Well, if Allah has created a barrier somewhere, it probably means He doesn't want it to be. But do you understand that? No, you don't.
Why don't you? Because you don't know the meaning of the simple dua that you repeat, known as dua of istikhara. People come and say, Shaykh, please tell us how to do istikhara.
So the Shaykh says, Well, you do this, you pray in this way, you read this particular supplication, and then you ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's guidance. and then you see what happens. So everyone knows, they read the dua, they do whatever prayers they have to, and they're waiting. Waiting for what?
What do you normally wait for? A sign. What's the sign usually? Can someone say it loudly? A dream.
A dream. Did you hear that? A dream.
Go back and read the meaning of that dua. It has nothing to do with the dream. You said, oh Allah, if this is good for me, my deen, my future, my akhira, then make it easy for me, facilitate it for me, and give me barakah and blessings in it.
What did you say? Make it easy for me, grant me blessings in it. Make it, facilitate it for me.
That's what you said. You didn't say, oh Allah, if it is good for me, then show me green. Well, I can tell you if you turn around there, there are quite a few green lights.
Do you know what they're depicting? Exit. Wallahi, the green there, it says exit.
There's a guy running away. And there are quite a few of them in this hall. MashaAllah.
So green doesn't always mean go for it. Sometimes it means get out. Right?
You didn't ever say, oh Allah. If this thing is good for me, show me green in my dreams. So you get up the following morning, I'm feeling so good.
I was on a horse galloping through the beautiful mountains of Wales. MashaAllah. And I saw a castle there. And MashaAllah, there was Rapunzel with her hair. Subhanallah.
And I was there calling, what are you talking about man? Istikhara? Are you for real?
Istikhara? And your parents are against it, and all the roads are blocked and everything. is sealed listen to the rest of the dua the dua says oh allah if it is not good for me in your knowledge because you know and i don't know and if it is not good for my faith and my connection with you and my livelihood and my future and my akhira then turn it away from me turn me away from it block me from it block it from me and make me happy with the decree you've chosen for me that's what you're saying So the roads are all blocked. That's a sign that Allah doesn't want it to happen.
So people might say, well, when do I recognize the sign? Have you tried your best? Yes, you have. You've tried to explain? Yes.
You've tried to talk? Yes. You've tried to say whatever?
Yes. Is nobody convinced? Is there no movement this way? No, in fact, the movement is the other way.
They're becoming threatening. They're doing this. Well, then close the door and move on. But I can't and I won't. Sometimes you can't and you won't.
because your relationship with that person has already gone so far that you're embarrassed to pull back. Don't be. Still pull back. Don't worry.
Never mind. Whatever it was, you can still pull back. It's probably Allah telling you, do you know what?
Rather now than later. No, but I can't. You can. But I can't. You can.
Allah make it easy. We do not have whatever we want on earth. At times we have to compromise.
You can't always have everything you want. Sometimes you have to compromise even for big things. Allah knows the type of children you are going to have from the person that you want to.
be with and he knows that's not going to be a good thing for you so do you know what as much as the guy might be a decent guy but you know what we want you to have beautiful kids who are going to be the coolness of your eyes so therefore we'd like you to get married to another person altogether but no I'm not saying don't try to achieve what you want. No, you do try. You could involve scholars, you could involve people, especially when you are right and those blocking you are wrong. But sometimes you haven't considered things because let's face reality. We didn't live with the person.
The only thing we know about them is because we saw them at work or saw them at school And when we saw them, we only saw the common factors Wait until you go home and you see how they work, the hierarchy of the pharaoh, subhanallah And then you're like, gosh, is this your home? Is this really your house? Are you sure?
Is that your father? Oh wow, okay Next day you don't even go to work Subhanallah It can happen So you've got to involve someone To meet, to see Where am I going to stay? Who are the people I'm going to meet?
Mixed with what's what's the whole situation if i'm going to be all on my own it makes life easier If i'm going to be with a whole group of people none of them like me Wallahi, what do you want to do in that home? What do you want to do in that home when nobody in the entire home that you will be living in physically even want to look At your face. What on earth do you think you're getting yourself into?
But face reality we'll still see No, that's the only thing I want. Subhanallah. No sooner do you get into it than you realize that, you know what, this is the biggest mistake I've made. But now we'll tell you, you can still get out. You can still come out.
It's okay. It's not like we're promoting divorce, but we're telling you, if you recognize the red flags one after the other, do you know what? Don't think that you're going to convert them into something else.
Get help. So this topic will go on and on and on because you know we face reality. The reality is we have interacted with people of different cultures, different communities.
MashaAllah, many times if they're second generation, third generation, it becomes easier because the norms... are similar and people then begin to understand a specific type of life so they would be able to live in in such a way that if you were to go if you're a person from some ethnic background living in the western country third fourth generation if you were to go back to your ethnic roots to look for a spouse chances are You probably wouldn't get along with someone of your own ethnicity and culture coming from back home in a way that you would with someone from a totally different background who grew up with you and lived in your midst. Chances are. So Islam does not teach you to differentiate and distinguish between races and so on and so forth. But Islam says recognize and acknowledge the differences respectfully.
We recognize the difference in language, not in order to discriminate, in order to acknowledge and appreciate. My beloved brothers and sisters, if you do istikhara, to consult with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for anything and especially for your marriage then if you see that Allah didn't make things easy rather he made the things more difficult then the sign is Allah doesn't want this to happen so when Allah doesn't want something to happen then it's better for you to stay away from it many a time we become stubborn and we even severe the ties with our family members we break the relationship with our siblings with our parents with our guardians and a lot of things happen which becomes even more detrimental so try to have trust in Allah and when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala makes it easy for you when Allah makes things easy for you when everything goes on the correct path then the sign is Allah wants it to happen. So you can move forward with that.
But if things get difficult and complicated and nobody wants it to happen, then it's better you stop it there because that is good for you. May Allah give us good understanding of this din. May Allah give everyone righteous spouse.
May Allah give everyone righteous kids. May Allah give people a happy family. May Allah forgive our shortcomings. And may Allah grant us Jannatul Faradah wa Sala'ala.
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