Lecture Notes: Phrases Narcissists Hate

Introduction

• Topic: How to manage conversations with narcissists using specific phrases.
• Presenter: Christina, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach.
• Objective: Disrupt manipulation by narcissists and regain control in conversations.
• Resource: Free checklist for identifying phases of narcissistic abuse.

Key Phrases Narcissists Dislike

1. "I'm not responsible for your feelings."

• Concept: Boundary setting; not being manipulated by emotional reactions.
• Narcissist Reaction: This may come off as condescending and may lead to attempts at gaslighting.
• Purpose: Reaffirm personal accountability only for one's own actions.

2. "I'm not going to do what you want."

• Concept: Saying "no" and setting boundaries.
• Narcissist Reaction: Entitlement is challenged, may lead to manipulation, silent treatment, or anger.
• Purpose: Strengthen boundaries and reduce narcissistic control.

3. "I don't agree with you."

• Concept: Asserting independent thoughts and opinions.
• Narcissist Reaction: Defensiveness, twisting words, gaslighting.
• Purpose: Stand ground and affirm individual perspective.

4. "I need some time to myself."

• Concept: Asking for personal space.
• Narcissist Reaction: Viewed as rejection, may lead to manipulation or withdrawal.
• Purpose: Reassert control over personal space and decision-making.

5. "I've already made my decision."

• Concept: Finality in decision-making.
• Narcissist Reaction: Challenges their control, may lead to attempts at manipulation.
• Purpose: Reinforce autonomy and reduce sway of narcissist.

6. "That's not acceptable behavior."

• Concept: Calling out unacceptable actions.
• Narcissist Reaction: Attempt to deflect or gaslight.
• Purpose: Assert self-respect and set behavioral boundaries.

7. "I trust my own judgment."

• Concept: Confidence in personal decisions.
• Narcissist Reaction: Attempts to make you doubt your judgment.
• Purpose: Reject narcissistic control efforts and affirm self-trust.

8. "I deserve respect."

• Concept: Expectation of mutual respect.
• Narcissist Reaction: May mock or express anger.
• Purpose: Affirm personal rights and self-worth.

9. "I don't need your approval."

• Concept: Independence from narcissistic validation.
• Narcissist Reaction: Efforts to undermine confidence may increase.
• Purpose: Reinforce self-value without external validation.

10. "This conversation is over."

• Concept: End unproductive discussions.
• Narcissist Reaction: Attempts to drag the conversation on.
• Purpose: Set clear boundaries and reduce drama supply.

Tip for Effectiveness

• Main Tip: Avoid emotional responses to narcissists' reactions to maintain control.
• Practice: Controlling emotional responses helps preserve gains made through using these phrases.

Conclusion

• Action: Use the described phrases to regain control and assert boundaries effectively.
• Further Resources: Additional videos and guides on managing reactions to narcissists.