Transcript for:
Navigating Personal Growth and Understanding Cultural Differences

[Music] [Music] complely these daysys these days all men are trash her political campaign underlying tagline my Peters have have you heard that before yeah yeah I mean I heard that before I was famous on social bro like friends and it's a tremendous compliment compliment of course I understand that this is a joke and part of it comes from the fact that bro when I was roughly your age when I was 2122 22 itself 22 right so when I was your age I was going through let's say kind of an Awakening I had just just moved countries I was living in America I was living by myself and it was strange and you know the environment itself was kind of overwhelming to Jord Peterson right um and it was not like see I think Peterson says something about having a second father right you have a first father you have a second father I also think you have third fourth fifth fathers but uh Peterson was in a sense my second father right I learned a lot about how to lead a life as a man as a boy transitioning into a man from Peterson and I frankly think he's a genius I know there is a little bit of discredit that happens to him now partly because of his political commentary which I've always kind of thought is a little whatever but I think he's a genius when it comes to Understanding Psychology he's a genius when it comes to pointing to the fact that psychology is better understood in religion and spirituality and those domains than it is in actual science psychology and so I copied a lot of his behaviors right but I have phases like the last podcast I was talking like this which is very Osho so it depends on who I'm listening to you know you you sort of have an osmosis kind of a thing with people you listen to and I'm sure I have seen videos of people trying to talk like me also on the internet because they listen to me a lot and then they talk talk like me so it's very understandable what is the biggest thing that you've learned from him from Peterson let's see I'll tell you what I think what I've learned from him and it reflects in the way I talk is you must always attempt to chase your thoughts with words and it's not a very simple idea but the point is when you're speaking you're speaking to illuminate the idea to yourself up and when you're trying to talk to yourself you are thinking at a speed you are trying to chase it down with words that you speak and in doing so you produce the best kind of answer to a question that you can interesting very interesting right I [Laughter] [Applause] agree talk tell me about us how did us change you as an Indian male going to us in what ways did it change you and how did it make you better or worse bro why did you assume my gender of all you know you don't know my pronounce I haven't um too many ways to see I come from a smallish town I W say faridabad is a small town but it's a smallest town it is right south of Delhi to there is a Delhi sort of um let's say Delhi flows into it but in the day-to-day it's a small community okay and within that small community also there's only so many people that are worth knowing so effectively I was a big fish in a small pond right I remember touching down in America or classroom I had students everywhere from 18 to like 30 something not even that like some students average like there were some 70 year olds also right Columbia University Columbia and particularly in Columbia has a school called the school of General Studies which is open to students who want to start their undergrad late for whatever reason you were an actor a ballet dancer an army veteran whatever you want to come to school now come for you it'd be perfect okay because you know you are famously a Dropout um so I landed I remember day one or day two school orientation it's a very overwhelming experience first of all when you land there in America or orientation and I was 21 so I was kind of already a few years older than the average freshman I met my roommate to be at the orientation his name was per sidu from California originally from Punjab I met him I spoke to him and I was like who what like in what terms bro he was he was PR but 1.5 1.5 times in every way he was like my older brother right like he was the guy I modeled myself around for a very long time he was the guy no no he was older he was a few years older but psychologically from a standpoint of wisdom courage morality many years older many many years older like maybe like he seems like he's a 50-year-old in the way he carries himself and I mean that as a compliment like great great guy [ __ ] these guys have depth and we are discussing ideas we we are debating philosophy me and him and there were a few we had four roommates total and I'm finding it so hard to wrestle with him so hard to wrestle with him like I'm like bro me who's known for wrestling ideas back in India and so this was the beginning of me realizing now this is a big pond and I'm a small fish why is it important to wrestle with ideas let me let me come to that let me finish the point I was trying to make this feeling took over the next 68 months not just that I was fairly smooth here like talking to people Charming whatever girls this that I think my second or third date I got stood up and that was was a shock I was like like and I'm just surprised what is happening so from meeting my older brother who was really like quite a monster quite a beast intellectually morally in so many ways and the right word is superior right that was very interesting and then realizing so it was a grand humbling experience at first and only once you're destroyed can you rebuild and then without realizing I was in rebuilding mode and I'm having some of the most important years of my life in New York City at Columbia University one of the best schools in the world I'm going through my first depression there I'm going through a tough breakup there I'm going through falling in love in that place I'm going through meeting a completely novel set of individuals who have a very interesting history all of this is happening there so I think I grew up in that six-year period as an Indian guy who's not from from India like I went from being I can access my like intellectually I think in English right so it changed me completely it changed me from being somebody who could have gone down a very arrogant cocky Road and I know sometimes people will tend to label me regardless but it changed me from that to realizing bro the world is so much bigger and there's so much Beauty to be found and unless you are willing to submerge swim be destroyed and be rebuilt nothing is ever possible stop holding on to who you are find people who are far better than you always be the second or the third dumbest person in the room right like swim as hard as you can when you find those people be with them learn from them and experience when time went on now everybody's somewhere one of my friends is fighting the war in his Israel he's an Israeli soldier one of my friends is now back in this state and that state and doing this thing and that thing and so I've also seen the coming together of these individuals aligning themselves around certain ideals and morals and then going away it's beautiful Journey so that's the answer to that question as far as wrestling with ideas is concerned and forgive my friend programing or particularly Indian Jo strong side as an Indian which is we are a community Society based group of people MH which probably is the reason my guess is that prevents us from having widespread depression and other mental health issues and loneliness because divorce rates well divorce rates a separate topic but uh what prevents us from being so alone existentially that we succumb to depression is this social structure right but is pressures Delhi airport Uber I was in broke down on top of a flyover so forget the world let's talk about Indians because audience largely Indian the reason why you should wrestle with ideas is because you're too easy to fool and it will not take something more than just me speaking confidently to convince you of anything at all and in fact if I were to be completely truthful if I were to go down to the bottom of the barrel psychologically philosophically spiritually you are already fooled the reason why you must wrestle with ideas so you can unfol yourself so you can finally wake up in some sense who fooled you you yourself you're the biggest trickster like ishan what do you want in life growth yeah that's a Fool's [ __ ] approach to life what are you doing like truly like if you reallying up the way you approach growth say for instance or the fact that you even try for growth as if grow in various aspects physical mental career wise and until you get that growth you keep yourself slightly unhappy you're like I I love this journey that I'm on oh you're love loving the journey I love this Stu that you have then then then then then let's say you are an exception right do you think that is me fooling myself no well you can say but okay I'll take another common example love right look at the commentary around love modern day comment coming black those sides are complete lies neither of them are true but when we fall in love we believe the first when we fall out of love we believe the second so you are constantly fooling yourself right this is a slightly tricky people may not understand but when you are in one of those two zones I'm not saying snap out of it and realize what is logically true because logic itself is a lie if you really go down to the bottom of it logic is an attempt to fool yourself existential philosophical people chase success because they or chase growth because they watch isan isan has successfully fooled his audience prar has fooled his audience into thinking you can articulate your way out of anything you can be confident for the love of God everybody's fooling each other and unless you have the ability the software to tackle your own set of ideas unless you have the intelligence to discover who you are truly you are not even living that is the reason you are unhappy happy and all of you are unhappy let me be [ __ ] real and so it begins with having the ability to wrestle with ideas because you're too easy to fool are you unhappy sometimes yeah but that's how it should be right you cannot expect yourself to be always happy no no that's will be that is also fooling yourself in some way but we getting fairly spiritual at this point right right spiritual in the sense we are talking about a level of psychology deep see happiness has two forms there's joy and there's pleasure mhm if you seek to be pleasureful always if you want to be always in pleasure that's fooling yourself if you understand that Joy is right here and right now that's not fooling yourself that's waking up mhm to um of course I'm unhappy but I'm very joyful in my unhappiness these days like you know it's it's that kind of a thing um go if I borrow it into some kind of religious metaphor this is all shaky and shaki will show you good days and bad days but it's all shaky you can't deny shaki you can't deny the unhappy part of shaki are you truly enjoying it though are you truly realizing it accepting [Laughter] very interesting but what is one thing that we should learn from people in the US going back to the conversation that we were having and one thing we should not learn from them as Indians of our age what should we learn from the states H I have a idea that is on the surface of my mind I'm not sure if that is the one I want to go with see okay yes this is a good one what we can learn from Americans is how they perform their civic duty because they see that as their patriotic like responsibility we the birth OFA but let's be honest under the table to we have no allegiance to our K to our community to our country at that point we don't see our civic duty as our patriotic responsibility what should we not borrow from Americans is consuming let's say the spiritual religious Matrix they right there right but is consumption look I have no ego so I'm better than you so so um what what we definitely should learn is how they treat their country frankly it is better than how we treat our country and our community no doubt but how they treat their spiritual Pursuit they're so lost they're so lost there is many doors that exist in India to find who you truly are and almost very few in America that's I recently visited Japan have you visited Japan no I had an amazing experience are you into that kind of [Laughter] pornography did not did not go for that there's something called as made cafes have you heard of it no made cafes is very unique to Japan so you go there there are uh there are women who are dressed like the anime characters and and then they try and then and then the YouTube censorship happens yeah yeah I'm sure I'm sure so no Japan is a famously sexually repressed society that has very interesting ways of expressing their sexuality it is yeah I'll tell you but the biggest thing I should learn from Japan particularly is this idea of civic responsibility that you just talked about and along with that the eye for efficiency they're efficient with every single thing yep they're process oriented and look at the irony right we are frankly the civilization that has more rule-based literature than any civilization ever historically speaking literature that talks about how Society should be done then are thinkers who are thinking purely on material planes chanaka Shankar and whatnot everything is happening and then Krishna comes in says the most powerful thing in the bhag process [ __ ] right they have a different responsibility towards their work they are more K yogis than we tend to be and you know what is interesting about the religion they don't have a DT they don't have like a one God called so even in their Temple right we went we were like trying to understand right so they all they bow down and then they throw that coin over there and then they wish for something and it's Buddhist now effectively not exactly it is different Buddhism come is like China and all that but Japanese religion is Shinto and they don't believe in a god they just believe in this one some something is there right I asked my friend who was living in Japan for the last 5 years he's working in uni and he was like but they still they will still have some prayer before they eat food and because of all the things that has happened to Japan they've been like no one came to save us we saved ourselves UPI right all the tsunamis all the earthquakes all the things happened to [ __ ] interesting and so that was very interesting for me to learn from from them but the thing that you should not learn from Japan is sexual repression that and this idea that because they have so many processes yeah you have to break the rules to truly innovate exactly and because they don't let new ideas get executed sure so there's always some things to learn some things not to take from different a disease of order it's a disease of order order right masculinity like I'm symbolically B masculinity is order right masculinity is Rule based and so when there is too much of that which sometimes happens with very strict fathers the kids's natural urges to explore and be chaotic are suppressed and the kid hates the father very common in house every kid out there in India no sometimes the father is different and the mother is worse and the mother is too chaotic feminine being too chaotic and so the kid cannot have simple order they don't know how to operate themselves structurally through the day different problem India is a chaotic land in India's Mother India in its true Essence Japan is probably father Japan in its true Essence yeah like Daddy Japan eventually eventually all conversations I have end up in daddy ises you started with the second father thing brother brother n but you talked about this thing that you think in English yeah and I think that's something that most people who are watching my videos 20 something people can not yet how do you get in that state have to educ I read all the Continental philosophers right I read a lot of the psychological literature all of this in English though I think in English I had to talk and communicate in English in fact when I had first gone one of the obstacles was I could not emote in English ma' may I come in right um but truly a function of how you think depends on where you consume thinking from to um let me take an example right the the ability to have many languages is great um many languages are also many characters and personality in you then start reading writing listening talking in English and do that for six months and you'll be smooth gentlemen huh gentlemen gentlem gent right there is no magic or there is no superow to it well unless you're working abroad in which case that is not something to force on yourself that's an easy goal that just happens tell me about conversations if I go to public setting I find someone interesting you mean a woman anyone okay and I want to talk to them and so describe the setting to me where are you what let's say I am in a library or I am at a mess in college or I am in a mall for example I'm just going around looking at at things and then I see them and they find I find them interesting or they're saying something which I find interesting or I'm in a Metro they're reading a book that I find interesting anything would be that what is like a three-step process for me to start a conversation with them if I give you a three-step process you're not going to do it but I'll do something better for you ask yourself why don't you do it already isan why don't you do it already I'm asking you do what like just start a conversation nervous nervous that is what we have to figure out what is what is it that they can say that you don't want that is the biggest thing that people have about what I've just said and they've not replied I'll feel bad about it later on H you'll feel bad about it yeah right right as as right yeah um the answer to what you're asking is bro most people don't think they deserve a conversation no listen to this don't I'm genuinely saying like think about this when you see somebody who you're interested in talking to when you see somebody who you're interested in talking to man or woman right you will generally be nervous only with more important men people you actually want for their blessings to be around you or attractive women the issue there is you don't think you deserve a conversation with them you think you're lesser than them you think you're disturbing them you think you are interrupting them as you've never truly put yourself in their shoes and realize their life is as shitty as yours you don't think you deserve a conversation with them two and here's the interesting part if you do go say hello you think you deserve a response because when they don't you feel bad why first of all you don't think you deserve a conversation then you somehow manage to magically pick yourself up and be like and they're like I have a boyfriend or uh sorry I'm having dinner with my family or I'm sorry I'm busy I'm on a call and you're like decide which one are you are you the one who does not think they deserve a conversation or are you the one who thinks that they I deserve a response yeah which one are you and the three-step process simply is pick yourself up take the first three steps and I'll tell you this is beautiful because I've done this right like step right like so you you it was kind of tricking myself um but fundamentally I never thought I deserved a conversation and once I started thinking dude like you know once you start having that Outlook to life where this is just funo as long as long as all I have to do to a woman and say listen I think you look gorgeous and I just wanted to let you know that like I don't want anything in return such a cliche but it works 10 on 10 10 on 10 it works you go time well every time most times but my point is if you go to a woman and you're like Hey listen I think you are gorgeous I think you look so good today and I just wanted to let you know that I want nothing in return she will say thank you 100% even if she doesn't want to continue that conversation she will say that you've just given her a genuine compliment so step one you think you deserve it step two want nothing out of it see how I flipped both those points the first one is you deserve this conversation the second one is you don't deserve a conversation from here on that you have to earn so you say that I don't expect a response yeah yeah no no no never expect a response most of meeting interesting people in life is a sample space issue you've only asked five people I've asked 5,000 literally that's why I know so many interesting people and that's why I Network my way through life like it's nothing um and then step three use less questions and make more statements and this is a technical tip because statements invite more responses questions invite questions right so just make more statements instead of the question say I wanted to say um isan do we assume yeah exactly I I will never say ishan how old are you isan you're 22 and you'll be like yeah yeah yeah how did you know and now you are invested in the conversation so because initially you will have to ask questions and we can get into the technicalities but largely it's it's a belief system issue you don't think you're good enough smooth talking okay too many compliments I'm rising you up I am rised you want to see how wet I am from the sweat that has occurred to me through the day of being around in Bombay please don't catch the wrong drift here so I've done a very technical analysis of how you talk to people right like really technical more technical than people would imagine because what you see in the book is a culmination right I've I've had 5 600 Pages worth of notes of everyday interaction somewhere in my Google Docs right and after I was done with all of that and I'd really begun to master the art of conversation I realized it boils down to a few fundamental things one is feel like you deserve any conversation you're in the second is have more fun than take more fun share fun give your fun out give your energy to them always give and three never quite worry about the outcome the outcome start rolling in EG then magically people start responding without you even real iing respond and then you constantly surprised what is a great conversation where the other person is leaving happier than they came in Full Stop nothing else is needed and then there are many ways to get there you know but yeah that's it problem is let's just say I go to a networking event I go to a party I am meeting some group of people and I start talking to someone I had that first sentence they replied back and now we're talking but it's all just the small talk superficial okay but how do you get to the depth of it how do you genuinely create a con um look you have first see see the answer to that is you can do whatever and it'll happen or hi bro and no so you come to me let's just assume it's worse right you come to me you're like hi bro I'm like hi you're like and I'm like and you're like and you're like suppose this is how the conversation is going and dying and suddenly I'll stop you be like you'll see I'm absolutely sincere about asking you this question or and I don't recommend you do that only people who are completely okay with who they are can pull this off I'll stop you and be like bro last time great sex right and I'm telling you this is it sounds funny but it's completely pull off I'm not saying you should do this I'm saying that the way you can get deep in any conversation is literally whichever way you prefer whichever way you can ask them a deep question which is the most direct thing and truly hold frame like I mean this question I genuinely mean this question ishan tell me right now on the podcast when was the last time you had great sex which is last your last life but you see the point like I can literally ask you this question on your show while we having a serious conversation and you'll answer because I mean that question and I'll say I mean this question right but because if the other person like what the hell you don't know what to do from there and that is going to trip you off so let's do something rather simple right let's H let's have a pretend conversation you can pretend to be whatever you can give me whatever answer and I'll make conversation out of it you can be as hard as you want in trying to have this conversation there is a like I can be the most but it'll still be longer and more meaningful than other people's right so let's try and have this conversation I just met you hi what is your name hi I'm ishan ishan this is your name uhuh okay um isan who gave you this name I don't know my my parents do you know which one mother father I don't remember that you know sometimes I've often thought you know when people ask you this question who are you closer to your mother or your father and I'm like when I was younger I was closer to my mother but as I've gotten older I'm closer to my father you know what I'm saying yeah do you relate to that at all yeah I I used to be much more closer to my mother than I am right now and I've started to resonate and empathize more with my father the more that I grow what did your mother do wrong for that to happen see we already in a territory it took nothing right and curious so say for instance what do you do I get paid to talk to the camera wait what does that mean I'm a YouTube Creator YouTube yeah that's very interesting mhm how does how does one end up doing YouTube for a living but that's the thing right like people ask me this question all the time and I'm like I understand I understand right like I understand and then I'm just like no no no I get it that that could be you and that could have something to do with you than them because they're genuinely following their curiosity and but what I was trying to illustrate there is I just went in with genuine curiosity I'm just genuinely asking the most obvious and the most direct and the most important question to me from the last thing you said and if I genuinely follow that if I genuinely follow that I will end up in the right place I will end up having a deep conversation the trouble is I'm too afraid of taking a risk I'm too afraid of saying dude I've never seen your content dude I never watch YouTube I'm just too afraid of saying listen I might sound stupid but I have a question I'm just too afraid and so you stick to small talk out of fear you can choose whichever way to get into a deep conversation that is the simplest thing that is the most human thing accessible to you all you need to do is turn inwards and see what do you want to know what do you want to say and then say it and initially the first maybe 100 attempts you will be super nervous taking a risk in conversation what a risk means by the way we cover extensively an art of conversation Shameless plug if you want to learn more come to artof conversation. but and then there is some other techniques like uh instead of question answer do question answer statement weight I teach this in my workshop also um but all I have to do is genuinely follow my curiosity put a little technical uh sprinkle on top and it makes for great conversation great brilliant conversation and you learn more from people than you would ever do from books ever because that is experienced as opposed to reported but here's the thing most of the people who are watching not most I think some of them have had a schooling where they were in like a boy School in a girl school and so when they go out in the real world they find it very difficult to talk to the opposite SE isn't that not fun like that is the most fun part I for one I'm bored of talking to girls at large because I am no longer nervous sometimes I am and then that's great well I haven't had to frankly luckily I'm in a very happy relationship for for the last 2 years or so but like I remember the minute I was like then it stops being fun it was only fun until it was difficult let's be real so you're saying that we are attracted to people who we are we are a bit nervous with talking to no I'm saying what fear is made out of is the same substance that excitement is made out of it's a reframing issue you have to look at it properly roller coaster you have to if you able to convince yourself you're not going to die then you'll have fun instantly you fool yourself saying that you'll not die and bro you don't fool yourself that is probably the truth 99.99% you're not going to die yeah similarly for life where you are going to die if you are able to convince yourself you are going to die because we walk around thinking we'll never die again we touching the spiritual part here genuinely realiz genuinely it becomes like a roller coaster well to sure you want to get into this yeah so how do you fool yourself into thinking that it's not fooling it's actually waking up okay this is waking up realizing you will die is waking up the only truth you need to know the only see I'll say something which some people might get triggered by but that's my speciality um think of the word sanatan dham DH being truth DH not being religion and sanatan being Eternal what is the one Eternal truth that you live and you then you die you die full stop Yak famously Yak is a water spirit water spirit yaksh asked yudish this in one episode of of the Mahabharat or something of that nature Andra says death and so once you are completely aware this is not fooling yourself this is waking up to that reality how we'll get to you live life very differently this is probably if not complete Enlightenment amateure Enlightenment okay how do you do that there are methods bro and you can think of many methods yoga is a method um vipasha which is the method I prefer Vias is a method psychedelics which is a method that is growing again very popular in the west is a method there are many methods praying you know being in touch with God which is a universal method is a method um let's see what else is a method actually surviving an experience where you almost died is a accidental method that is a method once you truly wake up to the fact that you will die that is the day you start living ran around Ching so they will miss irrespective of what you do unless you wake up to the fact that you will die there will always be misery because you'll always be chasing [ __ ] goals like growth and success and money and love and sex and freedom well Freedom again freedom is a good goal to depends on how you describe freedom I meant freedom in the sense of Financial Freedom unless ority but when they become your central targets you are sure to find disappointment and you are sure to find disappointment Until you realize in this life or the next however you you're metaphysics in this life or the next or in the 20th life from now until you realize that the actual goal is to die properly everything else is a byproduct success comes money comes love comes sex comes Freedom comes everything comes from realizing that you're going to die so the real question is not how I want to live but how do I want to die and then you live your life for that how is it in our control good question that's is probably the first good question what do you expect will happen when you die when you're dying for you imagine shut down system I'll evalue it I look at what do I really want to do what do I have left to do or how will you feel I'll feel free you'll feel free knowing that I'll die in 3 days so well you have already begun understanding what it means to wake up and what freedom is because a lot of people will feel fear a lot of people will feel disappointment a lot of people will feel regret for the initial five minutes or so no bro think about it the minute life is escaping you this is what is happening inside you and the metaphysics of rebirth says that or the dharmic metaphysics metaphysics by the way for people who do not know means rules that describe how the world Works philosophy of philosophy philosophy philosophy metaphysics of um the metaphysics of dhm says that what happens right before you die is carried on to your next life so most people carry on into the next life because they feel these fears these disappointments these attachments these regrets right before they're about to die but like you said I will feel free and this is what I mean so the minute you realize you're going to die you actually start see look at Beauty as a concept this flower pot this is fake right this is fake so un beautiful if this was a real flower as compared to a fake whatever would it not be different and much more beautiful it would be you know why because it's about to die that that is the difference between a first love and a very long marriage because when you first fall in love you don't know if this will survive you realize the impermanence Beauty lives in the fact things are this temporary so it is this realization of impermanence in the grandest sense of the word that truly wakes you up to the fact that you will die and once you realize you will die and you're really sure that you will die and you understand you will die you begin living properly is fooling [Laughter] yourself flirting key huh flirting we were talking about if someone has just been in a boy school or a girl school and now they want to start talking to the opposite gender what do they do okay so I'll tell you what you need to do first of all you have to understand psychological physiological which is your body your nervous system reacting and the way your nervous system reacts if you're going to be honest with yourself Palm sweaty Shaky Knees um stuttering not knowing what to say blanking um looking down like all these different ways in which your body reacts Jo second physiological fear through exposure I'm sure but universally I don't get it but I'll tell you what it is it is basically fear exposure pain exposure cold exposure right slowly getting used to uncomfortable it is literally telling your mind uncomfortable I used to do this back in 20178 when I first got into America partly to shock myself out of my head my thinking mind and get me into my body my feeling body right I did this two years ago go so till that time I had only been talking to the camera I would sit for hours on end and I would just talk to the camera and before that I I've never had friends and i' had never socialized I was a typical Sharma and then I was like I'm going to do events I want to do shows I want to have live audience of thousand people right looking at me looking to learn something from me wow and I did it okay 30 events done and so when you do that what you really do is out program yourself from Fear on the physical level and once the physical is gone the psychological is easier to tackle right this is also something that the West gets better than Indians Indians because they have doorways to spirituality and religion more accessible than the West they think all problems begin and end with the mind they do not realize that without a proper physical base all spirituality ends up being nonsense partly because so you solve for the physical which is exposure you go up to somebody use this exact line hey I think you look very pretty today don't say gorgeous don't go extreme I think you look very pretty today that's all I wanted you to know and I hope you have a great day pause let her say thank you be like you're welcome have a great day and leave do this 10 times number okay first you have to get out of this as far as phone [Music] number of [Laughter] conversation. there's many angles to it and it'll take longer but effectively I'll give you the short version so you get in now instead of saying hey you look very pretty today and I just wanted to let you know that just say hey you look very pretty today I just wanted to tell you that she says thank you and then introduce yourself my name is prakar I'll just be two minutes give a false time constraint false time constraint I'll just be two minutes I have some my friends are waiting for me downstairs I just wanted to let you know so what is your name conversation begins have that conversation don't talk sense at all talk nonsense have fun throw in random stuff tease her you know do all of that Jitter jat and as soon as you're done doing that Jitter jat then be like you know what I have to run you have an Instagram right then after you get the Instagram talk for another two minutes random nonsense because if you leave right then the odds of responses out of mind or out of s side no not just that but the registration is ke this is transactional and Indian girls are very sensitive to that so you stay there two more minutes talk [ __ ] be like damn I got late talking to you and then leave and then it works out how how how many times have you done this road map I met my I met my um my present girlfriend not not exactly like this but yeah somewhat like this I've had long-term relationships Sprout up in front of me what is the longest relationship you've had three and half you're 28 right now I'm 28 right now three and a half to 4 years that was when I was 20 I was 19 or 18 when I started dating her when you look back was there like a rule that you guys had that helped you have a long no no we just liked each other I'm um I would like to think that I don't know what my ex thinks right um yeah I've always been a long relationship kind of person when I found and I found like I don't know when people say broet um I've also never had trouble with that luckily but the all the long-term relationships I've had were kind of friends introducing us right and like why why that lasted for so long is because well I think both of us genuinely gave a [ __ ] about each other genuinely like it was not well sure there were some immature elements and we would fight a lot and there was a lot of that we were immature but I think we genuinely gave a [ __ ] about each other and I think that's true for all serious girlfriends I've had yeah I found beautiful relationships they've always ended tragically but I found beautiful relationships would you go back and do the same thing over again knowing that it ended yeah yeah 100% that's the beauty of it now we discussed that like now when I look back I'm like it's never like in fact I wish them the best you know uh at some point I don't know when they will all find more long-term Partners if they haven't already right wish them the best and the guys are so lucky to have found them right like uh I don't know uh we will I am starting to talk about these things more but I think that the more underlying layer of that is to become a better person well nonsense how how do you become a better person that's what my question to you was how do you become a high value person that that people want to talk to and they're like there are three stages to understanding let's say what kind of person you can be okay first you are somebody the world will train you to be somebody once that training is complete and you successfully become somebody then the world will train you to become somebody special which is what you're asking me how does somebody become somebody special right how do stand out yeah and when you go down the route of becoming somebody special you might spend a lifetime trying to become somebody special in some sense I'm lucky at least in this present moment I'm lucky where I come to realize there's nothing quiet to becoming somebody special sight to look at you so first you are the audience you're the viewer then you are the object of viewing but which is how would you say the neutral Observer the awake eye in some sense and so to finish that analogy in English first you're somebody then you're somebody special only to realize you're nobody and you're everybody this is the end of the spiritual Matrix but let's cut the spiritual Matrix out let's answer how do you become a high value person see there is a million ways to become a high value person you can become rich in your high value you can become good-looking your high value you can become jacked your high value you can become disciplined your high value you can become caring in your high value you can become high value in all these different ways it's like becoming it's like becoming Ma so the Chey is attracted to you but different equation so when people talk about becoming high value for instance State and the red pillars will talk about becoming high value it will attract women to you because that's their angle I'm not saying that's the reason why you become high value but it won't keep them around and so look at what Tate will say about women that begs the question T what have you done wrong in attracting women that maybe you've LED with the fact that you are high value maybe they were there for the high value and when you were not high value they left so my larger Point here is [Laughter] moment you have tough [ __ ] in life and so do you not want a partner that can handle you in those moments mhm I'm not saying be weak that's not the same I'm saying well or vice versa you know it can operate in the other domain also so the larger point I'm trying to drive is argument is slightly different my argument is particularly if you're sure you're going to be high value success is guaranteed I would much rather not lead with the kind of success I have I would much not rather not lead with the kind of high valness I possess I would much rather lead with my raw and unfiltered personality layer one pre-election the differen is between having and abundance mindset I'm going to find love and having a scarcity mindset and so maybe this is a point too complicated for people but what I'm trying to drive is you don't become a better person and therefore attract people you let your raw side out and attract the right people and I think you should focus on that and I let the raw side out on the first meeting itself in incrementally but you know um it depends on the load you can handle um so about being a high value person bro it's not so much don't lead with the high value as much as you lead with the completely raw part of you right because what keeps a relationship together is not how good things are but how you manage the worst relationship it is when both of you are at your worst and it just snaps you up and you snap you snap something happens you do an unforgivable mistake you cheat you lie you steal you leave the home and don't come back all night and that's when relationships go to [ __ ] things are very tough covid has occurred you're out of a job that's when relationships break and so I found that there is a certain Beauty to finding long-term relationships when you encounter trouble tragedy in the early stages of it beyond your physical manifestation [Laughter] of okay that that sorts your first impression out personality level P it's quite the opposite when you do everything to Signal you are not high value it signals your high value when you say stupid [ __ ] when you don't care about their response when you say something without hoping positive response when you don't try to impress right when you crack a joke that's somewhat bordering on like like oh like he probably should not have said yeah he he probably should not have said that right when you behave in a way where you don't care for the response it signals massive massive High Valu because the other person feels like or I can give you endless examples of how that happen so on a personality level you have to come to a place where you don't care about the response and the Paradox is if you have zero people you will always care about the response but if you have 25 people constantly texting you you just don't give a [ __ ] that's why guys and girls find people into them much more when they're dating like I'm just texting her without thinking she's like and that draws so on a personality level to to become high value is to Signal you don't care on some level that's why bad boys work because Bad Boys behave like they don't care a thing that nice guys always get [Music] because option and people are attracted to what they can't have people are attracted to the chase much more than to the person so psychologically interactions work opposite of what the truth is if you were a high value person I would say mix extremely Charming chivalrous Behavior like opening the door and like you know pulling her chair with absolute nonsense and I don't care conversation and it'll the word is fuse her electric light bulb of her mind flirting what is this Enigma because some sometimes he gives attention to all these small details and then he does not even give a [ __ ] about the big ones and what is happening and the chase is automatically created but I don't recommend this I advise this but I don't [Laughter] you used this word Charisma and this is like the word of the Year 2023 R yeah and how to get for people who are watching to why do the unnatural when the obvious is in front of you right like why do why complicate this simple sort of decision in life right I feel also ishan and this is sort of a meta confession I feel like I'm coming off age where these questions and I don't mean this as a insult at all where they are no longer as interesting to me as they were when I started youtubing so I don't delve into all the technicalities as much cont but see body your money or success is coming in the way then focus on that right I've always found a time I was a student struggling to finish my chartered accountancy a time I was a student in America with very limited budgets right because it is already a budget to send you there and keep you there I had no problem dating I had no problem dating cuz Charisma existed luckily touchwood you know with God's grace with the right company and the right sort of mentorship but whatever the point is charisma is a combination of having fun because at the end of the day people just care to have fun fundamental so having fun is very important number two is dropping a mix between hot and cold signals because confusion is or rather mystery is the birthplace of Seduction and and three being completely non-judgmental this is probably the trickiest thing to pull off in most conversation but if you can manage to be completely non-judgmental seduction is one step away and I don't mean just sexual seduction I mean like interpersonal seduction where the other person feels completely relaxed around you so all in all it's a combination of a few things and even if you master one of these things all the others kind of get compensated for I've met I've had friends who had one or the other of this and it works like magic so one of my closest friends one of the most um handsome men I've known in my life right his name is hardic shout out hardic hardik's a charm around the ladies it is so difficult to separate hardic from women right and I think what works very well for him is zero judgment hardic operates in the goldilock zone of zero judgment he doesn't even judge his own stupidity he's perfectly fine being himself because the labels you use to judge others is is like the labels you use to judge others is the same label you use to judge yourself if you say he does not judge himself right then I have another friend whose name I cannot take because he's somewhat important in some other places not on the internet I have never met somebody more fun than him at all like fun levels CR uhuh Atlantic City Atlantic City is a gambling City blackj Atlantic City Atlantic Ocean so like things would escalate to a point where it would not make sense right and then I've had people who can throw in hot and cold signals so brilliantly that that works like a charm as well in a sort of a rising environment right each of these skills is applicable to different contexts like I think the non-judgmental skill is applicable to any context the having fun skill is applicable to short-term hookups and that kind of right okay see the I'm giving away too many Secrets but the best kind of hookups happen and you can confirm this with a woman when the it was sooth H it just it just automatically went there like and we never had to make a choice that it's going there there was no huh right that works in that case and hot and cold signals work in like you know toxic relationship so all these have different sort of appeals these techniques um I prefer having the non-judgmental plus a little bit of fun um kind of a situation because I found hot and cold signals don't produce long-term nothing involved in the game and that's just you're treating them like [ __ ] and it's no longer fun you don't respect them all of this long explanation [Laughter] day one of trying and and uh when I tell them what the answers to these questions are teachers or adults will be like huh and the real question I have to them is you're in a sexless marriage right and why I'm being mean or harsh is because people don't want to talk about this and they want to keep this hidden and then they face the own outcomes of this strategy bro the amount of [ __ ] that we engage in because sex is inaccessible is tremendous civilization EMS it is independent of this desire for sex so that they can actually indulge in life for the sake of it truth m unless there is a psychosexual revolution that happens at the level of the individual in college and in high school nothing is truthful because secretly instagr come on bro get get rid of that move forward come on and be truthful you know you know enough Founders Founders are very glorified and with all due respect they're [ __ ] great people but so many Founders just want female attention yeah true they begin for that reason right like and so I know a friend all the is this really funny I'm just telling you so why don't we just get rid of that so much corruption on the spiritual and the material Level exists because of this reason look at Harvey Weinstein look at the me too movement look at all of that why does that exist because men particularly are parged for sex and women are parged for real intimacy so why does all this nonsense in the female sexual culture exists no doubt right because of the same reason they don't know how how to create relationships beautiful women will always get options but relationships they'll play games then they'll get lost in those games they'll think the games are real then they'll wake up be like all men are trash and men do the same they get lost and trying to attract a woman it never happens all women are trash this is the dynamic we've created we've taken one half of the human spirit and separated it from the other half and then we want it to remain that way MERS historically famous mmin mattress H there is a mattress incident very famously out of Columbia even though that was a whole scandal in its own way but for 99.999% it's all good bro people behave in a very healthy fairly respectful manner with each other around sex yeah yeah what is so bad about it why do we have to create such a taboo around the most Basic Instinct that humans have that created you and I why can't we just be open about it for once why does a father never sit his son down and be like and so this is where it begins this is not just it there's many things like this we never decide to discuss sex is the most striking it's the most Sensational oh sex right but think about the relationship between a father and a son which is always complicated sah relationships which are always complicated why don't we talk about it tell me about friendships what what is a great friendship for you where I can sit and [ __ ] on somebody for as long as I want and they don't mind they understand that this comes from Love H right um where I can I said this on a podcast and the clip got viral I where I can leave money and the women of my family with them without a worry in my mind somebody who's willing to kill and die my fundamental biological level [Laughter] done for Life your friends for life but but frankly what creates friendships is shared experience be that shared past future I don't know if you came across that in my book I speak extensively about right so shared reality will create friendship either when you share a past millionaire founder right um but what is the mark of a great friendship is the ability to hurt each other without it meaning anything [Music] you are more me than I am me you are more this generation than anybody else's this generation mhm so you know those are acquaintances and in fact as you grow up the tragedy of time is such that all friendships look more and more like transactions and therefore only or rather the friends you make when you are young are purer friendships yeah right that's why you just asked me that have have I made friends when I was little yeah well look I think in your case because you were moving around quite a bit you'll still make friends and frankly the fewer the friends the better it is in some way way but [Music] um for number of reasons is an example they run this company called eent gaming shout out eent gaming and am an great guys right um apur who currently manages me um Aur and I have been friends since we were 19 right moment assignment but like like you have all my friends in America if you ever meet them and you know they sometimes do see in America people who like my content will this that can I get a picture so that is what creates matab and nonlab friendships the younger you are the more innocent you are and the more innocent you are the likelier you to have a better friendship there's another thing that I'm realizing right now because now my friends are graduating from college someone is getting a job someone is starting a startup cont and now the reason for us to meet is reducing and I used to meet them almost every month that was happening a lot and he joined his consulting company and now he he called me he was like and I went to Malaysia Bali for his birthday over there when when he was there and we were like at the all my friends getting married 5 years down the line all my friends will have kids right given especially struggler especially if you are working your way up in the material world you're going to be more busy right it's a given the only real tragedy is that time is passing and you can do nothing about it [Music] the real tragedy is that time is passing and you can do nothing about it conversely if you see time parents would love to go travel and they would take me with then it stopped happening because I acquired my own life me it's at 20 you want to leave your house at 30 you want to come back home I'm near 30 and I'm coming back home now I'm back home and now I'm done with sort of having 10 years of wild life now I want to travel with them but age so you're also losing contact with your friends right around the time you turn 30 the interesting thing that begins to happen that 20 year olds particularly people who are influenced by you will not understand because you sort of advocate for young success is that your life only begins roughly when you touch 30 before that it's all just video games like even you no matter what success you have by the time you're 30 like I remember when I was 22 I was a complete buffoon not that I'm not now but I was a complete idiot so imagine where you're going to be when you're 30 good or bad right you're looking to get married or already married having kids or already having kids now you need to invent a life of your own so I was at a friend's place beautiful apartment he was showing me the apartment we go to different rooms he shows me this is the Mand this is that this is my parents room then he takes me to the most beautiful room in the apartment he's like this is my room and it struck me I was like shouldn't would it be your parents' room but no he's 30 this is his house he bought it and so now the rules are his and he gets the best best room in the apartment and this begins to happen when you're 30 and this is where life truly truly Begins the life you will be with for the next 20 25 30 years at least so all in all what I'm trying to say is so for instance AI Ori Florentine shout out genius Straight Up Genius like the only other the only second guy I met at psychological concerns as a psychiatrist I'll talk to you so we have a reason to talk and whatever you do intellectually which I am I have some understanding of in media you send to me so I can review now there is a reason for that conversation to happen because with Perry as much as I love him and as much as I'll always be screaming his name on podcasts or videos or streams that I do because he truly shaved me into becoming who I am today I really think he could be VI ramaswami times 2 he's that caliber right we don't talk anymore it's very difficult to get a hold of him or him to get a hold of me because there's no common ground to talk jugu who I lived with for many years complete opposite of Perry crazy crazy idiot very little reason to talk but Alex who was not my roommate lived somewhere else we do some writing work together we're writing my next book together so as long as you have a project with somebody there is reason to interact you change the games over which you interact when you were a kid it's cricket or football then you grow up a little older it's probably girls or it's probably partying or it's one of those things then you grow a little older some people have a poker phase because you know you start making money and you want to do something with money so you start playing poker that's quite common in tier one cities we had a poker phase then it's business then it's projects and that's what I tell my friends let's do something together so there's a reason to meet otherwise like 60 70 we look back we'll have crystal clear photos and videos of how we were at 20 a GH old friends Simon and I've been friends with him since I was one we've been we the same age we are our birthdays are one month apart we always did everything together and he's a super high achiever he won national fresh face guitarist musician goodlooking right runs a company that's worth more crads than any of us can count like all this good [ __ ] right and then I have my small little um right so him and I but what was I beginning with this is half my life but yeah man like him and I we share the most honest friendship I can have with anyone like literally he'll be like I'm so sad I did not get the sneaker I was like bro if buying things could make you happy You' be the happiest person in the world he's like Bro you've got to stop being this honest with me fantasy you do that to people I was like bro you are 30 you're 28 29 technically and you drive a Porsche you think buying a sneaker is going to make you happy stop kidding yourself haha of course I do that to people like people who are close to me are sure I'm very annoying to them reality [Laughter] checko I'll read it for you right H there were terms love bombing benching cuffing ghosting woke fishing bread crumbing situationships let's let's guess let's guess let's guess what this means from the top because I'm not sure what they mean but I have an idea so what's the first one you said love bombing the first one I said Is Love bombing love bombing love bombing probably means and tell me if I'm right throwing excessive love fairly un opportunistically at the other person right for the second one is Ben the point is the point is do you know the answer to all of all of them I guess is pretending to be woke to fish for women or men huh yeah yeah it's pretty simple and very common this is all of Colombia all of the entire University is doing that the the thing is that people in the comments they like my generation was simpler there were no such things it was very simple why do you think all of these things are there because there was no language but effectively you were doing the same [ __ ] that's love bombing strategy langage sure because they've begun to see patterns that have existed for Generations so stop pretending like they're different is just too expressive now no they just have language there not even expressive the means of communication are easier to text I remember there was a time school when nokas were a thing right like Ione right all of this has existed forever right signal signaling false signaling like all of this has forever existed all of the dance that leads up to a relationship or intimacy is performance that is why I said start with the rawest version of yourself because don't perform lowest expect you have to per everyone knows you in India and he's like I love it he said I love it right yeah obviously he loves it he said that he loves it and then he says that I am a myth to the name called Shah ruk Khan yeah yeah something like that he said he's Hostage to it to some degree as well which he might enjoy right but yeah like all this stuff has always existed situation like right like I love you niola like that kind of that that nonsense has forever existed this is scope normal this is scope yeah this is scope for everybody who's like oh this generation is this you were the same wake up you were literally the same in that time m how long are you there is some changes that happen and those changes are not individual those are macr cultural factors exactly like the prevalence of internet and what that means that means we are in a constant performance environment time I'm a politician constant cam complete transparency AG performance maintain so the only difference now is that the performance is more permanent right there is some macro cultural factors that have transformed macroeconomic factors India is richer so people go on more dates right like Starbucks right there's some differences like that but individual psychology is coded over millions of years of evolution these strategies by all these strategies all of them you can literally find biological literature describing it biology May evolutionary biology insexual signaling proper technical terms because I was very interested all of this is known phenomena bro buying an expensive car is called a zahavian signal which means I can drop $5 million and still not care and it comes [Music] from it's almost like which means I'm so strong I don't need to use two hands it's a handicap principle peing is a very common word I wear clothes that attract attention so that I don't have to go talk to people all of this [ __ ] exists bro yeah it's not new and I think people should stop pretending like it's new to make themselves feel better than this generation youve just gotten old when people say that yeah generation you are admitting to the fact that you're old why would you do that I want to now marry you he's a promise ring that I'm giving to you and and and and I just don't want to be your wife I want to explore people I want to meet people like for real huh anyway huh and real viral Instagram right and and like you know and then then they end up having like open relationship in that series and but the point is this is actually happening with a lot of people at my age ke when it comes to marriage they want to explore options to a more long-term commitment then they like freedom like my parents sometimes watch this [ __ ] for real but yeah again this is not like this was not happening 6 years ago right like this was happening forever yeah people could have been more scared back in the day but really like this is non new bro this is non new with a few alterations this has always existed one way or the other so now for instance you can say concept was roughly actually but like you'll find n number of examples of this this is non so then what do you do then no one wants to commit it's like bro like let's be real you're a guy you find a catch you would want to hold her down you're a girl you you find a catch you want to hold her down now look at but they don't want to be held they want to be free go then be free whenever you're ready come back and we'll see where I'm at like really the only person complaining is a person with a lack of options and a person who's fooled themselves into thinking long I'm in a long distance right now right last she was in India she'll be inia right what is thisse sense of security you need explore [Laughter] so see bro there's a certain age to non to sort of exploration I will say this however the commoditization of sex is real sex has become commodity and how has that become commodity through your dating apps right where sex is earlier sex was a longer fight anywhere in the world right India May much longer rest of the world also longer now it's a swipe so the other person is not their personality it is the sex appeal in their pictures and the funny onliners in their bio we started off by putting our best lives on Instagram now we think the lives we live on Instagram is real we have convinced ourselves and so the other person is convinced larger point I'm trying to dive is sex is commoditized and people think there is something to sexual Liberation which is which will be lost if they get too old before experiencing it so I say do it now what are you waiting for sexual Liberation yeah go [ __ ] have as much sex as you want go run do it there is costs to this by the way both for men and women how does it affect you well men find it hard to pair bond after that and so do women yeah it it becomes very harder it's much harder to be monogamous after and I know this from a lot of secondhand experience like a lot of friends who had trouble being like body count issues yeah yeah yeah so like there is a problem to that and honestly speaking very soon in your sexual Liberation you realize the holess of it like of course it's fun and you should explore it if you want to no problem but you don't need 100 people to realize within the first 20 you like bro frankly interestings these days these days all men are trash instr com Instagram comments is the birthplace of virtue signaling on the internet now that's literally it com right no they're hilarious but Instagram comments the need for you to be likeand oh my God you need a job like for real I agree right like some all humor is basically some kind of being mean to someone else right like at least the funniest form of humor to me but the motivation behind doing that that requires a motivation and you have to acknowledge where it's coming from within yourself as far as others it is coming from a place of wanting people to see you sentiment common wow I have not had a long conversation like this with anyone on podcast hey man tell me are you going to come on a date with me after this or what have I successfully have I successfully raised a 22y old boy you have you have it's it's 7:50 right now 9:00 let's advocate for bisexuality my time your [Laughter] place there was a preit Bala world and a post arpit Bala world and we live in a post arpit Bal I arpit made see arpit is the same genre of people as myself and VRA and Carri or he's just out there no yeah yeah he he's his own person but buts is very unique once in a generation talent in my view as far as comedy is concerned right but he's faridabad he's DPS farad he's that same group there's everyone from Anu to ATI are sober people like you know not to include them in the same group as myself and the wide spectrum yeah yeah it's a huge and everybody's interesting in farad bro VI bindra hey off camera but I actually met him recently at my brother's wedding surprisingly I was about to meet him at an event and then you know and then uh it did not end up happening due to some logistical reason yeah I'll meet him soon say podcast but he's also faridabad there's so many people in faridabad bro it's it's an ongoing River of creators somehow like you would have thought I'm guaranteeing like it is this generation that keeps giving somehow who would have thought right fight huh of course bro Fight Club we the middle children of history no purpose of place there are no great no Great War no Great Depression yep our Great War is our spiritual war yep our Great Depression is our lives yep how do you fight that war and how do you so this is Chuck palan's most popular work if you know Chuck palanu even a little more than Fight Club you will realize he is de facto one of the most original writers of our time listen to Chuck palano on jogan I've done a stream actually where I was watching Clips with people of Chuck palan bro the stuff he tells you it's just insane fight Club is not even the beginning of it and people love Fight Club for its reality so the quote and we will redo the quote he says we are the middle children of History right there are no great Wars and no Great Depression our Great War is a spiritual war and our Great Depression is our lives yeah right you have to understand this in historical context so if you look at what is happening until from the beginning of 1700s like you can start at whichever point is there a preferred point to begin up to you so around the 1500s let's just go 500 years ago Renaissance is happening Europe is rediscovering its culture Europe is like oh my God right but more individually nobody's seen the world the great Voyages of the 16th and the 17th and the 18th century are about to happen where the Dutch the French the Portuguese the English somewhat the Germans all get on ships the Spanish all get on ships and go out and explore the world the new world which is not North America and South America is found this time it is found it's called New Found land I think one of the places in Greenland is called that the point is this is the moment in history where first they ReDiscover their own Spirit after the plague the black plague or something that happens in Europe that wipes out onethird of the population level of settlement modern world world and its interconnectedness begins there then all of the 19th century is spent on acquiring and trading territories so South America gets acquired by the Spanish and the Portuguese somewhat the Dutch North America is a Dutch territory and an English territory right India is a British colony um parts of China um Britain is trading with Indonesia is something Africa is Francophile and anglophile all of this is happening this results in the first world war in 1914 to 1919 I think that's the first world war so up until after the first world war there's temporary peace and then there's a second world war after the second world war there is a de facto War which is the Cold War that ends up until the 1991 1991 is also incidentally when India opens up liberalization liberalization and it's also the moment when South Africa gets free 1994 or something so the effects of colonization which began after the Renaissance which began after the black plague which begins after the the Christian Crusades and so on ends up in the early 2000s and it ends up with this event called the Y2K which is the birth of the computer and the fusing of everything and all information around the world Chuck palan is writing around this time where he says that all great movements in history have come to somewhat to close there is another person who's talking about some version of this actually there are two people who are hold that question so there are two people who are talking about the end of history as a phenomena sorry this is a little long-winded but you need to completely understand the intellectual context behind this Frederick hiel I think Frederick higel I think so Frederick higuel is a German idealist philosopher that predates Carl Marx and communism who G gives the concept of the movement of History till the point history is completed and he says history is completed or Mark says history is completed when all people have achieved social and economic Liberation but heuel says history is complete when all people have achieved spiritual or Guist Guist is the German word for Spirit liberation Frederick Frederick fredi I'm confusing first names haek is also a thinker who speaking of this in economic terms so end of history is around and a lot of people have spoken about it and we see this with the fall of the Soviet Russia that the world becomes a unipolar world and America is in dominance and all wars are settled and suddenly we arrive after a great movement of 1,000 years into this moment where suddenly there is no macro cultural or macroeconomic forces at play except capitalism and consumerism now everything will make sense so we are the middle children of History we exist between two Wars we don't have any great Wars to fight there are no great depressions MH economic depression we have none of that our Great War is a spiritual war because through this 1,000 year motion of end of History we've arrived at a place where our spirit is lost we don't know who we are we don't understand who we are our Great Depression is a what is the last line our Great Depression is a is our lives is our lives so our Great Depression is the fact that we are alive and all of this and if you look at the broader theme of Fight Club it's about consumerism Edward who's the main guy Edward Edward something I forget his name the main character alterego Brad uh catalog consuming consuming consuming and the alter ego of this guy breaks him out and says consumption mindset say biological Roots figure out who you truly are and who you truly are is the allseeing all knowing [ __ ] of the world you are the all dancing all singing crap of this world I think and so the entire movie is a coming back to your roots kind of a phenomena for men and all of it begins with with violence as far as Chuck palan is concerned so this is what it means we are without macro cultural macroeconomic forces that drive the direction of our life so we are left to our own devices and so our life has become depressive the only War we are left with is the one within that is what he's saying but but what is next how do we survive how do we win this war you are getting into spiritual sensibilities again you want to get into that time but effectively you stop fighting you stop wrestling you wake up I gave you the answer a little while ago you realize you're about to die see the reason why this might resonate with the male part of you but not with the Indian part of you is because the Indian cultural unconscious which is the Indian background of behavior has nothing to do with this the Indian mind has been awake to spiritual doors forever right and throughout this 10,000 year period all all India is saying is that you about to die you're about to die wake up so the this is what I meant also when I said Americans don't get spirituality they consume spirituality right to win the spiritual war you real realiz there's nothing to fight there's only waking up to do and the way you wake up is by realizing the Eternal truth of impermanence and once you realize that not intellectually inside your body once you see actually H impermanent or experience metaphors right should they read they want to knowledge ends and wisdom begins WID samadi samadi centered samadi awareness um effectively effectively. number one influencer just so that people know because it is the driest coldest most direct method to understand what I'm saying up silence May without stimulus so no phone no TV no Reading Writing no talking no talking no talking not even making eye contact Andi to look inside to wake up to understand who you truly are you begin to learn in that silence mob Behavior mob Behavior you realize this when you you begin the process the Journey Begins see V is the only door like I said earlier right prayer there's many ways right vasna is the coldest driest it's like a boot camp it's like an army boot camp for losing weight there is no way that you will not see some version of Truth there is no way you will not lose some [Music] weight there's been many Masters if you think about there's been many cagh we take what these Masters have said and corrupt it for our own pleasure and for our own devices and so the most unobstructed way to arrive at spiritual let's say the The Source the gang of spiritual truth is Buddha's No Nonsense because Jesus is not saying something radically different you know you know then it all begins to make sense Buddha had the most non nonsense because he was like right [Music] very often you're too lost in your own trip you're too deep in your own forest story brahi bhagan brahi he got seduced by his own creation and then you know from there you're going to die what matters in life for you musty musty Nasha Kumar Kumar um the metaphor I prefer to use here is of [Music] umut nut so look at dancing is a metaphor dancing is probably the only art form where the dance and the dancer are one when you are such that you are the dance as well as the dancer that is the essence the answer is it's an Escape it's it's not an escape it's an attempt to find yourself it's not an escape it's literally the attempt to find yourself does that work I'm coming to it think about orgasms orgasm is a brief moment where the orgasm and the orgasma are not separate you are in flow with that feeling you are in the da as loudu would say that's all we are looking for does that work no but neither does meditation all see this is Advanced but all methods are in fact traps right that is why all religions became more performance than they were substance relig perance the meth became the prison if you truly look at the depths of spirituality you don't necessarily need meditation meditation is a very clean way vas is the probably the cleanest meditation to get there but right and so what I'm arriving at is alcohol works less than meditation but meditation doesn't work either none of these things work they're all methods they're all ways of recognizing truth MH they're not the answer but best time to the podcast because I him advice my God oh or this is a completely different plane of Consciousness let's just say it's a very different way of being altogether and so I'm exploring the nuances of this uh my last vasna experience which actually ended only a month from today was some of the most enlightening things I've ever been through and that actually produced this version of me that is today insane yeah man tell me about your relationship with your father it's great he's my best friend I'm so happy he's my father man God damn it he is probably the strongest person I know and I don't mean this because he's my father because I see him as a man and I'm like how in the world are you like this Papa if you're ever listening to this thank you really you've done it well and I've always fought with my father and I often say you know when people ask me bro MH buto because beautiful parents [ __ ] Fighters bro both of them I have great relationship with my family and I have more than one father I have a father his best friend who's his business partner we live together I treat him like a father figure so I have many fathers and all three of them are very interesting and very unique in their own ways and none of them ever really bother with listening to anything I say but it's okay I'm happy being their son so my relationship with my father is great and it's well earned from both sides because he had trouble adjusting to the son he had created you know when we would fight I'd tell him right but like what would you adopt when you get into that satra would say John Paul satra French novelist and philosopher child is the father of man it is literally true in my case and my father is proud of it but as far as reasoning as far as arguments as far as putting up a hard fight is concerned I'm two times him I'm undefeated when it comes to him orual Clarity or insane articulation ability he doesn't stand a chance in an argument he has zero chance he knows that so you you I would decimate argue with your dad yeah but I've learned how yeah I've learned how to do it better initially it was punching and like Sparks and jagra up it is comical up it is just I'll give you an example personal but just say my girlfriend's not Indian right and things are kind of picking up speed within families for marriage and whatever oh getting married hopefully you know we'll find out um but it looks like you know we are both very serious we've spoken to our families also so it's beginning to happen so [Music] M but initially it was like and now it is much more understanding of where he's coming from so it's much more comical and it's more about releasing the tension than creating more tension so yeah I argue with my father and I'm glad I do and I do it very well and I think he appreciates it um and yeah man I think I have a great relationship very blessed to have a father like him he taught me who he made me who I am today in so many ways with and without trying what is the one question you would ask prakar Gupta if you were in my [Laughter] shoes um I don't know bro what would I ask myself like I see I have a privileged access seriously but um literally atast this is the background looks don't matter only if you're pretty fny doesn't matter only if you're rich sure and what do you think of it what do I think just because you realize a truth on the other side of it does not make it any any degree untrue on this side you definitely realize that looks don't matter once you're pretty you definitely realize money doesn't matter once you're rich and it is the most obvious Next Step because you're like to show a young person spirituality is completely an insane job because you understand yeah there is a reason why buddh set out to become enlightened or Jesus was some degree a king there is a reason why Ram was a king Krishna was a king there is a reason because literal back story origin story there is a reason mhm so um it is true but it's very hard to convince somebody who does not have it that it's not true yeah so I always suggest go make your money go become pretty only that doesn't matter that I had sufficient money and I was born with decent genes to realize this right Hard Times create strong men strong men create weak times weak times create hard weak no strong men create bad times bad times create weak men weak men create Hard Times yeah yeah yeah we are in that stage of no weak men becoming you are more in that stage personally think about itag let's say Focus now you've create hard times have created strong isan strong ishan makes money again money com this is describing the way life works and yeah or Society also this is true socially also you can see in the fall of Rome you can see it in the current fall of America the way you know Society is inflicted but yeah it's more a personal anecdote than anything else so what to do about it how to how to not become weak [Laughter] Jago that has been the I think the main theme of this podcast that we've been talking about again take you into but if we'll have to go into a 20-minute spiritual understanding right like but is material understanding is don't get weak understand that this is coming for you don't get weak stay focused be a rich be a poor man in a rich man's body first generation be a rich be a poor man in a rich man's body and you will always be more conservative hard circumstances pain is always more true than pleasure epic epic I think that was it I'm so glad we did this yes we did it this was the most sexy conversation I've had in a while this was this was good I I meant it as a joke I meant it as a joke and I was hoping this would be more funny than it was but I guess art of conversation don't shut uput yeah yeah get my get my [ __ ] dude get my [ __ ] I'm always telling you the truth believe in consumerism fall into capitalism spend your money over and over to satisfy that part of your ego that cannot be satisfied right fall into the loop of never feeling complete and fill it up with people like myself and the [ __ ] we say to make you happy fall into the loops of entertainment that come from Hollow words that don't mean [ __ ] and at theend end of the day subscribe to prar prachan buy don't shut up get into art of conversation if you want to learn more and frankly if none of this if like jokes aside if there's something serious you want to do and you're over 18 check out vashna check out vasna thank you for watching peace we'll see you in the next one yep good