Boosting Self-Esteem After Breakup

Sep 18, 2024

Improving Self-Esteem After a Breakup

Lecturer: Coach Black, Internet Relationship and Breakup Coach

Importance of Self-Esteem

  • Core concept in no-contact strategy and indifference towards an ex.
  • Essential for becoming attractive and allowing an ex to be drawn back to you.
  • Breakups are emotionally challenging, affecting self-perception and vulnerability.
  • Consciously working on self-esteem is necessary despite external affirmations.

Five Tenets to Improve Self-Esteem

1. Cut Off Negative Influences

  • Action: Remove anyone who doesn't value you.
  • Reasoning: Affects subconscious self-perception and impacts social hierarchy.
  • Reference: Jordan Peterson’s "12 Rules for Life" – confidence through body language.
  • Key Point: Your self-worth is influenced by treatment from those around you.

2. Shift Your Focus

  • Action: Focus energies inward, away from the ex.
  • Reasoning: External focus renders you powerless, affecting emotions and self-esteem.
  • Quote: "Taking action leads to confidence, inaction breeds fear and doubt" - Dale Carnegie.

3. Avoid Secretive Negative Behaviors

  • Action: Behave in ways that would make children (real or hypothetical) proud.
  • Reasoning: Secretive actions impact self-worth and self-perception negatively.
  • Goal: Develop habits that align with self-respect and personal pride.

4. Pursue Passion and Love

  • Action: Engage in work and passions that fulfill you.
  • Reasoning: Passionate engagement promotes success and self-esteem.
  • Example: Channel passion into projects like YouTube, inspired by personal interests.

5. Improve Strategic Weaknesses

  • Action: Identify and work on relevant weaknesses.
  • Reasoning: Focus on weaknesses that align with personal goals and improve life quality.

Final Thoughts

  • Self-esteem is foundational for personal growth and improved interactions with an ex.
  • Enhancing self-belief aids in maintaining boundaries with an ex.
  • Importance of self-focused growth over attempting to mend relationships.

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