trapped by dark waters there is no escape nor do we want it we've come to thrive on it and each other you can't get the adrenaline pumping without the terror good people so it has finally happened i have released a friday the 13th video on friday the 13th and they all said it couldn't be done actually no one said that it's like the easiest thing to ever do i just had to know that friday the 13th was coming up so today we're doing friday the 13th part 8. jason takes manhattan the majority of the shots of new york that we see are in the opening credits sequence and it just shows people being mugged people doing drugs and just like a very lingering shot of a rat swimming around and festering liquid garbage the city of new york was like we'll allow it you got our good side so after the delightful establishing shots of manhattan we then see two teens who are having sex on a boat that is anchored at the middle of crystal lake so like did everyone just forget all about the fact that they changed the name to forest green and before they do the deed jimmy decides to be the first person ever to acknowledge the four dozen or so murders that happen at this lake but his girlfriend susie has no idea what he's talking about so jimmy begins to tell the story of jason voorhees starting with his drowning death on crystal lake and like does young jason have hair just because this is jimmy's version and he heard that jason had hair because it's really weirding me out and as the boat drifts the anchor catches on a power cable and the electric shock brings jason back to life jimmy plays a prank on susie and pretends to be jason and jimmy and susie begin to have sex when jason climbs on board and puts on the mask which as luck would have it is an exact replica of his previous mask even down to the ax mark from the third movie and jason kills both of them with a harpoon the next day the senior class from lakeview high is preparing to take a boat trip to new york for their graduation trip and they're setting off aboard the oh my god the lazarus really come on guys among the students is quiet withdrawn renny wickham who's talking with her english teacher miss van dusen who gives her a graduation gift stephen king supposedly used it in high school oh and i'm being told that we have a recording of stephen king using the pen how the hell does that work recording from my parents house here in maine beginning work on my first novel i have the monster mash playing in the background for inspiration and i'm using my favorite pen of that [ __ ] margie manduson has been trying to get her hands on i'll die before i'll let her get it okay so here goes the spooky name by stephen king chapter one it was a dark and stormy night i've got chills already alice was walking home from a friend's house and she took a shortcut through a graveyard oh my that's so scary when suddenly from behind a scary tombstone there appeared a ghost it was such a spooky ghost just the spookiest ghost you ever did see and just that a vampire showed up just the spookiest vampire who ever did the vampire's name was garrett and he loved to drink blood oh man now i'm picturing this ghost and derek the vampire and i'm just getting too freaked out that's enough writing for tonight all right so this has been high schooler stephen king writing the opening paragraph also chef running this trip is rennie's uncle charles mcculloch he wears a suit and a sweater vest for a party cruise so that should tell you everything you need to know about him the captain of the lazarus is admiral robertson and his son sean is also going on this trip and the admiral wants shawn to follow in his footsteps vanquishing command of the motor vessel lazarus to captain sean robertson if i was on this boat i would be more than a little concerned to find out the captain just gave up control of the ship to the kid who sat next to me in biology before you take the helm take this it's a box of my toenail clippings it's an old sailor tradition how about we uh start up the engines and come around 180 degrees are you forgetting something mister you have to blast the tudor first maybe this is why you don't let your children command ships and before they set off jason climbs up the ship this voyage is doomed oh hey and we just get a complete rip-off of crazy ralph from the first two like that's it that's his whole character he just repeats word for word everything that crazy ralph said and like a lot of people in this movie he doesn't even have a name so the senior trip is setting out on a boat from crystal lake which has been pretty well established to be a landlocked lake in new jersey and they're gonna make their way to new york city jason's first victim is the rocker jj who goes down to the hold of the ship to rock out to just the most generic 80s rock possible [Music] oh what is this this is just noise you know what would be good to play jason's mother was a big fan of the fontaine sisters do you know the song hearts of stones or home asmodeum's favorite song the visceral whale of a succubus they steal the essence from 1 000 screaming virgins uh yeah jason already mentioned the fontaine sisters [Music] did that tiny version of you just call her mommy what the no jason doesn't know who that kid is or why he's pretending to be me and you know identity theft is no laughing matter jason is still trying to clean up his credit after that roy guy opened like 20 credit cards in jason's name and like honestly i have no idea what is going on with rennie's visions like it's not just in her head because the dog saw it too and freaked out and also young jason didn't have hair and like is this a ghost is this a ghost of a child that we're told didn't actually drown like the real jason voorhees is an adult on the ship why is there a ghost of his child self this is like a bad stephen king story from high school tamara's pressuring her friend ava to do drugs it's not that it's just you know if we get caught i could lose my science scholarship and everything you're talking to the prom queen eva now i have nothing but respect for the monarchy but i don't think even a prom queen is above maritime law so tamara and ava have just finished each doing one drug when they get caught by mr mcculloch and tamra thinks that renny knarked on them i'll be coming around to your stateroom in exactly 15 minutes miss mason so you better have your biology project ready or i'll be phoning your parents like this is a graduation trip why does she have homework also if that were my daughter who was on the trip of a lifetime and her teacher called to complain that she didn't have her homework done i'd be like so what she graduated a week ago i mean i would hate that my daughter was a coked up monster but in this scenario i've turned a blind eye to all that things between tamara and i have been a little shaky ever since her mother and i separated five years ago and i retreated into my work and a part of me realizes that any failings of tamara are on me and me alone but i drink to keep those thoughts from coming to the forefront and i only pray that one day tamra finds her way and that this trip gives her the confidence to be the woman that i know she can be just because her mother and i don't love each other anymore doesn't mean we don't love her julius is a champion boxer and he's boxing unnamed guy in green shirt and julius easily knocks him out and this no-name dude later goes to the sauna after his boxing match when jason walks in nice fight julius i guess i need to work on my left right left combo hey listen no hard feelings man okay what do you say we track down those babes later julius like even if i'm 100 convinced that my buddy has entered the room but then they aren't saying a word it's because they're getting ready to do something horrible to me this is a high school trip for crying out loud oh my god julius why are you doing this to me help julius is murdering me why julius you were my best friend don't do this julius i love you you know julius is kind of a cool name maybe jason should start going by julius i say go for it i went by keith for an entire millennium ooh keith is a cool name so your name was keith day what do you think that my last name is day and my first name is asmo um jason did until you said it like that just now now jason's regretting saying anything at all tamra finally gets a revenge and knocks randy overboard and young jason pulls her under the water seriously i know these movies like to retcon a lot of stuff but what was the point of giving young jason a full head of hair like it makes what tommy did in part 4 look incredibly stupid i mean it already was incredibly stupid but it at least made some kind of sense also this boat is at a complete standstill no wonder's taking them so long to get to new york just come back and you're all gonna die uh ralph junior you're kinda weirding everyone out bud randy goes into the bathroom and has another vision of young jason i mean do we really have another psychic teen situation and tamra then seduces mr mcculloch while wayne records it so they can blackmail him and as for you you can forget about attending any film school i'm going to call all of the ones you apply to and say no so the lazarus made it out of crystal lake and after they portaged over 100 miles on land they finally made it to the atlantic ocean and jason then kills the captain on the first mate and shawn and rennie find his dad dead and he calls everyone to the bridge they try to alert the coast guard but jason rips out the wires also is a giant boat the most efficient way to get a dozen teens to new york like depending on where they are in new jersey it's like a two-hour drive and they've stretched it into a three-day cruise jason has just been wet for like a decade now you know what i think jason wants to go to space jason would be dry all the time in space oh it rains in outer space what yeah it's true i lived on the moon for a brief time in the 60s what's it like up there it's a lot like denver also they say that the moon is big and far away but that's a lie it's really small and like right there you could fly to the moon in a hot air balloon if you wanted to [Music] here comes and we then get the craziest kill in the whole franchise i'm just kidding the kills are garbage in this one wayne goes looking for jj and loses his glasses and accidentally shoots this dude seriously i have no idea who this is and at the start of this movie this boat was packed but during the whole run time we only see like eight people until jason needs more bodies it's like on lost when the extras were just always quietly milling around the background and then randomly one would get killed by the smoke monster and kate would be all like oh i can't believe jeff is dead and you're all like who the hell is jeff and then jason shows up and electrocutes wayne actually electrocution describes the act of putting a criminal to death with the electric chair it's an electric execution wayne was merely murdered by electricity was that directed at me the hell is that all about did you find renny she's locked safely in her room no thanks to either of you um i'm sorry but it only takes one person to lock a door mcculloch god this dude sucks have you brought it back on course yet he's doing the best he can he's the son of a captain for christ's sakes you ought to be able to operate this thing what the hell kind of logic is that i don't know how to do my dad's job and down in the engine room the fire from wayne's death is starting to spread excellent now we can destroy all of these mortals when the fire consumed the whole boat what did you do jason's terrible in a crisis and in her room renny sees another vision of young jason when old jason grabs her and she stabs him in the eye with the stephen king pen it is an incredibly spooky scene and then jason throws julius overboard the ship begins taking on water which glass half full means they won't have to worry about the fire anymore and also we are an hour into this movie and jason has still not taken manhattan he hasn't even taken this one boat so the only survivors are mcculloch renny sean and miss van dusen and they make their way to a lifeboat and julius climbs on board i hope you can find chores soon captain oh my god die already dude they finally spot the statue of liberty and make it to shore wonderful choice of places to talk boat mr robertson this guy and they head off to find a pay phone but unfortunately jason made it to shore right behind him and since this movie is sponsored by the new york city board of tourism they are immediately mugged give me money everyone shut up and give them the money but no one said anything so they take their money and they take off with renny and mcculloch suggest that they split up he has been [ __ ] on everyone else's ideas all day and his first contribution is to split up the gang members are getting ready to rape renny and they inject drugs into her system when jason murders them both jason catches up to julius and julius begins boxing jason now it already seems silly to box this hulking behemoth but it's even sillier to punch him in the face we're in a hockey mask and so jason rope-a-dopes julius and after julius tires himself out jason punches his head clean off the survivors meet back up and they meet the most new york cop ever you're right i find it a tall tale indeed but you seem like honest folks so i'm inclined to believe at least some of what you say oh it sure is lucky i happened upon you fine folks don't you know i don't know at all this is a boot but we'll get straightened out for you we'll find this loony scaffold we'll haul him before the local magistrate and you know i studied criminology at university so we should have no problem finding oh hey there get your stinking mitts off me you hoser [Music] and that's what happens when you do drugs and drive it gives you the courage to stop a murderer so remember always shoot up before you buckle up rennie then thinks she sees young jason this time without a full head of hair and tries to run him over but instead crashes into a wall and miss van dusen dies in the explosion okay there are going gonna be some innocent casualties when you drive high but you're gonna kill more bad guys in the long run renny then has a drug-induced flashback of when she and her uncle were in a row boat on crystal lake and mcculloch we learned has always been pure [ __ ] and he tells rennie that if she doesn't learn to swim then jason will pull her down to the bottom of the lake and he pushes her in and even back then young jason pulls her under the water like i have several questions but i feel that even the people that made this movie aren't equipped to answer them renny confronts mcculloch and she and sean run off and jason wakes up and here we go jason grabs mcculloch and then dunks him head first into a barrel of toxic waste that is just out in the open come visit beautiful new york city and then jason chases sean and rennie to the subway station but i i don't get why like jason has no real special attachment to these people he's just a remorseless killing machine who now has a seemingly unlimited supply of victims he should be massacring everyone in the subway car jason goes after them and they manage to knock him under the dreaded third rail i don't even really know what the third rail is just that so many people in movies and tv shows have been absolutely cooked on it like is it the third one counting from the outside in or inside out and does it need to murder you as soon as you touch it like what is the point of it so after an hour and 25 minutes we finally get our first actual footage of new york when they emerge from the subway into times square but jason is right behind them yet again oh my goodness look at this magical place all the lights and the people makes jason feel so small jason loves this song poppers singing jingle bells this place is all wonderland you're a dead meat slime oh [ __ ] these four dudes are history yo man it's cool it's cool man it's cool oh okay so actually this shows a level of awareness that i wouldn't think jason was capable of so like apparently jason knows that his face looks like mangled ass and he knows that he is so hideous that he can scare street tuffs away also why did you let them run away jason doesn't like to be threatened these four should all have their taints ripped out buck rollins style shawn and renny then run to a diner and we get a master class and acting like you've received a phone call [Music] yeah hey yeah welcome like always just pure gibberish i love it like there was no pause for the person on the other end to even have said anything just dynamite they make their way down to the sewer where a maintenance man tells them that they need to leave because the entire new york city sewer system is flooded by toxic waste every night at midnight that seems like a bigger threat to manhattan than an undead monster jason kills the worker and he's about to kill sean when rennie throws a bucket of toxic waste onto jason and jason begins shrieking like well i guess like what i imagine a dragon would shriek like if that dragon was melting from toxic waste [Music] and rennie and sean are climbing out of the sewer with jason right behind them when the 12 o'clock wall of toxic waste comes barreling towards them right on schedule oh my god this toxic waste smells so bad it's triggering jason's gag reform so the nightly toxic waste melts jason away and when they look back he's been replaced by the little boy version of jason with hair again i don't know what this is supposed to signify like is jason gonna live his life again as a little child or is it all in rennie's head is he a ghost are they two separate people why is there so much toxic waste in new york city this is terry silver level of toxic waste all right so that was friday the 13th part eight jason takes manhattan or more accurately jason visits manhattan briefly for about 10 minutes and i would say this is the dumbest friday the 13th movie and it was until jason goes to hell which is the perfect example of a movie not living up to the completely badass vhs cover