now countless men are unable to master this skill and I would argue it's probably the reason why so many men lose the wom they love and why the percentage of singleman is slowly increasing year over-ear that skill is the amount of Tolerance you have in being able to piss your woman off I know I had the fortune opportunity to learn this lesson the hard way with one Fel relationship after the next and that pain and Devastation allowed me to search inward through myself and outward into female psychology and relational Dynamics and if you don't know what I mean sit back because this video is by far the most valuable video you will see on this channel it is something that you must watch over and over again to fully grasp okay so get your notepad and pen out cuz today I'm going to give you the most comprehensive breakdown of why women test men looking at it from a psychological and even spiritual perspective why most men fail these tests miserably to fall out from that as well and how women test men with three Frameworks on how to pass those tests and what happens when you do you know what let's just jump in I I'm just excited let's go the most loving women are the women who will test you the most she wants you to be your fullest most magnificent self she won't settle for anything less she knows it is true of you she knows in your deepest heart you are free you are Shiva anything less than that she will torment and as you know she's quite good at it why do women test you why do they criticize why do they make Jabs why do they create drama over seemingly nothing there are three reasons that I found that we're going to disc discuss but first I have to touch on most people's thought process most men's thought process when they first find out the truths about why woman test for myself included it was this is BS why do they have why do they have to cause this drama it's just a complete arguing you might as well get mad at the birds chirping outside your window or you might as well get mad that it just starts raining randomly one day if I'm calling you out and you are that person just look inside you're arguing with what is you know like I had a friend in college uh grew up in Santa Monica dad was a doctor very entitled it was one of my roommates now one of my best friends I was one of his groomsmen in his wedding but when I first met him he was complaining about everything he was just this food is crap you know the food here sucks oh this place is dirty this hotel is this like just everything wasn't good enough for him like this Prince mentality the way I defined it at first I was like dude you're super entitled like be grateful for what you have but eventually over time when he said these things this Prince mentality I started to find it humorous he was just being himself that's just who he was like oh yeah Peter is that entitled guy right I even said it in the wedding speech how he was that way and I just laughed at it and then I kind of transitioned that's why he picked a very good woman so you know but the next time your wife or girlfriend creates this drama this you know whether it's at you she's criticizing she's just emotional and it doesn't make sense like it's such a small minuscule thing that she's arguing about to you but if you have this total acceptance understanding why she does it you smile you relax you lean in and you show up the way she needs you to in that moment so before I tell you these three reasons why you must understand that that's just who women are they will always test they will do this it's part of the feminine Dynamic the feminine polarity now the first reason why is because women love to experience a range of emotions us men men Us Men We like challenge right and peace like a buildup and then a release think of sex challenge challenge challenge challenge challenge release right ah I can go into uh what do they call it in French the French orgasm like little death right or think of sports up against the other team fighting fighting fighting touchdown okay that's a masculine Paradigm competition exaltation sometimes failure too for a woman oh my God it's all over the place like you you'll hear a man when I talk to a guy when I first like why do you want to save your marriage how does it make your how does your wife make you feel oh great like if I got her back that would feel amazing exaltation for a woman oh my God like he just he touches the depths of my soul I just feel completely at peace and enlightened at the same time like their range of emotional experience is just everywhere they want to experience all the emotions and drama and jealousy and coming home saying Becky at work do you know what she said oh my God right they want to experience those emotions it's just the way they're wired and testing you is just another Outlet of that you see to a woman this peace this nothingness this for you peace is great but for her that Flatline is the death of all emotion she hates that she's bored boredom is a death of Attraction for a woman so when things are too good she's going to stir up stuff and there's another reason why that is but the first reason you must understand is because she wants to experience that range of emotion so know that the second reason why woman will test a man is because she craves Connection in the masculine Paradigm you want challenge we talked about that Purpose Driven give a man a purpose and he has a will to live he who has a wife to live can bear almost any how right purpose is your ultimate reason for being as a man in the masculine Paradise then women can have a purpose and men can connect but women their main purpose birth connection love think of the movies that we tend to lean on stereotypically for us it's War for me it's I love comedy some us but for it's like War right action that hero's journey for woman what is it the romcoms also the murder mysteries which that's a whole another topic for another day the woman's psychological makeup why they love murder mysteries but it's romcoms it's it's you know it's the romantics it's the connection with other other people that's the interplay when when you hear them speak they talk about people and relationships We're Men we're more about talking about doing like our communication is from point A to point B for a woman it's like and this person said this that made them feel this way and that person feel said that that's how therapy is designed as well that's why therapy is better for women it's that's why I have my reason for doing my work with men the way I do but for women it's all about connection right emotional processing and so when she feels disconnected with you because you're distracted because you're focusing on your work as you should you should always put your purpose first we'll talk about that later but when she's feeling disconnected with the person she loves and her ultimate Paradigm is wanting to connect with you to literally create more life children and she's seeking that she's craving that to feel whole when she feels disconnected with you she's not going to say most women won't say hey I need to feel connected with you sometimes she will if she's in a loving disposition she'll hey I want to hug my girlfriend does that I want you know I want love but if that doesn't work she's going to create drama she's going to give you a test we'll talk about all the forms in which they do this and ways they which they do this but when she feels disconnected she's going to create tension between you so you can then break through that tension and connect right she's going to create that drama that that thing between the two of you the argument right the problem the criticism the stabbing of your heart the things she says that you take personally but she's creating that so you can bypass it through to her every moment with her is a test or celebration that celebration is the connection the test is the the disconnection right final reason why women will give you a test from literally from from young girls teasing a boy in college I remember that would happen to me all the time all the way to an old woman nagging at her husband a 50 plus years of marriage the reason they do this is It's a selection mechanism it's a biological imperative they have a woman needs to know that she's with the top Apex male what I call them Apex male the guy who is the top protector and provider for her now for you you can look at your wife's or girlfriend's value by just you know a lot of its looks physical looks but also because the way she is she's happy she's you know she is the way she is we women us men we don't want women to change we want them to stay the way they were when we met them women will challenge you to change okay complete opposites but they need to know constantly they need constant reassurance that you are that Alpha I hate the word Alpha but that Apex man the high value man the man she fell in love with the man that she said you know what I'm going to let you connect with me physically and emotionally we're going to raise kids together I need to make sure though that you are here for me you are the best protector and provider now with our blueprint we're going to go more into it but with our blueprint we're taught as men the provider more give her the house give her the money take care of her but no one really teaches you how to to be the protector how to give her dominance healthy masculinity leadership that's what this video is about to lean into more of the protector traits to spark that attraction the the way she feels about you on the logical level providing for her financially and all these things as a man that makes sense but there's a whole other half of that equation that no one teaches so think about this if we were evolving right this is how it would look a woman the cost of mating with the wrong man meant death not just for her but for her children as well and if you pass her test and she says okay he can protect me cool because he proved these things I'm going to teach you but she needs to make sure that you know 5 years later when you gained some weight you're not on your Edge as much you're becoming lazy you're not pursuing your passion she's like oh is he the same man I fell in love with or is he falling off his purpose you know so so what she'll do is she'll create these tests and if you fail them she says crap he's changed he's not the man I fell in love with I can't trust them anymore but when you do pass them that's when she opens up to you she feels like safe like oh my God okay he's the guy he is the man my man I feel safe I can relax in his presence I don't have to be all guarded and masculine Take the Lead right every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration the same is true about every moment with your woman only doubly so not only is her simple existence a test for you but one of her deepest pleasures and intimacy is testing you and then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge the most erotic moment for a woman is feeling that you are Shiva the Divine masculine unperturbable totally loving fully present and all pervading she cannot move you because you already are what you are with or without her now why are most men failing these tests with women partly because they're not aware of it they're not aware of the reasons why but now you know the reasons why now there are three main reasons why men fail these test the first is what I call the scarcity mentality a lot of men that I work with they will have this you can call it a lot of different things beta male being needy but ultimately they're putting their wife or their girlfriend on a pedestal they think like oh I got lucky to be with her if she were to leave me I don't know what I would do there lot of reasons why this is but right now I'm not going to touch into that too much that's a whole another video I have plenty of topics on how to overcome neediness on the channel you just need to recognize that ultimately at the end of the day you're afraid that if she leaves you you can't go out there and get another woman as good as her and you have all this investment emotionally and psychologically in a time that's invested in that so it's like a sunk cost fallacy I understand that too there's a lot of investment that you don't want to lose all the memories as well and you love her I get that but another component of that is your lack of certainty that you can go attract someone of equal or higher value I'm not saying if you knew you could that would solve all the problems because you're still attached to her psychologically and emotionally but you have to know this that most men they're putting their wife on a pesel they think deep down you think deep down if you look within yourself I know you because I'm looking at myself you don't feel good enough for a lot of reasons and that feeling not good enough she touches on that wound when she criticizes you you're thinking you're trying so damn hard but I'm going to show you why there's a silver lining with this and how to really reorient the way that she's testing you and it's not about you not being good enough okay but let's cut to the core remove everything out of the way the core of why you fail these tests why men fail these tests is they don't feel good enough now the way this shows up there's lots of ways again the nice videos I have on the channel Express this a lot but one of the core ways is sacrificing your boundaries to make her happy you see when she criticizes you you're just like oh my God I don't want to deal with her emotions right now I just want peace I just want her to be happy when she's happy I'm on top of the world when she's not I feel like crap so I will do and say anything just to make her happy I will apologize I will do what she said sometimes you argue with it a little bit but ultimately you just are doing and saying things to get rid of that emotion right you're sacrificing your boundaries in the process perfect example let's say a man makes it his goal in life one of his goals is to start working out lose weight feel good in his body okay and he knows his girlfriend or wife is just on the outs they're emotionally disconnected and then she brings up the idea she's like hey I'm going to go to this thing I want you to come okay say they want to go to this some event with a bunch of friends but he's like oh my God this is an opportunity for me to finally connect with her we've been so disconnected okay um yeah I have this thing planned you know but um I'm I'm going to go with you and you're thinking that's a good idea but women actually do this mostly subconsciously but they will do things where they will give you these breadcrumbs they will see okay I know he's trying to do this thing let me give him what he wants to see if he sacrifices part of who he is and his values and his goals just so he has an opportunity to be with me and she feels that she knows it that's an example of her throwing a test at you and you failing you see the high value man says I would love to go with you but I have this thing already planned I've seen it all the time with dating when I work with guys through dating you know a girl they'll say like hey I want to date with you can we go on to date on Friday are you free the girl will say yeah I'm free okay cool Thursday comes around hey uh can't do Friday can you do Saturday the guy's like yeah I can do Saturday the girl that's like a little test okay he can change his schedule around for me he needs me and so subtle but those subtle tests women do throw out either consciously or otherwise and most men fail them you have to risk the rejection of losing her but you don't because you're scared the second reason why most men will fail tests is because what I call emotional regulation tolerance an ER women have higher ER than men do one of my good friends Caleb Jones talks about this on his channel a lot and it's a pretty interesting perspective you see a woman's ability to sit with negative emotions far outweighs your ability to do so think about it from an early age when she started getting her period right dealing with the cramps a woman has a higher pain tolerance than a lot of men women tend to express their emotions more they have more practice experiencing and sitting in negative emotions someone even argue because of the earlier point I made about wanting to feel every emotion that they even enjoy it on a subtle level not consciously but subconsciously so when she is testing you when she's criticizing you when she's in her dark mood when she's complaining when she's annoying when she's frustrated you just want to get rid of that emotion she Revels in it she can sit there being pissed off at you frustrated annoyed for as long as she wants and your inability to sit with her emotions or your inability to separate your own emotions from her emotions which I'll tell you about more later on how to do that that is another reason why you fa these tests because when she's uncomfortable when she's annoyed you're just like ah I don't like this uh go back to the way you were nice and happy making me feel good you're allowing her emotions to affect you you are living in reaction to her which is a femin trate yourself you have to cultivate the ability as I said in the beginning of this video to piss her off to be tolerant of her own emotions to separate her emotions from yours this is called State transference when your emotions react to hers and vice versa and in successful relationships between a man and a woman she needs to be more in reaction to you she needs to fall into your war frame not you into hers if she gets pissed off and annoyed if you get pissed off and annoyed back you lose and a lot of men don't have this ability they lack the skills and the emotional intelligence and Acumen to be able to do this to separate themselves from their wife's or girlfriend's emotions the third and final reason why most men will fail these tests is because they try to solve the test with logic not emotion this is probably the biggest one that you're going to resonate with the most look when she's experiencing this torn natal of emotions dust is flying everywhere she can't see the logic imagine there's this like black button in that storm and you're like oh my gosh press the button and the storm will stop if you just see things this way or if you do this thing the problem solved she can't see the damn button or even if she did she doesn't give a damn right when she's in her emotional mind she cannot see logic right her attention her blood in her brain is Flowing to the thalmus the amig all these different parts of the brain that are emotionally active not logical she doesn't give a damnn and you know this but in your mind you're like if she could if I was her and I could just see it this way problem solved she doesn't want solution she wants support and when you you are trying to give her logical support what she's taking that as even though you have good intentions she's taken that as you don't care about me you just want to get rid of me you want to get rid of my emotions you don't accept me you don't understand I'm not emotionally connected to you again connection right I would say the biggest reason why a lot of men rely on logic is because a lot of those tests especially a lot of menit they have the ability to respond emotionally when it's not about them but once the test is about you oh no no no no no that's not what I meant that's not my intention you shouldn't feel that way here this is what I meant all she here is is excuse defense excuse defense excuse defense all right your woman knows your weaknesses better than anybody she knows know where you will falter and give up she knows the degree of mediocrity you will settle for and she knows your true capacity as a full man a man of free Consciousness and love her gift if she is a good woman is to test you with her darkest moods over and over and over until your Consciousness is unperturbed by feminine Challenge and you are able to pervade her with your love just as you are here to pervade the world in response to your Fearless Consciousness she will drench your world in love and light so how will she test you okay it all comes down to one concept and I'll give you three story examples on how they do this now it all comes down to framing right a frame a frame I want you to see is the way you see the world it's your perceptions it is the emotions the thoughts and the actions all wrapped together that is your frame okay now not only the way you see the world but every individual event you see different people can see different events differ that's it makes life beautiful we all have different perspectives on the same objective reality right as an example nothing to do with really men and women but I remember I was in Thailand with one of my pretty good friends from college and I'm a pretty optimistic guy this guy is a golden retriever in manifest in a human being right he's even blonde the most positive guy you've ever met and this whole entire trip I'm so glad I went with him there were so many moments of stress where I saw the event in a negative light but he saw completely differently this all came to a head when we bought this um whitewater rafting right trip and I was all you saw all the photos like people are like all these giant waves like flashing around I'm like oh my gosh I'm scared but I'm so excited this is going to be amazing and then all of a sudden right we get there it's a long road onto this Backwoods in Thailand and I'll Comes This 14-year-old kid doesn't speak any English we're like oh my God this kid's going to lead us on these dangerous whitewater rapids holy crap okay this got more dangerous but like let's go right we get in we get in the boat we're all ready we're all we have these like helmets this life jacket and we start going down and it's like okay we're going down he's like all right here we go ready we turn the corner and we think this is it we hear the water and it is the softest [Music] smoothest calest water you've ever seen we went down at a snail's pace and the whole time like okay well this sucks but like maybe there's some more coming we're there for like 30 minutes and there is no movement at all we like hit a Little Rock and we go down right to the bottom almost like we're almost done right and I'm sitting there and I'm Fe me I'm like this is a waste of money like oh my God like how could this is such a waste of my day too like we spent all this money all this time and we're here sitting and like we didn't get the experience that I expected right and we turned the corner and we're going down this flat part of the stretch super slow again the water is literally yay high right and we turn and we see this little girl like washing playing in the water and she's like above me cuz we're sitting so low and Tyler loses it he starts laughing his ass off he's like this is amazing like oh my God it's so funny like how we paid all this money we thought we were going to get this experience of running around and like there's these like little girl this little girl in the water like watching us with like helmets andu stuff on in the life jacket and she's there staring at us like washing her body and same event two different perspectives Tyler saw it in humorous light and it cracked me and I went inter into his frame I started laughing I was like oh my God I can see why you think this is funny I Ed into his frame I saw the humor in it when before I was having a horrible time so that's an example of framing right Tyler thought this is funny the emotion was humorous he saw the perspective of how like the contrast of what we thought versus what we got but I took that contrast and I was like when against what I wanted right completely different perspective and frame so when it comes to your wife or girlfriend or any woman in general that you're trying to date what she's going to do is she's trying to knock you off your frame she wants to knock it down because take this box right this frame she wants to be inside of that frame she wants to be with a man that says this is the way it is we're on my ship we're going this way I'm the leader this is the way the world works I'm going to show you the world right Aladdin but literally and what she'll try to do she'll say no I'm not going I don't see that way that's BS you're so lazy she try to knock you off the way you see yourself and the way you see the world because what she wants is for you to keep that strong frame okay let me give you some examples let's go over dating example first I remember when I was first learning how to talk to girls back in like early college I wore this something called peacocking where I wore this like necklace right and it like stuck out and it was like just like this giant chain necklace not my style at all I felt insecure about it I walk up to this girl start talking to her she goes that necklace is stupid did I think this necklace was stupid I wasn't sure I was insecure about it so I reacted to her I said oh no oh well yeah I just got it at like you know my friend gave it to me and I I'm I'm not going to wear it ever again it's kind of just as a joke I reacted right I fell into it I'll give plent of the examples of how to pass that stuff but I I'll give you an example right now right now there is actually a really good way to pass that test and I'll give you plenty of examples in the next portion of this video but that's an example because if I passed that test she would have been like oh okay he doesn't care about my opinion right he knows who he is as a man he's confident that's what confidence is having that frame knowing that no matter what anyone says this is who I am this is what I want this is the way I see the world another story example of a client uh his wife when they begin arguments she would say I'm leaving or I'm over it I'm done she would shave these little words and for a man when he heard that for him the client he would react like what do you mean you're leaving what does that mean you're done what is done mean oh fine fine just just leave why why are you leaving right falling into her frame okay that's another small example let's go into a larger one in the relationship context the biggest one that most of my clients will face the biggest test they will face is when she says I want a divorce or I'm done with you or I want to break up because in that moment if you say okay or fine I'm done from worse most guys will start to bake and plead try to convince her logically right wait that is the ultimate test for most men in the relationship she'll say if I leave I'm about to leave you right now how are you going to react if you don't have me anymore are you going to cave in are you going to become needy are you going to fall into my frame are you going to become reactive to me she doesn't want that to decode this last test what she's really saying when she wants a divorce is she's saying I'm doubting the future of this relationship I'm not sure I need you to have more certainty for me because I don't know this can work out you've lost your way in a lot of ways and I want you to step up and be the man that gets me back can you be that man I want a divorce right that's how that comes out and that is the way to view that it is a test because ultimately if you were that man the one she fell in love with the one she truly wants the ones she knows you are capable of being she's seen glimpse of it she has hope saying she wants to end it is one of the biggest tests she'll give you how are you going to step up the feminine always seems chaotic and complicated from the perspective of the masculine the next time you notice yourself trying to fix a woman so that she will no longer be chaotic relax and give her love by touching her and telling her that you love her when she is this way Embrace her or wrestle with her or scream and yell for the heck of it but make no effort to end that which pisses you off practice love instead of trying to bring an end to the Quality that bothers you you can't escape the tussle with the feminine learn to find humor in the unending emotional drama the feminine seems to enjoy so much the love that you magnify May realign her behavior but your effort to fix her and your frustration never will the world and your woman will always present you with unforeseen challenges you are either living fully giving your gift in the midst of those challenges even today or you are waiting for an imaginary future which will never come so how do you pass these tests again three ways you can pass a test each way is more advanced than the next okay the first way the easiest way to not fail the test you won't necessarily pass the tests to get more attraction but you will stop failing them which is a huge step you must be the shore okay what does that mean you must not react go back to that feminine masculine Paradigm as the man you are that solid frame you were unmoving you do not react to her she is the ocean that's what the feminine is sometimes she can brush up against you be soft and supple and loving and easy and caressing and happy and oh it feels so good but then when the storms of emotion rile up right smashing into to the shore and you as the man she can have all the drama she can yell she can scream she can do whatever she wants you are there you are unmoving you are solid and who you are and then she could trust you again am I right or am I right because you have been reactive you've broken down you are feminine that is the feminine being reactive you can experience your emotions you can be vulnerable you can be expressive but not through reaction to her there is a big huge difference the second way to pass her test is to respond to her emotional core so we already talked about how one of the ways to fail the test is to use logic so what instead do you do all right the first most important thing before I give you the language and the words to use and the framework to follow is to have Attunement mindfulness that she's in those emotions you are not cowering down you're not in your head thinking what to say to get rid of them you are leaning into the emotions The Narrative that is going on in your head is give me more I can take all of your emotions and what is she feeling right now how is she how is she literally feeling put yourself in her perspective Sometimes women will give you the beautiful gift of telling you exactly how she feels a lot of women don't do that and they make you guess they make you they want you to know understand her emotions and reflect them back to her her not robotically like um you're feeling this aren't you it's like man you must feel so annoyed right now I I totally get why you're pissed off I do I really do like this is not me fabricating it I understand why you're frustrated if I was you I really would feel that way it makes sense and thank you for sharing that because I do know how you feel now and that's important to me there's that versus um you feel frustrated because the girl didn't text you back like right and it's it's hard for a lot of guys because this is a new a new skill but knowing how to say or reflect her emotions back to her to be that mirror to her is the second best way to pass these tests now there's a little cavey out there because a lot of guys when they hear that skill they're thinking well what if the test is about me you need to get out of yourself first okay even if the test is About You by understanding her emotions you're not agreeing with her right you're saying oh you feel this because I did this thing you're not saying yeah I meant to do it I meant to make you feel that way her emotions are her emotions not yours but you're going to still reflect them back to her so as an example if she feels pissed off because you didn't you didn't do what you said you would do and she's like I'm so pissed off like I can never trust you I can never trust you ever again you're not saying yeah you can never trust me ever again no you're not saying that you're saying you're not agreeing with her frame you're saying I see you must be so pissed off because I didn't do that you're saying what it is that's objectively true right you're not you're not saying you agree with her perspective you're saying you feel feel this way because I did this thing you're taking ownership that yet your behavior did make her feel that way you're agreeing with it right it doesn't mean that you admit that you have that intention to make her feel that way there's a big difference see you're owning up to your behavior but she's owning up to her emotions okay now the best way to pass test the most advanced way and I say this with caution because a lot of men don't have the social Savant social acument to do this and it takes practice and a strong frame to be able to do it okay remember I I said at the beginning of the video your ability to piss her off is a vital skill and to be okay with that the best way to pass your test is to use humor okay now there's a technique called agree and amplify a squared I spoke with a client today knew client I'm working with and he said that his wife well they were like in the separation process that's why he's talking to me and his wife they share an audible account okay and he's been reading books on intimacy and connection they were going on a walk together and she found out because they share the audible account she's like that's disgusting you're disgusting how I don't want to have sex with you ever again right again she's in her emotions she's saying things that she doesn't mean but how she feels in the moment he didn't respond that poorly he said you you know he's a second level you feel disgusted oh I told totally understand why you feel that way that's not my intention not bad when here response the best way is to the lens of humor because nothing conveys more that you're not reactive that you are in your frame than conveying that humor what he should have said with the agree and amplifies that you take her statement what she says about you in her test you agree with it and then you amplify it so it looks something like this yeah I yeah I'm the worst like I am so disgusting I don't even know I can't even look at myself in the mirror honestly and then you can go into talking and understanding her emotions but you start off with that humor that is the best most advanced way to respond to her test okay so let's go back to the necklace example right I took the necklace and she's like oh your necklace is stupid yeah I got it from stupid RS actually it's like throw it around my neck catch it you know 50 50% off man it only cost $200 and that's not stupid because that's an awesome freaking necklace not the best humor but the point of it is that you are amused by it right that's the point of this humor you are not saying this humor statement to make her laugh you're saying the humor statement to make make you laugh that is the importance right you're taking it lightly you're still taking what she says seriously but through a humorous lens and let's face it when she is being reactive when she is passing not passing this when she is giving you her test she is in her emotional brain she's in her childlike brain so you can respond with humor you are allowed to Josh says it's okay Josh says that's the best Paradigm to have when passing our test okay now this does take skill so I want you to practice sit out maybe with some other people before your wife unless you feel like you do know your wife's sense of humor if you can make her laugh which I hope you can after years being with her trust me try it out little caveat here before we end up she may be more reactive at first because it's something new she'll be like no I don't want you to have this high value I don't see you that way another test don't let her break your frame right in the very least do not react to her now if you want a whole comprehensive breakdown on how to win your wife back by your yourself there's this video right here that you can check out thank you for watching the video and smash like if you are new here subscribe and I will see you in the next video my man cheers