Anti-aging guru Brian Johnson injected his face with fat and it went wrong now he's got handsome Squidward build I've been following Brian Johnson for a bit Hadn't seen anything new from him for like the last month or so. No, I guess it is real. Holy Wow That actually looks like when I make goof juice in my Dark Souls playthroughs He injected his face with fat-derived extracellular matrix. Selfies uploaded this week to his Instagram show his face progressively getting puffier and puffier, resulting in a bizarre and swollen visage straight out of the 2024 horror sci-fi flick The Substance.
My biomarkers were improving, but I looked gaunt. People thought I was on the brink of death. That doesn't bode well for the anti-aging protocol and the 600 pills that he takes every four hours.
But after starting what he called Project Baby Face, which involved injecting donor fat, his face began to blow up. And then it got worse and worse until I couldn't even see. It was a severe allergic reaction. In another recent bid to turn back the clock on his body, Johnson underwent a procedure called Total Plasma Exchange.
Oh yeah, I remember that. And an alleged attempt to remove all unnatural pollutants from his blood. Some of you have probably seen his work before without realizing who he is. He's the guy who had his son donating his blood and plasma to him so he'd have younger blood and plasma. And then he was donating his blood and plasma to his dad.
So he had like this human centipede of blood and plasma from his family tree. His whole thing is like he's spending millions of dollars a year to try and figure out how to de-age. And I've said from the beginning, it's weird.
he's wacky he's creepy he looks vampiric but if he actually has any kind of scientific breakthroughs that's just good for the world and he's openly publishing all of his findings so kind of a w tough l on this one here though with project baby face unfortunately got him out of the oblivion character creator but i'm sure he'll keep trying he's just beta testing for the whole world he's just yeah he's just like a guinea pig for all of it Click the link that says uploaded this week to see the unfiltered. Okay. Was that edited?
Let's see. Oh, oh, wow. So it's not as red. Why even put the filter on there? It's still the same, but at least it's not as red.
I don't see the point of the filter. But man, that facial structure. Actual handsome Squidward.
He did it. Has anything new even been found through his experiments? Now, I haven't seen any evidence to suggest that his experiments have led to some kind of scientific revolution.
You know, he hasn't fucking discovered cold fusion here by injecting eucalyptus oil into each butt cheek every morning or anything. There have been some interesting findings that he has published. All of this is for free, by the way, which is why I think what he's doing is actually pretty cool. He's going through... So much experimentation, trying so many different things, and publishing all of the results, like, openly available to anyone who wants to see them.
And sometimes, some of his experiments are really wacky. Such as this one, where he's de-aging his penis, talking about how he has the erection of an 18-year-old. That's pretty odd.
That elicits a fart from me, for sure. Actually, even a double. And you know what? That was so good, I think I'll have it a third time.
Man, my ass is talking some serious shit right now. Point is, I don't know if he's actually had any, like, crazy breakthroughs with this, but it is still interesting nonetheless. But yeah, that video where he's looking for the fountain of youth for his wiener, definitely on the weirder side of things for sure. But just, let's picture that for a moment. Let's say he's like completely successful, but only with that.
He finds the perfect formula to lock your cock in stasis as like a 20 year old's member. But everything else doesn't work. So Brian Johnson ends up like 90 years old.
He's like rotting away, decaying, his skin's all wrinkly and shit. But he's got a pristine dick. Like he's got the fucking optimal hog.
Who's allowing this to happen? Are there no laws to prevent these experiments? What would the law be?
I mean, he's willing. I think he should be well within his rights to do whatever he wants to himself in his own home. The man is like, he's worth like $600 million. He sold like a tech company and he's dedicated his life to just researching how to make yourself de-age and be healthier.
He's not using unethical experiments on anyone. The only two people I know of that he's ever even done experiments on are his son and his dad. Both of which wanted to participate in the experiments.
Look at a photo of him from 2015. He looks unrecognizable. I can't remember what he looked like in 2015, but I do. He did have like a like a substantial change doing this.
Yeah, it is like a totally different person. Actually looks like some kind of Detroit become human thing. He should really go back to the beard. The beard actually just made him look younger. Probably can't grow one now.
No, I'm sure he can. I don't think he like fried his hair follicles or anything with his like daily red light therapy or anything. He aged too far back he can't.
He's biologically a six-year-old. His facial hair can't come in now. I mean, I guess you could argue he does because his skin looks so much smoother, but he looks more plastic. I wouldn't necessarily say he looks that much younger, but he looks much more plastic.
Personally, I think it looks not bad. I don't think he looks terrible or anything. This was a disaster. Looks like it healed though, so didn't really lose anything from it. That's good.
That wasn't permanent. Like I don't think he's in bad shape or anything like he's actually really fit here. Hold on. He's got the weirdest workout routine though He does he is in good shape.
He's like almost 50. He's fit He looks synthetic and here's his these are his pills that he takes every day Man has like 60 pills for breakfast and another 60 pills before bed and bedtime I think is 8 p.m. Just to set the record straight it's 105 pills that he takes every day and it's broken up into two separate parts and he also stops eating at I think it was 11. I'm already forgetting because it was just so much information at once, but I'm pretty sure it's 11 He spends like most of his time in a fasted state and then his bedtime He like he takes sleep super seriously, which makes a lot of sense There is so much research and evidence to suggest that sleep is like one of the most important things you can do But it's also the most cringe thing you can do. I hate sleep I think if we could just find a way to conquer sleep We would then go out and conquer the stars if we just had those like eight nine hours a day that we spend I offline, holy shit, the amount of things we could accomplish.
That is the holy grail of science, I think, is finding a way for us to not need to sleep. But since we don't live in that fucking fantasy, you know, it's not Warhammer 40k, sleep is very important and he talks a lot at length about that. In fact, in that video with Will, he says like if there's one thing that you take away from all this, even if you don't like everything else, the one thing you should take away is that sleep is important. Like very, very, very, very important. And it is.
You should buy one of his true age tests to see how old your body is at the cellular level. How much are they? That's actually not a bad idea.
We should do that. We should do that at the warehouse. See who is cellularly the youngest out of our group. So the Decode Your DNA... this one right?
It's this one I'm pretty sure. The True Diagnostic Epigenetic Company. Decode Your DNA.
That actually could be fun. I'm gonna send this to my friends. Hey guys want to test our DNA? We've already done that! Well kind of.
We tested our testosterone and we're doing a fertility test pretty soon. See who's got the most potent seed. Let chat do a guest poll on who has the most for potency. That's not a bad idea. Yeah, we can do that.
Once we get the kits though, I'll wait till we get the kits. Then we can do a little chat poll. I've just got a sneaking suspicion though, when we do the fertility test, one of us is going to be sterile and it's going to be devastating. It's going to make the video so much more uncomfortable.
I just have a feeling, just a hunch. It'll probably be me too, because growing up, I used to just play City of Heroes on my laptop. Well, it was my parents'laptop.
And I just set it on my lap for fucking hours in front of the TV, just letting that fry my sack. I probably burnt all of that to a crisp.