up in this organization as a child and when I was 18 years old I got married um people in this organization get married young because you're not allowed to have premarital sex and so um and if you do the the penalties are very very high you get assigned to What's called the RPF which is short for rehabilitation project Force which is a program that lasts a year or more sometimes it lasts even like 5 years but it's where you wear all black and you're not allowed to speak unless spoken to um you um endure five hours a day of interrogations where they're asking you about all of the things you've done bad and you essentially have to confess and um you do that while attached to a Scientology Emer this is an Emer so they attach you to this machine it's a lie detector of sorts and so and um and when you're confessing you also have to find the underlying evil purposes behind the bad things that you did because Scientology believes that there's underlying evil purposes when you do something bad and on this program you also have to do heavy manual labor the rest of the time and if you disobey or mess up you have to run laps or do push-ups and you're not allowed to have contact with your spouse other than writing them a letter and only if they write you first so so the penalties are really high so many people in this group get married as young as 15 um 16 17 18 I got married later um than most people when I was 18 um and even my my marriage was just completely out of the ordinary like when I've was allowed to get married um my parents weren't there not a single family member of mine was in attendance at the wedding I was wearing my uniform and I went back to work the very next day actually I went back to work that evening but also the next day and um so yeah that's just a little bit of background on my my marriage itself another thing that I think is probably pretty pertinent um to explain is that I um from when I was 12 years old until I was I mean until I was fully an adult I I was separated from my parents they were in California and I was in Florida 3,000 miles away I only saw them a couple of times um for a couple of hours in all of those years and from when I was six till I was 12 I hardly like so I never lived in a home with my parents I lived at a boarding school with other children of members of the sea organization um and where we did lots of heavy manual labor so I never lived with my parents and so you know so there weren't there wasn't like a tooth fairy um there there like my parents weren't there if I was sick or anything like that and so what you sort of do in the situation is that you or I guess what what I did is that I replaced my family with friends and I considered my friends to be my family and then um you know after being moved around so many times and not just for scientology's purposes they wanted me in a different position or at a different base um I would um you know not see those friends and I think that when I got married I was sort of very very much looking for a replacement for my family and so getting married was very very important to me and it was a big deal and um it um represented for me my first family that I had been missing my whole life all right so I'm going to fast forward in this story um to when I was 21 years old so at this point I've been married for 3 years um almost four and I decided that I wanted to leave this organization and the reason that I wanted to leave was because it was basically a hell hole like um we were being screamed at every day at staff meetings we the earliest we were allowed to go home to go to get sleep was midnight we weren't allowed to exercise we were not allowed any days off um we um were required to stay up many nights in a row in order to meet quotas for the organization so my ex-husband he worked in an area where they um made magazines for Scientology and um promotional materials he was a typ Setter and he was required to stay at many days in a row even sleeping under his desk some days and they were even giving people B12 shots to keep them awake as long as possible um and where I was working was in the part of the part of the organization where we were acquiring and designing new buildings for churches around the world and we were also required to stay up night after night like I would say at least three nights out of the week we were expected to pull all nighters and um it was just to get design submitted designs that would never even get looked at so it was like this big rush for nothing um basically um if you fell asleep at a like if we when we were listening to an elron hubard lecture elron hub's the founder of Scientology um if you fell asleep while we were listening to that and they would have us listen to these at like 11:00 at night you would basically be screamed at and told you had to um clean the dumpster with a toothbrush um you weren't allowed to have a cell phone or any contact with your family um unless it was via Written Letter and in my case I couldn't communicate with my family at all because they had let left Scientology and um it was just this whole culture of people being treated horribly and this was all on top of the many everyday things that Scientology already does that are just normal these were all just going above and beyond how bad it was already um that it just became too much for me like I was done with it I was routinely being interrogated and um I just I didn't take it anymore and um at the time I told my husband that I wanted to leave and he said that he would leave with me also in this the organization you're not allowed to have children and that was something he very much wanted to have and so um yeah so when I told him that I wanted to leave he said he would leave with me as long as I got through my program now basically that when you leave Scientology or the seaorg well when you leave the seaorg you have to get through a program which is basically an interrogation because they believe that if you want to leave that it's because you've done bad things to them and you are trying to remove yourself so you don't do further bad things and so you have to get an interrogation where they basically find out all the bad things you've done and then you basically have to sign a contract saying if you ever speak badly about scientology then you will pay them millions of dollars and usually while you're doing those things you're doing heavy labor and this I mean they sometimes they get people through this quickly like I've seen it happen in as short time as a month or I've seen people do this be on this routing out program for years um and so while I initially agreed that I would do that because I'd already been receiving so much interrogation and because I was just so tired of how I was being treated how people around me were being treated I just didn't want to be there anymore at all and I just did not feel like I could go through this now if you don't go through this process the stakes are actually quite High you um if you leave without completing this process you get declared a suppressive person and what that means in Scientology is basically that you're evil and um it means that no other scientologists are allowed to communicate with you that means um you know not on social media not via phone call not via email not at all you're essentially ostracized and this might not seem like a big deal if you're somebody who's joined Scientology later in life you went to regular school and had a regular upbringing but when you're somebody who was born and raised in Scientology this this is basically everybody you have ever known your entire life this also includes other members of your family so if your parents are Scientologist or your your child is a Scientologist if you want to leave the seaorg um basically and you don't want to get through this program you risk not being able to them not speaking to you ever again and in some cases where families um have like the parents are in Scientology one child is in the seaorg another child is in Scientology um if one of them decides to leave and the parent still wants to talk to that person well they have to choose between one kid and the other kid so it's really this extremely it's worse than toxic but it's a extremely toxic and controlling Dynamic and um it's just one of the many ways how that Scientology gets people to stay longer than they want to and to do and to get them to do what they want them to do um another aspect of this is that in many cases scientologists work for other scientologists or are employed by another Scientologist and um you also lose all these connections and so like me I was born and raised in Scientology so it's not just threatening my family connections all of my friends who I've ever known but also my livelihood I don't know anybody who's not a Scientologist I've never been around people who aren't scientologists so it's actually really quite scary and to compound this um basically we did not get an education as children um we got some bare bones but there was not there was no grades um I I have no high school diploma I have no GED I was only allowed to go to school one day a week from when I was 12 till I was 16 and from when I was 16 until I was 18 I was not allowed to go to school anymore even though I wanted to and I was working full-time for Scientology so just think of losing your friends family connections possibility of work and you have no education and you are under a huge threat to sign these a huge um there's so much pressure on you to sign these documents and get through the interrogation and despite that um I still couldn't do it I still could not make myself do it because I had received so many so many interrogations over the years where they basically keep you in a locked room that you are not allowed to leave and um they make you confess to things even if you say that you did not do anything and they're recording it with a video camera the entire time and I just um and this is all while you are hooked up to the eer I'm going to show it every time I say eer just so you guys can get an idea of how crazy it is like you're holding two cans and you are hooked up to this thing um and I just I just I don't know I just I had reached my breaking point I could not go through that anymore I needed to get away from it so initially my husband's said that he would leave with me but then he started um he started kind of acting weird um when I would ask him when he would come home at night from work he would I would be like so you're still leaving with me and he would be like I didn't say that and I like well you did say that and he be like well yeah I said if you get through your program and he sort of kind of started being shady and then he also was coming home later and later and I was like oh well why didn't you come home and he was like oh I was working but I could just tell that he was hiding something and um well eventually I found out that he was um basically um senior Executives in Scientology had taken it upon themselves to convince him to stay and basically um desert me and they because my uncle's the leader of Scientology I think that they saw it as a way to either get me to stay or get back at me for Le leaving or have something that they could hold over me but as it turns out they were basically um secretly meeting with him every day and they were telling him that he was not allowed to tell me this and um last year in June um 2023 some documents came out um which are basically the communication between these Executives and I wanted to read some of these to you so you guys can get an idea of how Scientology treats people and what they do behind the scenes and how they try to destroy my marriage all right let me share my screen with you okay so this document is being written to my Uncle David miscavage chairman of the board religious Technology Center and it is being written from the head um executive over the office of special Affairs and the office of special Affairs is basically the CIA of Scientology they're there to silence critics to get um intelligence that they can use against people who are speaking badly about them they just basically ruin people's lives who speak out about scientology or they try to handle them to not speak badly about scientology um yeah all right so um regarding Dallas Hill I met with Dallas and confronted him with the fact that he has parted to a serious situation with Jenna and her family I explained the track of why Jenna was allowed to stay in the seaorg now when I was 16 years old my parents left the seaorg and I was allowed to stay there and um I had actually asked to stay there because at that time I did not know anything about the outside world I didn't have any contact with regular people my entire life scient refers to regular people as WS so it's sort of like it sort of like Muggles like and um my parents were sent to live in Mexico um when they left so that nobody would find out that they had left because they are related to my uncle and it would have been bad PR if anybody found out that these previous senior Executives had left Scientology so there were sent to Mexico and my whole life i' had been taught that in out that in public schools they basically druged children and um I'd basically been indoctrinated into that and so the idea of me leaving going to Mexico leaving everyone who I knew with the parents who I hadn't seen in four years at that time and had never lived in a home with was insanely scary for me and so I begged them to let me stay um so I could still see my friends and other family members um so he says I explained the track of why was allowed to stay in the seaorg how biddy my mom came to be routed out of the seaorg and this is the reason why she was routed out she's threatening to leave after the RPF so that's the program I referred to before where you wear all black you get interrogated heavy labor for gross out Tod so my mom was on this program and the reason that she was assigned to it was because she had had an affair and instead of Scientology letting um that be between my mom M and my dad and maybe even me they take it upon themselves to assign her to this yearlong program where she's ostracized has to wear black has to do heavy labor and is interrogated and um all of this horrible stuff so um he's basically telling Dallas that um I was allowed to stay in the SE in the seaorg and my mom was routed out because she threatened to leave after the RPF after she had this affair Ronnie who's my dad being given the option of staying but going with her they actually tried to pay my mom to leave without my dad and she said no so this is how disgusting they are and how little regard they have for relationships and what happened with Sarah Sarah is my aunt who was a senior Scientology executive she was declared a suppressive person for some extremely stupid reason she's literally a very nice person I can't imagine anybody who is less of a suppressive person than my Aunt Sarah but the point that they're trying to make here is that I have three people in my family who they consider to be suppressive persons and if you're reading this and you're a Scientologist you think that what they're saying about what my mom and dad here is horrible but when you're a regular person Scientology sounds horrible or you just can't understand it because they have so many weird words um anyways he said he meaning Dallas did not know about this and was impinged upon by the facts so they're basically telling him that if he were to leave with me and we were to associate with these people we would also be declared suppressive persons and he's saying that Dallas didn't realize this I told him that Jenna is and has been doing nothing but spreading n Theta which is like upsetting news in turbulation not Co operating with people trying to handle her beating up Auditors and he Dallas is just sitting by and watching now I've actually recorded this video several times and I've just had to go through like just this it doesn't even usually happen to me when I talk about scientology but just reading these things about myself saying that I'm beating up Auditors trying to make it sound like I'm a horrible person who goes around beating people up it's just a such a disgusting twisting of the facts and they're really just willing to say anything to get people to do what they want so what this means by me beating up Auditors is that I was in a confessional or a security check an interrogation session where you're in a room where the door is locked you're not allowed to leave at all Scientology Auditors are trained to keep you in the room and phys physically bar you from leaving should you try and I was being video recorded and I told them repeatedly that I did not want to be there I wanted to use the restroom I wanted to leave and they were physically barring me from leaving and so I fought my way out of the room and this is being relayed to my husband that I beat up Auditors and so I just want to clarify that um because that saying things like this about me got to me for years and I just would be in this situation where I would have to overe explain myself and feel defensive about it and it's just so ridiculous like I shouldn't have to feel that way they're complete and utter Liars who twist the twist the truth and anyways I'm just going to continue on all right I asked if he hears a lot of n which is speaking badly about other people from Jenna from Ronnie and Biddy he they basically mean are are my mom and dad telling me bad things about scientology and he said yes I asked if he has ever written knowledge reports on this or done anything to apply standard policy to it um knowledge reports are basically reports that scientologists write on other scientologists where they snitch on each other and they're required to write these because if they don't they have the same penalty as the person doing the bad thing they're considered an accessory to the crime so this is an entire culture every Scientologist has a folder full of these reports and people write them prolifically even if it's your spouse your brother your sister your cousin your mom your dad your kid none of that matters everyone snitches on each other um so I asked if he has ever written knowledge reports on this or done anything to apply standard policy to handle it he said he last wrote KRS on her 3 years ago but didn't know sometimes what to write up how to write it up or who to write it to due to some of what she was saying basically Dallas was saying that because my parents were senior Executives he didn't know who had been previously senior Executives in Scientology he thought that it would be bad PR for him to write it up and send it to the local folders and so he wasn't sure what to do with the information when ch though he did say that he did write some reports in the past to the RTC rep who's the senior most official on the base so he did know where to send them he admitted this was true and said that he just didn't know what to do to handle and so did nothing I asked him oopsie oh okay sorry I asked him what he planned on doing if he was going to go with her and he said yes if she goes but that he was trying to handle her to stay which isn't true he was never trying to handle me to stay um but he was probably just trying to tell this lie to protect himself um so that he wasn't in trouble because the person who he's talking to in this letter is a senior executive in Scientology who spoke at international events worldwide every Scientologist would know this person by name and so it was intimidating for Dallas to be speaking to this person I told him this was BS and he was just sitting on the sidelines waiting for someone else to handle her and that he was out ethics for condoning suppressive acts I asked him what his plan was and he said to go to his own parents in San Diego and that he wouldn't go to her parents as he wanted her to remain connected up in with Scientology get handled and get back on lines I told him this was not going to happen and there is no way he's going to be allowed to put his put this onto his family's lines as this will bar them from the bridge the bridge is scientology's path to total freedom and so he's basically saying that we can't be connected with his family because they won't be able to continue with Scientology if we are he didn't get this at first I walked him through the various suppressive acts they are involved in and how it is not okay to throw this into his family's life he started to understand and got grief he started crying he said that his parents would never disconnect from him even if he said he was disconnecting from that he said that he sees Jenna is pts sorry I'm just going to go back to this basically Dallas is realizing the consequences of staying with me are that he will lose his family um or they will we will all lose Scientology he said that he sees Jenna is pts meaning instead of seeing me as a suppressive evil person he sees me as the victim of a suppressive person which is a potential trouble source and some times they believe that potential trouble sources can be mistaken for suppressive persons so he's trying to say oh well I'm really just a victim and um he doesn't think that I'm the really really the bad person um he says that he sees Jenna is pts has suppression on her lines but he doesn't know how to handle it Dallas said that he sees that Jenna's parents n to her all the time sometimes Jenna matters to them first and then that fuels their fire and they put more crap on her lines she gets gets n Theta bad news from Justin at times Justin's my brother but that the parents don't put in Theta on Dallas's lines I asked if he knew why that was he said he figured they knew he would not go effec of it I pointed out to him that Jenna obviously wants the communication line this way as she could tell them to shut up I told them what she was like when she spoke to them at the beginning after they left when my parents left the seor when I was 16 and told them that she refused to leave the Ur and was not coming with them the fact that she keeps this communication line now the way it is she has it set up listening to ening their n is her out ethics and he has been condoning the suppressive acts I asked what he planed to do about it and he again described taking Jenna to his parents and that his idea was that he could somehow sort out what to do with her there I told him this was a suppressive act he then said he had also thought about just getting her out of here that it was ridiculous that people are wasting their time trying to handle her when she doesn't want to be handled and that she should just go off somewhere and say something when she's ready to cooperate with being handled so on one hand Dallas is trying to get me off easy by saying look just give her a break and then we can come back to doing the proper route out procedure um you know when she has just like chilled out for a little bit and when she isn't so upset and angry and going through this like mental breakdown which is brought on by how horrible Scientology is and also in another way he's trying to position himself he wants to leave too and he's trying to get out but he's trying to say that it's because of me that he's leaving and that he's helping Scientology by handling me so there's two things going on here and of course well there's actually three things and he's terrified of any of it because he's afraid of losing his family and he's afraid of losing me um okay I asked him what if that was done and Jenna was kicked out and declared declared a suppressive person what would he do he got griefing and could not answer the question after some tr3 which means repeating the question over and over again he said he would not go with her and he doesn't think she will ever leave if he refuses to go with her as we went through more of this and he did conditions and studied references he became certain that he would not go with her so he when it says he conditions it means in Scientology they have certain formulas that you apply um if you are in a certain state so if you're unsure about whether or not you want to stay or leave in Scientology they have this whole formula that you have to apply where it's like find out information about the intentions of this group now find out information about the intentions of this group and which one do you like better now go to that one and so they're basically having him do that in order to decide what he was going to going to do I made it clear that he has to confront the situation and get to the point of being willing to do something to handle it and his own ethics not just sit around and watch it hoping someone else will handle like he has been doing he said the pro- survival decision would be to disconnect from her as he doesn't want to harm his family's Bridge he said he was not 100% sure and had thought that it would be bad if Jenna went to her parents and then just cause further trouble there so now he's gone from saying he wants to leave with me so he wanted to convince me to stay just saying that the right decision would be to disconnect from me all under pressure repeated questioning from this Scientology official I had him read a number of references these are all just Scientology policies um that are all about how if you leave you're bad because it means you've done bad things and the only way to help people who want to leave is to find out the bad things that they've done um so that they no longer want to remove thems from the environment but really it's just a tricky way of getting blackmail material on people when they leave um so that they don't bad Mouse scentology when they leave or using it to convince them to stay I saw him again after he read them and asked when exactly her recent blowup started he said it started about four months ago after two blowups in session with her auditor over not wanting to answer Mis withhold questions that means they asking me if I was hiding anything if I done anything bad and I got upset and wanted to leave the room and basically it says that I walked off my post and I've been at the ab which is where I live the Anthony building since this time I'm not going to read that whole um thing because it's just too much into the weeds I asked him some specific questions about The N he has been hearing from Jenna from Ronnie and Biddy he told me some Enemy Lines basically bad things that they said that Scientology considers to be things that enemies say um so my parents are enemies he told me some of the Enemy Lines he has done a full write up on this separately and I got him to confront that he is just going into agreement with these Enemy Lines by not shutting her up and this is a suppressive act now some of these Enemy Lines were things like that my Uncle David miscavage beats people in the seaorg um that actually are true it's actually something that's true and has been corroborated by many people um he understood that he is not helping her at all and he is just contributing to her worsening condition he went into grief and said that he just realized that he's not been helping her at all and he does want to handle the situation I told him that he needs to get his own ethics in as he is an integral part of the problem and has to be part of the solution Dallas readily agreed with this he was gotten to do treason so basically they told him that the way he was behaving was he was in treason to the group um so he had to do the formula for this um he was gten to do treason enemy and doubt these are all just names of Scientology conditions which they have formulas for and doubt was the one I mentioned earlier where you have to choose which group you want to be in though this is not yet complete and I sent him home as this was the time he normally goes home and I didn't want to create a situation with her me because he didn't show up they didn't want me suspecting that he was talking to other people and get a up said about it they wanted to keep that hidden and to do a full write up of the recent n that she has told him so basically get him to snitch on me I had him meter checked on whether he had omitted to include any n or black PR so a meter check is when they put you on a Scientology Emer which is their version of a lie detector and they ask you questions like if you're lying or if there's anything you didn't say and they take the meter's word for it not yours so if the if the Emer says that you are lying then you have to come up with something you lied about regardless of whether or not you actually lied about anything oopsie um whether she had spread any n to his whether he had spread any n to his family or whether I had Miss A whistled on him and he was clean on this he recognizes how serious this situation is that he's been involved in oh and that he's been involved in suppressive Acts and that he has to stop this and take responsibility for now handling the situation he has helped create he is very willing to do so and is saluting with both hands so this is just the beginning in this instance because they did it many times before getting my own husband to report on me but this just shows how they are getting him to snitch on me they're telling him that if he sides with me in anyway that he will be losing his family and they are encouraging him to basically manipulate me into staying otherwise he will suffer the consequences and this is just the beginning okay so I have another document here that I want to share but before I do I just want to re reiterate that this document um is being written and by the way this is this person who is writing this document has since left Scientology in the seaorg and has been an outspoken critic of Scientology and um so this is not throwing shade at this person at all um I'm trying to shed light on the mindset of Scientology and um and so this person um who is writing it is the head officer of the office of special Affairs the senior most official of that department but they are also somebody who had known me my entire life since I was a baby he had been best friends with my father at a point and had known my mother and father since they were young kids together in scentology um this person's son was like a brother to me in fact here we are together that's his son that's me and um my parents and his parents his dad is the one who's writing this had lived together in the seor and um so yeah I mean he knew me since I was younger than this and the person that he is writing this to is my actual uncle and so and the things that they wrote in the previous letter are all about people who like um like my uncle it's being written about his brother and his and his um sister-in-law and so there is no loyalty family doesn't matter it doesn't matter um that you've known someone since they were a kid it doesn't matter that they're like a sister to your child you just throw anyone under the bus um if you can um because Scientology comes first always all right I'm going to share this now share this screen all right here we go all right so chair of the board religious Technology Center that's my uncle WDC is just a boss of Osa office of special Affairs so this is the next day after the last one regarding Jenna and Dallas dear sir thank you for the dispatch on this and how I got off the sorry thank you for the dispatch on this and I got how off the rails my proposal was he's saying that he understands how bad his proposal was whatever it was I don't know there's absolutely no reason for this to be anything rather than a simple matter by following straightforward policy I definitely understand the idiocy of me talking to her directly and how that could rebound so apparently he had proposed to speak to me directly and um now he's saying he's an idiot for even suggesting that Kiren katano who's another important person in the office of special Affairs but is Junior to the person writing this um and she's also somebody who's just ruined so many people's lives she's a terrible person Kirsten katano can do the ethics handling with Jenna she knows that she has been operating in a squirrel fashion squirrel just means not applying Scientology policy she knows that she has been operating in a squirrel fashion with unusual Solutions and has studied the references in the last 24 hours she has been with me when I have seen Dallas and has been supervising his study meter checks Etc she does have ethics presence with Jenna ethics presence means that I'm intimidated by her and a little bit afraid which is not true I was not intimidated by her or afraid of her and basically this woman had been dealing with me every day and she was coming to see me trying to make me get my interrogation she was trying to give me the form the contract that I had to sign saying that I would pay millions of dollars to Scientology if I spoke badly about it I was not being cooperative I shredded this in her face and she had been seeing me every day but not telling me that she was talking with Dallas in private when I would ask her if she was she would liy and say she wasn't there's also a tech resource in Mick McFarland this is just an Osa guy and they wanted him to do my security check Dallas for the first time actually put some control in on Jenna last night when Jenna told him if she didn't get a SE check she would leave he told her to knock it off and stop dramatizing when she told him you're just like everyone else who thinks I have over sins and that is why I want to leave he told her that she does have overts and to knock it off when she told him that he had to come with her if she left he told her that if she was going to blow which means leave without permission or not route out standardly he absolutely was not going with her then she to then told him oh sorry my emotions are like making me read horribly anyways all right here we go she then told him it wouldn't be a big deal because they could just get through their ad to e and then he could be in communication with his parents again so a to e are the steps that you do it's step a through step e in Scientology if you want to get back in good standing with Scientology if you've been declared a suppressive person and they basically require you to admit everything that you said about scientology was wrong they require you to do hundreds of hours of amends to Scientology and they require you to um pay off um any basically if you're on staff and you take any classes or any courses which you're required to take you're required to study for two and a half hours a day um you take you don't have to pay for them when you're on staff but when you leave and if you want to get back in good standing you have to pay for all of those courses you took even though you are made to take them and even though they were training for your job you have to pay for those in order to get back in good standing with Scientology because they they want your money um and then you also have to get a interrogation which could take months um where they put you on the Scientology Emer and they ask you questions about all the bad things that you've done and you're hiding and they get a whole big package of blackmail that they can use against you in case you ever say that um Scientology did anything wrong ever and they believe that this will make you back to being a good person if you complete these steps and um yeah so those are all the things you have to do in order to get back in standing with good standing with Scientology so he said she then told him it wouldn't be a big deal because they could just get through their a to e and he could be in communication with his parents again he told her this was not okay and he would have nothing to do with it she then accused him of trying to force her to stay when she didn't want to by insisting oh sorry she then accused him of trying to force her to stay when she didn't want to insisting that she had to get SE checked he said he is not which means leaving without permission and he is not going to be declared she shut up so basically they're saying Dallas put in control on me and also you know it's interesting how they use this terminology he's not blowing leaving without permission but they say that working for Scientology is being a religious volunteer but if you leave then they hold they hold your family over you that they that you'll never be able to talk to them again and so how can somebody who is a religious volunteer get in trouble for leaving without permission that's disgusting it makes no sense he has now gotten through a thorough doubt formula as he was still waffly that if she routed out standardly he might go with her to quote ensure she doesn't create more problems so he said that Dallas was still waffling about whether or not he wanted to go with me but he was basically using the fake excuse BEC that he wanted to leave with me just so he could handle me I looked through his folder and he had a CS ser79 interview in August and bded on Jenna giving him crap okay that is a doozy it basically means that he had an interview done on him on the e- meter where they were looking to see who the suppressive person in his life was and when he mentioned my name he had a long needle reaction indicating that it was probably me and so they're saying that they really think that I'm the suppressive person in his life and um and then basically he came up with someone else's name instead of me which was wrong nothing further was done on this another indication of the patty cake off policy handlings that have been being done until he started confronting the scene with her yesterday and is now moving up from Total effect wimp to some level of cause total effect wimp wow and now he has done a very thorough doubt formula really confronting what is and isn't survival across his Dynamics he doesn't want to leave this the seor under any circumstances and he does not want to jeopardize his line to his family these are very strong and what he had to overcome was the idea of losing Jenna as a 2d just as his wife so he's saying they're saying he actually does want to do thing the right he really does want to do the right thing by staying he just had to overcome this little idea of oh you know his wife um when he actually did the formula he came to the right conclusion and he didn't brush it off the Simplicity then is as follows one Dallas stays in the SE under any circumstances now that he has done his doubt formula two Jenna is seen by Kiren and the following is done a she is told to talk she is told to knock off her n and suppressive acts and is given the references including the leaving and leaves PL suppressive acts PL and blow-offs these are pl's for policy letter and these are policy letters written by elron hubard and they talk about how if you leave you're bad but this one leaving and leaves is basically a whole policy about how if you want to leave Scientology or the seaorg and you tell somebody including your spouse which is is which is what they're referring to right here then it is a suppressive act for which you can be declared a suppressive person and you can be ostracized and never see your friends family or anything like that again so they're trying to say that it is a suppressive Act that I communicated to my spouse that I wanted to leave B she is informed that Dallas is not leaving this Dallas is not leaving the seaorg by Dallas with the MAA present so he can't tell me just himself there has to be oh a ma ma is a Master at Arms and it's somebody who is responsible for making sure people are ethical in Scientology so he has to be basically with this person when he tells me this she has made her choice he isn't an agre agreement with it and he won't leave Theo under any circumstances just like she wouldn't leave when her parents did C put her into a standard leaving staff writing form and move her out of their 2D birthing so basically saying me and Dallas can't live together anymore and they want to put me on the routing form where I have to sign the paper and do the interrogation D get her in session with Mick McFarland to pull her withholds basically get the interrogation done once she completes the SEC check which is the interrogation and routing form line up a job and somewhere for her to stay not in Clear Water or La if she doesn't want to go with Ronnie and bidy so basically they're saying that even if I do complete all the steps I'm supposed to do I'm still and I'm still even if I do all that in in order to be a good Scientologist I still am not allowed to live in LA or clear water which is even that is against Scientology rules Scientology rules themselves like that's even taking it a step farther to further penalize me um four conditional if she begs to if she begs to say she is placed under a non-int turbulation order which means that if I say one more bad thing about scientology then I'll get declared a suppressive person posted at the bottom of the org board to work her way up in CEO anzo which is in Australia so they want to send me Halfway Around the World to be posted at the bottom of the organization starting as a cleaner in Estates if Dallas wants to go with her her he can be posted in desm which is basically where he can do type setting in Australia and if she doesn't want to agree to these conditions then she just completes her routing out if she does stay she calls Ronnie and bidy and informs them that she decided to stay in the seaorg and has begged to be able to do so after she was being routed out and that she doesn't want any more n or disaffection from them on her lines as she is a seor member so basically if I beg to stay I'm going to get posted as a cleaner in Australia and I have to tell my parents that they can't tell me anything bad about the sear Scientology and basically it means I can't talk to them because they're trying to take away my cell phone and I have no other way of communicating to them internet at the time in the sorg was we weren't allowed to have a personal computer and basically the only computer we had access to was in a locked room and you had to get special approval through the office of special Affairs in order to access it and there was a camera in that room so taking away my phone um basically means that I'm unable to have any contact with my parents except for letters and for the last let's see I got there when I was 16 so for the last five years where I had been in La after my parents left every letter that I received from them was pre-opened and was given to me by a senior official on the base and so any letter that I got from them was completely monitored and I was not even allow owed to answer the phones on the base in case it was them calling me and um in order to call out from the base you had to have a special code which had to be approved so basically I wouldn't have any contact with my parents so basically either Dallas had to disconnect from his family or I had to disconnect from mine and of course it was a lot easier for me to do that because I'd already been disconnected from my family half my life and so um where for Dallas that was the end of the world five get Dallas through his tailor made SE check and complete pts handling so he doesn't ever go eff of her again um by the way sorry that I'm like kind of angry about this today I was really upset about it yesterday when I recorded this video earlier so I think I'm graduating from being like crying about it to basically being angry about it so I guess I guess that's better all right so what wound up happening at this point was that um I decided to leave on my own and um because I just couldn't go through with another interrogation I had been being put through them since I was about 12 years old and um I'd had about 25 of them um up until that point and I just was not in a mental state where I could endure um being locked in a room attached to an Emer not be being able to leave and being videoed um ever again um so I was like okay I'm going to go I'm going to go um live with my parents in Virginia and I was very sad because um Dallas was to me the only family that I had and um so they were taking me to the airport and I was packing and they said that Dallas um would just have to come and say goodbye and then basically we asked if he could at least take me to the airport and they were like no and then he said well I'm going to anyways and so then the gal from Osa kirs and katano insisted on being there with us she would not leave us alone um we went to get a bite to eat before we went to the airport which normally Sy members aren't allowed to do but I was leaving and she sat there the entire time she listened to everything we said she wouldn't give us any space whatsoever and basically um at the airport I told Dallas that um I did not want to leave and that I would stay um if he if it meant that I could still be with him and it was because at that point I remembered that there was something that another senior official had said to me which was basically like you know we basically don't care about Dallas without you when if you're gone he can just be thrown to the Sharks and so I was basically worried about what was going to wind up happening to him and so I said I would stay which I sort of felt like if I had a little bit longer with him and I was pretending to be good then I could get him to leave with me and basically once I told him that he started crying and he told me basically that they hadd been meeting with him in secret telling him bad things about my family telling him that he would lose his family and um basically just everything that had been going on came out um who he'd been talking to and again this was surprising because it was people who I known my whole life and um basically then I we told Kirsten that we wanted to stay and I was sort of making a scene at the airport when she wouldn't give us any space I was like leave us alone I'm with my spouse I'm allowed to talk to him privately and because it looked bad on Scientology for me to be yelling that she stepped away because she was in uniform and so um we said we were going to stay they said you guys can't stay and they said you guys need to be separated and Dallas said no and then basically um they said all right well then you both have to leave and this was great for me and it was great because Dallas was like well you're not letting us do what what Scientology says we can do and so you guys are bad so now I have no choice but to leave so he was now on board with leaving with me and then we went that night they said we could not go back to our room and get our stuff which is actually illegal and um we stayed that night at the travel lodge and when we woke up in the morning the security Chief was there and he basically had a U-Haul of all of our stuff with the most meticulous inventory of every single thing that was in the truck there were a few things missing like certain scient Scientology policies but this basically means that they went through all of our stuff to make sure of what we were and weren't taking with us so like there are photos that I had that I um I've never seen sense um and it was just really weird and creepy and then they basically the security Chief told Dallas he said I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you never speak to your family again and then we drove down to San Diego and basically apparently they thought that we were going to Virginia um because that's where the U-Haul was booked to but instead we went to Dallas's parents house and when we got there um we were well received by his mom but his dad was really worried about his status within Scientology and what this meant for him um so we told both of them everything that we'd been going through the conditions of the seaorg what had been going on with us um the past few years how Dallas had been interrogated in a basement and I had we just told him everything that was going on all of the abuses that that David miscavage was beating people that um all of the all of the Terrible Things the forced abortions the lack of Education the manual labor as children and basically Dallas's dad still wanted us to go work things out with Scientology and and um yeah he pretty much immediately um started speaking to to them and they contacted him and um I have another document um here which I want to share with you that is also again from the chief of the office of special Affairs and it is to um a senior executive in Scientology um to my uncle okay let's see so this is from after we left and it is just um like a few days later so um regarding Hills handling Dear Sir situation a standard on policy handling is needed for Jenna and Dallas to deal with them and those that are in contact with them so they don't create any inter turbulation upset or disaffection you asked what the lie was on Dallas and it was that he was not a handled partic though I said he was handled particle just particle just means an individual and he should not have gone with jenet to pack or go to the airport I didn't confront how completely under her spell he had been and how quickly he would fall back under it I was delusory wanting to believe that once he had told her he wasn't going with her on his own origination he was not going to crash and burn immediately we have gotten data on the present time scene from Dallas's father Gary Hill so he's reporting on us he in he was initially spoken to by the director of special Affairs who's the Osa representative locally in San Diego and he told the DSA that he would not discuss anything about Jenna andalis with him as it was a seaorg matter and not a regular Scientology Church matter Kirsten then called him he took her call at once and immediately got in calm with her he immediately started openly speaking with her he respects her from when she handled his brother uh Gary Dallas's dad's brother was looking at anti-scientology things on the internet and he had to be interrogated um about this and it says in another document that Gary wrote oh actually no that's another thing okay he said that Jenna and Dallas told him that they had left the seog because they could not stay under the conditions that were presented to them and that they had wanted to stay the way he made it sound it like they had almost said they were kicked out they had said they were told they were getting a comv but since they had not heard anything about it but since then they had not heard anything about it Gary said that he sorry a comv is like a court Marshal in Scientology Gary said that he didn't understand what they told him or what their status was and told them to write it up he said he hadn't spoken about it or he hadn't spoken to anyone about it Gary told them they had seven to 10 days to chill out write up their situation and overs and withholds overts and withholds basically means we need to confess by writing down the bad things we' done on paper he said that he had to 8 C which means Force repeatedly or repeatedly insist that someone does something he says that he had to a c and nudge them to write this up but they still weren't complete Jenna and Dallas have not talked about their situation since the initial conversations when they arrived in San Diego and haven't mentioned wanting to return to the seor since then he put them to work in his jewelry shop to get sorry he put them to work in his jewelry shop to get them producing something as they had just been sitting around their house so basically upon um basically upon un-brainwash myself as a 21-year-old who has been born and raised in Scientology and I leave and I go to see somebody and the first thing they do is is want me to write up all the bad things that I've done and they get back in contact with Scientology and then they say that he he wants us to get to work even though I've essentially been working 100h hour weeks since I was 12 years old I'm just saying this to communicate how after being told all of the horrible things that has happened to his son how little empathy people have for their actual family members and how little they care for terrible things that are done to them when in Scientology and how this environment for someone to leave Scientology into is about as bad as it gets well I guess there's actually many other environments that are worse some people wind up homeless so thankfully I didn't have that Gary didn't ask many questions and is in a Gary has not spoken to anyone about this and told the director of special Affairs in San Diego that he would not talk to him about it as it's not something that belonged on regular org lines he also said that he wants to go back to flag which is scientology's senior most service organization he wanted to go back to flag shortly to do ot6 um so that's one of scientology's highest levels so he wants to go back and do this services and me and Dallas are endangering that the key reference that apply in these circumstances are attached and are what I'm following to accomplish the following a correctly labeling Jenna and Dallas B informing those who are onlines of their status in writing so there is no mystery or lack of clarity c not creating a document that could be used against us so normally in Scientology if someone is declared a suppressive person they have to issue a document that says all of the reasons why they're being declared and um but he is trying to do this in a way so that it doesn't get used against them which is really ironic because now we have this um I reviewed all the pros of cons of different potential handlings for Jenna and Dallas theyve committed suppressive acts Beyond violating leaving and Le's policy letter which means telling my spouse that I wanted to leave Jenna threatened to go to the authorities I did threaten to go to the authorities when they were threatening to take my phone away from me without my permission which would take me out of cont with the only family I was in contact with and my only access to the outside world she threatened to commit suicide this is something that happened years before when they separated me and Dallas put him in a basement and basically I after so many years of being this is after my parents left I had no one I had nothing and that is something that I threatened to do I don't know how that's a suppressive act against Scientology um but I was 17 years old when that happened and I was born and raised in Scientology and that was the state that um living my life there had led up to and that is a product of their actions and somebody who they raised she chewed up Auditors and physically assaulted them and other staff we went over this before there was no other staff that were physically assaulted she was mutinous and refused to work and Dallas is an accessory to them my crimes as covered in the knowledge reports policy letter per policy they should be declared declared suppressive persons and it is a standard and normal thing to do and they should be treated exactly in alignment with this policy and then he basically um talks about this policy written by Elon hubard that says um that basically tells someone that they're declared and the actions that they need to take to get back in good standing he says he thinks it's a good idea to send this because it's very compassionate and therefore would be unus unusable to attack them while totally dead agenting which means discrediting the guy and making clear that he had to do the steps a to e in order to get back in good standing so this is that policy okay how to handle Gary and Gail Hill that's Dallas's parents before the letters are sent out a project will go to San Diego and pull in Gary Hill and brief him on what happened with Jenna and Dallas so he understands this will be Ryan Boswell who's the security Chief and Joan disin who's an Osa um auditor who does Security checks interrogations on people Joan has a very good line with him as she SE checked his brother while she was read when he was reading the internet and handled him and Gary wrote a commodation on her so she interrogated Gary's brother and Gary wrote a commendation which is a letter saying how great she did they will explain the history and suppressive acts suppressive person acts covered in the letters and go over the policy on leaving and leaves and suppressive acts and the fact that they meaning me and Dallas must be labeled and they have been given more than reasonable time to return or get in contact with the church so on one hand they're saying that we left without permission and then on another hand they're saying that they kicked us out and which is what they say in the committee of evidence that eventually got issued they have committed suppressive acts and they're going to be declared per policy he is going to have to disconnect from them so they're saying that right here that Dallas's dad is going to have to disconnect from us until they complete their steps a to e they will go over the policy with him then handle the mother in the same way tell them Jenna and Dallas are going to have their letters delivered and then they're going to have to arrange to get them out of the house and business right away just per the policy quoted above so basically we're going to get kicked out of our house and we're going to get um kicked out of our job and um we have no connections we're not allowed to speak to any Scientologist we're just going to get kicked out Jenna and Dallas will go to Virginia where my parents are if they don't it's fine as long as they don't go to any Scientologist and good standing even if we went to the trouble of setting them up with a job and they could get them and we could get them to agree to do it they would likely Blow from it leave from it very quickly as they want a free ride they would ultimately end up in Virginia Ronnie and Biddy will not be upset about Jenna and Dallas coming to Virginia Ronnie and Biddy were happy for both Jenna and Dallas to come earlier when Jenna was threatening to leave with the line cut to Dallas's family there won't be any way for any ner to get to them solution send Boswell and Joan disin to San Diego to brief Gary on what happened with Jenna and Dallas and the policy that they have not returned we've not returned to Scientology and must be labeled suppressive and cover the acts of Jenna that are in the letter handle him so he disconnects from them and then handle his wife so this is literally an admission of Scientology senior Executives saying that they are going to handle somebody's parents Dallas is 25 at this time to disconnect from their own son kick him out of the house and kick him out of his job send the attached two letters delivered to Jenna and Dallas right after the parents have been briefed and handled Boswell and Joan to stay in San Diego until they know the cycle is done they have to be gotten out of the house and business and disconnected from the family so the situation where Dallas's parents were uh regularly reporting on us to Scientology giving them information about us went on for many more years and um it really um created a huge divide um in the family and um made it very hard to be happy after leaving Scientology and to get on with life and um it really just led to even after they were out of Scientology them me sort of being treated passive aggressively as like as if I was like the black sheep in the family um even though Scientology fired them for their jobs and they eventually did not disconnect from us but um threatened to many times even though were being followed by Scientology even though Scientology was inserting spies into our life even though Scientology cut uh me and Dallas off from many people even though we tried to tell them all of the horrible things that Scientology had done to people um and it just um built this whole sort of tension around Dallas choosing Scientology or his family over me um that just never really went away um so for a while when we left Dallas wanted to pay our freeloader debt and get back onlines in Scientology and um your freeloader debt is when you pay for all the courses you've done and Dallas's dad you know insisted that we go back and get a committee of evidence which I did but to be honest it was only after crying for like several days and begging Dallas not to make me do that and him begging me to do that so that his family could be together and it was completely destructive for my mental health to have to go back and do that and um just all of the times that Scientology got Dallas to tell on me that um you know he didn't tell me about these things which again is understandable like I'm not it's him being put in this terrible position as somebody who loves his family so much um but it's just that trust um never never could be fully repaired and in the end it is because of a difference in our values and just you know Trauma from being there but um I just I just wanted to tell the story um because Scientology just made it so hard for us to be married for us to be loyal to each other for us to have happy times together and even when we were gone they still just did their darnest to make life hell for us into so issues um upset within the family that um just after so many years of it became impossible to recover from and um honestly that is how Scientology destroyed my marriage it's taken me many many years to sort of think all of these things through and to even see all of the um destruction that Scientology had basically groomed me to normal I since I was a really young child and how far these how far reaching the effects of this are in my life and I do feel happy to be on the other side of this and I do have a good relationship with my ex-husband um but I still think that this is an important story to tell and it's important for me to show these documents because it's Scientology in their own words and its actual receipts and proof um so I hope that was informative for you guys and I hope that this can help somebody who's in Scientology get out and or at least help um dissuade anyone else from joining Scientology all right guys well that's all I got for today um please check out sins of Scientology on YouTube um they have so many different stories that they tell that tell there about scientology's abuses and they tell them so well and thoroughly um also if you have not already read my book you can find it on Amazon and it is called beyond belief my secret life inside Scientology and my heroing Escape all right guys have a great day and I will see you again soon bye