Lecture Notes: Ethical Non-Monogamy

Understanding Ethical Non-Monogamy

• Definition:
  • An umbrella term allowing romantic/sexual relationships outside the primary partnership with mutual consent.
  • Sometimes referred to as Consensual Non-Monogamy.

Types of Ethical Non-Monogamy

• Polyamory:

  • Focuses on long-term emotional intimacy.
  • Relationships can involve sexual components.
  • Participants form networks, or "polycule."
  • Consensual and aware participation.
  • Common Structures:
    • V-shape: One person with two partners, who are not each other's partners.
    • Triad: All partners are involved with each other.

• Other Forms:

  • Swinging, Polygamy, Open Relationships.

Demographics and Prevalence

• More common among men and LGBTQ individuals.
• Diverse community without specific racial, religious, or political predictors.
• Statistics:
  • 20% of U.S. population has had some experience with ethical non-monogamy.
  • 5% consistently engage in it.
  • As common as owning a cat or identifying as LGBTQ.

Misconceptions About Polyamory

• Gender Dynamics:

  • Misbelief that it caters to men.
  • Women often experience more power and are highly sought after.

• Sexual Focus:

  • Not just about sex; emphasizes relationship dynamics and emotional connections.

• Jealousy:

  • Jealousy exists but is openly discussed and managed.
  • Common goal to be supportive and maintain positive relationships.

Similarities and Differences with Monogamy

• Desire for love, support, commitment, and family are common in both relationships.
• Differences in fulfillment of needs, e.g., choosing a family vs. traditional family.

Benefits of Non-Monogamy

• Need Fulfillment:

  • Ability to meet varied relational needs through different partners.

• Activity Variety:

  • Opportunities for new experiences and diverse interactions.

• Personal Growth:

  • Exploration of personal needs and desires.

• Compersion:

  • Joy in partner's happiness, opposite of jealousy.

• Autonomy and Freedom:

  • High level of trust and openness.
  • Freedom to explore sexual identity and connections.

Benefits of Monogamy

• Perceived as healthier, though not necessarily true due to potential for infidelity.
• STI risks may persist if partners cheat.
• More socially acceptable; does not require disclosure of relationship style.

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