ethical non-monogamy is an umbrella term that basically means that a couple has an agreement that pursuing either romantic or sexual relationships with other people is acceptable within their relationship and sometimes you may also hear this referred to as consensual non-monogamy one form of ethical non-monogamy that you've likely heard of is polyamory while all polyamorous relationships are a form of ethical non-monogamy not all ethical non-monogamy is polyamory other forms of ethical non-monogamy include swinging polygamy and open relationships so what is polyamory it's a form of ethical non-monogamy that emphasizes long-term emotional intimacy sometimes this includes sexuality and sometimes it doesn't it can involve forming relationship networks often called polycules everyone involved should be aware that their relationship is polyamorous and they should all consent to the idea that the individuals involved may have multiple relationships and potentially sexual relationships there's no one size fits all when it comes to polyamory however one of the most common shapes the polyamorous relationship can take is a v-shape this means that one person has two partners but those two partners are not each other's partners you can also have a Triad where all the partners are involved with each other but polyamorous relationships can take any shape most of the time there are typically only two or three Partnerships that are occurring and not every partner may be given the same type of commitment and expectations in polyamory an individual may have one primary partner and a few secondary Partners again there are no set rules for what a polyamorous relationship looks like when it comes to participating in polyamory or ethical non-monogamous relationships men and lgbtq individuals are slightly more likely to engage in these types of relationships race religion and political orientation have not been found to predict the likelihood that someone will engage in these types of relationships so what we can get from this is that the ethical non-monogamy Community is actually really diverse polyamory is a fairly common practice about 20 of people in the U.S have had some experience with ethical non-monogamy this means they may have tried out something like swinging or a threesome to put this in other terms ethical non-monogamy experiences are as common as owning a cat about five percent of the U.S population consistently engages in some form of ethical non-mogamy which is impressive number when you think about how roughly seven percent of the U.S population identifies as lgbtq so ethical non-monogamy is almost as common as being lgbtq and it may even be just as common but B reported less frequently due to stigma surrounding ethical non-monogamy about one in eight people say that some form of ethical non-monogamy is their ideal form of a relationship when it comes to polyamory people may have some misguided ideas of what it is for example many people believe that polyamory is more catered towards men and their needs and their experiences people may believe that women in polyamorous relationships are there mostly to serve men however typically women experience a lot of power in these relationships they tend to have an easier time finding partners and they're often more sought out as a partner and many of the community leaders and researchers of polyamory are women another myth is that polyamory is all about sex in reality polyamorous people may be having more sex and have a higher sex drive um they tend to spend a lot of time focused on the relational aspects of polyamory and not only with their Partners but with other partners partners they tend to have positive relationships with each other and be supportive and the emotional component of polyamorous relationships is a huge driving factor for why people are involved in this type of relationship there's also a myth that those in polyamorous relationships don't experience jealousy jealousy is a normal human experience and jealousy does tend to be more common in monogamous relationships but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen in polyamorous relationships it may be that those in polyamorous relationships uh may feel more open to talking about jealousy and maybe willing to talk about ways to mitigate jealousy with their partners there are more similarities between consensual and non-monogamy and monogamy than there are differences in both forms of relationships people likely want to feel supported and loved committed trusted have a sense of family and have healthy sex however these wants and desires might manifest in different ways for example in non-monogamous relationships people may want a chosen family while monogamous people may value a more traditional family benefits of non-monogamy include need fulfillment if your relational needs aren't being met by one partner then you may be able to find another partner who does fulfill those needs like let's say that you have a primary partner who meets a lot of your emotional needs but they're a bit more introverted than you are you might be able to seek out a secondary partner who is more extroverted and is willing to spend more time with you along those lines non-monogamous relationships also experience a lot of activity variety so you might be able to have new sexual experiences or go on a variety of dates with various partners personal growth has also been mentioned as a benefit so people can explore their needs and Desires in a partnership through ethical non-monogamy additionally polyamorous couples in particular may be more likely to experience compersion and compersion is sort of the opposite of jealousy it's where people can support their partner and their needs in a non-judgmental way and be happy that they're getting their needs fulfilled this can be tied to personal growth since we're shifting our mindset a bit to focus on feelings of Joy when other people feel Joy the last benefit that I'm going to talk about is autonomy and freedom in non-monogamous relationships there tends to be a lot of trust and openness people are also able to explore their connections with others or explore their sexual identity while still being in a committed relationship the benefits of monogamy include that it seems to be perceived as healthier well it's not necessarily true because people can cheat in monogamous relationships uh people tend to believe that being in a monogamous relationship is better for their sexual health because they're less likely to get an STI however about one in five people cheat in married Partnerships so since people might cheat and not tell their partner they it's still possible to catch an STI in these types of relationships monogamy is also more socially acceptable you don't have to come out to people that you're monogamous because it's typically viewed as sort of a default for romantic relationships