Repressed and Suppressed Memories Hello there. Today I'm gonna to talk to you about
repressed or suppressed memory. Regression therapy
has been the cornerstone of healing from past Trauma
for thousands of years. Regression therapy
is any therapy technique that allows you
to revisit a past experience that is the core or the root of your current issues
or problems in life. Basically, the idea is, by revisiting this past experience and finding resolution with it, you will see a transformation, a healing or an integration
of that experience so that you can now
be fully in the present moment and make what was,
a part of who you are currently. Regression therapy has been
a cornerstone of healing because it works. Regression therapy dug up this concept of repressed or suppressed memory. I'm gonna be using these terms
interchangeably. And I'm probably gonna be
titling this video "Suppressed Memory", because the only distinction between
repressed and suppressed memory is that the psychology community
sees a repressed memory as something that is
unconsciously suppressed, and a suppressed memory as something that is
consciously suppressed. I'm not going to
make much of a distinction. Long story short, once repressed memory became a craze in the psychology community and especially in the courtroom, suddenly the Media was ablaze with this concept of suppressed
or repressed memory and also, false memory. This in turn, made the topic
of suppressed and repressed memory and recovered memory and false memory super controversial. A suppressed memory occurs when in a situation
where the stress levels are high or when you experience something that doesn't fit within the context
of your current reality construct, that memory, the entire experience, is suppressed completely
to the subconscious mind, so that you have no ability
to recall that memory at all. Even though this memory
affects you on a conscious level, you have no ability to recall
the specific memory. Believe it or not, some people in the psychology
and the spiritual community still debate over the concept
of suppress and repress memory. I am completely on the side,
if you can't tell, of suppress and repress memory. I don't think that it's a matter of
"is it real or is it not real?", I think all people actually suffer
from repressed memory. They just don't know it. The question isn't whether or not
someone has suppressed memory, the question is "to what degree". Anytime you do regression work, you will recover aspects of your memory that you completely forgot. Maybe it's a best friend you had
back when you were in kindergarten, you're like "Wow, I can't believe
I totally forgot that person"... Maybe it's the color of the carpet in your bedroom floor
when you were a child, maybe it's an entire memory
that you're like: "Wow, gosh, yeah,
I completely forgot that. Now I'm completely remembering
why I was in that place at that time, or why I didn't like that person." This doesn't challenge us. We only become concerned
with repressed memory when we start to recall a memory that challenges our current reality. In other words,
when we recover these more benign repressed memories
or suppressed memories, we usually have a feeling of: "Wow! I can't believe
I completely forgot about that". We don't question
whether that memory is real or not, because it doesn't conflict
with our current reality or the narrative of our life. We only begin to question
the suppressed aspects of our memories when the memories that surface
or the elements of those memories negatively challenged our current reality
and the narrative of our life. To understand more
about suppressed memory, you have to understand more about trauma. Now, it's easy to think that trauma is all about really big events; Things like car crashes
and deaths in the family, but trauma simply put, is any experience, emotionally or mentally or physically
or all of the above... that put us into a state of distress. When the body is put
into a state of distress, it has some pretty interesting mechanisms that kick into place, that allow it to cope. A trauma is not necessarily
a veritable tragedy. For example, to be born in the mainstream
medical facilities and hospitals today is traumatic. That's a trauma. To be weaned from the breast,
is traumatic. That's a trauma. So you are not going to find
people walking the planet today that haven't experienced trauma. The question is, "to what degree?" With this broad spectrum of trauma you can see that even
the best parents on the planet today are not fully capable of raising a child in a way where that child
never encounters any trauma whatsoever. Also, be aware that what might
seem like a somewhat minor trauma, such as childhood disappointment, does not feel minor
when you're experiencing it and it can very well throw the body
into this coping mechanism where it seeks to suppress that memory because it can't integrate it
with its current reality. Now, it might be tempting to think
that the human mind could never ever forget
something super traumatic. This is true up to a point. When someone of any age experiences an event
that is emotionally traumatizing and they have no way to integrate
the event into their conscious life for a multitude of potential reasons, they can't make it a part
of their personal narrative. When this happens,
for the sake of their emotional survival the person often
entirely suppresses the memory or the aspect of memory. The memory is then
dissociated from the self and stored in a fragmented way. Let me explain what I mean by fragmented: The mind loves to recognize patterns, it loves to put things
in pretty little neat compartments, and so, oftentimes when we
experience a traumatic memory, the brain store it in a fragmented way. Meaning, your smell aspect of memory, is stored separate from
the sight aspect of memory, is stored separate from
the emotional aspect of memory, is stored separately from
the sound aspect of memory... And so, when it comes back, it comes back in a flashy fragmented way where often, you get only the emotion, but none of the visuals... Or only the visuals, like a flashback, and none of the emotion. This is part of why retrieving memory
is so incredibly confusing. This is where triggers start to happen. Because certain aspects of Memory are allowed to stay more available,
let's say, to the conscious mind, whereas others are stored more deeply. So, emotions tend to be the thing that is stored the most close
to the conscious mind. And when we're dealing with triggers in the spiritual
or the psychological community, we're dealing with this. So, let's say that
a little girl sexually abused, and that experience
was so incredibly threatening that she suppressed the memory
of the entire event. But, let's say one day at age 30 she's like, walking down
the grocery store aisle and she passes the deodorant aisle. And the deodorant that she smells is the exact same one
that her abuser was wearing the very day that she was abused or raped. She will immediately go into a trigger. She will recall the emotional aspect
of that memory, but with no context. It's not, maybe going to come back
with the visual aspect of memory, she's not gonna know why
she's feeling that way, in fact, she's probably
gonna feel like she's going crazy. The smell of the deodorant brings back the terror of the memory. But because the person doesn't
consciously recall the whole memory, they don't recognize the trigger. The wave of nausea or panic or terror seems to have come "out of the blue". And because this reaction
seems so completely random, this person has no idea that what's happening is actually
the result of a repressed memory. It serves the mind to dissociate when it experiences something traumatic. I need to explain this concept
because it's important to understand. A dissociative state
is a psychological state when someone separates from an experience. In this way, dissociation
is a defense mechanism or a coping mechanism
that enables us to avoid unpleasant experiences. There are, of course,
mild and severe forms of it. Dissociation, just like trauma, can be seen on a kind of spectrum. On the far side of dissociation,
let's say the lighter side, you've got somebody
who's just daydreaming instead of really participating
in what they're experiencing in the present moment. On the complete other side of dissociation you've got dissociative identity disorder, where a person removes themselves
to such a degree, that they become convinced
that they themselves are not actually the one
going through the experience. This is sometimes seen when someone
has experienced ritual abuse, sexual abuse, or the ravages of war. If we understand dissociation
on a spectrum where to one side we have somebody potentially dissociating from
or rejecting their of anger and on another side,
completely disidentifying from themselves as a person
in the moment of trauma, what we have to understand
is that it creates a very severe rift within the person. I should say, a spectrum of severity. So, it's all splitting. And we can, in a traumatic experience, split multiple times. But some of those splits are very severe, like a grand canyon type of rift between the conscious
and the subconscious, other times they're,
let's say, like a crack. If you dissociate from an experience you don't have to endure
the discomfort or the distress that that experience
is putting you through. You can bury it in the subconscious, and you can go on with your life. This is a really great coping mechanism, because if you can't integrate
some trauma you're experiencing into your life, what the hell are you supposed to do? You choose to either move on
despite the fact that you're fractured, or, you don't move on at all. You get sick,
and you ultimately end up dying. So, basically, let's say
that you're a little kid and your dad starts to molest you, but you have to live with this guy. Does it really serve you
to spend all of your time in distress? Or does it serve the mind
to dissociate from that aspect, and in fact, start to live a double life? Where you've got
one relationship with daddy, and another relationship with daddy, and the two aspects of your mind
don't interact with each other. A lot of times,
trauma causes cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is not something which we have the capacity,
most people, I should say, have the capacity to live with. And so, what we need to do is to get out of cognitive dissonance
as fast as we possibly can. This splitting or this dissociating
(repressing memories) allows us to get rid of
that cognitive dissonance. In essence, the cognitive dissonance associated with "living with the monster"
in the previous scenario, is so great, that you actually
cannot go on living in that atmosphere of that much terror. So, by suppressing
the memory of the abuse, you maintain your attachment
to the adult who's abusing you, and thus, you ensure your own survival. As you work through regression therapy you may well recover many memories
you have forgotten and additional details about memories
you already consciously remember. Some of these memories, not challenge your sense of reality
or personal narrative, others will. It's at this point
that I would like to remind you that as much as I'd love to escape it,
in my past I was Inducted into a cult. That cult group actually programs children to suppress memory. If suppressed memory
was not a reality of the human mind groups like this would not bother to use that function to their advantage, to cause people to suppress memories that don't benefit them
for people to remember. So here's something important
to understand though: When we suppress memory
it doesn't just disappear. And often, to the degree that we get safe, and to the degree that our being
registers that we're capable, or in the right place
to become whole again, those suppressed or repress memories begin to surface in small ways. It's sort of like it begins to bubble
and break the surface calm. And suddenly... you're starting to get flashbacks. Suddenly you have no idea why, you're starting have emotional issues. Or else, even though you're doing
all kinds of positive focus exercises, your external life
continues to remain problematic. To acknowledge a suppressed memory you will bring up
the same fear of rejection that you suppressed earlier in your life. You may well feel like you're gonna die. If the memories that arise challenge your reality
or personal narrative, instead of feeling relieved
when they come up, you will most likely
feel complete self-doubt. You will have a conflict
within your being about whether these memories
are real or not. And if you share these memories with people whose sense of reality
is challenged by these memories, or whom directly want you
to have forgotten them, you can expect serious resistance. You can expect for
people not to believe you, to turn against you, and for all those who participate
in your regression therapy, most especially the therapist
himself or herself, to be turned against. In many of my previous videos I have revisited this idea that the process of socialization which is a process that all people who are alive in today's society
go through, is the process of splitting the self into
the consciousness and the Subconscious. We all were taught that there are
some things which are acceptable, and some things that are unacceptable, and so we have to dissociate from the aspects of us
that are unacceptable, and only own or become conscious of,
remain conscious of the aspects of ourselves
that are acceptable, that we can assume into the story of our sense of self. Memories are no different. They are a part of this process. If you cannot integrate it
into who you are, if it's not acceptable to do so based on the social group
you're around, that thing is going to be repressed. Here's the thing though. It benefits the universe
for you to be in the state of wholeness. In fact, as you become split, you will give rise
to the desire to become whole. And so, you will be given
every single opportunity that you can possibly imagine,
to reintegrate. To close that vast gap between the conscious
and the subconscious mind. You will be given every opportunity
to become whole again. But in order to return to wholeness, you need to see and accept
the aspects of yourself including memories that were rejected
and suppressed along the way. I know firsthand
that this is really painful. Self-awareness does not come naturally
to those who avoid pain, because to become aware
of these lost aspects you must stop trying to escape
from the emptiness within you where those missing parts
and missing memories should be. But essentially, I'm gonna tell you today that suppress and repress a memory is absolutely a reality
of our human minds. It's a reality of our existence. And to the degree that we deny this, we allow that gap between the conscious
and subconscious mind, to remain. We are ultimately
doing damage to ourselves, and damage to many people in our lives who need us to accept
that suppressed and repressed memory is a reality of our existence
as humans on earth. Have a good week. Join the volunteer subtitle group on Facebook
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