holy moly has it been a year is it 2022 uh hi salty possums we're still here if you're new here welcome uh i guess my rants on instagram uh did not scare you away we lost betty white i thought i would come on here and i would explain what it's like to be autistic and adhd at the same time as a costumer if i could describe what it's like it would be mess and mess and more mess often in your own head there are so many things that conflict with each other that you need and so you're like constantly like i need new things to get some dopamine right but then the other part of you is like no i need everything to be the same that's the only way that any of this works don't you dare change anything at all there's the sensory aspects which are fun like sometimes you just can't handle the noises of the machines and they stress you out and sometimes you will hear your neighbor whisper in the other country over like in canada and you will be like oh my god what is that noise what is that noise what is that noise and then you tell everybody and they're like what oh and then on top of it you can be exceptionally sensitive to noises that other people make but then you will totally put on your headphones with like some music you absolutely love crank it all the way up and just totally and that makes sense somehow to your brain i don't know how i get things done i don't i think the only reason why i get things done is because my adhd needs me to do something or i will be too bored doing the same thing all the time and then the autism basically jumps in and is like you have to get this done and the adhd is like no i really don't want to and autism is like if you don't i will have a meltdown that's my life but we have managed to create some really awesome stuff yeah so i have piles of things throughout this area but i have some general idea of what's in every pile so that's always fun and it depends on the day whether the adhd actually remembers where the things are like which pile they're in there are days when the autism will literally look at everything and be like no this is not happening today we're not doing this and adhd is like i can't put anything away though what happens is i usually end up getting up to this place where i just can't take it it's like the autism goes you are cleaning something up today and i'm like okay fine all right so i will like reduce it to the place where it's okay but not perfect and like definitely not perfect there is no no perfection going on at all but i'll get to the point where the autism will be like okay i can function again and the adhd is like thank god because i hate cleaning so much uh you get lots of wacky facial features and then if i get too tired the mask drops and i talk in monotone and people have no idea if i'm doing okay or if i'm not and i just exist i should really have taken notes but guess what part of my brain does that's a whole other thing the planning of videos just does not really happen the autistic brain can imagine and put together things inside here so i don't actually have to write it down the adhd brain cannot plan anything at all it's just so painful to try to do that and weirdly both of them function okay when i'm doing something that is my hyper focus i can sit and create you know some of the stuff i've made which is very complicated because it's totally my jam it's totally what i'm into but the moment something stops being my interest screw it like it's dead forever and i'll just be like sitting there like trying to force myself to finish the project it's just not good so i'm constantly having to chase the dopamine of something that actually really matters to me and the autism is like get it done as quickly as possible before you lose interest the adhd part of my brain will literally just get depressed at the end of a project to the point where it won't even want to do another one and so motivation is actually really hard for me that's something i'm still working on and if anyone has any ideas i mean i feel like people with both usually have come up over years with some significant tricks so if you have suggestions for like how you kind of like tips and tricks for ways that you kind of trick yourself into being able to do things i would totally love to know i'm sure a lot of other people a lot of other neurodivergent customers would absolutely love to know that information let's all help each other out i don't have all the answers i honestly cannot believe that i thought it was normal does anyone else like your parents were like you're average you're normal you look back now and you're like what were you on and can i have some because things are scary right now you could just be talking about something and then it's gone what what are you talking about so for a little while there when i had the times i would sew every day and i established enough of a routine that my adhd understood that i was doing that every day and because it's stimming thing it does actually make me feel better it makes it easier for me to regulate and it's really important for my autism but again hyperfocus can totally show up and completely make you forget other things like having to go to the bathroom feeding yourself leaving what you're doing behind so you can focus on other things i will continue to obsess and think about stuff 24 7. and that's fine i feel like i do a lot of planning in my head and that helps with answering all the little tiny things like how do i do this stitch what what would they have done back then what someone i don't know someone was honking what is this this is a house i'm not gonna get a move on see lost it god what were we talking about i don't remember anyway it's a miracle that i manage to do things i'm so glad that i do i actually really love this brain inside here it makes some really cool things and i hope that you're proud of your nerd divergence as well take care salty possums i will see you soon with an actual project who knows i think so though yeah i got a veil in the works and i've got like a green zimarra that i want to work on possibly before the winter ends but you know how that always goes it's like springtime when you finally finish take care bye oh i think i gotta go pick up my kids