Understanding Survival Codependency and Narcissism

Aug 22, 2024

Lecture Notes: Survival Codependency and Narcissism

Speaker: Dr. Fox, Licensed Psychologist

Introduction

  • Topic: Survival Codependency and dealing with narcissism in relationships
  • Focus on the concept of Survival Codependency
  • Connection to experiences with narcissistic parents and relationships

Definition of Survival Codependency

  • Survival Codependency: An instinctive response to prioritize others over oneself, often learned early in life
  • Reflects a lifelong pattern of caring for others, particularly narcissists, at one’s own expense
  • Not a conscious choice; more of an inherent reflex

Characteristics of Survival Codependency

  • Individuals may accommodate narcissists (parents, partners, bosses)
  • Adaptation to avoid rejection and seek approval
  • Behaviors mimic survival mechanisms (e.g., pulling hand away from a hot stove)
  • Dependent on others for sense of value and fulfillment, often outside their awareness

Early Life Development

  • Childhood Example:

    • Child learns to suppress their needs to support the narcissistic parent’s self-esteem
    • Example: A child deflects praise for achievements to avoid punishment (e.g., silent treatment)

  • Workplace Example:

    • Employee adapts conversation to keep narcissistic boss happy, despite it leading to negative outcomes
    • Fear of punishment reinforces the survival codependency behavior

Consequences of Survival Codependency

  • Individuals face punishment, rejection, and shame when going against narcissists
  • Difficulty recognizing and addressing survival codependency within oneself

Identifiers of Survival Codependency

  • Do you put yourself second without thought?

  • Is there discomfort or dissonance when receiving praise?

  • Do you end relationships that feel balanced?

  • Do you often feel objectified or used in relationships?

  • Do you have a reflex to cater to the narcissistic needs of partners or bosses?

    • Action Item: Reflect on these identifiers and explore underlying needs

Overcoming Survival Codependency

  • Engaging in therapy can help address these issues
  • Steps to overcoming:
    • Recognize and believe in personal value
    • Hold oneself accountable to self-care
    • Embrace self-respect and worth

Conclusion

  • Overcoming survival codependency is challenging but vital
  • Encouragement to seek help and explore personal experiences
  • Reminder to like, share, and subscribe for more content
  • Thank you for attending!