this girl wearing a gold G apparatus someone needs to go to next year's Met Gala as a ribosome food Falls onto floor bacteria match begins in five yeah bacteria just get on right away they just hop on they don't wait they make contact instantly they're like what I imagine working in urology is like Dr Wiggles weer yes but without the ice cream butter is such a superfood that it has its own Penthouse in the fridge oh my God it doesn't just have a penthouse it has a penthouse with a view and also there's apparently like a way to keep your butter inside water that keeps air out of it or something or keeps it soft it's too complicated I need like an astrophysicist to come on and help me with that do you think butter is a super food I think it's more of a villain food oh super villain food super villain food I have good news and I have bad news Well doctor give me the good news first the good news is is in for the patient in waiting room too oh no why why does the patient have such a little head I'm concerned about the size of the head and the knee squareness putting on gloves alone in front of other doctor yo it's easy to panic and you know what makes it worse hands get sweaty when your hands are sweaty it's harder to put on a rubber glove and forget about it if they have those like vinyl gloves it's game over because those they're just tearing and when you tear one the nerves get even worse that you're going to tear two three and four do not eat aluminum or you'll sheet metal oh that's good I would change it though do not eat aluminum or your stool will smell like metal cuz there's blood in it and blood has iron in it much funnier right way funnier and accurate and also that's a doughnut shop Snow White Snow White being intubated but why was he intubating her was he needing to protect her Airway was her glasow Coma Scale lower than eight because of it's lower than eight you intubate if not free health care maybe add supported healthare I never thought about that like my doctor can stop in the middle of examining me and sing the Liberty Mutual jingle liberty liberty liberty liy I'm surprised that's not happening like you know NASCAR drivers have uh have logos like everywhere on their car all the real estate on the charlot Hornet exactly exactly so like at what point do doctors just start renting out space on their scrubs ship station H there's a universe inside of you this is definitely tuberculosis this is definitely ground glass appearance and I'm concerned and there's an Universe of something inside of you when you have ground glass appearance potentially an infection I don't think tuberculosis that's a cavitating lesion where you would have a single solitary lesion that looks like this my God it's a radiology course inside of a meme review when you try to swallow a pill but it doesn't go down and is now dissolving in your mouth oh I hate that feeling no no no that's bad and I absolutely do struggle with this but you know what's worse oh there's water in this bottle let me take my pill put pill in said mouth pill starts dissolving no water in here because you ran out you didn't realize and now the pill is just sitting there in your tongue jacuzzi simmering in there because the temperature of your mouth is around 98° 99° which is what the jacuzzi is like and in a Jacuzzi you tend to simmer in there in the warmth and you slowly disintegrate and your skin treles up that's what kind of What's Happen happening to the pill don't tell me you're okay you're not okay I can smell the hurt inside you don't walk away talk to me beware of emotional support dog this is actually one of the top dog comics I've ever seen and bears an emotional support dog bear where are you I'm suffing this is the other emotional support animal he's grown a lot since the last video who's a big tummy Jack Links oops all moisture pets oh that's funny and it's ironic that there's moisture packets that say do not eat in a package of food that you will eat you would think that they would uh find a unique way to deal with this problem hospitals when I donate a kidney hospitals when I donate 30 kidneys yeah where are you getting kidneys from when the two cans of monster you just slammed are making your heartbeat too fast so you have a beer and a Xanax to bring it back down again Health please do not become your own chemist where you start playing with your health even uh the combination of alcohol and cocaine creates a substance known as coca ethylene which is so toxic to our bodies and lasts for much longer don't don't do that when you have a date right after surgery oh my God are those high heels underneath pesto Bismol with garlic I don't think that would help it upset stomach I think that might irritate it oh this is great Photoshop though this is p pesto you heard of Al on a sh get ready for Skeleton on a peltin and the jaw is quite literally dropping chest compressions are useless and it's better to wait for medical professionals to come help about to get very unhappy you're about to get very unhealthy no they're not useless they buy you time in order for medical professionals to get there so if you're alone you better be calling for help first if you're not alone youd ask someone to call for help while you start doing the chest compressions cuz the faster you get to doing chest compressions and the longer you stay doing them the better the chance the person has to be brought back to life by Advanced cardiac life support my sister is about to have a baby and my brother showed up to the hospital in a suit because First Impressions matter maybe your brother is making a move on some of the employees that work in a hospital they're holding down a steady job they're very interesting they deal in high pressure situations he's just thinking about his dating life oh maybe he was doing it for the baby too women choosing a deodorant cherries passion for fruit vanilla men choosing a deodorant F16 sharks War yeah that's like the whole thing behind Axe Body Spray which by the way is not only ridiculous how much we used to put it on ourselves in high school like literally we're just like and it it was so bad it was probably so unhealthy for our lungs and you know what I used to do as a kid this is not recommended I would take one of those like long lighters and shoot the ax spray at it and I thought that was so cool until I realized it could explode on me not recommend it recommend that no no doing that a year in the gym versus 2 weeks out of the gym why does it feel like that and you know what's funny I've been out of the gym for like a decent amount of time and I need to get back in and I need motivation so please if you want to leave me a motivating comment it would help dilation pumpkins made by midwives at a hospital disturbing but funny oh that's actually pretty helpful we actually have a kit for this that looks like this to teach residents and students about different dilations and we're talking about cervical relation by the way giving birth isn't as painful as being kicked in the nuts have you had a baby no but over the years women say let's have another one I never hear a man saying come on hit me the nuts again clearly you've never watched steo on jackass how long will you guys leave out a glass of water in your house and still drink it it's not like it goes bad but after a while it's weird right no no no it goes bad just because the glass was washed does not mean there's no bacteria in it bacteria kind of flows up in the air so like the water allows the bacteria to multiply anything where there's moisture bacteria can multiply please don't drink old soggy bacteria flavored water I just poured this like an hour ago this fresh and actually this is from Harvard so you know your boy got credit for going to the Harvard Kennedy School and doing a talk about [Music] something keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain due to all the indor fins endorphins I was like 2 seconds too late there's definitely endorphins there's definitely some kind of visual effect of the lights and the fish and all the stuff the colors chai child pothole pothole sound it out children or Chipotle like whether or not you want to have children or Chipotle that's right basically do you want a food baby or real baby there you go woo wooo we're halfway there wooo ah this is one of those memes isn't it a lemon pear a pear on a lemon lemon on a pear lemon Top Lemon pear top pear Top Lemon uh lemon head Citrus Citrus sweet sour sweet kids what are they called sour sweets sour P sour P Sour Patch Kids you you messed up everything hold on a second this has something need to do with the song we're halfway there we're almost there I don't know the you actually already said the answer so the song goes whoa we're halfway there whoa we're living on a pair four 11 on a pair there we go yeah anesthesia was invented in 1846 doct 1845 knocking you the out I don't know what they did they had to have done something they probably got you drunk or something probably something terrible God some of the things we did in the past were terrible actually click here to watch a video of me reacting to some of the most horrific devices that we used in the past as always stay happy and healthy [Music]