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The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene - Preface Notes

The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene preface thousands of years ago power was mostly gained through physical violence and maintained with brute strength there was little need for subtlety a king or Emperor had to be merciless only a select few had power but no one suffered under this scheme of things more than women they had no way to compete no weapon at their disposal that could make a man do what they wanted politically socially or even in the home of course men had one weakness their insatiable desire for sex a woman could always toy with this desire but once she gave in to sex the man was back in control and if she withheld sex he could simply look elsewhere or exert Force what good was a power that was so temporary and frail yet women had no choice but to submit to this condition there were some though whose hunger for power was too great and who over the years through much cleverness and creativity invented a way of turning the dynamic around creating a more lasting and effective form of power these women among them Bathsheba from the Old Testament Helen of Troy the Chinese siren she sure and the greatest of them all Cleopatra invented seduction first they would draw a man in with an alluring appearance designing their makeup and adornment to Fashion the image of a goddess come to life by showing only glimpses of Flesh they would tease a man's imagination stimulating the desire not just for sex but for something greater chance to possess a fantasy figure once they had their victims interest these women would lure them away from the masculine world of war and politics and get them to spend time in the feminine world a world of luxury spectacle and pleasure they might also lead them astray literally taking them on a journey as Cleopatra lured Julius Caesar on a trip down the Nile men would grow hooked on these refined sensual Pleasures they would fall in love but then invariably the women would turn cold and indifferent confusing their victims just when the men wanted more they found their Pleasures withdrawn they would be forced into Pursuit trying anything to win back the favors they once had tasted and growing weak and emotional in the process men who had physical force and all the Social Power men like King David the Trojan Paris Julius Caesar Mark Anthony King fuchai would find themselves becoming the slave of a woman in the face of violence and brutality these women made seduction a sophisticated art the ultimate form of power and persuasion they learned to work on the Mind first stimulating fantasies keeping a man wanting more creating patterns of Hope and despair the essence of Seduction their power was not physical but psychological not forceful but indirect and cunning these first great seductresses were like military generals planning the destruction of an enemy and indeed early accounts of Seduction often compare it to battle the feminine version of warfare for Cleopatra it was a means of consolidating an Empire in seduction the woman was no longer a passive sex object she had become an active agent a figure of power with a few exceptions the Latin poet Avid the medieval Troubadours men didn't much concern themselves with such a frivolous art as seduction then in the 17th century came a great change men grew interested in seduction as a way to overcome a young woman's resistance to sex history's first great male seducers the Duke de Losa the different Spaniards who inspired the Don Juan Legend began to adopt the methods traditionally employed by women they learned to dazzle with their appearance often androgynous in nature to stimulate the imagination to play the Coquette they also added a new masculine element to the game seductive language for they had discovered a woman's weakness for soft words these two forms of Seduction the feminine use of appearances and the masculine use of language would often cross gender lines Casanova would Dazzle a woman with his clothes would charm a man with her words at the same time that men were developing their version of Seduction others began to adapt the art for social purposes as Europe's feudal system of government faded into the past courtiers needed to get their way in court without the use of force they learned the power to be gained by seducing their superiors and competitors through psychological games soft words a little cookery as culture became democratized actors dandies and artists came to use the tactics of Seduction as a way to charm and win over their audience and social milieu in the 19th century another great change occurred politicians like Napoleon consciously saw themselves as seducers on a grand scale these men depended on the art of seductive oratory but they also mastered what had once been feminine strategies staging vast spectacles using theatrical devices creating a Charged physical presence all this they learned was the essence of charisma and remains so today by seducing the masses they could accumulate immense power without the use of force today we have reached the ultimate point in the evolution of Seduction now more than ever force or brutality of any kind is discouraged all areas of social life require the ability to persuade people in a way that does not offend or impose itself forms of Seduction can be found everywhere blending male and female strategies advertisements insinuate the Soft Cell dominates if we are to change people's opinions an affecting opinion is basic to seduction we must act in subtle subliminal ways today no political campaign can work without seduction since the era of John F Kennedy political figures are required to have a degree of Charisma a fascinating presence to keep their audience's attention which is half the battle the film world and media create a galaxy of seductive stars and images we are saturated in the seductive but even if much has changed in degree and scope the essence of Seduction is constant never be forceful or direct instead use pleasure as bait playing on people's emotions stirring desire and confusion inducing psychological surrender in seduction as it's practiced today the methods of Cleopatra still hold people are constantly trying to influence us to tell us what to do and just as often we tune them out resisting their attempts at persuasion there is a moment in our lives however when we all act differently when we are in love we fall under a kind of spell our minds are usually preoccupied with our own concerns now they become filled with thoughts of the loved one we grow emotional lose the ability to think straight act in foolish ways that we would never do otherwise if this goes on long enough something inside us gives way we surrender to the will of the loved one and to our desire to possess them seducers are people who understand the tremendous power contained in such moments of surrender they analyze what happens when people are in love study the psychological components of the process what Spurs the imagination What casts a spell by Instinct and through practice they Master the art of making people fall in love as the First seductresses new it is much more effective to create love than lust a person in love is emotional pliable and easily misled the origin of the word seduction is the Latin for to lead astray a person in lust is harder to control and once satisfied May easily leave you seducers take their time create enchantment and the bonds of love so that when sex ensues it only further enslaves the victim creating love and enchantment becomes the model for all seductions sexual social political a person in love will surrender okay it's pointless to try to argue against such power to imagine that you are not interested in it or that it's evil and ugly the harder you try to resist the lure of Seduction as an idea as a form of power the more you will find yourself fascinated the reason is simple most of us have known the power of having someone fall in love with us our actions gestures the things we say all have positive effects on this person we may not completely understand what we've done right but this feeling of power is intoxicating it gives us confidence which makes us more seductive we may also experience this in a social or work setting one day we're in an elevated mood and people seem more responsive more Charmed by us these moments of Power are fleeting but they resonate in the memory with great intensity we want them back nobody likes to feel awkward or timid or unable to reach people the siren Call of Seduction is irresistible because power is irresistible and nothing will bring you more power in the modern world than the ability to seduce repressing the desire to seduce is a kind of hysterical reaction revealing your deep down fascination with the process you are only making your desires stronger someday they will come to the surface to have such power doesn't require a total transformation in your character or any kind of physical Improvement in your looks seduction is a game of psychology not Beauty and it's within the grasp of any person to become a master at the game all that is required is that you look at the world differently Through The Eyes of a Seducer a Seducer doesn't turn the power off and on every social and personal interaction is seen as a potential seduction there's never a moment to waste this is so for several reasons the power seducers have over a man or woman Works in Social environments because they have learned how to tone down the sexual element without getting rid of it we may think we see through them but they are so pleasant to be around anyway that it doesn't matter trying to divide your life into moments in which you seduce and others in which you hold back will only confuse and constrain you erotic desire and love lurk beneath the surface of almost every human encounter better to give free reign to your skills than try to use them only in the bedroom in fact the Seducer sees the world as his or her bedroom this attitude creates great seductive momentum and with each seduction you gain experience and practice one social or sexual seduction makes the next one easier your confidence growing and making you more alluring people are drawn to you in greater numbers as the seducer's aura descends upon you seducers Have A Warrior's outlook on life they see each person as a kind of Walled Castle to which they are laying Siege seduction is a process of penetration initially penetrating the target's mind their first point of Defense once seducers have penetrated the mind making the target fantasize about them it's easy to lower resistance and create physical surrender seducers don't improvise they don't leave this process to chance like any good General they plan and strategize aiming at the target's particular weaknesses the main obstacle to becoming a Seducer is this foolish Prejudice we have of seeing love and romance as some kind of sacred magical realm where things just fall into place if they are meant to this might seem romantic and quaint but it's really just a cover for our laziness what will seduce a person is the effort we expend on their behalf showing how much we care how much they are worth leaving things to Chance is a recipe for disaster and reveals that we don't take love and romance very seriously it was the effort Casanova expended the artfulness he applied to each Affair that made him so devilishly seductive falling in love is a matter not of magic but of psychology once you understand your Target's psychology and strategize to suit it you will be better able to cast a magical spell a Seducer sees love not as sacred but as Warfare where All is fair seducers are never self-absorbed their gaze is directed outward not inward when they meet someone their first move is to get inside that person's skin to see the world through their eyes the reasons for this are several first self-absorption is a sign of insecurity it is anti-seductive everyone has insecurities but seducers manage to ignore them finding therapy for moments of self-doubt by being absorbed in the world this gives them a buoyant Spirit we want to be around them second getting into someone's skin imagining what it's like to be them helps the Seducer gather valuable information learn what makes that person tick what will make them lose their ability to think straight and fall into a trap armed with such information they can provide focused and individualized attention a rare commodity in a world in which most people see us only from behind the screen of their own prejudices getting into the target's skin is the first important tactical move in the war of penetration seducers see themselves as providers of pleasure like bees that gather pollen from some flowers and deliver it to others as children we mostly devoted Our Lives to play and pleasure adults often have feelings of being cut off from this paradise of being weighed down by responsibilities The Seducer knows that people are waiting for pleasure they never get enough of it from Friends and Lovers and they cannot get it by themselves a person who enters their lives offering adventure and romance cannot be resisted pleasure is a feeling of being taken past our limits of being overwhelmed by another person by an experience people are dying to be overwhelmed to let go of their usual stubbornness sometimes their resistance to us is a way of saying please seduce me seducers know that the possibility of pleasure will make a person follow them and the experience of it will make someone open up weak to the touch they also train themselves to be sensitive to pleasure knowing that feeling pleasure themselves will make it that much easier for them to infect the people around them a Seducer sees all of life as theater everyone and actor most people feel they have constricted roles in life which makes them unhappy seducers on the other hand can be anyone and can assume many roles the archetype here is the god Zeus insatiable Seducer of young maidens whose main weapon was the ability to assume the form of whatever person or animal would most appeal to his victim seducers take pleasure in performing and aren't weighed down by their Identity or by some need to be themselves or to be natural this freedom of theirs this fluidity in body and spirit is what makes them attractive what people lack in life is not more reality but illusion fantasy play the clothes that seducers wear the places they take you to their words and actions are slightly heightened not overly theatrical but with a delightful edge of unreality as if the two of you were living out a piece of fiction or were characters in a film seduction is a kind of theater in real life the meeting of Illusion and reality finally seducers are completely amoral in their approach to life it is all a game an arena for play knowing that the moralists the crabbed repressed types who croak about the evils of the Seducer secretly Envy their power they do not concern themselves with other people's opinions they don't deal in moral judgments nothing could be less seductive everything is pliant fluid like life itself seduction is a form of deception but people want to be led astray they yearn to be seduced if they didn't seducers wouldn't find so many willing victims get rid of any moralizing Tendencies adopt the seducer's playful philosophy and you will find the rest of the process easy and natural The Art of Seduction is designed to arm you with weapons of persuasion and charm so that those around you will slowly lose their ability to resist without knowing how or why it's happened it is an Art of War for delicate times every seduction has two elements that you must analyze and understand first yourself and what is seductive about you and second your Target and the actions that will penetrate their defenses and create surrender the two sides are equally important if you strategize without paying attention to the parts of your character that draw people to you you will be seen as a mechanical Seducer slimy and manipulative if you rely on your seductive personality without paying attention to the other person you will make terrible mistakes and limit your potential consequently The Art of Seduction is divided into two parts the first half the seductive character describes the nine types of Seducer plus the anti-seducer studying these types will make you aware of what is inherently seductive in your character the basic building block of any seduction the second half the seductive process includes the 24 Maneuvers and strategies that will instruct you on how to create a spell break down people's resistance give movement and force to your seduction and induce surrender in your target as a kind of bridge between the two parts there is a chapter on the 18 types of victims of a seduction each of them missing something from their lives each cradling and emptiness you can fill knowing what type you are dealing with will help you put into practice the ideas in both sections ignore any part of this book and you will be an incomplete Seducer the ideas and strategies in The Art of Seduction are based on the writings and historical accounts of the most successful seducers in history the sources include the seducer's own Memoirs by Casanova Errol Flynn Natalie Barney Marilyn Monroe biographies of Cleopatra Josephine Bonaparte John F Kennedy Duke Ellington handbooks on the subject most notably ovid's art of love and fictional accounts of seductions Dangerous Liaisons Soren kierkegaards the seducer's diary Murasaki shikibuz the tale of Genji the heroes and heroines of these literary works are generally modeled on real life seducers the strategies they employ reveal the intimate connection between fiction and seduction creating illusion and leading a person along in putting the book's lessons into practice you will be following in the path of the greatest masters of the art finally the spirit that will make you a consummate Seducer is the spirit in which you should read this book The French writer deniedero once wrote I give my mind the Liberty to follow the first wise or foolish idea that presents itself just as in the Avenue de Foie are dissolute youths follow close on the heels of some strumpet then leave her to pursue another attacking all of them and attaching themselves to none my thoughts are my strumpets he meant that he let himself be seduced by ideas following whichever one caught his fancy until a better one came along his thoughts infused with a kind of sexual excitement once you enter these Pages do as didero advised let yourself be lured by the stories and ideas your mind open and your thoughts fluid slowly you will find yourself absorbing the poison through the skin and you will begin to see everything as a seduction including the way you think and how you look at the world a quotation by laklow from on the education of women translated by Lydia Davis in The Libertine reader edited by Michelle Fair oppression and Scorn thus were and must have been generally the share of women in emerging societies this state lasted in all its Force until centuries of experience taught them to substitute skill for force women at last sensed that since they were weaker their only resource was to seduce they understood that if they were dependent on men through Force men could become dependent on them through pleasure more unhappy than men they must have thought and reflected earlier than did men they were the first to know that pleasure was always beneath the idea that one formed of it and that the imagination went farther than nature once these basic truths were known they learned first to Veil their charms in order to awaken curiosity they practiced the difficult art of refusing even as they wished to consent from that moment on they knew how to set men's imagination of fire they knew how to arouse and direct desires as they pleased thus did Beauty and love come into being now the lot of women became less harsh not that they had managed to liberate themselves entirely from the state of Oppression to which their weaknesses condemned them but in the state of Perpetual war that continues to exist between women and men one has seen them with the help of the caresses they have been able to invent combat ceaselessly sometimes Vanquish and often more skillfully take advantage of the forces directed against them sometimes too men have turned against women these weapons the women had forged to combat them and their slavery has become all the harsher for it much more genius is needed to make love than to command armies accuba speaking about Helen of Troy in euripides the Trojan women translated by Neil Curry Menelaus if you are really going to kill her then my blessing go with you but you must do it now before her looks so twist to the strings of your heart that they turn your mind for her eyes are like armies and where her glances fall their cities burn until the dust of their ashes is blown by her size I know her Menelaus and so do you and all those who know her suffer no man hath it in his power to overrule the deceitfulness of a woman Marguerite of Navarre a quotation by Alexander Von gleichen Russ form the world's lure translated by Hannah Waller this important Side Track by which women succeeded in evading man's strength and establishing herself in power has not been given due consideration by historians from the moment when the woman detached herself from the crowd an individual finished product offering Delights which could not be obtained by force but only by flattery the reign of loves priestesses was inaugurated it was a development of far-reaching importance in the history of civilization only by the circuitous route of the art of Love could woman again assert Authority and this she did by asserting herself at the very point at which she would normally be a Slave at the man's Mercy she had discovered the might of lust the secret of the art of love the Demonic power of a passion artificially aroused and never satiated Force thus Unchained was thenceforth to count among the most tremendous of the world's forces and at moments to have power even over life and death the deliberate spellbinding of man's senses was to have a magical effect upon him opening up an infinitely wider range of sensation and spurring him on as if impelled by an inspired dream from the art of Love by Ovid translated by Peter Green the first thing to get in your head is that every single girl can be caught and that your catcher if you set your toils right birds will sooner fall dumb in springtime cicadas in summer or a hunting dog turn his back on a hair then a Lover's Bland inducements can fail with a woman even one you suppose reluctant will want it from on Love by Jose Ortega Gazette translated by Toby Talbot the combination of these two elements enchantment and surrender is then essential to the love which we are discussing what exists in love is surrender due to enchantment from the Antichrist by Friedrich Nietzsche translated by R.J hollingdale what is good all that heightens the feeling of power the will to power power itself in man what is bad all that proceeds from weakness what is happiness the feeling that power increases that a resistance is overcome from seduction by jean-baudryard the disaffection Neurosis anguish and frustration encountered by psychoanalysis comes no doubt from being unable to love or to be loved from being unable to give or take pleasure but the radical disenchantment comes from seduction and its failure only those who lie completely outside seduction are ill even if they remain fully capable of loving and making love psychoanalysis believes it treats the disorder of sex and desire but in reality it is dealing with the disorders of Seduction the most serious deficiencies always concern charm and not pleasure enchantment and not some vital or sexual satisfaction from Beyond Good and Evil Friedrich Nietzsche translated by Walter Kaufman whatever is done from love always occurs Beyond Good and Evil from the art of Love by Ovid translated by Peter Green should anyone here in Rome lack finesse at lovemaking let him try me read my book and results are guaranteed technique is the secret charioteer sailor oarsman all need it technique can control love himself most virtue is a demand for greater seduction Natalie Barney part one the seductive character we all have the power of Attraction the ability to draw people in and hold them in our thrall far from all of us though are aware of this inner potential and we imagine attractiveness instead as a near mystical trait that a select few are born with and the rest will never command yet all we need to do to realize our potential is understand what it is in a person's character that naturally excites people and develop these latent qualities within us successful seductions rarely begin with an obvious maneuver or strategic device that is certain to arouse suspicion successful seductions begin with your character your ability to radiate some quality that attracts people and stirs their emotions in a way that is beyond their control hypnotized by your seductive character your victims won't notice your subsequent manipulations it will then be Child's Play to mislead and seduce them there are nine Seducer types in the world each type has a particular character trait that comes from deep within and creates a seductive pull Sirens have an abundance of sexual energy and know how to use it rakes insatiably adore the opposite sex and their desire is infectious ideal lovers have an aesthetic sensibility that they apply to romance dandies like to play with their image creating a striking and androgynous Allure Naturals are spontaneous and open coquettes are self-sufficient with a fascinating cool at their core Charmers want and know how to please they are social creatures charismatics have an unusual confidence in themselves stars are ethereal and envelop themselves in mystery the chapters in this section will take you inside each of the nine types at least one of the chapters should strike a chord you will recognize Part of Yourself that chapter will be the key to developing your own powers of attraction let us say you have coquettish Tendencies the Coquette chapter will show you how to build upon your own self-sufficiency alternating heat and coldness to ensnare your victims it will show you how to take your natural qualities further becoming a grand Coquette the type we fight over there's no point in being timid with a seductive quality we are Charmed by an unabashed rake and excuse his excesses but a half-hearted rake gets no respect once you have cultivated your dominant character trait adding some art to what Nature has given you you can then develop a second or third trait adding depth and mystery to your persona finally the sections 10th chapter on the anti-seducer will make you aware of the opposite potential within you the power of repulsion at all cost you must root out any anti-seductive Tendencies You may have think of the nine types as Shadows silhouettes only by stepping into one of them and letting it grow inside you can you begin to develop the seductive character that will bring you Limitless power the siren a man is often secretly oppressed by the role he has to play by always having to be responsible in control and rational the siren is the ultimate male fantasy figure because she offers a total release from the limitations of his life in her presence which is always heightened and sexually charged the male feels transported to a world of pure pleasure she is dangerous and in pursuing her energetically the man can lose control over himself something he yearns to do the siren is a mirage she lures Men by cultivating a particular appearance and manner in a world where women are often too timid to project such an image learn to take control of the male libido by embodying his fantasy the spectacular siren in the year 48 BC Ptolemy the 14th of Egypt managed to depose and Exile his sister and wife Queen Cleopatra he secured the country's borders against her return and began to rule on his own later that year Julius Caesar came to Alexandria to ensure that despite the local power struggles Egypt would remain loyal to Rome one night Caesar was meeting with his Generals in the Egyptian Palace discussing strategy when a guard entered to report that a Greek Merchant was at the door bearing a large and valuable gift for the Roman leader Caesar in the mood for a little fun gave the merchant permission to enter the man came in carrying on his shoulders a large rolled up carpet he undid the Rope around the bundle and with a snap of his wrists unfurled it revealing the young Cleopatra who had been hidden inside and who rose up half clothed before Caesar and his guests like Venus emerging from the waves everyone was dazzled at the sight of the beautiful young Queen only 21 at the time appearing before them suddenly as if in a dream they were astounded at her daring and theatricality smuggled into the harbor at night with only one man to protect her risking everything on a bold move no one was more Enchanted than Caesar according to the Roman writer diocasius Cleopatra was in the prime of life she had a delightful voice which could not fail to cast a spell over all who heard it such was the charm of her person and Her speech that they drew the coldest and most determined misogynist into her toils Caesar was Spellbound as soon as he set eyes on her and she opened her mouth to speak that same evening Cleopatra became Caesar's lover Caesar had had numerous Mistresses before to divert him from the rigors of his campaigns but he had always disposed of them quickly to return to what really thrilled him political Intrigue the challenges of warfare the Roman Theater Caesar had seen women try anything to keep him under their spell yet nothing prepared him for Cleopatra one night she would tell him how together they could revive the glory of Alexander the Great and rule the world like gods the next she would entertain him dressed as the Goddess Isis surrounded by the opulence of her Court Cleopatra initiated Caesar in the most decadent revelries presenting herself as the Incarnation of the Egyptian exotic his life with her was a constant game as challenging as Warfare for the moment he felt secure with her she would suddenly turn cold or angry and he would have to find a way to regain her favor the weeks went by Caesar got rid of all Cleopatra's Rivals and found excuses to stay in Egypt at one point she led him on a lavish historical Expedition down the Nile in a boat of unimaginable Splendor towering 54 feet out of the water including several terrorist levels and a pillared temple to the god Dionysus Caesar became one of the few Romans to Gaze on the pyramids and while he stayed long in Egypt away from his throne in Rome all kinds of turmoil erupted throughout the Roman Empire when Caesar was murdered in 44 BC he was succeeded by a triumvirate of rulers including Mark Anthony a brave soldier who loved pleasure and spectacle and fancied himself a kind of Roman Dionysus a few years later while Anthony was in Syria Cleopatra invited him to come meet her in the Egyptian town of Tarsus there once she had made him wait for her her appearance was as startling in its way as her first before Caesar a magnificent gold barge with purple sails appeared on the river's sidness the oarsmen rode to the accompaniment of ethereal music all around the boat were beautiful young girls dressed as nymphs and mythological figures Cleopatra Sat On Deck surrounded and fanned by Cupids and posed as the goddess Aphrodite whose name the crowd chanted enthusiastically like all of Cleopatra's victims Anthony felt mixed emotions the Exotic Pleasures she offered were hard to resist but he also wanted to tame her to defeat this proud and illustrious woman would prove his greatness and so he stayed and like Caesar fell slowly under her spell she indulged him in all of his weaknesses gambling raucous parties elaborate rituals lavish spectacles to get him to come back to Rome Octavius another member of the Roman triumvirate offered him a wife octavius's own sister Octavia one of the most beautiful women in Rome known for her virtue and goodness she could surely keep Anthony away from the Egyptian [ __ ] the ploy worked for a while but Anthony was unable to forget Cleopatra and after three years he went back to her this time it was for good he had in essence become Cleopatra's slave granting her immense Powers adopting Egyptian dress and customs and renouncing the ways of Rome only one image of Cleopatra survives a barely visible profile on a coin but we have numerous written descriptions she had a long thin face and a somewhat pointed nose her dominant features were her wonderfully large eyes her seductive power however did not lie in her looks indeed many among the women of Alexandria were considered more beautiful than she what she did have above all other women was the ability to distract a man in reality Cleopatra was physically unexceptional and had no political power yet both Caesar and Anthony Brave and clever men saw none of this what they saw was a woman who constantly transformed herself Before Their Eyes a one-woman spectacle her dress and makeup changed from day to day but always gave her a heightened goddess-like appearance her voice which all writers talk of was lilting and intoxicating her words could be banal enough but were spoken so sweetly that listeners would find themselves remembering not what she said but how she said it Cleopatra provided constant variety tributes mock battles Expeditions costumed orgies everything had a touch of drama and was accomplished with great energy by the time your head lay on the pillow beside her your mind was spinning with images and dreams and just when you thought you had this fluid Larger than Life woman she would turn distant or angry making it clear that everything was on her terms you never possessed Cleopatra you worshiped her in this way a woman who had been exiled and destined for an early death managed to turn it all around and rule Egypt for close to 20 years from Cleopatra we learn that it is not beauty that makes a siren but rather a theatrical streak that allows a woman to embody a man's fantasies a man grows bored with a woman no matter how beautiful he yearns for different pleasures and for adventure all a woman needs to turn this around is to create the illusion that she offers such variety and Adventure a man is easily deceived by appearances he has a weakness for the visual create the physical presence of a siren heighten sexual Allure mixed with a Regal and Theatrical Manner and he is trapped he cannot grow bored with you yet he cannot discard you keep up the distractions and never let him see who you really are he will follow you until he drowns the sex siren Norma Jean Mortensen the future Marilyn Monroe spent part of her childhood in Los Angeles orphanages her days were filled with chores and no play at school she kept to herself smiled rarely and dreamed a lot one day when she was 13 as she was dressing for school she noticed that the white blouse the orphanage provided for her was torn so she had to borrow a sweater from a younger girl in the house the sweater was several sizes too small that day suddenly boys seemed to gather around her wherever she went she was extremely well developed for her age she wrote in her diary they stared at my sweater as if it were a gold mine the Revelation was simple but startling previously ignored and even ridiculed by the other students Norma Jean now sensed away to gain attention maybe even power for she was wildly ambitious she started to smile more wear makeup dress differently and soon she noticed something equally startling without her having to say or do anything boys fell passionately in love with her my admirers all said the same thing in different ways She Wrote it was my fault they're wanting to kiss me and hug me some said it was the way I looked at them with eyes full of passion others said it was my voice that lured them on still others said I gave off vibrations that floored them a few years later Marilyn was trying to make it in the film business producers would tell her the same thing she was attractive enough in person but her face wasn't pretty enough for the movies she was getting work as an extra and when she was on screen even if only for a few seconds the man in the audience would go wild and the theaters would erupt in cat calls but nobody saw any Star Quality in this one day in 1949 only 23 at the time and her career at a standstill Monroe met someone at a diner who told her that a producer casting a new Groucho Marx movie lovehappy was looking for an actress for the part of a blonde bombshell who could walk by Groucho in a way that would in his words arouse my elderly libido and cause smoke to issue from my ears talking her way into an audition she improvised this walk it's May West Theater Bara and Bo Peep all rolled into one said Groucho after watching her saunter by we shoot the scene tomorrow morning and so Marilyn created her Infamous walk a walk that was hardly natural but offered a strange mix of innocence and sex over the next few years Maryland taught herself through trial and error how to heighten the effect she had on men her voice had always been attractive it was the voice of a little girl but on film it had limitations until someone finally taught her to lower it giving it the Deep breathy tones that became her seductive trademark a mix of the little girl and the vixen before appearing on set or even at a party Marilyn would spend hours before the mirror most people assumed this was vanity she was in love with her image the truth was that image took hours to create Marilyn spent years studying and practicing the art of makeup The Voice the walk the face and look were all constructions an act at the height of her Fame she would get a thrill by going into bars in New York City without her makeup or glamorous clothes passing unnoticed success finally came but with it came something deeply annoying to her the studios would only cast her as the blonde bombshell she wanted serious roles but no one took her seriously for those parts no matter how hard she downplayed the siren qualities she had built up one day while she was rehearsing a scene from the Cherry Orchard her acting instructor Michael Chekhov asked her were you thinking of sex while we played the scene and she said no he continued all through our playing of the scene I kept receiving sex vibrations from you as if you were a woman in the grip of passion I understand your problem with your studio now Marilyn you are a woman who gives off sex vibrations no matter what you are doing or thinking the whole world has already responded to those vibrations they come off the movie screens when you're on them Marilyn Monroe loved the effect her body could have on the male libido she tuned her physical presence like an instrument making herself reek of sex and gaining a glamorous Larger than Life appearance other women knew just as many tricks for heightening their sexual appeal but what separated Maryland from them was an unconscious element her background had deprived her of something critical affection her deepest need was to feel loved and desired which made her seem constantly vulnerable like a little girl craving protection she emanated this need for love before the camera it was effortless coming from somewhere real and deep inside a look or gesture that she did not intend to arouse desire would do so doubly powerfully just because it was unintended its innocence was precisely what excited a man the sex siren has a more urgent and immediate effect than the spectacular siren does the Incarnation of sex and desire she doesn't bother to appeal to extraneous senses or to create a theatrical buildup her time never seems to be taken up by work or chores she gives the impression that she lives for pleasure and is always available what separates the sex siren from the courtesan or [ __ ] is her touch of innocence and vulnerability the mix is perversely satisfying it gives the male the critical illusion that he is a protector the Father Figure although it is actually the sex siren who controls the dynamic a woman doesn't have to be born with the attributes of a Marilyn Monroe to fill the role of the sex siren most of the physical elements are a construction the key is the heir of schoolgirl innocence while one part of you seems to scream sex the other part is koi and naive as if you were incapable of understanding the effect you are having your walk your voice your manner are delightfully ambiguous you are both the experienced Desiring woman and the innocent gameen your next encounter will be with the Sirens who bewitch every man that approaches them for with the music of their song the Sirens cast their spell upon him as they sit there in a meadow piled high with the mouldering skeletons of men whose withered skin still hangs upon their bones Cersei to Odysseus in The Odyssey Book 12. keys to the character the siren is the most ancient seductress of them all her prototype is the goddess Aphrodite it is her nature to have a Mythic quality about her but don't imagine she is a thing of the past or of Legend and history she represents a powerful male fantasy of a highly sexual supremely confident alluring female offering endless pleasure and a bit of danger in today's world this fantasy can only appeal the more strongly to the male psyche for now more than ever he lives in a world that circumscribes his aggressive Instincts by making everything safe and secure a world that offers less chance for adventure and risk than ever before in the past a man had some outlets for these drives Warfare the high seas political intrigue in the sexual realm courtesans and Mistresses were practically a social institution and offered him the variety and the chase that he craved without any Outlets his drives turn inward and gnaw at him becoming all the more volatile for being repressed sometimes a powerful man will do the most irrational things have an affair when it is least called for just for a thrill the danger of it all the irrational can prove immensely seductive even more so for men who must always seem so reasonable if it is seductive power you are after the siren is the most potent of all she operates on a man's most basic emotions and if she plays her role properly she can transform a normally strong and responsible male into a childish slave the siren operates well on the rigid masculine type the soldier or hero just as Cleopatra overwhelmed Mark Anthony and Marilyn Monroe Joe DiMaggio but never imagine that these are the only types the siren can affect Julius Caesar was a writer and thinker who had transferred his intellectual abilities onto the battlefield and into the political Arena playwright Arthur Miller fell as deeply under Monroe's spell as dimangio the intellectual is often the one most susceptible to the siren Call of pure physical pleasure because his life so lacks it the siren doesn't have to worry about finding the right victim her magic works on one and all first and foremost a siren must distinguish herself from other women she is by nature a rare thing Mythic only one to a group she is also a valuable prize to be rested away from other men Cleopatra made herself different through her sense of high drama the empress Josephine bonaparte's device was her extreme lingerousness Marilyn Monroe's was her little girl quality physicality offers the best opportunities here since a siren is preeminently a sight to Behold a highly feminine and sexual presence even to the point of caricature will quickly differentiate you since most women lack the confidence to project such an image once the siren has made herself stand out from others she must have two other critical qualities the ability to get the male to pursue her so feverishly that he loses control and a touch of the dangerous danger is surprisingly seductive to get the male to pursue you is relatively simple highly sexual presence will do this quite well but you must not resemble a courtesan or [ __ ] whom the male May pursue only to quickly lose interest in her instead you are slightly Elusive and distant a fantasy come to life during the Renaissance the great Sirens such as Tulia daragona would act and look like Grecian goddesses the fantasy of the day today you might model yourself on a film goddess anything that seems Larger than Life even awe-inspiring these qualities will make a man chase you vehemently and the more he chases the more he will feel he is acting on his own initiative this is an excellent way of disguising How Deeply you are manipulating him the notion of danger challenge sometimes death might seem outdated but danger is critical in seduction it adds emotional spice and is particularly appealing to men today who are normally so rational and repressed danger is present in the original myth of the siren in Homer's Odyssey the hero Odysseus must sail by the Rocks where the sirens strange female creatures sing and beckon Sailors to their destruction they sing of the glories of the past of a world like childhood without responsibilities a world of pure pleasure their voices are like water liquid and inviting Sailors would leap into the water to join them and drown or distracted and entranced they would steer their ship into the rocks to protect his Sailors from the sirens Odysseus has their ears filled with wax he himself is tied to the Mast so he can both hear the sirens and live to tell of it a strange desire since the thrill of the sirens is giving in to the temptation to follow them just as the ancient Sailors had to row and steer ignoring all distractions a man today must work and follow a straight path in life the call of something dangerous emotional unknown is all the more powerful because it is so forbidden think of the victims of the great Sirens of History Paris causes a war for the sake of Helen of Troy Caesar risks an Empire and Anthony loses his power and his life for Cleopatra Napoleon becomes a laughing stock over Josephine DiMaggio never gets over Maryland and Arthur Miller can't write for years a man is often ruined by a siren yet cannot tear himself away many powerful men have a masochistic streak an element of danger is easy to hint at and will enhance your other siren characteristics the touch of Madness in Maryland for example that pulled men in Sirens are often fantastically irrational which is immensely attractive to men who are oppressed by their own reasonableness an element of fear is also critical keeping a man at a proper distance creates respect so that he doesn't get close enough to see through you or notice your weaker qualities create such fear by suddenly changing your moods keeping the man off balance occasionally intimidating him with capricious Behavior the most important element for an aspiring siren is always the physical the siren's main instrument of power physical qualities Ascent a heightened femininity evoked through makeup or through elaborate or seductive clothing act all the more powerfully on men because they have no meaning in their immediacy they bypass rational processes having the same effect that a decoy has on an animal or the movement of a cape on a bowl the proper siren appearance is often confused with physical Beauty particularly the face but a beautiful face does not a siren make instead it creates too much distance and coldness neither Cleopatra nor Marilyn Monroe the two greatest sirens in history were known for their beautiful faces although a smile and an inviting look are infinitely seductive they must never dominate your appearance they are too obvious and direct the siren must stimulate a generalized desire and the best way to do this is by creating an overall impression that is both distracting and alluring it is not one particular trait but a combination of qualities The Voice clearly a critical quality as the legend indicates the siren's voice has an immediate animal presence with Incredible suggestive power perhaps that power is regressive recalling the ability of the mother's voice to calm or excite her child even before the child understood what she was saying the siren must have an insinuating voice that hints at the erotic more often subliminally than overtly almost everyone who met Cleopatra commented on her delightful sweet sounding voice which had a mesmerizing quality the empress Josephine one of the great seductresses of the late 18th century had a langerous voice that men found exotic and suggestive of her Creole Origins Marilyn Monroe was born with her breathy childlike voice but she learned to lower it to make it truly seductive Lauren Bacall's voice is naturally low its seductive power comes from its slow suggestive delivery siren never speaks quickly aggressively or at a high pitch her voice is calm and unhurried as if she had never quite woken up or left her bed body and adornment if the voice must low the body and its adornment must Dazzle it is with her clothes that the siren aims to create the goddess effect that baudelaire described in his essay In Praise of makeup woman is well within her rights and indeed she is accomplishing a kind of Duty in striving to appear magical and Supernatural she must astonish and bewitch an idol she must Adorn herself with gold in order to be adored she must borrow from all of the Arts in order to raise herself above nature the better to subjugate hearts and stir Souls a siren who was a genius of clothes and adornment was Pauline Bonaparte sister of Napoleon Pauline consciously strove for a goddess effect fashioning hair makeup and clothes to evoke the look and air of Venus the goddess of love no one in history could boast a more extensive and elaborate wardrobe Pauline's entrance at a ball in 1798 created an astounding effect he asked the hostess Madame permo if she could dress at her house so no one would see her clothes as she came in when she came down the stairs everyone stopped dead in stunned silence she wore the headdress of a bakant clusters of gold grapes interlaced in her hair which was done up in the Greek style her Greek tunic with its gold embroidered hem showed off her goddess-like figure below her breasts was a girdle of burnished gold held by a magnificent Jewel no words can convey the loveliness of her appearance wrote The Duchess de brontes The Very Room grew brighter as she entered the whole ensemble was so harmonious that her appearance was greeted with a buzz of admiration which continued with utter disregard of all the other women the key everything must Dazzle but also be harmonious so that no single ornament draws attention your presence must be charged Larger than Life a fantasy come true ornament is used to cast a spell and distract the siren can also use clothing to hint at the sexual at times overtly but more often by suggesting it rather than screaming it that would make you seem manipulative related to this is the notion of selective disclosure the revealing of only a part of the body but a part that will excite and stir the imagination in the late 16th century Marguerite de valois the infamous daughter of Queen Catherine de medicis of France was one of the first women ever to incorporate decolletage in her wardrobe simply because she had the most beautiful breasts in the realm for Josephine Bonaparte it was her arms which she carefully always left bare movement and demeanor in the 5th Century BC King gojian chose the Chinese siren see she from among all the women of Israel to seduce and Destroy his rival fuchai king of Wu for this purpose he had the young woman instructed in the arts of seduction most important of these was movement how to move gracefully and suggestively she sure learned to give the impression of floating across the floor in her Court robes when she was finally Unleashed on Fu chai he quickly fell under her spell she walked and moved like no one he had ever seen he became obsessed with her tremulous presence her Manner and nonchalant heir fuchai fell so deeply in love that he let his kingdom Fall to Pieces allowing gojian to march in and Conquer it without a fight the siren moves gracefully and unhurriedly the proper gestures movement and demeanor for a siren are like the proper voice they hint at something exciting stirring desire without being obvious your air must be langerous as if you had all the time in the world for love and pleasure your gestures must have a certain ambiguity suggesting something both innocent and erotic anything that cannot immediately be understood is supremely seductive and all the more so if it permeates your manner dangers no matter how enlightened the age no woman can maintain the image of being devoted to pleasure completely comfortably and no matter how hard she tries to distance herself from it the taint of being easy always follows the siren Cleopatra was hated in Rome as the Egyptian [ __ ] that hatred eventually led to her downfall as Octavius and the Roman army sought to extirpate the stain on Roman manhood that she came to represent even so men are often forgiving when it comes to the sirens reputation but danger often lies in the Envy she stirs up among other women much of Rome's hatred for Cleopatra originated in the resentment she provoked among the city's Stern matrons by playing up her innocence by making herself seem the victim of male desire the siren can somewhat blunt the effects of feminine Envy but on the whole there is little she can do her power comes from her effect on men and she must learn to accept or ignore the Envy of other women finally the intense attention that the siren attracts can prove irritating and worse sometimes she will pine for relief from it sometimes too she will want to attract an attention that is not sexual also unfortunately physical Beauty Fades although the siren effect depends not on a beautiful face but on an overall impression past a certain age that impression gets hard to project both of these factors contributed to the suicide of Marilyn Monroe it takes a genius on the level of Madame de pompadour the siren Mistress of King Louis XV to make the transition into the role of the spirited older woman who continues to seduce with her non-physical charms Cleopatra had such an intellect and had she lived long enough she would have remained a potent seductress for many years the siren must prepare for age by paying attention early on to the more psychological less physical forms of coquetry that can continue to bring her power once her beauty starts to fade in conclusion here are some further Reflections on the siren from Homer's The Odyssey Book 12. in the meantime our good ship with that perfect wind to drive her fast approached the sirens Isle but now the breeze dropped some power lulled the waves and a breathless calm set in rising from their seats my men Drew in the sail and threw it into the hold then sat down at the oars and churned the water white with their Blades of polished Pine meanwhile I took a large round of wax cut it up small with my sword and needed the pieces with all the strength of my fingers the wax soon yielded to my vigorous treatment and grew warm for I had the Rays of my Lord the son to help me I took each of my men in turn and plugged their ears with it they then made me a prisoner on my ship by binding me hand and foot standing me up by the step of the Mast and tying the ropes ends to the Mast itself this done they sat down once more and struck the gray water with their oars we made good progress and had just come within call of the shore when the sirens became aware that a ship was swiftly bearing down upon them and broke into their liquid song draw near they sang illustrious Odysseus flower of a kian's chivalry and bring your ship to rest so that you may hear our voices no seamen ever sailed his black ship past the spot without listening to The Sweet Tones that flow from our lips the lovely voices came to me across the water and my heart was filled with such a longing to listen that with nod and frown I signed to my men to set me free from plutarchs makers of Rome the charm of Cleopatra's presence was irresistible and there was an attraction in her person and talk together with a peculiar force of character which pervaded her every word and action and laid all who associated with her under its spell it was a delight merely to hear the sound of her voice with which like an instrument of many strings she could pass from one language to another from jean-baudryard's de la seduction the immediate attraction of a song a voice or scent the attraction of the panther with his perfumed scent according to the Ancients the panther is the only animal who emits a perfumed odor it uses this scent to draw and capture its victims but what is it that seduces an ascent what is it in the song of the sirens that seduces us or in the beauty of a face in the depths of an abyss seduction lies in the annulment of signs and their meaning in pure appearance the eyes that seduce have no meaning they end in the Gaze as the face with makeup ends in only pure appearance the scent of the panther is also a meaningless message and behind the message the panther is invisible as is the woman beneath her makeup the sirens too remained unseen the enchantment lies in what is hidden from ovids cures for love we're dazzled by feminine adornment by the surface all gold and jewels so little of what we observe is the girl herself and where you may ask amid such plenty can our object of passion be found the eyes deceived by Love's smart camouflage from the Greek myths by Robert Graves he was hurting his cattle on Mount gargaris the highest peak of Ida when Hermes accompanied by Hira Athena an Aphrodite delivered the golden apple and Zeus's message Paris since you are as handsome as you are wise in Affairs of the heart Zeus commands you to judge which of these goddesses is the fairest so be it side Paris but first I beg the losers not to be vexed with me I am only a human being liable to make the stupidest mistakes the goddesses all agreed to abide by his decision will it be enough to judge them as they are Paris asked Hermes or should they be naked the rules of the contest are for you to decide Hermes answered with a discreet smile in that case will they kindly disrobe Hermes told the goddesses to do so and politely turned his back Aphrodite was soon ready but Athena insisted that she should remove the famous magic girdle which gave her an unfair Advantage by making everyone fall in love with the wearer very well said Aphrodite spitefully I will on condition that you remove your helmet you look hideous without it now if you please I must judge you one at a time announced Paris come here Divine Hera will you other two goddesses be good enough to leave us for a while examine me conscientiously said Hira turning slowly around and displaying her magnificent figure and remember that if you judge me the fairest I will make you Lord of all Asia and the richest man alive I am not to be bribed my lady very well thank you now I have seen all that I need to see come Divine Athena here I am said Athena striding purposely forward listen Paris if you have enough common sense to award me the prize I will make you victorious in all your battles as well as the handsomest and wisest man in the world I am a humble herdsman not a soldier said Paris but I promise to consider fairly your claim to the Apple now you are at Liberty to put on your clothes and helmet again is Aphrodite ready Aphrodite sidled up to him and Paris blushed because she came so close that they were almost touching look carefully please pass nothing over by the way as soon as I saw you I said to myself upon my word there goes the handsomest young man in phrygia why does he waste himself here in the wilderness hurting stupid cattle well why do you Paris why not move into a city and lead a civilized life what have you to lose by marrying someone like Helen of Sparta who is as beautiful as I am and no less passionate I suggest now that you tour Greece with my son Eros as your guide once you reach Sparta he and I will see that Helen Falls head over heels in love with you would you swear to that Paris asked excitedly Aphrodite uttered a solemn oath and Paris without a second thought awarded her the golden apple from Gottfried Von strasberg's Tristan to whom can I compare the lovely girl so blessed by Fortune if not to the sirens who with their lodestone draw the ships towards them thus I imagine did his older attract many thoughts and hearts that deemed themselves safe from Love's disquietude and indeed these two anchorless ships and stray thoughts provide a good comparison they are both so seldom on a straight course lie so often in unsure Havens pitching and tossing and heaving to and fro just so in the same way do aimless desire and random love longing drift like an anchorless ship This Charming young princess discrete and courteous is older Drew thoughts from the hearts that enshrined them as a lodestone draws in ships to the sound of the siren song she sang openly and secretly in through ears and eyes to where many a heart was stirred the song which she sang openly in this and other places was her own sweet singing and soft sounding of strings that echoed for all to hear through the kingdom of the ears deep down into the heart but her secret song was her wondrous beauty that stole with its rapturous music hidden and unseen Through the Windows of the eyes into many noble hearts and smoothed on the magic which took thoughts prisoners suddenly and taking them fettered them with desire from lives of the courtesans by Lynn loner falling in love with statues and paintings even making love to them is an ancient fantasy one of which the Renaissance was keenly aware Giorgio vasari writing in the introductory section of the lives about art in Antiquity tells how men violated the laws going into the temples at night and making love with statues of Venus in the morning priests would enter the sanctuaries to find stains on the marble figures The Rake a woman never quite feels desired and appreciated enough she wants attention but a man is too often distracted and unresponsive The Rake is a great female fantasy figure when he desires a woman brief though that moment may be he will go to the ends of the Earth for her he may be disloyal dishonest and amoral but that only adds to his appeal unlike the normal cautious male The Rake is delightfully unrestrained a slave to his love of women there is the added lure of his reputation so many women have succumbed to him there has to be a reason words are a woman's weakness and the rake is a master of seductive language stir a woman's repressed longings by adapting the rake's mix of danger and pleasure the Ardent rake for the court of Louis XIV the king's last years were gloomy he was old and had become both insufferably religious and personally unpleasant the court was bored and desperate for novelty so in 1710 the arrival of a 15 year old lad who is both devilishly handsome and Charming had a particularly strong effect on the ladies his name was fronsak the future Duke the Richelieu his Grand Uncle being the infamous cardinal richelier he was impudent and witty the ladies would play with him like a toy but he would kiss them on the lips and return his hands wandering far for an inexperienced boy when those hands strayed up the skirts of a duchess who was not so indulgent the King was Furious and sent the youth to the Bastille to teach him a lesson but the ladies who had found him so amusing couldn't endure his absence compared to the stiffs in court here was someone incredibly bold his eyes boring into you his hands quicker than was safe nothing could stop him his novelty was irresistible the court ladies pleaded in his stay in the Bastille was cut short several years later the young Mademoiselle de valois was walking in a Paris park with her chaperone an older woman who never left her side de valois's father the Duke door Leon was determined to protect her his youngest daughter from all the court seducers until she could be married off so he had attached to her this Chaperone a woman of impeccable virtue and sourness in the park however de valois saw a young man who gave her a look that set her heart on fire He Walked on by but the look was intense and clear it was her chaperone who told her his name the now Infamous Duke duration blasphemer Seducer Heartbreaker someone to avoid at all cost a few days later The Chaperone took de valois to a different Park and lo and behold risholier crossed their path again this time he was in Disguise dressed as a beggar but the look in his eye was Unforgettable Mademoiselle de valois returned his gaze at last something exciting in her drab life given her father's sternness no man had dared approach her and now this notorious courtier was pursuing her instead of all the other ladies at court what a thrill soon he was smuggling beautifully written notes to her expressing his uncontrollable desire for her she responded timidly but soon the notes were all she was living for in one of them he promised to arrange everything if she would spend the night with him imagining it was impossible to bring such a thing to pass she didn't mind playing along and agreeing to his bold proposal Mademoiselle de valois had a chambermaid named Angelique who dressed her for bed and slept in an adjoining room one night as The Chaperone was knitting de valois looked up from the book she was reading to see Angelique carrying her Mistresses night clothes to her room but for some strange reason Angelique looked back at her and smiled it was rishalia expertly dressed as the maid de valois nearly gasped from Fright but caught herself realizing the danger she was in if she said anything her family would find out about the notes and about her part in the whole affair what could she do she decided to go to her room and talk the young Duke out of his ridiculously dangerous maneuver she said good night to her chaperone but once she was in her bedroom the words she had planned were useless when she tried to reason with Richelieu he responded with that look in his eye and then with his arms around her she could not yell but now she was unsure what to do his impetuous words his caresses the danger of it all her head was whirling she was lost what was virtue and her prior boredom compared to an evening with the Court's most notorious rake so while The Chaperone knitted away the Duke initiated her into the rituals of libertinage months later de valois's father had reason to suspect that rishalia had broken through his lines of Defense The Chaperone was fired the precautions were doubled door Leon did not realize that to richelier such measures were a challenge and he lived for challenges he bought the house next door under an assumed name and secretly tunneled a trapdoor through the wall adjoining the Duke's kitchen cupboard in this cupboard over the next few months until the novelty wore off DE valois and richelier enjoyed endless trysts everyone in Paris knew of risholio's exploits for he made it a point to publicize them as loudly as possible every week a new story would circulate through the court a husband had locked his wife in an upstairs room at night worried the Duke was after her to reach her the Duke had crawled in darkness along a thin wooden plank suspended between two Upper Floor windows two women who lived in the same house won a widow the other married and quite religious had discovered to their Mutual horror that the Duke was having an affair with both of them at the same time leaving one in the middle of the night to be with the other when they confronted him the Duke always on the prowl for something novel and a devilish talker had neither apologized nor backed down but proceeded to talk them into a menage à trois playing on the wounded vanity of each woman who couldn't stand the thought of him preferring the other year after year the stories of his remarkable seductions spread one woman admired his audacity and bravery another his gallantry in thwarting a husband women competed for his attention if he didn't want to seduce you there had to be something wrong with you to be the target of his attentions became a great fantasy at one point two ladies fought a pistol duel over the Duke and one of them was seriously wounded most bitter enemy once wrote if I believed in sorcery I should think that the Duke possessed some Supernatural secret for I have never known a woman to oppose the very least resistance to him in seduction there is often a dilemma to seduce you need planning and calculation but if you're a victim suspects that you have ulterior motives she will grow defensive furthermore if you seem to be in control you will inspire fear instead of Desire the Ardent rake solves this dilemma in the most Artful manner of course he must calculate and plan he has to find a way around the jealous husband or whatever the obstacle is it is exhausting work but by Nature the Ardent rake also has the advantage of an uncontrollable libido when he pursues a woman he really is a glow with desire the victim senses this and is inflamed even despite herself how can she imagine that he is a heartless Seducer who will abandon her when he so ardently Braves all dangers and obstacles to get to her and even if she is aware of his rakish past of his incorrigible amorality it doesn't matter because she also sees his weakness he cannot control himself he actually is a slave to all women as such he inspires no fear the Ardent rake teaches us a simple lesson intense desire has a distracting power on a woman just as the sirens physical presence does on a man a woman is often defensive and can sense in sincerity or calculation but if she feels consumed by your attentions and is confident you will do anything for her she will notice nothing else about you or will find a way to forgive your indiscretions this is the perfect cover for a Seducer the key is to show no hesitation to abandon all restraint to let yourself go to show that you cannot control yourself and are fundamentally weak don't worry about inspiring mistrust as long as you are the slave to her charms she will not think of the aftermath the Demonic rake in the early 1880s members of Roman High Society began to talk of a young journalist who had arrived on the scene a certain Gabriel this was strange in itself for Italian royalty had only the deepest contempt for anyone outside their circle and a newspaper Society reporter was almost as low as he could go indeed well-born men paid daruncio little attention he had no money and few connections coming from a strictly middle-class background besides to them he was downright ugly short and stocky with a dark splotchy complexion and bulging eyes the men thought him so unappealing they gladly let him mingle with their wives and daughters certain that their women would be safe with this gargoyle and happy to get this gossip Hunter off their hands no it wasn't the men who talked of danunzio it was their wives introduced to danunzio by their husbands these duchesses and Martinez's would find themselves entertaining this strange looking man and when he was alone with them his manner would suddenly change within minutes these ladies would be Spellbound first he had the most magnificent voice they had ever heard soft and low each syllable articulated with a flowing Rhythm and inflection that was almost Musical one woman compared it to the ringing of church bells in the distance others said his voice had a hypnotic effect the words that voice spoke were interesting as well alliterative phrases Charming locutions poetic images and a way of offering praise that could melt a woman's heart had mastered the art of flattery he seemed to know each woman's weakness one he would call a goddess of nature another an incomparable artist in the making another a romantic figure out of a novel a woman's heart would flutter as he described the effect she had on him everything was suggestive hinting at sex or Romance that night she would Ponder his words recalling little in particular that he'd said because he never said anything concrete but rather the feeling it had given her the next day she would receive from him a poem that seemed to have been written specifically for her fact he wrote dozens of very similar poems slightly tailoring each one for its intended victim a few years after danunzio began work as a society reporter he married the daughter of the Duke and Duchess of galezi shortly thereafter with the unshakable support of society ladies he began publishing novels and books of poetry the number of his conquests was remarkable and also the quality Not only martianses would fall at his feet but great artists such as the actress eleanora duza who helped him become a respected dramatist and literary celebrity the dancer Isadora Duncan another who eventually fell under his spell explained his magic perhaps the most remarkable lover of our time is Gabriela denunzio and this notwithstanding that he is small bald and except when his face lights up with enthusiasm ugly but when he speaks to a woman he likes his face is transfigured so that he suddenly becomes Apollo his effect on women is remarkable the lady he is talking to suddenly feels that her very soul and being are lifted at the outbreak of World War One the 52 year old danunzio joined the army although he had no military experience he had a flare for the dramatic and a burning desire to prove his bravery he learned to fly and led dangerous but highly effective missions by the end of the war he was Italy's most decorated hero his exploits made him a beloved National figure and after the war crowds would gather outside his hotel wherever in Italy he went he would address them from a balcony discussing politics railing against the current Italian government a witness of one of these speeches the American writer Walter Starkey was initially disappointed at the appearance of the famous denuncio on a balcony in Venice he was short and looked grotesque little by little however I began to sink under the fascination of the voice which penetrated into my consciousness never A hurried jerky gesture he played upon the emotions of the crowd as a supreme violinist does upon astradavarius the eyes of the thousands were fixed upon him as though hypnotized by his power once again it was the sound of the voice and the poetic connotations of the words that seduced the masses arguing that modern Italy should reclaim the greatness of the Roman Empire danuncio would craft slogans for the audience to repeat who would ask emotionally loaded questions for them to answer he flattered the crowd made them feel they were part of some drama everything was vague and suggestive the issue of the day was the ownership of the city of fume just across the border in neighboring Yugoslavia many Italians believed that Italy's reward for siding with the Allies in the recent War should be the annexation of fume the nuncio championed this cause and because of his status as a war hero the Army was ready to side with him although the government opposed any action in September of 1919 with soldiers rallying around him danuncio LED his Infamous march on fume when an Italian General stopped him along the way and threatened to shoot him danunzio opened his coat to show his medals and said in his magnetic voice if you must kill me fire first on this the general stood there stunned then broke into tears he joined up with daruncio he was greeted as a liberator the next day he was declared leader of the free state of fume soon he was giving daily speeches from a balcony overlooking the town's main Square holding tens of thousands of people Spellbound without benefit of loudspeakers he initiated all kinds of celebrations and rituals harking back to the Roman Empire citizens of fume began to imitate him particularly his sexual exploits the city became like a giant Bordello his popularity was so high that the Italian government feared a march on Rome which at that point had denuncio decided to do it and he had the support of a large part of the military might actually have succeeded danunzio could have beaten Mussolini to the punch and changed the course of history he was not a fascist but a kind of aesthetic socialist he decided to stay in fume however and ruled there for 16 months before the Italian government finally bombed him out of the city seduction is a psychological process that transcends gender except in a few key areas where each gender has its own weakness the male is traditionally vulnerable to the visual the siren who can concoct the right physical appearance will seduce in large numbers for women the weakness is language and words as was written by one of the Lucio's victims the French actress Simon how can one explain his conquests except by his extraordinary verbal power and the musical Timbre of his voice put to the service of exceptional eloquence for my sex is susceptible to words Bewitched by them longing to be dominated by them The Rake is as promiscuous with words as he is with women he chooses words for their ability to suggest insinuate hypnotize Elevate infect the words of the rake are the equivalent of the bodily adornment of the siren a powerful sensual distraction a narcotic the rake's use of language is demonic because it is designed not to communicate or convey information but to persuade flatter stir emotional turmoil much as the serpent in the Garden of Eden used words to Lead Eve into temptation the example of danunzio reveals the link between the erotic Rake who seduces women and the political Rake who seduces the masses both depend on words adapt the character of The Rake and you will find that the use of words as a subtle poison has infinite applications remember it is the form that matters not the content the less your targets focus on what you say and the more on how it makes them feel the more seductive your effect give your words a lofty spiritual literary flavor the better to insinuate desire in your unwitting victims keys to the character at first it may seem strange that a man who is clearly dishonest disloyal and has no interest in marriage would have any appeal to a woman but throughout all of history and in all cultures this type has had a fatal effect what the rake offers is what Society normally doesn't allow women an affair of pure pleasure an exciting brush with Danger a woman is often deeply oppressed by the role she is expected to play she is supposed to be the tender civilizing force in society and to want commitment and lifelong loyalty but often her marriages and relationships give her not romance and devotion but routine and an endlessly distracted mate it remains an abiding female fantasy to meet a man who gives totally of himself who lives for her even if only for a while this dark repressed side of female desire found expression in the legend of Don Juan at first the legend was a male fantasy The Adventurous Knight who could have any woman he wanted but in the 17th and 18th centuries Don Juan slowly evolved from the masculine Adventurer to a more feminized version a man who lived only for women this Evolution came from women's interest in the story and was a result of their frustrated desires marriage for them was a form of indentured servitude but Don Juan offered pleasure for its own sake Desire with no strings attached for the time he crossed your path you were all he thought about his desire for you was so powerful that he gave you no time to think or to worry about the consequences he would come in the night give you an unforgettable moment and then vanish he might have conquered a thousand women before you but that only made him more interesting better to be abandoned than undesired by such a man the great seducers do not offer the mild Pleasures that Society condones they touch a person's unconscious those repressed desires that cry out for liberation don't imagine that women are the tender creatures that some people would like them to be like men they are deeply attracted to the Forbidden the dangers even the slightly evil Don Juan Ends by going to hell and the word rake comes from rayquel a man who rakes the coals of hell the devilish component clearly is an important part of the fantasy always remember if you were to play The Rake you must convey a sense of risk and darkness suggesting to your victim that she is participating in something rare and thrilling a chance to play out her own rakish desires to play The Rake the most obvious requirement is the ability to let yourself go to draw a woman into the kind of purely sensual moment in which past and future lose meaning you must be able to abandon yourself to the moment when the rake of almor a character modeled after the Duke duration in La close's 18th century novel Dangerous Liaisons writes letters that are obviously calculated to have a certain effect on his chosen victim Madame de torvel she sees right through them but when his letters really do burn with passion she begins to relent an added benefit of this quality is that it makes you seem unable to control yourself a display of weakness that a woman enjoys by abandoning yourself to the seduced you make them feel that you exist for them alone a feeling reflecting a truth though a temporary one of the hundreds of women that Pablo Picasso consummate rake seduced over the years most of them had the feeling that they were the only one he truly loved The Rake never worries about a woman's resistance to him or for that matter about any other obstacle in his path a husband a physical barrier resistance is only the spur to his desire inflaming him all the more when Picasso was seducing Francois gilo in fact he begged her to resist he needed resistance to add to the thrill in any case an obstacle in your way gives you the opportunity to prove yourself and the creativity you bring to matters of love in the 11th century Japanese novel The Tale of Genji by the court lady Murasaki shikibu The Rake Prince Neo is not disturbed by the sudden disappearance of ukifune the woman he loves she has fled because although she is interested in the prince she is in love with another man but her absence allows the prince to go to extreme lengths to track her down his sudden appearance to whisk her away to a house deep in the woods and the gallantry he displays in doing so overwhelm her remember if no resistances or obstacles face you you must create them no seduction can proceed without them The Rake is an extreme personality impudent sarcastic and bitingly witty he cares nothing for what anyone thinks paradoxically this only makes him more seductive in the court-like atmosphere of Studio era Hollywood when most of the actors behaved like dutiful sheep the great rake Errol Flynn stood out in his insolence he defied the studio Chiefs engaged in the most extreme pranks reveled in his reputation as Hollywood's Supreme Seducer all of which enhanced his popularity The Rake needs a backdrop of convention a stultified court alhamdra marriage a conservative culture to shine to be appreciated for the breath of fresh air he provides never worry about going too far the rake's essence is that he goes further than anyone else when the Earl of Rochester 17th century England's most notorious rake and poet abducted Elizabeth Mallett one of the most sought after young ladies of the Court he was duly punished but lo and behold a few years later young Elizabeth though wooed by the most eligible bachelors in the country chose Rochester to be her husband in demonstrating his audacious desire he made himself stand out from the crowd related to the rake's extremism is the sense of danger taboo perhaps even the hint of Cruelty about him this was the appeal of another poet rake one of the greatest in history Lord Byron Byron disliked any kind of convention and happily played this up when he had an affair with his half-sister Who Bore a child by him he made sure that all of England knew about it he could be uncommonly cruel as he was to his wife but all of this only made him that much more desirable danger and taboo appeal to a repressed side in women who are supposed to represent a civilizing moralizing force in culture just as a man may fall victim to the siren through his desire to be free of his sense of masculine responsibility a woman May succumb to the rake through her yearning to be free of the constraints of virtue and decency indeed it is often the most virtuous woman who falls most deeply in love with the rake among the rake's most seductive qualities is his ability to make women want to reform him how many thought they would be the one to tame Lord Byron how many of Picasso's women thought they would finally be the one with whom he would spend the rest of his life you must exploit this tendency to the fullest when caught red-handed in rakishness fall back on your weakness your desire to change and your inability to do so with so many women at your feet what can you do you are the one who is the victim you need help women will jump at this opportunity they are uncommonly indulgent of the rake for he is such a pleasant dashing figure the desire to reform him disguises the true nature of their desire the secret thrill they get from him when President Bill Clinton was clearly caught out as a rake it was women who rushed to his defense finding every possible excuse for him the fact that the rake is so devoted to women in his own strange way makes him lovable and seductive to them finally a rake's greatest asset is his reputation never downplay your bad name or seem to apologize for it instead embrace it enhance it it is what draws women to you there are several things you must be known for your irresistible attractiveness to women your uncontrollable Devotion to pleasure this will make you seem weak but also exciting to be around you're disdain for convention a rebellious streak that makes you seem dangerous this last element can be slightly hidden on the surface be polite and civil while letting it be known that behind the scenes you are incorrigible the Duke the Richelieu made his conquests as public as possible exciting other women's competitive desire to join the club of the seduced it was by reputation that Lord Byron attracted his willing victims a woman may feel ambivalent about President Clinton's reputation but beneath that ambivalence is an underlying interest don't leave your reputation to chance or gossip it is your life's artwork you must craft it hone it and display it with the care of an artist dangers like the siren The Rake faces the most danger from members of his own sex who are far less indulgent than women are of his constant skirt chasing in the old days a rake was often an aristocrat and no matter how many people he offended or even killed in the end he would go unpunished today only stars and the very wealthy can play The Rake with impunity the rest of us need to be careful Elvis Presley had been a shy young man attaining early stardom and seeing the power it gave him over women he went berserk becoming a rake almost overnight like many rakes Elvis had a predilection for women who were already taken he found himself cornered by an angry husband or boyfriend on numerous occasions and came away with a few cuts and bruises this might seem to suggest that you should step lightly around husbands and boyfriends especially early on in your career but the charm of the rake is that such dangers don't matter to them you cannot be a rake by being fearful and prudent the occasional pummeling is part of the game later on in any case at the height of Elvis's Fame no husband would dare touch him the greater danger for the rake comes not from the violently offended husband but from those insecure men who feel threatened by the Don Juan figure although they won't admit it they Envy the rake's life of pleasure and like everyone envious they will attack in Hidden ways often masking their persecutions as morality The Rake may find his career endangered by such men or by the occasional woman who is equally insecure and who feels hurt because the rake does not want her there is little The Rake can do to avoid Envy if everyone was as successful in seduction society would not function so accept Envy as a badge of honor don't be naive be aware when attacked by a moralist persecutor don't be taken in by their Crusade it's motivated by Envy pure and simple you can blunt it by being less of a rake asking forgiveness claiming to have reformed but this will damage your reputation making you seem less lovably rakish in the end it's better to suffer attacks with dignity and keep on seducing seduction is the source of your power and you can always count on the infinite Indulgence of women in conclusion here are some further Reflections on the rake from tearso De Molina's play The Playboy of Seville after an accident at Sea Don Juan finds himself washed up on a beach where he's discovered by a young woman wake up handsomest of all men and be yourself again Don Juan if the sea gives me death you give me life but the sea really saved me only to be killed by you oh the sea tosses me from one torment to the other for I no sooner pulled myself from the water than I met this siren yourself why fill my ears with wax since you kill me with your eyes I was dying in the sea but from today I shall die of love his bear you have abundant breath for a man almost drowned you've suffered much but who knows what suffering you were preparing for me I found you at my feet all water and now you are all fire if you burn when you are so wet what will you do when you're dry again you promise a scorching flame I hope to God you're not lying Don Juan dear girl God should have drowned me before I could be charred by you Perhaps Love was wise to drench me before I felt your scalding touch but your fire is such that even in water I burn his bear so cold and yet burning Don Juan so much fire is in you his bear how well you talk Don Juan how well you understand I hope to God you're not lying from the private life of the martial Duke of rishilier translated by e s Flint pleased with my first success I determined to profit by this happy reconciliation I called them my dear wives my faithful companions the two beings chosen to make me happy I sought to turn their heads and to Rouse in them desires the strength of which I knew and which would drive away any Reflections contrary to my plans the skillful man who knows how to communicate gradually the heat of love to the senses of the most virtuous woman is quite certain of soon being absolute master of her mind and her person you cannot reflect when you have lost your head and moreover principles of wisdom however deeply engraved they may be on the mind are effaced in that moment when the heart yearns only for pleasure pleasure alone then commands and is obeyed the man who has had experience of conquests nearly always succeeds where he who is only timid and in love fails when I had brought my two bells to the state of Abandonment in which I wanted them I expressed a more eager desire their eyes lit up my caresses were returned and it was plain that their resistance would not delay for more than a few moments the next scene I desired them to play I proposed that each should accompany me in turn into a Charming closet next to the room in which we were which I wanted them to admire they both remained silent you hesitate I said to them I will see which of you is the more attached to me the one who loves me the more will be the first to follow the lover she wishes to convince of her affection I knew my Puritan and I was well aware that after a few struggles she gave herself up completely to the present moment this one appeared to be as agreeable to her as the others we had previously spent together she forgot that she was sharing me with Madame Renault when her term came Madame Renault responded with a transport that proved her contentment and she left the sitting only after having repeated continually what a man what a man he is astonishing how often you could be happy with him if he were only faithful from Philippe Julian's Prince of estate count Robert de Montesquieu his very successes in love even more than the marvelous voice of this little bald Seducer with a nose like punch swept along in his train a whole procession of enamored women both opulent and tormented denuncio had successfully revived the byronic legend as he passed by full breasted women standing in his way as baldoni would paint them strings of pearls anchoring them to life princesses and actresses great Russian ladies and even middle-class Bordeaux Housewives they would offer themselves up to him from molieres Don John or The Libertine in short nothing is so sweet as to triumph over the resistance of a beautiful person and in that I have the ambition of conquerors who fly perpetually from Victory to Victory and can never Prevail with themselves to put a bound to their wishes nothing can restrain the impetuosity of my desires I have a heart for the whole earth and like Alexander I would wish for new worlds wherein to extend my Amorous conquests from The Legend of Don Juan by Oscar Mandel among the many modes of handling Don Juan's effect on women the motif of the irresistible hero is worth singling out for it illustrates a curious change in our Sensibility Don Juan did not become irresistible to women until the Romantic age and I'm disposed to think that it is a trait of the female imagination to make him so when the female voice began to assert itself and even perhaps to dominate in literature Don Juan evolved to become the woman's rather than the man's ideal Don Juan is now the woman's dream of the perfect lover fugitive passionate daring he gives her the one Unforgettable Moment The Magnificent exaltation of the flesh which is too often denied her by the real husband who thinks that men are gross and women spiritual to be the Fatal Don Juan may be the dream of a few men but to meet him is the dream of many women the ideal lover most people have dreams in their youth that get shattered or worn down with age they find themselves disappointed by people events reality which cannot match their youthful ideals ideal lovers thrive on people's Broken Dreams which become lifelong fantasies you long for romance Adventure lofty spiritual communion the ideal lover reflects your fantasy he or she is an artist in creating the illusion you require idealizing your portrait in a world of disenchantment and baseness there is Limitless seductive power in following the path of the ideal lover the Romantic ideal one evening around 1760 at the Opera in the city of Cologne a beautiful young woman sat in her box watching the audience beside her was her husband the town bergamaster a middle-aged man and amiable enough but dull through her opera glasses the young woman noticed a handsome man wearing a stunning outfit evidently her stare was noticed for after the Opera the man introduced himself his name was Giovanni Giacomo Casanova The Stranger kissed the woman's hand she was going to a ball the following night she told him what he liked to come if I might dare to Hope Madame he replied that you will dance only with me the next night after the ball the woman could think only of Casanova he had seemed to anticipate her thoughts had been so pleasant and yet so bold a few days later he dined at her house and after her husband had retired for the evening she showed him around in her Boudoir she pointed out a wing of the house a chapel just outside her window sure enough as if he had read her mind Casanova came to the chapel the next day to attend mass and seeing her at the theater that evening he mentioned to her that he had noticed a door there that must lead to her bedroom she laughed and pretended to be surprised in the most innocent of tones he said that he would find a way to hide in the chapel the next day and almost without thinking she whispered she would visit him there after everyone had gone to bed so Casanova hid in the Chapel's tiny confessional waiting all day and evening there were rats and he had nothing to lie upon yet when the burger Master's wife finally came late at night he didn't complain but quietly followed her to her room they continued their trysts for several days by day she could hardly wait for night finally something to live for an adventure she left him food books and candles to ease his long and tedious days in the chapel it seemed wrong to use a place of worship for such a purpose but that only made the affair more exciting a few days later however she had to take a journey with her husband by the time she got back Casanova had disappeared as quickly and gracefully as he had come some years later in London a young woman named Miss Pauline noticed an ad in a local newspaper a gentleman was looking for a lady lodger to rent a part of his house Miss Pauline came from Portugal and was of the nobility she had eloped to London with a lover but he had been forced to return home and she had had to stay on alone for some while before she could join him now she was lonely and had little money and was depressed by her squalid circumstances after all she had been raised as a lady she answered the ad the gentleman turned out to be Casanova and what a gentleman he was the room he offered was nice and the rent was low he asked only for occasional companionship Miss Pauline moved in they played chess went riding discussed literature he was so well bred polite and generous a serious and high-minded girl she came to depend on their friendship here was a man she could talk to for hours then one day Casanova seemed changed upset excited he confessed that he was in love with her she was going back to Portugal soon to rejoin her lover and this was not what she wanted to hear she told him he should go riding to calm down later that evening she received news he had fallen from his horse feeling responsible for his accident she rushed to him found him in bed and fell into his arms unable to control herself the two became lovers that night and remained so for the rest of Miss Pauline's day in London yet when it came time for her to leave for Portugal he did not try to stop her instead he comforted her reasoning that each of them had offered the other the perfect temporary antidote to their loneliness and that they would be friends for life some years later in a small Spanish Town a young and beautiful girl named ignacia was leaving church after confession she was approached by Casanova walking her home he explained that he had a passion for dancing the Fandango and invited her to a ball the following evening he was so different from anyone in the town which bored her so she desperately wanted to go her parents were against the arrangement but she persuaded her mother to act as a chaperone after an unforgettable evening of dancing and he danced the Fandango remarkably well for a foreigner Casanova confessed that he was madly in love with her she replied very sadly though that she already had a fiance Casanova didn't force the issue but over the next few days he took ignacia to more dances and to the bull fights on one of these occasions he introduced her to a friend of his a duchess who flirted with him brazenly ignazia was terribly Jealous by now she was desperately in love with Casanova but her sense of Duty and religion forbade such thoughts finally after days of Torment ignazia sought out Casanova and took his hand my Confessor tried to make me promise to never be alone with you again she said and as I couldn't he refused to give me absolution it is the first time in my life such a thing has happened to me I have to put myself in God's hands I have made up my mind so long as you are here to do all you wish went to my sorrow you leave Spain I shall find another Confessor my fancy for you is after all only a passing Madness Casanova was perhaps the most successful Seducer in history few women could resist him his method was simple on meeting a woman he would study her go along with her moods find out what was missing in her life and provide it he made himself the ideal lover the board bergamaster's wife needed adventure and romance she wanted someone who would sacrifice time and comfort to have her for Miss Pauline what was missing was friendship lofty ideals serious conversation she wanted a man of breeding and generosity who would treat her like a lady for ignazia what was missing was suffering and torment her life was too easy to feel truly alive and to have something real to confess she needed to sin in each case Casanova adapted himself to the woman's ideals brought her fantasy to life once she had fallen under his spell a little ruse or calculation would seal the romance a day among rats a contrived fall from a horse an encounter with another woman to make ignazia jealous the ideal lover is rare in the modern world for the role takes effort you will have to focus intensely on the other person fathom what she is missing what he is disappointed by people will often reveal this in subtle ways through gesture tone of voice a look in the eye by seeming to be what they lack you will fit their ideal to create this effect requires patience and attention to detail most people are so wrapped up in their own desires so impatient they are incapable of the ideal lover role let that be a source of infinite opportunity be an oasis in the desert of the self-absorbed few can resist the temptation of following a person who seems so attuned to their desires to Bringing to life their fantasies and as with Casanova your reputation as one who gives such pleasure will precede you and make your seductions that much easier a quote from Casanova the cultivation of the pleasures of the senses was ever my principal aim in life knowing that I was personally calculated to please the fair sex I always drove to make myself agreeable to it the beauty ideal in 1730 when Jean poisson was a mere nine years old a fortune teller predicted that one day she would be the Mistress of Louis XV the prediction was quite ridiculous since John came from the middle class and it was a tradition stretching back for centuries that the king's mistress be chosen from among the nobility to make matters worse Jean's father was a notorious rake and her mother had been a courtesan fortunately for John one of her mother's lovers was a man of great wealth who took a liking to the pretty girl and paid for her education Jean learned to sing to play the clavicord to ride with uncommon skill to act and dance she was schooled in literature and history as if she were a boy the playwright krebi young instructed her in the art of conversation on top of it all Jean was beautiful and had a charm and Grace that set her apart early on in 1741 she married a man of the lower nobility now known as Madame de Tiel she could realize a great ambition she opened a literary salon all of the great writers and philosophers of the time frequented the salon many because they were enamored of the hostess one of these was Voltaire who became a lifelong friend through all of Jean's success she never forgot the fortune teller's prediction and still believed that she would one day conquer the king's heart it happened that one of her husband's Country Estates bordered on King Louie's favorite hunting grounds she would spy on him through the fence or find ways to cross his path always while she happened to be wearing an elegant yet fetching outfit soon the King was sending her gifts of game when his official mistress died in 1744 all of the Court Beauties vied to take her place but he began to spend more and more time with Madame de Tiel dazzled by her beauty and charm to the astonishment of the court that same year he made this middle-class woman His official mistress ennobling her with the title of the Marquis De pompadour the king's need for novelty was Notorious a mistress would beguile him with her looks but he would soon grow bored with her and find someone else after the shock of his choice of Jean poisson wore off accordius reassured themselves that it could not last that he had only chosen her for the novelty of having a middle-class mistress little did they know that John's first seduction of the King was not the last seduction she had in mind as time went by the king found himself visiting his mistress more and more often as he ascended the hidden stare that led from his quarters to hers in the Palace of Versailles anticipation of the Delights that awaited him at the top would begin to turn in his head first the room was always warm and was filled with delightful sense then there were the visual Delights Madame de pompadura always wore a different costume each one elegant and surprising in its own way she loved beautiful objects fine porcelain Chinese fans Golden Flower Pots and every time he visited there would be something new and enchanting to see her manner was always light-hearted she was never defensive or resentful everything for pleasure then there was her conversation he had never been really able to talk with a woman before or to laugh but the Marquis could discourse skillfully on any subject and her voice was a pleasure to hear and if the conversation waned she would move to the piano play a tune and sing wonderfully if ever the king seemed bored or sad Madame de pompadour would propose some project perhaps the building of a new country house he would have to advise in the design the layout of the gardens the decor back at Versailles Madame de pompadour put herself in charge of the palace amusements building a private theater for weekly performances under her Direction actors were chosen from among the courtiers but the female lead was always played by Madame de pompadour who is one of the finest amateur actresses in France the king became obsessed with this theater he could barely wait for its performances along with this interest came an increasing expenditure of money on the Arts and an involvement in philosophy and literature a man who had cared only for hunting and gambling was spending less and less time with his male Companions and becoming a great patron of the Arts indeed he stamped a whole ERA with an aesthetic style which became known as luikas rivaling the style associated with his illustrious predecessor Louis XIV lo and behold year after year went by without Louis tiring of his mistress in fact he made her a duchess and her power and influence extended well beyond culture into politics for 20 years Madame de pompadour ruled both the court and the king's heart until her untimely death in 1764 at the age of 43. Louis XV had a powerful inferiority complex the successor to Louis XIV the most powerful King in French history he had been educated and trained for the throne yet who could follow his predecessors Act eventually he gave up trying devoting himself instead to physical Pleasures which came to Define how he was seen the people around him knew they could sway him by appealing to the bassist parts of his character Madame de pompadour Genius of Seduction understood that inside Louis XV was a great man yearning to come out and that his obsession with pretty young women indicated a hunger for a more lasting kind of beauty her first step was to cure his incessant bouts of boredom it is easy for Kings to be bored everything they want is given to them and they seldom learn to be satisfied with what they have the Marquis De pompadour dealt with this by bringing all sorts of fantasies to life and creating constant suspense she had many skills and talents and just as important she deployed them so artfully that he never discovered their limits once she had accustomed him to more refined Pleasures she appealed to the crushed ideals within him in the mirror she held up to him he saw his aspiration to be great a desire that in France inevitably included leadership and culture his previous series of Mistresses had tickled only his sensual Desires in Madame de pompadour he found a woman who made him feel greatness in himself the other Mistresses could easily be replaced but he could never find another Madame de pompadour most people believe themselves to be inwardly greater than they outwardly appear to the world they are full of unrealized ideals they could be artists thinkers leaders spiritual figures but the world has crushed them denied them the chance to let their abilities flourish this is the key to their seduction and to keeping them seduced over time the ideal lover knows how to conjure up this kind of magic appeal only to people's physical side as many amateur seducers do and they will resent you for playing upon their bassist instincts but appeal to their better selves to a higher standard of beauty and they will hardly notice that they have been seduced make them feel elevated lofty spiritual and your power over them will be Limitless a quotation from Friedrich Nietzsche love brings to light a Lover's Noble and hidden qualities his rare and exceptional traits it is thus liable to be deceptive as to his normal character keys to the character each of us carries inside us an ideal either of what we would like to become or of what we want another person to be for us this ideal goes back to our earliest years to what we once felt was missing in our lives what others didn't give to us what we couldn't give to ourselves maybe we were smothered in comfort and we long for danger and Rebellion if we want danger but it frightens us perhaps we look for someone who seems at home with it or perhaps our ideal is more elevated we want to be more creative nobler and Kinder than we ever managed to be our ideal is something we feel is missing inside us our ideal may be buried in disappointment but it lurks underneath waiting to be sparked if another person seems to have that ideal quality or to have the ability to bring it out in us we fall in love that is the response to Ideal lovers attuned to what is missing inside you to the fantasy that will stir you they reflect your ideal and you do the rest projecting on to them your deepest desires and yearnings Casanova and Madame de pompadour didn't merely seduce their targets into a sexual affair they made them fall in love the key to following the path of the ideal lover is the ability to observe ignore your Target's words and conscious Behavior focus on the tone of their voice a blush here a look there those signs that betray what their words won't say often the ideal is expressed in contradiction King Louis XV seemed to care only about chasing deer and young girls but that in fact covered up his disappointment in himself he yearned to have his number qualities flattered never has there been a better moment than now to play the ideal lover that is because we live in a world in which everything must seem elevated and well-intentioned power is the most taboo topic of all although it is the reality we deal with every day in our struggles with people there is nothing Noble self-sacrificing or spiritual about it ideal lovers make you feel nobler make the sensual and sexual seem spiritual and aesthetic like all seducers they play with power but they disguise their manipulations behind the facade of an ideal few people see through them and their seductions last longer some ideals resemble jungian archetypes they go back a long way in our culture and their hold is almost unconscious one such dream is that of the chivalrous night in the courtly love tradition of the Middle Ages a troubadour night would find a lady almost always a married one and would serve as her vassal he would go through terrible trials on her behalf undertake dangerous pilgrimages in her name suffer awful tortures to prove his love this could include bodily mutilation such as tearing off of fingernails The Cutting of an ear Etc he would also write poems and sing beautiful songs to her for no Troubadour could succeed without some kind of aesthetic or spiritual quality to impress his lady the key to the archetype is a sense of absolute devotion a man who will not let matters of warfare Glory or money intrude into the fantasy of courtship has Limitless power the Troubadour role is an ideal because people who don't put themselves in their own interests first are truly rare for a woman to attract the intense attention of such a man is immensely appealing to her vanity in 18th century Osaka a man named Nissan took the courtesan dewa out walking first taking care to sprinkle the Clover bushes along the path with water which looked like morning dew a was greatly moved by this beautiful sight I have heard she said that loving couples of deer are want to lie behind Clover bushes how I should like to see this in real life Nissan had heard enough that very day he had a section of her house torn down and ordered the planting of dozens of clover bushes in what had once been a part of her bedroom that night he arranged for peasants to round up wild deer from the mountains and bring them to the house the next day Daiwa awoke to precisely the scene she had described once she appeared overwhelmed and moved he had the Clover and deer taken away and the house rebuilt one of history's most Gallant lovers Sergey saltikov had The Misfortune to fall in love with one of History's least available women the grand duchess Catherine future Empress of Russia Catherine's every move was watched over by her husband Peter who suspected her of trying to cheat on him and appointed servants to keep an eye on her she was isolated unloved and unable to do anything about it a handsome young army officer was determined to be her rescuer in 1752 he befriended Peter and also the couple in charge of watching over Catherine in this way he was able to see her and occasionally exchange her word or two with her that revealed his intentions he performed the most foolhardy and dangerous Maneuvers to be able to see her alone including diverting her horse during a royal hunt and riding off into the forest with her he told her how much he sympathized with her plight and that he would do anything to help her to be caught courting Catherine would have meant death and eventually Peter came to suspect that something was up between his wife and saltikov though he was never sure his enmity did not discourage The Dashing officer who just put still more energy and Ingenuity into finding ways to arrange Secret trysts the couple were lovers for two years and saltikov was undoubtedly the father of Catherine's son Paul later the Emperor of Russia when Peter finally got rid of him by sending him off to Sweden news of his gallantry traveled ahead of him and women swooned to be his next Conquest you may not have to go to as much trouble or risk but you will always be rewarded for actions that reveal a sense of self-sacrifice or devotion the embodiment of the ideal lover for the 1920s was Rudolf Valentino or at least the image created of him in film everything he did the gifts the flowers the dancing the way he took a woman's hand showed a scrupulous attention to the details that would signify how much he was thinking of her the image was of a man who made courtship take time transforming it into an aesthetic experience men hated Valentino because women now expected them to match the ideal of patience and attentiveness that he represented yet nothing is more seductive than patient attentiveness it makes the affair seem lofty aesthetic not really about sex the power of a Valentino particularly nowadays is that people like this are so rare the art of playing to a woman's ideal has almost disappeared which only makes it that much more alluring if the chivalrous lover Remains the ideal for women men often idealize the Madonna slash [ __ ] a woman who combines sensuality with an air of spirituality or innocence think of the great courtesans of the Italian Renaissance such as Tulia daragona essentially a prostitute like all courtesans but able to disguise her social role by establishing a reputation as a poet and philosopher Julia was what was then known as an honest courtesan honest courtesans would go to church but they had an ulterior motive for men their presence at Mass was exciting their houses were pleasure palaces but what made these homes so visually delightful was their artworks and shelves full of books volumes of petrarch and Dante for the man the thrill the fantasy was to sleep with a woman who was sexual yet had all the ideal qualities of a mother and the spirit and intellect of an artist where the pure prostitute excited desire but also discussed the honest courtesan made sex seem elevated and innocent as if it were happening in the Garden of Eden such women held immense power over men to this day they remain an ideal if for no other reason than that they offer such a range of Pleasures the key is ambiguity to combine the appearance of sensitivity to the pleasures of the flesh with an air of Innocence spirituality a poetic Sensibility this mix of the high and the low is immensely seductive the Dynamics of the ideal lover have Limitless possibilities not all of them erotic in politics taliron essentially played the role of the ideal lover with Napoleon whose ideal in both the cabinet minister and a friend was a man who was aristocratic smooth with the ladies all the things that Napoleon himself was not in 1798 when taliron was the French foreign minister he hosted a party in Napoleon's honor after the great General's dazzling military victories in Italy to the day Napoleon died he remembered this party as the best he had ever attended it was a lavish Affair and tally wrong wove a subtle message into it by placing Roman busts around the house and by talking to Napoleon of Reviving The Imperial glories of ancient Rome this sparked a glint in the leader's eye and indeed a few years later Napoleon gave himself the title of Emperor a move that only made taliron more powerful the key to taliron's power was his ability to Fathom Napoleon's secret ideal his desire to be an emperor a dictator simply held up a mirror to Napoleon and let him Glimpse that possibility people are always vulnerable to insinuations like this which stroke their vanity almost everyone's weak spot hint at something for them to Aspire to reveal your faith in some untapped potential you see in them and you will soon have them eating out of your hand if ideal lovers are Masters at seducing people by appealing to their higher selves to something lost from their childhood politicians can benefit by applying this skill on a mass scale to an entire electorate this was what John F Kennedy quite deliberately did with the American public most obviously in creating the Camelot Aura around himself the word Camelot was applied to his presidency only after his death but the romance he consciously projected through his Youth and good looks was fully functioning during his lifetime more subtly he also played with America's images of its own greatness and lost ideals many Americans felt that with the wealth and comfort of the late 1950s had come great losses ease and Conformity had buried the country's Pioneer spirit Kennedy appealed to those lost ideals through the imagery of the New Frontier which was exemplified by the space race the American Instinct for adventure could find Outlets here even if most of them were symbolic and there were other calls for public service such as the creation of the Peace Corps through appeals like these Kennedy re-sparked the uniting sense of mission that had gone missing in America during the years since World War II he also attracted to himself a more emotional response than presidents commonly got people literally fell in love with him and the image politicians can gain seductive Power by digging into a country's past bringing images and ideals that have been abandoned or repressed back to the surface they only need the symbol they don't really have to worry about recreating the reality behind it the good feelings they stir up are enough to ensure a positive response dangers the main dangers in the role of the ideal lover are the consequences that arise if you let reality creep in you are creating a fantasy that involves an idealization of your own character and this is a precarious task for you or human and imperfect if your faults are ugly enough or intrusive enough they will burst the bubble you've blown and your target will revile you whenever Tulia daragona was caught acting like a common prostitute when for instance she was caught having an affair just for money she would have to leave town and establish herself elsewhere the fantasy of her as a spiritual figure was broken Casanova 2 faced this danger but was usually able to surmount it by finding a clever way to break off the relationship before the woman realized that he was not what she had imagined he would find some excuse to leave town or better still he would choose a victim who was herself leaving town soon and whose awareness that the affair would be short-lived would make her idealizing of him all the more intense reality and long intimate exposure have a way of dulling a person's perfection the 19th century poet Alfred de Muse was seduced by the writer Josh sand who's Larger than Life character appealed to his romantic nature but when the couple visited Venice together and sold came down with dysentery she was suddenly no longer an idealized figure but a woman with an unappealing physical problem himself showed a whiny babyish side on this trip and the lovers separated once apart however they were able to idealize each other again and reunited a few months later when reality intrudes distance is often a solution in politics the dangers are similar years after Kennedy's death a string of Revelations his incessant sexual Affairs his excessively dangerous brinkmanship style of diplomacy Etc belied the myth he had created His Image has survived this tarnishing poll after Paul shows that he is still revered Kennedy is a special case perhaps in that his assassination made him a martyr reinforcing the process of idealization that he had already set in motion but he isn't the only example of an ideal lover whose attraction survives unpleasant Revelations these figures unleash such powerful fantasies and there is such a hunger for the myths and ideals they have to sell that they are often quickly forgiven still it is always wise to be prudent and to keep people from glimpsing the less than ideal side of your character in conclusion here are some further Reflections on the ideal lover from Soren kierkegaards the seducer's diary if at first sight a girl does not make such a deep impression on a person that she awakens the ideal then ordinarily the actuality is not especially desirable but if she does then no matter how experienced a person is he usually is rather overwhelmed from the pillow book of say shanagon translated and edited by Ivan Morris a good lover will behave as elegantly at dawn as at any other time he drags himself out of bed with a look of dismay on his face the lady urges him on come my friend it's getting light you don't want anyone to find you here he gives a deep sigh as if to say that the night has not been nearly long enough and that it is Agony to leave once up he does not instantly pull on his trousers instead he comes close to the lady and Whispers whatever was left unsaid during the night even when he is dressed he still lingers vaguely pretending to be fastening his sash presently he raises the lattice and the two lovers Stand Together by the side door where he tells her how he dreads the coming day which will keep them apart then he slips away the lady watches him go and this moment of parting will remain among her most Charming memories indeed one's attachment to a man depends largely on the Elegance of his leave-taking when he jumps out of bed scurries about the room tightly fastens his trouser sash rolls up the sleeves of his court cloak over robe or hunting costume stuffs his belongings into the breast of his robe and then briskly secures the outer sash one really begins to hate him from Warhol by David bourdon during the early 1970s against a turbulent political backdrop that included the Fiasco of American involvement in the Vietnam War and the downfall of President Richard Nixon's presidency in the Watergate scandal a me generation sprang to prominence and Andy Warhol was there to hold up its mirror unlike the radicalized protesters of the 1960s who wanted to change all the ills of society the self-absorbed me people sought to improve their bodies and to get in touch with their own feelings they cared passionately about their appearance Health lifestyle and bank accounts Andy catered to their self-centeredness and inflated Pride by offering his Services as a portraitist by the end of the decade he would be internationally recognized as one of the leading portraitists of his era Warhol offered his clients an irresistible product stylish and flattering Portrait by a famous artist who was himself a certified celebrity conferring an alluring star presence upon even the most celebrated of faces he transformed his subjects into glamorous apparitions presenting their faces as he thought they wanted to be seen and remembered by filtering his sitter's good features through his silk screens and exaggerating their vivacity he enabled them to gain entree to a more Mythic and rarified level of existence the possession of great wealth and power might do for everyday life but the commissioning of a portrait by Warhol was a sure indication that the sitter intended to secure a posthumous Fame as well warhol's portraits were not so much realistic documents of contemporary faces as they were designer icons awaiting future devotions from Virginia wolves A Room of One's Own women have served all these centuries as looking glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of a man at twice its natural size The Dandy most of us feel trapped within the limited roles that the world expects us to play We Are instantly attracted to those who are more fluid more ambiguous than we are those who create their own persona Dandy's excite us because they cannot be categorized and hint at a freedom we want for ourselves they play with masculinity and femininity they fashion their own physical image which is always startling they are mysterious and elusive they also appeal to the narcissism of each sex to a woman they are psychologically female to a man they are male dandies Fascinate and seduce in large numbers use the power of the Dandy to create an ambiguous alluring presence that stirs repressed desires the feminine Dandy when the 18 year old Rodolfo gulielmi emigrated from Italy to the United States in 1913. he came with no particular skills apart from his good looks and his dancing prowess to put these qualities to Advantage he found work in the te Danson the Manhattan dance halls where young girls would go alone or with friends and hire a taxi dancer for a brief thrill the taxi dancer would expertly twirl them around the Dance Floor flirting and chatting all for a small fee julielmi soon made a name as one of the best So Graceful poised and pretty in working as a taxi dancer gulielmi spent a great deal of time around women he quickly learned what pleased them how to mirror them in subtle ways how to put them at ease but not too much he began to pay attention to his clothes creating his own Dapper look he danced with a corset under his shirt to give himself a trim figure sported a wristwatch considered effeminate in those days and claimed to be a marquee in 1915 he landed a job demonstrating the tango and fancy restaurants and changed his name to the more evocative Rodolfo di Valentina a year later he moved to Los Angeles he wanted to try to make it in Hollywood now known as Rudolf Valentino me appeared as an extra in several low budget pictures he eventually landed a somewhat larger role in the 1919 film Eyes Of Youth in which he played a Seducer and caught women's attention by how different a Seducer he was his movements were graceful and delicate his skin so smooth and his face so pretty that when he swooped down on his victim and drowned her protests with a kiss he seemed more thrilling than sinister next came The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in which Valentino played the male lead Julio the Playboy and became an overnight sex symbol through a Tango sequence in which he seduced a young woman by Leading her through the dance scene and capsulated the essence of his appeal his feet smooth and fluid his Poise almost feminine combined with an air of control female members of the audience literally swooned as he raised a married woman's hands to his lips or shared the fragrance of a rose with his lover he seemed so much more attentive to women than other men did but mixed in with this delicacy was a hint of Cruelty and Menace that drove women Wild in his most famous film The Chic Valentino played an Arab Prince later revealed to be a Scottish Lord abandoned in the Sahara as a baby who rescues a proud English lady in the desert then conquers her in a manner that borders on rape when she asks why have you brought me here he replies are you not woman enough to know yet she ends up falling in love with him as indeed women did in movie audiences all over the world thrilling at his strange blend of the feminine and the masculine in one scene in the Sheikh the English lady points a gun at Valentino his response is to point a delicate cigarette holder back at her she wears pants he wears long flowing robes an abundant eye makeup later films would include scenes of Valentino dressing and undressing a kind of striptease showing glimpses of his trim body in almost all of his films he played some exotic period character a Spanish bullfighter an Indian Raja an Arab Sheikh a French nobleman and he seemed to Delight in dressing up in jewels and tight uniforms in the 1920s women were beginning to play with a new sexual Freedom instead of waiting for a man to be interested in them they wanted to be able to initiate the affair but they still wanted the man to end up sweeping them off their feet Valentino understood this perfectly his off-screen life corresponded to his movie image he wore bracelets on his arm dressed impeccably and reportedly was cruel to his wife and hit her is adoring public carefully ignored his two failed marriages and his apparently non-existent sex life when he suddenly died in New York in August 1926 at the age of 31 from complications after surgery for an ulcer the response was unprecedented more than one hundred thousand people filed by his coffin many female mourners became hysterical and the whole nation was Spellbound nothing like this had happened before for a mere actor there is a film of Valentino's Monsieur bouquet in which he plays a total fop a much more effeminate role than he normally played and without his usual hint of dangerousness film was a flop women did not respond to Valentino as a swish they were thrilled by the ambiguity of a man who shared many of their own feminine traits yet remained a man Valentino dressed and played with his physicality like a woman but his image was masculine he wooed as a woman would woo if she were a man slowly attentively paying attention to details setting a rhythm instead of hurrying to a conclusion yet when the time came for boldness and Conquest timing was impeccable overwhelming his victim and giving her no chance to protest in his movies Valentino practiced the same gigolo's art of leading a woman on that he had mastered as a teenager on the Dance Floor chatting flirting pleasing but always in control Valentino remains an enigma to this day his private life and his character are wrapped in mystery His Image continues to seduce as it did during his lifetime he served as the model for Elvis Presley who is obsessed with this star of the silence and also for the modern male Dandy who plays with gender but retains an edge of danger and cruelty seduction was and will always remain the female form of power and warfare it was originally the antidote to rape and violence the man who uses this form of power on a woman is in essence turning the game around employing feminine weapons against her without losing his masculine identity the more subtly feminine he becomes the more effective the seduction don't be one of those who believe that what is most seductive is being devastatingly masculine the feminine Dandy has a much more Sinister effect he lures the woman in with exactly what she wants a familiar pleasing graceful presence mirroring feminine psychology he displays attention to his appearance sensitivity to detail a slight coquettishness but also a hint of male cruelty women are narcissists in love with the charms of their own sex by showing them feminine charm a man can Mesmerize and disarm them leaving them vulnerable to a bold masculine move the feminine Dandy can seduce on a mass scale no single woman really possesses him he's too elusive but all can fantasize about doing so the key is ambiguity your sexuality is decidedly heterosexual but your body and psychology float delightfully back and forth between the two poles the masculine Dandy in the 1870s Pastor Hendrick gilo was the darling of the Saint Petersburg Intelligentsia he was young handsome well-read in philosophy and literature and he preached a kind of enlightened Christianity dozens of young girls had crushes on him and would flock to his sermons just to look at him in 1878 however he met a girl who changed his life her name was Lou Fon Salome later known as Lou Andreas Salome and she was 17. he was 42. Salome was pretty with radiant blue eyes she had read a lot particularly for a girl her age and was interested in the gravest philosophical and religious issues her intensity her intelligence her responsiveness to ideas cast a spell over gilo when she entered his office for her increasingly frequent discussions with him the place seemed brighter and More Alive perhaps she was flirting with him in the unconscious manner of a young girl yet when jilo admitted to himself that he was in love with her and proposed marriage Salome was horrified the confused Pastor never quite got over Lou Fon Salome becoming the first of a long string of famous men to be the victim of a lifelong unfulfilled infatuation with her in 1882 the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche was wandering around Italy alone in Genoa he received a letter from his friend Paul Ray a Prussian philosopher whom he admired recounting his discussions with a remarkable young Russian woman Lou Von Salome in Rome Salome was there on holiday with her mother Rey had managed to accompany her on long walks through the city unchaperoned and they had had many conversations her ideas on God and Christianity were quite similar to Nietzsche's and when Rey had told her that the famous philosopher was a friend of his she had insisted that he invite Nietzsche to join them in subsequent letters Rey described how mysteriously captivating Salome was and how anxious she was to meet Nietzsche the philosopher soon went to Rome when Nietzsche finally met Salome he was overwhelmed she had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen and during their first long talk those eyes lit up so intensely that he couldn't help feeling there was something erotic about her excitement if he was also confused Salome kept her distance and didn't respond to his compliments what a devilish young woman a few days later she read him a poem of hers and he cried her ideas about life were so like his own deciding to seize the moment Nietzsche proposed marriage he did not know that Rey had done so as well Salome declined she was interested in philosophy Life Adventure not marriage undaunted Nietzsche continued to court her on an Excursion to Lake orta with Rey Salome and her mother he managed to get the Girl Alone accompanying her on a walk up montesacre while the others stayed behind apparently the views and Nietzsche's words had the proper passionate effect in a later letter to her he described this walk as the most beautiful dream of my life now he was a man possessed all he could think about was marrying Salome and having her all to himself a few months later Salome visited Nietzsche in Germany they took long walks together and stayed up all night discussing philosophy she mirrored his deepest thoughts anticipated his ideas about religion yet when he again proposed marriage she scolded him as conventional it was Nietzsche after all who had developed a philosophical defense of the Superman the man above everyday morality yet Salome was by Nature far less conventional than he was her firm uncompromising manner only deepened the spell she cast over him as did her hint of Cruelty when she finally left him making it clear that she had no intention of marrying him Nietzsche was devastated as an antidote to his pain he wrote thus spague zarathustra a book full of sublimated eroticism and deeply inspired by his talks with her from then on Salome was known throughout Europe as the woman who had broken Nature's heart Salome moved to Berlin soon the city's greatest intellectuals were falling under the spell of her independence and free spirit the playwrights Gerhart hauptmann and Frank vaderkin became infatuated with her in 1897 the great Austrian poet Reiner Maria rilka fell in love with her by that time her reputation was widely known and she was a published novelist this certainly played a part in seducing Ruka but he was also attracted by a kind of masculine energy he found in her that he had never seen in a woman was then 22 Salome 36. he wrote her love letters and poems followed her everywhere and began an affair with her that was the last several years she corrected his poetry imposed discipline on his overly romantic verse inspired ideas for new poems but she was put off by his childish dependence on her his weakness unable to stand weakness of any kind she eventually left him consumed by her memory rilka long continued to pursue her in 1926 lying on his deathbed he begged his doctors ask Lou what is wrong with me she is the only one who knows one man wrote of Salome there was something terrifying about her embrace looking at you with her radiant blue eyes she would say the reception of the semen is for me the height of ecstasy and she had an insatiable appetite for it she was completely amoral a vampire the Swedish psychotherapist Paul biera one of her later conquests wrote I think Nietzsche was right when he said that Lou was a thoroughly Evil Woman evil however in the gertian sense evil that produces good she may have destroyed lives and marriages but her presence was exciting the two emotions that almost every male felt in the presence of Lu Andreas Salome were confusion and excitement the two prerequisite feelings for any successful seduction people were Intoxicated by her strange mix of the masculine and The Feminine she was beautiful with a radiant smile and a graceful flirtatious manner but her independence and her intensely analytical Nature Made her seem oddly male this ambiguity was expressed in her eyes which were both coquettish and probing it was confusion that kept men interested and curious no other woman was like this they wanted to know more the excitement stemmed from her ability to stir up repressed desires she was a complete non-conformist and to be involved with her was to break all kinds of taboos her masculinity made the relationship seem vaguely homosexual her slightly cruel slightly domineering streak could stir up masochistic yearnings as it did in Nietzsche Salome radiated a forbidden sexuality her powerful effect on men the lifelong infatuations the suicides there were several the periods of intense creativity the descriptions of her as a vampire or a devil attest to the Obscure depths of the psyche she was able to reach and disturb the masculine Dandy succeeds by reversing the normal pattern of male superiority in matters of love and seduction a man's apparent Independence his capacity for detachment often seems to give him the upper hand in the dynamic between men and women a purely feminine woman will arouse desire but is always vulnerable to the man's capricious loss of Interest a purely masculine woman on the other hand will not arouse that interest at all follow the path of the masculine Dandy however and you neutralize all a man's powers never give completely of yourself while you are passionate and sexual always retain an air of Independence and self-possession you might move on to the next man or so he will think you have other more important matters to concern yourself with such as your work men do not know how to fight women who use their own weapons against them they are intrigued aroused and disarmed few men can resist the taboo Pleasures offered up to them by the masculine Dandy keys to the character many of us today imagine that sexual Freedom has progressed in recent years that Everything Has Changed For Better or Worse this is mostly an illusion a reading of History reveals periods of licentiousness Imperial Rome late 17th century England the floating world of 18th century Japan far in excess of what we are currently experiencing gender roles are certainly changing but they have changed before Society is in a state of constant flux but there is something that does not change the vast majority of people conform to whatever is normal for the time they play the role allotted to them Conformity is a constant because humans are social creatures who are always imitating one another at certain points in history it may be fashionable to be different and rebellious but if a lot of people are playing that role there is nothing different or rebellious about it we should never complain about most people's slavish Conformity however for it offers Untold possibilities of power and seduction to those who are up for a few risks dandies have existed in all ages and cultures in ancient Greece korechica in late 10th Century Japan and wherever they have gone they have thrived on the conformist role-playing of others The Dandy displays a true and radical difference from other people a difference of appearance and manner since most of us are secretly oppressed by our lack of Freedom we are drawn to those who are more fluid and flaunt their difference dandies seduce socially as well as sexually groups form around them their style is wildly imitated an entire court or crowd will fall in love with them in adapting The Dandy character for your own purposes remember that the Dandy is by nature a rare and beautiful flower be different in ways that are both striking and aesthetic never vulgar poke fun at current trends and styles go in a novel Direction and be supremely uninterested in what anyone else is doing most people are insecure they will wonder what you're up to and slowly they will come to admire and imitate you because you express yourself with total confidence The Dandy has traditionally been defined by clothing and certainly most dandies create a unique visual Style Beau brummel the most famous Dandy of all would spend hours on his toilette particularly the inimitably styled knot in his necktie for which he was famous throughout early 19th century England but a Dandy's style cannot be obvious for dandies are subtle and never try hard for attention attention comes to them the person whose clothes are fragrantly different has little imagination or taste dandies show their difference in the little touches that Mark their disdain for convention gautier's red vest Oscar Wilde's green velvet suit Andy warhol's silver wigs the great English prime minister Benjamin Israeli had two magnificent canes one for morning one for evening at noon he would change canes no matter where he was the female Dandy Works similarly she may adopt Male clothing say but if she does a touch here or there will set her truly apart no man ever dressed quite like Josh Sande the over tall hat the riding boots worn on the streets of Paris made her a sight to behold remember there must be a reference point if your visual style is totally unfamiliar people will think you at best an obvious attention getter at worst crazy instead create your own fashion sense by adapting and altering prevailing styles to make yourself an object of Fascination do this right and you will be wildly imitated the count D'Orsay a great London Dandy of the 1830s and 1840s was closely watched by fashionable people one day caught in a sudden London rainstorm he bought a pal truck a kind of heavy hooded duffel coat off the back of a Dutch sailor the pal truck immediately became the coat to wear having people imitate you of course is a sign of your powers of Seduction the non-conformity of dandies however goes far beyond appearances it is an attitude towards life that sets them apart adopt that attitude and a circle of followers will form around you dandies are supremely impudent they don't give a damn about other people and never try to please in the court of Louis XIV the writer La bruyere noticed that courtiers who tried hard to please were invariably on the way down nothing was more anti-seductive as barbador ve wrote dandies please women by displeasing them impudence was fundamental to the appeal of Oscar Wilde in a London theater one night after the first performance of one of Wild's plays the ecstatic audience yelled for the author to appear on stage Wilde made them wait and wait and then finally emerged smoking a cigarette and wearing an expression of total disdain it may be Bad Manners to appear here smoking but it is far worse to disturb me when I am smoking he scolded his fans the count D'Orsay was equally impudent at a London Club one night a Rothschild who was notoriously cheap accidentally dropped a gold coin on the floor then bent down to look for it account immediately whipped out a thousand Franc note worth much more than the coin rolled it up lit it like a candle and got down on all fours as if to help light the way in the search only a Dandy could get away with such audacity the insolence of the rake is tied up with his desire to conquer a woman he cares for nothing else the insolence of the Dandy on the other hand is aimed at society and its conventions it's not a woman he cares to conquer but a whole group an entire social world and since people are generally oppressed by the obligation of always being polite and self-sacrificing they are delighted to spend time around a person who disdains such niceties dandies are Masters Of The Art of Living they live for pleasure not for work they surround themselves with beautiful objects and eat and drink with the same relish they show for their clothes this was how the great Roman writer petronius author of The satiricon was able to seduce the emperor Nero unlike the Dal Seneca the great stoic thinker and Nero's tutor petronius knew how to make every detail of Life a grand aesthetic Adventure from a feast to a simple conversation this is not an attitude you should impose on those around you you can't make yourself a nuisance but if you simply seem socially confident and sure of your taste people will be drawn to you the key is to make everything an aesthetic choice your ability to alleviate boredom by making life and art will make your company highly prized the opposite sex is a strange country we can never know and this excites us creates the proper sexual tension but it is also a source of annoyance and frustration men don't understand how women think and vice versa each tries to make the other act more like a member of their own sex dandies may never try to please but in this one area they have a pleasing effect by adopting psychological traits of the opposite sex they appeal to our inherent narcissism women identified with Rudolph Valentino's delicacy and attention to detail and courtship men identified with lu Andreas salome's lack of interest in commitment in the heian court of 11th century Japan the writer of the pillow book was powerfully seductive for men especially literary types she was fiercely independent wrote poetry with the best and had a certain emotional distance men wanted more from her than just to be her friend or companion as if she were another man Charmed by her empathy for male psychology they fell in love with her this kind of mental transvestism the ability to enter the spirit of the opposite sex adapt to their way of thinking mirror their tastes and attitudes can be a key element in seduction it is a way of mesmerizing your victim According to Freud the human libido is essentially bisexual most people are in some way attracted to people of their own sex but social constraints varying with culture and historical period repress these impulses The Dandy represents a release from such constraints in several of Shakespeare's plays a young girl back then the female roles in the theater were actually played by male actors has to go into disguise and dresses up as a boy eliciting all kinds of sexual interests from Men Who later are delighted to find out that the boy is actually a girl think for example of Rosalind in as you like it entertainers such as Josephine Baker known as the chocolate Dandy and Marlena Dietrich would dress up as men in their acts making themselves wildly popular among men meanwhile the slightly feminized male the pretty boy has always been seductive to women Valentino embodied this quality Elvis Presley had feminine features the face the hips wore frilly pink shirts and eye makeup and attracted the attention of women early on the filmmaker Kenneth anger said of Mick Jagger that it was a bisexual charm which constituted an important part of the attraction he had over young girls and which acted upon their unconscious in Western culture for centuries in fact feminine beauty has been far more fetishized than male Beauty so it is understandable that a feminine looking face like that of Montgomery Clift would have more seductive power than that of John Wayne The Dandy figure has a place in politics as well John F Kennedy was a strange mix of the masculine and feminine virile and his toughness with the Russians and in his White House law and football games yet feminine in his graceful and Dapper appearance this ambiguity was a large part of his appeal Disraeli was an incorrigible Dandy in dress and manner some were suspicious of him as a result but his courage in not caring what people thought of him also won him respect and women of course adored him for women always adore a Dandy they appreciated the gentleness of his manner his aesthetic sense his love of clothes in other words his feminine qualities the Mainstay of disraeli's power was in fact a female fan Queen Victoria do not be misled by the surface disapproval your Dandy pose May elicit Society May publicize its distrust of androgyny in Christian theology Satan is often represented as androgynous but this conceals its fascination what is most seductive is often what is most repressed learn a playful dandyism and you will become the magnet for people's dark unrealized yearnings a key to such power is ambiguity in a society where the roles everyone plays are obvious the refusal to conform to any standard will excite interest be both masculine and feminine impudent and Charming subtle and outrageous let other people worry about being socially acceptable those types are a dime a dozen and you are after a power greater than they can imagine dangers the Dandy's strength but also the Dandy's problem is that he or she often Works through transgressive feelings relating to sex roles although this activity is highly charged and seductive it is also dangerous since it touches on a source of great anxiety and insecurity the greater dangers will often come from your own sex Valentino had immense appeal for women but men hated him he was constantly dogged with accusations of being perversely unmasculine and this caused him great pain Salome was equally disliked by women Nietzsche's sister and perhaps his closest friend considered her an evil witch and led a virulent campaign against her in the Press long after the Philosopher's death there is little to be done in the face of resentment like this some dandies try to fight the image they themselves have created but this is unwise to prove his masculinity Valentino would engage in a boxing match anything to prove his masculinity he wound up looking only desperate better to accept society's occasional jibes with Grace and insolence after all the Dandy's charm is that they don't really care what people think of them that is how Andy Warhol played the game when people tired of his Antics or some Scandal erupted instead of trying to defend himself he would simply move on to some new image decadent Bohemian High Society portraitist Etc as if to say with a hint of disdain that the problem lay not with him but with other people's attention span another danger for the Dandy is the fact that insolence has its limits Beau brummell prided himself on two things his trimness of figure and his acerbic wit his main social Patron was the prince of Wales who in later years grew plump one night at dinner the prince rang for the Butler and brahmo Snidely remarked du rang Big Ben the prince did not appreciate the joke had brahmo shown out and never spoke to him again without Royal patronage brahmo fell into poverty and Madness even a Dandy then must measure out his impudence a true Dandy knows the difference between a theatrically staged teasing of the powerful and a remark that will truly hurt offend or insult it is particularly important to avoid insulting those in a position to injure you in fact the pose may work best for those who can afford to offend artists Bohemians Etc in the Work World you will probably have to modify and tone down your Dandy image be pleasantly different an amusement rather than a person who challenges the group's conventions and makes others feel insecure in conclusion here are some further Reflections on the Dandy from ovid's metamorphosis once a son was born to Mercury and the goddess Venus and he was brought up by the nyads in Ida's caves in his features it was easy to trace resemblance to his father and to his mother he was called after them too for his name was hermaphroditus as soon as he was 15 he left his native Hills an Ida where he had been brought up and for the sheer Joy of traveling visited remote places he went as far as the cities of Lucia and on to the carrians who dwell nearby in this region he spied a pool of water so clear that he could see right to the bottom the water was like Crystal and the edges of the pool were ringed with fresh Turf and grass that was always green dwelt there often she would gather flowers and it so happened that she was engaged in this Pastime when she caught sight of the boy hermaphroditus as soon as she had seen him she longed to possess him she addressed him Fair boy you surely deserve to be thought a God if you are perhaps you may be Cupid if there is such a girl engaged to you let me enjoy your love in secret but if there is not then I pray that I may be your bride and that we may enter upon marriage together the nyads said no more but a blush stained the boy's cheeks for he did not know what love was even blushing became him his cheeks were the color of ripe apples hanging in a sunny Orchard like painted Ivory or like the moon when in Eclipse she shows a reddish Hue beneath her brightness incessantly the nymph demanded at least sisterly kisses and tried to put her arms around his Ivory neck will you stop he cried or I shall run away and leave this place and you was afraid I yield the spot to you stranger I shall not intrude she said and turning from him pretended to go away the boy meanwhile thinking himself unobserved and alone strolled this way in that on the grassy sword and dipped his toes in the lapping water then his feet up to the ankles then tempted by the enticing coolness of the waters he quickly stripped his young body of its soft garments at the site salmesis was Spellbound she was on fire with passion to possess his naked Beauty and her very eyes flamed with a Brilliance like that of the dazzling sun when his bright disc is reflected in a mirror she longed to embrace him then and with difficulty restrained her Frenzy hermaphroditus clapping his hollow Palms against his body dived quickly into the stream as he raised first one arm and then the other his body gleamed in the clear water as if someone had encased an ivory statue or white lilies in transparent glass I have won he is mine cried the nymph and flinging aside her garments plunged Into the Heart of the pool the boy fought against her but she held him and snatched kisses as he struggled placing her hands beneath him stroking his unwilling breast and clinging to him now on this side and now on that finally in spite of all his efforts to slip from her grasp she twined around him like a serpent when it is being carried off into the air by the king of birds for as it hangs from the Eagle's beak the snake coils round his head and Talons and with its tail hampers his beating wings you may fight you Rogue but you will not Escape May the gods grant me this may no time to come ever separate him from me or me from him her prayers found favor with the gods for as they lay together their bodies were United and from being two persons they became one as when a gardener grafts a branch onto a tree and sees the two unite as they grow and come to maturity together so when their limbs met in that clinging embrace the nymph and the boy were no longer two but a single form possessed of a dual nature which could not be called male or female but seemed to be at once both and neither from Charles baudelaires The Dandy dandyism is not even as many unthinking people seem to suppose and a moderate interest in personal appearance and material Elegance for the true Dandy these things are only a symbol of the aristocratic superiority of his personality what then is this ruling passion that has turned into a Creed and created its own skilled tyrants what is this Unwritten Constitution that has created so haughty a cast it is above all a burning need to acquire originality within the apparent bounds of convention it is a sort of cult of oneself which can dispense even with what are commonly called illusions it is the Delight in causing astonishment and the proud satisfaction of never oneself being astonished from plutarchs the life of al-sibilities in the midst of this display of statesmanship eloquence cleverness and exalted ambition alcibiades lived a life of prodigious luxury drunkenness debauchery and insolence he was effeminate in his dress and would walk through the marketplace trailing his long purple robes and he spent extravagantly he had the decks of his triremes cut away to allow him to sleep more comfortably and his bedding was slung on chords rather than spread on the hard planks he had a golden shield made for him which was emblazoned not with any ancestral device but with the figure of Eros armed with a thunderbolt the leading men of Athens watched all this was disgust and indignation and they were deeply disturbed by his contemptuous and Lawless Behavior which seemed to them monstrous and suggested the habits of a tyrant the people's feelings towards him have been very aptly expressed by Aristophanes in the line they longed for him they hate him they cannot do without him the fact was that his voluntary donations the public shows he supported his unrivaled munificence to the state the fame of his ancestry the power of His oratory and his physical strength and beauty all combined to make the Athenians forgive him everything else and they were constantly finding euphemisms for his lapses and putting them down to youthful High Spirits and honorable ambition from Venus castina by CJ bullett further light a whole flood of it is thrown upon this attraction of the male in petticoats for the female in the diary of the abeda one of the most brilliant Men Women of history of whom we shall hear a great deal more later diabet a Churchman of Paris was a constant masquerader in female attire he lived in the days of Louis XIV and was a great friend of Louie's brother also addicted to women's clothes a young girl Mademoiselle Charlotte thrown much into his company fell desperately in love with the Abe and when the affair had progressed to a liaison the obey asked her how she came to be one she said I stood in no need of caution as I should have with a man I saw nothing but a beautiful woman and why should I be forbidden to love you what advantages a woman's dress gives you the heart of a man is there and that makes a great impression upon us and on the other hand all the charms of the fair sex Fascinate us and prevent us from taking precautions from the game of Hearts Harriet Wilson's memoirs Beau brummell was regarded as unbalanced in his passion for daily ablutions his ritualistic morning toilet took upward of five hours one hour spent inching himself into his skin-tight Buckskin breeches an hour with the hairdresser and another two hours tying and creasing down a series of starched cravats until Perfection was achieved but first of all two hours were spent scrubbing himself with fetish Zeal from head to toe in milk water and odor cologne Beau brummel said he used only the froth of champagne to polish his Hessian boots he had 365 snuff boxes those suitable for summer wear being quite Unthinkable in winter in the fit of his gloves was achieved by entrusting their cut to two firms one for the fingers the other for the thumbs sometimes however the tyranny of Elegance became altogether insupportable a Mr boothby committed suicide and left a note saying he could no longer endure the anwi of buttoning and unbuttoning contempora this Royal manner which The Dandy raises to the height of true royalty The Dandy has taken this from women who alone seem naturally made for such a role it is somewhat by using the manner and the method of women that the Dandy dominates and this usurpation of femininity he makes women themselves approve of this The Dandy has something anti-natural and androgynous about him which is precisely how he is able to endlessly seduce the natural childhood is the golden Paradise we are always consciously or unconsciously trying to recreate the natural embodies the longed four qualities of childhood spontaneity sincerity unpretentiousness in the presence of Naturals we feel at ease caught up in their playful spirit transported back to that golden age Naturals also make a virtue out of weakness eliciting our sympathy for their trials making us want to protect them and help them as with a child much of this is natural but some of it is exaggerated a conscious seductive maneuver adopt the pose of the natural to neutralize People's Natural defensiveness and infect them with helpless Delight psychological traits of the natural children are not as guileless as we like to imagine they suffer from feelings of helplessness and since early on the power of their natural charm to remedy their weakness in the adult world they learn to play a game if their natural innocence can persuade a parent to yield to their desires in one instance then it is something they can use strategically in another instance laying it on thick at the right moment to get their way if their vulnerability and weakness is so attractive then it is something they can use for effect why are we seduced by children's naturalness first because anything natural has an uncanny effect on us since the beginning of time natural phenomena such as lightning storms or Eclipses have instilled in human beings and awe tinged with fear the more civilized we become the greater the effect such natural events have on us the modern world surrounds us with so much that is manufactured and artificial that something sudden and inexplicable fascinates us children also have this natural power but because they are unthreatening and human they are not so much awe-inspiring as Charming most people try to please but the pleasantness of the child comes effortlessly defying logical explanation and what is irrational is often dangerously seductive more important a child represents a world from which we have been forever exiled because adult life is full of boredom and compromise we Harbor an illusion of childhood as a kind of golden age even though it can often be a period of great confusion and pain it cannot be denied however that childhood had certain Privileges and as children we had a pleasurable attitude to life confronted with a particularly Charming child we often feel wistful we remember our own golden past the qualities we have lost and wish we had again and in the presence of the child we get a little of that goldenness back natural seducers are people who somehow avoided getting certain childish traits drummed out of them by adult experience such people can be as powerfully seductive as any child because it seems uncanny and marvelous that they have preserved such qualities they are not literally like children of course that would make them obnoxious or pitiful rather it is the spirit that they have retained don't imagine that this childishness is something beyond their control natural seducers learn early on the value of retaining a particular quality and the seductive power it contains they adapt and build upon those childlike traits that they managed to preserve exactly as the child learns to play with its natural charm this is the key it is within your power to do the same since there is lurking within all of us a devilish child straining to be let loose to do this successfully you have to be able to let go to a degree since there's nothing less natural than seeming hesitant remember the spirit you once had let it return without self-consciousness people are much more forgiving of those who go all the way who seem uncontrollably foolish than the half-hearted adult with a childish streak remember who you were before you became so polite and self-effacing to assume the role of the natural mentally position yourself in any relationship as the child the younger one the following are the main types of the adult natural keep in mind that the greatest natural seducers are often a blend of more than one of these qualities the innocent the primary qualities of Innocence are weakness and misunderstanding of the world innocence is weak because it is doomed to vanish in a harsh cruel world the child cannot protect or hold on to its innocence the misunderstandings come from the child's not knowing about Good and Evil and seeing everything through uncorrupted eyes the weakness of children elicits sympathy their misunderstandings make us laugh and nothing is more seductive than a mixture of laughter and sympathy the adult natural is not truly innocent it's impossible to grow up in this world and retain total innocence yet Naturals yearn so deeply to hold on to their innocent Outlook that they manage to preserve the illusion of Innocence they exaggerate their weakness to elicit the proper sympathy they act like they still see the world through innocent eyes which in an adult proves doubly humorous much of this is conscious but to be effective adult Naturals must make it seem subtle and effortless if they are seen as trying to act innocent it will come across as pathetic it's better for them to communicate weakness indirectly through looks and glances or through the situations they get themselves into rather than anything obvious since this type of innocence is mostly an act it's easily adaptable for your own purposes learn to play up any natural weaknesses or flaws the Imp ish children have a fearlessness that we adults have lost that's because they don't see the possible consequences of their actions how some people might be offended how they might physically hurt themselves in the process imps are Brazen blissfully uncaring they infect you with their light-hearted Spirit such children have not yet had their natural energy and spirit scolded out of them by the need to be polite and civil secretly we Envy them we want to be naughty too adult imps are seductive because of how different they are from the rest of us breaths of fresh air in a cautious World they go Full Throttle as if their impishness were uncontrollable and thus natural if you play the part don't worry about offending people now and then you're too lovable and inevitably they will forgive you just don't apologize or look contrite for that would break the spell whatever you say or do keep a glint in your eye to show that you don't take anything seriously yeah the Wonder a Wonder child has a special inexplicable Talent a gift for music for mathematics for chess for sport at work in the field in which they have such prodigal skill these children seem possessed and their actions effortless if they're artists or musicians Mozart types their work seems to Spring from some inborn impulse requiring remarkably little thought if it's a physical talent that they have they are blessed with unusual energy dexterity and spontaneity in both cases they seem talented beyond their years this fascinates us adult wonders are often former Wonder children who have managed remarkably to retain their youthful impulsiveness and improvisational skills true spontaneity is a delightful Rarity for everything in life conspires to Rob us of it we have to learn to act carefully and deliberately to think about how we look in other people's eyes to play the Wonder you need some skill that seems easy and natural along with the ability to improvise if in fact your skill takes practice you must hide this and learn to make your work appear effortless the more you hide the sweat behind what you do the more natural and seductive it will appear the undefensive lover people get older they protect themselves against painful experiences by closing themselves off the price for this is that they grow rigid physically and mentally but children are by Nature unprotected and open to experience and this receptiveness is extremely attractive in the presence of children we become less rigid infected with their openness that is why we want to be around them undefensive lovers have somehow circumvented the self-protective process retaining the playful receptive Spirit of the child they often Manifest this Spirit physically they are graceful and seem to age less rapidly than other people of all the naturals character qualities this one is the most useful defensiveness is deadly in seduction act defensive and you'll bring out defensiveness in other people the undefensive lover on the other hand lowers the inhibitions of his or her Target a critical part of Seduction it's important to learn to not react defensively Bend instead of resist be open to influence from others they will more easily fall under your spell examples of natural seducers one as a child growing up in England Charlie Chaplin spent years in dire poverty particularly after his mother was committed to an asylum in his early teens forced to work to live he landed a job in Vaudeville eventually gaining some success as a comedian but chaplain was wildly ambitious and so in 1910 when he was only 19 he emigrated to the United States hoping to break into the film business making his way to Hollywood he found occasional bit Parts but success seemed elusive competition was fierce and although chaplain had a repertoire of gags that he'd learned in Vaudeville he didn't particularly excel at physical humor a critical part of Silent comedy he wasn't a gymnast like Buster Keaton in 1914 Chaplin managed to get the lead in a film short called making a living his role was that of a con artist in playing around with the costume for the part he put on a pair of pants several sizes too large then added a derby hat enormous boots that he wore on the wrong feet a walking cane and a pasted on mustache with the clothes a whole new character seemed to come to life first the silly walk then the twirling of the cane then all sorts of gags Max Senate the head of the studio didn't find making a living very funny and doubted whether Chaplin had a future in the movies but a few critics felt otherwise a review in a trade magazine read a clever player who takes the role of a nervy and very Nifty sharper in this picture is a comedian of the first water who acts like one of Nature's Own Naturals and audiences also responded the film made money what seemed to touch a nerve in making a living setting chaplain apart from the horde of other comedians working in silent film was the almost pathetic naivete of the character he played sensing he was on to something chaplain shaped the role further in subsequent movies rendering him more and more naive the key was to make the character seem to see the world through the eyes of a child in the bank he is the bank janitor who Daydreams of great Deeds while robbers are at work in the building in the pawn broker he is an unprepared shop assistant who wreaks havoc on a grandfather clock in shoulder arms he is a soldier in the bloodied trenches of World War One reacting to the horrors of War like an innocent child chaplain made sure to cast actors in his films who were physically larger than he was subliminally positioning them as adult bullies and himself as the helpless infant and as he went deeper into his character something strange happened character and the real life man began to merge although he had had a troubled childhood he was obsessed with it for his film Easy Street he built a set in Hollywood that duplicated the London streets he had known as a boy he mistrusted The Adult World preferring the company of the young or the young at heart three of his four wives were teenagers when he married them more than any other comedian chaplain aroused a mix of laughter and sentiment he made you empathize with him as the victim feel sorry for him the way you would for a lost dog you both laughed and cried and audiences sensed that the Royal Chaplin played came from somewhere deep inside that he was sincere that he was actually playing himself within a few years after making a living chaplain was the most famous actor in the world there were chaplain dolls comic books toys popular songs and short stories were written about him he became a universal icon in 1921 when he returned to London for the first time since he'd left it he was greeted by enormous crowds as if at the triumphant return of a great General the greatest seducers those who seduce Mass audiences Nations the world have a way of playing on people's unconscious making them react in a way they can neither understand nor control chaplain inadvertently hit on this power when he discovered the effect he could have on audiences by playing up his weakness by suggesting that he had a child's mind in an adult body in the early 20th century the world was radically and rapidly changing people were working longer and longer hours had increasingly mechanical jobs life was becoming steadily more inhuman and heartless as the ravages of World War One made clear caught in the midst of revolutionary change people yearn for a lost childhood that they imagined as a golden Paradise an adult child like chaplain has immense seductive power for he offers the illusion that life was once simpler and easier and that for a moment or for as long as the movie lasts you can win that life back in a cruel a moral world naiveite has enormous appeal the key is to bring it off with an air of total seriousness as the straight man does in stand-up comedy more important however is the creation of sympathy over its strength and power is rarely seductive it makes us afraid or envious the Royal Road to seduction is to play up your vulnerability and helplessness you cannot make this obvious to seem to be begging for sympathies to seem needy which is entirely anti-seductive do not Proclaim yourself a victim or Underdog but reveal it in your manner in your confusion a display of natural weakness will make you instantly lovable both lowering people's defenses and making them feel delightfully Superior to you put yourself in situations that make you seem weak in which someone else has the advantage they are the bully you are the innocent lamb without any effort on your part people will feel sympathy for you once people's eyes Cloud over with sentimental Mist they will not see how you are manipulating them 2. Emma Crouch born in 1842 in Plymouth England came from a respectable middle class family her father was a composer and music Professor who dreamed of success in the world of Light Opera among his many children Emma was his favorite she was a delightful child Lively and flirtatious with red hair and a freckled face her father doted on her and promised her a brilliant future in the theater unfortunately Mr Crouch had a dark side he was an adventurer a gambler and a rake and in 1849 he abandoned his family and left for America the crouches were now in Dire Straits Emma was told that her father had died in an accident and she was sent off to a convent the loss of her father affected her deeply and as the years went by she seemed lost in the past acting as if he still doted on her one day in 1856 when Emma was walking home from church A well-dressed gentleman invited her home for some cakes she followed him to his house where he proceeded to take advantage of her the next morning this man a diamond Merchant promised to set her up in a house of her own treat her well and give her plenty of money she took the money but left him determined to do what she had always wanted never see her family again never depend on anyone and lead the grand life that her father had promised her with the money the diamond Merchant had given her Emma bought nice clothes and rented a cheap flat adopting the flamboyant name of Cora Pearl she began to frequent London's Argyle rooms a fancy gin Palace where harlots and gentlemen rubbed elbows the proprietor of the argyle a Mr bignell took note of this newcomer to his establishment she was so Brazen for a young girl at 45 he was much older than she was but he decided to be her lover and protector lavishing her with money and attention the following year he took her to Paris which was at the height of its Second Empire prosperity Cora was enthralled by Paris and of all its sites but what impressed her the most was the parade of Rich coaches in the buloni here the fashionable came to take the air the empress the princesses and not least the grand courtesans who had the most opulent carriages of all this was the way to lead the kind of Life Cora's father had wanted for her she promptly told bignor that when he went back to London she would stay on alone frequenting all the right places Cora soon came to the attention of wealthy French gentlemen they would see her walking the streets in a bright pink dress to complement her flaming red hair pale face and freckles they would Glimpse her riding wildly through the boulon cracking her whip left and right they would see her in cafes surrounded by men her witty insults making them laugh they also heard of her exploits of her Delight in showing her body to one and all the elite of Paris Society began to court her particularly the older men who had grown tired of the cold and calculating courtesans and who admired her girlish spirit as money began to pour in from her various conquests the Duke De Mornay heir to the Dutch Throne Prince Napoleon cousin to the emperor Cora spent it on the most outrageous things a multi-colored carriage pulled by a team of cream-colored horses a rose marble bathtub with her initials inlaid in gold gentlemen vied to be the one who would spoil her the most an Irish lover wasted his entire fortune on her in only eight weeks but money couldn't buy Cora's loyalty she would leave a man on the slightest whim Cora Pearl's wild behavior and disdain for etiquette had all of Paris on edge in 1864 she was to appear as cupid in the Offenbach Operetta Orpheus in the Underworld Society was dying to see what she would do to cause a sensation and soon found out she came on stage practically naked except for expensive diamonds here and there barely covering her as she pranced on stage the diamonds fell off each one worth a fortune she didn't stoop to pick them up but let them roll off into the Footlights the gentleman in the audience some of whom had given her those diamonds applauded her wildly Antics like this made Cora the toast of Paris and she reigned as the city's Supreme courtesan for over a decade until the franco-prussian war of 1870 put an end to the Second Empire people often mistakenly believe that what makes a person desirable and seductive is physical Beauty Elegance or overt sexuality yet Cora Pearl was not dramatically beautiful her body was boyish and her style was garish and tasteless even so the most dashing men of Europe vied for her favors often ruining themselves in the process it was Cora's spirit and attitude that enthralled them spoiled by her father she imagined that spoiling her was natural that all men should do the same the consequence was that like a child she never felt she had to try to please it was Cora's powerful heir of Independence that made men want to possess her tame her she never pretended to be anything more than a courtesan so the brazenness that in a lady would have been uncivil in her seemed natural and fun and as with a spoiled child a man's relationship with her was on her terms the moment he tried to change that she lost interest this was the secret of her astounding success spoiled children have an undeservedly bad reputation while those who are spoiled with material things are indeed often insufferable those who are spoiled with affection know themselves to be deeply seductive this becomes a distinct Advantage when they grow up According to Freud who was speaking from experience since he was his mother's darling spoiled children have a confidence that stays with them all their lives this quality radiates outward drawing others to them and in a circular process making people spoil them still more since their spirit and Natural Energy were never tamed by a disciplining parent as adults they are adventurous and bold and often impish or brazen the lesson is simple it may be too late to be spoiled by a parent but it is never too late to make other people spoil you it is all in your attitude people are drawn to those who expect a lot out of life whereas they tend to disrespect those who are fearful and undemanding wild Independence has a provocative effect on us it appeals to us while also presenting us with a challenge we want to be the one to tame it to make the spirited person dependent on us half of Seduction is stirring such competitive desires three in October of 1925 Paris Society was all excited about the opening of the review negro jazz or in fact anything that came from Black America was the latest fashion and the Broadway dancers and performers who made up the review Negra were African-American on opening night artists and high society packed the hall the show was spectacular as they expected but nothing prepared them for the last number performed by a somewhat gawky long-legged woman with the prettiest face Josephine Baker 20 year old chorus girl from East St Louis she came on stage bear-breasted wearing a skirt of feathers over a satin bikini bottom with feathers around her neck and ankles although she performed her number called Dolce with another dancer also clad in feathers all eyes were riveted on her her whole body seemed to come alive in a way the audience had never seen before her legs moving with the lightness of a cat her rear end gyrating and patterns that one critic likened to a hummingbirds as the dance went on she seemed possessed feeding off the crowd's ecstatic reaction and then there was the look on her face she was having such fun she radiated a joy that made her erotic dance oddly innocent even slightly comic by the following day word had spread star was born Josephine became the heart of the review Nega and Paris was at her feet within a year her face was on posters everywhere there were Josephine Baker perfumes dolls clothes fashionable French women were slicking their hair back ala Baker using a product called bakerfix they were even trying to darken their skin such sudden Fame represented quite a change for just a few years earlier Josephine had been a young girl growing up in East St Louis one of America's worst slums she had gone to work at the age of eight cleaning houses for a white woman who beat her she had sometimes slept in a rat infested basement there had never been heat in the winter she had taught herself to dance in her wild fashion to help keep herself warm in 1919 Josephine had run away and become a part-time Vaudeville performer Landing in New York two years later without money or connections she had had some success as a clowning chorus girl providing comic relief with her crossed eyes and screwed up face which she hadn't stood out then she was invited to Paris some other black performers had declined fearing things might be still worse for them in France than in America but Josephine jumped at the chance despite her success with the review Negra Josephine did not delude herself parisians were notoriously fickle she decided to turn the relationship around first she refused to be aligned with any club and developed a reputation for breaking contracts at will making it clear that she was ready to leave in an instant since childhood she had been afraid of dependence on anyone now no one could take her for granted this only made impresarios chase her and the public appreciate her the more second she was aware that although Black Culture had become the Vogue what the french had fallen in love with was a kind of caricature if that was what it took to be successful so be it but Josephine made it clear that she didn't take the caricature seriously instead she reversed it becoming the ultimate French woman of fashion a caricature not of Blackness but of whiteness everything was a role to play the comedienne the Primitive dancer the ultra stylish Parisian and everything Josephine did she did with such a light Spirit such a lack of pretension that she continued to seduce the jaded French for years her funeral in 1975 was nationally televised a huge cultural event she was buried with the kind of pomp normally reserved only for heads of state from very early on Josephine Baker couldn't stand the feeling of having no control over the world yet what could she do in the face of her uncompromising circumstances some young girls put all their Hope on a husband but Josephine's father had left her mother soon after she was born and she saw a marriage as something that would only make her more miserable her solution was something children often do confronted with a hopeless environment she closed herself off in a world of her own making oblivious to the ugliness around her this world was filled with dancing clowning dreams of great things let other people wail and moan Josephine would smile remain confident and self-reliant almost everyone who met her from her earliest years to her last commented on how seductive this quality was her refusal to compromise or to be what she was expected to be made everything she did seem authentic and natural child loves to play and to create a little self-contained world when children are absorbed in make-believe they are hopelessly Charming they Infuse their imaginings with such seriousness and feeling adult Naturals do something similar particularly if they are artists they create their own fantasy world and live in it as if it were the real one fantasy is so much more pleasant than reality and since most people don't have the power or courage to create such a world they enjoy being around those who do remember the role you were given in life is not the role you have to accept you can always live out a role of your own creation a role that fits your fantasy learn to play with your image never taking it too seriously key is to infuse your play with the conviction and feeling of a child making it seem natural the more absorbed you seem in your own joy-filled world the more seductive you become don't go halfway make the fantasy you inhabit as radical and exotic as possible and you will attract attention like a magnet or it was the Festival of the cherry blossom at the heian court in late 10th Century Japan in The Emperor's Palace many of the courtiers were drunk and others were fast asleep with a young princess oborozukio the emperor's sister-in-law was awake and reciting a poem what can compare with a misty Moon of spring her voice was smooth and delicate she moved to the door of her apartment to look at the Moon then suddenly she smelled something sweet and a hand clutched the sleeve of her robe who are you she said frightened there's nothing to be afraid of came a man's voice and continued with a poem of his own late in the night we enjoy a misty Moon there is nothing Misty about the bond between us without another word the man pulled the princess to him and picked her up carrying her into a gallery outside her room sliding the door closed behind him she was terrified and tried to call for help in the darkness she heard him say a little louder now it will do you no good I am always allowed my way just be quiet if you will please now the princess recognized the voice and the scent it was Genji the young son of the late Emperor's concubine whose robes bore a distinctive perfume this calmed her somewhat since the man was someone she knew but on the other hand she also knew of his reputation Genji was the Court's most incorrigible Seducer a man who stopped at nothing he was drunk it was near Dawn and the Watchman would soon be on their rounds she didn't want to be discovered with him but then she began to make out the outlines of his face so pretty his look so sincere without a trace of malice then came more poems recited in that Charming voice the words so insinuating the images he conjured filled her mind and distracted her from his hands she could not resist him as the light began to rise Genji got to his feet he said a few tender words they exchanged fans and then he quickly left the serving women were coming through the emperor's rooms by now and when they saw Genji scurrying away the perfume of his robes lingering after him they smiled knowing he was up to his usual tricks but they never imagined he would dare approach the sister of the emperor's wife in the days that followed oborozukio could only think of Genji she knew he had other Mistresses but when she tried to put him out of her mind a letter from him would arrive and she would be back to square one in truth she had started the correspondence haunted by his midnight visit she had to see him again despite the risk of Discovery and the fact that her sister cookidan the emperor's wife hated Genji she arranged for further trysts in her apartment but one night an envious courtier found them together word reached kokiden who naturally was Furious she demanded that Genji be banished from court and the emperor had no choice but to agree Genji went far away and things settled down then the Emperor died and his son took over a kind of emptiness had come to the court the dozens of women whom Genji had seduced could not endure his absence and flooded him with letters even women who had never known him intimately would weep over any Relic he had left behind a robe for instance in which his scent still lingered and the young Emperor missed his jocular presence and the princesses missed the music he had played on the Koto anoborozukio pined for his midnight visits finally even kokiden broke down realizing that she couldn't resist him so Genji was summoned back to the court and Not only was he forgiven he was given a hero's welcome the young Emperor himself greeted the scoundrel with tears in his eyes story of Genji's life is told in the 11th century novel The Tale of Genji written by Murasaki shikiwu a woman of the heian Court the character was most likely based on a real-life man fujiwara nokorechika indeed another book of the period the pillow book of say shamagon describes an encounter between the female author and korechka and Reveals His incredible charm and his almost hypnotic effect on women Genji is a natural an undefensive lover a man who has a lifelong obsession with women but whose appreciation of and affection for them makes him irresistible as he says to oborozukio in the novel I am always allowed my way this self-belief is half of Genji's charm resistance doesn't make him defensive he Retreats gracefully reciting a little poetry and as he leaves the perfume of his robes trailing behind him his victim wonders why she has been so afraid and what she is missing by spurning him and she finds a way to let him know that the next time things will be different Genji takes nothing seriously or personally and at the age of 40 an age at which most men of the 11th century were already looking old and worn he still seems like a boy his seductive Powers never leave him human beings are immensely suggestible their moods will easily spread to the people around them in fact seduction depends on Nemesis on the Conscious Creation of a mood or feeling that is then reproduced by the other person but hesitation and awkwardness are also contagious and are deadly to seduction if in a key moment you seem indecisive or self-conscious the other person will sense that you're thinking of yourself instead of being overwhelmed by his or her charms the spell will be broken as an undefensive lover though you produce the opposite effect your victim might be hesitant or worried but confronted with someone so sure and natural he or she will be caught up in the mood like dancing with someone you lead effortlessly across the dance floor it is a skill you can learn it's a matter of rooting out the fear and awkwardness that have built up in you over the years of becoming more graceful with your approach less defensive when others seem to resist often people's resistance is a way of testing you and if you show any awkwardness or hesitation you not only will fail the test but you will risk infecting them with your doubts dangers a childish quality can be Charming but it can also be irritating the innocent have no experience of the world and their sweetness can prove cloying in Milan kundara's novel The Book of laughter and forgetting the hero dreams that he is trapped on an island with a group of children soon their wonderful qualities become intensely annoying to him after a few days of exposure to them he cannot relate to them at all the dream turns into a nightmare and he longs to be back among adults with real things to do and talk about because total childishness can quickly great the most seductive Naturals are those who like Josephine Baker combine adult experience and wisdom with a childlike manner it is this mixture of qualities that is most alluring Society cannot tolerate too many Naturals given a crowd of Cora pearls or Charlie Chaplin's their charm would quickly wear off in any case it's usually only artists or people with abundant Leisure Time who can afford to go all the way the best way to use the natural character type is in specific situations when a touch of Innocence or impishness will help lower your Target's defenses a con man plays Dumb to make the other person trust him and feel Superior this kind of feigned naturalness has countless applications in daily life where nothing is more dangerous than looking smarter than the next person the natural pose is the perfect way to disguise your cleverness but if you are uncontrollably childish and cannot turn it off you run the risk of seeming pathetic earning not sympathy but pity and disgust similarly the seductive traits of the natural work best in one who is still young enough for them to seem natural they are much harder for an older person to pull off Cora Pearl didn't seem so Charming when she was still wearing her pink flouncy dresses in her 50s the Duke of Buckingham who seduced everyone in the English Court in the 1620s including the homosexual King James the first himself was wondrously childish in looks and manner but this became obnoxious and off-putting as he grew older and he eventually made enough enemies that he ended up being murdered as you age then your natural qualities should suggest more the child's open Spirit less an innocence that will no longer convince anyone in conclusion here are some further Reflections on the natural from the standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud volume 23. long past ages have a great and often puzzling attraction for men's imagination whenever they are dissatisfied with their present surroundings and this happens often enough they turn back to the past and hope that they will now be able to prove the truth of the inextinguishable dream of a golden age they are probably still under the spell of their childhood which is presented to them by their not impartial memory as a time of uninterrupted Bliss from the Greek myths by Robert Graves when Hermes was born on Mount Cellini his mother Maya laid him in swaddling bands on a winnowing fan but he grew with astonishing quickness into a little boy and as soon as her back was turned slipped off and went looking for adventure arrived at pyeria where Apollo was tending a fine herd of cows he decided to steal them but fearing to be betrayed by their tracks he quickly made a number of shoes from the bark of a Fallen Oak and tied them with plated grass to the feet of the cows which he then drove off by Night along the road Apollo discovered the loss but hermes's trick deceived him and though he went as far as pilus in his Westward search and to unquestus in his Eastern he was forced in the end to offer a reward for the apprehension of the thief silenus and his seders greedy of reward spread out in different directions to track him down but for a long while without success at last as a party of them passed through Arcadia they heard the muffled Sound of Music such as they had never heard before and the nymph Salini from the mouth of a cave told them that a most gifted child had recently been born there to whom she was acting as nurse he had constructed an ingenious musical toy from the shell of a tortoise and some cowgat with which he had lulled his mother to sleep and from whom did he get the cow gut asked the alert saters noticing two hides stretched outside the cave do you charge the poor child with theft asked Salini harsh words were exchanged at that moment Apollo came up having discovered the thief's identity by observing the suspicious behavior of a long-winged bird entering the cave he awakened Maya and told her severely that Hermes must restore the stolen cows Maya pointed to the child still wrapped in his swaddling bands and feigning sleep would an absurd charge she cried but Apollo had already recognized the hides he picked up Hermes carried him to Olympus and there formally accused him of theft offering the hides as evidence Zeus loathed to believe that his own newborn son was a thief encouraged him to plead not guilty but Apollo would not be put off and Hermes at last weakened and confessed very well come with me he said and you may have your herd I slaughtered only two and those I cut up into 12 equal portions as a sacrifice to the twelve gods 12 gods asked Apollo who was the twelfth your servant sir replied Hermes modestly I ate no more than my share though I was very hungry and duly burned the rest the two Gods Hermes and Apollo returned to mount Salini where Hermes greeted his mother and retrieved something that he had hidden underneath a sheepskin what have you there asked Apollo in answer Hermes showed his newly invented tortoise shell liar and played such a ravishing tune on it with a plectrum he had also invented at the same time singing In Praise of Apollo's nobility intelligence and generosity that he was forgiven at once he led the surprised and delighted Apollo to pilus playing all the way and there gave him the remainder of the cattle which he had hidden in a cave a bargain cried Apollo you keep the cows and I take the liar agreed said Hermes and they shook hands on it Apollo taking the child back to Olympus told Zeus all that had happened Zeus warned Hermes that henceforth he must respect the rights of property and refrain from telling downright lies but he could not help being amused you seem to be a very ingenious eloquent and persuasive godling he said then make me your Herald father Hermes answered and I will be responsible for the safety of all Divine property and never tell lies though I cannot promise always to tell the whole truth that would not be expected of you said Zeus with a smile Zeus gave him a Herald staff with white ribbons which everyone was ordered to respect a round hat against the rain and winged golden sandals which carried him about with the swiftness of the Wind from Love by standal a man may meet a woman and be shocked by her ugliness soon if she is natural and unaffected her expression makes him Overlook the fault of her features he begins to find her Charming it enters his head that she might be loved and a week later he is living in Hope the following week he has been snubbed into Despair and the week afterwards he has gone mad from notes of a film director by Sergey eisenstein geographical escapism has been rendered ineffective by the spread of air routes what remains is evolutionary escapism a downward course in one's development back to the ideas and emotions of golden childhood which may well be defined as regress towards infantilism escape to a personal world of childish ideas in a strictly regulated Society where life follows strictly defined canons the urge to escape from the chain of things established once and for all must be felt particularly strongly and the most perfect of comedians does this with utmost Perfection for chaplain serves this principle through the subtlety of his method which offering The Spectator an infantile pattern to be imitated psychologically infects him with infantilism and draws him into the Golden Age of the infantile Paradise of childhood a quote from Gustav clauda a contemporary of Cora Pearl Prince gorchikov used to say that she was the last word in luxury and that he would have tried to steal the sum to satisfy one of her whims from influencing human behavior by Professor H.A Overstreet apparently the possession of humor implies the possession of a number of typical habit systems the first is an emotional one the habit of playfulness why should one be proud of being playful for a double reason first playfulness connotes childhood and youth if one can be playful one still possesses something of the Vigor and the joy of young life but there is a deeper implication to be playful is in a sense to be free when a person is playful he momentarily disregards The Binding Necessities which compel him in business and morals in domestic and community life what Galls us is that The Binding Necessities do not permit us to shape our world as we please what we must deeply desire however is to create our world for ourselves whenever we can do that even in the slightest degree we are happy now in play we create our own world from the tale of Genji by Murasaki shikibu all was quiet again Genji slipped the latch open and tried the doors they had not been bolted a curtain had been set up just inside and in the dim light he could make out Chinese chests and other Furniture scattered in some disorder he made his way through to her side she lay by herself a slight little figure though vaguely annoyed at being disturbed she evidently took him for the woman chujo until he pulled back the covers his manner was so gently persuasive that devils and demons could not have gain saved him she was so small that he lifted her easily as he passed through the doors to his own room he came upon shujo who had been summoned earlier he called out in surprise surprise in turn chujo peered into the darkness the perfume that came from his robes like a cloud of smoke told her who he was chujo followed after but Genji was quite unmoved by her please come for her in the morning he said sliding the doors closed the lady was bathed in perspiration and quite beside herself with the thought of what chujo and the others too would be thinking Genji had to feel sorry for her yet the sweet words poured forth the hall gamut of pretty devices for making a woman surrender one may imagine that he found many kind promises with which to comfort her the Coquette the ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate Art of Seduction while waiting the victim is held in thrall coquettes are the grand masters of this game orchestrating a back and forth movement between hope and frustration they bait with the promise of reward the hope of physical pleasure happiness Fame by association power all of which however proves elusive yet this only makes their targets pursue them more coquettes seem totally self-sufficient they don't need you they seem to say and their narcissism proves devilishly attractive you want to conquer them but they hold the cards the strategy of the Coquette is never to offer total satisfaction initiate the alternating heat and coolness of the Coquette and you will keep the seduced at your heels the hot and cold Coquette in the Autumn of 1795 Paris was caught up in a strange giddiness the reign of terror that had followed the French Revolution had ended the sound of the guillotine was gone the city breathed a collective sigh of relief and gave way to wild parties and endless festivals the young Napoleon Bonaparte 26 at the time had no interest in such revelries he'd made a name for himself as a bright audacious General who had helped quell rebellion in the provinces but his ambition was boundless and he burned with desire for new conquests so when in October of that year the infamous 33 year old Widow Josephine de Boerne visited his office he couldn't help but be confused Josephine was so exotic and everything about her was languorous and sensual she capitalized on her foreignness she came from the island of Martinique on the other hand she had a reputation as a loose woman and the shy Napoleon believed in marriage even so when Josephine invited him to one of her weekly soirees he found himself accepting at the Soiree he felt totally out of his element all of the city's great writers and wits were there as well as the few of the nobility who had survived Josephine herself was a vicontes and had narrowly escaped the guillotine the women were dazzling some of them more beautiful than the hostess but all the men congregated around Josephine drawn by her graceful presence and queenly manner several times she left the men behind and went to Napoleon's side nothing could have flattered his insecure ego more than such attention he began to pay her visits sometimes she would ignore him and he would leave in a fit of anger yet the next day a passionate letter would arrive from Josephine and he would rush to see her soon he was spending most of his time with her her occasional shows of sadness her bouts of anger or of Tears only deepened his attachment in March of 1796 Napoleon married Josephine two days after his wedding Napoleon left to lead a campaign in Northern Italy against the austrians you are the constant object of my thoughts he wrote to his wife from abroad my imagination exhausts itself and guessing what you're doing his generals saw him distracted he would leave meetings early spend hours writing letters or stare at the miniature of Josephine he wore around his neck he had been driven to this state by the unbearable distance between them and by a slight coldness he now detected in her she wrote infrequently and her letters lacked passion nor did she join him in Italy he had to finish his War fast so that he could return to her side engaging the enemy with unusual Zeal he began to make mistakes to live for Josephine he wrote to her I work to get near you I kill myself to reach you his letters became more passionate and erotic a friend of Josephine who saw them wrote the handwriting was almost indecipherable the spelling shaky the style bizarre and Confused what a position for a woman to find herself in being the motivating force behind the triumphal March of an entire Army months went by in which Napoleon begged Josephine to come to Italy and she made endless excuses but finally she agreed to come and left Paris for brescia where he was headquartered a near Encounter With the Enemy along the way however forced her to detour to Milan Napoleon was away from brescia in battle when he returned to find her still absent he blamed his foe General vermzer and swore Revenge for the next few months he seemed to pursue two Targets with equal energy vermzer and Josephine his wife was never where she was supposed to be I reach Milan rushed to your house having thrown aside everything in order to clasp you in my arms you are not there he wrote Napoleon would turn angry and jealous but when he finally caught up with Josephine the slightest of her favors melted his heart he took long rides with her in a darkened Carriage while his generals fumed meetings were missed orders and strategies improvised never he later wrote to her has a woman been in such complete Mastery of another's heart and yet their time together was so short during a campaign that lasted almost a year Napoleon spent a mere 15 nights with his new bride Napoleon later heard rumors that Josephine had taken a lever while he was in Italy his feelings toward her cooled and he himself took an endless series of mistresses yet Josephine was never really concerned about this threat to her power over her husband a few tears some theatrics a little coldness on her part and he remained her slave he in 1804 he had her crowned empress and had she born him a son she would have remained Empress to the end when Napoleon lay on his deathbed the last word he uttered was Josephine during the French Revolution Josephine had come within minutes of losing her head on the guillotine The Experience left her without Illusions and with two goals in mind to live a life of pleasure and to find the man who could best Supply it she set her sights on Napoleon early on he was young and had a brilliant future beneath his calm exterior Josephine sensed he was highly emotional and aggressive but this didn't intimidate her it only revealed his insecurity and weakness he would be easy to enslave first Josephine adapted to his moods Charmed him with her feminine Grace warmed him with her looks and manner he wanted to possess her and once she had aroused this desire her power lay in postponing its satisfaction withdrawing from him frustrating him in fact the torture of the chase gave Napoleon a masochistic pleasure he yearned to subdue her independent Spirit as if she were an enemy in battle people are inherently perverse an easy Conquest has a lower value than a difficult one we're only really excited by what has denied Us by what we cannot possess in full your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away to make others come after you delaying their satisfaction most people miscalculate and surrender too soon worried that the other person will lose interest or that giving the other what he or she wants will grant The Giver a kind of power the truth is the opposite once you satisfy someone you no longer have the initiative and you open yourself to the possibility that he or she will lose interest at the slightest whim remember vanity is critical in love make your targets afraid that you may be withdrawing that you may not really be interested and you arouse their innate insecurity their fear that as you have gotten to know them they have become less exciting to you these insecurities are devastating then once you have made them uncertain of you and of themselves reignite their hope making them feel desired again hot and cold hot and cold such coca tree is perversely pleasurable heightening interest and keeping the initiative on your side never be put off by your Target's anger it is a sure sign of enslavement the cold Coquette in 1952 the writer Truman Capote a recent success in literary and Social Circles began to receive an almost daily barrage of fan mail from a young man named Andy Warhol an illustrator for shoe designers fashion magazines and the like Warhol made pretty stylized drawings some of which he sent to Capote hoping the author would include them in one of his books Capote did not respond one day he came home to find Warhol talking to his mother with whom Capote lived and Warhol began to telephone almost daily finally Capote put an end to all this he seemed one of those hopeless people that you just know nothing's ever going to happen to just a hopeless born loser the writer later said Ten Years Later Andy Warhol aspiring artist had his first one-man show at the stable Gallery in Manhattan on the walls were a series of silk screened paintings based on the Campbell's Soup can and the Coca-Cola bottle at the opening and at the party afterward Warhol stood to the side staring blankly talking little what a contrast he was to the older generation of artists the abstract expressionists mostly hard drinking womanizers full of Bluster and aggression big talkers who had dominated the art scene for the previous 15 years and what a change from the Warhol who had badgered Capote and art dealers and patrons as well the critics were both baffled and intrigued by the coldness of warhol's work they could not figure out how the artist felt about his subjects what was his position what was he trying to say when they asked he would simply reply I just do it because I like it or I love soup the critics went wild with their interpretations an art like Warhols is necessarily parasitic upon the myths of its time one wrote another the decision not to decide is a paradox that is equal to an idea which expresses nothing but then gives it dimension the show was a huge success establishing Warhol as a leading figure in a New Movement pop art in 1963 Warhol rented a large Manhattan Loft space that he called the factory and that soon became the Hub of a large Entourage Hangers On actors aspiring artists here particularly at night Warhol would simply wander about or stand in a corner people would gather around him fight for his attention throw questions at him and he would answer in his non-committal way but no one could get close to him physically or mentally he would not allow it at the same time if he walked by you without giving you his usual oh hi you were devastated he hadn't noticed you perhaps you were on the way out increasingly interested in filmmaking Warhol cast his friends in his movies in effect he was offering them a kind of instant celebrity their 15 minutes of fame the phrase is Warhols soon people were competing for roles he groomed women in particular for stardom Edie Sedgwick Viva Nico just being around him offered a kind of celebrity by association the factory became the place to be seen in stars like Judy Garland and Tennessee Williams would go to parties there rubbing elbows with Cedric Viva and the Bohemian lower echelons whom Warhol had befriended people began sending limos to bring him to parties of their own his presence alone was enough to turn a social evening into a scene even though he would pass through in near silence keeping to himself and leaving early in 1967 Warhol was asked to lecture at various colleges he hated to talk particularly about his own art the less something has to say he felt the more perfect it is but the money was good and Warhol always found it hard to say no his solution was simple he asked an actor Alan mager to impersonate him mijay was dark-haired tan part Cherokee Indian he did not resemble Warhol in the least but Warhol and Friends covered his face with powder sprayed his brown hair silver gave him dark glasses and dressed him in warhol's clothes since major knew nothing about art his answers to students questions tended to be as short and enigmatic as warhol's own the impersonation worked Warhol may have been an icon but no one really knew him and since he often wore dark glasses even his face was unfamiliar in any detail the lecture audiences were far enough away to be teased by the thought of his presence and no one got close enough to catch the deception he remained elusive early on in life Andy Warhol was plagued by conflicting emotions he desperately wanted Fame but he was naturally passive and shy I've always had a conflict he later said because I'm shy and yet I like to take up a lot of personal space mom always said don't be pushy but let everyone know you're around at first Warhol tried to make himself more aggressive straining to please in court it didn't work after 10 feudal years he stopped trying and gave in to his own passivity only to discover the power that withdrawal commands Warhol began this process in his artwork which changed dramatically in the early 1960s his new paintings of Soup cans Green Stamps and other widely known images did not assault you with meaning in fact their meaning was totally elusive which only heightened their fascination they drew you in by their immediacy their visual power their coldness having transformed his art Warhol also transformed himself like his paintings he became pure surface he trained himself to hold himself back to stop talking the world is full of people who try people who impose themselves aggressively they may gain temporary victories but the longer they are around the more people want to confound them they leave no space around themselves and without space there can be no seduction cold coquettes create space by remaining Elusive and making others pursue them their coolness suggests a comfortable confidence that it's exciting to be around even though it may not actually exist their silence makes you want to talk their self-containment their appearance of having no need for other people only makes us want to do things for them hungry for the slightest sign of recognition and favor cold coquettes may be maddening to deal with never committing but never saying no never allowing closeness but more often than not we find ourselves coming back to them addicted to the coldness they project remember seduction is a process of drawing people in making them want to pursue and possess you seem distant and people will go mad to win your favor humans like nature hate a vacuum an emotional distance in silence make them strain to fill up the empty space with words and heat of Their Own like Warhol stand back and let them fight over you keys to the character according to the popular concept coquettes are consummate teases experts at a rousing desire through a provocative appearance or an alluring attitude but the real essence of coquettes is in fact their ability to trap people emotionally and to keep their victims in their clutches long after that first titillation of Desire this is the skill that puts them in the ranks of the most effective seducers their success may seem somewhat odd since they're essentially cold and distant creatures should you ever get to know one well you will sense his or her inner core of Detachment and self-love it may seem logical that once you become aware of this quality you will see through the coquette's manipulations and lose interest but more often we see the opposite after years of Josephine's coquettish games Napoleon was well aware of how manipulative she was yet this conqueror of Kingdoms this skeptic and cynic could not leave her to understand the peculiar power of the Coquette you must first understand a critical property of Love and Desire the more obviously you pursue a person the more likely you are to chase them away too much attention can be interesting for a while but it soon grows cloying and finally becomes claustrophobic and frightening it signals weakness and neediness and unseductive combination how often we make this mistake thinking our persistent presence will reassure but coquettes have an inherent understanding of this particular dynamic masters of selective withdrawal they hint at coldness absenting themselves at times to keep their victim off balance surprised intrigued their withdrawals make them mysterious and we build them up in our imaginations familiarity on the other hand undermines what we have built a bout of distance engages the emotions further instead of making us angry it makes us insecure perhaps they don't really like us perhaps we have lost their interest once our vanity is at stake we succumb to the Coquette just to prove we are still desirable remember the essence of the Coquette lies not in the teas and temptation but in the subsequent step back the emotional withdrawal that is the key to enslaving desire to adopt the power of the Coquette you must understand one other quality narcissism Sigmund Freud characterized the quote narcissistic woman most often obsessed with her appearance as the type with the greatest effect on men as children he explains we pass through a narcissistic phase that is immensely pleasurable happily self-contained and self-involved we have little psychic need of other people then slowly we are socialized and taught to pay attention to others but we secretly yearn for those Blissful early days the narcissistic woman reminds a man of that period and makes him envious perhaps contact with her will restore that feeling of self-involvement a man is also challenged by the female coquette's Independence he wants to be the one to make her dependent to burst her bubble it is far more likely though that he will end up becoming her slave giving her incessant attention to gain her love and failing for the narcissistic woman is not emotionally needy she is self-sufficient and this is surprisingly seductive self-esteem is critical in seduction your attitude towards yourself is read by the other person in subtle and unconscious ways low self-esteem repels confidence and self-sufficiency attract the less you seem to need other people the more likely others will be drawn to you understand the importance of this in all relationships and you will find your neediness easier to suppress but to not confuse self-absorption with seductive narcissism talking endlessly about yourself is eminently anti-seductive revealing not self-sufficiency but insecurity the Coquette is traditionally thought of as female and certainly the strategy was for centuries one of the few weapons women had to engage and enslave a man's desire one Ploy of the Coquette is the withdrawal of sexual favors and we see women using this trick throughout history the great 17th century French cortisone ninon de lanclo was desired by all the preeminent men of France but only attained real power when she made it clear that she would no longer sleep with a man as part of her Duty this drove her admirers to despair which she knew how to make worse by favoring a man temporarily granting him access to her body for a few months then returning him to the pack of the unsatisfied Queen Elizabeth the First of England took coquettishness to the extreme deliberately arousing the desires of her courtiers but sleeping with none of them long a tool of Social Power for women coquettishness was slowly adapted by men particularly the great seducers of the 17th and 18th centuries who envied the power of such women one 17th century Seducer the Duke de Loza was a master at exciting a woman then suddenly acting aloof women went wild over him today coca tree is genderless in a world that discourages direct confrontation teasing coldness and selective aloofness are a form of indirect power that brilliantly disguises its own aggression the Coquette must first and foremost be able to excite the target of his or her attention the attraction can be sexual The Lure of celebrity whatever it takes at the same time the Coquette sends contrary signals that stimulate contrary responses plunging the victim into confusion the eponymous heroine of marivot's 18th century French novel Marianne is the consummate Coquette going to church she dresses Tastefully but leaves her hair slightly uncombed in the middle of the service she seems to notice this error and starts to fix it revealing her bare arm as she does so such things were not to be seen in an 18th century church and all male eyes fix on her for that moment the tension is much more powerful than if she were outside or were tartally dressed remember obvious flirting will reveal your intentions too clearly better to be ambiguous and even contradictory frustrating at the same time that you stimulate the great spiritual leader jidu krishnamurthy was an unconscious Coquette revered by theosophists as their world teacher krishnamurthy was also a Dandy he loved elegant clothing and was devilishly handsome at the same time he practiced celibacy and had a horror of being touched in 1929 he shocked theosophists around the world by proclaiming that he was not a God or even a guru and did not want any followers this only heightened his appeal women fell in love with him in great numbers and his advisors grew even more devoted physically and psychologically krishnamurthy was sending contrary signals while preaching a generalized love and acceptance in his personal life he pushed people away his attractiveness and his obsession with his appearance might have gained him attention but by themselves would not have made women fall in love with him his lessons of celibacy and spiritual virtue would have created disciples but not physical love the combination of these traits however both Drew people in and frustrated them a coquettish Dynamic that created an emotional and physical attachment to a man who shunned such things his withdrawal from the world had the effect of only heightening the devotion of his followers cocotry depends on developing a pattern to keep the other person off balance the strategy is extremely effective experiencing a pleasure once we yearn to repeat it so the Coquette gives us pleasure then withdraws it the alternation of heat and cold is the most common pattern and has several variations the 8th Century Chinese Coquette yanguay FEI totally Enslaved the emperor Ming Huang through a pattern of kindness and bitterness having Charmed him with kindness she would suddenly get angry blaming him harshly for the slightest mistake unable to live without the pleasure she gave him the emperor would turn the court upside down to please her when she was angry or upset her tears had a similar effect what had he done why was she so sad he eventually ruined himself and his kingdom trying to keep her happy tears anger and the production of guilt are all the tools of the Coquette a similar Dynamic appears in a lover's quarrel when a couple fights then reconciles the joys of reconciliation only make the attachment stronger sadness of any sort is also seductive particularly if it seems deep-rooted even spiritual rather than needy or pathetic it makes people come to you coquettes are never jealous that would undermine their image of fundamental self-sufficiency but they are Masters at inciting jealousy by paying attention to a third party creating a triangle of Desire they signal to their victims that they may not be that interested this triangulation is extremely seductive in Social contexts as well as erotic ones interested in narcissistic women Freud was a narcissist himself and his aloofness drove his disciples crazy they even had a name for it his quote God complex behaving like a kind of Messiah too lofty for petty emotions Freud always maintained a distance between himself and his students hardly ever inviting them over for dinner say and keeping his private life shrouded in mystery yet he would occasionally choose an acolyte to confide in Carl Jung Otto rank Lou Andreas Salome the result was that his disciples went berserk trying to win his favor to be the one he chose their jealousy when he suddenly favored one of them only increased his power over them People's Natural insecurities are heightened in group settings by maintaining aloofness coquettes start a competition to win their favor if the ability to use third parties to make targets jealous is a critical seductive skill Sigmund Freud was a grand croquette all of the tactics of the Coquette have been adapted by political leaders to make the public fall in love while exciting the masses these leaders remain inwardly detached which keeps them in control the political scientist Roberto Michelles has even referred to such politicians as cold coquettes Napoleon played the Coquette with the French after the grand successes of the Italian campaign had made him a beloved hero he left France to conquer Egypt knowing that in his absence the government would fall apart the people would hunger for his return and their love would serve as the base for an expansion of his power after exciting the masses with a rousing speech Mao Zedong would disappear from sight for days on end making himself an object of cultish worship and no one was more of a Coquette than Yugoslav Leader Joseph Tito who alternated between distance from an emotional identification with his people all of these political leaders were confirmed narcissists in times of trouble when people feel insecure the effect of such political cocotry is even more powerful it is important to realize that kokatri is extremely effective on a group stimulating jealousy love and intense devotion if you play such a role with a group remember to keep an emotional and physical distance this will allow you to cry and laugh on command project self-sufficiency and with such Detachment you will be able to play people's emotions like a piano dangers coquettes face and obvious danger they play with volatile emotions every time the pendulum swings love shifts to hate so they must orchestrate everything carefully their absences cannot be too long their bouts of anger must be quickly followed by smiles coquettes can keep their victims emotionally entrapped for a long time but over months or years the dynamic can begin to prove tiresome Jiang Ching later known as Madam Mao used koketish skills to capture the heart of Mount seitung but after 10 years the quarreling the tears and the coolness became intensely irritating and once irritation proved stronger than love Mao was able to detach Josephine a more brilliant Coquette was able to adapt by spending a whole year without playing koi or withdrawing from Napoleon timing is everything on the other hand though the Coquette stirs up powerful emotions and breakups often prove temporary the Coquette is addictive after the failure of the social plan Mao called the Great Leap Forward Madame Mao was able to re-establish her power over her devastated husband the cold Coquette can stimulate a particularly deep hatred Valerie solanus was a young woman who fell under Andy warhol's spell she had written a play that amused him and she was given the impression he might turn it into a film she imagined becoming a celebrity she also got involved in the feminist movement and when in June 1968 it dawned on her that Warhol was toying with her she directed her growing rage at men on him and shot him three times nearly killing him cold coquettes May stimulate feelings that are not so much erotic as intellectual less passion and more fascination the hatred they can stir up is all the more Insidious and dangerous for it may not be counterbalanced by a deep love they must realize the limits of the game and the disturbing effects they can have on less stable people in conclusion here are some further Reflections on the Coquette a quotation from Amber De sanamon in the empress Josephine Napoleon's enchantress there are indeed men who are attached more by resistance than by yielding and who unwittingly prefer a variable Sky now Splendid now black and vexed by Lightnings to loves unclouded blue let us not forget that Josephine had to deal with a conqueror and that love resembles War she did not surrender she let herself be conquered had she been more tender more attentive more loving perhaps Bonaparte would have loved her less a quote by Pierre marivo coquettes know how to please not how to love which is why men love them so much a quotation by Marcel proust an absence the declining of an invitation to dinner an unintentional unconscious harshness are of more service than all the cosmetics and fine clothes in the world from the cold Coquette by Lord Byron there's also nightly to the uninitiated apparel not indeed like love or marriage but not the less for this to be depreciated it is I meant and mean not to disparage the show of virtue even in the vitiated it adds an outward Grace unto their Carriage but to denounce the amphibious sort of Harlot cooler De Rose who's neither white nor Scarlet such is your cold Coquette who can't say no and won't say Yes and keeps you on and offing Anna Lee Shore till it begins to blow then sees your heart wrecked with an inward scoffing this works a world of sentimental woe and sends new verters yearly to the coffin but yet is merely innocent flirtation not quite adultery but adulteration a letter to a pupil from Sigmund Freud there is a way to represent one's cause and in doing so to treat the audience in such a cool and condescending manner that they are bound to notice one is not doing it to please them the principle should always be not to make concessions to those who don't have anything to give but who have everything to gain from us we can wait until they are begging on their knees even if it takes a very long time from avid's Metamorphoses when her time was come that nymph most Fair brought forth a child with whom one could have fallen in love even in his cradle and she called him Narcissus child had reached his 16th year and could be counted as at once boy and man many Lads and many girls fell in love with him but this soft young body housed a pride so unyielding that none of those boys or girls dared to touch him one day as he was driving timid deer into his Nets he was seen by that talkative nymph who cannot stay silent when another speaks but yet has not learned to speak first herself her name is Echo and she always answers back so when she saw narcissus wandering through the lonely Countryside Echo fell in love with him and followed secretly in his steps the more closely she followed the nearer was the fire which scorched her just as sulfur smeared round the tops of torches is quickly kindled when a flame is brought near it how often she wished to make flattering overtures to him to approach him with tender please the boy by chance had wandered away from his faithful band of comrades and he called out is there anybody here Echo answered here narcissus Stood Still In astonishment looking around in every direction he looked behind him and when no one appeared cried again why are you avoiding me but all he heard were his own words echoed back still he persisted deceived by what he took to be another's voice and said come here and let us meet Echo answered let us meet never again would she reply more willingly to any sound to make good her words she came out of the wood and made to throw her arms round the neck she loved but he fled from her crying as he did so away with these Embraces I would die before I would have you touch me thus scorned she concealed herself in the woods hiding her shamed face in the shelter of the leaves and ever since that day she dwells in lonely caves yet still her love remained firmly rooted in her heart and was increased by the pain of having been rejected narcissus had played with her affections treating her as he had previously treated other spirits of the waters in the woods and his male admirers too then one of those he had scorned raised up his hands to heaven and prayed may he himself fall in love with another as we have done with him may he too be unable to gain his loved one Nemesis heard and granted his righteous prayer narcissus wearied with hunting In the Heat of the day lay down here by a clear pool for he was attracted by the beauty of the place and by the spring while he sought to quench his thirst another thirst grew in him and as he drank he was enchanted by the beautiful reflection that he saw he fell in love with an insubstantial hope mistaking a mere Shadow for a real body Spellbound by his own self he remained there motionless with fixed gaze like a statue carved from Perry and marble unwittingly he desired himself and was himself the object of his own approval at once seeking and sought himself kindling the flame with which he burned how often did he vainly kiss the treacherous pool how often plunge his arms deep in the waters as he tried to clasp the neck he saw but he could not lay hold upon himself he did not know what he was looking at but was fired by the sight and excited by the very illusion that deceived his eyes poor Foolish Boy vainly grasp at the fleeting image that eludes you the thing you are seeking does not exist only turn aside and you will lose what you love what you see is but the shadow cast by your reflection in itself it is nothing it comes with you and lasts while you are there it will go when you go if go you can he laid down his weary head on the Green Grass and death closed the eyes which so admired their owner's Beauty even then when he was received into the Abode of the dead he kept looking at himself in the waters of the sticks his sisters the nymphs of the spring mourn for him and cut off their hair in tribute to their brother the wood nymphs mourned him too an echo sang her refrain to their Lament the pyre the tossing torches and the beer were now being prepared but his body was nowhere to be found instead of his corpse they discovered a flower with a circle of white petals round a yellow Center a quotation from Nathaniel Hawthorne selfishness is one of the qualities apt to inspire love a quotation from al-sibilities quoted in Plato's symposium the Socrates whom you see has a tendency to fall in love with good-looking young men and as always in their society and in an ecstasy about them but once you see beneath the surface you will discover a degree of self-control of which you can hardly form a notion gentleman he spends his whole life pretending and playing with people and I doubt whether anyone has ever seen the treasures which are revealed when he grows serious and exposes what he keeps inside believing that he was serious in his admiration of my charms I supposed that a wonderful piece of good luck had befallen me I should now be able in return for my favors to find out all that Socrates knew for you must know that there was no limit to the pride that I felt in my good looks with this end in view I sent away my attendant whom hitherto I had always kept with me in my encounters with Socrates and left myself alone with him I must tell you the whole truth attend carefully and do you Socrates pull me up if anything I say is false I allowed myself to be alone with him I say gentlemen and I naturally suppose that he would embark on conversation of the type that a lover usually addresses to his darling when they are tetat and I was glad nothing of the kind he spent the day with me in the sort of talk which is Habitual with him and then left me and went away next I invited him to train with me in the gymnasium and I accompanied him there believing that I should succeed with him now he took exercise and wrestled with me frequently with no one else present but I need hardly say that I was no Nearer My goal finding that this was no good either I resolved to make a direct assault on him and not to give up what I had once undertaken I felt that I must get to the bottom of the matter so I invited him to dine with me behaving just like a lover who has designs upon his favorite he was in no hurry to accept this invitation but at last he agreed to come the first time he came he rose to go away immediately after dinner and on that occasion I was ashamed and let him go but I returned to the attack and this time I kept him in conversation after dinner far into the night and then when he wanted to be going I compelled him to stay on the plea that it was too late for him to go so he betook himself to rest using as a bed the couch on which he had reclined at dinner next to mine and there was nobody sleeping in the room but ourselves I swear by all the gods in heaven that for anything that had happened between us when I got up after sleeping with Socrates I might have been sleeping with my father or elder brother what do you supposed to have been my state of mind after that on the one hand I realized that I had been slighted but on the other I felt a reverence for Socrates character his self-control and courage the result was that I could neither bring myself to be angry with him and tear myself away from his Society nor find a way of subduing him to my will I was utterly disconcerted and wandered about in a state of enslavement to the man the like of which has never been known the charmer charm is seduction without sex Charmers are consummate manipulators masking their cleverness by creating a mood of pleasure and comfort their method is simple they deflect attention from themselves and focus it on their target they understand your spirit feel your pain adapt to your moods in the presence of a charmer you feel better about yourself Charmers don't argue or fight complain or pester what could be more seductive by drawing you in with their Indulgence they make you dependent on them and their power grows learn to cast the charmer's spell by aiming at people's primary weaknesses vanity and self-esteem the art of charm sexuality is extremely disruptive the insecurities and emotions it stirs up can often cut short a relationship that would otherwise be deeper and longer lasting the charmer's solution is to fulfill the aspects of sexuality that are so alluring and addictive the focused attention the boosted self-esteem the pleasurable wooing the understanding real or illusory but subtract the sex itself it's not that the charmer represses or discourages sexuality lurking beneath the surface of any attempted charm is a sexual tease a possibility charm cannot exist without a hint of sexual tension cannot be maintained however unless sex is kept at Bay or in the background the word charm comes from the Latin Carmen a song but also in an incantation tied to the casting of a magical spell the charmer implicitly grasps this history casting a spell by giving people something that holds their attention that fascinates them and the secret to capturing people's attention while lowering their powers of reason is to strike at the things they have the least control over their ego their vanity and their self-esteem as Benjamin Israeli said talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours the strategy can never be obvious subtlety is the charmer's great skill if the target is to be kept from seeing through the Charmers efforts and from growing suspicious maybe even tiring of the attention a light touch is essential the charmer is like a beam of light that doesn't play directly on a Target but throws a pleasantly diffused glow over it charm can be applied to a group as well as to an individual a leader can charm the public the dynamic is similar the following are the laws of charm called from the stories of the most successful Charmers in history make your target the center of attention Charmers Fade Into the background their targets become the subject of their interest to be a charmer you have to learn to listen and observe let your targets talk revealing themselves in the process as you find out more about them their strengths and more important their weaknesses you can individualize your attention appealing to their specific desires and needs tailoring your flatteries to their insecurities by adapting to their spirit and empathizing with their woes you can make them feel bigger and better validating their sense of self-worth make them the star of the show and they will become addicted to you and grow dependent on you on a mass level make gestures of self-sacrifice no matter how fake to show the public that you share their pain and are working in their Interest self-interest being the public form of egotism be a source of pleasure no one wants to hear about your problems and troubles listen to your targets complaints but more important distract them from their problems by giving them pleasure do this often enough and they will fall under your spell being light-hearted and fun is always more Charming than being serious and critical an energetic presence is likewise more Charming than lethargy which hints at boredom an enormous social taboo and elegance and style will usually win out over vulgarity since most people like to associate themselves with whatever they think elevated and cultured in politics provide illusion and myth rather than reality instead of asking people to sacrifice for the greater good talk of grand moral issues an appeal that makes people feel good will translate into votes and Power bring antagonism into harmony the court is a cauldron of resentment and envy where the sourness of a single brooding Cassius can quickly turn into a conspiracy the charmer knows how to smooth out conflict never stir up antagonisms that will prove immune to your charm in the face of those who are aggressive Retreat let them have their little victories yielding and Indulgence will charm the fight out of any potential enemies never criticize people overtly that will make them insecure and resistant to change plant ideas insinuate suggestions Charmed by your diplomatic skills people will not notice your Growing Power lull your victims into ease and comfort charm is like the hypnotist's trick with the swinging watch the more relaxed to the Target the easier it is to bend him or her to your will the key to making your victims feel comfortable is to mirror them adapt to their moods people are narcissists they are drawn to those most similar to themselves seem to share their values and tastes to understand their spirit and they will fall under your spell this works particularly well if you are an outsider showing that you share the values of your adopted group or country you have learned their language you prefer their Customs Etc is immensely Charming since for you this preference is a choice not a question of birth never pester or be overly persistent these uncharming qualities will disrupt the relaxation you need to cast your spell show calm and self-possession in the face of adversity adversity and setbacks actually provide the perfect setting for charm showing a calm unruffled exterior in the face of unpleasantness puts people at ease you seem patient as if waiting for Destiny to deal you a better card or as if you were confident you could charm the fates themselves never show anger ill-temper or vengefulness all disruptive emotions that will make people defensive in the politics of large groups welcome adversity is a chance to show the Charming qualities of magnanimity and Poise let others get flustered and upset contrast will redound to your favor never wine never complain never try to justify yourself make yourself useful if done subtly your ability to enhance the lives of others will be devilishly seductive your social skills will prove important here creating a wide network of allies will give you the power to link people up with each other which will make them feel that by knowing you they can make their lives easier this is something no one can resist follow through is key so many people will charm by promising a person great things a better job a new contract a big favor but if they don't follow through they make enemies instead of friends anyone can make a promise what sets you apart and makes you charming is your ability to come through in the end following up your promise with a definite action conversely if someone does you a favor show your gratitude concretely in a world of bluff and smoke real action and true helpfulness are perhaps the ultimate charm examples of Charmers number one in the early 1870s Queen Victoria of England had reached a low point in her life her beloved husband Prince Albert had died in 1861 leaving her more than grief stricken in all of her decisions she had relied on his advice she was too uneducated and inexperienced to do otherwise or so everyone made her feel in fact with Albert's death political discussions and policy issues had come to bore her to tears now Victoria gradually withdrew from the public eye as a result the monarchy became less popular and therefore less powerful in 1874 the conservative party came to power and its leader the 70 year old Benjamin Israeli became prime minister protocol of his accession to his seat demanded that he come to the palace for a private meeting with the queen who is 55 at the time two more unlikely Associates could not be imagined Disraeli who is Jewish by birth had dark skin and exotic features by English standards as a young man he had been a Dandy his dress bordering on the flamboyant and he had written popular novels that were romantic or even Gothic in style the queen on the other hand was dower and stubborn formal in Manner and simple in taste to please her Disraeli was advised he should curb his natural Elegance but he disregarded what everyone had told him and appeared before her as a gallant Prince falling to one knee taking her hand and kissing it saying I plight my truth to the kindest of mistresses the Israeli pledged that his work now was to realize Victoria's dreams he praised her qualities so fulsomely that she blushed yet strangely enough she did not find him comical or offensive but came out of the encounter smiling perhaps you should give this strange man a chance she thought and she waited to see what he would do next Victoria soon began receiving reports from Disraeli on parliamentary debates policy issues and so forth that were unlike anything other ministers had written addressing her as the fairy queen and giving the monarchies various enemies all kinds of villainous code names he filled his notes with gossip in a note about a new Cabinet member Disraeli wrote quote he is more than six feet four inches in stature like Saint Peter's at Rome no one is at first aware of his Dimensions but he has the sagacity of the elephant as well as its form unquote The Minister's Blythe informal Spirit bordered on disrespect but the queen was enchanted she read his reports voraciously and almost without her realizing it her interest in politics was rekindled at the start of their relationship disraelis sent the queen all of his novels as a gift she in return presented him with the one book she had written Journal of our life in the highlands from then on he would toss out in his letters and conversations with her the phrase We authors the queen would Beam with pride she would overhear him praising her to others her ideas common sense and feminine instincts he said made her the equal of Elizabeth the first he rarely disagreed with her at meetings with other ministers he would suddenly turn and ask her for advice in 1875 wind Israeli managed to finagle the purchase of the Suez Canal from the debt-ridden khadiv of Egypt he presented his accomplishment to the queen as if it were a realization of her own ideas about expanding the British Empire she did not realize the cause but her confidence was growing by Leaps and Bounds Victoria once sent flowers to her prime minister he later returned the favor sending primroses a flower so ordinary that some recipients might have been insulted but his gift came with a note of all the flowers the one that retains its beauty longest is sweet primrose Disraeli was enveloping Victoria in a fantasy atmosphere in which everything was a metaphor and the Simplicity of the flower of course symbolized the queen and also the relationship between the two leaders Victoria fell for the bait primroses were soon her favorite flower in fact everything Disraeli did now met with her approval she allowed him to sit in her presence and unheard of privilege the two began to exchange Valentines every February the queen would ask people what Disraeli had said at a party when he paid a little too much attention to Empress Augusta of Germany she grew jealous the courtiers wondered what had happened to the stubborn formal woman they had known she was acting like an infatuated girl in 1876 Disraeli steered through Parliament a bill declaring Queen Victoria a quote Queen Empress unquote the queen was beside herself with joy out of gratitude and certainly love she elevated this Jewish Dandy and novelist to the peerage making him Earl of Beaconsfield the realization of a lifelong dream Disraeli knew how deceptive appearances can be people were always judging him by his face and by his clothes and he had learned never to do the same to them so he was not deceived by Queen Victoria's dour sober exterior beneath it he sensed was a woman who yearned for a man to appealed to her feminine side a woman who was affectionate warm even sexual the extent to which this side of Victoria had been repressed merely revealed the strength of the feelings he would stir once he melted her Reserve disraeli's approach was to appeal to two aspects of Victorious personality that other people had squashed her confidence and her sexuality he was a master at flattering a person's ego as one English princess remarked quote when I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr Gladstone I thought he was the cleverest man in England but after sitting next to Mr Disraeli I thought I was the cleverest woman in England unquote the Israeli worked his magic with a delicate touch insinuating an atmosphere of amusement and relaxation particularly in relation to politics once the Queen's guard was down he made that mood a little warmer a little more suggestive subtly sexual though of course without overt flirtation Disraeli made Victoria feel desirable as a woman and gifted as a monarch how could she resist how could she deny him anything our personalities are often molded by how we are treated if a parent or spouse is defensive or argumentative in dealing with us we tend to respond the same way never mistake people's exterior characteristics for reality for the character they show on the surface may be merely a reflection of the people with whom they have been most in contact or affront disguising its own opposite a graph exterior May hide a person dying for warmth a repressed sober looking type may actually be struggling to conceal uncontrollable emotions that is the key to charm feeding what has been repressed or denied by indulging the Queen by making himself a source of pleasure Disraeli was able to soften a woman who had grown hard and cantankerous Indulgence is a powerful tool of Seduction it's hard to be angry or defensive with someone who seems to agree with your opinions and tastes Charmers may appear to be weaker than their targets but in the end they are the more powerful side because they have stolen the ability to resist two in 1971 the American financier and Democratic party Power Player Avril Harriman saw his life drawing to a close he was 79 his wife of many years Marie had just died and with the Democrats out of office his political career seemed over feeling old and depressed he resigned himself to spending his last years with his grandchildren in quiet retirement a few months after Marie's death Harriman was talked into attending a Washington party there he met an old friend Pamela Churchill whom he had known during World War II in London where he had been sent as a personal Envoy of President Franklin D Roosevelt she was 21 at the time and was the wife of Winston Churchill's son Randolph there had certainly been more beautiful women in the city but none had been more pleasant to be around she was so attentive listening to his problems befriending his daughter they were the same age and calming him whenever he saw her Marie had remained in the states and Randolph was in the Army so while bombs rained on London Avril and Pamela had begun an affair and in the many years since the war she had kept in touch with him he knew about the breakup of her marriage and about her endless series of affairs with Europe's wealthiest Playboys yet he had not seen her since his return to America and to his wife what a strange coincidence to run into her at this particular moment in his life at the party Pamela polled Harriman out of his shell laughing at his jokes and getting him to talk about London in the Glory Days of the war he felt his old Power returning it was as if he were Charming her a few days later she dropped in on him at one of his weekend homes Harriman was one of the wealthiest men in the world but was no lavish spender he and Marie had lived a Spartan life Pamela made no comment but when she invited him to her own home he couldn't help but notice the brightness and vibrancy of her life flowers everywhere beautiful linens on the bed wonderful meals she seemed to know all of his favorite foods he had heard of her reputation as a courtesan and understood the lure of his wealth yet being around her was invigorating and eight weeks after that party he married her Pamela did not stop there she persuaded her husband to donate the art that Marie had collected to the National Gallery she got him to part with some of his money a trust fund for her son Winston new houses constant redecorations her approach was subtle and patient she made him somehow feel good about giving her what she wanted within a few years hardly any traces of Marie remained in their life Harriman spent less time with his children and grandchildren he seemed to be going through a second youth in Washington politicians and their wives viewed Pamela with suspicion they saw through her and were immune to her charm or so they thought yet they always came to the frequent parties she hosted justifying themselves with the thought that powerful people would be there everything at these parties was calibrated to create a relaxed intimate atmosphere no one felt ignored the least important people would find themselves talking to Pamela opening up to that attentive look of hers she made them feel powerful and respected afterward she would send them a personal note or gift often referring to something they had mentioned in conversation the wives who had called her a courtesan and worse slowly changed their minds the men found her not only beguiling but useful her worldwide contacts were invaluable she could put them in touch with exactly the right person without them even having to ask the harriman's parties soon evolved into fundraising events for the Democratic Party put at their ease feeling elevated by the aristocratic atmosphere Pamela created and the sense of importance she gave them visitors would empty their wallets without realizing quite why this of course was exactly what all the men in her life had done in 1986 Avril Harriman died by then Pamela was powerful and Wealthy enough that she no longer needed a man in 1993 she was named the U.S ambassador to France and easily transferred her personal and social charm into the world of political diplomacy she was still working when she died in 1997. we often recognize Charmers as such we sense their cleverness surely Harriman must have realized that his meeting with Pamela Churchill in 1971 was no coincidence nevertheless we fall under their spell the reason is simple the feeling that Charmers provide is so rare as to be worth the price we pay the world is full of self-absorbed people in their presence we know that everything in our relationship with them is directed toward themselves their insecurities their neediness their hunger for attention that reinforces our own egocentric Tendencies we protectively close ourselves up it's a syndrome that only makes us the more helpless with Charmers first they don't talk much about themselves which heightens their mystery and disguises their limitations second they seem to be interested in us and their interests is so delightfully focused that we relax and open up to them finally Charmers are Pleasant to be around they have none of most people's ugly qualities nagging complaining self-assertion they seem to know what pleases theirs is a diffused warmth Union without sex you may think a geisha is sexual as well as Charming her power however lies not in the sexual favors she provides but in her rare self-effacing attentiveness inevitably we become addicted and dependent and dependence is the source of the charmer's power people who are physically beautiful and who play on their beauty to create a sexually charged presence have little power in the end the bloom of Youth Fades there is always someone younger and more beautiful and in any case people Tire of beauty without social Grace but they never Tire of feeling their self-worth validate learn the power you can wield by making the other person feel like the star the key is to defuse your sexual presence create a vager more beguiling sense of excitement through a generalized flirtation a socialized sexuality that is constant addictive and never totally satisfied three in December of 1936 Chiang Kai-shek leader of the Chinese nationalists was captured by a group of his own soldiers who were angry with his policies instead of fighting the Japanese who had just invaded China he was continuing his civil war against the Communist armies of Mao Zedong the soldiers saw no threat in Mao Chiang had almost annihilated the Communists in fact they believed he should join forces with MAO against the common enemy it was the only patriotic thing to do the soldiers thought by capturing him they could compel Chiang to change his mind but he was a stubborn man since John was the main impediment to a unified war against the Japanese the soldiers contemplated having him executed or turned over to the Communists as Jiang lay in prison he could only imagine the worst several days later he received a visit from Zhou and Lai a former friend and now a leading communist politely and respectfully Zhou argued for a united front Communists and nationalists against the Japanese Chiang could not begin to hear such talk he hated the Communists with a passion and became hopelessly emotional to sign an agreement with the Communists in these circumstances he yelled would be humiliating and would lose me all honor among my own Army it's out of the question kill me if you must Joe listened smiled said barely a word as xiang's rant ended he told the Nationalist General that a concern for Honor was something he understood but that The Honorable thing for them to do was actually to forget their differences and fight the invader Jiang could lead both armies finally Zhou said that under no circumstances would he allow his fellow Communists or anyone for that matter to execute such a great man as shiankaishek the Nationalist leader was stunned and moved the next day Xiang was escorted out of prison by communist guards transferred to one of his own Army's planes and sent back to his own headquarters apparently Joe had executed this policy on his own for when word of it reached the other communist leaders they were outraged Joe should have forced Chiang to fight the Japanese or else should have ordered his execution to release him without concessions was the height of pusillanimity and Joe would pay Joe said nothing and waited a few months later Chiang signed an agreement to Halt the Civil War and joined with the Communists against the Japanese he seemed to have come to his decision on his own and his army respected it they couldn't doubt his motives working together the nationalists and the Communists expelled the Japanese from China but the Communists whom Jiang had previously almost destroyed took advantage of this period of collaboration to regain strength once the Japanese had left they turned on the nationalists who in 1949 were forced to evacuate mainland China for the island of Formosa now Taiwan now Mao paid a visit to the Soviet Union China was in terrible shape and in desperate need of assistance but Stalin was wary of the Chinese and lectured Mao about the many mistakes he had made Mao argued back Stalin decided to teach the young upstart a lesson he would give China nothing tempers Rose Mao sent urgently for Joe and Lai who arrived the next day and went right to work in the long negotiating sessions Joe made a show of enjoying his hosts vodka he never argued and in fact agreed that the Chinese had made many mistakes had much to learn from the more experienced Soviets comrade Stalin he said we are the first large Asian country to join the Socialist Camp under your guidance Joe had come prepared with all kinds of neatly drawn diagrams and charts knowing the Russians loved such things Stalin warmed up to him the negotiations proceeded and a few days after Joe's arrival the two parties signed a treaty of mutual Aid a treaty far more useful to the Chinese than to the Soviets in 1959 China was again in deep trouble Mao's Great Leap Forward and attempt to spark an overnight Industrial Revolution in China had been a devastating failure the people were angry they were starving while Beijing bureaucrats lived well many Beijing officials Joe among them returned to their native towns to try to bring order most of them managed by bribes by promising all kinds of favors but Joe proceeded differently he visited his ancestral graveyard where generations of his family were buried and ordered that the Tombstones be removed and the coffins buried deeper now the land could be farmed for food in confusion terms and Joe was an obedient confusion this was sacrilege but everyone knew what it meant Joe was willing to suffer personally everyone had to sacrifice even the leaders his gesture had immense symbolic impact when Joe died in 1976 an unofficial and unorganized outpouring of public grief caught the government by surprise they could not understand how a man who had worked behind the scenes and had shunned the Adoration of the masses could have won such affection the capture of Chiang Kai-shek was a turning point in the Civil War to execute him might have been disastrous it had binge young who had held the Nationalist Army together and without him it could have broken up into factions allowing the Japanese to overrun the country to force him to sign an agreement wouldn't have helped either he would have lost faith before his army would never have honored the agreement and would have done everything he could to avenge his humiliation Joe knew that to execute or compile a captive will only embolden your enemy and will have repercussions you cannot control charm on the other hand is a manipulative weapon that disguises its own manipulativeness letting you gain a victory without stirring the desire for Revenge Joe worked on Chiang perfectly paying him respect playing the inferior letting him pass from the fear of execution to the relief of unexpected release the general was allowed to leave with his dignity intact Joe knew all this would soften him up planting the seed of the idea that perhaps the Communists were not so bad after all and that he could change his mind about them without looking weak particularly if he did so independently rather than while he was in prison Joe applied the same philosophy to every situation play the inferior unthreatening and humble what will this matter if in the end you get what you want time to recover from a civil war a treaty The Good Will of the masses time is the greatest weapon you have patiently keep in mind a long-term goal and neither person nor Army can resist you and charm is the best way of playing for time of widening your options in any situation through charm you can seduce your enemy into backing off giving you the psychological space to plot an effective counter strategy key is to make other people emotional while you remained attached they may feel grateful happy moved arrogant it doesn't matter as long as they feel an emotional person is a distracted person give them what they want appeal to their self-interest make them feel Superior to you when a baby has grabbed a sharp knife do not try to grab it back instead stay calm offer candy and the baby will drop the knife to pick up the tempting morsel you offer 4. in 1761 Empress Elizabeth of Russia died and her nephew ascended to the throne as Tsar Peter III Peter had always been a little boy at heart he played with Toy Soldiers long past the appropriate age and now as Tsar he could finally do whatever he pleased and the world be damned Peter concluded a treaty with Frederick the great that was highly favorable to the foreign ruler Peter adored Frederick and particularly the disciplined way his Prussian soldiers marched this was a practical debacle but in matters of emotion and etiquette Peter was even more offensive he refused to properly mourn his aunt the empress resuming his war games and parties a few days after the funeral what a contrast he was to his wife Catherine she was respectful during the funeral was still wearing black months later and could be seen at all hours beside Elizabeth's tomb praying and crying she wasn't even Russian but a German princess who had come east to marry Peter in 1745 without speaking a word of the language even the lowest peasant knew that Catherine had converted to the Russian Orthodox church and had learned to speak Russian with Incredible speed and beautifully at heart they thought she was more Russian than all of those fops in the court during these difficult months while Peter offended almost everyone in the country Catherine discreetly kept a lover grigory orlov a lieutenant in the guards it was through or love that word spread of her piety her patriotism her worthiness for rule how much better to follow such a woman than to serve Peter late into the night Catherine and her love would talk and he would tell her the Army was behind her and would urge her to Stage a coup she would listen attentively but would always reply that this was not the time for such things where law of wondered to himself perhaps she was too gentle and passive for such a great step Peter's regime was repressive and the arrests and executions piled up he also grew more abusive toward his wife threatening to divorce her and marry his mistress one drunken evening driven to distraction by Catherine's silence and his inability to provoke her he ordered her arrest the news spread fast and orloff hurried to warn Catherine that she would be imprisoned or executed unless she acted fast this time Catherine didn't argue she put on her simplest morning gown left her hair half undone followed or Loft to a waiting carriage and rushed to the army barracks here the soldiers fell to the ground kissing the Hem of her dress they had heard so much about her but had never seen her in person and she seemed to them like a statue of the Madonna come to life they gave her an army uniform marveling at how beautiful she looked in men's clothes and set off under Olaf's command for The Winter Palace the procession grew as it passed through the streets of Saint Petersburg everyone applauded Catherine everyone felt that Peter should be dethroned soon priests arrived to give Catherine their blessing making the people even more excited and through it all she was silent and dignified as if all were in the hands of fate when news reached Peter of this peaceful Rebellion he grew hysterical and agreed to abdicate that very night Catherine became Empress without a single battle or even a single gunshot as a child Catherine was intelligent and spirited since her mother had wanted a daughter who was obedient rather than dazzling and who would therefore make a better match the child was subjected to a constant barrage of criticism against which she developed a defense she learned to seem to defer to other people totally as a way to neutralize their aggression if she was patient and did not force the issue instead of attacking her they would fall under her spell when Catherine came to Russia at the age of 16 without a friend or Ally in the country she applied the skills she'd learned in dealing with her difficult mother in the face of all the court Monsters the imposing Empress Elizabeth her own infantile husband the endless schemers and betrayers she curtsied deferred weighted and Charmed she had long wanted to rule as empress and knew how hopeless her husband was but what good would it do to seize power violently laying a claim that some would certainly see as illegitimate and then have to worry endlessly that she would be dethroned in turn no the moment had to be ripe and she had to make the people carry her into power it was a feminine style of Revolution by being passive and patient Catherine suggested that she had no interest in power the effect was soothing Charming there will always be difficult people for us to face the chronically insecure the hopelessly stubborn the hysterical complainers your ability to disarm these people will prove an invaluable skill you do have to be careful though if you're passive they will run all over you if assertive you will make their monstrous qualities worse seduction and charm are the most effective counter weapons outwardly be gracious adapt to their every mood enter their spirit inwardly calculate and wait Your Surrender is a strategy not a way of life when the time comes and it inevitably will the tables will turn their aggression will land them in trouble and that will put you in a position to rescue them regaining superiority you could also decide that you had had enough and consign them to Oblivion your charm has prevented them from foreseeing this or growing suspicious a whole Revolution can be enacted without a single act of violence simply by waiting for the Apple to ripen and fall dangers there are those who are immune to a charmer particularly cynics and confident types who don't need validation these people tend to view Charmers as slippery and deceitful and they can make problems for you the solution is to do what most Charmers do by Nature befriend and charm as many people as possible secure your power through numbers and you won't have to worry about the few you cannot seduce Catherine the Great's kindness to everyone she met created a vast amount of Goodwill that paid off later also it is sometimes Charming to reveal a strategic flaw there is one person you dislike confess it openly don't try to charm such an enemy and people will think you more human less slippery Disraeli had such a scapegoat with his great Nemesis William Gladstone the dangers of political charm are harder to handle your conciliatory shifting flexible approach to politics Will Make enemies out of everyone who is a rigid believer in a Cause social seducers such as Bill Clinton and Henry Kissinger could often win over the most hardened opponent with their personal charm but they could not be everywhere at once many members of the English Parliament thought Disraeli a Shifty conniver in person his engaging manner could dispel such feelings but he could not address the entire Parliament one-on-one in difficult times when people yearn for something substantial and firm the political charmer may be in danger as Catherine the Great proved timing is everything Charmers must know when to hibernate and when the times are ripe for their persuasive powers known for their flexibility they should sometimes be flexible enough to act inflexibly Joe and lye the consummate chameleon could play the hardcore communist when it suited him never become the slave to your own powers of charm keep it under control something you can turn off and on at will in conclusion here are some further Reflections on the charmer quote from Samuel Butler birds are taken with pipes that imitate their own voices and men with those sayings that are most agreeable to their own opinions from ovids the art of love go with the bow you'll bend it use brute force it'll snap go with the current that's how to swim across Rivers fighting up streams no good go easy with lions or Tigers if you aim to tame them the bull gets inured to the plow by slow degrees so yield if she shows resistance that way you'll win in the end just be sure to play the part she allots you censure the things she censures endorse her endorsements Echo her every word Pro or con and laugh whenever she laughs remember if she weeps to weep too take your cue from her every expression suppose she's playing a board game then throw the dice carelessly move your pieces all wrong don't jib at a slavish task like holding her mirror slavish or not such attentions please a quote from Disraeli by Andre Maroa Disraeli was asked to dinner and came in green velvet trousers with a canary waistcoat buckle shoes and Lace cuffs his appearance at first proved disquieting but on leaving the table the guests remarked to each other that the wittiest talker at the luncheon party was the Man in the Yellow waistcoat Benjamin had made great advances in Social conversation since the days of Murray's dinners faithful to his method he noticed the stages do not talk too much at present do not try to talk but whenever you speak speak with self-possession speak in a subdued tone and always look at the person whom you are addressing before one can engage in general conversation with any effect there is a certain acquaintance with trifling but amusing subjects which must be first attained you will soon pick up sufficient by listening and observing never argue in society nothing must be discussed give only results if any person differed from you bow and turn the conversation in society never think always be on the watch or you will miss many opportunities and say many disagreeable things talk to women talk to women as much as you can this is the best school this is the way to gain fluency because you need not care what you say and had better not be sensible they too will rally you on many points and as they are women you will not be offended nothing is of so much importance and of so much use to a young man entering life as to be well criticized by women a quote by Albert Camus you know what charm is a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question a quote from Gabrielle Tardes lopinio de la full that carries its audience along with it and is applauded is often less suggestive simply because it is clear that it sets out to be persuasive people talking together influence each other in close proximity by means of the tone of voice they adopt and the way they look at each other and not only by the kind of language they use we are right to call a good conversationalist a charmer in the magical sense of the word a quote from Arthur schopenhauer's councils and maxims wax a substance naturally hard and brittle can be made soft by the application of a little warmth so that it will take any shape you please in the same way by being polite and friendly you can make people pliable and obliging even though they are apt to be crabbed and malevolent hence politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax a quote by Benjamin Israeli never explain never complain charismatic Charisma is a presence that excites us comes from an inner quality self-confidence Sexual Energy sense of purpose contentment that most people lack and want this quality radiates outward permeating the gestures of charismatics making them seem extraordinary and Superior and making us imagine there is more to them that means the eye they are Gods Saints Stars charismatics can learn to heighten their Charisma with a piercing gaze fiery oratory an air of mystery they can seduce on a grand scale learn to create the charismatic Illusion by radiating intensity while remaining detached Charisma and seduction Charisma is Seduction on a mass level charismatics make crowds of people fall in love with them then lead them along the process of making them fall in love is simple and follows a path similar to that of a one-on-one seduction charismatics have certain qualities that are powerfully attractive and that make them stand out this could be their self-belief their boldness their serenity they keep the source of these qualities mysterious they don't explain where their confidence or contentment comes from but it can be felt by everyone it radiates outward without the appearance of conscious effort the face of the charismatic is usually animated full of energy desire alertness the look of a lover one that is instantly appealing even vaguely sexual we happily follow charismatics because we like to be led particularly by people who promise Adventure or prosperity we lose ourselves in their cause become emotionally attached to them feel more Alive by believing in them we fall in love Charisma plays on repressed sexuality creates an erotic charge yet the origins of the word lie not in sexuality but in religion and religion remains deeply embedded in modern charisma thousands of years ago people believed in Gods and spirits but few could ever say that they had witnessed a miracle a physical demonstration of divine power a man however who seemed possessed by a Divine Spirit speaking in tongues ecstatic raptures the expression of intense Visions would stand out as one whom the gods had singled out and this man a priest or a prophet gained great power over others what made the Hebrews believe in Moses follow him out of Egypt and remain loyal to him despite their endless wandering in the desert the look in his eye his inspired and inspiring words the face that literally glowed when he came down from Mount Sinai all these things gave him the appearance of having direct communication with God and were the source of his authority and these were what was meant by Charisma a Greek word referring to prophets and to Christ himself in early Christianity Charisma was a gift or Talent vouch saved by God's grace and revealing his presence most of the great religions were founded by a charismatic a person who physically displayed the signs of God's favor over the years the world became more rational eventually people came to hold power not by Divine Right but because they won votes or proved their competence the great early 20th century German sociologist Max Weber however noticed that despite our supposed progress there were more charismatics than ever what characterized a modern charismatic according to Weber was the appearance of an extraordinary quality in their character the equivalent of a sign of God's favor how else to explain the power of a robust Pierre or a Lenin more than anything it was the force of their magnetic personalities that made these men stand out and was the source of their power they did not speak of God but of a great cause visions of future Society their appeal was emotional they seemed possessed and their audiences reacted as euphorically as earlier audiences had to a prophet when Lenin died in 1924 a cult formed around his memory transforming the communist leader into a deity today anyone who has presence who attracts attention when he or she enters a room is said to possess charisma but even these less exalted types reveal a trace of the quality suggested by the words original meaning their Charisma is mysterious and inexplicable never obvious they have an unusual confidence they have a gift often a smoothness with language and that makes them stand out from the crowd they express a vision we may not realize it but in their presence we have a kind of religious experience we believe in these people without having any rational evidence for doing so when trying to concoct an effect of Charisma never forget the religious source of its power you must radiate an inward quality that has a saintly or spiritual Edge to it your eyes must glow with a fire of a prophet your charisma must seem natural as if it came from something mysteriously beyond your control a gift of the Gods in our rational disenchanted world people crave a religious experience particularly on a group level any sign of Charisma plays to this desire to believe in something there is nothing more seductive than giving people Something to Believe In and follow Charisma must seem mystical but that doesn't mean you cannot learn certain tricks that will enhance the Charisma you already possess or will give you the outward appearance of it the following are basic qualities that will help create the illusion of charisma purpose if people believe you have a plan that you know where you're going they will follow you instinctively the direction doesn't matter pick a cause an ideal a vision and show that you will not sway from your goal people will imagine that your confidence comes from something real just as the ancient Hebrews believed Moses was in communion with God simply because he showed the outward signs purposefulness is doubly charismatic in times of trouble since most people hesitate before taking bold action even when action is what is required single-minded self-assurance will make you the focus of attention people will believe in you through the simple force of your character when Franklin Delano Roosevelt came to power amidst the depression much of the public had little faith he could turn things around but in his first few months in office he displayed such confidence such decisiveness and Clarity in dealing with the country's many problems that the public began to see him as their savior someone with intense charisma mystery mystery lies at charisma's heart but it is a particular kind of mystery a mystery expressed by contradiction the charismatic may be both proletarian and aristocratic Mao Zedong both cruel and kind Peter the Great both excitable and isily detached Charles de Gaulle both intimate and distant Sigmund Freud since most people are predictable the effect of these contradictions is devastatingly charismatic they make you hard to Fathom add richness to your character make people talk about you it's often better to reveal your contradictions slowly and subtly if you throw them out one on top of the other people may think you have an erratic personality show your mysteriousness gradually and word will spread you must also keep people at arm's length to keep them from figuring you out another aspect of mystery is a hint of the uncanny the appearance of prophetic or psychic gifts will add to your aura predict things authoritatively and people will often imagine that what you have said has come true saintliness most of us must compromise constantly to survive Saints do not they must live out their ideals without caring about the consequences the saintly effect bestows charisma saintliness goes far beyond religion politicians as disparate as George Washington and Lenin won saintly reputations by living simply despite their power by matching their political values to their personal lives both men were virtually deified after they died Albert Einstein too had a saintly Aura childlike unwilling to compromise lost in his own world the key is that you must already have some deeply held values that part cannot be faked at least not without risking accusations of charlatanry that will destroy your charisma in the long run the next step is to show as simply and subtly as possible that you live what you believe finally the appearance of being mild and unassuming can eventually turn into Charisma as long as you seem completely comfortable with it the source of Harry Truman's Charisma and even of Abraham Lincoln's was to appear to be in Everyman eloquence a charismatic relies on The Power of Words the reason is simple words are the quickest way to create emotional disturbance they can uplift Elevate stir anger without referring to anything real during the Spanish Civil War Dolores Gomez ibaruri known as La pacionaria gave pro-communist speeches that were so emotionally powerful as to determine several key moments in the war to bring off this kind of eloquence it helps if the speaker is as emotional as caught up in words as the audiences yet eloquence can be learned the devices La pacionaria used catch words slogans rhythmic repetitions phrases for the audience to repeat can easily be acquired Roosevelt a calm Patrician type was able to make himself a dynamic speaker both through his style of delivery which was slow and hypnotic and through His Brilliant use of imagery alliteration and biblical rhetoric the crowds at his rallies were often moved to tears the slow authoritative style is often more effective than passion in the long run for its more subtly spellbinding and less tiring theatricality a charismatic is larger than life has extra presence actors have studied this kind of presence for centuries they know how to stand on a crowded stage and command attention surprisingly it's not the actor who screams the loudest or gestures the most wildly who works this magic best but the actor who stays calm radiating self-assurance the effect is ruined by trying too hard it is essential to be self-aware to have the ability to see yourself as others see you de Gaulle understood that self-awareness was key to his Charisma in the most turbulent circumstances the Nazi occupation of France the national reconstruction after World War II an army rebellion in Algeria he retained an Olympian composure that played beautifully against the hysteria of his colleagues when he spoke no one could take their eyes off him once you know how to command attention this way heighten the effect by appearing in ceremonial and ritual events that are full of exciting imagery making you look Regal and Godlike flamboyancy has nothing to do with Charisma it attracts the wrong kind of attention uninhibitedness most people are repressed and have little access to their unconscious a problem that creates opportunities for the charismatic who can become a kind of screen on which others project their secret fantasies and longings you will first have to show that you are less inhibited than your audience that you radiate a dangerous sexuality have no fear of death are delightfully spontaneous even a hint of these qualities will make people think you are more powerful than you are in the 1850s a Bohemian American actress Ada Isaacs Menken took the World by storm through her unbridled Sexual Energy and her fearlessness she would appear on stage half naked performing death-defying acts few women could dare such things in the Victorian period and a rather mediocre actress became a figure of cult-like adoration an extension of your being uninhibited is a dreamlike quality in your work and character that reveals your openness to your unconscious it was the possession of this quality that transformed artists like Wagner and Picasso into charismatic idols its cousin is a fluidity of body and spirit while the repressed a rigid charismatics have an ease and an adaptability that show their openness to experience fervency you need to believe in something and to believe in it strongly enough for it to animate all your gestures and make your eyes light up this cannot be faked politicians inevitably lie to the public what distinguishes charismatics is that they believe their own lies which makes them that much more believable a prerequisite for fiery belief is some great cause to Rally around a crusade become the rallying point for people's discontent and show that you share none of the doubts that plague normal humans in 1490 the Florentine girolamo savonarola railed at the immorality of the Pope and the Catholic Church claiming to be divinely inspired he became so animated during his sermons that hysteria would sweep the crowd savonarola developed such a following that he briefly took over the city until the pope had him captured and burned at the stake people believed in him because of the depth of his conviction his example has more relevance today than ever people are more and more isolated and long for communal experience let your own fervent and contagious faith in virtually anything give them Something to Believe In vulnerability charismatics display a need for love and affection they are open to Their audience and in fact feed off its energy the audience in turn is electrified by the charismatic the current increasing as it passes back and forth this vulnerable side to Charisma softens the self-confidence side which can seem fanatical and frightening since Charisma involves feelings akin to love you in turn must reveal your love for your followers this was a key component to the Charisma that Marilyn Monroe radiated on camera I knew I belonged to the public she wrote in her diary and to the world not because I was talented or even beautiful but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else the public was the only family the only Prince Charming and the only home I had ever dreamed of in front of a camera Monroe suddenly came to life flirting with an exciting her unseen public if the audience doesn't sense this quality in you they will turn away from you on the other hand you must never seem manipulative or needy imagine you are public as a single person whom you are trying to seduce nothing is more seductive to people than the feeling that they are desired adventurousness charismatics are unconventional they have an air of Adventure and risk that attracts the board be Brazen and courageous in your actions be seen taking risks for the good of others Napoleon made sure his soldiers saw him at the cannons in battle Lenin walked openly on the streets despite the death threats he had received charismatics thrive in Troubled Waters a crisis situation allows them to flaunt their daring which enhances their aura John F Kennedy came to life in dealing with the Cuban Missile Crisis Charles de Gaulle when he confronted rebellion in Algeria they needed these problems to seem charismatic and in fact some have even accused them of stirring up situations Kennedy through his brinkmanship style of diplomacy for instance that played to their love of Adventure show heroism to give yourself a Charisma that will last you a lifetime conversely the slightest sign of cowardice or timidity will ruin whatever Charisma you had magnetism if any physical attribute is crucial in seduction it is the eyes they reveal excitement tension Detachment without a word being spoken indirect communication is critical in seduction and also in charisma the demeanor of charismatics may be poised and calm but their eyes are magnetic they have a piercing gaze that disturbs their Target's emotions exerting Force without words or action Fidel Castro's aggressive gaze can reduce his opponents to silence when Benito Mussolini was challenged he would roll his eyes showing the whites in a way that frightened people president kuzna sorcero sukarno of Indonesia had a gaze that seemed as if it could have read thoughts Roosevelt could dilate his pupils at will making his stare both hypnotizing and intimidating the eyes of the charismatic never show fear or nerves all of these skills are acquirable Napoleon spent hours in front of a mirror modeling his Gaze on that of the great contemporary actor Talma the key is self-control the look doesn't necessarily have to be aggressive it can also show contentment remember your eyes can emanate Charisma but they can also give you away as a faker do not leave such an important attribute to chance practice the effect you desire charismatic types historical examples the miraculous prophet in the year 1425 Joan of Arc a peasant girl from the French Village of Don Rami had her first vision I was in my 13th year when God sent a voice to guide me the voice was that of Saint Michael and he came with a message from God Joan had been chosen to rid France of the English Invaders who now ruled most of the country and of the resulting chaos and War she was also to restore the French Crown to the prince the dofa later Charles VII who was its rightful heir Saint Catherine and Saint Margaret also spoke to Joan her Visions were extraordinarily Vivid she saw Saint Michael touched him smelled him at first Joan told no one what she had seen for all anyone knew she was a quiet farm girl but the Visions became even more intense and so in 1429 she left omrami determined to realize the mission for which God had chosen her her goal was to meet Charles in the town of Shino where he had established his court in Exile the obstacles were enormous Shino was far the journey was dangerous and Charles even if she reached him was a lazy and cowardly young man who was unlikely to Crusade against the English undaunted she moved from Village to Village explaining her mission to soldiers and asking them to escort her to Shino young girls with religious Visions were a dime a dozen at the time and there was nothing in Joan's appearance to inspire confidence one soldier however Jean demes was intrigued with her what fascinated him was the detail of her visions she would Liberate the besieged town of orleon have the king crowned at the Cathedral in ranks lead the Army to Paris she knew how she would be wounded and where the words she attributed to Saint Michael were quite unlike the language of a farm girl and she was so calmly confident she glowed with conviction the mess fell under her spell he swore Allegiance and set out with her for Shino soon others offered assistance to and word reached Charles of the strange young girl on her way to meet him on the 350 Mile Road to Shino accompanied only by a handful of soldiers through a land infested with warring bands Joan showed neither fear nor hesitation the journey took several months when she finally arrived the dofa decided to meet the girl who had promised to restore him to his throne despite the advice of his counselors but he was bored and wanted amusement and decided to play a trick on her she was to meet him in a hall packed with courtiers to test her prophetic Powers he disguised himself as one of these men and dressed another man as the prince yet when Joan arrived to the amazement of the crowd she walked straight up to Charles and curtsied and said the king of Heaven sends me to you with the message that you shall be the lieutenant of the king of Heaven who is the king of France in the talk that followed Jones seemed to Echo Charles's most private thoughts while once again recounting an extraordinary detail of the Feats she would accomplish days later this indecisive flighty man declared himself convinced and gave her his Blessing to lead a French Army against the English Miracles and saintliness aside Joan of Arc had certain basic qualities that made her exceptional her Visions were intense she could describe them in such detail that they had to be real details have that effect they lend a sense of reality to even the most Preposterous statements furthermore in a time of great disorder she was supremely focused as if her strength came from somewhere unworldly she spoke with authority and she predicted things people wanted the English would be defeated Prosperity would return she also had a peasant's Earthly Common Sense she had surely heard descriptions of Charles on the road to Shino once at court she could have sensed the trick he was playing on her and could have confidently picked out his pampered face in the crowd the following year her Visions abandoned her and her confidence as well she made many mistakes leading to her capture by the English she was indeed human we may no longer believe in miracles but anything that hints at strange unworldly even Supernatural Powers will create charisma the psychology is the same you have visions of the future and of the wondrous things you can accomplish describe these things in great detail with an air of authority and suddenly you stand out and if your prophecy of prosperity say is just what people want to hear they are likely to fall under your spell and to see later events as a confirmation of your predictions exhibit remarkable confidence and people will think your confidence comes from real knowledge you will create a self-fulfilling prophecy people's belief in you will translate into actions that help realize your visions any hint of success will make them see Miracles uncanny Powers the glow of charisma the authentic animal one day in 1905 the Saint Petersburg Salon of counter signatiev was unusually full politicians Society ladies and courtiers had all arrived early to await the remarkable guest of honor Grigori efimovic Rasputin a 40 year old Siberian monk who had made a name for himself throughout Russia as a Healer perhaps a saint when Rasputin arrived few could disguise their disappointment his face was ugly his hair was stringy he was gangly and awkward they wondered why they had come but then Rasputin approached them one by one wrapping his big hands around their fingers and gazing deep into their eyes at first his gaze was unsettling as he looked them up and down he seemed to be probing and judging them yet suddenly his expression would change and kindness joy and understanding would radiate from his face several of the ladies he actually hugged in a most effusive manner this startling contrast had profound effects the mood in the salon soon changed from disappointment to excitement Rasputin's voice was so calm and deep his language was coarse yet the ideas it expressed were delightfully simple and had the Ring of great spiritual truth then just as the guests were beginning to relax with this dirty looking peasant his mood suddenly changed to anger he said I know you I can read your souls you are all too pampered These Fine clothes and arts of yours are useless and pernicious men must learn to Humble themselves you must be simpler far far simpler only then will God come nearer to you the Monk's face grew animated his pupils expanded he looked completely different how impressive that angry look was recalling Jesus throwing the money lenders from the temple now Rasputin calmed down returned to being gracious but the guests already saw him as someone strange and remarkable next in a performance he would soon repeat in salons throughout the city he led the guests in a folk song and as they sang he began to dance a strange uninhibited dance of his own design and as he danced he circled the most attractive women there and with his eyes invited them to join him The Dance turned vaguely sexual as his Partners fell under his spell he whispered suggestive comments in their ears yet none of them seemed to be offended over the next few months women from every level of Saint Petersburg Society visited Rasputin in his apartment he would talk to them of spiritual matters but then without warning he would turn sexual murmuring the crassist commons he would justify himself through spiritual Dogma how can you repent if you have not sinned salvation only comes to those who go astray one of the few who rejected his advances was asked by a friend how can one refuse anything to a saint does a saint need sinful love she replied her friend said he makes everything that comes near him holy I have already belonged to him and I am proud and happy to have done so but you are married what does your husband say he considers it a very great honor if Rasputin desires a woman we all think it a blessing and a distinction our husbands as well as ourselves Rasputin's spell soon extended over Tsar Nicholas and more particularly over his wife the Sarina Alexandra after he apparently healed their son from a life-threatening injury within a few years he had become the most powerful man in Russia with total sway over the royal couple people are more complicated than the masks they wear in society the man who seems so Noble and gentle is probably disguising a dark side which will often come out in strange ways if his nobility and refinement are in fact a put on sooner or later the truth will come out and his hypocrisy will disappoint and alienate on the other hand we are drawn to people who seem more comfortably human who don't bother to disguise their contradictions this was the source of Rasputin's charisma a man so authentically himself so devoid of self-consciousness or hypocrisy was immediately appealing his wickedness and saintliness were so extreme that it made him seem larger than life the result was a charismatic aura that was immediate and pre-verbal it radiated from his eyes and from the touch of his hands most of us are a mix of the devil and the Saint the noble and the ignoble and we spend our lives trying to repress the dark side few of us can give free reign to both sides as Rasputin did but we can create Charisma to a smaller degree by ridding ourselves of self-consciousness and of the discomfort most of us feel about our complicated natures you cannot help being the way you are so be genuine that is what attracts us to animals beautiful and cruel they have no self-doubt that quality is doubly fascinating in humans outwardly people may condemn your dark side but it is not virtue alone that creates Charisma anything extraordinary will do do not apologize or go halfway the more unbridled you seem the more magnetic the effect the Demonic performer throughout his childhood Elvis Presley was thought a strange boy who kept pretty much to himself in High School in Memphis Tennessee he attracted attention with his pompadured hair and sideburns his pink and black clothing but people who try to talk to him found nothing there he was either terribly Bland or hopelessly shy at the high school prom he was the only boy who didn't dance he seemed lost in a private World in love with the guitar he took everywhere at the Ellis auditorium at the end of an evening of gospel music or wrestling the concessions manager would often find Elvis on stage miming a performance and taking bows before an imaginary audience asked to leave he would quietly walk away it was a very polite young man in 1953 just out of high school Elvis recorded his first song in a local Studio the record was a test a chance for him to hear his own voice a year later the owner of the studio Sam Phillips called him in to record two blues songs with a couple of professional musicians they worked for hours but nothing seemed to click Elvis was nervous and inhibited then near the end of the evening giddy with exhaustion he suddenly let loose and started to jump around like a child in a moment of complete self-abandon the other musicians joined in the song getting Wilder and Wilder Phillips's eyes lit up he had something here a month later Elvis gave his first public performance outdoors in a Memphis Park he was as nervous as he had been at the recording session and could only stutter when he had to speak but once he broke into song the words came out the crowd responded excitedly rising to Peaks at certain moments Elvis couldn't figure out why I went over to the manager after the song He later said and I asked him what was making the crowd go nuts he told me I'm not really sure but I think that every time you wiggle your left leg they start to scream whatever it is just don't stop a single Elvis recorded in 1954 became a hit soon he was in demand going on stage filled him with anxiety and emotion so much so that he became a different person as if possessed I've talked to some singers and they get a little nervous but they say their nerves kind of settle down after they get into it mine never do it's sort of this energy something maybe like sex he said over the next few months he discovered more gestures and sounds twitching dance movements a more tremulous voice that made the crowds go crazy particularly teenage girls within a year he had become the hottest musician in America his concerts were exercises in Mass Hysteria Elvis Presley had a dark side a secret life some have attributed it to the death at Birth of his twin brother this dark side he deeply repressed as a young man it included all kinds of fantasies which he could only give into when he was alone although his unconventional clothing may also have been a symptom of it when he performed though he was able to let these demons loose they came out as a dangerous sexual power twitching androgynous uninhibited he was a man enacting strange fantasies before the public the audience sensed this and was excited by it it wasn't a flamboyant style and appearance that gave Elvis Charisma but rather the electrifying expression of his inner turmoil a crowd or group of any sort has a unique energy just below the surface is desire a constant sexual excitement that has to be repressed because it is socially unacceptable if you have the ability to Rouse those desires the crowd will see you as having Charisma the key is learning to access your own unconscious as Elvis did when he let go you are full of an excitement that seems to come from some mysterious inner source your uninhibitedness will invite other people to open up sparking a chain reaction their excitement in turn will animate you still more the fantasies you bring to the surface don't have to be sexual any social taboo anything repressed and yearning for an outlet will suffice make this felt in your recordings your artwork your books social pressure keeps people so repressed that they will be attracted to your charisma before they have even met you in person the savior in March of 1917 the Russian Parliament forced the country's ruler Tsar Nicholas to abdicate and established a provisional government Russia was in Ruins its participation in World War one had been a disaster famine was spreading widely the vast Countryside was Riven by looting and Lynch law and soldiers were deserting from the Army on Mass politically the country was bitterly divided the main factions were the right the social Democrats and the left-wing revolutionaries and each of these groups was itself afflicted by dissension into this chaos came the 47 year old Vladimir Ilyich Lenin a Marxist revolutionary the leader of the Bolshevik Communist Party he had suffered a 12-year Exile in Europe until recognizing the chaos overcoming Russia as the chance he had long been waiting for he had hurried back home now he called for the country to end its participation in the war and for an immediate socialist Revolution in the first weeks after his arrival nothing could have seemed more ridiculous as a man Lenin looked unimpressive he was short and plain featured he had also spent years away in Europe isolated from his people and immersed in reading an intellectual argument most important his party was small representing only a splinter group within the Loosely organized left coalition few took him seriously as a national leader undaunted Lenin went to work wherever he went he repeated the same simple message end the war establish the rule of the proletariat abolished private property redistribute wealth exhausted with the nation's endless political infighting and the complexity of its problems people began to listen Lenin was so determined so confident he never lost his cool in the midst of a raucous debate he would simply and logically debunk each one of his adversary's points workers and soldiers were impressed by his firmness once in the midst of a brewing Riot Lenin amazed his chauffeur by jumping onto the running board of his car and directing the way through the crowd at considerable personal risk told that his ideas had nothing to do with reality he would answer so much the worse for reality Allied to Lenin's Messianic confidence in his cause was his ability to organize exiled in Europe his party had been scattered and diminished in keeping them together he had developed immense practical skills in front of a large crowd he was also a powerful orator his speech at the first all-russian Soviet Congress made a sensation either Revolution or a Bourgeois government he cried but nothing in between enough of this compromise in which the left was sharing at a time when other politicians were scrambling desperately to adapt to the National crisis and seemed weak in the process Lenin was Rock stable his Prestige soared as did the membership of the Bolshevik party most astounding of all was Lenin's effect on workers soldiers and peasants he would address these Common People wherever he found them in the street standing on a chair his thumbs in his lapel his speech an odd mix of ideology peasant aphorisms and revolutionary slogans they would listen and raptured when Lenin died in 1924 seven years after single-handedly opening the way to the October revolution of 1917 which had swept him and the Bolsheviks into Power these same ordinary Russians went into mourning they worshiped at his tomb where his body was preserved on view they told stories about him developing a body of Lenin folklore thousands of newborn girls were christened Ninel Lenin spelled backwards this Cult of Lenin assumed religious proportions there are all kinds of misconceptions about Charisma which paradoxically only add to its Mystique Charisma has little to do with an exciting physical appearance or colorful personality qualities that elicit short-term interest particularly in times of trouble people aren't looking for entertainment they want security a better quality of life social cohesion believe it or not a plain looking man or woman with a Clear Vision a quality of single-mindedness and practical skills can be devastatingly charismatic provided it is matched with some success never underestimate the power of success in enhancing one's aura but in a world teeming with compromisers and fudgers whose indecisiveness only creates more disorder one clear-minded soul will be a magnet of attention will have charisma one-on-one or in azuric Cafe before the Revolution Lenin had little or no Charisma his confidence was attractive but many found his strident manner irritating he won Charisma when he was seen as the man who could save the country Charisma is not a mysterious quality that inhabits you outside your control it is an illusion in the eyes of those who see you as having what they lack particularly in times of trouble you can enhance that illusion through calmness resolution and the clear-minded practicality it also helps to have a seductively simple message call it the Savior syndrome once people imagine you can save them from chaos they will fall in love with you like a person who melts in the arms of his or her rescuer and mass love equals Charisma how else to explain the love ordinary Russians felt for a man as emotionless and unexciting as Vladimir Lenin the guru according to the beliefs of the theosophical society every two thousand years or so the spirit of the world teacher Lord maitreya inhabits the body of a human first there was SRI Krishna born two thousand years before Christ then there was Jesus himself and at the start of the 20th century another Incarnation was due one day in 1909 the theosophist Charles Ledbetter saw a boy on an Indian Beach and had an epiphany this 14 year old lad jidu krishnamurthy would be the world teacher's next vehicle lead beater was struck by the Simplicity of the boy who seemed to lack the slightest trace of selfishness the members of the theosophical society agreed with his assessment and adopted this scraggly underfed youth whose teachers had repeatedly beaten him for stupidity they fed and clothed him and began his spiritual instruction the scruffy urchin turned into a devilishly handsome young man in 1911 the theosophists formed the order of the star in the east a group intended to prepare the way for the coming of the world teacher krishnamurti was made head of the order he was taken to England where his education continued and everywhere he went he was pampered and revered his air of Simplicity and contentment couldn't help but impress soon krishnamurthy began to have visions in 1922 he declared quote I have drunk at the fountain of joy and eternal Beauty I am God intoxicated unquote over the next few years he had psychic experiences that the theosophists interpreted as visits from the world teacher a krishnamurthy had actually had a different kind of revolution the truth of the universe Came From Within no God no guru no Dogma could ever make one realize it he himself was no God or Messiah but just another man the reverence that he was treated with disgusted him in 1929 much to his followers shock he disbanded the order of the star and resigned from the theosophical society and so krishnamurthy became a philosopher determined to spread the truth he had discovered you must be simple removing the screen of language and past experience through these means anyone could attain contentment of the kind that radiated from krishnamurti the theosophists abandoned him but his following grew larger than ever in California where he spent much of his time the interest in him verged on cultic adoration poet Robinson Jeffers said that whenever krishnamurthy entered a room you could feel a brightness filling the space the writer Aldous Huxley met him in Los Angeles and fell under his spell hearing him speak he wrote quote it was like listening to the discourse of the Buddha such power such intrinsic Authority unquote the man radiated enlightenment the actor John Barrymore asked him to play the role of Buddha in a film krishnamurthy politely declined when he visited India hands would reach out from the crowd to try to touch him through the open car window people prostrated themselves before him repulsed by all this adoration krishnamurthy grew more and more detached he even talked about himself in the third person in fact the ability to disengage from one's past and view the world Anew was part of his philosophy yet once again the effect was the opposite of what he expected the affection and reverence people felt for him only grew his followers fought jealously for signs of his favor women in particular fell deeply in love with him although he was a lifelong celibate krishnamurti had no desire to be a guru or a charismatic but he inadvertently discovered a law of human psychology that Disturbed him people don't want to hear that your power comes from years of effort or discipline they prefer to think that it comes from your personality your character something you were born with they also hope that proximity to the guru or charismatic will make some of that power rub off on them they didn't want to have to read krishnamurti's books or to spend years practicing his lessons they simply wanted to be near him soak up his Aura hear him speak feel the light that entered the room with him krishnamurthy advocated Simplicity as a way of opening up to the truth but his own Simplicity just allowed people to see what they wanted in him attributing powers to him that he not only denied but ridiculed this is the guru effect and it is surprisingly simple to create the aura you are after is not the fiery one of most charismatics but one of incandescence enlightenment an enlightened person has understood something that makes him or her content and this contentment radiates outward that is the appearance you want you don't need anything or anyone you are fulfilled people are naturally drawn to those who emit happiness maybe they can catch it from you the less obvious you are the better let people conclude that you're happy rather than hearing it from you let them see it in your unhurried manner your gentle smile your ease and comfort keep your words vague letting people imagine what they will remember being aloof and distant only stimulates the effect people will fight for the slightest sign of your interest a guru is content and detached a deadly charismatic combination the drama saint it began on the radio throughout the late 1930s and early 1940s Argentine women would hear the plaintiff musical voice of Eva Duarte in one of the lavishly produced soap operas that were so popular at the time she never made you laugh but how often she could make you cry with the complaints of a betrayed lover or the last words of Marie Antoinette the very thought of her voice made you shiver with emotion and she was pretty with her flowing blonde hair and her serious face which was often on the covers of the gossip magazines in 1943 those magazines published a most exciting story Eva had begun an affair with one of the most dashing men in the new military government Colonel Juan Peron now argentines heard her doing propaganda spots for the government lauding the new Argentina that glistened in the future and finally this fairy tale story reached its perfect conclusion in 1945 Juan and Eva married and the following year the handsome Colonel after many trials and tribulations including a spell in prison from which he was freed by the efforts of his devoted wife was elected president he was a champion of the descamisados the shirtless ones the workers and the poor just as his wife was only 26 at the time she had grown up in poverty herself now that the star was the first lady of the Republic she seemed to change she lost weight most definitely her outfits became less flamboyant even downright austere and that beautiful flowing hair was now pulled back rather severely it was a shame the young Star had grown up but as argentines saw more of the new Evita as she was now known her new look affected them more strongly it was the look of a saintly serious woman one who was indeed what her husband called The Bridge of Love between himself and his people she was now on the radio all the time and listening to her was as emotional as ever but she also spoke magnificently in public her voice was lower and her delivery slower she stabbed the air with her fingers reached out as if to touch the audience and her words pierced you to the Core quote I Left My Dreams by the wayside in order to watch over the dreams of others I now place my soul at the side of the soul of my people I offer them all my energies so that my body may be a bridge erected toward the happiness of all pass over it toward the Supreme Destiny of the new Fatherland unquote it was no longer only through magazines and the radio that Evita made herself felt almost everyone was personally touched by her in some way everyone seemed to know someone who had met her or who had visited her in her office where a line of supplicants wound its way through the hallways to her door behind her desk she sat so calm and full of love film Crews recorded her acts of Charity to a woman who had lost everything Evita would give a house to one with a sick child free care in the finest Hospital she worked so hard no wonder rumor had it that she was ill and everyone heard of her visits to the shanty towns and to hospitals for the poor where against the wishes of her staff she would kiss people with all kinds of maladies lepers syphilitic men Etc on the cheek once an assistant appalled by this habit tried to dab Evita's lips with alcohol to sterilize them this saint of a woman grabbed the bottle and smashed it against the wall yes Evita was a saint a living Madonna her appearance alone could heal the sick and when she died of cancer in 1952 no Outsider to Argentina could possibly understand the sense of grief and loss she left behind for some the country never recovered most of us live in a semi-some realistic state we do our daily tasks and the days fly by the two exceptions to this are childhood and those moments when we are in love in both cases our emotions are more engaged more open and active and we equate feeling emotional with feeling more alive a public figure who can affect people's emotions who can make them feel communal sadness Joy or hope has a similar effect an appeal to the emotions is far more powerful than an appeal to reason Eva Perron knew this power early on as a radio actress her tremulous voice could make audiences weep because of this people saw in her great Charisma she never forgot the experience her every Public Act was framed in dramatic and religious motifs drama is condensed emotion and the Catholic religion is a force that reaches into your childhood hits you where you cannot help yourself Evita's uplifted arms her staged acts of Charity her sacrifices for the common folk all this went straight to the heart it wasn't her goodness alone that was charismatic although the appearance of goodness is alluring enough it was her ability to dramatize her goodness you must learn to exploit the two great purveyors of emotion drama and religion drama cuts out the useless and banal in life focusing on moments of pity and Terror religion deals with matters of life and death make your charitable actions dramatic give your loving words religious import bathe everything in rituals and myths going back to Childhood caught up in the emotions you stir people will see over your head the Halo of charisma the deliverer in Harlem in the early 1950s few African Americans knew much about the Nation of Islam or ever stepped into its Temple the nation preached that white people were descended from the devil and that someday Allah would Liberate the black race the doctrine had little meaning for harlemites who went to church for Spiritual Solace and turned in Practical matters to their local politicians but in 1954 a new Minister for the Nation of Islam arrived in Harlem The Minister's name was Malcolm X and he was well read and eloquent yet his gestures and words were angry word spread whites had lynched Malcolm's father he had grown up in a juvenile facility then had survived as a small time Hustler before being arrested for burglary and spending six years in prison its short life he was only 29 at the time had been one long run-in with the law yet look at him now so confident and educated no one had helped him he had done it all on his own harlemites began to see Malcolm X everywhere handing out flyers addressing the Young he would stand outside their churches and as the congregation dispersed he would point to the preacher and say he represents the white man's God I represent the black man's God the Curious began to come to hear him preach at a Nation of Islam Temple he would ask them to look at the actual conditions of their lives when you get through looking at where you live then take a walk across Central Park you would tell them look at the white man's apartments look at his Wall Street his words were powerful particularly coming from a minister in 1957 a young Muslim in Harlem witnessed the beating of a drunken black man by several policemen when the Muslim protested the police pummeled him senseless and carted him off to jail an Angry Crowd gathered outside the police station ready to Riot told that only Malcolm X could forestall violence the police commissioner brought him in and told him to break up the mob Malcolm refused speaking more temperately the commissioner begged him to reconsider Malcolm calmly set conditions for his cooperation medical care for the beaten Muslim and proper punishment for the police officers the commissioner reluctantly agreed outside the station Malcolm explained the agreement and the crowd dispersed in Harlem and around the country he was an overnight hero finally a man who took action membership in his Temple soared Malcolm began to speak all over the United States he never read from a text looking out at the audience he made eye contact pointed his finger his anger was obvious not so much in his tone he was always controlled and articulate as in his Fierce energy the veins popping out on his neck many earlier black leaders had used cautious words and had asked their followers to deal patiently and politely with their social lot no matter how unfair what a relief Malcolm was he ridiculed the racists he ridiculed the Liberals he ridiculed the president no white person escaped his scorn if whites were violent Malcolm said the language of violence should be spoken back to them for it was the only language they understood hostility is good he cried out it's been bottled up too long in response to the growing popularity of the non-violent leader Martin Luther King Jr Malcolm said anybody can sit an old woman can sit a coward can sit it takes a man to stand Malcolm X had a bracing effect on many who felt the same anger he did but were frightened to express it at his funeral he was assassinated in 1965 at one of his speeches the actor Ozzie Davis delivered the eulogy before a large and emotional crowd Malcolm he said was our own black shining Prince Malcolm X was a charismatic of Moses's kind he was a deliverer the power of this sort of charismatic comes from his or her expression of dark emotions that have built up over years of Oppression in doing so the deliverer provides an opportunity for the release of bottled up emotions by other people of the hostility masked by forced politeness and smiles deliverers have to be one of the suffering crowd only more so their pain must be exemplary Malcolm's personal history was an integral part of his Charisma his lesson that blacks should help themselves not wait for whites to lift them up meant a great deal more because of his own years in prison and because he had followed his own Doctrine by educating himself lifting himself up from the bottom the deliverer must be a living example of personal Redemption the essence of Charisma is an overpowering emotion that communicates itself in your gestures in your tone of voice in subtle signs that are the more powerful for being unspoken you feel something more deeply than others and no emotion is more powerful and more capable of creating a charismatic reaction than hatred particularly if it comes from deep-rooted feelings of Oppression Express what others are afraid to express and they will see great power in you say what they want to say but cannot never be afraid of going too far if you represent a release from oppression you have the leeway to go still farther Moses spoke of violence of destroying every last one of his enemies language like this brings the oppressed together and makes them feel more alive this is not however something that is uncontrollable on your part Malcolm X felt rage from early on but only in prison did he teach himself the art of oratory and how to channel his emotions nothing is more charismatic than the sense that someone is struggling with great emotion rather than simply giving into it The Olympian actor on January 24 1960 an Insurrection broke out in Algeria then still a French colony led by right-wing French soldiers its purpose was to forestall the proposal of President Charles de Gul to Grant Algeria the right of self-determination if necessary the insurrectionists would take over Algeria in the name of France for several tense days the 70 year old de Gaulle maintained a strange silence then on January 29th at 8 in the evening he appeared on French national television before he had uttered a word the audience was astonished for he wore his old uniform from World War II a uniform that everyone recognized and that created a strong emotional response de Gall had been the hero of the resistance the savior of the country at its darkest moment but that uniform had not been seen for quite some time then de Gaulle spoke reminding his public in his cool and confident manner of all they had accomplished together in liberating France from the Germans slowly he moved from these charged patriotic issues to the rebellion in Algeria and the affront it presented to the spirit of the liberation he finished his address by repeating his famous words of June 18 1940. once again I call all Frenchmen wherever they are whatever they are to reunite with France vivla republique Vive La France the speech had two purposes it showed that the goal was determined not to give an inch to the rebels and it reached for the heart of all patriotic Frenchmen particularly in the army the Insurrection quickly died and no one doubted the connection between its failure and de gaulle's performance on television the following year the French voted overwhelmingly in favor of Algerian self-determination on April 11 1961 de Gaulle gave a press conference in which he made it clear that France would soon Grant the country full Independence eleven Days Later French Generals in Algeria issued a communique stating that they had taken over the country and declaring a state of Siege this was the most dangerous moment of all faced with algeria's imminent Independence these right-wing generals would go all the way a civil war could break out toppling de gaulle's government the following night de Gaulle appeared once again on television once again wearing his old uniform he mocked the generals comparing them to a South American junta he talked calmly and sternly then suddenly at the very end of the address his voice Rose and even trembled as he called out to the audience French women Frenchman help me it was the most stirring moment of all his television appearances French soldiers in Algeria listening on transistor radios were overwhelmed the next day they held a mass demonstration in favor of De Gaulle two days later the generals surrendered on July 1st 1962 de Gaulle proclaimed algeria's Independence in 1940 after the German invasion of France the Gaul escaped to England to recruit an army that would eventually return to France for the liberation at the beginning he was alone and his mission seemed hopeless but he had the support of Winston Churchill and with Churchill's blessing he gave a series of radio talks that the BBC broadcast to France his strange hypnotic voice with its dramatic tremolos would enter French living rooms in the evenings few of his listeners even knew what he looked like but his tone was so confident so stirring that he recruited a silent Army of believers in person the goal was a strange brooding man whose confident manner could just as easily irritate as win over but over the radio that voice had intense Charisma de Gaulle was the first great master of modern media for he easily transferred his dramatic skills to television where his iceness his calmness his total self-possession made audiences feel both comforted and inspired the world has grown more fractured a nation no longer comes together on the streets or in the squares it is brought together in living rooms where people watching television all over the country can simultaneously be alone and with others Charisma must now be communicable over the airwaves or it has no power but it is in some ways easier to project on television both because television makes a direct one-on-one appeal the charismatic seems to address you and because Charisma is fairly easy to fake for the few moments you spend in front of the camera as de galle understood when appearing on television it's best to radiate calmness and control to use dramatic effects sparingly de gaulle's overall iciness made doubly effective the brief moments in which he raised his voice or let loose a biting joke by remaining calm and underplaying it he hypnotized his audience your face can express much more if your voice is less straightened he conveyed emotion visually the uniform the setting and through the use of certain charged words The Liberation Joan of Arc the less he strained for effect the more sincere he appeared all this must be carefully orchestrated punctuate your calmness with surprises rise to a climax keep things short and terse the only thing that cannot be faked is self-confidence the key component to Charisma since the days of Moses should the camera lights betray your insecurity all the tricks in the world will not put your charisma back together again dangers on a pleasant May Day in 1794 the citizens of Paris gathered in a park for the Festival of the Supreme Being the focus of their attention was Maximilian de Robespierre head of the Committee of Public Safety and the man who had thought up the festival in the first place the idea was simple to combat atheism quote to recognize the existence of a Supreme Being and the immortality of the Soul as The Guiding forces of the universe unquote it was Robespierre's day of Triumph standing before the masses in his sky blue suit and white stockings he initiated the festivities the crowd adored him after all he had safeguarded the purposes of the French Revolution through the intense politicking that had followed it the year before he had initiated the reign of terror which cleansed the revolution of its enemies by sending them to the guillotine he had also helped guide the country through a war against the austrians and the prussians what made crowds particularly women love him was his Incorruptible virtue he lived very modestly his refusal to compromise the passion for the revolution that was evident in everything he did and the Romantic language of his speeches which could not fail to inspire he was a god the day was beautiful and augered a great future for the revolution two months later on July 26th Robespierre delivered a speech that he thought would ensure his place in history for he intended to hint at the end of the terror and a new era for France rumor also had it that he was to call for a last handful of people to be sent to the guillotine a final group that threatened the safety of the revolution mounting the Rostrum to address the country's governing convention robosphere wore the same clothes he had worn on the day of the festival the speech was long almost three hours and included an impassioned description of the values and virtues he had helped protect there was also talk of conspiracies treachery unnamed enemies the response was enthusiastic but a little less so than usual the speech had tired many representatives then a lone voice was heard that of a man named bordon who spoke against printing Robespierre's speech a veiled sign of disapproval suddenly others stood up on all sides and accused him of vagueness he had talked of conspiracies and threats without naming the guilty asked to be specific he refused preferring to name names later on the next day Robespierre stood to defend his speech and the representatives shouted him down a few hours later he was the one sent to the guillotine on July 28th amid a gathering of citizens who seemed to be in an even more festive mood than at the festival of the Supreme Being Robespierre's head fell into the basket to resounding cheers the reign of terror is over many of those who seemed to admire Robespierre actually harbored annoying resentment of him he was so virtuous so Superior it was oppressive some of these men had plotted against him and were waiting for the slightest sign of weakness which appeared on that fateful day when he gave his last speech in refusing to name his enemies he had shown either a desire to end the Bloodshed or a fear that they would strike at him before he could have them killed fed by the conspirators this one spark turned into fire within two days first a governing body and then a nation turned against a charismatic who two months before had been revered Charisma is as volatile as the emotions it stirs most often it stirs Sentiments of love but such feelings are hard to maintain psychologists talk of erotic fatigue the moments after love in which you feel tired of it resentful reality Creeps in love turns to hate erotic fatigue is a threat to all charismatics the charismatic often wins Love by acting the Savior rescuing people from some difficult circumstance but once they feel secure Charisma is less seductive to them charismatics need danger and risk they aren't plotting bureaucrats some of them deliberately keep danger going as de Gaulle and Kennedy were want to do or as Robespierre did through the reign of terror people Tire of this and that your first sign of weakness they will turn on you the love they showed before will be matched by their hatred now the only defense is to master your charisma your passion your anger your confidence make you charismatic but too much Charisma for too long creates fatigue and a desire for calmness and Order the better kind of Charisma is created consciously and is kept under control when you need to you can glow with confidence and fervor inspiring the masses but when the adventure is over you can settle into a routine turning the heat not out but down Robespierre may have been planning that move but it came a Day Too Late people will admire your self-control and adaptability their love affair with you will move closer to the habitual affection of a man and wife you will even have the leeway to look a little boring a little simple a role that can also seem charismatic if played correctly remember Charisma depends on success and the best way to maintain success after the initial charismatic Rush is to be practical and even cautious Mao Zedong was a distant enigmatic man who for many had an awe-inspiring Charisma he suffered many setbacks that would have spelled the end of a less clever man but after each reversal he retreated becoming practical tolerant flexible at least for a while this protected him from the dangers of a counter-reaction there is another alternative to play the armed prophet according to Machiavelli although a prophet May acquire power through his charismatic personality he cannot long survive without the strength to back it up he needs an army the masses will Tire of him they will need to be forced being an armed Prophet may not literally involve arms but it Demands a forceful side to your character which you can back up with action unfortunately this means being merciless with your enemies for as long as you retain power and no one creates more bitter enemies than the charismatic finally there is nothing more dangerous than succeeding a charismatic these characters are unconventional and their rule is personal in style being stamped with the wildness of their personalities they often leave chaos in their wake the one who follows after a charismatic is left with a mess which the people however do not see they miss their inspirer and blame the successor avoid this situation at all costs if it is unavoidable do not try to continue with the charismatic started go in a New Direction by being practical trustworthy and plain speaking you can often generate a strange kind of Charisma through contrast that was how Harry Truman not only survived the legacy of Roosevelt but established his own type of charisma in conclusion here are some further Reflections on the charismatic a quote from Max Faber Charisma shall be understood to refer to an extraordinary quality of a person regardless of whether this quality is actual alleged or presumed charismatic Authority hence shall refer to a rule over men whether predominantly external or predominantly internal to which the governed submit because of their belief in the extraordinary quality of the specific person from the Old Testament book of Exodus chapter 34 Verse 27. and the Lord said to Moses write these words in accordance with these words I have made a covenant with you and with Israel and he was there with the Lord forty days and 40 nights he neither ate bread nor drank water and he wrote upon the tables the words of the Covenant the Ten Commandments when Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tables of the testimony in his hand as he came down from the mountain Moses did not know that the skin of his face Shone because he had been talking with God and when Aaron and all the people of Israel saw Moses behold the skin of his face Shone and they were afraid to come near him but Moses called to them and Aaron and all the leaders of the congregation returned to him and Moses talked with them and afterward all the people of Israel came near and he gave them in commandment all that the Lord had spoken with him in Mount Sinai and when Moses had finished speaking with them he put a veil on his face but whenever Moses went in before the Lord to speak with him he took the veil off until he came out and when he came out and told the people of Israel what he was commanded the people of Israel saw the face of Moses that the skin of Moses's face shone and Moses would put the veil upon his face again until he went in to speak with him a quote from General Van Damme on Napoleon Bonaparte that devil of a man exercises a Fascination on me that I cannot explain even to myself and in such a degree that though I fear neither God nor devil when I am in his presence I am ready to tremble like a child and he could make me go through the eye of a needle to throw myself into the fire a quote from Sigmund Freud the masses have never thirsted after truth they demand Illusions and cannot do without them they constantly give what is unreal precedence over what is real they are almost as strongly influenced by what is untrue as by what is true they have an evident tendency not to distinguish between the two a quote by Vita Sackville West from Saint Joan of Arc in such conditions where half the battle was hand to hand concentrated into a small space the spirit and example of the leader counted for much when we remember this it becomes easier to understand the astonishing effect of Jones presence upon the French troops her position as a leader was a unique one she was not a professional Soldier she was not really a soldier at all she wasn't even a man she was ignorant of War she was a girl dressed up but she believed and had made others willing to believe that she was the mouthpiece of God on Friday April 29 1429 the news spread in orleo that a force led by the pusel of Dom Remy was on its way to the relief of the city a piece of news which as the chronicler remarks comforted them greatly a quote by Norman Cohn from the pursuit of the millennium amongst the Surplus population living on the margin of society in the Middle Ages there was always a strong tendency to take as leader a Layman or maybe an apostate Friar or monk who imposed himself not simply as a holy man but as a prophet or even as a Living God on the strength of Inspirations or Revelations for which he claimed divine origin this leader would decree for his followers a communal mission of vast dimensions and world shaking importance the conviction of having such a mission of being divinely appointed to carry out a prodigious task provided the disoriented and the frustrated with new bearings and New Hope it gave them not simply a place in the world but a unique and resplendent place a fraternity of this kind felt itself an elite set infinitely apart from an above ordinary Mortals sharing also in his miraculous powers a quote from Rasputin the holy Devil by Renee Philip Miller how peculiar Rasputin's eyes are confesses a woman who had made efforts to resist his influence she goes on to say that every time she met him she was always amazed afresh at the power of His glance which it was impossible to withstand for any considerable time there was something oppressive in this kind and gentle but at the same time Sly and cunning glance people were helpless under the spell of the powerful will which could be felt in his whole being however tired you might be of this charm and however much you wanted to escape it somehow or other you always found yourself attracted back and held a young girl who had heard of the strange new Saint came from her Province to the capital and visited him in search of edification and spiritual instruction she had never seen either him or a portrait of him before and met him for the first time in his house when he came up to her and spoke to her she thought him like one of the peasant preachers she had often seen in her own country home his gentle monastic gaze and the plainly parted light brown hair around the worthy simple face all at first inspired her confidence but when he came nearer to her she felt immediately that another quite different man mysterious crafty and corrupting looked out from behind the eyes that radiated goodness and gentleness he sat down opposite her edged quite close up to her and his light blue eyes changed color and became deep and dark a keen glance reached her from the corner of his eyes bored into her and held her fascinated a lead in heaviness overpowered her limbs as his great wrinkled face distorted with desire came closer to hers she felt his hot breath on her cheeks and saw how his eyes burning from the depths of their sockets furtively roved over her helpless body until he dropped his lids with a sensuous expression his voice had fallen to a passionate whisper and he murmured strange voluptuous words in her ear just as she was on the point of abandoning herself to her Seducer a memory stirred in her dimly and as if from some far distance she recalled that she had come to ask him about God a quote by Max Faber by its very nature the existence of charismatic Authority is specifically unstable the holder May forego his Charisma he may feel forsaken by his God as Jesus did on the cross he may prove to his followers that virtue is gone out of him it is then that his mission is extinguished and hope Waits and searches for a new halter of charisma from coriolanus by William Shakespeare he is their God he leads them like a thing made by some other deity than nature that shapes man better and they follow him against us brats with no less confidence than boys pursuing summer butterflies or butchers killing flies from a description of Elvis Presley's concert at the hayride theater in Shreveport Louisiana December 17 1956. the roof did lift as Presley came on stage he sang for 25 minutes while the audience erupted like Mount Vesuvius I never saw such excitement and screaming in my entire life ever before or since said film director Hal Cantor as an observer he described being stunned by an exhibition of public Mass hysteria a tidal wave of adoration surging up from 9 000 people over the wall of police flanking the stage up over the floodlights to the performer and Beyond him lifting him to frenzied Heights of response a quotation by a.n petresev no one could so fire others with their plans no one could so impose his will and Conquer by force of his personality as this seemingly so ordinary and somewhat coarse man who lacked any obvious sources of charm neither plechanov nor martov nor anyone else possessed the secret radiating from Lenin of positively hypnotic effect upon people I would even say domination of them plechanov was treated with deference martov was loved but Lenin alone was followed unhesitatingly as the only indisputable leader for only Lenin represented that rare phenomenon especially rare in Russia of a man of iron will and indomitable energy who combines fanatical faith in the movement the cause with no less faith in himself a quotation from Joseph Stalin on meeting Lenin for the first time in 1905. I had hoped to see the mountain eagle of our party the great man great physically as well as politically I had fancied Lenin as a giant stately and imposing how great was my disappointment to see a most ordinary looking man below average height in no way literally in no way distinguishable from ordinary Mortals a quotation from Shah zagal first and foremost there can be no Prestige without mystery for familiarity breeds contempt in the design the demeanor and the mental operations of a leader there must always be a something which others cannot altogether fathom which puzzles them stirs them and rivets their attention to hold in reserve some piece of secret knowledge which may any moment intervene and the more effectively from being in the nature of a surprise the latent faith of the masses will do the rest once the leader has been judged capable of adding the weight of his personality to the known factors of any situation the ensuing hope and confidence will add immensely to the faith reposed in him from Evita by Nicholas Frazier and Marissa Navara only a month after Evita's death the newspaper vendors Union put forth her name for canonization and although this gesture was an isolated one was never taken seriously by the Vatican the idea of Evita's Holiness remained with many people and was reinforced by the publication of devotional literature subsidized by the government by the renaming of cities schools and subway stations and by the stamping of medallions the casting of busts and the issuing of ceremonial stamps the time of the evening news broadcast was changed from 8 30 pm to 8 25 PM the time when Evita had passed into immortality and each month there were torch lit processions on the 26th of the month the day of her death on the first anniversary of her death La prensa printed a story about one of its readers seeing Evita's face in the face of the Moon and after this there were many more such sightings reported in the newspapers for the most part official Publications stopped short of claiming sainthood for her but their restraint was not always convincing in the calendar for 1953 of the Buenos Aires newspaper vendors as in other unofficial images she was depicted in the traditional blue Robes of the virgin her hands crossed her sad head to one side and surrounded by a Halo a quote from Napoleon Bonaparte as for me I have the gift of electrifying men a quote from Malcolm X I do not pretend to be a Divine man but I do believe in Divine guidance divine power and divine prophecy I am not educated nor am I an expert in any particular field but I am sincere and my sincerity is my credentials the star daily life is Harsh and most of us constantly seek escape from it in fantasies and dreams Stars feed on this weakness standing out from others through a distinctive and appealing style they make us want to watch them at the same time they are vague and ethereal keeping their distance and letting us imagine more than is there dreamlike quality works on our unconscious we are not even aware how much we imitate them learn to become an object of Fascination by projecting the glittering but elusive presence of the star the fetishistic star one day in 1922 in Berlin Germany a casting call went out for the part of a voluptuous young woman in a film called tragedy of love of the hundreds of struggling young actresses who showed up most would do anything to get the casting director's attention including exposing themselves there was one young woman in the line however who was simply dressed and performed none of the other girls desperate Antics yet she stood out anyway the girl carried a puppy on leash and had draped An Elegant necklace around the puppy's neck the casting director noticed her immediately he watched her as she stood in line calmly holding the dog in her arms in keeping to herself when she smoked a cigarette her gestures were slow and suggestive he was fascinated by her legs and face the sinuous way she moved the hint of coldness in her eyes by the time she had come to the front he had already cast her her name was Marlena Dietrich by 1929 when the Austrian American director Joseph Von Sternberg arrived in Berlin to Begin work on the film The Blue Angel the 27 year old Dietrich was well known in the Berlin film and theater world the Blue Angel was to be about a woman called Lola Lola who prays sadistically on men and all of Berlin's best actresses wanted the part except apparently Dietrich who made it known that she thought the role demeaning Von Sternberg should choose from the other actresses he had in mind shortly after arriving in Berlin however Von Sternberg attended a performance of a musical to watch a male actor he was considering for the Blue Angel the star of the musical was Dietrich and as soon as she came on stage Von Sternberg found that he couldn't take his eyes off her she stared at him directly insolently like a man and then there were those legs and the way she leaned provocatively against the wall when Sternberg forgot about the actor he had come to see he had found his Lola Lola Von Sternberg managed to convince Dietrich to take the part and immediately he went to work molding her into the Lola of his imagination he changed her hair drew a silver line down her nose to make it seem thinner taught her to look at the camera with the insolence he had seen on stage when filming began he created a lighting system just for her a light that tracked her wherever she went and was strategically heightened by gauze and smoke obsessed with his creation he followed her everywhere no one else could go near her the Blue Angel was a huge success in Germany audiences were fascinated with Dietrich that cold brutal stairs she spread her legs over a stool bearing her underwear her effortless way of commanding attention on screen others besides Von Sternberg became obsessed with her a man dying of cancer count Sasha collarat had One Last Wish to see Marlena's legs in person Dietrich obliged visiting him in the hospital and lifting up her skirt he sighed and said thank you now I can die happy soon Paramount Studios brought Dietrich to Hollywood where everyone was quickly talking about her at a party all eyes would turn toward her when she came into the room she would be escorted by the most handsome men in Hollywood and would be wearing an outfit both beautiful and unusual gold Lemay pajamas a sailor suit with a yachting cap the next day the look would be copied by women all over town next it would spread to magazines and a whole new trend would start the real object of Fascination however was unquestionably dietrich's face what had enthralled Von Sternberg was her blankness with a simple lighting trick he could make that face do whatever he wanted Dietrich eventually stopped working with Von Sternberg but never forgot what he had taught her One Night in 1951 the director Fritz long who was about to direct her in the film Rancho notorious was driving past his office when he saw a light flash in the window fearing a burglary he got out of his car crept up the stairs and peeked through the crack in the door it was Dietrich taking pictures of herself in the mirror studying her face from every angle Marlena Dietrich had a distance from her own self she could study her face her legs her body as if she were someone else this gave her the ability to mold her look transforming her appearance for effect she could pose in just the way that would most excite a man her blankness letting him see her according to his fantasy whether of sadism voluptuousness or danger and every man who met her or who watched her on screen fantasized endlessly about her the effect worked on women as well in the words of one writer she projected sex without gender but this self-distance gave her a certain coldness whether on film or in person she was like a beautiful object something to fetishize and admire the way we admire a work of art The Fetish is an object that commands an emotional response and that makes us breathe life into it because it is an object we can imagine whatever we want to about it most people are too Moody complex and reactive to let us see them as objects that we can fetishize the power of the fetishistic star comes from an ability to become an object and not just any object but an object we fetishize one that stimulates a variety of fantasies fetishistic stars are perfect like the statue of a Greek god or goddess the effect is startling and seductive its principal requirement is self-distance if you see yourself as an object then others will too an ethereal dream like air will heighten the effect you are a blank screen float through life non-committally and people will want to seize you and consume you of all the parts of your body that draw this fetishistic attention the strongest is the face so learn to tune your face like an instrument making it radiate a fascinating vagueness for effect and since you will have to stand out from other stars in the sky you will need to develop an attention-getting style Dietrich was the great practitioner of this art her style was Chic enough to Dazzle weird enough to enthrall remember your own image and presence are materials you can control the sense that you are engaged in this kind of play will make people see you as Superior and worthy of imitation the Mythic star on July 2nd 1960 a few weeks before that Year's Democratic National Convention former president Harry Truman publicly stated that John F Kennedy who had won enough delegates to be chosen his Party's candidate for the presidency was too young and inexperienced for the job Kennedy's response was startling he called a press conference to be televised live and Nationwide on July 4th the conference's drama was heightened by the fact that he was away on vacation so that no one saw or heard from him until the event itself then at the appointed hour Kennedy strode into the conference room like a sheriff entering Dodge City he began by stating that he had run in all of the state primaries at considerable expense of money and effort and had beaten his opponents fairly in squarely who was Truman to circumvent the Democratic process this is a young country Kennedy went on his voice getting louder founded by young men and still young at heart the world is changing the old ways will not do it is time for a new generation of leadership to cope with new problems and new opportunities even Kennedy's enemies agreed that his speech that day was stirring he turned Truman's challenge around the issue was not his inexperience but the older Generations Monopoly on power his style was as eloquent as his words for his performance evoked films of the time Alan Ladd and Shane confronting the corrupt older ranchers or James Dean and Rebel Without a Cause Kennedy even resembled Dean particularly in his air of cool detachment a few months later now approved as the Democrats presidential candidate Kennedy squared off against his Republican opponent Richard Nixon in their first nationally televised debate Nixon was sharp he knew the answers to the questions and debated with the plum quoting statistics on the accomplishments of the Eisenhower Administration in which he had served as vice president but beneath the glare of the cameras on black and white television he was a ghastly figure his five o'clock shadow covered up with powder streaks of sweat on his brow and cheeks his face drooping with fatigue his eyes shifting and blinking his body rigid what was he so worried about the contrast with Kennedy was startling if Nixon looked only at his opponent Kennedy looked out at the audience making eye contact with his viewers addressing them in their living rooms as no politician had ever done before if Nixon talked data and niggling points of debate Kennedy spoke of freedom of building a new Society of recapturing America's Pioneer Spirit his manner was sincere and emphatic his words were not specific but he made his listeners imagine a wonderful future the day after the debate Kennedy's poll numbers soared miraculously and wherever he went he was greeted by crowds of young girls screaming and jumping his beautiful wife Jackie by his side he was a kind of democratic Prince now his television appearances were events he was in due course elected president and his inaugural address also broadcast on television was stirring it was a cold and wintry day in the background Eisenhower sat huddled in coat and scarf looking old and beaten but Kennedy stood hatless and coatless to address the nation I do not believe that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other generation the energy the faith the devotion which we bring to this endeavor will light our country and all who serve it and the glow from that fire can truly light the world over the months to come Kennedy gave innumerable live press conferences before the TV cameras something no previous president had dared facing the firing squad of lenses and questions he was unafraid speaking coolly and slightly ironically what was going on behind those eyes that smile people wanted to know more about him the magazines teased its readers with information photographs of Kennedy with his wife and children or playing football on the White House lawn interviews creating a sense of him as a devoted family man yet one who mingled as an equal with glamorous Stars the images all melted together the Space Race the Peace Corps Kennedy facing up to the Soviets during the Cuban Missile Crisis just as he had faced up to Truman after Kennedy was assassinated Jackie said in an interview that before he went to bed he would often play the soundtracks to Broadway musicals and his favorite of these was Camelot with its lines don't let it be forgot that once there was a spot for one brief Shining Moment that was known as Camelot there would be great presidents again Jackie said but never another Camelot the name Camelot seemed to stick making Kennedy's thousand days in office resonate as myth Kennedy's seduction of the American public was conscious and calculated it was also more Hollywood than Washington which wasn't surprising Kennedy's Father Joseph had once been a movie producer and Kennedy himself had spent time in Hollywood hobnobbing with actors and trying to figure out what made them Stars he was particularly fascinated with Gary Cooper Montgomery Clift and Carrie Grant he often called grant for advice Hollywood had found ways to unite the entire country around certain themes or myths often the Great American Myth of the West the great Stars embodied Mythic types John Wayne the patriarch Clift the Promethean Rebel Jimmy Stewart the noble hero Marilyn Monroe the siren these were not mere mortals but gods and goddesses to be dreamed and fantasized about all of Kennedy's actions were framed in the conventions of Hollywood he did not argue with his opponents he confronted them dramatically he posed and in visually fascinating ways whether with his wife with his children or alone on stage he copied the facial expressions the presence of a Dean or a Cooper he did not discuss policy details but waxed eloquent about Grand Mythic themes the kind that could unite a divided nation and all this was calculated for television for Kennedy mostly existed as a televised image that image haunted our dreams well before his assassination Kennedy attracted fantasies of America's Lost Innocence with his call for a Renaissance of the pioneer Spirit a new frontier of all the character types the Mythic star is perhaps the most powerful of all people are divided by all kinds of consciously recognized categories race gender class religion politics it is impossible then to gain power on a grand scale or to win an election by drawing unconscious awareness an appeal to any one group will only alienate another unconsciously however there is much we share all of us are mortal all of us know fear all of us have been stamped with the imprint of parent figures and nothing conjures up this shared experience more than myth the patterns of myth born out of Warring feelings of helplessness on the one hand and thirst for immortality on the other are deeply engraved in us all Mythic stars are figures of myth come to life to appropriate their power you must first study their physical presence how they adopt a distinctive style are cool and Visually arresting then you must assume the pose of a Mythic figure the rebel the wise patriarch the adventurer the pose of a star who has struck one of these mythic poses might do the trick make these connections vague they should never be obvious to the conscious mind your words and actions should invite interpretation beyond their surface appearance you should seem to be dealing not with specific nitty-gritty issues and details but with matters of life and death love and hate Authority and chaos your opponent similarly should be framed not merely as an enemy for reasons of ideology or competition but as a villain a demon people are hopelessly susceptible to myth so make yourself the hero of a great drama and keep your distance let people identify with you without being able to touch you they can only watch and dream a quote by Jacqueline Kennedy a week after John Kennedy's death Jack's life had more to do with myth magic Legend Saga and story than with political Theory or political science keys to the character seduction is a form of persuasion that seeks to bypass Consciousness stirring the unconscious mind instead the reason for this is simple we are so surrounded by stimuli that compete for our attention bombarding us with obvious messages and by people who are overtly political and manipulative that we are rarely Charmed or deceived by them we have grown increasingly cynical try to persuade a person by appealing to their Consciousness by saying outright what you want by showing all your cards and what hope do you have you are just one more irritation to be tuned out to avoid this fate you must learn the art of insinuation of reaching the unconscious the most eloquent expression of the unconscious is the dream which is intricately connected to myth waking from a dream we are often haunted by its images and ambiguous messages dreams obsess us because they mix the real and the unreal they are filled with real characters and often deal with real situations yet they are delightfully irrational pushing realities to the extremes of delirium if everything in a dream were realistic it would have no power over us if everything were unreal we would feel less involved in its pleasures and fears its Fusion of the two is what makes it haunting this is what Freud called The Uncanny something that seems simultaneously strange and familiar we sometimes experience The Uncanny and Waking Life in a Deja Vu a miraculous coincidence a weird event that recalls a childhood experience people can have a similar effect the gestures the words the very being of man like Kennedy or Andy Warhol for example evoke both the real and the unreal we may not imagine it and how could we really but they are like dream figures to us they have qualities that anchor them in reality sincerity playfulness sensuality but at the same time their aloofness their superiority they're almost surreal quality makes them seem like something out of a movie these types have a haunting obsessive effect on people whether in public or in private they seduce us making us want to possess them both physically and psychologically but how can we possess a person from a dream or a movie star or political star or even one of those real-life fascinators like a Warhol who may cross our path unable to have them we become obsessed with them they haunt our thoughts our dreams our fantasies we imitate them unconsciously the psychologist shandor ferenzi calls this introjection another person becomes part of our ego we internalize their character that is the Insidious seductive power of a star a power you can appropriate by making yourself into a cipher a mix of the real and the unreal most people are hopelessly banal that is far too real what you need to do is etherealize yourself your words and actions seem to come from your unconscious have a certain looseness to them you hold yourself back occasionally revealing a trait that makes people wonder whether they really know you are is a creation of modern Cinema that is no surprise film recreates the dream world we watch a movie in the dark in a semi-somnolent state the images are real enough into varying degrees depict realistic situations but they are projections flickering lights images we know they are not real it's as if we were watching someone else's dream it was the cinema not the theater that created the star on a theater stage actors are far away lost in the crowd too real in their bodily presence what enabled film to manufacture the star was the close-up which suddenly separates actors from their contexts filling your mind with their image the close-up seems to reveal something not so much about the character they are playing but about themselves we Glimpse something of Greta Garbo herself when we look so closely into her face never forget this while fashioning yourself as a star first you must have such a large presence that you can fill your Target's mind the way a close-up fills the screen you must have a style or presence that makes you stand out from everyone else be vague and dreamlike yet not distant or absent you don't want people to be unable to focus on or remember you they have to be seeing you in their minds when you are not there second cultivate a blank mysterious face the center that radiates starnus this allows people to read into you whatever they want to imagining they can see your character even your soul instead of signaling moods and emotions instead of emoting or over emoting the star draws in interpretations that is the obsessive power in the face of Garbo or Dietrich or even of Kennedy who molded his Expressions on James Dean's a living thing is dynamic and changing while an object or image is passive but in its passivity it stimulates our fantasies person can gain That Power by becoming a kind of object the great 18th century charlatan count Saint-Germain was in many ways a precursor of the star he would suddenly appear in town no one knew from where he spoke many languages but his accent belonged to no single country nor was it clear how old he was not young clearly but his face had a healthy glow the count only went out at night he always wore black and also spectacular jewels arriving at the court of Louis XV he was in instant sensation he wreaked wealth but no one knew its source he made the king and Madame de pompadour believe he had fantastic Powers including even the ability to turn base matter into gold the gift of the Philosopher's Stone but he never made any great claims for himself it was all insinuation he never said yes or no only perhaps he would sit down for dinner but was never seen eating he once gave Madame de pompadura a gift of candies in a box that changed color and aspect depending on how she held it this entrancing object she said reminded her of the count himself painted the strangest paintings anyone had ever seen the colors were so vibrant that when he painted Jewels people thought they were real painters were desperate to know his Secrets but he never revealed them he would leave town as he had entered suddenly and quietly his greatest admirer was Casanova who met him and never forgot him when he died no one believed it years decades a century later people were certain he was hiding somewhere a person with powers like his Never Dies the count had all the star qualities everything about him was ambiguous and open to interpretation colorful and vibrant he stood out from the crowd people thought he was Immortal just as a star seems neither to age nor to disappear his words were like his presence fascinating diverse strange no meaning unclear such is the power you can command by transforming yourself into a glittering object Andy Warhol too obsessed everyone who knew him he had a distinctive style those silver wigs and his face was blank and mysterious people never knew what he was thinking like his paintings he was pure surface and the quality of their presence Warhol and Saint-Germain recall the great Trump Dai paintings of the 17th century or the prince of M.C Escher fascinating mixtures of realism and impossibility which make people wonder if they are real or imaginary a star must stand out and this may involve a certain dramatic Flair of the kind that Dietrich revealed in her appearances at parties sometimes though a more haunting dreamlike effect can be created by subtle touches the way you smoke a cigarette a vocal inflection a way of walking it's often the little things that get under people's skin and make them imitate you the lock of hair over Veronica Lake's right eye Cary Grant's voice Kennedy's ironic smile although these nuances May barely register to the conscious mind subliminally they can be as attractive as an object with a striking shape or odd color unconsciously we are strangely drawn to things that have no meaning beyond their fascinating appearance stars make us want to know more about them you must learn to stir people's curiosity by letting them Glimpse something in your private life something that seems to reveal an element of your personality let them fantasize and imagine a trait that often triggers this reaction is a hint of spirituality which can be devilishly seductive like James Dean's interest in eastern philosophy and the occult hints of goodness and big-heartedness can have a similar effect stars are like the Gods on Mount Olympus who live for love and play the things you love people Hobbies animals reveal the kind of moral beauty that people like to see in a star exploit this Desire by showing people peaks of your private life the causes you fight for the person you are in love with for the moment another way Stars seduces by making us identify with them giving us a vicarious thrill this is what Kennedy did in his press conference about Truman in positioning himself as a Young Man wronged by an older man evoking an archetypal generational conflict he made young people identify with him the popularity in Hollywood movies of the figure of the disaffected wronged adolescent helped him here the key is to represent a type as Jimmy Stewart represented the quintessential middle American Cary Grant the smooth aristocrat people of your type will gravitate to you identify with you share your joy or pain the attraction must be unconscious conveyed not in your words but in your pose your attitude now more than ever people are insecure and their identities are in flux help them fix on a role to play in life and they will flock to identify with you simply make your type dramatic noticeable and easy to imitate the power you have in influencing people's sense of self in this matter is Insidious and profound remember everyone is a public performer people never know exactly what you think or feel they judge you on your appearance you are an actor and the most effective actors have an inner distance like Dietrich they can mold their physical presence as if they perceived it from the outside this inner distance fascinates us stars are playful about themselves always adjusting their image adapting it to the times nothing is more laughable than an image that was fashionable 10 years ago but isn't anymore stars must always renew their luster or face the worst possible fate Oblivion dangerous Stars create illusions that are pleasurable to see the danger is that people Tire of them the illusion no longer fascinates and turn to another star let this happen and you will find it very difficult to regain your place in the Galaxy you must keep all eyes on you at any cost do not worry about notoriety or about slurs on your image we are remarkably forgiving of Our Stars after the death of President Kennedy all kinds of unpleasant truths came to light about him the endless Affairs the addiction to risk and danger none of this diminished his appeal and in fact the public still considers him one of America's greatest precedents Errol Flynn faced many scandals including a notorious rape case they only enhanced His rakish image once people have recognized a star any kind of publicity even bad simply feeds the obsession of course you can go too far people like a star to have a Transcendent Beauty and too much human Frailty will eventually disillusion them but bad publicity is less of a danger than disappearing for too long or growing too distant you cannot haunt people's dreams if they never see you at the same time you cannot let the public get too familiar with you or let your image become predictable people will turn against you in an instant if you begin to bore them for boredom is the ultimate social evil perhaps the greatest danger Stars face is the endless attention they elicit obsessive attention can become disconcerting and worse as any attractive woman can attest it is tiring to be gazed at all the time and the effect can be destructive as is shown by the story of Marilyn Monroe the solution is to develop the kind of distance from yourself that Dietrich had take the attention and idolatry with a grain of salt and maintain a certain Detachment from them approach your own image playfully most important never become obsessed with the obsessive quality of people's interest in you in conclusion here are some further Reflections on the star a quotation by Eric Maria remark on Marlena Dietrich a cool bright face which didn't ask for anything which simply existed waiting it was an empty face he thought a face that could change with any wind of expression one could dream into it anything it was like a beautiful empty house waiting for carpets and pictures it had all possibilities it could become a palace or a brothel it depended on the one who filled it how limited by comparison was all that was already completed and labeled a quote by Andre Morrow Marlena Dietrich is not an actress like Sarah Bernhardt she is a myth like Friday from ovid's Metamorphoses when Pygmalion saw these women living such Wicked lives he was revolted by the many faults which Nature has implanted in the female sex and long lived a bachelor existence without any wife to share his home but meanwhile with marvelous Artistry he skillfully carved a snowy Ivory statue he made it Lovelier than any woman born and fell in love with his own creation the statue had all the appearance of a real girl so that it seemed to be alive to want to move did not modesty forbid so cleverly did his art conceal its art Pygmalion gazed in Wonder and in his heart There Rose a passionate love for this image of a human form often he ran his hands over the work feeling it to see whether it was flesh or Ivory and would not yet admit that Ivory was all it was kissed the statue and imagined that it kissed him back spoke to it and embraced it and thought he felt his fingers sink into the limbs he touched so that he was afraid lest a bruise appear where he had pressed the flesh sometimes he addressed it in flattering speeches sometimes brought the kind of presence that girls enjoy he dressed the limbs of his statue in woman's robes and put rings on its fingers long necklaces round its neck all this finery became the image well but it was no less lovely unadorned Pygmalion then placed the statue on a couch that was covered with cloths of Tyrion purple laid its head to rest on soft down pillows as if it could appreciate them and called it his bedfellow the Festival of Venus which is celebrated with the greatest pomp all through Cyprus was now in progress and Heifers their crooked horns gilded for the occasion had fallen at the altar as the ax struck their snowy necks smoke was rising from the incense when Pygmalion having made his offering stood by The Altar and timidly prayed saying if you Gods can give all things may I have as my wife I pray he did not dare to say the ivory Maiden but finished one like the ivory made however golden Venus present at her Festival in person understood what his prayers meant and as a sign that the gods were kindly disposed the Flames burned up three times shooting a tongue of fire into the air when Pygmalion returned home he made straight for the Statue of the girl he loved leaned over the couch and kissed her she seemed warm he laid his lips on hers again and touched her breast with his hands at his touch the ivory lost its hardness and grew soft a quote by John Hellman from the Kennedy Obsession the American Myth of JFK John F Kennedy brought to television news and photojournalism the component's most prevalent in the world of film star quality and Mythic story with his telegenic looks skills at self-presentation heroic fantasies and creative intelligence Kennedy was brilliantly prepared to project a major screen persona he appropriated the discourses of mass culture especially of Hollywood and transferred them to the news by this strategy he made the news like dreams and like the movies a realm in which images played out scenarios that accorded with the viewers deepest yearnings never appearing in an actual film but rather turning the television apparatus into his screen he became the greatest movie star of the 20th century a quote from Edgar Moran's the Stars but we have seen that considered as a total phenomenon the history of the Stars repeats in its own proportions the history of the Gods before the gods before the Stars the mythical Universe the screen was peopled with specters or Phantoms endowed with the glamor and magic of the double several of these presences have progressively assumed body and substance have taken form Amplified and flowered into gods and goddesses and even a certain major gods of the ancient pantheons metamorphosed themselves into hero gods of Salvation the star goddesses humanize themselves and become new mediators between the Fantastic world of dreams and man's daily life on Earth the heroes of the movies are in an obviously attenuated way mythological heroes in this sense of becoming Divine the star is the actor or actress who absorbs some of the heroic I.E divinized and Mythic substance of the hero or heroine of the movies and who in turn enriches this substance by his or her own contribution when we speak of the myth of the star we mean first of all the process of demonization which the movie actor undergoes a process that makes him the idol of crowds a quote from JP Mayer's British Cinemas and their audiences age 22 sex female nationality British profession medical student quote Deanna Durbin became my first and only screen Idol I wanted to be as much like her as possible both in my manners and clothes whenever I was to get a new dress I would find from my collection a particularly nice picture of Deanna and ask for a dress like she was wearing I did my hair as much like hers as I could manage if I found myself in any annoying or aggravating situation I found myself wondering what Deanna would do and modified my own reactions accordingly age 26 sex female nationality British I only fell in love once with a movie actor it was Conrad White his magnetism and his personality got me his voice and gestures fascinated me I hated him feared him loved him when he died it seemed to me that a vital part of my imagination died too and my world of Dreams was Bare a quote by George Bernard Shaw The Savage worships Idols of wood and stone the Civilized man Idols of flesh and blood a quote by IBN hazam from The Ring of the dove A Treatise on the art and practice of Arab love when the eyes raise encounter some clear well-polished object be it burnished steel or glass or water a brilliant stone or any other polished and gleaming substance having luster glitter and Sparkle those rays of the eye are reflected back and the Observer then beholds himself and obtains an ocular vision of his own person this is what you see when you look into a mirror in that situation you are as it were looking at yourself Through The Eyes of another a quote from Jean border yard's seduction the only important constellation of collective seduction produced by modern times is that of film stars or Cinema idols they were our only myth in an age incapable of generating great myths or figures of Seduction comparable to those of Mythology or art the Cinema's power lives in its myth stories its psychological portraits its imagination or realism the meaningful Impressions it leaves these are all secondary only the myth is powerful and at the heart of the cinematographic myth lies Seduction That of the renowned seductive figure a man or woman but above all a woman linked to the ravishing but specious power of the cinematographic image itself the star is by no means an ideal or Sublime being she is artificial her presence serves to submerge all sensibility and expression beneath a ritual fascination with the void beneath Ecstasy of her gaze and the nullity of her smile this is how she achieves mythical status and becomes subject to Collective rights of sacrificial adulation the Ascension of the cinema Idols the masses divinities was and remains a central story of modern times there is no point in dismissing it as merely the dreams of mystified masses it is a seductive occurrence to be sure seduction in the age of the masses is no longer like that of Le liaison dangerous or the seducer's diary nor for that matter like that found in ancient mythology which undoubtedly contains the story's richest in seduction in these seduction is hot while that of our modern Idols is cold being at the intersection of two cold mediums that of the image and that of the masses the great stars or seductresses never dazzle because of their talent or intelligence but because of their absence they are dazzling in their nullity and in their coldness the coldness of makeup and ritual heraticism these great seductive Effigies are our masks our eastern island statues a quote from Andy Warhol if you want to know all about Andy Warhol just look at the surface of my paintings and films and me and there I am there's nothing behind it the anti-seducer seducers draw you in by the focused individualized attention they pay to you anti-seducers are the opposite insecure self-absorbed and unable to grasp the psychology of another person they literally repel anti-seducers have no self-awareness and never realize when they are pestering imposing talking too much they lack the subtlety to create the promise of pleasure that seduction requires root out anti-seductive qualities in yourself and recognize them in others there is no pleasure or profit in dealing with the anti-seducer typology of the anti-seducers anti-seducers come in many shapes and kinds but almost all of them share a single attribute the source of their repellents insecurity we are all insecure and we suffer for it yet we are able to surmount these feelings at times a seductive engagement can bring us out of our usual self-absorption and to the degree that we seduce or are seduced we feel charged and confident anti-seducers however are insecure to such a degree that they cannot be drawn into the seductive process their needs their anxieties their self-consciousness close them off they interpret the slightest ambiguity on your part as a slight to their ego they see the merest hint of withdrawal as a betrayal and are likely to complain bitterly about it it seems easy anti-seducers repel so be repelled avoid them unfortunately however many anti-seducers cannot be detected as such at first glance they are more subtle and unless you're careful they will ensnare you in a most unsatisfying relationship you must look for Clues to their self-involvement and insecurity perhaps they are ungenerous or they argue with unusual tenacity or are excessively judgmental perhaps they lavish you with undeserved praise declaring their love before knowing anything about you or more important they pay no attention to details since they cannot see what makes you different they cannot surprise you with nuanced attention it is critical to recognize anti-seductive qualities not only in others but also in ourselves almost all of us have one or two of the anti-seducers qualities latent in our character and to the extent that we can consciously root them out we become more seductive a lack of generosity for instance need not signal an anti-seducer if it is a person's only fault but an ungenerous person is seldom truly attractive seduction implies opening yourself up even if only for the purposes of deception being unable to give by spending money usually means being unable to give in general stamp on generosity out it is an impediment to power and a gross sin in seduction it is best to disengage from anti-seducers early on before they sink their needy tentacles into you so learn to read the signs these are the main types The Brute if seduction is a kind of ceremony or ritual part of the pleasure is its duration the time it takes the waiting that increases anticipation brutes have no patience for such things they are concerned only with their own pleasure never with yours to be patient is to show that you are thinking of the other person which never fails to impress impatience has the opposite effect assuming you are so interested in them you have no reason to wait brutes offend you with their egotism underneath that egotism too there is often annoying sense of inferiority and if you spread them or make them wait they overreact if you suspect you're dealing with a brute do a test make that person wait his or her response will tell you everything you need to know the suffocator suffocators fall in love with you before you're even half aware of their existence the trait is deceptive you might think they have found you overwhelming but the fact is they suffer from an inner void a deep well of need that cannot be filled never get involved with suffocators they are almost impossible to free yourself from without trauma they cling to you until you are forced to pull back whereupon they smother you with guilt we tend to idealize a loved one but Love Takes Time to develop recognize suffocators by how quickly they adore you you be so admired may give a momentary boost to your ego but deep inside you sense that their intense emotions are not related to anything you have done trust these instincts a sub-variant of the suffocator is the doormat a person who slavishly imitates you spot these types early on by seeing whether they are capable of having an idea of Their Own an inability to disagree with you is a bad sign the moralizer seduction is a game and should be undertaken with a light Heart All is fair and love and seduction morality never enters the picture the character of the moralizer however is rigid these are people who follow fixed ideas and try to make you bend to their standards they want to change you to make you a better person so they endlessly criticize and judge that is their pleasure in life in truth their moral ideas stem from their own unhappiness and mask their desire to dominate those around them their inability to adapt and to enjoy makes them easy to recognize their mental rigidity may also be accompanied by a physical stiffness it's hard not to take their criticisms personally so it is better to avoid their presence and their poisoned comments the tight wad cheapness signals more than a problem with money it is a sign of something constricted in a person's character something that keeps them from letting go or taking a risk it is the most anti-seductive trait of all and you cannot allow yourself to give into it most tight wads don't realize they have a problem they actually imagine that when they give someone some paltry crumb they are being generous take a hard look at yourself you are probably cheaper than you think try giving more freely of both your money and yourself and you will see the seductive potential in selective generosity of course you must keep your generosity under control giving too much can be a sign of desperation as if you were trying to buy someone the bumbler bumblers are self-conscious and their self-consciousness heightens your own at first you may think they're thinking about you and so much so that it makes them awkward in fact they are only thinking of themselves worrying about how they look or about the consequences for them of their attempt to seduce you their worry is usually contagious soon you are worrying too about yourself bumblers rarely reach the final stages of a seduction but if they get that far they bungle that too in seduction the key weapon is boldness refusing the target the time to stop and think bumblers have no sense of timing you might find it amusing to try to train or educate them but if they're still bumblers past a certain age the case is probably hopeless they are incapable of getting outside themselves the windbag the most effective seductions are driven by looks indirect actions physical lures words have a place but too much talk will generally break the spell heightening surface differences and weighing things down people who talk a lot most often talk about themselves they have never acquired that inner voice that wonders am I boring you to be a windbag is to have a deep-rooted selfishness never interrupt or argue with these types that only fuels their wind baggery at all costs learn to control your own tongue the reactor reactors are far too sensitive not to you but to their own egos they comb your every word and action for signs of a slight to their vanity if you strategically back off as you sometimes must in seduction they will brood and lash out at you they are prone to whining and complaining to very anti-seductive traits test them by telling a gentle joke or story at their expense we should all be able to laugh at ourselves a little but the reactor cannot you can read the resentment in their eyes erase any reactive qualities in your own character they unconsciously repel people the vulgarian vulgarians are inattentive to the details that are so important in seduction you can see this in their personal appearance their clothes are tasteless by any standard and in their actions they do not know that it's sometimes better to control oneself and refuse to give in to one's impulses bulgarians will blab saying anything in public they have no sense of timing and are rarely in harmony with your tastes indiscretion is a sure sign of the vulgarian talking to others of your Affair for example it may seem impulsive but its real source is their radical selfishness their inability to see themselves as others see them more than just avoiding vulgarians you must make yourself their opposite tact style and attention to detail are all basic requirements of a Seducer examples of the anti-seducer one Claudius the step-grandson of the great Roman Emperor Augustus was considered something of an imbecile as a young man and was treated badly by almost everyone in his family his nephew Caligula who became emperor in 37 A.D made it a sport to torture him making him run around the palace at top speed as Penance for his stupidity having soiled sandals tied to his hands at supper and so on as Claudius Grew Older he seemed to become even more slow-witted and while all of his relatives lived under the constant threat of assassination he was left alone so it came as a great surprise to everyone including Claudius himself that when in 41 A.D a cabal of soldiers assassinated Caligula they also proclaimed Claudius emperor having no desire to rule he delegated most of the governing to confidants a group of freed slaves and spent his time doing what he loved best eating drinking gambling and whoring claudius's wife Valeria messalina was one of the most beautiful women in Rome although he seemed fond of her Claudius paid her no attention and she started to have affairs At first she was discreet but over the years provoked by her husband's neglect she became more and more debauched she had a room built for her in the palace where she entertained scores of men doing her best to imitate the most notorious prostitute in Rome whose name was written on the door any man who refused her advances was put to death almost everyone in Rome knew about these frolics but Claudius said nothing he seemed oblivious so great was messalina's passion for her favorite lover Gaius cilius that she decided to marry him although both of them were married already while Claudius was away they held a wedding ceremony authorized by a marriage contract that Claudius himself had been tricked into signing after the ceremony Gaius moved into the palace now the shock and disgust of the whole city finally forced Claudius into action and he ordered the execution of Gaius and of messalina's other lovers but not of messalina herself nevertheless a gang of soldiers inflamed by the Scandal hunted her down and stabbed her to death when this was reported to the emperor he merely ordered more wine and continued his meal several nights later to the amazement of his slaves he asked why the empress wasn't joining him for dinner nothing is more infuriating than being paid no attention in the process of seduction you may have to pull back at times subjecting your target to moments of doubt but prolonged inattention will not only break the seductive spell it can create hatred Claudius was an extreme of this Behavior his insensitivity was created by necessity in acting like an imbecile he hid his ambition and protected himself among dangerous competitors but the insensitivity became second nature Claudius grew slovenly and no longer noticed what was going on around him his inattentiveness had a profound effect on his wife how she wondered can a man especially a physically unappealing man like Claudius not notice me or care about my affairs with other men but nothing she did seemed to matter to him Claudius marks the extreme but the spectrum of inattention is wide a lot of people pay too little attention to the details the signals another person gives their senses are dulled by work by hardship by self-absorption we often see this turning off the seductive charge between two people notably between couples who have been together for years carried further it will stir angry bitter feelings often the one who has been cheated on by a partner started the dynamic by patterns of inattention two in 1639 a French army besieged and took possession of the Italian city of Turin two French officers the Chevalier later count de gramo and his friend Mata decided to turn their attention to the city's beautiful women the wives of some of turin's most illustrious men were more than susceptible their husbands were busy and kept mistresses of their own the wives only requirement was that The Suitor play by the rules of gallantry the Chevalier and Mata were quick to find Partners the Chevalier choosing the beautiful Mademoiselle de San German who was soon to be betrothed and Mata offering his services to an older and more experienced woman Madame de cenont the Chevalier took to wearing green Mata blue these being their ladies favorite colors on the second day of their courtships the couples visited a palace outside the city the Chevalier was all charm making Mademoiselle de Saint germa laugh uproariously at his witticisms but Mata didn't fare so well he had no patience for this gallantry business and when he and Madame de cenount took a stroll he squeezed her hand and boldly declared his affections the lady of course was aghast and when they got back to Turin she left without looking at him unaware that he had offended her Mata imagined that she was overcome with emotion and felt rather pleased with himself but the Chevalier de grimo wondering why the pair had parted visited Madame de cenault and asked her how it went she told him the truth Mata had dispensed with the formalities and was ready to bed her the Chevalier laughed and thought to himself how differently he would manage Affairs if he were the one wooing the lovely madame over the next few days Mata continued to misread the signs he did not pay a visit to madanda senon's husband as custom required he didn't wear her colors when the two went riding together he went chasing after hairs as if they were the more interesting prey and when he took snuff he failed to offer her some meanwhile he continued to make his over forward advances finally Madame had had enough and complained to him directly Mata apologized he had not realized his errors moved by his apology the lady was more than ready to resume the courtship but a few days later after a few trifling stabs at wooing Mata once again assumed that she was ready for bed to his dismay she refused him as before I do not think that women can be mightily offended Mata told the Chevalier it's one sometimes leaves off trifling to come to the point but Madame senant would have nothing more to do with him and the Chevalier de gramo seeing an opportunity he could not pass by took advantage of her displeasure by secretly courting her properly and eventually winning the favors that Mata had tried to force there is nothing more anti-seductive than feeling that someone has assumed that you are theirs that you cannot possibly resist them the slightest appearance of this kind of conceit is deadly to seduction you must prove yourself take your time win your Target's heart perhaps you fear that he or she will be offended by a slower Pace or will lose interest it is more likely however that your fear reflects your own insecurity and insecurity is always anti-seductive in truth the longer you take the more you show the depth of your interest and the deeper the spell you create in a world of few formalities and ceremony seduction is one of the few remnants from the past that retains the ancient patterns it is a ritual and its rights must be observed haste reveals not the depth of your feelings but the degree of your self-absorption it may be possible sometimes to hurry someone into love but you will only be repaid by the lack of pleasure this kind of love affords if you're naturally impetuous do what you can to disguise it strangely enough the effort you spend on holding yourself back may be read by your target is deeply seductive three in Paris in the 1730s lived a young man named makur who was just of an age to have his first affair his mother's friend Madame de lourse a widow of around 40 was beautiful and Charming but had a reputation for being Untouchable as a boy makur had been infatuated with her but never expected his love would be returned so it was with great surprise and excitement that he realized that now that he was old enough madandalor says tender looks seemed to indicate a more than motherly interest in him for two months makur trembled in dolorse's presence he was afraid of her and didn't know what to do one evening they were discussing a recent play how well one character had declared his love to a woman Madame remarked noting makur's obvious discomfort she went on if I am not mistaken a declaration can only seem such an embarrassing matter because you yourself have one to make knew full well that she was the source of the young man's awkwardness but she was a tease you must tell me she said with whom you are in love finally makur confessed it was indeed Madame whom he desired his mother's friend advised him to not think of her that way a but she also sighed and gave him a long and languid look her words said one thing her eyes another perhaps she was not as Untouchable as he had thought as the evening ended though Madame de lorsay said she doubted his feelings would last and she left Young makor Troubled that she had said nothing about reciprocating his love over the next few days makur repeatedly asked de lorsay to declare her love for him and she repeatedly refused eventually the young man decided his cause was hopeless and gave up but a few nights later at a Soiree at her house her dress seemed more enticing than usual and her looks at him stirred his blood he returned them and followed her around while she took care to keep a bit of distance lest others sense what was happening yet she also managed to arrange that he could stay without a rousing suspicion when the other visitors left when they were finally alone she made him sit beside her on the sofa he could barely speak the silence was uncomfortable to get him talking she raised the same old subject his youth would make his love for her a passing fancy instead of denying it he looked dejected and continued to keep a polite distance so that she finally exclaimed with obvious irony if it were known that you were here with my consent that I had voluntarily arranged it with you what might not people say and yet how wrong they would be for no one could be more respectful than you are goaded into action makor grabbed her hand and looked her in the eye she blushed and told him he should go the way she arranged herself on the sofa and looked back at him suggested he should do the opposite yet makura still hesitated she had told him to go and if he disobeyed she might cause a scene and might never forgive him he would have made a fool of himself and everyone including his mother would hear of it he soon got up apologizing for his momentary boldness are astonished and somewhat cold look meant he had indeed gone too far he imagined and he said goodbye and left makur and Madame de lorsay appear in the novel The Wayward head and heart written in 1738 by Creve who based his characters on Libertines he knew in the France of the time for krebi young fees seduction is all about signs about being able to send them and read them this is not because sexuality is repressed and requires speaking in code it is rather because wordless communication through clothes gestures and actions is the most pleasurable exciting and seductive form of language 's novel Madame de lorsay is an ingenious seductress who finds it exciting to initiate young men but even she cannot overcome the youthful stupidity of makur who is incapable of reading her signs because he is absorbed in his own thoughts later in the story she does manage to educate him but in real life there are many who cannot be educated they're too literal and insensitive to the details that contain seductive power they do not so much repel as irritate and infuriate You by their constant misinterpretations always viewing life from behind the screen of their ego and unable to see things as they really are makur is so caught up in himself he cannot see that Madame is expecting him to make the Bold move to which she will have to succumb his hesitation shows that he's thinking of himself not of her that he is worrying about how he will look not feeling overwhelmed by her charms nothing could be more anti-seductive recognize such types and if they're past the young age that would give them an excuse do not entangle yourself in their awkwardness they will infect you with doubt 4. in the heian court of late 10th Century Japan the young nobleman kauru purported son of the great Seducer Genji himself had had nothing but Misfortune in love he had become infatuated with a young princess who lived in a dilapidated home in the countryside her father having fallen on Hard Times then one day he had an encounter with oyigimi's sister nakanokimi that convinced him she was the one he actually loved confused he returned to court and didn't visit the sisters for some time then their father died followed shortly thereafter by oigimi herself now Kaoru realized his mistake he had loved oyigimi all along and she had died out of Despair that he did not care for her he would never meet her like again she was all he could think about when nakanokimi her father and sister dead came to live at court kauru had the house where oigimi and her family had lived turned into a shrine one day nakanokimi seeing The Melancholy into which kauru had fallen told him that there was a third sister who resembled his beloved oigimi and lived hidden away in the countryside came to life perhaps he had a chance to redeem himself to change the past but how could he meet this woman there came a time when he visited the shrine to pay his respects to The Departed oigimi and heard that the mysterious tsuki fune was there as well agitated and excited he managed to catch a glimpse of her through the crack and a door the sight of her took his breath away although she was a plain looking country girl and kauru's eyes she was the living incarnation of oyigimi her voice meanwhile was like the voice of nakanokimi whom he had loved as well tears welled up in his eyes a few months later Kaoru managed to find a house in the mountains where ukifune lived he visited her there and she did not disappoint I once had a glimpse of you through a crack in a door he told her and you have been very much on my mind ever since then he picked her up in his arms and carried her to a waiting carriage he was taking her back to the shrine and the journey there brought back to him the image of oigimi again his eyes clouded with tears looking at ukifune he silently compared her to oigimi her clothes were less nice but she had beautiful hair when oigimi was alive she and kauru had played the Koto together so once at The Shrine he had kotos brought out ukifune did not play as well as oigimi had and her manners were less refined not to worry he would give her lessons change her into a lady but then as he had done with oigimi kauru returned to court leaving ukifune languishing at The Shrine some time passed before he visited her again she had improved was more beautiful than before but he couldn't stop thinking of oyigimi once again he left her promising to bring her to court but more weeks passed and finally he received the news that ukifune had disappeared last seen heading toward a river she had most likely committed suicide at the funeral ceremony for ukifune kauru was racked with guilt why had he not come for her earlier she deserved a better fate kauru and the others appear in the 11th century Japanese novel The Tale of Genji by the noblewoman Murasaki shikibu the characters are based on people the author knew but kauru's type appears in every culture and period these are men and women who seem to be searching for an ideal partner the one they have is never quite right at first glance a person excites them but they soon see faults and when a new person crosses their path he or she looks better and the first person is forgotten these types often try to work on the imperfect mortal who has excited them to improve them culturally and morally but this proves extremely unsatisfactory for both parties the truth about this type is not that they are searching for an ideal but that they are hopelessly unhappy with themselves you may mistake their dissatisfaction for a perfectionist's high standards but in point of fact nothing will really satisfy them for their unhappiness is deep rooted you can recognize them by their past which will be littered with short-lived stormy romances also they will tend to compare you to others and to try to remake you you may not realize at first what you've gotten into but people like this will eventually prove hopelessly anti-seductive because they cannot see your individual qualities cut the romance off before it happens these types are closet sadists and will torture you with their unreachable goals five in 1762 in the city of Turin Italy Giovanni Giacomo Casanova made the acquaintance of one count a b a Milanese gentleman who seemed to like him enormously the count had fallen on hard times and Casanova lent him some money in gratitude the count invited Casanova to stay with him and his wife in Milan his wife he said was from Barcelona and was admired far and wide for her beauty he showed Casanova her letters which had an intriguing wit Casanova imagined her as a prize worth seducing he went to Milan arriving at the house of count a b Casanova found that the Spanish lady was certainly beautiful but that she was also quiet and serious something about her bothered him as he was unpacking his clothes the Countess saw a stunning red dress trimmed with Sable among his belongings it was a gift Casanova explained for any Milanese lady who won his heart the following evening at dinner the Countess was suddenly more friendly teasing and bantering with Casanova she described the dress as a bribe he would use it to persuade a woman to give in to him on the contrary said Casanova he only gave gifts afterward as tokens of his appreciation that evening in a carriage on the way back from the Opera she asked him if a wealthy friend of hers could buy the dress and when he said no she was clearly vexed sensing her game Casanova offered to give her the Sable dress if she was kind to him this only made her angry and they quarreled finally Casanova had had enough for the countess's moods he sold the dress for 15 000 francs to her wealthy friend who in turn gave it to her as she had planned all along but to prove his lack of interest in money Casanova told the Countess he would give her the fifteen thousand francs no strings attached you are a very bad man she said but you can stay you amuse me she resumed her coquettish manner but Casanova was not fooled it is not my fault Madame if your Charms have so little power over me he told her here are fifteen thousand francs to console you laid the money on a table and walked out leaving the Countess fuming and vowing revenge when Casanova first met the Spanish lady two things about her repelled him first her Pride rather than engaging in the give and take of seduction she demanded a man's subjugation Pride can reflect self-assurance signaling that you will not abase yourself before others just as often though it stems from an inferiority complex which demands that others abase themselves before you seduction requires an openness to the other person a willingness to bend and adapt excessive Pride without anything to justify it is highly anti-seductive the second quality that disgusted Casanova was the countess's greed her coquettish little games were designed only to get the dress she had no interest in Romance for Casanova seduction was a lighthearted game that people played for their Mutual Amusement in his scheme of things it was fine if a woman wanted money and gifts as well he could understand that desire and he was a generous man but he also felt that this was a desire a woman should disguise she should create the impression that what she was after was pleasure the person who is obviously angling for money or other material reward can only repel if that is your intention if you are looking for something other than pleasure for money for power never show it the suspicion of an ulterior motive is anti-seductive never let anything break the illusion six in 1868 Queen Victoria of England hosted her first private meeting with the country's new Prime Minister William Gladstone she had met him before and knew his reputation as a moral absolutist but this was to be a ceremony an exchange of pleasantries Gladstone however had no patience for such things at that first meeting he explained to the queen his theory of royalty the queen he believed had to play an exemplary role in England a role she had lately failed to live up to for she was overly private this lecture set a bad tone for the future and things only got worse soon Victoria was receiving letters from Gladstone addressing the subject in even greater depth half of them she never bothered to read and soon she was doing everything she could to avoid contact with the leader of her government if she had to see him she made the meeting as brief as possible to that end she never allowed him to sit down in her presence hoping that a man his age would soon tire and leave for once he got going on a subject dear to his heart he did not notice your look of disinterest or the tears in your eyes from yawning his memoranda on even the simplest of issues would have to be translated into plain English for her by a member of her staff worst of all Gladstone argued with her and his arguments had a way of making her feel stupid she soon learned to nod her head and appear to agree with whatever abstract point he was trying to make in a letter to her secretary referring to herself in the third person she wrote she always felt in Gladstone's Manner and overbearing obstinacy and imperiousness which she never experienced from anyone else and which she found most disagreeable over the years these feelings hardened into an unwaning hatred as the head of the Liberal Party Gladstone had a nemesis benjamined Israeli the head of the conservative party he considered Disraeli a moral a devilish Jew at one session of parliament Gladstone tore into his rival scoring point after Point as he described where his opponent's policies would lead growing angry as he spoke has usually happened when he talked of it Israeli he pounded the speaker's table with such force that pens and papers went flying through all this Disraeli seemed half asleep when Gladstone had finished he opened his eyes Rose to his feet and calmly walked up to the table the right honorable gentleman he said has spoken with much passion much eloquence and much um violence then after a drawn-out pause he continued but the damage can be repaired and he proceeded to gather up everything that had fallen from the table and put them back in place the speech that followed was all the more masterful for its calm and ironic contrast to Gladstones the members of parliament were Spellbound and all of them agreed he had won the day if Disraeli was the consummate social Seducer and charmer Gladstone was the anti-seducer of course he had supporters mostly among the more puritanical elements of society he twice defeated Disraeli in a general election but he found it hard to broaden his appeal beyond the circle of Believers women in particular found him insufferable of course they had no vote at the time so they were little political liability but Gladstone had no patience for a feminine point of view a woman he felt had to learn to see things as a man did and it was his purpose in life to educate those he felt were irrational or abandoned by God it did not take long for Gladstone to wear on anyone's nerves that is the nature of people who are convinced of some truth but have no patience for a different perspective or for dealing with someone else's psychology these types are bullies and in the short term they often get their way particularly among the less aggressive but they stir up a lot of resentment and unspoken antipathy which eventually trips them up people see through their righteous moral stance which is most often a cover for a power play morality is a form of power a Seducer never seeks to persuade directly never parades his or her morality never lectures or imposes everything is subtle psychological and indirect uses of anti-seduction the best way to avoid entanglements with anti-seducers is to recognize them right away and give them a wide birth but they often deceive us involvements with these types are painful and are hard to disengage from because the more emotional response you show the more engaged you seem to be don't get angry that may only encourage them or exacerbate their anti-seductive Tendencies instead act distant and indifferent pay no attention to them make them feel how little they matter to you the best antidote to an anti-seducer is often to be anti-seductive yourself Cleopatra had a devastating effect on every man who crossed her path Octavius the future Emperor Augustus and the man who would defeat and Destroy Cleopatra's lover Mark Antony was well aware of her power and defended himself against it by being always extremely amiable with her courteous to the extreme but never showing the slightest emotion whether of Interest or dislike in other words he treated her as if she were any other woman facing this front she could not sink her hooks into him Octavius made anti-seduction his defense against the most irresistible woman in history remember seduction is a game of attention of slowly filling the other person's mind with your presence distance and inattention will create the opposite effect and can be used as a tactic when the need arises finally if you really want to anti-seduce Simply feign the qualities listed at the beginning of the chapter nag talk a lot particularly about yourself dress against the other person's tastes pay no attention to detail suffocate and so on a word of warning with the arguing type the windbag never talk back too much words will only fan the Flames adopt the Queen Victoria strategy nod seem to agree then find an excuse to cut the conversation short this is the only defense in conclusion here are some further Reflections on the anti-seducer a quote from the book of the courtier by baldasara castillione count lodovico then remarked with a smile I promise you that our sensible courtier will never act so stupidly to gain a woman's favor cesare Gonzaga replied nor so stupidly as the gentleman I remember of some repute whom to spare men's blushes I don't wish to mention by name well at least tell us what he did said the duchess then cesare continued he was loved by a very great lady and at her request he came secretly to the town where she was after he had seen her and enjoyed her company for as long as she would let him in the time he sighed and wept bitterly to show the anguish he was suffering and having to leave her and he begged her never to forget him and then he added that she should pay for his lodging at the Inn since it was she who had sent for him and he thought it only right therefore that he shouldn't be involved in any expense over the journey at this all the ladies began to laugh and to say that the man concerned hardly deserved the name of gentlemen and many of the men felt as ashamed as he should have been had he ever had the sense to recognize such disgraceful behavior for what it was a quotation from how love is diminished by Andreas capayanus let us see now how love is diminished this happens through the easy accessibility of its consolations through ones being able to see and Converse lengthily with a lover through a Lover's unsuitable Garb and gate and by the sudden onset of poverty another cause of diminution of Love is the realization of the notoriety of one's lover and accounts of his miserliness bad character and general wickedness also any affair with another woman even if it involves no feelings of love is also diminished if a woman realizes that her lover is foolish and undiscerning or if she sees him going too far in demands of love giving no thought to his partner's modesty nor wishing to Pardon her blushes a faithful lover ought to choose the harshest Pains of Love rather than by his demands cause his partner embarrassment or take pleasure in spurning her modesty for one who thinks only of the outcome of his own pleasure and ignores the welfare of his partner should be called a traitor rather than a lover love also suffers decrease if the woman realizes that her lover is fearful in war or sees that he has no patience or is stained with the vice of Pride there is nothing which appears more appropriate to the character of any lover than to be clad in the adornment of humility utterly Untouched by the nakedness of pride then two the prolicity of a fool or a Madman often diminishes love there are many Keen to prolong their crazy words in the presence of a woman thinking that they please her if they employ foolish ill-judged language but in fact they are strangely deceived indeed he who thinks that his foolish Behavior pleases a wise woman suffers from the greatest Poverty of sense a quotation from ovids the art of love real men shouldn't primp their good looks keep pleasantly clean take exercise work up an outdoor tan make quite sure that your Toga fits and doesn't show Spots Don't lace your shoes too tightly or ignore any Rusty buckles or slop around in too large A fitting don't let some incompetent Barber ruin your looks both hair and beard demand expert attention keep your nails paired and dirt free don't let those long hairs sprout in your nostrils make sure your breath is never offensive avoid the rank male stench that wrinkles noses I was about to warn you women against rank goatish armpits and bristling hair on your legs but I'm not instructing hillbilly girls from the Caucasus or Michigan riverhoidens so what need to remind you not to let your teeth get all discolored through neglect or forget to wash your hands every morning you know how to brighten your complexion with powder add Rouge to a bloodless face skillfully Block in the crude outline of an eyebrow stick a patch on one Flawless cheek you don't shrink from lining your eyes with dark mascara or a touch of solution saffron but don't let your lover find all those jars and bottles on your Dressing Table the best makeup remains unobtrusive a face so thickly plastered with pancake it runs down your sweaty neck is bound to create repulsion and that goo from unwashed fleeces Athenian maybe but my dear the smell that's used for face cream avoid it when you have company don't dab stuff on your pimples don't start cleaning your teeth the results may be attractive but the process is sickening the quote from Eastern love Volume 2 the harlots abbreviary of schmendra but if like the winter cat upon the Hearth the lover clings when he is dismissed and cannot bear to go certain means must be taken to make him understand and these should be progressively Ruder and Ruder until they touch him to the quick of his flesh she should refuse him the bed and jeer at him and make him angry she should stir up her mother's enmity against him she should treat him with an obvious lack of Candor and spread herself in Long considerations about his ruin his departure should be openly anticipated his tastes and desires should be thwarted his poverty outraged she should let him see that she is in sympathy with another man she should blame him with harsh words on every occasion she should tell lies about him to her parasites she should interrupt his sentences and send him on frequent errands away from the house she should seek occasions of quarrel and make him the victim of a thousand domestic perfidies she should rack her brains to Vex him she should play with the glances of another in his presence and give herself up to reprehensible profligacy before his face she should leave the house as often as possible and let it be seen that she has no real need to do so all these means are good for showing a man the door a quote from Senor De brontom's lives of fair and Gallant ladies just as ladies do love men which be Valiant and bold under arms so likewise do they love such as be of like sort in love and the man which is cowardly and over and above respectful toward them will never win their good favor not that they would have them so overweening bold and presumptuous as that they should by main Force lay them on the floor but rather they desire in them a certain hearty modesty or perhaps better a certain modest Hardy hood for while themselves are not exactly wantants and will neither solicit a man nor yet actually offer their favors yet do they know well how to Rouse the appetites and passions and prettily Allure to the Skirmish in such wise that he which does not take occasion by the forelock and join encounter and that without the least awe of rank and greatness without a screw full of conscience or a fear of any sort of hesitation he verily is a fool and a spiritless poltroon and one which doth Merit to be forever abandoned of kind Fortune I have heard of two honorable gentlemen and comrades for the which two very honorable ladies and of by no means humble quality made tryst one day at Paris to go walking in a garden being come thither each lady did separate apart one from the other each alone with her own Cavalier each in a several alley of the garden that was so close covered in with a fair trellis of boughs as that daylight could really scarce penetrate there at all and the coolness of the place was very grateful now one of the twain was a bold man and well knowing how the party had been made for something else than merely to walk and take the air and judging by his lady's face which he saw to be all a fire that she had longings to taste other fare than the musketels that hung on the trellis and also by her hot wanton and wild speech he did promptly seize on so fair and opportunity so catching hold of her without the least ceremony he did lay her on a little couch that was there made of turf and clods of Earth and it very pleasantly work his will of her without her ever uttering a word but only Heavens sir what are you at surely you be the maddest and strangest fellow ever was if anyone comes whatever will they say great Heavens get out but the gentleman without disturbing himself did so well continue what he had begun that he did finish and she to boot with such content is that after taking three or four turns up and down the alley they did presently start afresh Anon coming forth into another open alley they did see in another part of the garden the other pair who were walking about together just as they had left them at first whereupon the lady while content did say to the gentleman in the like condition I verily believe so and so hath played the silly prude and hath given his lady no other entertainment but only words fine speeches and prominating afterward when all four were come together the two ladies did fall to asking one another how it had fared with each then the one which was well content did reply she was exceeding well indeed she was indeed for the nonce she could scarce be better the other which was Ill content did declare for her part she had had to do with the biggest fool and most coward lover she had ever seen and all the time the two gentlemen could see them laughing together as they walked and crying out oh the silly fool the shame-faced poltroon and coward at this the successful Gallant said to His companion hark to our ladies which to cry out at you and Mock You soar you will find you have overplayed the prude and Cox comb this bout so much did he allow but there was no more time to remedy his error for opportunity gave him no other handle to seize her by the seducers victims the 18 types the people around you are all potential victims of a seduction But first you must know what type of victim you're dealing with victims are categorized by what they feel they are missing in life Adventure attention romance a naughty experience mental or physical stimulation Etc once you identify their type you have the necessary ingredients for seduction you will be the one to give them what they lack and cannot get on their own in studying potential victims learn to see the reality behind the appearance a timid person may yearn to play the Star a prude May long for a transgressive thrill never try to seduce your own type victim Theory nobody in this world feels whole and complete we all sense some Gap in our character something we need or want but cannot get on our own when we fall in love it is often with someone who seems to fill that Gap the process is usually unconscious and depends on luck we wait for the right person to cross our path and when we fall for them we hope they return our love but the Seducer doesn't leave such things to chance look at the people around you forget their social exterior their obvious character traits look behind all of that focusing on the gaps the missing pieces in their psyche that is the raw material of any seduction pay close attention to their clothes their gestures their offhand comments the things in their house certain looks in their eyes get them to talk about their past particularly past romances slowly the outline of those missing pieces will come into view understand people are constantly giving out signals as to what they lack they long for completeness whether the illusion of it or the reality and if it has to come from another person that person has tremendous power over them we may call them victims of a seduction but they are almost always willing victims this chapter outlines the 18 types of victims each one of which has a dominant lack although your target May well reveal the qualities of more than one type there is usually a common need that ties them together perhaps you see someone as both a new prude and a crushed star but what is common to both is a feeling of repression and therefore a desire to be naughty along with a fear of not being able or daring enough in identifying your victim's type be careful to not be taken in by outward appearances both deliberately and unconsciously we often develop a social exterior designed specifically to disguise our weaknesses and Lacks for instance you may think you were dealing with someone who's tough and cynical without realizing that deep inside they have a soft sentimental core they secretly Pine for romance and unless you identify their type and the emotions beneath their toughness you lose the chance to truly seduce them most important expunge the nasty habit of thinking that other people have the same lacks you do you may crave comfort and security but in giving comfort and security to someone else on the Assumption they must want them as well you are more likely smothering and pushing them away never try to seduce someone who is of your own type you will be like two puzzles missing the same parts the 18 types the reformed rake or siren people of this type were once happy-go-lucky seducers who had their way with the opposite sex but the day came when they were forced to give this up someone corralled them into a relationship they were encountering too much Social hostility they were getting older and decided to settle down whatever the reason you can be sure they feel some resentment and a sense of loss as if a limb were missing we are always trying to recapture Pleasures we experienced in the past but the Temptation is particularly great for the reformed rake or siren because the pleasures they found in seduction were intense these types are ripe for the picking all that is required is that you cross their path and offer them the opportunity to resume their rakish or siren ways their blood will stir and the call of their youth will overwhelm them it is critical though to give these types the illusion that they are the ones doing the seducing with the reformed rake you must spark his interest indirectly then let him burn and glow with desire with the reformed siren you want to give her the impression that she still has the irresistible power to draw a man in and make him give up everything for her remember that what you're offering these types is not another relationship another constriction but rather the chance to escape the Corral and have some fun don't be put off if they are in a relationship a pre-existing commitment is often the perfect foil if hooking them into a relationship is what you want hide it as best you can and realize it may not be possible the rake or siren is Unfaithful by Nature your ability to spark the old feeling gives you power but then you will have to live with the consequences of their feckless ways the disappointed Dreamer as children these types probably spend a lot of time alone to entertain themselves they developed a powerful Fantasy Life fed by books and films and other kinds of popular culture and as they get older it becomes increasingly difficult to reconcile their Fantasy Life with reality and so they're often disappointed by what they get this is particularly true in relationships they have been dreaming of romantic Heroes of danger and excitement but what they have is lovers with human frailties the petty weaknesses of everyday life as the years pass they may Force themselves to compromise because otherwise they would have to spend their lives alone but beneath the surface they are bitter and still hungering for something Grand and romantic you can recognize this type by the books they read and films they go to the way their ears prick up when told of the real life adventures some people manage to live out in their clothes and Home Furnishings a taste for exuberant romance or drama will peek through they are often trapped in drab relationships and little comments here and there will reveal their disappointment and inner tension these types make for excellent and satisfying victims first they usually have a great deal of pent-up passion and energy which you can release and focus on yourself they also have great imaginations and will respond to anything vaguely mysterious or romantic that you offer them all you need do is disguise some of your less than exalted qualities and give them a part of their dream this could be the chance to live out their Adventures or be courted by a chivalrous Soul if you give them a part of what they want they will imagine the rest at all costs do not let reality break the illusion you are creating one moment of pettiness and they will be gone more bitterly disappointed than ever the Pampered Royal these people were the classic spoiled children all of their wants and desires were met by an adoring parent endless entertainments a parade of toys whatever kept them happy for a day or two where many children learn to entertain themselves inventing games and finding friends pampered Royals are taught that others will do the entertaining for them being spoiled they get lazy and as they get older and the parent is no longer there to pamper them they tend to feel quite bored and Restless their solution is to find pleasure in variety to move quickly from person to person job to job or place to place before boredom sets in they do not settle into relationships well because habit and routine of some kind are inevitable in such affairs but there's ceaseless Search for variety is tiring for them and comes with a price work problems strings of unsatisfying romances friends scattered across the globe do not mistake their restlessness and infidelity for reality with the Pampered Prince or princess is really looking for is one person that parental figure who will give them the spoiling they crave to seduce this type be ready to provide a lot of distraction new places to visit novel experiences color spectacle you will have to maintain an air of mystery continually surprising your target with a new side to your character variety is the key once pampered Royals are hooked things get easier for they will quickly grow dependent on you and you can put out less effort unless their childhood pampering has made them too difficult and lazy these types make excellent victims they will be as loyal to you as they once were to mommy or daddy but you will have to do much of the work if you're after a long relationship disguise it offer long-term security to a Pampered Royal and you will induce a panicked flight recognize these types by the turmoil in their past job changes travel short-term relationships and by the air of aristocracy no matter their social class that comes from Once being treated like royalty the new prude sexual prudory still exists but it is less common than it was prudery however is never just about sex a prude is someone who is excessively concerned with appearances with what Society considers appropriate and acceptable behavior prudes rigorously stay within the boundaries of correctness because more than anything they fear society's judgment seen in this light prudery is just as prevalent as it always was the new prude is excessively concerned with standards of goodness fairness political sensitivity tastefulness Etc what marks the new prude though as well as the old one is that deep down they are actually excited and intrigued by guilty transgressive pleasures frightened by this attraction they run in the opposite direction and become the most correct of all they tend to wear drab colors they certainly never take fashion risks they can be very judgmental and critical of people who do take risks and are less correct they are also addicted to routine which gives them a way to temp down their inner turmoil new prudes are secretly oppressed by their correctness and long to transgress just as sexual prudes make prime targets for a rake or siren the new prude will often be most tempted by someone with a dangerous or naughty side if you desire a new prude do not be taken in by their judgments of you or their criticisms that is only a sign of How Deeply you fascinate them you are on their mind you can often draw a new prude into a seduction in fact by giving them the chance to criticize you or even try to reform you take nothing of what they say to Heart of course but now you have the perfect excuse to spend time with them and new prudes can be seduced simply through being in contact with you these types actually make excellent and rewarding victims once you open them up and get them to let go of their correctness they are flooded with feelings and energies they may even overwhelm you perhaps they are in a relationship with someone as drab as they themselves seem to be do not be put off they are simply asleep waiting to be awakened the crushed star we all want attention we all want to shine but with most of us these desires are fleeting and easily quieted the problem with crushed stars is that at one point in their lives they did find themselves the center of attention perhaps they were beautiful charming and effervescent perhaps they were athletes or had some other Talent but those days are gone they may seem to have accepted this but the memory of having once shown is hard to get over in general the appearance of wanting attention of trying to stand out is not seen too kindly in polite Society or in the workplace so to get along crushed Stars learn to Tamp down their desires but failing to get the attention they feel they deserve they also become resentful you can recognize crushed Stars by certain unguarded moments they suddenly received some attention in a social setting and it makes them glow they mention their Glory Days and there is a little glint in the eye a little wine in the system and they become effervescent seducing this type is simple just make them the center of attention when you're with them act as if they were stars and you were basking in their glow get them to talk particularly about themselves in social situations mute your own colors and let them look funny and radiant by comparison in general play the charmer the reward of seducing crushed stars is that you stir up powerful emotions they will feel intensely grateful to you for letting them shine to whatever extent they had felt crushed and bottled up the easing of that pain releases intensity and passion all directed at you they will fall madly in love if you yourself have any star or Dandy Tendencies it is wise to avoid such victims sooner or later those Tendencies will come out and the competition between you will be ugly the novice what separates novices from ordinary innocent young people is that they are fatally curious they have little or no experience of the world but have been exposed to it second hand in newspapers films books finding their innocence a burden they long to be initiated into the ways of the world everyone sees them as so sweet and innocent but they know this isn't so they cannot be as Angelic as people think them seducing a novice is easy to do it well however it requires a bit of Art novices are interested in people with experience particularly people with a touch of corruption and evil make that touch too strong though and it will intimidate and frighten them what works best with a novice is a mix of qualities you are somewhat child like yourself with a playful spirit at the same time it is clear that you have hidden depths even Sinister ones this was the secret of Lord Byron's success with so many innocent women you are initiating your novices not just sexually but experientially exposing them to new ideas taking them to new places new worlds both literal and metaphoric do not make your seduction ugly or seedy everything must be romantic even including the evil and Dark Side of Life young people have their ideals it is best to initiate them with an aesthetic touch seductive language works wonders on novices as does attention to detail spectacles and colorful events appeal to their sensitive senses they are easily misled by these tactics because they lack the experience to see through them sometimes novices are a little older and have been at least somewhat educated in the ways of the world yet they put on a show of innocence for they see the power it has over older people these are koi novices aware of the game they're playing but novices they remain they may be less easily misled than purer novices but the way to seduce them is pretty much the same mix innocence and Corruption and you will Fascinate them the Conqueror these types have an unusual amount of energy which they find difficult to control they're always on the prowl for people to conquer obstacles to surmount you will not always recognize conquerors by their exterior they can seem a little shy in social situations and can have a degree of Reserve look not at their words or appearance but at their actions in work and in relationships they love power and by hook or by crook they get it conquerors tend to be emotional but their emotion only comes out in outbursts when pushed in matters of Romance the worst thing you can do with them is lie down and make yourself easy prey they may take advantage of your weakness but they will quickly discard you and leave you the worst for where you want to give conquerors a chance to be aggressive to overcome some resistance or obstacle before letting them think they have overwhelmed you you want to give them a good Chase being a little difficult or Moody using cocotry will often do the trick don't be intimidated by their aggressiveness and energy that is precisely what you can turn to your advantage to break them in keep them charging back and forth like a bull eventually they will grow weak independent as Napoleon became the slave of Josephine the Conqueror is generally male but there are plenty of female conquerors out there luandrea Salome and Natalie Barney are famous ones female conquerors will succumb to cocotry though just as the male Ones Will the Exotic fetishist most of us are excited and intrigued by the Exotic what separates exotic fetishists from the rest of us is the degree of this interest which seems to govern all their choices in life in truth they feel empty inside and have a strong dose of self-loathing they do not like wherever it is they come from their social class usually middle or upper and their culture because they do not like themselves these types are easy to recognize they like to travel their houses are filled with objects from far away places they fetishize the music or art of this or that foreign culture they often have a strong rebellious streak clearly the way to seduce them is to position yourself as exotic if you do not at least appear to come from a different background or race or to have some alien Aura you shouldn't even bother but it is always possible to play up what makes you exotic to make it a kind of theater for their Amusement your clothes the things you talk about the places you take them make a show of your difference exaggerate a little and they will imagine the rest because such types tend to be self-deluders exotic fetishists however do not make particularly good victims whatever exoticism you have will soon seem banal to them and they will want something else it will be a struggle to hold their interest their underlying insecurity will also keep you on edge one variation on this type is the man or woman who is trapped in a stultifying relationship a banal occupation a dead-end town it is circumstance as opposed to personal neuroses that makes such people fetishize the Exotic and these exotic fetishists are better victims than the self-loathing kind because you can offer them a temporary escape from whatever oppresses them nothing however will offer true exotic fetishists escape from themselves the drama queen there are people who cannot do without some constant drama in their lives it is their way of deflecting boredom the greatest mistake you can make in seducing these drama queens is to come offering stability and security that will only make them run for the hills most often drama queens and there are plenty of men in this category enjoy playing the victim they want something to complain about they want pain pain is a source of pleasure for them with this type you have to be willing and able to give them the mental rough treatment they desire that is the only way to seduce them in a deep manner the moment you turn too nice they will find some reason to quarrel or get rid of you you will recognize drama queens by the number of people who have hurt them the tragedies and traumas that have befallen them at the extreme they can be hopelessly selfish and anti-seductive but most of them are relatively harmless and will make fine victims if you can live with a Sturm and drawn if for some reason you want something long-term with this type you will constantly have to inject drama into your relationship for some this can be an exciting Challenge and a source for constantly renewing the relationship generally however you should see an involvement with a drama queen as something fleeting and a way to bring a little drama into your own life the professor these types cannot get out of the Trap of analyzing and criticizing everything that crosses their path their minds are overdeveloped and overstimulated even when they talk about love or sex it is with great thought and Analysis having developed their minds at the expense of their bodies many of them feel physically inferior and compensate by lording their mental superiority over others their conversation is often Rye or ironic you never quite know what they're saying but you sense them looking down on you they would like to escape their mental prisons they would like pure physicality without any analysis but they cannot get there on their own Professor types sometimes engage in relationships with other Professor types or with people they can treat as inferiors but deep down they long to be overwhelmed by someone with a physical presence a rake or a siren for instance professors can make excellent victims for underneath their intellectual strength lie gnawing insecurities make them feel like Don Juans or Sirens to even the slightest degree and they are your slaves many of them have a masochistic streak that will come out once you stir their dormant senses you are offering an escape from the mind so make it as complete as possible if you have intellectual Tendencies yourself hide them they will only stir your Target's competitive juices and get their minds turning let your professors keep their sense of mental superiority let them judge you you will know what they will try to hide that you are the one in control for you are giving them what no one else can give them physical stimulation the beauty from early on in life the beauty is gazed at by others their desire to look at her is the source of her power but also the source of much unhappiness she constantly worries that her powers are waning that she is no longer attracting attention if she's honest with herself she also senses that being worshiped only for one's appearance is monotonous and unsatisfying and lonely many men are intimidated by Beauty and prefer to worship it from afar others are drawn in but not for the purpose of conversation the beauty suffers from isolation because she has so many lacks the beauty is relatively easy to seduce and if done right you will have won not only a much prized catch but someone who will grow dependent on what you provide most important in this seduction is to validate those parts of the beauty that no one else appreciates her intelligence generally higher than people imagine her skills her character of course you must worship her body you cannot stir up any insecurities in the one area in which she knows her strength and the strength on which she most depends but you also must worship her mind and soul intellectual stimulation will work well on the beauty distracting her from her doubts and insecurities and making it seem that you value that side of her personality because the beauty is always being looked at she tends to be passive beneath her passivity though there often lies frustration the beauty would love to be more active and to actually do some chasing of her own a little coquettishness can work well here at some point in all your worshiping you might go a little cold inviting her to come after you train her to be more active and you will have an excellent victim the only downside is that her many insecurities require constant attention and care aging baby some people refuse to grow up perhaps they're afraid of death or of Growing Old perhaps they're passionately attached to the life they LED as children disliking responsibility they struggle to turn everything into play and Recreation in their 20s they can be Charming in their 30s interesting but by the time they reach their 40s they are beginning to wear thin contrary to what you might Imagine One aging baby does not want to be involved with another aging baby even though the combination might seem to increase the chances for play in frivolity the Aging baby doesn't want competition but an adult figure if you desire to seduce this type you must be prepared to be the responsible stayed one that may be a strange way of seducing but in this case it works you should appear to like the Aging baby's youthful Spirit it helps if you actually do can engage with it but you remain the indulgent adult by being responsible you free the baby to play act the loving adult to the hilt never judging or criticizing their behavior and a strong attachment will form aging babies can be amusing for a while but like all children they are often potently narcissistic this limits the pleasure you can have with them you should see them as short-term amusements or temporary outlets for your frustrated parental instincts The Rescuer we are often drawn to people who seem vulnerable or weak their sadness or depression can actually be quite seductive there are people however who take this much further who seem to be attracted only to people with problems this may seem Noble but Rescuers usually have complicated motives they often have sensitive natures and truly want to help at the same time solving people's problems gives them a kind of power they relish it makes them feel Superior and in control it is also the perfect way to distract them from their own problems you will recognize these types by their empathy they listen well and try to get you to open up and talk you will also notice they have histories of relationships with dependent and troubled people Rescuers can make excellent victims particularly if you enjoy chivalrous or maternal attention if you're a woman play the Damsel in Distress giving a man the chance to so many men long for to act the night if you are a man play the boy who cannot deal with this harsh World a female rescuer will envelop you in maternal attention gaining for herself the added satisfaction of feeling more powerful and in control than a man an air of sadness will draw either gender in exaggerate your weaknesses but not through overt words or gestures let them sense that you have had too little love that you have had a string of bad relationships that you have gotten a raw deal in life having lured your rescuer in with the chance to help you you can then stoke the relationship's fires with a steady supply of needs and vulnerabilities you can also invite moral rescue you are bad you have done bad things you need a Stern yet loving hand in this case The Rescuer gets to feel morally superior but also the vicarious thrill of involvement with someone naughty The Rue these types have lived the good life and experienced many Pleasures they probably have or once had a good deal of money to finance their hedonistic lives on the outside they tend to seem cynical and jaded but their worldliness often hides a sentimentality that they have struggled to repress rues are consummate seducers but there is one type that can easily seduce them The Young and the innocent as they get older they hanker after their lost youth missing their long-lost innocence they begin to covet it in others if you should want to seduce them you will probably have to be somewhat young and to have retained at least the appearance of Innocence it is easy to play this up make a show of how little experience you have in the world how you still see things as a child it is also good to seem to resist their advances Ruiz will think it Lively and exciting to chase you you can even seem to dislike or distrust them that will really spur them on by being the one who resists you control the dynamic and since you have the youth that they are missing you can maintain the upper hand and make them fall deeply in love they will often be susceptible to such a fall because they have tamped down their own romantic Tendencies for so long that when it bursts forth they lose control never give in too early and never let your guard down such types can be dangerous the idol worshiper everyone feels an inner lack but Idol worshipers have a bigger emptiness than most people they cannot be satisfied with themselves so they search the world for something to worship something to fill their inner void this often assumes the form of a great interest in spiritual matters or in some worthwhile cause by focusing on something supposedly elevated they distract themselves from their own void from what they dislike about themselves Idol worshipers are easy to spot they are the ones pouring their energies into some cause or religion they often move around over the years leaving one cult for another the way to seduce these types is to Simply become their object of worship to take the place of the cause or religion to which they are so dedicated at first you may have to seem to share their spiritual interest joining them in their worship or perhaps exposing them to a new cause eventually you will displace it with this type you have to hide your flaws or at least to give them a saintly Sheen bibana and Idol worshipers will pass you by but mirror the qualities they aspire to have for themselves and they will slowly transfer their adoration to you keep everything on an elevated plane let romance and religion flow into one keep two things in mind when seducing this type first they tend to have overactive Minds which can make them quite suspicious because they often lack physical stimulation and because physical stimulation will distract them give them some a mountain Trek a boat trip or sex will do the trick but this takes a lot of work for their minds are always ticking second they often suffer from low self-esteem do not try to raise it they will see through you and your efforts at praising them will clash with their own self-image they are to worship you you are not to worship them Idol worshipers make perfectly adequate victims in the short term but their endless need to search will eventually lead them to look for something new to adore the sensualist what marks these types is not their love of pleasure but their overactive senses sometimes they show this quality in their appearance their interest in fashion color Style but sometimes it is more subtle because they are so sensitive they are often quite shy and they will shrink from standing out or being flamboyant you will recognize them by how responsive they are to their environment how they cannot stand a room without sunlight are depressed by certain colors or excited by certain smells they happen to live in a culture that de-emphasizes sensual experience except perhaps for the sense of sight and so what the sensualist lacks is precisely enough sensual experiences to appreciate and relish the key to seducing them is to aim for their senses to take them to beautiful places pay attention to detail envelop them in spectacle and of course use plenty of physical lures sensualists like animals can be baited with colors and smells appeal to as many senses as possible keeping your targets distracted and weak seductions of sensualists are often easy and quick and you can use the same tactics again and again to keep them interested although it's wise to vary your sensual appeals somewhat in kind if not in quality that is how Cleopatra worked on Mark Anthony an inveterate sensualist these types make superb victims because they are relatively docile if you give them what they want the lonely leader powerful people are not necessarily different from everyone else but they are treated differently and this has a big effect on their personalities everyone around them tends to be fawning and courtier-like to have an angle to want something from them this makes them suspicious and distrustful and a little hard around the edges but do not mistake the appearance for the reality lonely leaders long to be seduced to have someone break through their isolation and overwhelm them the problem is that most people are too intimidated to try or use the kind of tactics flattery or Charm that they see through and despise to seduce such types it is better to act like they're equal or even their Superior the kind of treatment they never get if you are blunt with them you will seem genuine and they will be touched you care enough to be honest even perhaps at some risk being blunt with the powerful can be dangerous lonely leaders can be made emotional by inflicting some pain followed by tenderness this is one of the hardest types to seduce not only because they are suspicious but because their minds are burdened with cares and responsibilities they have less mental space for a seduction you will have to be patient and clever slowly filling their minds with thoughts of you succeed though and you can gain great power in turn for in their loneliness they will come to depend on you the floating gender all of us have a mix of the masculine and The Feminine in our characters but most of us learn to develop and exhibit the socially acceptable side while repressing the other people of the floating gender type feel that the separation of the Sexes into such distinct genders is a burden they are sometimes thought to be repressed or latent homosexuals but this is a misunderstanding they may well be heterosexual but they're masculine and feminine sides are influx and because this may discomfort others if they show it they learn to repress it perhaps by going to one extreme they would actually love to be able to play with their gender to give full expression to both sides many people fall into this type without its being obvious a woman may have a masculine energy a man a developed aesthetic side don't look for obvious signs because these types often go underground keeping it under wraps this makes them vulnerable to a powerful seduction what floating gender types are really looking for is another person of Uncertain gender they are counterpart from the opposite sex show them that in your presence and they can relax Express the repressed side of their character if you have such proclivities this is the one instance where it would be best to seduce the same type of the opposite sex each person will stir up repressed Desires in the other and will suddenly have license to explore all kinds of gender combinations without fear of judgment if you are not of the floating gender leave this type alone you will only inhibit them and create more discomfort