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Managing Long-Distance Marriages and Sexual Urges

Jul 5, 2024

Managing Long-Distance Marriages and Sexual Urges

Introduction

  • Speaker: Victoria A.
  • Platform: YouTube
  • Audience: Christians, particularly those in long-distance marriages
  • Goals: Provide practical tips for managing sexual urges and promoting intimacy in long-distance marriages while maintaining Christian values.

Channel Intro & Updates

  • Victoria's YouTube channel is growing; goal of reaching 50K subscribers.
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  • Sale Dates: January 30th to February 5th.

Viewer’s Question

  • Context: Married woman with husband away for 9-10 months due to job relocation. Struggling with sexual urges.
  • Relevant Concern: Balancing sexual needs with Christian beliefs without engaging in sinful behavior.

Key Points

Understanding Sexual Urges in Christian Marriage

  • Sexual urges are natural and more intense when partners are apart.
  • Misconception: Married people should find long-distance easier if they were virgins before marriage, but it’s often harder due to newly awakened desires.
  • It's okay to have these urges; it's part of marriage design.

Navigating Long-Distance Intimacy

  • Biblical Perspective: Full spectrum of sex, not just penetration, important in marriage.
  • God's Design: Not everything is permitted; marriage bed should be kept undefiled (Hebrews 13:4).
  • Permissible Acts: Sexual activities are allowed as long as they involve only the married couple and use only their bodies.

Practical Tips for Managing Sexual Urges

Communication & Agreement

  • Discuss expectations and boundaries about sexual intimacy before separating.
  • Agreement on what’s permissible can help reduce guilt and confusion.

Use of Technology

  • Texting and Sexting: Send suggestive messages and pictures (without face or identifiers for privacy) through encrypted means like WhatsApp.
  • Virtual Intimacy: Video calls or virtual interactions as a means to satisfy each other without physical presence.
  • Fantasy Sharing: Discuss past intimate moments and fantasies to awaken desire and maintain connection.

Moderation and Caution

  • Avoid over-reliance on virtual intimacy; it should not replace physical intimacy altogether.
  • Practice restraint to prevent dependency and ensure future physical interactions remain fulfilling.

Avoiding Triggers and Staying Engaged

  • Mindful Consumption: Avoid erotic content, pornography, and conversations that may increase sexual urges.
  • Stay Occupied: Engage in work, hobbies, or projects to keep the mind busy.
  • Spiritual Engagement: Focus on spiritual growth, prayer, and reading the Bible to divert sexual energy.

Special Circumstances and Adjustments

  • Hormonal Influence: Recognize times when urges may be natural (e.g., ovulation) and prepare to handle them responsibly.
  • Emotional Support: Supporting each other emotionally through calls and messages can also alleviate sexual frustration.

Wrapping Up

  • Encourage a balanced approach to managing sexual urges during long-distance marriage while adhering to Christian values.
  • Final Tips: Understand your triggers, communicate openly, and use the time apart for personal and spiritual growth.

Conclusion

  • Engage with Content: Subscribe, like, and comment for more discussions and tips.
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