Transcript for:
D&I Lecture 2 Notes: Management / Social Identity Theory/ Schema

thank you shall we start I would like to come here very close to it's easy to see all right no problem the only thing is if we are having like a discussion people in the back I want you loud I got my voice from I get it yeah cuz that setup is yeah yeah yeah the wor ones also need to hear that's I'm usually loud makes life easy anyway want us to ask questions oh okay one was about ADHD nice we are actually going to talk about ADHD today cuz uh so you guys have me for long long hours today till 4 p.m. ex okay glad join the next session online that's fine no problem at meeting at two so I finish that and then I'll join sure sure no worries so the first lecture we are going into a little bit of a theory angle but the next lecture it's all about a lot of mental health disorders so we are going to talk a lot about how did Dusty know that all right everybody who's joining online all good this is where all of us will tell all of our problems that's fine I totally get that completely understand okay okay now all right so today we are talking about psychology and management I know the online ones are going to see my notes and that's okay just ignore the notes I have very funny notes so today we'll be meeting both the learning outcomes uh I guess except for one of my lectures we're always going to meet the learning outcomes both of them so before I go to the next slide does anybody know what the word scha mean like you want to [Music] goad my understanding of schema is it's like a uh collection of information and in a certain pattern yes and it's Unique to the individual how it's stored within their brain yes so it's like a mental filing cabinet that you have where you put things in that associate together also changes when you get true true sure okay awesome lovely answer anybody online see me through this anybody online who wants to give an answer about what schema means schema SCH online ones can you hear me just when I start piing out names yeah that's the thing I'm wondering uh we can hear you thank you awesome all right any input in into schemas no input no awesome so let's go to the next slide where the you would I know it's very confusing why am I talking about schemas on an inclusion and diversity lecture but I will get so love the answer this is what a scha is it's basically very simply said it's a building block of how we understand we take information and uh many times you know until we get it right we will come up with different different methods this is just an example I came up with because whenever somebody says the word dog I don't know why we I always think of a German right again it depends like whenever somebody says the word share I mean I'm sure we have like the same type of shares here but if you go to all the other like if you go check all the shares we can identify okay this is is a chair even though some of it might not have four legs all that we understand what a chair is so that's how we put things into categories right and then there's a prototype which is like German Shepherd for me is the Prototype of what a dog is whenever somebody says dog I think of a pro and what happens when we do this so This Is How We Gather information right we are able to find similar pattern like the reason we could say how to say it's a baby girl or a baby boy is through like baby girls wear a certain color B boys are wear a certain color they look a certain way their hair is a certain way and sa with anything right how we say oh this is this vehicle and this is a different type of vehicle that's how but there is a word that we say when we categorize people what is that yes but unfortunately what happens is we are I mean because humans gain information through I don't want to say judging through putting them into certain categories when we do it with humans we are putting them into certain categories and of course we could have misses right like if I'm going to come up with a weird example but usually I also wear glasses but they say if you wear glasses you're more students right or like you know if if you're nobody El if you are heavier they say okay not much likely into physical activity like all kinds of be judgments but that's because this is how we gain information but then of course it could be very highly insensitive yes sure absolutely so the Prototype is a more specialized cognitive structure and represents the most typical category member like if I say Pilots did you think of a male or a female M if I say nurse we have a certain image right if I say I don't want to say cricket uh so it's that could be the Prototype if I say cat I know we are not very familiar with cat breeds but we might think like the first image that comes to a head for us it could be the prot like for me whenever somebody says dog we the first image I think of is a German so is it a personal it is a personal like right now weirdly enough right now if somebody says car I'm going to obvious think of my car and I know it depends from person to person and if you say it's very interesting because I have a pug right but when someone says a dog I only remember golden rets that's true so I I had a Boston terer I never had a German CH but it's always a German CH I think so it has not so prototype is not to do with experience and what you have it's it's the maybe it's like the top of the Mind recall it is the top of the Mind recall I mean sometimes even though I would if I do recall the first dog that I ever saw was a ger when I was a child so that's probably that's probably why so because of it that's why we have prototypes where whenever you think of a chair yeah you might think I mean again I know these are not things that we have said and thought with and this is what we do with like word games and stuff you say one word and then what you think exactly so this is why we do it yeah just to understand prototypes got it online mons any questions up to now I know scha can be a little bit confusing any questions you have I need to look there all good so what happens when we do this with humans is we are stereotyping right and the issue with stereotyping is when there's Prejudice where we without we just like like for example when I said the word pilot of course we all thought of a male pilot even though we know there are female pilot and when I said the word nurse we we always think of a female nurse but yes we know there are male nurses so it depends on how to what certain extent to which extent we are willing to go with this stereotype and um before we go there oh it's okay why do people develop demographic stereotypes can somebody give me an answer for that why do we develop these stereotypes what are what's what are the benefits of this um can I also tell uh from an example yes the jobic uh stereotype yes now so I you know as I told you I'm a train so there was this problem one of the finance company that I was training very interesting okay um they had an issue uh in northern region that is chma all those thingses where the recovering is very slow where people their officers are not actually recovering whatever the micr finance loan to a payment okay then they actually did the research they found there's a cast system in jackma yes and these work officers they don't want to go to certain locations because those people are lower cost wow oh my gosh right and the problem is they have said if we go to those places we will not be able to get married too because people would have seen us in that particular are it's unable situation so they have approached me on a mindset changing training program for these guys complete of course the business is suffering wow that is crazy like the geographic stere still even in Sri Lanka there are certain places that people even get scared I don't know I there's no proven result see there's a place called Bal here yes when I telling someone I'm going to my I know they will even you know they see a person who's good no one would know me no that is true like it's the conversation we just had right like whenever I say tell somebody that I just visited Thailand they're like ah and I'm like what yeah it's like that's one like again I think it's because I mean let's look at I want to say that humans are good so that's why I'm looking at it this way but we could also go with the bad ble but I think it's because we as humans love information right like we want to gain a lot of information and sometimes when we see somebody we might not always have the ability of going to them and talking with them sitting down having one or two of discussion or whatever so what we do is we assume right like the fact that you're wearing glasses or you know it could be different things if we have somebody who wears a hijab naturally that's a indication for us okay she's a Muslim religion and if I'm wearing a cross you would be like oh she's a Catholic right so because I wasl stereotypic type something can change and it didn't matter by the way right because know I speak to them I smile I this B you know cats yeah just a week before yeah so it's not like they don't know they have never talked to me absolutely but still and there was also a very big family in front I found was they were one of the people who call so we are think it's just the gummy people it's just see and some of the things they said we saw weird people come into your face wow my friends Muslims they were all you know Buddhists I don't have Muslim friends like that absolutely you know that you unconsciously you also gave out a stereotype I you said gummy people no I did I I'm not saying I not saying I don't oh absolutely but because of course the that's what we have learned as well but it's just that you know the society also the same we obvious think with money people's minds everything changes but it was actually both parties yeah but it's just that you know they saw like you know whole Bing happen they saw natur and the other thing is like see here as we can see I like those pictures that you posted very nice yeah yeah so the thing here is the reason I started with steas and then I went to like prototype and then now I'm talking about stereotype is because I'm not saying that stereotyping I am saying it's the wrong thing but what I'm saying is this is how humans gather information and it's about how we decide to do what we decide to do right like you said like for example if I know I am if I know somebody here is going to what I okay let's say I know somebody who's a environmentalist or is very echo-friendly I will most probably like because I know it and maybe out of respect I don't want to bring like a single time used plastic bottle here right and I do that with my vegetarian friends like whenever I'm going out with them I'm like you know like pick a place that has a lot of Arian options so it's I mean I'm fine with it so that is also because I theot right I know like I mean I'm assuming okay you're a vegetarian you might feel a little bit uncomfortable if you go to like a steak house or something so let me choose something that it's comfortable for you that's also called stereotype yeah because at the end of the day we are categorized but isn't it in a good way it is in a good way but it's not still bad to it's not pre exactly it's not you know it's not putting somebody down but it's about recognizing cuz sometimes we do have similar like I'm guessing all of you would have heard like how Indians when they say yes they might do this right and I know like a lot of comedians make fun of it but because we know it when we visit India we are able to understand it yes right so yeah it was a weird it is a bad stereotype but we have a like we are able to prepare before we go like before I went to Thailand I kind of went and researched things so in Thailand it's really bad to point with one thing you don't do that you do this so it's good for me to identify so I see people doing this and I'm like oh because for me I'm not very good at recognizing who's th who's Chinese or who's Japanese so the minute somebody does this I'm like ah most probably die so yeah that is me categorizing but I'm not doing it with a bad so this is like I mean this is something I really recognize cuz I think I came up with the example of female drivers and all that right I'm going to go a bit further with that example again so here I know my online ones can see my notes just ignore that so perceiver use develop stereotype to categorize new targets all right categorization based on demographic Dimension is extremely automatic so here let come up with an example that will help us understand so then this is what is this process it's called This is just to identify how stereotypes keep going and like you said you asked me like can some you can somebody change theiry this is one of the reasons they can but people don't I mean some people would majority would not so let's say I have The Stereotype that females are bad drives right and I'm going on the road and I see somebody driving not so nice and I'm like huh but sure it's a so that's extremely automatic that's the thing that we also need to understand it is automatic like for somebody to assume that you're Muslim it is auto right because you are you cover up or something like that and if I wear a cross yeah and if I wear zind or something like that people would be like oh most probably Hindu like I said right like some workshops I just for the fun of it I would go and say like can you guess if I'm singal or Tamil and by saying Tamil they might be like it's automatic but they would be like huh you know probably this and I've seen people the minute I say I'm a psychologist like after a while they assume I must have a couch in my consultation room they always assume it they're like oh you know and I don't that's the funniest part I don't have one I should yeah t Sig frud in all the movies and and they naturally assume sometimes they like to assume my marital Theus they like to assume my age My Religion all kinds of so that is most of the time it is extremely aut and then let's say frequently perceive perceiver becomes a cognitive missile as they try to avoid conducting an ex so this is this is what happens let's say I am driving and I see a female driver next to me and she's driving fne so this is contradicting to my stereotype that females are bad drives I am I going to be like wait was I wrong was I wrong to assume this I would most probably be like she most probably had brothers or she's one yeah she's a rare one so I will have a cognitive miss and miss that new information and I would not want to update my stereotype and I will just go so this is of willing to sacrifice accuracy in favor of processing efficient so they are more they don't want to like you know get this new information because it it I mean at the end of the day we don't like unlearn right adults hate un learn so we don't want to be like no I'm wrong we would rather be like yeah she's real she's an exception to the r basically being lazy yeah that too stereotypes can also be remarkably inac therefore even when puru previous experience that's the thing like even when you have a lot of previous experience that tell you otherwise you want to stick with some this is when s having is B I will yes sorry what if you saw say five women driving well that way because it's more than one right then people don't it still will change again it depends from person to if the person is openminded and they are willing to understand that they were wrong that's the hard part I'll I'll tell you an example so I was somebody I've always been like a hug I still am I love dogs I've always grown up loving dogs and then I had my own dog and again loved him to bits all that and I was highly against like things like euthanization or things like you know I was like how could you do that and all that and I would judge people that did it and I had so many people try to tell me like no you don't understand I mean it's selfish or first keep them holding on you know all kinds of things and then again I don't know if I'll change my mind again but then when it came to me to make the decision I was like shoot I I understand it because I'm going through it and so I was able to kind of completely changed my mind and all but then I recognized there's going to be so many people who won't get the chance to do it who won't go through that personal experience like even for Me Maybe growing up I also thought like because my father would always say that women are bad friends but then I drive my sister drives a lot of my female friends drive and they drive fine so I'm like okay maybe not right maybe it's just a stereotype but it's harder for us and and besides if it's not directly bothering if it's not directly affecting me I don't want to put the eff I would rather have a cognitive wi right I have a simil experience yes now maybe when I was like in my young age but for example 20s again 30s when I see women on the road in prostitution yes I used to always think what the hell right can they look good can they do a job why the hell they just standing like you know just putting hands like you I have this stereotype for a long time hate it yes then I went to a competition K Lions young marketer where the case study is about prostitution where you need to come up with the marketing plan to uh for an organization that rescue these girls like that that was so they gave us like a case study where you need to do it's a six thing you read the case study you do the research come that day my uh mindset completely changed and you don't believe all those teams from various company you could see all the eyes are so yeah in tear when we were researching and you know in Sri Lanka itself there were 40,000 child prostitutes a report by UNICEF oh my God and the the funny part is how these people are pushed to that 82% are abused by their own father yeah 7% by the grandfather another percentage by the immed only 4% is the strange does forc to it they were pushed to it now I don't I have anything I always feel sorry but is the story I mean there's only small percent will to have no choice right because trauma how do you get out of that cycle yeah it's terrible so I work with transgender sex workers they it is actually Unfortunately they for they have a choice and they make it because they like if we going into corate or if we go to any other field they will judge us like within seconds so they're like this job people won't judge us because people come customers come to us yeah customers come to us because they also having a need for being vulnerable isn't srika is is Sri Lanka oh wow oh yeah yeah I work with them very closely and uh so for them they're like no this job is amazing they will never complain about the job they will complain about the legal angle because police are not being Sri Lankan police uh but uh but they like this is like we feel welcome in this job whereas if we go going to any other job I know like right now yes we are also talking about this big big corporates global companies and all that where we are celebrating pride month and all that I mean like I think I saw it yet but I'm sure like you know there's a lot of companies that celebrating pride month and all but these are like these small villages and all stuff like that where it's not that recognized so they're going to be so might as well going into this yes um I ask something about it so uh let's say this is from something I have seen person right there's this trans person who's like going to all these forums they speak out there are like uh handful of people who are doing being a transgender they are doing well and they they do these Workshops the you don't have to go into this field you can come up to the corporate you can do your own thing and one thing I go within like of course they all have sry stories right but still then again now let's say for a heterosexual there's okay you're a guy you're looking for a girl there's a market available yes the problem comes in the problem that I have so you go in the morning to all these workshops you're trying to make a like you're trying to make the point we are forced into this we don't have a thing in cooperate yes but then again the same person you identify there's a market for transgender people to grow and then you utilize it isn't there a you using the market you know there possibility plus you want the legal system to help you as well legal system doesn't have any sort oftion yes so you want legal system to sorry for yourself is it the right point to make plus I have another question does the cognitive miss it has anything to do with the experience I'm say whe the Miss right or not whe the cognitive me comes from the experience when she say you see five people during a day yeah but still that's only one day out of your life that's true yeah I'm not saying whether the whether the stereotyping is right or I'm just trying to understand where no you're absolutely correct because so two points whether the cognitive Miss have a connection with the experience that you have plus when we should be sympathetic towards these people do they really take it for take it for granted or they manipulate the M this come from experience right absolutely things that we learn from yes the other day my son was asking for the doll okay I have no problem but my mom was like why is he's a boy and I'm like I don't have that problem have andys because even we like to play I like yeah you know if you're going to bring up keep saying girl have a house that means we are we are we are starting it at home we don't have to take them anywhere else so stereotyping is coming from our yeah yeah yeah it is it comes from everything right like where and I think sometimes we do it in a good D sometimes not so good intentions but again and sometimes it's the way we think we are putting it onto the child but with the cognitive Miss what happens is see again it's about a choice we make some people might let's say uh I'm racist towards a certain group of people and I work with them constantly but in my head I want to stick with this idea that I created these people are horrible and sometimes I could still not learn a thing so you can work with them you can make them better but still you're going to hit not better I mean like like let's say I hear transgenders I have a very bad idea about okay so and then I need a lot of and the people that are really honest human beings that work for a living and all that and if I still don't want to go with the accurate analysis if I don't want to spend time into thinking okay maybe I was wrong like what he did like like when when you kind of thought of like okay maybe like I mean for you it took six hours which is amazing for some people it could take months and years and years and they still choose not to like no I don't care even having that like the positive input they still might this is just one of them exactly yeah and then you could always you will always try to come up with different different excuses as to why I want to stick with what I believe imagine if I have a child and from day one I tell this child blueeyed people are evil right and then I and then he grows up thinking of this and then he had to move to a country which has a lot of blue white people it's his choice at one certain point okay these people are not evil but my mother said this which should I believe right and some people make the choice to be like yeah Mom's nuts and choose this or some people like no my roots tell me that this is evil I feel bad and this is how I mean today we're not going to talk about unconscious bias but we will have like a complete lecture on unconscious bi but this is how it happens as well so it's a it's a PO like is it a biological thing or is it a psychological it's a psychological it's a thing we like at the end of the day if we sit think about I mean I guess it happens to do with self awareness right like cuz I I do this like because of the field I tend to do a lot of self- awareness Journeys one day like the first I was just like going through a month of self- awareness questions and journaling the first question was are you a cat person or a dog person I took I think more than one and a half hours to answer this question and I know it's a very simple thing and all my life I thought I was a dog person and then I realized oh no no I'm a cat person I mean not oh no but that's because like you know my grandma didn't like cat so my father learned not to like cat so with my father my sister learned not to like cats and so I thought I'm also I mean I thought I like cats but I'm not a fat person but this is why like sometimes self- awareness is so important to actually realize what is my stance on this because a lot of people don't really think and like sit and think wait what is my attitude towards the gay community what's my attitude towards Easter attacks what's my attitude towards working from home like we might just get influenced by other people talking but we won't really sit and think like wait do I like this right so where is the problem like sometimes we say you know he or she is not know bra enough to figure it out we wonder why some people never think about this yes yes so is that what what exactly is it because you been influenced so much by what you have learned through your parents um or is it because biologically there's a problem or biologically no it is it's basically like the we don't want to put in the effort into being precise or if we don't want to put in the effort into recognizing that we were wrong for this many years I don't want to put in the effort to think like oh I had a very bad attitude towards transgender community because that will make me feel like I'm a bad person right like if we didn't like prostitution or we didn't like prostitutes a person might not want to kind of think oh I was so judgmental towards this community right like and I know a lot of people do want to Adit right when you look at this like on YouTube and all you have this like Ken and like you know social justice Warriors and all that they don't want to no I'm not racist I have black friends but then they do something that's racist right and I know like even during Easter attacks the word black WR exactly exactly and even I remember during like the Easter attacks like so many of my Muslim uh friends were saying like we are really scared and because all the friends that we had closly they act like they didn't even know us and I'm like yeah that's so true because people were just saying like one of my friends don't know if this one what is wrong with you right you've known this person for this many years why are you just willing to just that's the thing right nobody wants to sit and be like where or it could also be the implicit biases that we have like the already stereotype right like sometimes finally coming out like remember last time I was telling where that man um at the women's day um Forum he said I love my wife to drive it's kind of like that right and and I know like I I try to make my father a feminist and I think he is he's very empowering towards his daughters but not always when it comes to his wife cuz and I understand you know sometimes he would do some misses and I'll be like listen I don't think this was right because if like our husband saw somebody does this how would you it's like no no no then it's not it's the same thing now so I guess it's about being okay to understand okay I get sometimes I get it wrong like even with my words I try my level best to not use the word guys when I'm talking to uh class but it does s right cuz I've grown up with it but it's all about recognizing I did something wrong and I want to rectify so a lot of people don't do it right I'm not saying I do it that I'm amazing no but I might also not do it at times but a lot of people would rather just go with the cognitive Miss and just like be like no it's a special case I don't want to think about it I don't want to put too much emphasis on so this is what happens when stereotypes are that where you just stick with an idea and you don't want to let it go you don't want to expose you want to be close-minded you don't want to change your opinion about anything and I really think the day we think we know everything that's a very sad thing right like I I had this one client he was like 40ish I not that old and he's like I've read every single book that is I've learned everything that is and in my hair I was feeling so sorry sorry for him I was like oh know that sounds like you know that means you close and whereas I have this friend who's a live course she has a bucket list for every 10 years of her life up until 100 I was like how are you going to do things when you're 80s I will figure it out I was like okay I like the spirit I know right like yeah she's like no I forever want to experience things and learn things and that's amazing so yes um online ones any questions up to now did I use all the oh before you okay everybody all right I see the names so the next I have a small activity for everyone you can do this on your own I just want you to come up with like a V diagram might be bit hard so the activity is to basically I want you to come up with all the groups or majority of the groups that you belong groups could be through religion could be through gender uh sexual orientation nationality hobby work anything I want uh the online ones to also do this and then maybe we could share the screen into so that I could also see yeah should we try that you could do it in a v diagram style but I'm guessing that will be like a very yeah yeah it'll be very hard you just my video that's fine sorry star could you please um elaborate on what you want us to to to do in terms of what groups sorry that was not very clear no problem so I want you to come up with a list of things where you like list of groups that you identify with like for example if I come up with mine it could be I am a female I'm a psychologist I'm of a certain I'm a Catholic I'm a Sri Lankan and then I went to this particular school or I work with next things like that where it's because we we are parts of so many groups I know it's not like physical groups or something like that but we are we become like who we are is parts of little little a lot of groups like I I'm a I'm a person who only has a sister or where it's same gender uh sibling something like that is that understand did did I make sense yeah that's great thank you awesome no worries after that is it okay for my virtual ones to share the screen or just send it while the message or something or we could discuss it that's fine whichever so even if it's like 20 30 things it's okay hi um yes I'm trying to get online from my computer but I don't have a password I'm just using the link in my email is it possible for you to give me a passcode a passcode I'm sorry I didn't cat that can you repeat you can like hello hello yes yes you were saying you can't you're not yeah sorry can you repeat I didn't hear you very well yeah um I'm trying to get online from my computer but uh it says I need a passcode I've tried it couple of times oh I see okay okay give me a minute I'll tell sash all right thank no problem send it to them also I have kind of Forgotten all your name thank you very much appreciate no problem keep this have you ever done an activity like this okay you want to come up in new ways identifying dangerous yourself and I'm telling you like with inclusion and diversity half the time I'm like I need to be politically correct I need to like not take these these examples that's why like sometimes I'm like yeah we just because like when I like I next we're going to talk about social identity Theory like so when I'm researching like even in YouTube know they like not to S Politically Incorrect they always say because we are talking about very weirdly sensitive things and also I mean at the end of this lecture I would even share with you like I think I could share it on mod there is this online test at Harvard doing called Harvard init bias test and this is when we get to yeah we get to test down biases and oh my God I was like the first time I did it I like what no what was that male and career oh I had a strong for male and career and female and family and I was like what uh but then I was I asked that I was wondering how it works based on how quick yes yes yes yes yes yeah yeah that's that's exactly what we did with the word play right the Prototype just really up my mind because that's not what I think I know I know but I understood that's what my body felt even though like my brain hased it I don't think the body can unlearn that's probably and I guess it takes time right and we also need to experience it because sometimes even if like like for example for me I am very much into like females need to be career oriented and they need to like not give up on the field and things like that but then like whenever I see my friends who are very much family focused and hom makers and and I'm like you know what like I wonder if I want this right like and I might I mean at the end of the day I don't think the world is ever black and white but personally wanting it and asking everyone else to is two different that's true yeah just because you know oh absolutely you want believe that femal should be family oriented and you are imposing that idea I think that is wrong yeah but if I genuinely feel like I want to be family oriented and that's mind yeah but here what I'm saying is sometimes I might think I want to be family oriented sometimes I might think I want to be car could dma that you have yeah yeah there's a concept I would um talk about it I talk about very fast it's called cognitive dissonance yes it's when we have two contradicting thoughts and it happens so many times right like we don't know like is this right or is this right or do we stand with this do we stand with this and we just choose what at that moment makes more sense and yeah we could get it wrong so I guess it's kind of like that but yes like I was saying this lecture is very I don't know we're talking about a lot of taboo taboo things and we are forcing ourselves to judge ourselves and judge others and then at the end I would be like no you can't do it anyway shall we share awesome how many did you all come up with how many did you I was thinking how to not you know do this in a way that's like so I I sort of grouped it into person as in me okay place as in where I've been or you know and then people I associate okay and passion wow okay so actually there are a lot I'm still writing but okay like uh when you say person why did you come up with so so group is male yes uh Sri Lanka yes Buddhist yes politics no okay but under person I put basketball because that's so it comes as a passion also but uh in this sense basketball in general so as a person so these are things that interest me and so there are other things that I'm still filling up there but then place I wrote my school okay and uh then my past affiliation with uh in my in my organization the department I was working in because there we have a there are two groups like my very first place that I worked in was my City branch okay and we have a group for that then we have a group for my uh card center yeah so all the people work there and are now working elsewhere so that then my current place like my human capital department and even within that I have like my own unit group and there's another you know sub group like that then overall we have a senior Executives in a group uh then for next we have a group okay that's a place yeah yeah yeah then people it's more like uh affiliation because we are like-minded people yeah so my batch group in school and then my final a level class we have a group yeah and then I have a crazy group called rjp we call that really jobless people so people uh across different ages different um in in my bank so we got together because we have a common interest okay so like that then uh then my family grew yeah and that also we have like one for my five of us my my immediate family my wife my kids and my sister we in one gr and then we have an extended one um funny it's like it's called jjw because it's all the initials of the the main families wow yeah so like my my wife's family and that means her parents and her brothers and then my family yeah and then uh my brother-in-law okay the two of us we married into that family so three of us like you know the three families like that and passion Toast Master coaching my school basketball community so h a lot like yeah oh absolutely nice next whoever wants to share okay sure so I nice yeah yeah books books then I said openm SL creative okay mother/ parents yes yes SRI Lan as well uh working mother that's another group I also haded middle class okay and then short short short that's a very interesting yeah this physical like like I get it I get it J Short okay all right so I said feale female C yes Banker girl guy uh cat lover traveler music lover a book work Korean drama lover cup and TW TW Twi I'm a twin I oh you're a twin oh that's one next [Laughter] time oh so identical I have someone like that in my class yeah mix it up they come for lectures together but they have two different tutorial always and they we the same out I know which one are you I like come up with like a different way of doing it what we spoke about last week yeah I put um mail yes j s Lankan Asian cam Hindu I said again school okay oh my gosh know that okay wow that happened very far as a corporate trainer lecturer consultant only kid oh yeah single musician fashion dog lover creative entrepreneur so we are actually I'm in one of these world's creative pool of experts I'm in that group nice and a mov okay very nice right let's say m cathic corporate job uh that's I think on the social yes uh on like personality let's say selectively okay I like that selectively conservative as well realist uh and creative over numbers I think okay numers yes numbers but creative numbers okay wow then on like maybe things that football and that's go to sports from very young age and then this is controversial I I like controversy drugs over drinks okay all right that's what I've known for like within the peer group okay like like the closest I am the one who like Supply yeah not the supply I find it hard to find I get it these days it's not easy okay but you don't judge no judgment that's the thing about equ diversity I yeah okay drug drinks something new I heard I know I all right anything else ter don't go czy oh for sure you don't Define yeah it's okay don't justify don't justify Dr like if your that's stupid of like if you don't if you don't know drugs don't do the like the stupidest version out of it like there are like steps to go there for sure let me have the virtual one uh I'm going to come up with names I hope that's okay can we go with usani what did you come up with hi yeah uh for me as in Buddhist so Buddhist Asian okay athletic CL and my school batch group and the class group and I'm doing ballet in ballet main group ballet group and then I'm doing raising in racing carting group yeah racing parting only and then yeah and then my work uh zero plastic M and yes so so on which just where where are you connecting from zero I mean I'm from Sri Lanka no no no come to Kal today yeah yes no problem awesome all right no it's because you said Asian right yeah I just na that's category that's fine no it's because like you know I I've heard a lot of people say Sri Lankan but not a lot of people say Asian that's why I was like you know it just got my interest okay awesome anyway next one Savita hi hi I also B up but it's more or less similar to what we heard that's fine male Sri Lankan Buddhist I'm inan the HR fraternity and my school group my B groups my alumni yes and the passion I have on Cricket and training training and development yes I'm a dog lover uh M lover I'm a dog lover M dog lover okay Sports clast and uh Offroad Offroad nice all right uh then we have Dianna aif the yeah I pronoun hello yeah hello um also have few things yes um I'm a Muslim I'm a Malian female mother and I'm a basketball player AR yeah I'm a reader and I work in a telecom company I belong to senior management team and uh also I'm in the cohort one of um Howard leadership program for okay I'm also a coach and a mentor for office colleagues okay all right thank you who's next ah Stephanie is here Stephanie Stephanie here okay before K hi um so my groups are quite similar um but I just want to ask a quick question I mean I'll just quickly run through a couple which might be different um I call myself a Sri Lankan Patriot but a global citizen um I'm uh and that would probably be the one that's a bit different but the others are quite similar musician then you know University groups best friends and uh um you know uh female arts and culture things like that but one of the things I wanted to ask you st I find when I was doing this exercise I found rather that um if say maybe 10 years ago I would have had much larger number of groups because I would have really um considered myself very you know specific to my school group my batchmates my you know um my best friends but I find over time you say 10 years on um those are much looser so in a sense that I don't necessarily identify myself so specifically in that way for example 10 years ago I would have said you know absolutely you know this is I fit in this one group but now I think it's the lines are a little bit more blood and is that something that happens with with age with experience with um the lines become a lot more you know fluid I think absolutely and I don't necessarily want to identify myself specifically I mean we we all feel those of us you know who grow up in Sri Lanka we feel very strongly about our school groups I think that's something that's very unique to Lans we have uh we have our school and our B and that stays with us forever you know if you don't School in Sri Lanka you'll never really have a group of friends that's what I've discovered you know um but but still whilst that's really important to me I wouldn't really necessarily count that it's being a you know something definitive of me now because I don't think that defines me yeah does that make sense it does and and you know it's so weird because we are actually going to talk about that today because okay great okay actually like even with like the social identity Theory we're talking about in groups and out groups right and then little by little the reason that people start changing is because sometimes we don't always 100% agree with one roup like I'm the same like you kishani like I mean I love my school I'm a past famon I love my school but I will never I don't know why I never identify myself as a a familian like in a forum like I don't I don't don't think I mean I know today I'm talking about it but it's very like nobody knows that I'm a familiar and I don't know why and it's also because I guess I don't know if it's because of my past experiences that I'm understanding I'm very different from what I used to be or it could be different if like I I don't identify with that yeah and I'm somebody like I am a strong Catholic but majority of the time now I'm I'm not saying I don't have the faith but I don't say it all the time because of my profession because I've seen like people might because of the stereotyping people might think like oh that means she can't understand Muslims or she can't understand if I'm talking about something with regard to Buddhism and I'm like no I understand it right but I don't want that so because of it I don't want to like put myself in like but yes I am in a lot of troups like I would say I've been in theater for a second but I don't want to say it CU again I've been in there for like a second right so then I I might not know everything and I might not agree with that entire group's Dynamics or the unwritten rules and things like that so like for example I know like a lot of familian have this thing like if you have a daughter you have to put them into po family and I'm like yeah no I don't want to do that so it might be an unpopular so it depends and that's why I think Isani you said like little by little like the older and older we get some groups it starts getting more blurry and even though it's not that we are ashamed to say no nothing like that it's just we're not as strongly as what we used to be so I I must um I must re I must reiterate it has not I I very strongly identify with my school and I I owe everything I am to it so it's it's um quite the contrary it's just that I feel I I don't think any you know particular group defines who I am or what I stand for now because I'm very different from you know what I was back then it is a huge part of who I am yes however I think it just takes a little bit more than a few labels really to you know to identify who and what I stand for so sort of that's where I was coming from okay thank you for thank you now uh St I need to ask you a question yes about what you said now I have a similar uh people say I'm a proud royalist proud they use that but I've never use that for my school because I don't resonate because of but is it stereotype of in group or is it because of the bad experience I had in my school it could be both or it could be one of it yeah right like where I guess for me like after a while you recognize like yeah it was your past and you don't really remember who you used to be in that I mean you might remember but you're not that anymore right there would have been one moment in your life for one time period in your life where you would very proudly say I'm a proud like yeah I that okay I don't say but I think it's about like I mean I've had moments where I've worked with some companies or like you know in certain other let say company but when I was there I loved it and then recognized oh my God right now I don't want even my name to be associated with the right like so it's because it could be experience it could also be like I recogniz like I was once doing this whole volunteer thing at one place and I loved it and I still love the idea of it but I don't want to tell it anymore because it's not who I used to be and sometimes even if I do agree with whatever I don't see myself doing it again I don't see myself I mean sometimes it's almost like I've had a individual change that has made me leave the group but again this is but I hope you I answered your question what mean like sometimes with the entire group um who else do we have sadana sorry am I pronounce that's okay traveling I think s can you hear me yes yes I can hear okay right H yeah now I I am traveling but uh I'm trying to listen to the lectures as much thank you but I wasn't there the beginning of what it was but I think I'll say it how each and everyone so uh I don't know uh Hindu okay female uh I don't just working that's all no I like books okay that's that's it okay I I am quite party like I swim a lot okay um but not nothing more all right all right okay thank you who else idam what about you yeah let's do it um I'm male mulian Muslim um I'm the youngest kid I I call myself a peacemaker okay person um a coordinator a listener a husband and accept him person and Aviator and a South poor which I take very pride in okay yeah that's basically nice all right all right anyone else that's here did I come do everyone I think I did no who did I miss sorry no no I'm now wondering whe I should tell more in detail now that another person okay so I'm going to try again uh Hindu female uh introverted coordinator and Implement um yeah that's it thank you no that's perfect I know we need a little bit more time into this sometimes you when we can take like even hours and hours we could forget the some of the groups were in so no problem all right so I want to make two points here right one point is when everybody was reading I don't think anybody like at least like if I take you you would have had at least one thing that you could share with right so have you seen this video on YouTube I didn't want to show it today because it'll take some time but there's this video saying don't put people in boxes right tell the name so we put boxes yes it's don't put people in boxes or putting people I I I'll I'll that's that's Scandinavian one where they keep calling out yes groups yes and they ask like I actually see if we have time we could that's an old one right yeah yeah it's pretty old but it's very powerful so what happens in that video is when people are asked like go into boxes they can go to into so many boxes and that's something I realized like I'm sure all of you recognize that today right where we would say I mean yes we were saying some things that not everybody could relate to but majority of the time we would have at least one or two or three things where another class member has right it could be um we're both females or we're both of the same religion or we're in the same field we from the same school right different thing and the other thing I want to say is like usually I'm so glad that all of you came up with very different things like you said short right and that's like physical features is weirdly something that people would find themselves in categories I'm wondering why these two didn't say the obvious one because like I I remember like I had like blue hair back uh some time ago and I was like at a um I think I went to watch a movie or something and then the girl like there was a cash she was what did I buy I can't remember so I was I can't even remember what I bought but I got something she was like oh I love your hair and all that I was like oh yeah we were talking for a little while and then and then I was like finding out like wondering why it be like just start talking about and then I recognized she also had like little shaks of some other color I kind of remember what color she had but but in that moment we kind of connected through a hating and I've seen that with tattoos like what happened last time right like you were connecting through tatto so physical features and I know like you know heavier girls might understand things that they go through together and short girls also I've seen like you know there's also jokes and stuff right it's not a not a stereotype abely it's just like those are the common exactly it's a group so this is not stereotypes this is group right so yeah I mean it's kind of like where you're in a group of people who also understand and is able to relate to things that people who are who have been shorter than the majority recognize and I've seen that with heavier girls right like when I'm with a group of people who are more heavier side they're like oh like you know similar things like physical features or whatever and so physical uh features and then some of you mention the birth oil either only child or twin or I have this sibling and so that means that becomes something in your personality that affects affects you or puts you in a grou and this has happened to me because I'm a younger sibling so then in my family like all the cousins and all we have like the older siblings always get like special treatments so then the younger ones are more likely to be like oh this elder ones always getting this and this so because of that itself we've been put into two group and we always have that weirdly group thing and then personality you said you were introverted so that was something yeah I don't know I thought I was but now I feel like okay that's fine I thought I was inter people but now yeah because you like when I go to the groups I'm the last on to stop talking okay then again there are like everywhere else I'm not talking yeah call SEL I thought I think that's it could be right in the middle maybe it's a defense me I mean I I always think like when I blur things when I know more and I blur things I always think maybe okay all right or it could be different identities all right so there a personality that was discussed there are so many different types of groupes what else did I mention yeah so there physical features physical activity wise we so different different types of groups and this is where I'm going to go into the social identity Theory put this some so this theory was who sorry okay all right so social identity Theory suggests that groups are part of our identity and self-esteem so it was Henry Taj who came up with this he had his like you can go and check his history I'm also not that fam that's what I want to talk about in class but as I remember he um his he was saved from going into concentration camps but then he lost his parents and family who went into camps and then he studied about like identifying the different different grouping and things like that so he came up with the social identity Theory over a period of time and so what we understand is a group member the in group out group it consists of social categorization here oh sorry yeah so comes through social categorization social identification and social comparision so this is what I this is why I wanted everybody to understand the groups that they are in in order to how seven level who is is it is it around 10 minutes walking was it Stephanie h no I I think it was Sana why am I pronouncing her name wrong I'm sorry sadana I think your mic was on I don't know whose mic was on I I muted somebody that's probably my much apologies no wor that's fine all right so we go into when it comes to this what about Cal di count so does that mean that they don't identify with group they do what is that a little it is I mean that's the thing with a lot of these theories right like at the end of the day we come up with different different methods of explaining like I'll give you just very random example of Personality like when we take personality there is so many different theories on personality there's the Big Five personality then there's a 16 PM right which is my and then there is the isic personality it's a whole other thing so and then there's dis uh which is now corporates are using a lot so like that we can't tell this is right and this is wrong even with like social identity Theory and different different types of like social theories like even culture sorry you said cult Dimension T because even then it it doesn't say this is the ultimate it's kind of like how um you know there is always an exception to the rule I'm not [Music] talking I'll add that also that's a very important point Thank you with culture Dimension though they're going into more emphasizing on individualism but also through how culturally people are so you know way that is how they're getting affected through a group right CU I think it's very hard for a person to be 100% individual unless you grow up without anybody in a island so then in in terms of cultural Dimensions what they meaning is the fact that we are instead of I using the word we use it as I but then if you're also using the word I that means I am not going I am saying that I am unique I don't identify with any person in this or yeah isn't that very contr I know there no right like to said no right or wrong but someone can always argue saying this Theory isn't right bed this yeah yeah yeah I'm going to love reading your assignment no because this is what critical thinking is about right where you recognize it but see then I mean I agree with that where for me I might not be able any of you might not be able to 100% agree with just one person in this group right like when you read your list yeah there's one from this person there's one from this person there's one from this person and there's no two people that's so alike and and I think that never come I mean I've talked about birth order I've talk about personal that I mean I know people have preferences but the first time someone very cool so the three FAL processes in social identity Theory are categorization identification and Compass so the categorization is where we saw similar people and objects uh so that we're able to understand and identify them so if we take like a school we understand okay people who's going to this particular school but I also know sometimes people don't like if they've only gone to like one like one year or two years in that school other people don't like if they recognize they that right like oh no you just came for a levels or you just came something like that so social categorization happens which is like a natural thing like twins where you know you might do you know other twins that that also and sometimes you know like we people connect through similar birth similar birth months yes like November BS or April bores or June B okay then social identification have people mod this is the tricky part people modify their behaviors attitudes and beliefs to match the group they belong to right like uh is it to is it belong to only or to belong also say where they modifi to belong to a group that's conforming right that's conforming something like yeah yeah it is because I mean sometimes in order to belong to a group we might modify certain things right like for example let's say I usually like to wear very like shorts or short dresses or whatever but if I'm if I know I'm going to like a church meeting or a group of people that I've met through church or whatever I might modify change my appear to mat I would definitely rightl cult absolutely so it's things like that we just but there are that means it should I'll give you an example it's confirming in a in a good way because you're respecting the but no you're talking about somebody who's out group coming to that okay okay in group yes yes so let's say I had this one friend um she's a she's a Muslim and she would always wear like she would not cover or anything and she was very like um she'll wear whatever she wants to wear but whenever she gets a pikney and the pikney guy uh so her name sounds very Muslim so because of the guy would like if he's also Muslim he would answer the phone saying umum and she's like and then she comes and I'm like what are you doing and she's like no no no like you know I don't want to like you know I don't want to create any weirdness or anything because I don't like that and I'm the same like I don't always wear the cross but certain times if I'm going to like fire or something I would right I have another my name it's not a Muslim until you told today I would not have that yeah so I got into the guy looked at me he said you're said yeah so I was covering at that point I me he he was rash is I said yeah so that's what I understood he saw the name rash and I mean I was completely I get it I didn't to judge you because you can't help it right for sure I mean we we also base people on the name exactly are learning it's just that I have learned to be like okay that's how he he but that's how World works yeah yeah so in Social identification the part that's a little bit tricky here is because sometimes you might end up doing things you don't really like just to belong just to belong to the group like I'm going to use something like drinking yes that's a big thing that happens so it's is kind of like peer pressure also right like I'm going to come up with a weird example now I'm sure I don't know I don't think I talked about this but most of you would have watched Friends right I think I talked about Rachel smoking so this is the where in order to belong to the group of the same team she had to go and smoke so that she won't miss out I remember um last B we had one student who brought up the whole this drinking culture at po because he doesn't Dr and he says like you know weirdly he misses out on like the Friday night parties or like just going off for a drink or something like that and then he's like then the like some people tend to become closer and then when you have closer connections at work you are more likely to do their work faster when you're in and he's like I'm missing out on this take a look at the Sri Lanka movie industry I know if you are a person who drink who you completely don't get work yeah yeah not because of anything because you know they don't connect yeah that's the thing yeah yeah so people sometimes although they don't have those type of behavior yes they force themselves and some then they don't know where to draw the line exactly you know again it goes into Bing so this is what happens with social identification where you are doing little little changes is that good thing or a bad thing depend depends yes but what would a good thing be like something that's fine to a good thing would be something like a good Abit that you yeah like you join a gym like you know because friends are going to yeah or even like this yeah or like sometimes you know like certain companies have uh you know less Let's uh have a more healthier lifestyle and things like that so I mean I was at Famas for a while and I everybody would like climb the stairs and we were on like the seventh floor and B like no let's climb the stairs and fine so now next I one I will just take even like this to master clubs um in organizations right people want to be in that because you know they wanted to associate with those oh absolutely which is a very good you know soci absolutely so that's good that's so social comparison this is also the bad part this is actually majority B part where we compare our in group with other group to confirm our identity this is when like see I I guess it's only Homo sapiens that do this where we have us versus them yes within the same species because and maybe like some animals don't like when other animals are weak so they attack but other than that they don't have a full like this whole grouping thing like but for us we the same species but we have so many groups and like like we could see so here what happens is like let's say for example even now this is a weird example but even now I have the physical students and I have the virtual so naturally there's a grouping that happens here right and if I like when we are doing the group assignment you are going to have to be in put in groups so then naturally there's going to be that uh different grouping setting so this is what happens with social comparison where it's US versus them and of course then favoritism things like that happen what is we so people make up the social compar some it can also because be because of their insecurities right because you compare you want to say I am Superior or we are better off and you want you can't say it alone so you need to get people together yes and then say hey we are together better than and so you you spread that social insecurity yeah Technic social comp is just that right it is that is it more individual thinking or group grou grou group but it can be from one person yeah because yeah one people sometimes compare departments yes yes right in an organization oh they are like the privilege department but sometimes as he mentioned it might not be the whole group think like that maybe one individual and if that particular person is an influencer yes they could completely change person so it's like Sol as's experiment but in the other way right just one person dictates this one person most likely feel like they could do that yeah organization I was like one of my friends small company they always had problems and they wanted me to just come and figure out why it's that yeah then when I actually spoke to few people figured out the boss's right hand they call him right she is the person whatever she wants to get it done she will show like the best face to her and she will go and Trigger everyone else yeah as then please remove her from the team she was removed it's smooth wow yeah no sometimes it's honestly just one person or like I mean do we have any royalist still yeah not in physical are you royalist no so for royalist I know I know this rule isn't there anymore but then they have this thing about like you know so prect quarters like no teachers or principls would work there yeah so and then the fact that they were probably able to keep that I was like wondering how this like teachers principles everybody they won't even like they understand like no this is the go is prefect so they given that and and it could have been something one or two people came up with or one batch came up but this remained for years and years and years I know now I guess it's changed but that's how long it also go so same rule applies at of java anyone from there so when I went to lecture there the first warning or like instruction that was given there something called ta so I was thinking ta like something no it's like a that's not what it means no no means what you call like what is that like a walkway okay you have like a a place to sit okay right so that is what we call this so they said you cannot sit there even as a lecturer or you can't even step on it they h a lecture like students because that is only for those seniors wow like a culture in that organization so it's a group thing so it's like only for senior people not even a lectur or anyone can't even put their feet on the fact that you know like the senior people which is your lecturers and princip they all agree to it is nuts that's the thing that's the power of a group that's the power of a group and you know they will completely go against you yeah based on the the strength of the group yes B they get influence like so and another thing is like with with social comparison and the reason like these things go for ages and I come up with a very controversial example like you know so most of the time like our legal system like the p c and everything we kind of got it from India and India got it from UK right and we are still like consing it when UK has changed their laws and then India has changed their laws and I'm talking about the homosexuality act but we haven't done it we haven't done it I mean they're talking about it but I don't we are just going in the same Circle that's the thing like we are just continuing this SP so recently the same sex gender right I saw they burn the burn because they were saying it's a it's a problem to our culture yeah anyway so moving on social structure and individual identity becomes social identity and so there it's a desire to belong to the group so that you get to enjoy the positive things of I mean being in a group I day like we see this like uh like movies where they have like even in the lunch hour they have groups like like the jobs the know the me or whatever so they do get to enjoy like the luxuries of being in that grp and then social comparison between inou grou happen so then there's in group favoritism and then there's our group discrimination this is the part where social identity the shows that this grouping thing can be very bad because see like now we discuss how many groups we belong to that we all can belong in the same group so if I were to draw boxes here and ask like okay now get up everybody who is the first uh born child or everybody who's a female or everybody of who speaks this particular language or everybody who likes this particular movie maybe like the drugs over drink something like that right like if we ask you guys will be moving around all the time all right so diversity and exclusion so this is the issue with the soci theory is because there going to be a lot of exclusion where that is out group discrimination and a majority of the time it is women and minorities that face this but I know because we keep saying this now men are also faing right like and I think um because I don't think this is happening in Sri Lanka but I'm I've seen some news about how six gender males often feel very attacked because uh these other groups are given a lot of attention and priority and so the minute there's a white male they're more likely to be uh you know judged Ser person so I guess it's taking turns I feminism like now the feminism we have now it's actually that's the thing it's not feminism in the that we want equity and that's not the feminism that's supposed to happen saying all men are bad that's not feminism for sure yeah so that's probably that's why so what I meant what do you mean by white now because you know a lot of people say like oh the whites have more power like in in America and all like you know they are given more favor ISM they have a bigger chance of going into University than a black person so now it's said like women I mean here also it says women and minorities face more Prejudice and are more likely to be in these out groups compared to white men so then it's come to a point where if you take a white man a woman and somebody from a minority let's say a black person or Mexican or transgender because companies want to show inclusion and diversity they might choose these two whereas this one might no yeah that is happening CU for should bece I know right change it's the right thing to do I'll tell you a very classic example I went to judge a beauty P I go very often overseas on different so I was in Sri Lanka judging this beauty one particular girl comes yeah she's a little flow yeah dark that is not a problem yeah yeah but she was trying to play this sympathy card over there saying like wherever I go I get rejected because of my dark and I'm Plum uh you know I hope that I will be given this opportunity the judges over there feeling like really guilty but they like and then when we were deciding who are the top five that was six that we should pick and this girl wasn't in my list because of anything because you have to look at the knowledge intelligence facial appearance is very important for right and they were like oh we should give her no that means you're taking out another eligible person's chance because that you wanted to include this person which is completely wrong absolutely so as you said even between a white and a another person if this particular person is more capable an organization should surely go to that particular person that's so sure rather you know yeah because at the end of the day because see what happened is because there was a lot of this um people who fit in mentality people went with in group members right now we're trying to completely uh um leave that and go to extreme group M which is also bad because then that means we only doing the things that other companies see we are being very inclusive and we diversed no it doesn't have to be it just have to be the Bal can this person do this job absolutely whether it's black or white or Asian it comes back top first CL you know you don't just have women in your company just to but you need to have because now we are having a lot of diversity H which makes zero sense the problem is we look at D and I but we forget the e what is that what that Equitable oh yeah Equitable if we if we look at being Equitable then it doesn't matter what color skin or what from absolutely you look at that's the best thing for sure so s may I ask a question please yes please go ahead sorry uh it's a little bit it's ever so slightly off topic but it is relevant to sort of the whole holistic um you know this entire subject um I just want to I would like to know your opinion because mine probably is slightly different um every time you mention uh you know biological gender you use the word CIS and I know this is you know accepted in certain places and this is a little controversial so I'm just asking the question so you keep referring to you know the biological gender cisgender and I would submit that perhaps yes there are transgender but then you know biological gender so I I am a woman I wouldn't call myself a CIS woman because I'm a woman so I would like to know where is this um you know where is the kind of acceptance that we need to be referring to why is this coming into General language because this is really more of a social contu construct right really rather than um rather than it being an accepted way of of being uh addressed and I personally don't like to be considered as a CIS woman I'm a woman right yeah so if if if if if you want to have the alternative that's fine no problem at all but that should not necessarily then affect the way I am addressed why should that why should that affect me so I just would like to know your opinion because you know even in discussions you always talk about cisgender and and I don't think that's a proper it's not really a real thing just because there is now a transgender that's fine and you know perfect you know who does to that no problem at all but then why does that have to affect the rest of the language just to you know just to kind of include why why why does that happen and that's happening across the conversation so I'm just curious this comes up in a lot of forums and since we're discussing um this particular subject I thought you would be the perfect person to ask really no thank you that was a very interesting question and yeah I mean I'm recognizing like you know some people are like you know people are talking about why do we have to use this pronouns thing and why do we have to like you know because I think now even LinkedIn has this option of putting your pronouns and then uh some people use they them pronouns which people like grammatically it becomes very Incorrect and grammatically confuses a lot of people he's trying to ask like to answer the question I think for me it's a personal thing where I want because I mean I don't I I think I use it to because when you say women we could also come up with trans women or cisgender women and all kinds of things so I guess that is the reason I always say sis to make it a bit more clearer but it depends exactly it depends because and I think I mean maybe I say it a lot I mean even this whole guys thing I do it a lot more when I'm at next because I diversity and because uh people identify me as a psychologist and I guess because of that when I'm playing those two roles I am more likely to be very much taking that identity because I feel like uh I could be looked at as an ally I could be looked at as an ally for psychologist or as an ally for a lecturer who's teaching Inus D so in that case I think that would be why sometimes that okay thank you no problem yeah it is could be start someone else know exactly that's actually another reason because uh I think it's C because I work a lot with like the lgbtqi community and all so and I do want to give out the message that I am a very uh what do you say vocal alive uh because like you know I guess it could be because of work or it could be because of my friends or whichever and that could be one I have actually not thought about that but it could be thanks no no I it's just something I I I find very curious and something that I've always she's a writer she she's like you know this is grammatically incorrect when we keep doing this they them it's very like I don't know how it's going to affect like children when they start learning English and all it's going to be very confusing exactly yeah right has a really good point absolutely she because so I also agree with the polies gender sometimes iuse sometimes I here yeah yeah but I don't understand why it's necessary for us to label ourselves uh I think across our L yes maybe in different situations that's that's a good point because no longer do we have M female number now we have so many absolutely and I don't know I mean I don't even know I don't even know if people who are part of the lgbtqi even though the no I mean as some like I I think like you know I lecture about this topic and all that and I still don't know all the different sexual orientations because there's so many and it keeps getting at it she a really good point absolutely because another thing K is like I would identify myself as a woman if I'm like when I'm in different crowds like a family gathering or like uh if I'm with my friends all that you know I'm always talking about women's rights and things like that and then I'm less likely to talk about you using the terms like this but that was a good point because I think it's about recognizing see for me my personality always forces me to be the in the middle which I I mean I know ideally it's easy but it's really not right like according to the different situations I'm in I have to choose which extreme so sometimes if I'm talking to somebody and I know the community has like people I'm talking to are more likely to have uh you know more open-mindedness or whichever like that I would choose my vocabulary also very careful that Mak sense you can't I gu talk about it's an all you can't a middle yeah that's why I'm like always supped to in the middle but it's hard it's that makes sense because you have to respect people's wishes yeah um what thank you for that St the the only thing um I gu I would just put this out there and we know we don't have to come to a conclusion it's just something to probably think about during the course of the program is that one of the things that bothers me if you like with the whole pronoun discussion um is that the moment you start and I this is hugely controversial and you know please don't take this in any other form other than as an academic study um because I personally I mean I I would I come from in an industry which is you know hugely diverse so I you know I um I accept anyone as how they are it it really doesn't matter to me what your personal preference is whichever way that might be but the thing that bothers me if you like I use the word bother Loosely okay and quite you know freely is that um you know the moment you start uh using different pronouns so so you know he she they them all that business and if you once you start attributing female language to uh biological males then you open up that door to to female space so this is something that I feel very strongly about for example you know this is a huge topic we don't have to go into this but you know men in women sport so this is a huge thing you know a lot of controversy coming up to the Olympic Games uh lots of this is going on and I think this is where I I just you know like to keep it up in there that yes we have to be sensitive we have to be accepting we are very kind that's the whole you know a lot of these theories come from the whole beind movement um lots of difficulties that they face therefore we must include and all of that but I suppose what I'm asking is who is then being kind to the women because the women then biological women are being completely pushed against the wall um and nobody's really taking into consideration who is being kind to the women women are losing their spots on um you know sports teams women are losing scholarships women are losing uh Single Sex uh toilets uh changing rooms A lot of this is happening around the world and I think the normal ization of this for me is worrying as somebody who has a young daughter because I know this will affect her chances as she grows up so it's not you know nothing is right or wrong but this is where I say it's very difficult for me to go along with this whole you know it's quite fashionable to say oh you know I'm she her but I don't think it's it should not be taken so carelessly because the knock on effect um long term for the younger girls our daughters who are growing up you know we're eating into their space really and nobody's really thinking about the young girls and who's really being kind to women yeah that's all I've got to say on that so I'll leave it there but just something to observe I think what is really saying is that it's always been a losing battle for the right absolutely and now we fighting not just nail yes but now we fighting with transend I mean she's SP on on that absolutely yeah yeah this conversation requires some drugs but you know when it comes to this I have a Cog Dison because I want to respect but she's right I can't change I don't know how I will ever put they them a sentence you know because grammatically it's not right yeah yeah he she same thing so she's absolutely right about you you want to respect but oh for sure I guess it's about like I mean it's also because sometimes people take it to a whole other like what what we discussed with regard like how America is taking the whole movement and all like it's going into an extreme exent right but remember like last time I was talking about like this was the case with women right like so many years ago we didn't have rights or whatever and then women were not career oriented and things like that and now I think I think I saw it yesterday or the day before where fre marriage is uh the rate is going low and then child birth is going low and this is also happening because women are choosing to you know focus on the career I know which is nothing's wrong with it but then somebody might say you know we're not getting enough the population is getting still or there's no kids coming in and there's people are more likely to consider you know not getting married and like not having children or living together kind of a thing and again I guess if we kept focusing on that people would have never been okay to educate women right because if you look at it yeah okay family structures are different and we've made it work but then I guess now with the whole transgender or this lgbtqi community the reason that it's very hard is because we are also looking at very extremes right because we are seeing it all over the world we're seeing the extremes all over the world where people are recognizing our they do Transition in like like children are given the right to make that decision at a young age and then they are deciding back again so because of these extremes also it's very hard for us to recognize like what do I like like you said there's a huge cognitive dissonance here into recognizing like where do I stand but it's also happening in countries like devop countries that's problems they don't have the problem exactly they don't have the problems that we have because I guess in First World countries majority of them women don't have the problem of getting I mean they might have other uh issues but I don't think they have that same level of problems that Sri Lankan women the Sri Lankan women we don't have because for us like what we said earlier like culture plays a huge role and culture itself forces women to be in certain and I mean like this whole like you know kids should stay with their parents still they get married that's a very Shri Lankan thing now if you take a look at M Universe like one of the ancient Beauty pant in the world from misses from last year it's changed misses could take part transgenders take Rec have but Miss Universe is only from mes yeah for like from the ancient times see I'm a I'm a person I'm always you know support of this diversity and all those things but I think changing that would might because they want to include and show the world it doesn't work you know people from the experts from this industry they we don't agree with it um because see because a country can send only one representative yes yes so because they wanted to show that you know they are encourage exclusive yeah another person who is eligible who can even have a power of P would not get the chance to get there absolutely and surely these people are never going to give you transgender person or like you know the never going to give it so I don't know whether sometimes you know people fight for it and you know whether the purpose is me true really that's true yeah because I guess we are focusing on like those kind of things % whereas it's actually it doesn't have to be that big yeah right it does not have to be with regard to like you know Beauty patterns all impics no it just have to be at a workplace yeah that's it it's the most simplest thing where if you're hired hire do gender blind hiring I don't look at the name on the gender or the so like marital status or religion for me very basic teach your children to respect yeah starts from there like still I see like you know there's a transgender person activist who speaks and all yes I still go and see how people go and comment under a post first can we that mentality in the organization that's true that's the thing so it's actually like so when we go to the next slide I quickly do that too change that yeah it's not it's a little little thing so what we do now is we try to go into this societal change right we try to change the society all time no but we have to first go with individual absolutely agree with you and and then we going to group change and then we go into organizational change and then we try societal change but here what we also could recognize is organiz organizational change can influence individual and gr like I I this is example of the whole b word this is the organizational thing that happen right and then like I mean a lot of organizations are able to put in more emphasis into our legal systems and me um I we don't have that Cas study this time but we have this case study previously for the students it was on a company called thought Works in India um that is IP Solutions company and uh we we would take like one case study about this whole trans community and like a small scene there so when you're going into thought Works history it's an actual company uh when you go into the history they have supported this uh gbq Community even before India legalized legalized yeah so India also had earlier India also had like the same law that we had because we copied we got it from yeah Bally copy from them and then before they did it I mean not in this again so in that case study we are recognizing don't be activist don't do this extreme things companies can't do it because companies need to always look at like we can't lose clients right we can't lose customers we have to play very safe we have to if we agree or not we have to do that but how do we still show some support without overly doing it so like you said it is about Equity right it's not equality because I think equality is longer we have to recognize that's not making any sense any so it's about like knowing as a company since we are going into business psychology we have to know how do we still make inclusion and diversity but also make profit right how do we make sure that people are not judged or people are not stereotyped negatively or that but how do you also make sure that the majority is also not attack like just I mean I have this one C from this very big company in Sri Lanka and she was saying so there's M leave there's leave and now they're coming up with transitioning Le which is I mean so if somebody's doing gender transitioning like surgery and things like that does lead to that but I was also thinking that's a little bit too much right in a Sri Lankan organization SRI Lan I mean okay it is a global organization but Sri Lanka has a h roject but I was thinking this is a bit too much because this is going to give the wrong kind of attention to the community you just have your medical leave and exactly you should just use your medical leave you shouldn't go with like why do I mean in that case is there something for somebody who's going through dialysis do you give leave to that no then why would you have to give it for transition Sur that's a good point because lot of organizations now say that we have given a lot of things to employees and now they asking for more so this is transition is actually asking for more the more you give the more we will also want so then I could easily come up and be like you know why don't I get period exactly exactly yeah no but you know there's a lot of global companies who give but then again that be we give the the nursing hour yes we practice that but what I'm saying is sometimes if we are showing support for lgbtq Community as a company we have to make sure not to do it in a way that majority is going to hear lgbtq because that's what's happening the companies are doing it wrong because you can't make one one at the expense of one group a benefit to another exactly then it's not Equitable also no absolutely I mean it's the same with the pous movement right they have a very wrong thing going on now where they are doing a lot of men bashing I mean that was this one like I used to love this mental health program that few mental health Advocates did in shra and they did one episode on feminism and oh my God watching it I was like what is going on because they were just talking all the bad things about men yeah and I'm like stop it yeah I was like just stop it stop it this is so bad like you're putting out a really bad message which is why I will always talk about Emma Emma Watson's HEI campaign speech where she's telling let's Empower men so that they don't you know they don't feel threatened to resp respect I'm not say that's why they don't but you know we have to teach our son exactly so it's the small changes right so before we go into societal change we to look into these other things individual group organization and all that and then lat by it comes but in terms of like nursing that makes sense yes because like it makes sense transition doesn't make sense because I know so many people who went through transitioning surgery they didn't like they didn't want to use that as an excuse they would just apply for their medical Le and I mean I know like you know sometimes you need to get those testone injections and things and some of my friends they would like wake up really early tell the office okay instead of 8:30 I'll be there by night they'll go to NS get the um get the U vac or else they go to hospital and get it and then quickly go so they're like I don't want to use it as an excuse and I think women did that too you know women had very bad period and all that but we still made it to work so just like that I don't think like transitioning surgery should be given that much it's not the making it to work I that's the person but it's the organization looking at it you know some empathy not sympathy but because then that is also really bad on everybody else in the lgbtqi committee because by bisexuals gays lesbians everybody else they don't get the same thing we [Music] all explain like what is a transgender what are the problems they going this is why it's important for us to do because I don't think having those no we not forcing people we need to do this ex what's happening and and when when we are doing like education diversity training a lot of times it goes wrong because it will make people who are in the majority feel like oh nobody's talking for us and it will make you like that's why like even women's say if we are having like an event for women's day that doesn't mean we mean like men get more women don't I yes to a certain extent is true but when you are emphasizing it men feel like we're attack let's get defense yeah obviously if somebody is attacking you it's a human evolution like that's not what women are saying and asking we not saying we want to attack your or take that it was depends right we want same it's like again it's like again an individual's perspective of that yeah um some would consider as you said like you know all the men they like against them yeah some they really don't have that particular so again we cannot even generalize it it changes from one individual to that's why when you having those conversations you have to think and think and think and make it as politically correct as possible which is why sometimes it's important to be very careful with how you anyway I think we reached first class ending the others are just things that you could just go through and check it so we'll meet again at 2 p.m. yeah awesome all right thank you very much see you all at two sorry there thank you