Across the broad expanse of history, there have been billions upon billions of idiots, as well as a handful of smart people. We interviewed some of the latter group for our ongoing series, Great Minds, People Who Think Good. This week's People Who Thinks Good, Jane Goodall.
In her twenties, Jane Goodall achieved her childhood dream to live with and study the chimpanzees in Africa to whom she gave exotic names. Hello Mike. At this point she had no formal training or even an undergraduate degree discoveries of this daring young woman revolutionized our understanding of these primates, starting with this bombshell.
The chimpanzee is actually modifying a natural object to suit it to a specific purpose, thus making a tool. That's right, chimps were making and using tools, albeit pretty crappy tools for a pretty disgusting purpose. But she also found something else. Chimpanzees, like humans, have a dark side to their nature. Yes, Goodall was also the first to show that these peaceful forest vegetarians...
were actually meat-eating assholes who frequently engaged in chimpy chimp on chimp chimp aside. After decades in the field, Goodale now spends her time traveling the world to fight for a variety of causes, with occasional interruptions to with a not so smart person. Dr Jane Goodall, thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me.
Well, thank you for inviting me. You are widely recognised as one of the great experts on chimpanzees. What makes them...
them particularly so fascinating to you? I think because they're so like us and you know we now know biologically we share 98 plus percent of our DNA with them, blood system, the immune system, the structure of the brain, it's all almost the same just our brain is bigger and then for me of course it's the behavior, the fact that they have personalities, they have emotions like happiness, sadness, fear, they communicate with kissing. embracing, holding hands, patting one another on the back, shaking the fist. They use tools.
Is that what makes them such great pets? They're the worst possible... They're not pets.
I can't even say they're bad pets because they're not pets. Well, I mean, they're nice acquaintances, housebound friends. They're not. And what happens?
They're very cute and sweet and cuddly when... they're little and what happens when they're five, six, seven and why do people have their face bitten off? Don't focus on that though, focus on the fact that when you dress them up they're so funny. No they're not.
What about a chimpanzee butler? No. At no point in your life have you ever thought about what it would be like to have a chimpanzee butler?
In your time living amongst chimpanzees, did you think about pulling out a little monocle and a top hat and a silver tray and training them to bring you a cold drink? No point did I think any such ridiculous thing. Did you ever put a hat on them? No. You never put a hat on a chimpanzee?
No. I refuse to believe that. Well then we shall disagree for the rest of our lives.
Okay, fair enough. Let's talk a little about your methods. I would- They were not without their initial criticisms. For instance, one point of contention was that you gave your chimps nicknames.
Why did people criticise that? Yeah, well, not nicknames, names. Just names. Just actual names? Yeah, well, to be scientific, I should have given them numbers.
What's the scientific argument for not giving them names? Because it's more objective. So if you give them a name, you're treating them like people. I'm going to throw some names at you, and I want you to say if you think they would be a good name for a chimp or a bad name for a chimp. Right?
Ready? Mm. Jessica Chimpson.
Dr Ben Annapiel, MD. Too long. Fair enough. How about this is a little simpler? Poo throw Wilson.
That's fine. Right? Yeah, that's fine.
OK, that's good. So you do... Poo throw somebody else.
Where are you going there? Poo throw at people that I think need poo thrown at them. Jane, who do you think needs poo thrown at them?
Well, I'll give an example. I mean, I'm going to pick somebody like Hitler because he's... He's gone.
Right. Puthrow Hitler. Great.
Puthrow Hitler is an amazing name for a chimp. Fantastic. Now, while you were living with them, you learnt that chimps had specific vocalisations. Can you tell me a little about that? Well, if I'm eating something, like, you know, and you want some, and you come up to me, you might beg, just like that.
Yeah. But I don't want to give you any, so... It's pretty obvious.
Ooh, ooh, ooh! No, you don't say that. You say, you say... Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, Jane, ooh, Jane, ooh, ooh, ooh, hey, ooh, ooh, ooh. Are you giving me any?
I don't like you. No, I can't hold it. I'll take a drink.
Dr Jane Quivel, thank you so much for taking the time. Thank you. It's an interesting feeling to get in there.
You're more than welcome. I should do it chink ways. I'm going...
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm!