what do men typically do wrong when they're flirting like how do you flirt incorrectly what I actually see in terms of flirting is just not flirting my clients are going on dates and they're oftentimes treating them like business meetings they're being very nice and respectable and even having good conversations and they're creating intellectual connections but they aren't flirting and creating emotional or sexual connections and so a woman leaves the date and thinks "Oh nice guy." Don't see him as a romantic partner so that's why these guys who are very nice have a lot going for them aren't actually getting the second date or getting the results with women so how do you effectively flirt so it starts there's a a lot of techniques that can work here but it starts with body language you aren't going to be effective at flirting if you don't have the right body language wrong body language looks like closed off body posture shoulders hunched in not having good posture not making eye contact you have to you can't be doing those things eye contact super important for flirting if you're even if you're saying something silly or flirty but you're not looking at her you're looking down you're mumbling you're not going to come off as confident and it's not going to feel flirtatious so the first thing you need to consider is how you're coming across shoulders back looking at right at her pronunciate annunciating excuse me if I'm gonna get that one right um speaking loudly so she can hear you that's you know baseline what needs to happen to even seem flirty and it's honestly more oftenimes more important than even the words that you're saying is how you're saying them and how you're coming across and how often should you compliment them on a date yeah so I actually think a sweet spot for a first date is three compliments but hear me out here you're not How long of a duration though is this first date so let's an average first date should be an hour or two in my opinion you want to keep it relatively short but these aren't "Oh you look really beautiful." They aren't necessarily all about her physical appearance and you're spacing them out so right when she arrives you might pay her a compliment like "Thank you so much for meeting taking the time to meet you look great." or you have you look incredible in that dress giving her a light compliment that makes her feel good coming in what about backhanded compliments negging not I you're smarter than you than you look i don't like those you know they can I like that dress my mom has the same one you can be playful and tease and I like that but I don't like So pickup artists will say that you should nag women you want to make her feel bad about herself intentionally and I don't like that but what they're ultimately getting at is you want to make women feel things you want to create they call I've heard it referred to as emotional spikes and that feels a little manipulative to me but it has some truth to it you do want a woman to feel things when she's around you i just don't think you want to make her feel things by making her feel bad and then good you can just pay genuine compliments so ideally one at the start of the date maybe one when does that seem manipulative that you're giving her compliments because you want a desired outcome if the desired outcome is her to feel good about herself and the compliment is genuine I don't count that as manipulative if you are saying things that maybe you don't mean or you're saying them just because you want something from her like manipulative might be too strong of a word for it but hidden motives kind of in a negative way yeah it's then it's also not going to come off in a way that a lot of times women are going to see through it let's just say that i feel like women have a sixth sense for underlying intentions so if your intention is just to sleep with her or just to get her phone number when you've approached like I mentioned before that can be problematic and it's it might get you results sometimes but it's not going to get you long-term results how are men and women psychologically different in terms of dating and what should you know about the way like a woman's brain works or about the way a guy's brain works something that I see men getting wrong often is they overestimate how much a woman cares about their looks yes your looks are a factor as a man but men care way more about what a woman looks like than a woman cares about what a man looks like that's in person though probably and overall overall I would say because that applies for online as well like yeah you have you do your looks matter more online but a guy can often times look at a woman's profile and know whether or not he'd want to go out with her pretty instantly and a woman does not look at a man's profile and know if she know if she would want to go out with him she might know if she wants to get to know him more or is curious to learn more about him but it's not like oh I would take the date with him just based on his looks where that is often true for a man how important is it to be a high value man like that's the the new term yeah well I think you have to really break down what does that mean you know and it is important i refer I feel strongly that one of the things women look for in all men and this is important for any guy who's like "Hey I want to attract high quality women," is you need to be high status which is essentially what I think people are getting at when they say high value but breaking down what that really means is important to me it means you showcase a trajectory that implies you are going places that you are going to be able to be that provider that you have things building in your life towards something that doesn't have to be financial it's not like oh you have to have a highpaying career to attract women it could just be that you're interested in things like I want to I'm a cook and I want to eventually open my own food truck that's showing her that you have goals and aspirations and that you think about the future she also wants somebody who has interests and I call them investment areas if you're a guy all you do is work and go to the gym that's not very appealing that's actually pretty boring what are your interests outside of those things do you play sports are you do you collect rocks do are you really into your dog it doesn't have to necessarily be things she's interested in but she wants to see that you have things going on and how many points can a guy raise himself on the 1 to 10 scale like what are the things that they could start doing immediately so my biggest piece of advice for a guy who's looking to improve his score with women is to build a life that he is genuinely proud of so that can look like gaining some of those interests or investment areas if you don't have any today getting better at something getting in shape taking good care of yourself uh how you look you know I I did say women don't care as much about what a man looks like as a man cares about what a woman looks like but it's still relevant especially early on first impressions matter so if you look like a slob even if you're successful and funny and bring a lot to the table you're going to get overlooked often so are you well-groomed are you wearing clothes that look good on you are you in shape you don't have to have six-pack abs but you should look like you care about taking care of your health if you want to improve your results with women and you're looking to improve yourself on that scale is it true that dad bods get more attention than the guy with like the six-pack abs i wouldn't say they get more attention but I don't think the six-pack abs are going to give you outsized results you know what's interesting that just made me think and we're going a little off topic once again here but in a lot of relationships once you get into the point of like dating and and boyfriend girlfriend a lot of the times as the guy gains some weight the woman's like "Oh yeah i like that." Like "That's great keep gaining the weight." Now a lot of men speculate that that's because the woman wants the guy to not be so competitive in the dating marketplace and so they just want him all to themselves would you say this is accurate or is this like a a way that maybe the girls can think I can kind of not take so much care of myself do they actually enjoy that i was going to suggest that as like the alternative option is like oh well if he gains some weight like I can like gain a little weight too and not have to like stay so tight um I mean it makes some sense you know I can't say it's I have witnessed it or it's something like my girlfriends talk about they're like yeah he's gaining weight again like this is good um but I could see it being at least some accuracy never made any sense to me like if if you have a partner you would want to be attractive to your partner like it just seems common sense to me like I'm more motivated now to like stay in shape because now I have like someone to stay in shape for in a sense oh wow okay like it just it seems completely illogical to be like "All right well now I could just get fat." Yeah i mean I'm not like hoping my husband gets fat i would love if he got a six-pack that sounds cool