How to Become a Different Person

Introduction

• Many people fantasize about wanting a "life transplant"
  • Wishing for a different life or a different version of oneself
• Even more people wish to have someone else live their life
  • A different personality could completely transform life
• The goal: Teach methods to effectively change yourself
  • Evidence-based techniques available

Understanding Personality

• Personality Components: 3 Aspects
  1. Interpretation of Information
  2. Reaction to Circumstances
  3. Behavior
• Example: Different people, same scenario, different reactions
  • Breakups lead to different interpretations and behaviors
• Insights from addiction psychiatry
  • Personality disorders: Sociopathy, Narcissism, etc.
  • Narcissistic behavior: Personalizes external events and manipulates others

Group Coaching: Healthy Gamer

• HG Groups: Group coaching for digital age problems
  • Social isolation, lack of purpose, feeling overwhelmed
  • Skills learned: Effective listening, communication, vulnerability, self-awareness

Treating Personality Issues

• Development of evidence-based techniques in psychiatry
  • Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) for Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Therapies for Antisocial Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder
• Research into common elements of successful therapies
  • Key elements: Metacognition and Meta-emotion
  • Metacognition: Thinking about thoughts
  • Meta-emotion: Feeling about feelings

Example of Meta-emotion

• Social anxiety at a party
  • Common reactions: scrolling through phone, leaving the party
  • Consequence: Feeling ashamed, getting anxious about anxiety
• Key insight: It's the reaction to emotions & thoughts that cripples us

Practical Steps for Change

• Focus on Metacognition and Meta-emotion
  • Change how we think about thoughts and feel about emotions
  • Personality change leads to life transformation
• Control where we spend cognitive energy
  • Focus on internal conclusions rather than external factors
  • External events: Less control, focus on reactions and interpretations instead

Conclusion

• Changing metacognitions and meta emotions shapes personality
  • Observe and be mindful of conclusions drawn from life experiences
  • Challenge automatic conclusions
  • Collect objective evidence before forming conclusions
• Buddhist tradition: The concept of two arrows (life's arrow and self-imposed arrow)
• Yogic texts: Focus on metacognition
  • Meditation improves all aspects of life by addressing metacognition

Final Thoughts

• Possibility of personality change makes creating a new destiny achievable
  • Focus on transforming interpretations and reactions to life events