if you struggle with contentment with happiness and joy in your day-to-day life if sometimes being a homemaker feels like it's a thankless task today I want to share with you seven things that you should be doing that I believe will increase your happiness that will increase your joy and contentment in your everyday life and two things that I think you should absolutely stop doing number one is to get dressed get up and get dressed every day people are kind of polarized on this if you're somebody who just does this then you're like yeah of course Doug what are you talking about the truth is being a homemaker is a job in a world that often diminishes the value of Homemakers and you know there's sort of a lack of respect there for women and mothers who are staying home raising children it is seen as somehow like an easy life it's not seen by a lot of people as a job basically it's not seen as work to many people and the reality is it absolutely is and if you are taking that seriously then I think showing up putting your best foot forward every day getting up getting dressed not only is it going to make you feel more productive studies show it will make you be more productive to be up and dressed and ready for the day now listen we're not talking about like full Glam I just mean like brush your teeth change out of your pajamas even if you're putting on your mom uniform that's athleisure wear put on some makeup if you're a makeup wearer but it means that you're prepared for whatever's going to happen today right maybe somebody shows up to your door unexpectedly maybe you have to run an unexpected errand you are not starting behind already right you are kind of ready to tackle the day getting up every day getting dressed is going to make you feel good and it's going to get you started on the right foot number two and you could absolutely put this before number one it just depends on how you want to structure your own day but number two is to make your bed there is a really fantastic book and the book is based on a commencement speech I believe that was given by a former Navy SEAL his name is William H mcraven and it's called make your bed it was a commencement speech he gave with kind of giving his Like rules for life and things that he learned in the military and how that has applied to the rest of his life and how he's handled things the idea behind make your bed is that you are starting the day with a task complete not only is it setting a positive tone for the day but it's also giving you a sense of accomplishment before you've hardly even cracked your eyes open you've already achieved something or accomplished something and let me just tell you that brings me to today's video sponsor which is bowl and Branch part of making your bed it does not feel like a chore ever when you absolutely love your space your bedroom and your bedding we recently got some new bedding from bowl and Branch it's unbelievable truly making my bed does not feel like a chore I look forward to seeing the end result I just sometimes just walk by the room and glance at the maid bed like oh look at you you beautiful Saucy little minks you I love it so much this bedding is extremely high quality the highest quality bedding I've ever owned and they really achieve that by using the highest quality threads in their bedding and I love that all of their products are completely free from toxins at every step of the process and they are 100 percent traceable from Family Farm to a finished product but I have to tell you that probably one of my favorite things about this new bedding that we got is that every time you wash it it gets softer the sheets are woven with a hundred percent organic cotton so they're exceptionally soft just right out of the gate but they get softer with every single wash the sheets are not going to pill or Shrink so your fitted sheet is going to stay in place and they're going to feel incredible for years to come it's one of those items that is abs absolutely worth an investment I am almost 40 years old and having a quality comfortable bedding set is something that I am willing to splurge on you don't realize how much of your life you actually spend like the percentage of your life that you're spending in your bed and sleeping and having my bedroom my bed be a sanctuary and a place that I just look forward to crawling into at night is something that matters to me so I am absolutely willing to make an investment on high quality betting and truly this is the best quality betting we have ever owned we chose the per Cal sheets in white because they are just so cool and crisp and the quilt is again it's light and Airy and cool and I got that in the shade natural and then we also added the amazing waffle knit blanket for the bed again in the shade natural it will be perfect especially when it does start to cool down and we want a little added warmth and of course I would not share this amazing bedding with you without sharing a discount if you check down below in the description box I have a link down there to grab that discount try out bowl and Branch I know that you are going to love them I feel very very confident that you are going to love them just as much as I do we're getting up we're getting dressed we're making our bed and really this is like a teeny bit of tough love but I feel like it's one of the most important things that I have learned in my own life and that is to develop a habit of discipline motivation will not take you very far motivation will not last it will go away kind of think of it like when you initially fall in love with someone you have that honeymoon phase where hormones are going crazy and it's meant to be that way you are meant to release all of this oxytocin and bond really tightly with this person and fall in love with them it is a chemical thing that's happening but it's impossible to stay in that heightened state of euphoria in that heightened chemical release all of the time right so when you think about a marriage a long-term relationship it's about the discipline of the commitment that you've made to that person right because those heightened hormones those feelings of just Euphoria and love are going to Wax and Wane and what's going to keep you there is the discipline of the commitment that you've made the bond that you've built with this person so maybe this isn't Like A Perfect Analogy but my point is that so much of what we do in a day is about discipline not motivation most of the things that we have to do we're not really motivated to do and I think it's a little unrealistic to expect that we would be in a state of heightened motivation all the time and you know I see all of these like short form things these reels these tick tocks these things like that that are like ah motivated but motivation it just doesn't last and it's not going to get you through through to the Finish Line it's not going to get you to complete things and quite frankly if we're just sitting around waiting for motivation to strike we're going to inadvertently become uh kind of lazy it's about developing discipline self-discipline and one of the ways that I like to think about this is that if you are somebody who struggles with this if you're kind of like a YOLO person right and you're always telling yourself like it's all right you could do that later you don't need to worry about that like you deserve this you've earned a break like I get it but I like to think about having the discipline to do something that may not feel like doing as a gift to myself tomorrow Angie is going to thank today Angie for doing that thing evening Angie is going to thank morning Angie for taking care of that task and I remind myself that I'm really only hurting myself by pushing things off by not being disciplined enough to get up and take care of the things I need to take care of my responsibilities and not doing them in a timely fashion I'm really only hurting myself because well one of the crazy things about adulting is that nobody's for the most part for most of us nobody is taking care of us anymore there isn't a white night no one's coming to rescue us no parent is coming to swoop in and fix all the things like we are that person we're the White Knight we're the parent we're this we got to do the swooping you gotta swoop in and save yourself discipline to do the tasks that you need to do for the day be disciplined enough to do those even when you don't feel like it that brings me to number four which is very important and that is to keep your eyes on what you value what matters to you so we just talked about being disciplined and doing the things that you need to do but remember are those things that you actually need to do that are actually your responsibility things that you have to take care of or are those things that you're putting on your plate that should us you know I should do this because other people do it or if I I was a good mom I would XYZ because that's what I see other good moms doing that's going to get you in a tailspin that is going to keep you constantly chasing your tail and you will not have joy satisfaction none of those things if you are constantly trying to chase things that aren't for you so how do you know what's for you well what's for you is what's based on your values what you value what matters to you what you prioritize and that means you have to be honest and realistic with yourself about what is that and not what other people are telling me that should be what social media is saying that should be what you know some article online or some crazy lady on YouTube is telling me that should be only you can know that for yourself and for your family and as much as like I think we get a little fluffy with our like you're so unique and special like it was sort of but not really but also your family is unique and how you operate what works for you what doesn't work for you is going to be unique to you there isn't ever going to be just a cookie cutter model that just right out of the gate works for everybody knowing what to do with your time if you want to be disciplined and all of that but if you're being disciplined about the wrong things then it's just a waste so knowing what you value what matters to you and focusing on that and that alone is absolutely key number five embrace your weirdness okay whatever that is whatever that weirdness looks like I'm thinking specifically about like home decor I do and I fall into this trap okay so I promise I am not preaching at you I'm like let's talk about this because I feel the same way everything has to like look the same we know what is popular right now and what we see like everybody has this gray sofa or everybody has this poster bed or whatever it is and I think some sometimes we're afraid to do things that go against like what the experts the home decor experts I mean I see all the videos that are like stop doing this in your house immediately like this is out of style and I love watching those things because it's fun but remember it's just opinions and well as my mama always said opinions are like be holes we all got them and they all stink okay everyone's got their opinions it's your home it's your life you and your family are the ones that are going to live in it so if having a completely simplified no clutter home whatsoever like I've got a sofa and a chair and a pot if that is your jam then do it if it's not your jam there's something in between for everybody okay you can simplify declutter without having three things in your house there isn't a one-size-fits all for anybody and I think embracing your weirdness embracing your uniqueness I like to call it weirdness because I think we take that word back it's not a bad thing to be weird embracing that is something that you'd be surprised when you get over like when people come over they're like why does she have that yellow sofa nice yellow sofa but you love that yellow sofa and it just brings you Joy every time you walk into the room you see that yellow sofa this is what I mean by saying like and it's why I get so like about some of the like Homemaker Trend stuff like the Trad wife stuff really very specifically is that this idea that the only way to be a good Homemaker is to look a certain way dress a certain way have your house decorated a certain way be a certain kind of person I saw something yesterday on Instagram that just made me like cringe a little bit because I I love this person's content but basically was like you know this is how you be a good wife good woman and one of the things listed and I'm not going to get into specifics but one of the things listed was something that I am not just am not I had a moment of like oh man am I I thought that's nuts no Angie you are you love your husband you love your kids like you are not a bad wife a bad Homemaker because that particular trait isn't something that you possess as a natural way of being so my point is that we are all different and what a boring boring world it would be if we were all the same it would look like The Psychotic Stepford Wives okay if we all dress the same look the same act at the same like here's your oatmeal husband meet me it would be it's just awful and I think for one if we are wanting young women to look at having children being Homemakers taking care of their home as something that they might desire then we have to make sure that they know that you don't have to fit into a box for that to be an a good choice for you in your life right like you can choose to be a homemaker and a wife without fitting into this box or that box there's more than one way to be a good Homemaker and a good wife and a good mom okay embrace your weirdness number six and that is something that we talk about here a lot and that is budgeting and frugality again I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned over the last year or two years is that frugality doesn't mean that you never spend any money and you never get to have anything that you enjoy it's Depression era life all the time just in case the apocalypse happens at least for me that is not what frugality is about frugality is about being smart with my money being a good Steward of the money that I have as well as not wasting money on things I don't care about and things that don't matter to me just because it's easy to just want whatever I'll spend on that it's about being smart with my money Frugal with my money in 95 of the areas so that I can spend a little bit more extravagantly and the five percent of areas that like really matter to me and I really want to be able to like like Yay spend on this one thing but to me that is what frugality and budgeting is about is about being responsible knowing where my money's going I'm not overspending on things unnecessarily budgeting and figuring out what that's going to look like for your family getting on the same page about that making sure that you have all the same goals in mind you know sort of same ideas about it is always obviously very very helpful money comes and money goes and maybe you're in a season where you do have a lot of money but that season might end you never know being smart and wise with our money is never a bad choice whether you have a lot of it or a little of it it's important to be wise with what you have number seven it kind of goes back to what I said a little bit about like embrace your weirdness but this is about leaning into whatever your Niche area of homemaking motherhood is okay again we cannot all be experts in all things so if you were a professor and you were teaching some high-level chemistry class but then you were also teaching like I don't know English literature and you might feel like well how can this person possibly be like an expert in all of these things that's not super common right so it's the same thing in being a homemaker maybe your area of expertise your area of great knowledge or skill is in sewing and mending or maybe it's in cooking and baking or maybe it's in gardening or maybe it's in like organizing cleaning keeping things like militant and tidy I don't know okay it could be different but don't be afraid to lean into what you're really good at and of course you need to know the basic skills kind of of all of the areas of of life and of taking care of yourself and your family we've got to have those basic skills but that doesn't mean that you have to like try to master all of them you can be proficient patient in most areas and an expert in just a couple areas or one area something that you really love something that you are passionate about something that brings you a lot of Joy I'm hesitant to even give you any ideas because I don't want you to like think inside of a box it's your life you get to choose what that is what brings you Joy what makes you happy we can get very caught up in watching someone else's the beauty in their expertise and feeling like but I wish I was really good like that and diminishing our own areas of expertise and the things that we love and it always makes me sad when I see women doing that and for myself even when I find myself feeling that way and doing that I kind of have to like like hard stop stop it stop it right now that's great for her as I always say good for her not for you it's a mantra that I live by for a reason because we live in a society where other people's lives are very much a part of our everyday life if you are on social media bottom line and when we are exposed to so much and so much variety so many different ways of living so many different ways of doing things it can really make us start to question like should I be doing that am I supposed to be doing like I didn't even know that was a thing people do that knowledge is both a gift and um and a burden to bear because now we know what's out there we know what's possible we know all the things that you could be doing and most of them are things that we don't need to be doing are completely outside of our wheelhouse and like no man we just need to walk away from that what are you going to do they're gonna Zone in on what you are really good at what brings you Joy what makes you happy you're going to keep learning and growing in that skill it's going to build your confidence when you see yourself getting better at something it may build your confidence to try out some other things some other areas that you might want to learn about this is about finding those things that are special and important to you leaning into those and embracing that thing that is yours you know the thing that you love and not worrying about what other people love and what other moms are doing and you know what other areas they are experts in that you are not as promised I have two things that I think that you have to stop doing I don't like to do negative things with like a negative Bend like please stop do I just I don't love that who am I to tell you stop doing something but these are just my opinions right so we've got things we're embracing things that like were things we're doing that are making us happier and there's two things that I see that make me kind of crazy and maybe it's not that you need me to tell you to stop maybe it's just that you want to hear somebody else like give you permission to not do these things so this is me giving you permission not that you need mine but sometimes people feel like they just need to hear it from somebody else number one let's embrace face the seasons we're in whether that is the actual season as in like fall winter spring summer or season of little kids high school kids grown kids I struggle so much with this because I am an influencer and a Creator and when this is your business you are constantly having to think forward to like the next quarter the next kind of content what are you going to be doing I mean it's September right now but yes I in my mind I've already done and I'm doing Christmas related things I try desperately to do is not to bring that into my like real life I'm not telling you when you can start celebrating any holiday do what you want but I do feel as though ever since social media came around every holiday seems to be happening way way way way sooner every season seems to be changing over like way before it actually does and it's very disorienting just to be honest it can feel very disorienting like wait a second still like 100 degrees outside and everybody is like completely decorating for fall and like you know I don't know just pumpkins everywhere and fall leaves and now just all of this again I I'm not saying that you can't do that if it makes you happy but I think if that were truly why people were doing it then people would have been doing it a long time ago again it's been since social media another example that I could just think of off the top of my head is that basically like two days after Christmas last year I started seeing people talking about Valentines understand that again influencers depending on their genre and what they share about and do you kind of have to like be ahead of things I guess but it's overwhelming for me and this is my job so I cannot imagine what it must feel like when it's not your job and people are just like oh you're still wearing your swimsuit and your hair is wet and you've got sand between your toes here's a pumpkin spice latte it's fall it just speaks to the fact that we as a society have a very hard time just being just living in the moment living in the gain and not the Gap as we've talked about before and we're just constantly thinking about like what's next what's next what's next it's a terrible way to go through life if you expect to have any semblance of contentment there's no contentment to be found and what's next what's next what's next if you're hearing this and being like Oh I'm so glad somebody finally said it like not that you need my permission but I I think that one of the things that we should stop doing is rushing in to the next thing the next season before we have really soaked up every last bit of happiness and joy and contentment that's to be found in the one we are currently in the second thing is not knowing when enough is enough not knowing when to stop not knowing when to say I have cleaned enough I have cooked enough I have run enough errands I've organized enough I have decluttered enough I need to be enjoying my life I love that we're talking more in you know like culture about like homemaking and I love that this topic and mothers and raising children is even though it's like a little controversial right now I love that it's becoming a bit of a more mainstream topic because it's been a forgotten a forgotten skill and a forgotten trade for women one that is often looked down upon so I'm so glad that we are recognizing all of the strengths and all of the wonderful things that women can do and are capable of doing and raising kids but it would be a terrible idea if we took the work like a CEO mentality and brought it into the home and turned homemaking into yet another thing that was just about striving and better and more and bigger and we were unable to see what we have right in front of us and enjoy that so don't get get so busy making a to-do list and checking things off that you forget to live and love your family right where you are in your home you get so busy with the to-do list that you forget to have a life [Music] thank you [Music]