Conflict Management and Communication

Key Concepts

Dialogue as a Communication Tool

• Most powerful communication tool: Holding a dialogue.
• Situation: A daughter wants to go to a party but needs to study for an exam.
• Objective: Communicate effectively to manage conflict.

Attacker-Victim Model

• Attacker: Someone challenging our perspective, e.g., the daughter asking to go to a party.
• Victim: The parent reacting emotionally.

Brain Model Insights

• Amygdala Activation: Leads to emotional responses (fight, flight, freeze).
• Sensoric Impulse: Daughter's request triggers typical fight/flight responses.

Staying in Dialogue

• Step 1: Listen actively and remain silent to reduce pressure.
• Step 2: Respond in an unexpected way by praising, confirming, or showing understanding.
  • Optionally, repeat what the daughter says to show understanding.
• Step 3: Use the power of open questions to steer the dialogue.
  • Start with building the relationship, acknowledge feelings.
  • Transition to the subject (studying) through open questions.

Example Dialogue

• Parent's Response: Understand the desire to party, but express concern about exam performance.
• Open Question: "What do you think about celebrating after passing the exam?"
  • This encourages reflection and a potential compromise.

Practical Application

Business Negotiations Example

• Scenario: Client mentions a cheaper competitor.
• Response:
  • Acknowledge the challenge, then question quality assumptions.
  • "Why sacrifice quality for price?"
  • Aim to highlight unique value proposition.

Additional Tools

• Logic Trees: Plan responses and navigate dialogues strategically.

Two Helpful Questions for Preparation

• Motivation: What is the motivation of the other person?
• Positive Perspective: What is good about their behavior?
  • Helps in staying positive and cooperative.
  • Example: Detail-oriented person is beneficial for negotiations despite seeming annoying.

Conclusion

• Goal: Professionalize dialogue skills to stay cooperative with clients or suppliers.