all right well it's so exciting to see everybody on here today I'm going to let Jess go ahead and get us started and then keep using the chat if you've got any comments questions or anything we would love to hear from you there so take it away Jess yes welcome everyone uh my name is Jess Ray I am with magnet culture and today I'll be joining Cara and the rest of you um towards the beginning and the end of today's webinar So today we're going to be focusing on kind of what value is like in our organization and we know sometimes it's hard to feel valued when no one's really taken the time to get to know you and employees often feel the same way and are more prone to walk out the door without that personal connection in the workplace and man that happens so quickly so here um today we're going to focus on a few strategies and tools to help you as a leader in your organization get to know your team and help your team get to know one another so Kara is going to spend the next few minutes sharing your thoughts on this topic well as well as some strategies so be sure to stay for the entire session because we do have a special offer about our new training program at the end for each of you so this is a recorded webinar you can find all of our recordings from our past webinars and even todays to share with your team and use as a little training tidbit if you will at youtube.com forward slash magnet culture so check out this year's past webinars we'll get this uploaded in the next few days and Kara I'll pass it off to you awesome thanks Jess all right so so many leaders have been telling me especially here just in the last few you know few months in particular they are saying Kara hey I love I love that you're telling me what I should do I love that you have all these strategies and you're hearing all these best practices of what's working and what's not and I appreciate that you're speaking to our group or you know whether it's at a conference or in the company whatever but they're saying but I need help actually doing it because I am so stinking busy that I'm pulled in a million different directions I I want to do these retention strategies and I want to check in with my people and get to know them better and do more team building but I don't have time to figure that out and really to even know where to start so we decided today's webinar is going to be tools tools tools and we are talking downloadable templates and just hit the ground running you don't really even have to think a whole lot before you can just start using these tools so all the tools that I'm going to talk about today are of course in our super secret hidden magnet bolt okay so Jess will pop that in the chat for you you just go to magnetvault.com and then of course put in your email address it's going to unlock this Vault for you and you will be able to download not only the three plus a bonus tool that I have for you today but we have revamped our vault just in the last few months and now it's got all kinds of those video Snippets you can send to your leadership team or your managers for for kind of micro training it's got a ton of downloadables I think we're up to I don't know 10 or 15 that are in there now as well as some eBooks and many many series type videos and and books and all these things okay so check that out and of course you know how the email system works it is going to put you on our email list which being on this webinar today already put you on the email list but if you ever want to opt out you can we don't email a whole lot it's mostly just these webinar invitations and some occasional articles blogs podcasts and and things that serve as a tool for you so go ahead to magnetvault.com get in there um take a look around and start downloading as I start talking about these different tools so before I get into the three official tools that that we mentioned for today's webinar I want to say that one of the biggest things I am asking senior leaders and Executives as well as mid-level managers and even supervisors to start with right now is a listening tour okay because with everyone being so busy first things first is we don't even have time to check in with our folks and really hear what's going on and then oftentimes I'm also hearing from the front line I'm hearing that the leaders as they climb the ladder are becoming more and more disconnected so you've heard me talk about that with emotional intelligence and other things how over time if you are not really careful and intentional you can absolutely become disconnected from your front line and from even the folks who work directly underneath you if you are super busy or or maybe you're just working on higher level things you're in strategic meetings now you're in a lot of meetings now you're working behind spreadsheets now and you're not on the front line doing the projects or the work or the caregiving or manufacturing or whatever field you're in you're not doing the productive job as much as uh as we used to or it could be that you are actually on the line doing the job because you're so short staffed and now there's just not time to check in with people because you're even more productive than you were when you were in meetings and being a manager or director right does this make sense so where I am suggesting is you start with a listening tour and for a while I was calling this an executive listening tour because I was speaking to leadership teams and Senior Executives trying to get them to go listen to the front line and reconnect with those folks but now I've realized that we really need to do this listening tour at every level of leadership okay so I've kind of switched my language here if you've heard me talk about it or seen any of my posts online that now I just call it the leadership listening tour and I want you to think about some questions that you can go out there and ask and guess what there's a tool and a template for that you don't even have to sit and think about questions yourself one of the tools in the vault is an executive uh or or leadership listening tour guide okay it's a listening tour guide and it's going to give you these questions you don't have to ask all of them but some of the questions let me I'm cheating here I've got them written down next to me so some of those questions are you know tell me about a great day at work recently what did that look like and that's going to tell you what really drives them and jazzes them up and and things like that and then another question to follow that up is and tell me about a frustrating day what did that look like what was so frustrating for you and if there was any other support or changes that could have been made to make that day less frustrating what could that have looked like right so you kind of can start positive of tell me what's going well how are things going here and then dive into and what's what's not so great what needs to be improved and how can I support that okay now these questions might sound to some of you a lot like stay interview questions where you touch base with your staff and ask those kind of questions and it is it's very similar to that but this listening tour that I'm suggesting is I want to make sure that the leaders who go ask these questions are not going on a defend yourself and debate type of tour okay we say listening because I want you to ask these questions and then zip it okay just listen to folks now if they ask you why are we so short staffed or why is this a policy or a problem or why can't I you know you can answer that but we don't want this to be a defend yourself tour when they start to say well I'm understaffed and I don't have the resources and our team doesn't have what it needs and you need to do this and you need to do that because I know working with leaders every single day I know that the leaders are trying their best okay but we have to stop for a minute put ourselves in the staff shoes and realize even though we're like that you know the duck analogy where like we look okay calm cool collected up above and then paddling like hell underneath right so it you know sometimes that can come across that way but we absolutely need to make sure we're putting ourselves in their shoes because it's all about the employee experience and the employee perception you might think oh I can't believe you're upset about that I've been trying I'm working on it do you not know how hard I'm working and how much lost sleep I'm getting because of this issue don't defend yourselves just listen and then acknowledge saying I bet that is frustrating and I can only imagine what it feels like on your side because I know we share some of the same frustrations and of course we we care about this we are working on it but I hadn't thought of it from your perspective and how much that is impacting you for example okay so validate their feelings let them tell you about those difficult situations or frustrating challenges and whatnot um and and just listen just be there for them instead of trying to go but but but but but okay so really important that we go do that um some other questions that you can ask here are about recognition do they feel they're getting recognized in the way they deserve and how would they like to be recognized moving forward if you haven't already asked that kind of question right is there anything new you want to learn you you know skills or practice that you want to try any cross training that you want because we all know as well that some people they just get bored in the job and they're looking for another job because they want to grow they want to do more things and of course we're busy and we'd love for them to just do the same job over and over and over because that's how we build efficiency and profitability but we know that if we want to keep folks we need that growth as well so go into your team talk to your team one-on-one make sure that they're each given some time to give you their thoughts and go on that listening tour the executives and leaders that I have already heard back from in the last few months that have done this they said it was amazing it was so eye-opening for them because in their words they said wow I was making a lot of assumptions and I thought for example that the job was the same as it was when I was in that role five years 10 years 20 years ago because I started my career where they are and and I worked my way up so I just said well I know that job I used to do that job and then when they talked to the front line they absolutely said that is not the same job that it used to be so for example um you know my work is industry agnostic I work in all different fields one of those areas that I have some clients right now that I'm working with it happens to be in senior care and so you know assisted living nursing home space and when we talk to some of the caregivers the CNAs that are on the front line they actually Express to us to me and the leaders of that community that the CNA job itself is so much harder than it used to be because if you look at the Acuity of the residents and patients that they serve that Acuity means how sick is a person and today we're seeing a lot sicker patients and residents that are living in those communities and so it takes a lot more care to take care of that person instead of just supporting them it is a lot more caregiving that's Hands-On and not to mention they were talking the CNAs we're also talking about how demanding their customers are both the residents and patients that they serve but also the family members who come and visit or who demand higher quality Care in a certain way right and so I just want to let you know no matter who your customers are chances are that even just serving your customers even just getting out there what services and products you offer at your organization it could be more difficult than ever for the front line to do that you can think of the same thing in Hospitality in um you know retail Food Service I mean think about the customers who are just demanding more and expecting more and coming back to complain or and what things redone or done their way and and all of that so just don't make assumptions about what the job is like today go ask about exactly how has the job changed especially in these last three to five years I've seen a lot of folks in different fields tell me this job just isn't what it used to be pre-covered right pre-pandemic it it has changed the expectations the requirements the regulations whatever that is so don't assume and ask ask and then remember zip it zip it listen listen listen uh my first boss used to joke with me because of course I'm a talker and he used to tell me early in my career Cara you have two ears and only one mouth for a reason so listen more kiddo all right um also when you go on a listening tour or you send out any level of your managers out on this listening tour I want you to anticipate intimidation okay now what I mean is it's very likely that if managers just go out to the front line and start asking these questions they're gonna like what do you wanna know why are you asking what what's going on here right if you don't already have that kind of demeanor where you're constantly talking with your folks and checking in with your folks that can be pretty jarring to someone and also I had an executive not too long ago and when I mentioned this kind of approach he said well I don't understand I mean I'm not intimidating and then I said uh pardon me sir but you don't get to decide whether you are intimidating or not that is for other people to decide and it was funny because this gentleman happened to be six three six four he was CEO of the company and did not think he was intimidating because he smiled a lot and so yes being Smiley and positive and approachable certainly we can work on those so that our team does feel comfortable coming to us often with their concerns and ideas and issues but when you go out and ask these questions it's it's very likely you might not get their real answer right up front and the first time that you ask so you're going to have to build trust and maybe even just kind of dip your toe in the questioning and listening water at first instead of sitting down and Grilling somebody with a handful of questions okay so even just asking the these in little one-on-one interactions that you have with folks and not making it sound so official that well this is my listening tour time some that kind of kind of comes across too like a state interview that's the same way if you're going to implement stay interviews which are more formal it's it's best to start slow with those rather than just jump in because people just shake their head and go um I don't know that they really want to know the truth and we have to build trust and make sure that they know they're not going to get in trouble you're not going to gossip and tell their answers to everyone else you know you're not going to use it against them if they do complain about things we have to build that trust so just anticipate that you might be intimidating and you don't have to be 6'4 and have a title to be intimidating I like to think I'm not intimidating because I am smiley and approachable and talkative and you know very personable with folks I I even talk about work and life stuff not just keep everything professional but I can still be intimidating as well maybe I'm older than the person maybe because I have my own business you never know sometimes it's a gender thing that people get intimidated by or whatever it can be your title your stature your approach anything so just try to break down those walls as best you can and slowly build trust by asking just a few questions at a time at first before you dive a whole lot deeper okay all right so are you gonna go on a listening tour how many of you give me your raised hands give me your thumbs up give me your um your chat box like yes you or somebody at your organization you are going to go on a listening tour you're gonna send some managers out on a listening tour to do this okay great yeah I see a bunch of hands raised thank you thank you awesome okay good times you can you can put those hands back down if it'll let you so thanks for sharing okay so now remember that tool with the questions and it's even got a little sheet where you can take notes that listening tour guide is in the vault then here are the three tools that we wanted to share with you today that are also right at your fingertips super easy to get started and to implement right out the gate so we all know if you have been to any of my programs and webinars or read my book staying power or anything you know that new hires tend to be our greatest Flight Risk okay so we know that they do not have deep roots in the organization yet that are keeping them there they do not have golden handcuffs that are keeping them there yet and if they had the guts to leave their last company to come to you guess what they have guts to leave you to go on to the next shiny opportunity so if we think about the new hire experience with folks coming in and we want to talk specifically about getting to know those folks do you have a get to know you come conversation or even a worksheet Okay so we've saved you time we created the worksheet you can just download it it's also great even to send to your current team members not just the new hires but to gauge um you know different aspects of your current team and let them see those as well because this Tool It's called The get to know you sheet all right now you know in an interview you cannot ask do you have children are you married right we cannot ask those questions that's illegal to ask personal questions like that but once somebody starts at the job with you you totally ask them all about themselves you don't want to force it upon them that they share all the details but in the get to know you sheet you can ask general questions like tell me about your family tell me about your hobbies those types of things and some important things to put in there are also asking about your asking about your um the way you like to be recognized for example okay and asking about when I recognize you what how do you want to be rewarded even some people want a thank you note some people want a gift card do you can you ask them if I were to gift something to you where do you shop what would you love to get as a gift card or a gift and that can be really really helpful as well so that you can personalize personalize those gifts and rewards and even just recognition even if you're not giving a gift but some people like public recognition Some People Want it more private okay so absolutely Kim just chimed in and said she was she heard me talk about the get to know you sheet a long time ago and implemented it back then so this isn't new right Kim let the cat out of the bag this isn't brand new but I'm just reminding you of this tool that's in our vault and easily accessible she said her team loves it and it's been a great way to show them appreciation as well right to personalize that appreciation is so important now I will tell you I am not a Starbucks person and it's not that I don't like Starbucks I'm not a coffee drinker at all I don't really go to any coffee shops and yet people will gift me Starbucks gift cards and that's a great gesture and I appreciate that but I'm not a coffee drinker so I'm probably if I'm honest I'm probably just gonna re-gift that gift card uh to somebody who I know who does like coffee and does love to go there so really really uh simple and yet impactful as Kim added there as well so thanks for sharing that all right so get to know you sheets are great for the new hires then we want to go to we have a new uh two minute employee check-in list that's in there because a lot of the managers are telling me that wow you know Cara I can't even tell you the last time that I actually checked in with every one of my team members some of them come to me quite often and we talk all the time and others I just let them do their thing and tell them if you need me let me know but I don't really go to them and check in because they're pretty autonomous or maybe they're more of an introvert and they just want to work on their own and and don't need as much supervision or there's lots of different reasons that that could be right so sometimes we need to keep track of when we have last checked in with folks and I'm not saying check in on that them like how are things going and is the project on time and you know are there any problems that's checking in on somebody I'm talking about checking in with them right there there's a slight difference but it's really big if you think about it because it isn't just performance and business and results oriented it's checking in with them how are you how are things going not just projects but in general are you keeping your head above water is there anything you know that I can do to support you personally or professionally today you know people are bringing their whole self to work and so we as managers and leaders have to be prepared to support folks that maybe they're distracted today because of some things happening at home and it's not as easy for those folks to just leave it at the door as we used to teach back in the late 1900s okay so very different kind of relationship that we have with our staff today and so I encourage you to really download that checklist and make sure that you keep track I think it has little date markers so you can say when you last checked in with your people instead of just checking in on them and what a lot of managers are doing that I I see with my own eyes is that drive by check-in you know you know what that is I'm sure you're doing it some of you anyway it's like oh hey Shelly yeah how are things going you're good all right I'm headed to a meeting but hey you holler if you need me that's a drive-by check-in and sometimes those can do more damage than good because it tells that other person oh well she's too busy for me so I don't I don't want to bother her and I don't want to go you know mess up her day or anything because she seems really really really busy and she doesn't want to deal with my little problem right even though that employee's little problem might be the reason that they're about to quit okay so we have to listen to our folks and of course be as approachable as possible but try not to just do the drive-by check-ins and say oh yeah I talked to her yesterday she's good oh yeah I checked in I checked in did you really I don't know you know you know your people but but maybe take that to the next level and really schedule some time uh it could be formal where you're checking in and putting that on everyone's schedule or it could just be a reminder on your schedule to go check in with folks okay on a regular basis really really important to find that time and it doesn't have to be 30 or 60 Minutes it can be 5 10 15 minutes but a 30 second drive-by is probably not doing the trick okay so be careful with that one all right and then your third and final tool that we wanted to share today is how do we get our team to get to know our team a little bit better and to check in with them and build more trust build better camaraderie on the team we really want folks to have each other's back you know I work with a lot of groups who have to schedule themselves okay whether that's manufacturing Health Care different groups construction groups that have to cover certain projects and things like that and the groups that have the most trust with one another they can reach levels of trust where they can do self scheduling on a team and figure out how to cover all the shifts and and things like that and when someone is out either on vacation or unexpectedly they can absolutely jump in and be there for those people and they they don't get upset about it there's no animosity of oh well she's out so I've got to pull a double you know it's not about that it's like oh my goodness so and so can't be here I'll jump in I'll take care of that shift I'll I'll finish that and get it done by the deadline right those types of things so I've seen high levels of Trust on teams where they really appreciate one another and have each other's back and yet now I'm not seeing as much of that I think part of it is because of all the turnover that we've had and how busy the managers are and how busy the staff is just getting the job done but we have to put a bit more intentionality around building those team relationships and making sure that we're checking in with team members and they're checking in with each other as well because that's when we're going to have more of that attitude of I got you I'll take care of that no you have a two o'clock kindergarten program for your kid who's a reindeer in the holiday show you go I will cover you well while you go watch your little reindeer uh sing and dance Okay so really important that we try to get to that level so a tool that you can use for that is these two minute team building questions again in the vault download the two minute team building questions for your team and then that can be done at every staff meeting or at maybe a quick daily huddle and again these are two minutes or less where you just go around the group and ask some questions okay I think the first couple questions on there it's like dogs or cats or both or neither right and that helps people find commonalities with one another because when a new person comes on the team you can't just say all the names of the team members and who's who they want to get to know those folks and today's new Workforce really wants to find work friends they want to find some of those folks who have the same interests the same hobbies that they have and that they can really get along with throughout the work day to build that camaraderie and and become friends at work so uh first one I think is cats or dogs then there's you know if you have a chance to travel do you want beaches or mountains right that kind of thing I heard another good one the other day I don't even think it's on our list but someone said a manager said I always love to ask my team members in a meeting what was your first car because it always has a story you know most people it was like not a great car uh when they got their very first car and so a lot of people have funny stories about breaking down or learning to fix it or whose car they inherited uh from their family or whatnot and so there's there's just questions like that that we can ask about some of their history some interest that they have hobbies travel if they get a chance to do that um it's really important that we help our team find those commonalities because anybody who knows me knows I'm a dog lover and so as soon as I find out that someone else loves dogs too we are now BFFs okay so now in the break room or the hallway I can say oh my gosh I heard you love dogs what kind of dog do you have and what's their name and how old and and and and and and all of a sudden we've built this friendship now the cat people are going to take me a little longer but but that's okay I'm not anti-cat it's just gonna take me a little longer to find some other commonalities and and things that we can really uh dive deeper on and chat about okay so these are really simple tools you all and I know that I've asked you to spend some time that's going to be the the deal breaker right that's going to be your obstacle moving forward but hopefully now that you have the PDF that you just downloaded while I was talking hopefully and maybe even printed it I mean these are all printable documents as well but they they should be able you can use them on your phone and and your tablet or your computer so now you have that tool you have the questions right in front of you so just starting to put that as a habit into your team meetings any one-on-ones you have put the reminders on your calendar for me if it is not on my calendar it does not get done so if I need to call someone check in with someone think about something just sit and reflect and observe and and brainstorm about things it has got to be on my calendar so I encourage you to think about yourself your own planning and think about is it calendar is it Post-it notes is it an assistant or somebody else that can help remind you and kind of hold you accountable to do some of these things hopefully you can Implement at least one or two or maybe all four of these strategies for getting to know your people better okay and of course the ultimate goal is reducing that unnecessary employee turnover and these are just a few quick easy ways that we can do that okay so all right um Jess I'd love to send things back over to you for a few minutes awesome Cara that was fantastic and just to kind of repeat what she had mentioned I I have clients every day tell me that time is the barrier but I had one client that said something that was really powerful she said we're now using time as an excuse and so we really have to carve and put on our calendar 15 minutes a week 30 minutes an hour can you spare an hour to kind of work on that team building component so we know that again time is a huge obstacle for companies so can I get a yes in the chat or a little clock emoji that now that zoom's upgraded right we can throw a little clock emoji in there um our leadership Essentials program is the one I wanted to mention to you guys today it has really taken off um it really exploded this year particularly is a turnkey training program that provides the training that the managers need to retain today's new Workforce and so the program trains leaders in a format that works with that busy schedule time right so participants will watch an on-demand 30-minute content video at their convenience and then they come together in a 90-minute facilitated discussion that works through the issues that are brainstorming they're role-playing they're breaking out into little groups and then after that they have a four-week action guide that literally spoon feeds them how to implement all of the strategies that they learned in that 90-minute session in the content video too we launched this program last year and one of our first clients implemented and changed company policies that the team came up with after one of their facilitated discussions so they're really making these classes are really helping change culture components of organizations today we are going to give a special offer of purchasing three classes and you get one free but you have to purchase within the next 30 days so you can contact me just at magnetculture.com or Solutions at magnetculture.com and just type that you've got some interest in that and I can go through the classes with you and how that works and planning it and all that jazz to get four classes for the price of three several of our clients are choosing to run those classes virtually through this leadership Essentials program and we really have had such great success with it um so we do have some questions rolling in but if you have one specifically for Cara now is the time uh to throw that q a in that little box down there at the bottom um the first so I'll just go ahead and move to this first question Kara this says um how do you navigate listening to or getting to know an employee who seems to not want a personal connection with you as a leader maybe they're a little reserved or maybe they had a bad experience in the past so how do you how do you navigate that that listening to yeah interesting and you know we actually just got a second question people think alike right we just got a second question that's similar what are your tips to connect and build a team if the majority of your team either works remote or are introverts right so that definitely makes it different so okay so uh you know if you've got folks who don't seem to want to talk personal remember there is a good chunk of our Workforce that still prefers to separate personal from professional okay and we need to respect that and and be fine with that as a leader I struggle with that because I want to be friends with all my team and even though I'm their boss I am much more of an egalitarian leader that just wants to know how was your weekend and how's your sick mom and you know those kind of things but we have to respect that some people really want to keep those things um private or just kind of separate they don't bring their work stuff in or sorry they don't bring their home stuff into work and they don't take their work stuff home in a lot of cases so just be aware of that um others it it may just be that it takes time time to open those Gates and and to really build trust maybe they worked for a manager who learned about their home life and then used it against them or you know just didn't speak appropriately about those things at work and so they're kind of I don't know if I want to tell you this stuff and whatnot so if it is somebody you know there's some that may want to separate personal from professional others it may just take time to slowly build that trust and to dive deeper into more of that friendship or getting to know them as far as introverts as well specifically oftentimes they want that conversation to just be one-on-one and to not be an open put on the spot you know those I'm glad that Amy asked this because those two minute team building questions the extroverts love that we think as we talk and and we can come up with that usually more quickly but introverts maybe at the start of the meeting say hey our team minute two minute team building question that we're going to ask at the end is going to be this so think about your answer and then when you get to the end of the of the staff huddle then you say all right let's hear everybody's answers and that way it does give them some time to process or if you're going to ask everybody at once maybe start with extroverts and give the introverts a minute to to think about that um remote work that's like a whole other other presentation but I will definitely say you have to be more intentional with team building on a remote team than ever before in an office because there is no water cooler there is no hallway pass by there is no pop your head into their office and check on things or tell them about your weekend that doesn't exist and many of you know if you know my team we have been remote for 10 years in fact my staff member who's been with me the longest that's one of my right hand folks she is two time zones away from me and people say oh my gosh how can you how can you do that how can you not only work like that but how can you build trust and camaraderie and everything and I'll tell you we are super close and it's because we start our meetings because we're virtual we start all of our meetings with five to ten minutes of news and updates and chit chat okay now I'm really process oriented and I want to jump in to get things done but I have to remember that this is really really important it is valuable and it is productive time do not think that chit chatting is not productive time particularly when you are a remote team because that's really the only chance you get at that water cooler talk and checking in with folks so you have to kind of build that into your team meeting structure and even your one-on-one time with folks and then we still do some people have have gone away from this but we still do a virtual happy hour every other week we actually changed it from four o'clock back to one o'clock because we had some folks that you know finish work early and leave to go get kids and whatnot so we re-asked the whole team what's the best time for everybody we did a little poll and we found that Thursdays at one o'clock every other week was a good time because some people could even eat their lunch while they're on the happy hour and and um and it's optional we don't force people to come to that but those who want to get to know their team members we Chit Chat and we are not allowed to talk about work right Jess we try you know we try I know just will say I just have one quick question we go not going to happen nope you got to wait till the end of the hour that's right so yeah we we're very intentional about uh about giving the remote team that space and that time and just since you all brought it up I I will say I'm seeing all of this you know a lot of people are going back into the office we've got this big wave of corporate groups that are pulling people back into the office and whatnot and I will say it is a different skill set to manage remote workers than it is to manage people that you see sitting at a desk but be careful visibility does not equal productivity some people are actually more productive at home some people are less productive at work because of the Chit Chat because of the distractions they're just sitting there watching cat videos on YouTube For Heaven's Sake I mean it could be anything so um so I'm just seeing a big shift of of companies going back into the office again and I I want to make managers aware if you're managing both you know the hybrid space or you're making that shift in One Direction or another it's actually a different set of leadership skills and a different set of communication skills that it takes to be successful managing remote versus managing in-person folks so just something to keep in mind there so all right yeah we do have one question here from Bev it's a good one here Bev so thanks for submitting so Bev says how do you suggest trying to rebuild trust when it's been broken what questions can you ask that are more likely to demonstrate care versus being nosy oh good good question and also I mean I see a lot of folks on this call today that probably have good answers to these questions so I'm not the be-all end-all conflict resolution kind of person feel free to put in your your advice uh and anything that you've learned as a leader as well um what I will say is we definitely have seen a lot of trust broken over not even just the last year or two but over the last 10 to 20 years if you think about our society now we're starting to question I'm I'm not going to get political here but we are starting to question who's telling us the truth as far as you know with politics or with the news with even trusted advisors who then are not who they said they were because something bad happened and they got in trouble right so we're seeing even as a society that happened and I'm seeing a ton of people in the workplace they'll change jobs because they lost trust in their last boss or their last company and they bring that baggage into the new company so for example somebody will say to their you know a boss says to their employee please can you just stay tonight can you just work this double tonight and I swear I will not call you this weekend I I promise I will not bother you to work at extra shift this weekend I just need you to cover tonight and and we'll be all set okay so then the person covers the shift and then two more people quit on Friday and now the manager is desperate and the manager calls on Saturday morning and says I know I promised I swore that I wasn't gonna call you this weekend but I'm desperate and I didn't know two more people were gonna quit and and and and right so these are good intentioned managers okay that that did not mean to lie they did not mean to mislead anyone but they had to kind of go back on their promise uh for lack of a better work so if we think about that person like maybe that's your situation or maybe that's the situation somebody came from where a person kept breaking their promise over and over or the company kept saying oh we're gonna get our head back above water oh we're going to get rid of mandatory over time soon you know and they just kept making promises and three months later six months later 12 months later they're not keeping their promises and so now that person has come to your organization they are not going to believe what comes out of your mouth okay because their last boss their last company did not tell them the truth or lied to them or misled them or had good intentions and had to you know reneg on that offer or promise or whatnot and so we absolutely have to be aware that some people are just coming in and it's going to take a lot longer to rebuild that trust so just start small I think another thing because we're so busy sorry I'm getting kind of long-winded here Bev but another thing about trust is we are so busy that we will say ambiguous language like I'll try to get to that this afternoon or maybe I can get that done before I leave today I'll I'll probably be able to do that for you before my shift ends do you hear those words I'll try maybe probably okay I just taught our communication class the other day and we spent quite a bit of time on this ambiguous language because if you say I'll try to get to that I I can probably get that done today what the other person hears is oh yeah she's taking care of that today she's going to do that she said she'll do it and you know that you said well I'll try I'll see if I can get it done and you're hopeful you're well intentioned but then that person thinks it's a done deal and the next day when it doesn't get done they think you lied to them or you didn't follow through on what you promised me or told me you were gonna do so we have to be really careful with some of that even teeny tiny language um words that make a huge difference coming from a sender to a receiver right people are going to receive a message differently than exactly the way that you put it out there and that you intended so building trust absolutely starts with watching your language and your words and your promises being much more clear in deadlines and what you can and cannot accomplish for people following through on anything you promise and not even breaking little promises like I'll I'll try to get to that today you know that seems little and insignificant but I'll tell you I've worked for managers in the past who said that over and over and over and then I just couldn't count on them I couldn't trust that they were going to get to me what I asked for or that they were going to think about what they said well I'll think about that and get back to you you and they'd never get back to me and then when I would come ask them did you have a chance to think about that they go oh no I I haven't had a chance to think about that yet like you told me you would think about it and get back to me and so and they didn't so now I don't I don't trust you anymore right um so make sure we watch our language and and be careful with that and as far as the demonstrating care versus being nosy if I know something is going on with a team member you know personally or professionally or whatnot um I typically start with I don't mean to pry and you don't have to tell me anything but I just wanted to check in make sure that you're doing okay and ask if there's any way I can support you if you want me to listen or you need any you know a sounding board for anything if there's anything I can do to help I'd be happy to be there for you right so even just being very blunt and very open and upfront transparent right out the gate that hey I'm not trying to pry you do not have to tell me anything but I did see on Facebook that you're going through through some trouble or I know you talked to me the other day about some things you're worried about if you want to talk about it we can dive deeper and I'm happy to support you with that okay so um so just not checking in with people and going so is everything okay with your husband like you know be be a little more sensitive because they may have also told you something and then honestly wish later that they hadn't have told you and they would like for you to forget that they told you that and so you can say you know I know you you mentioned some some issues you were having at home and so it I'm here for you I've been thinking about you um and and if you want to talk about it great and if not I totally understand right so hopefully that will that will be helpful as well moving forward all right so anything else as we wrap up here Jess has been a great message I'm sure you all have meetings in eight minutes because you're busy going back to back with things um I hope you will use these tools that we have shared with you and feel free to send it out to other people you are welcome to share our super secret hidden vault with other folks if you think that they would find any of those downloadable tools uh helpful and of course reach out to us if you need any management training this new lead leadership Essentials class is amazing people are loving it and you have about a dozen topics to pick from uh for your quarterly or every other month kind of training and that can be in person but most groups are doing it virtual because everybody's busy so really exciting um and we will also yes have a recording of today's session available we will post this within a day or two to our YouTube page just look for magnet culture on YouTube and uh have a wonderful day keep up the great work friends thank you for everything you do every day you are amazing bye friends