Transcript for:
Leadership and Growth Insights

I think it starts with don't just do know where you want to go so if you know where you want to go and this can be for your company this can be for your personal goals this can be for a hobby or an athletic goal you have whatever it is you have to Define what that end goal looks like so that you can work backwards and I'm a huge believer in the rule of three for everything I can't remember more than three things like everything is about threes for me it's not just about getting everything done it's what are the three most important things I'm going to get done that are going to be towards the goals that are going to get me there the number one Health and Wellness podcast J shed J shett the one the only J shett you are a self-proclaimed highly caffeinated time hacker and I was like my team and everyone was like we want to be that tell us what that means oh I've gotten so much more calm in the last several several years but I'm definitely highly caffeinated that's for sure I think productivity is something I've naturally just had to get better at as a CEO and especially as a working mother I have an eight-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old daughter I've been building companies since I was 25 years old and had kids along the way and so honestly time is our most precious commodity and especially when you're a busy mom running business you have to be really mindful of that and so I feel like I've found every which way to time hack and I do think think that i' I'm a productivity expert for sure okay so we're going to need all of those tips and tools today for sure I think there's a lot of our audience that really wants to know how to use their time more wisely understand how to be more productive and effective but I want to start off by actually let's just dive into that let's talk about that like what did you used to believe time management was and now having been so effective for this many years what have you now come to the conclusion that what time management actually is freedom of dollar is what we all start to chase right and there's nothing wrong with that there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting financial success for yourself or your family and so freedom of dollar is something that when I started my journey that was one component of building the business but really it became about freedom of time even if you you have that level of success with freedom of dollar we still all have the same amount of time and so it really is about that freedom of time and being able to enjoy the journey along the way I want to be able to do what I call the Thousand doll tasks not the $10 task and for me a $1,000 task is when I get home I want to cook with my family can I Outsource that absolutely but that to me is not a thousand task that's a 10 that's a $10 task for some others but for me spending time with my family is like the number one most important place where I'm trying to keep my time Freedom it's really really important that I think about tasks in that way something I really encourage I Mentor so many women in business and we have a lot of responsibility like there is this extra layer of responsibility I'm not saying I mean I have such an incredible partner such an incredible husband and we co-parent we do all the things but as a working mom there's just that extra layer of a million things that have to get done as a CEO everyone wants a piece of your time how you spend your time is it's everything and so really thinking about what are your $ thousand task and just focusing on those and everything else finding a way to either delegate it or delete it do we even like actually have to do it I have this process of like do delegate delete so every couple weeks I'll do a Time audit I love this already but yeah I do a Time audit because your seasons are changing like what you're doing right now travel's insane whatever else that is do a Time audit so we do a Time audit and I take a look at how am I actually spending my time is it and I'm intentional about my time how do I want to spend my time and so if I see you know certain habits and certain things and I'm like okay no this has to come off our plate this can be delegated off am I spending too much time in one area this can apply to anyone at any point is to do a Time audit and to take control back of it and it's also important I think when you ask the question of like how do I view time now I used to have this Mantra that I used to say every day because things are so crazy busy and running two companies the podcast the kids all the stuff every morning I'd wake up Jay and I'd say I have all the time in the world I have all the time in the world I have all the time in the world but I didn't and I didn't believe it inside because I didn't have all the time in the world and now a lot has shifted where I actually do believe I have all the time in the world and that just comes with presence that just means that wherever I'm going to be and I learned how to be really present in every that I was in I was in with such intention that I did have all the time in the world I think that those are some ways that have really shifted my perspective about time but I do think it's the most important commodity that we have it's the biggest gift that you can give yourself to everyone around you and I think the world is changing so fast we're such an OnDemand everything everything is so Speedy everything coming at us from social media to life to work everyone's life there's not it's not a CEO's life that's busy every single person that's probably listening feels exactly that feeling it's so busy but is it is it busy or is it full right and that's the shift I was busy before and I learned how to make my life go going from busy to intentionally full with purpose when you're coming up with criteria for doe delegate delete how do you decide because I find that often especially in the beginning and I'm sure it was the same for you and we'll get to that in a second but there's a feeling like I have to do everything and I probably have to because I can't afford to delegate you may not have a team in the beginning so when you start growing or when you start building how do you find the ability to decide okay this is what I'm still going to do this this is what I delegate and this is what I delete because often Founders and startup owners or anyone will say to me I think everything's important yeah how do I decide what's important to do with my time it's one understanding where you want to go so I think it starts with don't just do know where you want to go so if you know where you want to go and this can be for your company this can be for your personal goals this can be for a hobby or an athletic goal you have whatever it is you have to Define what that end goal looks like so you can work backwards and I think that is an important part of even in business especially at startups you want to do all the things but you just can't so it's really deciding what are the three things and I'm a huge believer in this in the rule of three for everything I can't remember more than three things like everything is about threes for me and so it's three goals for let's say it's for the quarter for the year how do we work backwards that that's the goal and then everything else is a delete it's a no and every day I look and I I plan my needle movers is like in business is you know a very common term but it's not just about getting everything done it's what are the three most important things that I'm going to get done that are going to be towards the goals that are going to get me there and so you have to start getting really comfortable with saying no you have to start getting comfortable with you not being the one to do it and even if you don't have a team even if you don't have the resources it starts with you right you are the core nucleus of your company of your life of the things that DNA then breeds into the next your first hire that you're going to do and the next hire that you're going to do and the job of a CEO is helping everyone prioritize like that's my job every day my job is not to do the rowing so I think about you know in Rowing Club or like the coxen that's at the front of the boat his or her job is not actually to row it's to give direction to cheer everyone on to make sure that we're going in the right direction here or she's not the one rowing and so your job is just to keep everyone rowing in the same direction and prioritizing and that's probably the hardest job as well is what is priority what you asked but if you don't know it and if you're not in line with it then your team's not going to be in line with it your life is not going to be in line with it and this is something that I've realized that falls into like the CEO part and the life part always both it's the same the thing that really hit me because I've been thinking a lot about this is the needle moving part because often what we think of Delegation or roles as we also think oh someone else would take care of all the little stuff I'll do the big stuff and actually you then de prioritizing that person because you also want them to be doing needle moving things and you may be doing bigger larger more long-term needle moving things but you don't want to be like I'm going to hand off all the little things to someone else to deal with because those little things may actually become a distraction to you and that individual so anyway I want to go back to when you start thinking about building this billion dollar Empire and did you know the day you started Stacks that you wanted it to be a billion dollar business I didn't know I could go build a million-dollar business let alone a billion dollar one I love hearing that that's great I had no idea I was 26 years old no money in my bank account I was working for a financial services company I was the first person in my family to graduate college I grew up in the most incredible incredible household I was getting my MBA without even knowing it it's my parents were immigrants they came from Karachi Pakistan I was born in Chicago so I was first generation here we moved to Texas I went to 10 different schools in 12 years which is an insane part of my story but it was the pursuit of the American dream and for my parents it was about allowing us an opportunity to be anything we wanted to be to get an education that is 100% every Indian you know Pakistani culture like education is so important so I was a really great student I'm the firstborn eldest daughter all the things and I loved my childhood like I loved you know see my parents work really hard everything wasn't perfect but we had the best family values like I was surrounded by so much confidence around me my dad would wake me and my brother up every morning and he was this like loud energy like 4 in the morning wake up kind of guy every morning he'd wake us up and he'd say Sunny that's my my nickname he'd say you have it like that is what I grew up around every single day somebody telling you that you have it and it was the most annoying thing there're just our biggest champions my brothers and I's biggest Champions and so you carry that level of like responsibility you want to you want to succeed you want to do well and growing up in also a Muslim household like I didn't feel at all like my my gender like I was just the eldest kid and so that meant that I got I got to do everything first like I never felt my gender until I went into the workforce wow that's yeah not even in college in college like you know I went to I went to University of Florida we had like three championships in my four years of college I studied abroad I did all of these amazing cool things and then I get into the workforce and I saw that there were no women in at any of the companies that I worked for I worked for three different companies and the only women that I saw working in the organizations were in either customer support or in admin roles there was nobody in technology there was nobody and anything else besides supporting roles and that was the first time that I was like I'm Different there for the first time I noticed my difference and I think it was that confidence I never had that negative selft talk and and the selft talk actually started to get created at that point in my early 20s but I never had that going into it and so I feel super grateful and I think that's how I try to parent as well is you can't overl a kid like that's where the confidence comes from especially for young girls because in a world like today no one is telling them and then their negative selft talk because of how the world looks because of the in inequities that are plainly there we start to form those conversations in our own head and so I'm so grateful that I had super cheerleaders that I didn't even know that I was rolling my eyes at that really carried me through where I was like no I am different and I do have it and I can see things differently so I was that bad employee I would challenged the status quo and then I had this really amazing idea to go start a subscription based processing system and I took it back to my mail bosses and I was pretty much laughed out of the room like it was you know little girl great ideas but this is not going to work and so I came back home and I flew back from Houston to with family dinners that was always something we always were around food and family and my dad looks to me and you know was so disappointed in the how the conversation went and he said Sunny he goes why don't you just go start the company and I said Dad where do I go find Mr Visa how at 25 like where do I go build a ftech I don't have I don't know he said you'll figure it out and so that's exactly what I did and I moved back into my parents house and he's like and if you don't in six months you'll get your MBA that was it that was it was as easy as that for me spending time with my family is like the number one most important place where I'm trying to keep my time Freedom as a working mom there's just that extra layer of a million things that have to get done how you spend your time is it's everything everyone's life is busy every single person that's probably listening feels exactly that feeling it's so busy but is it is it busy or is it full I loved what you said about the idea that you can't overlo someone like that's beautiful to hear and I always feel that my mom's love was like that for me I always grew up believing I was lovable my mom's love shielded me from so much of the other pain and stress and everything else I saw happening around me and a lot of what you just said about women I see to be so true today because I've seen research and studies that show that if a man sees a job specification and can do less than half of it he'll still apply and if a woman sees something and even if she can do 80% of it she won't apply because she can't do the 20% remaining and so even when I talk to my male friends today and I know a lot of their wives and partners and girlfriends and whatever else it may be they all find that so many women are scared to go out there and start a company they're scared to take that risk they're fearful that they can't or they're waiting till they have everything like all their ducks in a row before they give themselves an opportunity how did early on in your life your dad saying this repetitive statement to you how did that not become a pressure and how did it feel empowering because I feel that sometimes if you're told you've got it you can do this a lot of people see that as pressure and then they feel they can't live up to it what was different about the parenting aspect of that because I think a lot of parents listening may take a lot from what your dad did right I was always brought in on all the conversations I think something that my parents did we had struggles and we had challenges and we had to move and we had to various businesses but we were always at the dinner table having the hard conversations you know if there were hard things that were you know taking place about money or about business or about family we were solving problems together so my my parents would always ask our perspective that is something that I I do feel is very interesting just as a child I try to do that with my my daughters at the dinner table now is to ask them like what they think so thinking about Solutions versus you know how they would think about solving it so I feel like I was really involved in hearing my voice felt heard and I think that's important because as women I do feel like we're you know our voice isn't heard and so I grew up in a place where my voice was not just heard it was really valued and my perspective was valued and there's like so many memories that I can think of I had such an amazing amazing childhood and I know a lot of people don't have that on my 17th birthday this is really crazy so we went to Atlantic City for a Bollywood concert it was like a shot Khan concert that when they would come out and do the the shows we went to Atlantic City for this concert and you know there was a casino I'm not even of legal age to Great Gamble and my dad takes me to the blackjack table okay and he was an a like he definitely had not the best habits as well um and it's and it's important to see like you you can see both sides of your parents things weren't perfect I look back and I think about mostly the positive but sitting at this blackjack table so I'm all dressed up to go to this concert I'm sitting next to him my parents were also really young they had me when they were like 20 and so people are probably assuming I'm like his girlfriend or something and you know but I'm sitting at the blackjack table next to him and he hands me a pile of chips and he's like bet and in my head I'm like how much is this like am I going to lose the money you know what's the value and his response he goes just feel it he's like if you feel like you're going to win bet more if you feel like you're not going to win pull back my ability to now take risks and listen to my gut and not worry about you know like scared money doesn't make money as well right so my ability to be able to say okay I feel like I'm going to win I feel like look at looking at the hands or learning Blackjack and I was great at math and I can get this concept that was one of my like a core memory that I can think of but I was always involved in the conversation and I feel like it was more tactical with action not just being told that you should go do this I definitely feel very blessed that I that I did have that and now my mom lives literally across the street from me she's like one rock away and we get to she gets to raise my kids with me so it's wonderful it's amazing when you when you go from pitching your idea to all of your bosses and they kind of look at you like this is going to fail this isn't going to work and then obviously your Dad gives you that encouraging statement you said that you moved back home then yeah so I'm imagining that you are making a decent amount of money working at a financial services firm and when you choose to start a company I'm guessing you took a massive pay here and I assume you were living out and then you move back home now the reason why I'm pinpointing that moment is because I think those golden handcuffs that so many of us tie around ourselves with the safe corporate job and when you've got a great degree and you finally get that job you've been waiting to get for like 18 years of your life and everyone respects you for it it looks good on your LinkedIn and your resume I found so many people struggle at that point to say well I'm willing to take less money I'm willing to downgrade my Lifest sty I'm willing to postpone And Delay the gratification of having nice things because chances are if I live with my parents and and I'm not making the money anymore Life Changes walk me through deeply that decision because I think for so many of our community listening and so many people that I Mentor coach speak to this seems to be one of the most pivotal moments of their life that were you willing to go two steps backwards in order to go five steps forward and so many of us are so scared to go two steps backwards because we've got so used to a certain level of Lifestyle so walk us through that key decision point I actually ask myself would I do it again and I think that it also depends on like it's the risk-taking ability right it takes courage to take risk one of my favorite most favorite books that I've recently read is die with zero it is such an incredible book it's this crazy concept of just taking risks and you have your golden years of your life like we should be spending our money doing our things in our Prime and that makes complete sense and the risk tolerance that you can take also changes with your age would I take these risks if I had two daughters at home and maybe if I was a sole bread winner or where I don't know and so I can look back and say I didn't have much to lose and it was a level of risk I had a steady job I was on a career path I could have totally miserably failed I think you have to think about not what is the risk in doing it it I think you have to think about what is the risk in not doing it right so what is the risk if you don't do the thing and that's kind of how I try to make those the risky decisions today and I'm I know we're going to talk more and this journey is going to come full circle in 10 years I left my company at the most record high of the company but the risk of me staying was a detriment to my health and my burnout and my all the things that I had left to go accompl and so it's really about the risk of not doing the action but at that time I think it was I was young and I could and um you do have to take take a step back and I would say I think social media does a horrible job of showing us success there's so much saturation of success there's not enough failures that are being shown it's not enough it is hard to build a business you know less than 2% of female Founders ever even break a million in Revenue that is the most insane statistic men are eight times more likely to achieve that Venture Capital right I'm going to go build a fintech less than currently 2023 less than 3% of uh Capital goes to women Founders less than 1% it's in the decimals goes to minority Founders what was I even thinking trying to go raise Capital out of Orlando Florida not even Silicon Valley right and so I think there's a naive when you're young and I think it's beautiful I think that it's the most amazing thing like I even think about parenting like oh my God now if I knew all the things that I knew right when we were young and doing the things I think that having a little bit of not knowing what's on the other side is actually really beautiful too like Embrace that now that I know I'm building second time again and I'm building from experience which means I can catapult faster and do things differently but I also know what's ahead I loved when I didn't know what was coming so I didn't know that I could go build that billion dollar business and all I did was Focus focus on putting one step one foot in front of the other every day I showed up for a job I always say this that was harder than the one I had yesterday every day I had a job that was hard because the company was growing something else was happening that's a pretty cool place to be in from a young growth perspective so if you enjoy that then entrepreneurship is for you because it doesn't get easier you get better but it it doesn't get easier I actually think what you said makes a lot of sense that at that time there was a sense of you didn't have the pressure of the success story that social media puts around you and so now it's like everyone thinks to themselves I have to build a million dooll billion dollar business and as soon as you say that it's so hard because it's such a long journey to get there that it's such an overwhelming mountain and it's almost like you're standing at the base of a mountain and it looks so high and you're just like how am I ever going to get to the top and I remember the same like when we launched our podcast I didn't have a number of downloads I was trying to reach or I didn't have a number of followers that I was like oh this would be success it was like this is what I love this is the stories I want to tell this is how we want to serve our community this is the experience we want to build and that's how we started and then of course everything got more strategic as we developed and we learned more and everything but I didn't have that pressure on day one and I think if I did I may never have put out a video would never have put out a piece of content because it was going to be years or months or days until you actually reached this false goal you set yourself so when you're starting out how do you set goals that are empowering and not dehab because I see a lot of Founders setting very dehab goals I think the goals have to be in line with why are you doing what you're doing I think that the numerical success will come from it but if that's what you're defining as your goals up front you're not going to like that's that's where the mountain gets really high versus if you're really just showing up to go serve the five audience members that you were like hey I just want to do this podcast and I just whoever listens listens like this is what I want to do when I first started the business I knew that there was a gap in what I was what we were doing I literally sold the first 100 customers out of the trunk of my car this is when like payment terminals were like a real thing and I would carry them in my car i' I'd go around shopping plazas it was just a completely different I had to go meet my customers where they were at and every day my goal was I just want one person to say yes that was it that's a great goal that that's it and so if and I knew what I wanted to serve small business I had such a passion I knew what I could help them with and so it's really important to stay focused on that and it's hard like I really that empathy comes from a place because I find myself in that now because I think social media makes it really really difficult we see living in this comparison culture living in it's hard not to when you see you and it's nice it's also nice to see success because you're like hey that's possible for me there's an amazing truth in that and you should have I have my I make my vision board every year right and if I'm not going to have big visions and big goals like I I do believe in the power of dreaming big but you have to stay rooted in showing up for that one person or that one customer and building your product and solution set to really serve I think that that's where most of the most successful companies come from and that's why I love women in business like I love love meeting and I get an opportunity with everything that I do with a podcast and CEO school to just meet and Mentor so many women I never meet a woman who's just started the business or a business for the sake of it every woman I meet is building a b business because somebody wasn't solving something for their kids school some somebody wasn't solving something for their industry there is a technology that they see this world in a different way that no one's solving for there's a greater purpose and she's the last one she's so exhausted from nobody solving it she's like screw it I got to do it I got to do it and that's literally how women are starting businesses we're not first to raise our hands to say oh yeah entrepreneurship is where we're at we're solving real problems because we really care and I think that's the the empathetic part the nurturing part the problem solving part of women and women actually end up becoming the most successful Investments for Venture capitalists women actually end up becoming the most incredible leaders in organizations I do think that the world would look very very different in the environment that we are in today if we had more more women at the top across the world on a global standpoint so it is important because women built with purpose and and I think that that's what you have to you have to stay grounded and it's nothing's going to take you there because when you talk about those goals Jay as soon as you start to reach if it's just the goal before you even get to the goal you're raising the goal again before you get to the next goal you're raising that goal again you have to check yourself in that and I fell into that trap so once we started to get the success and we started to grow the business our first year we did 5 million in payments through our ecosystem within year five we did 5 billion it was real it was hard it was fast we were scaling we were growing and then I just became a product of of living in this fintech boys club and defining success on everyone else's terms and I stopped checking in with what I actually want I stopped checking in with what my customers really wanted I stopped checking in I was just building because now there was this Playbook of this Tech Playbook this is how we this is series A B C here's what's next here's how we're it's all about value it's all about this it's about Acquisitions and I definitely have a lot of lessons from building in that way that I had to really check myself when we reach the top don't just do know where you want to go whatever it is you have to Define what that end goal looks like so that you can work backwards social media does a horrible job of showing us success there's not enough failures that are being shown I think you have to think about not what is the risk in doing it I think you have to think about what is the risk in not doing it the statistics you mentioned a couple of moments ago about the number of female Founders funding going to female Founders those are so alarming and they're not even close to being good no like they're they're so far behind what was some of the blocks and the barriers you saw for women that you had to learn to navigate and how would you encourage women who are in that space right now because it can get so easy to get discouraged it's so easy to become bitter it's so easy to become completely disempowered and by the way all of that would be extremely valid based on the statistics you just shared what did you learn that if you were like here are three lessons master classes moments of navigation that I learned that helped me play the game and figure it out as opposed to give up on the game and quit because it was too hard what would you say were the biggest three things that you were like these three things taught me how to play the game and I had to learn to navigate these in order to win in this world I would say the first thing is to build your network like that is the number one thing I think what has made the boys club so successful is that is they they do business on the golf courses and through relationships and through this college and they went to this school and there is a network there is a boys club network we haven't had an opportunity to build a network we've only been in the workforce you know since the 1940s 50s since postor War like the business world has not been designed for women in mine and so it is important to start building that Network immediately and so get out of the screen get into the room so that's like the number one first piece of advice that I have for every woman building everywhere is build your network and the boys club isn't bad right and so find the right supporters find the right allies and so I had the most incredible I two male co-founders my brother and my other brother and so we built alongside and I had the most amazing mentors male mentors that had been there done that and so I do think that you have to find the right men around you for support as well so seek allies and ask for help great point because the world isn't one or the other people do want to help and I think as women this goes back to like the number two is that we carry all of the burden we carry all of this extra mental pressure we carry all of this selft talk the doubt and again all valid but we never we're the last to ask for help we're always pouring into everyone I see this from my own mother I see this me as a mother I have to remind myself that I need to be poured into as well we're just that's how our DNA is this is how we've been physically designed and built from our primitive years and days you know from the stone ages that's what our jobs were we're nurturers we're we're part of but we were part of the village right we didn't have to do it alone in this world why do we feel like we have to do it alone and so get comfortable with asking for help so getting those allies super super important third piece of advice that I have for female Founders is to do it anyway like go for it anyway and so there's going to be a lot of noise there's going to be a lot of people that are going to doubt you every time you're going to step into a room there's going to be somebody and I've experience this in every room that I've been been I can name countless stories of the misogyny of the sexism of the racism and even the agism right like even being young you're doubted I can think of my first CEO conference when I did got investors was you know Venture backed you know and it's not anyone's fault it's just I was the first portfolio company that was founded like that was a female founded portfolio company and I arrived to this conference and every CEO walking in through the door stopped me and be was like Hey where's the event hey where do I get my name badge hey where do I get they just assumed that I was like the event manager until you know one of the LPS was like and welcoming our newest portfolio CEO s and then they're face it right and so just ignore it as best as you can and you just have to keep showing up in those rooms and be authentically you right I think that's if I like that's the third piece of advice is it took me so long to get comfortable with fully showing up as myself and I mean it's not my fault I had to put on a lot of armor I was one of the only women in the boy club and there's so so many stories of how I would show up I called myself a man in a skirt so like how I would dress I could not eat another steak at a steakhous like it was like I was doing all the things to fit in and that's natural that's human tendency you want to be part of the club so I'm not going to disrupt the norm but you know I think that where the change really happened for me was standing up to my board and to the team and being comfortable and leading the way that as Sena that came later for me and it came through confidence right it came through like doing it and finding the C like the courage to be confident in my own ability but I wish I found that sooner so my third piece of advice is to just to do it anyway show up in the rooms and show up as you you don't have to be a man and a skirt like be exactly how you are and I think that the world is is I think it's changing Jay so I think it is it's getting better the statistics aren't there and I've got thoughts on why the stats aren't there and it's it's because we're not holding institutions accountable there is an accountability component [ __ ] does not change unless you hold somebody accountable to it so so venture capitalist you know where is the funding going why aren't we mandating that at least percentages of these funds go towards women-owned businesses lending banking that's exactly why we're building worth again I did not want to go Be A Serial entrepreneur I am exhausted of building businesses but there isn't Ane Equitable landscape and we have to hold institutions accountable as well and so I'm trying to do that by standard by standardizing the business credit score and holding institutions accountable for Equitable lending and for an equitable Financial ecosystem but I think that those things have to change as well as our consumer beh as well as so many things there's so many things that have to change and I do believe that the dialogue is happening which is important that's where it starts but action comes from doing and so that's going to be the next big step and I I'm really curious to see how we're going to do that in you know in my generation I want my my daughter's Generations I want my kids to I have two daughters for them to grow up in a world that they can be and do and right now they have no concept just like I did right and so I'm raising them in the same way and they're so strong and so independent and so cool and so different and all the things and I hope that that continues like they can always continue to be themsel and have that positive dialogue not just for me as a parent but from their own from their own self because the world hopefully looks different for them yeah no great great advice and you reminded me of a story I heard when I was in England I heard the speaker talking about and I may get the date wrong but I think she built a big tech company in the 80s in England she talked about how when she started out she used to call other CEOs and she'd pretend to be her own assistant yeah and she'd say I'm setting up a meeting for Steve Shirley her name was Stephanie Shirley and she'd be like hey I'm calling on behalf of Steve Shirley Steve Shirley would love to come and meet you the person would book in the appointment and then she'd turn up as a woman and they be like wait how's your name Steve she's like oh they go I go by Steve cuz I'm Stephanie and her name became Steve Shirley because that's what she was known as and that's what it took and now I'm hoping times are changing and things are shifting of course drastically since then but still that feeling of women feeling like I have to go to a steakhouse maybe I have to hang out here we're hoping culture's changing but if we're completely honest if you didn't do those things would you be successful today I don't know and being honest yeah no it's and it's such a valid point this is a conversation we're having with friends last night at dinner you know a friend asked what would I look back and do different and so many things is what I want to say right hindsight's 2020 but the truth is nothing right because it it took me to the next step and it took me to the next room and it took me to the next table and the next conversation and it made whatever decisions I made allowed me to for for me to get that land that customer to me to land that partnership and that investor and I do think that it is important not to lose yourself though and so although I was showing up at the Stak house and at the things like I would invite my counterparts to come like to see it from a different lens and I'm always like every one of like my investors mentors like they're all probably rolling their eyes laughing at like this is the like typical Sena conversation is like how they can be better for us too like okay next time instead and so the next year at that conference uh my wonderful investor and there were so incredible so that was not their intention to make me feel left out then it was a golf tournament on the second day of course it's a golf tournament on the second day and so they set me up at a spa appointment which was so sweet of them but I'm not here to go to the spa I'm here to network with other CEOs and get business done right and so I ended up just riding the golf carts right and I ended up riding the golf carts and we had such a great time and like by the end of it you know next year they're like what should we do different and I'm like nothing just invite me to the golf course right and maybe I'm not going to golf and maybe I may leave early from a dinner maybe I won't stay overnight at a conference cuz I've got my kids to go like to get home to but I want to be invited to the like I want to just be part of the thing I don't want to have this like curated extra experience and so I'd always invite them like they would invite me back into that conversation of what they could do better but I don't think if I voiced it they wouldn't have known if I just went to the spa didn't say anything right and so I do think that that's where I was you know the early parts of having your voice heard word is important you can't make change if you're not going to express those ideas so you have to get comfortable and it's hard I know it's so much easier said it takes courage to do that but I think if you do it in a way that's kind and if you do it in a way that's loving and if you do it in a way that's empathetic and it's not belittling and it's not oh you made me feel it's not you language it's I'm really excited for this and I see a lot of good in people and even though I faced a lot of the things that I faced I knew that very very few times where I felt that I was malicious or intentional but most of the time it wasn't they just don't know it they just don't know and so I think if you invite people into a proactive conversation a co-created conversation that change can happen that way and that's how I was able to navigate The Boys Club Once doing it again I mean f it still hasn't like the the fch space is it's different but I do think that um we can co-create a more beautiful experience for all yeah no thank you for being so honest as well because I think it's like you said it's been 10 years and it still hasn't changed drastically it's changed a little bit but your ability to deal with it positively and proactively has helped you move along and one of the things you did and you said to me like you built your business with family yeah and that's rare I feel as well in this day and age I feel like there were companies like a century ago which were family built familyowned they passed it down through generations family built businesses are more rare now and I've even had a lot of friends and family members that I know that have built things with their friends Investments companies and at some point there's a breakoff there's a breakdown in communication there's potentially distance that's created and I think people can sometimes be quite naive and trusting when they go into family based or friend-based businesses and at some point the Friendship kind of changed is because of money the family falls out over money generally money seems to be this force that has the power to break some of the deepest of bonds as someone who's built a successful relationship with their family and built a business at the same time what three warnings or cautions or clarifications would you put into place for anyone listening right now thinking I'm starting this with my friend I'm super excited we love each other we don't need anything contracts forget it or someone with their family is just like I of course said trust my family what would you be three things you'd lay out for them to say here's how to get it right and here's what we did it's definitely very rare So I and I've seen it with my own friends firsthand of what you're saying is so true because you go into it with that level of trust that excitement with my brother when he came into the he came into the business a year after almost a year after he was supporting me on a back end and then when things really started taking like taking off I needed help I needed to grow and he was an expert in different things and I think advice number one is don't just partner up for the sake of partnering up we definitely had so much trust I mean we have the same DNA right like there's like same value system every like there's nobody in my life that has gone through almost every life experience with me than my brother like that's such a cool Bond as siblings that you get to have right they really understand all of the the craziness the fames have they on they're really your you know the other half of you in a different way in your the the primary part of your growing up so we had so much trust everything that made me great made him great everything that you know would be things that maybe messed us up messed him up right so we had this true Bond but he was different in his skill set I had really strong strength and people and brand and marketing and just the ability to inspire and get talent and drive he was so great at sales and operations and that was the skill set that I needed and so I think advice number one is stay in your lanes so I think where what happens is like when you're you know in each other's Lanes that's where it becomes tough so having clear roles and responsibilities and then that's where the trust component comes in because if you really trust each other then you have to let them run it the way that they would run it and they have to trust you in running that lane the way that I would like that you're going to run it and so I think that that's number one is to divide and conquer number two you brought up money money is it's tough right and so and that is truly what has I've seen broken families and relationships and one thing that you know when s came on board I could have maybe offered a different Equity stake or when we were like trying to figure out how we're going to do this and we it was 50/50 it wasn't even a question and and even though I was started like started the company first whatever it was but I knew that I never wanted money to be our relationship is the most important thing and so I never wanted to build like what if the business is going to fail we're going to have success we're going to fail we're I didn't know what was going to be the outcome but family is forever like I didn't want to ruin that and So to avoid not letting money come in the way and I know this isn't practical for many people but that was the reason why it was 50/50 I got 2% more because I'm two years older so older sister all like that I love so that that was the deal and actually this company now we're we're building again together and this time he has 2% more to make life Fair um yeah so but we came from a place and what that allowed it wasn't about me feeling great or him feeling great we both came from a sense of partnership and so every decision that you make and whether that's with your friend or with your spouse or whoever you're doing a business partner that you're doing business with if you guys are coming at it from this same Equitable lens then you know that like there's that extra level of trust because there isn't any other gain or benefit for s or for myself we're always coming at it for the same outcome and I know that's not perfect for all kinds of businesses but it's all about value right where there's not that disconnect is when someone doesn't feel their value and so really sitting down and understanding the value component of it it's super critical and then just advice that it is important to talk about what happens if it doesn't go well right so to have have that conversation have that conversation and to have things in place to say if it doesn't go well here's how we're going to solve through it but I think it's it's not just having the end in mind we actually never signed a like a contract so that's actually I'm giving the advice I never took the advice and I will say what did get us through it is any business partnership business is personal like period it's a relationship I mean you are the guru of relationship advice like it is you have to nurture this relationship you have to spend time in this relationship it's a relation you have to ensure that the other person is feeling seen heard valued and you've got to ensure that there's strong communication in the relationship so Sal and I we're siblings we fight more than any like it is non-stop like I disagree with him a hundred times a day aund times a day but we also make up very quickly because the way that I talk to my brother there's probably nobody in the world I could ever talk to that is like it's just how siblings work but we have great level of communication and we got an incredible coach to support us we had almost like a therapist a business therapist because that's what this is It's relationship and so I think it's never too early so if you do have a partnership to have a third party that you can communicate just like couples therapy right that you can go to and you're like we're both committed to making this work but it's so annoying when she does this or it's so annoying when he does that and so it's not coming from a lens of me against him and that there's like a third party there that's been super helpful and just building upon that communication so trust is super important and not and that communication it's where it goes wrong is when you start brushing it under the rug right when you're like that's where resentment forms where relationships fail business relationships personal relation it's resentment we don't talk about it we're not addressing it we're not Co we're not finding a solution for it and then the next time it happens you're like oh remember that last time that that happened remember that so like all of this triangulation that negative conversation I'm a huge believer I'm like always hard on my sleeve always and so that's what's worked to just be honest and have those conversations and if you need help then get that third person involved but that's been what's worked really well for us I think there's something to be said for relationships where you already have a deep understanding of each other when Ry and I started juny together which is our te company it was so much about leaning into each other's strengths and trusting each other with what we knew so I know that R deeply understands flavor profile she really understands ingredients she knows what's good for People's Health she's that's her world like that's that's what she's dedicated her life to she's a nutritionist she's a dietitian she has a background in that and so I can trust her with that and then I love storytelling I love symbolism I love Aesthetics like that's that's my world and I love the idea of how something can become a part of someone's routine and you know we have a juny for the morning and a juny for the evening and a juny for Midday pickme up and I understand how people need to use products in order to feel better and when there's that trust and that understanding now it's like okay we don't need to tread on each other's toes but we'd been together for probably like 9 10 years when we started something together so there's such a deep understanding whereas if we started it in year one chances are would been a lot more difficult and so I think if you are building something with someone you know if you know them well enough it's more likely to be effective as opposed to like oh we just hit it off and we kind of got some chemistry and then you know you don't really know them well enough but I wanted to ask you something something I want to Pivot slightly because I think it's something that I talked to a lot of people about and I think you've nailed it and we we kind of touched on it in our previous conversation before before we started recording you built a business in what is a background product right in the sense of it's not consumer facing directly it's not something that everyone would come across sexy yeah it's I call it unsexy money in a really and it's and I think it's the coolest type of money there's a lot of pressure these days where everyone thinks I have to have a social media following I have to build a brand that's known online I need a viral brand if it's going to make money it has to be consum like we put this weird pressure and I always think about like I used to work at accenta and I used to think about the amount of things that Accenture required things that accenta worked on I always be like no one's ever heard of these companies and there are founders here winning massively and I feel like this generation might be missing out on the businesses that solve real problems that affect millions of people behind the scenes that the opportunity to scale really really fast because we're too busy trying to grow an online following and to walk us through that understanding of how you encourage Founders to find their Niche and build their product and think about what they're doing because today it's been like oh well if my brand hasn't had a viral video yet it probably won't become big so so walk us through that a little bit it's done so much good but it's ruined us right like it's ruined us in so so many ways we have to stop doing things for the gram we have to it is it is our mentality of building companies products services that if it's not this then it's not that and I also think that it's important for us to have a social presence and to utilize all these tools that we have so there's so much good that can come from it but it doesn't have to be all of it and so I do think it's important there's so much opportunity out there most entrepreneurs that I know of personally that have been really successful came from a corporate position that like saw something and then they wanted to go tackle this one unique problem and these unsexy businesses are solving the most complex problems for us so we did $40 billion in payments through this ecosystem that I almost didn't start if I didn't build it we we solved huge problems in this it was so unsexy card present versus card not present so stripe was focused on digital transactions Square was focused on in-person transactions guess what there was nobody the gap for like dentist offices that needed both in person and online transactions boom there was the opportunity that nobody saw on building that Tech and it's not about I didn't have the background I wasn't a coder I wasn't an engineer but I could see where the world was going and I think that's what entrepreneurship is it's this Spirit of solving for problems it's not for show success will come if you just like let go of that and you can also have a social following and build a great band and have the podcast and do the things to go reach more people but you can solve if you just focus on solving the problem and seeing it uniquely and if it's one of you you're really like it's resonating with you because you're like I am that person I I'm always finding like you're in the shower and you're like this should be better this could be better right you're you're always finding the next thing but ideas don't make you an entrepreneur execution does right everybody has ideas it's really about execution and that's the thing I feel like that's the thing that I saw maybe in like Sal and I growing up was like you've got to put in the work even after everything that I have I show up every single day and I work I put my head down at night and I ask myself did I like give my 110 I work so hard still and it's just part of and yes I work smart too so it's not that I'm not just grinding my way I'm being intentional but hard work is a huge part of it because there's no such thing as a billion dollar idea it's a billion dollar execution to execute it's every single day you just got to keep showing up and like that mountain the Mountain's going to be there and then you're going to climb it and guess what you're going to get to the top and you're going to climb this thing the next the next day there's another mountain and there's another Mountain so you've got to love that that challenge that's what entrepreneurship is it's not I didn't build a billion dollar it took me 12 years to build that business 10 years to exit that business it didn't happen overnight it happened because I just kept showing up it wasn't this magic formula people ask like what was secret to the billion dollar success I didn't give up like I just somehow kept showing up I can name every Founders like every Journey where we almost didn't make payroll I had to put my mortgage on the line we had to do we didn't get the investors we lost the customers but you just keep going and so you have to find that why to really power you through and for me it was I just love to solve really big problems and that's why even after exit right it's like here I'm back again and in building again it's because I see I see the problem and and I know we can solve it yeah I I think you're the right person to ask this question to you because you talked about working hard and working smart but what was the mindset shift in building a million doll business 100 million and then getting to a billion like what changed because I think there may be people listening who've like built the million and they're like I want to get to 10 or 100 I don't know what's what do I need to do differently because I think at every level there's a different mindset a different type of work that's required and often we don't talk about that enough and so you keep doing the same thing again and again expecting a different result as Einstein said is insanity what was different what did you find that you had to up level to go from one to 100 100 to a billion you're brilliant because everything has to change it's completely different going from your zero to six figures you know getting that validation of your it's a completely different Journey from 0 to six from 6:00 to 7:00 it's a completely different journey and everything breaks and it's supposed to break going from seven to eight figures in Revenue it's going to break again your systems are going to break people are going to break it's going to break because it's supposed to once you get you know you get things right or you think you get these things right if you're doing what youve set out to do which is go get more customers go get more Revenue there's pressure on that system and then you've got to recalibrate you got to recalibrate the tools you got to recalibrate the next level of scale and so it is supposed to break but the one thing that's not different if I look back so we had to change our mentality on growth we had to you know get new technology it's scale is it's not simple but if I were to boil it down it comes to three things it's people process and profit you've got to scale your people you've got to scale your process and you've got to scale your profit most companies that go beyond that market validation of million in revenue and you're trying to get to the m you know or the 100 million in value they have multiple R lines of Revenue and so you're thinking outside of the box so once we were acquiring small businesses we've shift to an Enterprise strategy now I'm building again we're selling Direct to the banks we're going directly to Enterprise first because that was the one to many that I it took me seven years to unlock that next and then I'm going to go to small businesses so you have to be able to tap into that scale of people process and profit but the one thing that I would say stayed exactly the same and it was so important for me I wanted to be the one to see the company through to exit and I worked so hard being overprepared over all the things so that I could be the best CEO that I could be like I put so much intentionality behind working really hard to be the best leader that I could and the thing that carried me through that was exactly the same was our values in the company I think we hired the right people we fired the right people and those decisions are hard and our culture was really built on the value system I mean I have one team tattooed here on my arm it comes from that that meets me my brother we're one team was we one team one dream like that's that's how it's been since we grew up that's what I wanted our team environment to be like and so building that the culture the DNA value system and those core values those don't change those evolve but that needs to stay grounded and the same as your scaling then you just shift into those are just like it's just the next Playbook it's a different heart at the next level but you can solve it and you can find people to solve it and then at that next stage we had amazing leaders at the you know hundred million Mark and when I started the company the name of the company was fat Merchant by the way cuz I was 25 you know it was it was fun and we were disrupting the industry but I knew that fat Merchant was a100 Million company Stacks was a billion dollar company and I had to get comfortable even though it was my to make those pivots to make those changes and so you've got to see where it's going and you've got to be willing to just throw it away and to start again at that you know to bring in we had to bring in new leaders that's hard change is hard for organizations and so you've got to go build and to be willing to willing to change it's supposed to break so get comfortable with it breaking and you just get better it doesn't get easier but you get better but as long as everybody that's coming in through that door has that same that that value principle and that's something that I think it's the most important thing I I was so tired of hearing my entire career s you take things to personally oh wow and I do because it is personal it's the most personal thing I spend I had this company before I even had had my children it's my first baby right like I give that much energy and love even for for work right those that are in the workforce like you spend more time at work than you do anywhere else it is personal you don't leave yourself at the door before you show up on zoom and you shouldn't be expected to and I think that we can create and I have this vision of a world in you know a working world where we do bring the human first and we've we had the most tremendous leadership and people and it's been so amazing to be able to build again with that same value principle and it's just come it's the first component of it and who like you are The Company You Keep literally you are The Company You Keep and so that DNA is the most important so don't change that has to be reflective of your value system and then the rest is just a Playbook I really appreciate your highlighting of just how many challenges there are to solve and how it's actually normal for things to break every time you upgrade an up level and by the way this includes the team that's working too like I look at I couldn't do anything without my team it just wouldn't be possible and the people process profit point is is so brilliantly laid out for anyone who's listening right now like I think those three things are so pivotal in an organization and people being able to constantly solve after a break that resilience and grid that's required by the whole team not just by The Leader by the whole team that's so pivotal and I was going to ask you because that I'm listening to you now and I'm thinking there's probably at least like I'm reckon I reckon you have a minimum of 100 stories a year of things going wrong and I was going to ask you what was your darkest day as an entrepreneur like what was the toughest day that you remember where and and how did it feel and how did you deal with it surprisingly my tough off days were actually after I achieved the billion dollar value I sold the company twice which is also very of an interesting journey and I did the things that I wanted to do for my team so I carried that my team with me we made record-breaking success for our investors for our team all the things and then the next year we like I got distracted as I mentioned like I was chasing something that I didn't know that I wanted and so it was like boom we did you know was 220 million I think was the the 2020 valuation and exit where we cashed 70% out of the company so whoever owns shares like everybody made money it was and it wasn't just about the financial it was meaningful in a sense of like when you get to exit something when you get to like take it to completion it feels so good like it was just incredible and then got heads down because it was now what's next it's let's let's keep growing let's get it to the billion let's IPO let's go you know do what's next and I got heads down again in 18 months just building and grinding and building and grinding the only things in my life were my company and my family like that is all all it was my health was deteriorating I was at the worst worst Health um and I actually had never gone to a doctor because I I think women can relate to this like my OB was my doctor for like cuz I was having babies in between and fasel and I were you know planning a family and that was it so for five years my only doctor was my OB and I had to go to the doctor because it's like not the most prideful thing I can say but we had to get like keyman life insurance before our series D you have to like do these insurance which which means that like I had to be tested if I was healthy and what my insurance policy as a CEO was I went to the doctor because I was required to for work and I got my report card back which was my health report and I was quite literally like a 57-year-old man like I actually became the pale male stale CEO like I literally became him and my health was my cholesterol my cortisol everything was like I didn't even know like I had no clue and you know I had lost my father the year before and it was just hard it was like what am I what am I doing this for and we had our series D coming up and it's brutal like going through some of these fundraising like with big bankers and investment bankers I was on the road I had to do 40 plus fireside chats with the most incredible you know large private equities that like in finance you like you know you have you're from essential like you dream of like being in front of like the black rocks and the kkr's and like it was so fun and exhilarating in a different way but it was hard I was on the road and we accomplished what we set out to do was to go you know close the series D bring in other minority investors we were 100 plus million in revenue and so it wasn't even a fictitious value it wasn't a value based on like oh here's this Tech value multiple we had a 100 plus million in in revenue and we closed around 1.1 billion everything I'd ever dreamed of the whole we're we're an Orlando based company which is a huge deal we're the first unicorn out of Orlando out of Florida like so many big moments we had the community it was a big milestone to celebrate so we had this hu the mayor's like everything's there all of this excitement around this Milestone around this Series E around this valuation and around this exit and when the party was over it happened so fast like it was like two weeks of all of this and I was back to work and I went to my next board meeting and was like here here's the next now it's 2 billion and it was the first time that I was like do I actually want to go do it again like and I felt the most emptiest I had ever the loneliest I had ever felt and it's because what happens when you aim for the moon but you actually land I have no goal any I've did everything that I wanted to do and so I did what most typical Tech Founders do is I took a sabatical took my family to Europe and it was really just to spend time with myself and to really ask myself the hard questions of what is it that I want to do next and then you know we had this big plan laid out for the next transaction or maybe going to you know IPO we had three Acquisitions at that time and as like a student of learning like I get really excited about just learning I'm like I want to do something that I haven't done and going public was something that was just like on the you know on the checklist but I came back and decided that I was going to leave my job I I was like I have to this is not for me anymore and that I was and also the organization was quite large you know as you can tell I'm a people person My love language is quality time and so it was just time for me to hand over to another team that was going to take it from that billion to two or to the next Milestone into the next level that was when the transition really began and I've spent my entire like adulthood to find like building this my work was my worth it was my only identity and it was so hard to shed like what was next and so that was it that was like the toughest moment it was the hardest decision I had many people think that that was like the craziest thing to leave at that time I left a lot of equity on the T I'm still a huge I love this company I'm a big shareholder it's always going to be part of my story I'm always going to be the founder of stacks but I had more I wanted to do and impact was an important part of it and taking care of myself and getting to know myself and I lost a a decade and I wouldn't change it like we talked about I wouldn't go back and change it it's Pro like it's literally given us the most incredible life it's given me all of these opportunities I would do it over again every single day but now I just want to be a lot more intentional and I get to come from a place of where I get to build again and it's not about freedom of dollar anymore it's about freedom of impact and I get to use my time and my resources and my connections and the network and to go build something incredible and I thought maybe I'd retire right after right so I was like okay maybe I'm going to you know come off I've got the podcast I love meeting amazing women and supporting female Founders but when if I turn that into work it would lose its magic and so after a couple months and this is where serial entrepreneurship like kicks in and now I get it you get the next idea and then you can't eat breathe sleep think about it in the shower and that's how it that's how it happened and we got the team back together and we're going to go we're going to go do it again because I'm 37 years old and like what else am I going to do with my life and so I'm going to I'm going to go build but this time I think I get to build with more confidence I get to build with a different network I get to build without having the the the dollar in mind or having that pressure and I get to take a different kind of risk and I'm really excited about the senerio 2.0 yeah that's what I was going to say is that is that scenario 2.0 now like that's the I mean it's been it's been such an amazing journey of just getting to know myself and finding time to really think about what's important and I was telling you that Mantra in the beginning of I have all the time in the world and I'm so busy it's back again I've got all the million things but I really do believe I have all the time in the world now because I get to choose it with all the things I get to fill it with all the things that I love I took on my health head-on I'm proud to report that my health is incredible like I'm like everything is like I'm the healthiest I've literally been since like before I had kids and it feels amazing and I feel so great inside and I have this amazing energy in a different way and I you know prioritize myself and my workouts and it used to feel like a chore and now it's like I never thought I would be that that girl that like loved to work out I mean and I have different like I love to walk and I love being in nature I found I've always been a spiritual person but I lost that part of me because it's hard to make the time right it's hard to add all the things and I've really given that like a big part a big bucket in my life and I've really filled that bucket and found ways to just go deep and be in peace and I'm so much more calmer now like if you ask any of my friends like my energy is just in a different energy I'm so grateful you know I was talking to fasel on the way here and it's like we think that everything's happening to us right it's so hard it's so hard but when hard things happen you have to trust then it's happening for us and I really do understand that now I think a lot of spiritual teachers will you know share that that you have to trust you have to trust in that there is a better plan and I finally get it and now when I pray or when I look deep and I ask and I'm like I want this or I want to think about that or allow me these opportunities or something better so when things don't happen exactly the way it's because the timing isn't right because there's something better and you just have to trust in the power of the universe and I really do I really do believe that when you're in that frequency and it sounds like so woo but I I get it and I feel really grateful that I was able to take the time to put in the work and you've got to put in the work and it it's hard to to look deep and check your ego what check you know how you're actually living your life in action and is that really aligning and I can look back and I also he said so many mistakes so many things I want to do over on that I I don't I won't change but I think growth is a big part of the journey and I don't know what my destination is going to be I think this time around I'm not going to just build a billion- Dollar business I'm probably going to build I don't know something even greater but I'm not capping it so just uncap it and I'm really excited about that that's so beautiful to hear and it's so wonderful that you were able to take lessons from the last 10 years and shift and make changes and use this transition period to have a more trans formational Journey now because yeah you can get so lost and broken by something that it's hard to do it again and I think a big part of that from what I've learned from you and private conversations has been your relationship with FaZe you've been with him since you guys were 20 and and your children as well and you know I find like women get asked this question more than anyone it's like how do you do it all right like and and and it's one of those unfair questions with the unfair pressure that that falls on women and I wanted to ask you though for your relationship and your relationship with your children how you were telling me this earlier you like think we're really trying to do this right and raise great humans and and everything else what have been the two most critical pieces of being in love since you were 20 while you build this 37 today and having two children five and eight that's during all of this right like this is all happen we haven't even like that's all happening and was it perfectly balanced what did balance look like and and if you had to say here were two things that were the two priorities that made sure that both things stayed on track what would they be I'm so grateful for my husband and my partner and you know we met so young and we built our lives together and so I'm like super he's also an entrepreneur we're both like different personality types but also just he's the most incredible loving human you know we have a joke in our family that it's like everybody meets s my brother and like everybody loves S and S always goes and then they meet my sister and then everybody loves Sena and then they meet fasil and then we're like chop L like everybody let it's Everybody Loves Raymond but our houses everybody loves like faasil so we've got a house that's just full and it's filled with so much love and I think it goes back to the same things of communication and you know I think we in the in the beginning we talked about productivity and we just communicate really well we're a team the value system is of a team and and never in our like we've always had to you know one person's been in the driver's seat or one person's been you know in the back we've always been side by side even if our careers are taking us in different paths like I do feel like I've had that support system in my home life with him and that is something that I'm so grateful for to have a partner that is not intimidated by the success or not intimidated by like he's my biggest cheerleader he's my biggest biggest fan and it's that level of confidence I do think I've been very fortunate to have strong men in my life I've never had men that you know I've had all strong male models who treat women with like just the most amazing things that we are and I feel like that has been a huge part of where I don't see the world in that way like I I feel empowered because my home feels empowered I know so many women that they have to mask their success at home or on a date I have so many friends that are struggling in dating life and they're so successful they're so incredible and when they show up they have to it feels emasculating uh because they have so much success or that they're you know maybe earning more money or have more accolades and I do think that you know it takes strong men to be with strong women and there are strong men in this world I've been fortunate for that and the advice that I have on how we've been able to co-partner and co-parent and do the things is is building a home with love and honesty and trust and uh spending time together that productivity like every Sunday we have this meeting so we have like my my whole life has been CEO life that I like put into our our systems at home but we have a Sunday meeting we call it Sunday zoom out and so my schedule is really busy I have to travel a lot for work I'm speaking at conferences he's got his businesses we like two ships sometimes in the night and then we've got our kids we've got our girls it's our number one priority and each other like as a family Unit were a priority and so on Sundays we sit down and now Mila is old enough she's actually like she takes notes for us and so the kids are involved and it's like here's the schedules for the week and here's what you know Mom's up to and here's what's what dad's up to and you know their schedules are crazy they've got tennis and soccer and piano and they super overachievers with a full schedule as well by their choosing by the way so by their choosing uh they get to pick their activities and so every week we sit down and we just were like okay here's what's happening and so that end up itself that transparency it's not like Mom has to go to work we're so excited because Mom is going to LA to go do do be on this podcast and then I'll show them a clip of the podcast and they're like oh that's so cool many times like with if I have like so much travel the kids go with me they have been on you know every stage they've gotten to meet the most incredible they got to meet Simone biles at the uh eron young the the Strategic growth for I was speaking at strategic growth forum and you know I knew she was going to be there I brought the kids and I I knew our our path would coincide backstage the girls were with me like we just try to incorporate the kids into everything as best as we can and it's not perfect parenting right they're going to miss school they're going to do the things but involve them and so on Sundays we sit down as a family and we're excited for each other that takes the pressure off of like it's not about the schedule it's about what are our wins for this week as a family and then we prioritize okay so if this is what's happening and this is what's happening then we go into like the tacticality of it right who's doing pickup who's doing drop off and I do want to make sure you know the women in the audience especially here I do have help because that is it's impossible it is impossible the weight of the the things that we have to do ask for help whatever you can delegate off even if it's the laundry even if it's and if you don't have the resources ask a friend ask for help trade share do the things but help is a big part of how it all works and so I've got my mom and we've got support and just because I have support doesn't mean that fasel and I aren't the ones that are like the nucleus of it right like we fight over drop offs we fight over it and so we just divide and conquer and the kids are involved and there really isn't perfect balance I think that's what it's a myth you know myth balance is [ __ ] there isn't it's integration and so we've just learned to integrate we've made our lives out of it we travel so much we make it fun that's what how we do and then every week we prioritize time together for just him and I and that's how we've been able to really say and it's not perfect we've had our moments through through the years like hard moments through the years and every time we have hard moments it's because we've deprioritized ourselves we've deprioritized our relationship and then when we we don't have date nights or or just even a walk right where it's just oneon-one time and we're not connecting then we're annoyed at each other and we're bitter and then everything else falls into place so that Sunday meeting is super super critical for our family and you can have it all like you can I was so tired of hearing that you can't have it all we often hear that and many successful people say you can't have it all I want to have it all but I want to Define what all looks like so for me it's that going back to the threes I've got three buckets that's it so it's my family it's my work right and now it's building this company and it's impact right it's it's it's the work that I get to do with women in business and I think that that's and that might change right so your buckets might evolve but those are the buckets that I'm filling and it's not perfect on a day-to-day so when I'm here and I'm here for work I'm fully present here and I know everything is taken care of and when I'm home I'm fully home and that's why I love going into the office so FaZe likes to work from home we can't work in like CU he's always cook he's always distracting me like he's he lives on Kronos time like he's he definitely has all the time in the world and he's just so chill we're like so opposite and so we work separate like I I go into the office cuz I like to go in I like to get my stuff done but then when I'm home I'm home and everything is like it's all for them so I spend we spend quality time and I think that's what it is I think it's truly that you know living in the now and living in the present and just enjoying we can enjoy the journey today we don't have to wait for the Milestone we don't have to wait for when we have this house or when we have this or when we have that people waste away their lives chasing waste it all away you have it in front of you scarious been such a joy talking to you today and hearing about The Incredible Journey you you've been on and I'm so excited to be your friend now and watch the next phase and get to know you more through this part and we end every on purpose episode with a final five oh my goodness which are the Fast Five so you have to answer every question in one word to one sentence maximum okay so s ramadani these are your Fast Five final five so the first question is what is the best advice you've ever heard or received everything isn't as good as it seems and everything isn't as bad as it seems oh that's great advice all right question number two what is the wor best advice you've ever had or received I think the worst advice I've ever received is it's honestly been the best advice in some way because it's been the underestimate like the underestimation of like that you can't right or not now and why not now why not me nice uh question number three what's your freedom formula you know freedom of dollar is important you've got to be able to have Financial Freedom it doesn't mean that you've got to have all the money in the bank but Financial Freedom is important so you can feel secure but it's freedom of time like that's what we're living for and if you can get that freedom of time then hopefully you can focus on impact so it's freedom of impact so it's freedom of dollar freedom of time and freedom of impact I love that uh question number four how do you avoid being Lonely at the Top you surround yourself with with real friends you surround yourself with people who also feel just as lonely or in their fields and you you don't have you have a small circle but you have a meaningful Circle and Fifth and final question we this to every guest who's ever been on the show if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow what would it be the one law that I would like the world needs to be led with kindness so before you say anything shitty or nasty or something's about to come out of your mouth like or even in your for your own self just do it with love like do it with extra extra extra extra extra love because if we just love on each other if we love on ourselves I do think that the world would just it would be perfect a s I love your energy ever since the moment we met we met last year at the baby to baby G and we just hid it off and started talking and I got to meet fasel as well and so us three were hanging out and every time I meet you I fall more in love with your energy and Aura and I'm just so grateful for what you're doing for entrepreneurs all over the world and I hope everyone who's been listening and watching follow s on social media subscribe to our podcast watch out for what's next with their Journey with worth Ai and uh s I'm truly grateful to call you a friend and I'm really really happy that you came and Trust us to be on on purpose and I hope everyone who's been listening and watching share your insights the things you're going to try the nuggets of wisdom that Sena shared that resonated with you share them on stories on Tik Tok on Instagram I'm always looking out to see what really connected with your heart and your mind and I think there were so many amazing insights that came out of today Sera thank you so much thank you Jay the feeling is so mutual you're incredible for those that of course your audience knows this but it's hard to meet your Heroes because you don't know like what they're going to be like and I've been a true like I've always the amount of podcasts that I've listened to the amount of daily Jays I've heard in my you know in my career I was almost afraid when I met you and I I told you this I didn't know you know what it was going to be like but you were the same as what I would have imagined but if not better you were just so incredible and I wish you so much success and the world is rooting for you because we need more people like you rooting for us thank you thank you so much s thank you if you love this episode you'll enjoy my conversation with Megan Trainer on breaking generational trauma and how to be confident from the inside out my therapist told me stand in the mirror naked for 5 minutes it was already tough for me to love my body but after the c-section scar with all the stretch marks now I'm looking at myself like I've been hacked but day three when I did it I was like you know what her thighs are cute