You're not popular because you're not understanding the two behaviors that make people actually like you, which are agentic and communal. So in today's video, I'm going to show you how to use both agentic and communal behaviors to make people like you. Let's start with part one, what we call agentic behavior.
This is any action that you do to show confidence. This is the type of behavior that helps you stand out, earn respect, and makes people like you. Make them want to follow you with these four simple techniques. You see, if you do these four things in the order I'm about to show you, you're gonna make anyone obsessed with you and your aura.
You see, on the left side is how most men act. On the right is the version of you that everyone likes. First, never stand or walk slouched over.
Instead, tense your glutes, core, and triceps and make yourself instantly stand straight and upright. Next, never have your shoulders rolled forward. Instead, bring your shoulders back and down.
and lift your chest up almost as if there's a string attached to it that's pulling it up to the ceiling. Next, never cross your arms or legs. Instead, keep an open body language.
Finally, never walk too fast. Instead, when you start walking, walk slowly. Just look at the difference between before and after. By just doing these four changes, you will completely change your aura and that alone will make people like you and start following you. But to truly become popular, you're going to need to follow the next few techniques I'm about to show you.
Never talk. When somebody decides to talk to you. When someone is talking to you, it doesn't mean you should immediately start engaging in conversation with them. This is a common mistake I see almost everyone making. So, the next time someone starts a conversation with you, do this instead to show more confidence.
First, when someone starts talking to you, you want to make sure that both your body and your feet are pointed directly towards them. If they're not, it just signals to them that you don't care. Second, you want to maintain strong eye contact at least 80% of the time. If you feel too uncomfortable doing this, you should try looking at the spot right in between their eyebrows and then every 5 seconds or so you can glance at their ears to kind of take a break and then come back. Third, you want to nod your head slightly up and down to show that you're focused and you're engaged in what they're saying.
Fourth, you want to give small affirmations like, okay, no way, wow. These little words are like ad-libs that just show that you understand or that you're interested. Fifth, do not speak.
right after they finish. Instead, you want to pause for around three seconds to show almost like you're digesting whatever they just said. And it is only after all of this that you should start speaking to show both dominance and confidence. Third, you want to spend 95% of your time on this. You see, true attraction to make people obsessed with you is about 5% of you talking about what you're going to do and 95% of you actually doing it.
However, what most people do They'll spend 95% of the time just talking about what they're going to do and they never follow through for you to become likable. You need to spend 95% of your time doing things and only 5% talking about them. This becomes especially powerful when you do things that most people are afraid of. For example, in social interactions, people are scared of rejection. So here's three steps to overcome it.
First, I want you to look for a friendly looking guy in the street and approach him. Then ask him, If he can buy you lunch, I promise you 99% of the time, this guy's going to say no. Good. Because after that, you can walk away and realize rejection is not the end of the world.
And you need to be able to face it to truly become the confident guy that everybody likes. Look, one of the fastest ways to overcome rejection is to talk through it. Check out a company like BetterHelp, which is our sponsor for today.
They can help you work through your emotions or find the root causes of your fears because you're going to be speaking to licensed professionals. And by doing this... You're gonna overcome these fears faster. Next, I want you to go and look for like an older woman.
Ideally, she'll have a ring on her finger. This time, approach her and ask her for her number. Again, 99% of the time, she's gonna say no because she's married or engaged.
But because you knew that, you won't care as much and you're gonna start normalizing rejection and won't feel bad about it and will start to desensitize yourself from that fear. And if you pair this with like speaking to a therapist from better health, you can start talking to them and explore your emotions as to why you always feel intimidated around women. This is a conversation that most of us men can never have with our boys or with our parents or with our brother because you internalize it because you have to be massive. But if you have a licensed therapist, you can talk to them in confidence, whether it's through text, a phone call, a video call, whatever you feel the most comfortable with, draw the comfort of your room and start battling those fears faster.
But once you've gotten here, I want you to take it to the third and final step. Because at this point, you've started to normalize rejection from both men and women by approaching people that you knew were going to say no. To do this, I want you to approach a girl that you actually find interesting and ask for her number.
If they say yes, you've scored a number. And in the worst case scenario, they'll reject you based on who you are. And sure, it'll sting, but you will get closer and closer to being incentivized from this fear of rejection to make you that confident guy that everybody just wants to be around.
Again, if you guys want to start talking through this, start talking about your fears of rejection or what stops you in these social settings from being that confident guy you can be, I suggest you guys check out BetterHelp, which is going to be linked down below. You can betterhelp.com slash TMF and get a special discount for your first month and start talking to a licensed professional today. If you guys want to check it out, it'll be linked down below.
Now we're moving on to part two, which is communal behavior. This is when you're, whenever you're warm or friendly towards others. This is the kind of behavior that makes people want to be around you that no one talks about, which means it is the most important behavior for you to master if you want to become more popular.
But let's move on to number four. You want to make their braids. produce dopamine every time they see you.
If you want to make someone like you, there is a psychological mind trick you can use to make them produce more dopamine. This will make them addicted to you, but you're gonna need to do this correctly. This is based on a psychological phenomenon called the reciprocal liking effect, which say that a person will like you more when they think that you like them. This phenomenon exists because by nature we as humans we're social animals. We need others to survive.
So... Our brains end up producing hormones like oxytocin and dopamine whenever we are around other humans that like us. However, remember I said you have to do it correctly.
You see, this can backfire because that liking will not be reciprocated if it's based on three things. If it's insincere, if it restricts our freedom, or if it's inappropriate. So, here's what you should never do if you want to show somebody that you like them and make sure that they end up reciprocating that liking back first. Never sit there looking at your phone. Second, never look at her chest or her legs.
Third, never sit there with your hands on your face looking away. And fourth, never stand directly in front of her blocking her exit. Always stand off to the side.
The best approach here is whenever you're with her, keep your hands visible by keeping them on the table when you're talking to her. You can also make large movements with them when you see them and you're talking to them. Also, when you're listening, make a point of nodding and say things like, aha, okay, or interesting to show them that you like them. And then there's genuine interest. 5. Say these two lines whenever meeting a girl for the first time.
You see, anytime you meet a new girl, there's two lines you should be thinking of. The first one you should use with her, which it's better through text, is There's something intriguing about you. This, I promise you, will instantly spike her interest and she's going to want to know what do you find so interesting in her.
99% of the time she's going to respond to your text and she's going to follow up with something like What do you mean? or Tell me. And then you should respond with I'll tell you on our date. Just these two lines are gonna pique her interest. She's not gonna stop thinking about you.
Then, after a day or two when she asks again, or on the date itself, you can say a line like this, which I promise you, she will laugh. She will find charming, which will make you a date-thief. Compliment their insecurity to make them obsessed with you.
Look, you can easily manipulate people into liking you, but that effect will only last a short amount of time. I want people to love you for real. So, To make them love you forever, you need to make that person feel confident by complimenting a deep insecurity they have.
Now, no girl is just going to come out and tell you her insecurity, so here are the five top insecurities most girls have and how to spot them. The first one is teeth. If someone always smiles with their mouth closed, they're insecure about their teeth.
The second is hairline or their forehead. If they're constantly wearing hats or pulling their hair forward, they're probably insecure about that. Third is feeling underweight and sometimes A lot of girls will wear long sleeve shirts to hide their arms. Fourth is overweight. If you notice them constantly pulling up their yoga pants or pulling down their shirt, probably insecure about their weight.
And fifth, it's bad skin. Someone who's frequently touching or covering her face is probably self-conscious about it. Now, once you can recognize that sign on that girl and what her insecurity is, I want you to compliment it.
So here are the five insecurities in the text message or line you can tell the girl in person. If I were you, I would screenshot this and save it in your notes because by you complimenting their deepest insecurity, you're gonna make them feel confident around you. And that is the type of person people are obsessed with.
If you listen to me, and you doll any of these agentic and communal behaviors I just gave you, anybody you meet will love you.