Hi Curious People! Maudy Ayunda, here. Welcome to my Booklist, where I'll be sharing 3 of my favourite insights from books that I've read Today, we'll be delving into the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie, an American author and teacher that focuses on self-improvement, public speaking and interpersonal skills. Carnegie is a proponent of the "Responsibility Assumptions" theory, who believes that people can change other people's behavior by changing our reaction to them. And in this book, the author gives a lot of tips that can help us become individuals and leaders that have a great impact, a good communication skill and one that people like. Let's go to the insights! First insight: call people by their names and smile! Turns out, according to the author, there are two simple things that are often overlooked when we're interacting with people: names and smiles. Carnegie thinks, names are the most important words in any language. When we remember someone's names and greet them by their names, it makes them feel appreciateed and shows that we value them in our life. And then, our facial expression is also an important communication tool. When we smile, we give an indication that we're happy to chat with that person, we're comfortable with them and we like the topics we're discussing. Also, smiles are addictive! When we smile, others will almost always greet us with a smile too, because smiles are contagious and it gives off positive vibes. So that’s the first tip of influence: call people by their names and smile! Second insigh : How to give feedback. It's true that no one likes to be criticised. And when those critics come across in a wrong way, may get people to be defensive, feel hurt and be closed off. So Carnegie thinks, when we don't agree with one's opinions, or when we need to give feedback to someone there are three ways we can go about it: firstly, never say "You're wrong", use questions instead. Ask questions that lead to your opinions, but never say directly "You're wrong" "Oh that's not true!" explicitly. If we do that, people tend to get defensive and it will comes across as if we don't appreciate their opinions and way of thinking. Secondly, use the sandwich technique for a softer approach! Sandwich technique is a technique where you give constructive feedbacks where it's accompanied by positive comments about the things they've done right or their achievement. As this creates a more balance sentiment, people tend to be more open in listening to our feedback. Thirdly, we can start by acknowledging our mistakes and flaws first. When we acknowledge our mistakes in front of people, we’re actually giving them a “safe space” for them to reflect on their mistakes too. And they will be more open in accepting their flaws. Third insight: Make people feel important! Carnegie says to always make the other person feel important. If we can follow this principle, we can have a lot more friends and happiness in life. So, we need to treat people the way we want to be treated. And how do we do that? It's actually pretty simple. For instance, when we say "Sorry to burden you", "Oh can you please help me...", "Thank you so much!", these things may seem small, but with this, we show that we appreciate & value that person in our lives. Another tip to make others feel important: focus on others people's interests when we're chatting with them. Ask them about how their life is going, their hobbies, they will certainly feel important and they will be more receptive in interacting with us. Remember the quote, “Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours”. So what? For me, the structure of this book is very easy to understand because it's divided into 4 parts Fundamentals technique in handling people, How to make people like you, How to win people with your way of thinking, and be a leader, How to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment. And I find it very applicable because it reminds us of these basic things that are often forgotten like smile, remembering people's names, being a good listener and many more. But I also do think that there should be a caveat to this book because if we follow and apply the learnings word-for-word, there's a chance we might be a people pleaser and forgot that in some cases, like toxic workplace and relationships, we still have to stand up for ourselves and set boundaries. So it's important to remember that this is not a one-size-fits-all strategy for all interactions that we will have in our lives. Okay, thanks for listening Curious People! If you want me to read a book and share with you my favorite insights, please leave your book recommendations in the comments below. Also, for the most interesting comment, I will give you a copy of my How to Win Friends and Influence People with a special note inside from me. So, don't forget to subscribe, like, comment and turn on notifications. See you next time!