[Music] this is coach Lee and in this video I'm going to talk to you about what you can do if your ex has blocked you on your phone or on social media take a quick second and click the subscribe button below so that you can be notified when I have more content that's helpful to your situation that includes relationship dynamics attraction marriage mindfulness and romance not just breakups so click the subscribe button below and let's get started obviously it's not a fun situation if your ex has blocked you on social media and on the phone though I talked about the no contact rule a lot of people don't find out about it until they have been blocked or until they have been able to see the contact with their ex is not doing them any good and that their ex actually turns mean and I have a video about that about why your ex actually turns mean when you keep contacting them they'd become cruel and will even say things almost like they're intending to hurt you I will link to that video in the description below but if you're watching this video then you were contacting them most likely and they blocked you the first thing that I'm going to tell you is don't try to get around the block to talk to them and what I mean by that is is that I have spoken with clients who have done other things so they were blocked on the phone and they were blocked on social media and so they got the great idea that they would just go to their house or their apartment and talk to the ex how do you think that went over see a lot of them they don't think that far ahead because I understand the situation if you were in this situation you're emotional you feel sense of urgency you feel a sense of loss and that it's getting away from you very quickly and you've got to do something about it right now and so you see those things well I can't talk to him by phone I can't talk to him by social media I've got to find a way and it's got to happen now so I'm just gonna go over there usually when that happens the ex responds with shock and anger and even disgust sometimes they'll even threaten to call the police sometimes they've even become violent now why is that well here's why let's say that your kid brother your kids sister was really irritated or upset about something and that it involved you and they just wanted to be alone they went the room they closed the door and and they locked the door and you came and knocked on the door and they said just leave me alone and the door was locked and you couldn't get in so what if you went outside and went around to the window and you opened the window and you went inside do you think that that person would say well that was clever I'm so glad you came in here to talk to me no they already told you I don't want to talk to you I want to be in here alone that's why the door is locked because I don't want you to come in so they would not think that you taking another way around their block would be clever or something they would be excited about they would probably be very angry and feel like you completely disrespected what they wanted and it will also make you look like a creepy stalker like they can't even say leave me alone and get you to do that that's a very helpless scary feeling for someone in that situation and you don't want them to see you in that light you don't want them to see you as a stalker or that you don't control or respect yourself enough to respect what they want so going around the block writing a letter using some other social media doesn't make sense because their intention was to keep you from contacting them to prevent you from contacting them so you're doing it another way only disrespects their wishes and will make them mad they don't think that you're being clever by finding the weakness in the system so why would your ex block you I'm going to go over a few potential reasons so the first one is that maybe it hurts them too bad so maybe they're scrolling and they don't want to see your status update they don't want to see a picture of you because it's difficult for them and you may be thinking well if that's the case then there's an easy fix I'll just show up again no it's actually very good for your chances of getting them back if you let them hurt and if they don't want to see you on social media or otherwise because of her that means there are other things that are going to hurt like being without you in other words it's not just going to spare them because they don't see you it's going to hurt anyway and your absence is actually going to wind up hurting a lot more than them seeing you on a social feed or getting a text from you your absence after a little bit of time is going to be more painful and cause them to feel the consequences of the break-up even more so so trust that and stay away you've got to give them the break-up and if they block you give them the block so they could also do it because they don't want to hurt you and this is a classic ghosting move you've heard of being ghosted it's possibly even happened to you in which case I'm very sorry because it's very frustrating confusing and it hurts but a lot of times that happens from a lazy person at least they're emotionally lazy the don't like confrontation so they don't want to see you hurt or feel like they did they sort of just take themselves out of the situation and at my ex back coach calm I've got an article on that the website is my ex back coach calm I've got an article on ghosting and a little bit of what you can do there it's fairly similar but sometimes they don't want to have awkward conversations or they don't want you to have to see a picture of them because they actually feel like that could hurt you and so they're trying to spare your feelings and the same is true that I mentioned before leave them alone give them the consequences let them see you're not fighting for this but you're not doing anything make them wonder and I talked about that in other videos like on how to get your ex back how to make your ex feel jealous other videos of mine where I talk about the importance of this and how quickly it can work and how you should react and I also talked about how you should react in my emergency breakup kit the link is in the description below it's extremely powerful extremely strategic and can help you get your ex back it gives you clear direction and guidance during this difficult time and it's a strategy based on 20 years to get your ex back another reason your ex could block you is revenge and I hope that you're not in this situation but if your ex is spiteful and mad at you they could block you because they know it hurt so the last example I said they might have done it because they don't want to hurt you but in this example they could do it because they want to hurt you and the reaction is often the same if this person is vengeful and has a lot of anger that's where it can be even worse though so do not try to go around the block it's still very important if they have blocked you is a general block even if it's just at one source they don't want you to try to find the loophole they don't want you to try to find another way to talk to them or be around them if they have blocked you that's their wish their decision that's what they want right now don't try to get around it or break through it respect is show them that you will respect their wishes show them that you will not disrespect yourself enough to try to force your way in like a creepy stalker which that's how it's going to come across I know that you're acting out of love and desperation that you're losing them but to them it's just gonna come across as stalkerish and creepy which is certainly not attractive and you need attraction you need your attraction level to be high and get higher in order to attract your ex back so another reason that they could block you is simply because they don't like you at all and again I know that that's really going to hurt to here but if you two had a very angry bitter breakup there was cheating there was fighting there was insulting there was family trouble where they felt like you did something wrong to their family or disrespected or insulted their family all kinds of things but if they are breaking up with you because they're angry mad and don't like you and don't want to be around you that it's really that simple then they just simply do not want to be around you that don't want you part of their life be respectful of yourself in this situation stay away understand that moving on will likely make sense and I would not give you much hope in this situation however oddly enough this usually at least in my experience has been one that I have difficulty predicting or projecting because they seem to come back at a higher percentage than I think they will so you can't take some heart in that even though I hate to give you false hope but if you were in the situation still do not try to overcome the block that will not be impressed that you tried to forcefully get to them even when they blocked you it usually will result in more anger fighting yelling and possibly even the police being called this could also be temporary and it's because they just want space maybe you two had an argument maybe they're not sure about the relationship and they just want to take themselves out of it from a little bit of time while they figure it out and so it's vital that you give them that space and I have an article at my ex back coach calm on giving them space and why you should the good news is is that most of the time if you two had a good thing and there was not bickering and anger the blocks are temporary you would be surprised how many times I get to speak to someone who says that they removed the block which since your ex knows you're gonna see that most likely that's actually really powerful because that means they either want you to see it or they're okay with you seeing it it means they're moving in your direction that maybe they felt they acted too extreme or too hasty really extreme reactions when you love someone can actually cause you to take a step back reconsider and even regret your actions so take courage if this is the situation if you show that you are willing to give them space and that you're in touch with the situation because people who are out of touch with the situation will not give the other person space they're the person that's beating on the door let me in let me in the other person says I don't want to talk right now I just need time and space to think and reflect and just be alone no you're gonna let me in that's not attractive it's kind of creepy and they're probably gonna want to get away from you because you're going to seem out of touch if someone doesn't want to be around you at that moment you you only do further harm by forcing yourself to be around them you cause irritation and annoyance it's not attractive attraction if you think about how vacuum works a vacuum is not pushing a vacuum is pulling like I've mentioned in a quote on Instagram which you could follow me a real coach Lee on Instagram that's real coach Lee one of my quotes was to be more like the Sun the Sun does not force its way toward the earth the Sun and it's bright magnificence and attraction stays where it is and the earth is pulled toward it now my quotes quite a bit different I just explained the quote but the idea is is that you are your most attractive when you're not pushing attraction oftentimes it's staying back and showing the other person that you will stay back until they are ready and they will come to you when they're ready that's powerful that also shows maturity confidence and love because love is not always about what you want in that moment love is showing you can think of the other person and even if it's not fun or it hurts you or it's not comfortable for you that you're willing to respect the other person's decision and so it shows wonderful things when you show them you can stay away it's when you try to force your way in and demand to talk to them that you can look very unattractive and I know that you probably haven't thought about it that way so I'm not accusing you of being creepy as a matter of fact you're not and if the other person could see inside your heart they would know that but they can't at the moment all they can do is see your actions and so it's important that you rise above the emotion and the desperation you feel so that you can think more long-term because you want this person back so be smart heed my advice on this so a lot of people want to know well did my X block me forever here's a few ways that you can know has your ex ever done this before that's using my first question people will say well yeah they did sometimes that's the case and if that's the case and the pattern was that they would unblock you after a certain amount of time then great that will probably happen again because as humans we are often creatures of and habit so if you stay away show them you can stay away let them fill up let them feel the consequences let them feel your absence let them feel the silence and hear the silence usually your chances are good they will unblock you again when they're ready was there a very negative interaction because sometimes they just need time to heal to process and if you show them silence sometimes that's the most kind thing you can do because sometimes you just need to stop talking have you ever been in an argument and you to just keep going and going and you're not getting anywhere and you're hurting each other making each other angry sometimes the best thing to do is just say you know I love you let's just stop talking about this this is silly and just say I'm sorry if I said anything hurtful and I'm over it if that's agreeable with the other person which a lot of times it is a lot of people just want to stop and they don't even see how they can stop because you're just going in circles and that can be the case if they blocked you that they just want to check out at the situation show them that you can and that you will let it go that's powerful and attractive were you begging pleading continually contacting them after a breakup because that's when they are basically telling you that they don't want to talk about it that they are done that at this point you are annoying them and you're not getting anywhere with them so if you did those things then a lot of times that will result in a block but if you don't try to get around the block especially if it's possible you know like for example if they just blocked you by social media and you were socially and emotionally intelligent enough that you didn't try to get to them another way then they can see that as you being mature so a lot of times people in that situation will say but how can I show them I've changed the fact that you leave them alone and give them that space and respect their block can show them you've changed if you were begging and pleading and not respecting their decision before that's how you show them you've changed you show them you respect it now so another reason is if they asked you for space and you didn't give it to them you know like there's an example another video I give that a lot of people laugh in the comments they'll say that that was a really funny story is a guy gave his ex about four hours of no con and texted her and said have you had enough space yet that shows he's out of touch because when someone wants space they will come to you when they've had enough space it's your job to give him space so if you haven't done that after they requested you to do that then sometimes they will just simply make you do that and trying to force your way in is again not the way to do it they will not be impressed it will just be showing you're still refusing to give them space the space that they asked for so the answer to this one is still stay away in fact the only time I recommend or suggest that you could make the decision in all decisions are yours that you could make the decision to find a way around the block if your ex has blocked you it's if it's something you did not do for example if they thought you had cheated and you truly had not and you need to get to them to give them the evidence or to talk to them and try to show them you did not or if they thought you said something about them or if there was some sort of an interaction where there's a misunderstanding there's different types of things like that don't latch on to that if that's not the case with you because you can't mess things up but even then give them some time with the block don't just respond instantly by trying to find a way around the block when you've seen it give them a few days so things cool down a little bit and then perhaps try another way of contacting them and be to the point explaining this has been a misunderstanding I really would like to talk to you because I think I can show you why this didn't happen like you think it did I would sure appreciate that opportunity something like that that's the only time that I really recommend breaking or trying to find a way around the block if they have blocked you but even then don't break it too soon or it looks like you're not respecting the block that you're not being mature and that you're being a little bit out of touch and creepy which again that's not attractive click the subscribe button below of this video has been helpful to you and also check out the link below about my emergency breakup kit preferably in that order subscribe and then take a look at the kit in the link below I also link to the other videos that I've talked about but just remember that a block is actually passing a test now your ex is very unlikely to be thinking that they are giving you a test and if they are thinking that way that's a little bit messed up to be honest with you and you should consider if you actually want to get back with them but it's a test that they will look back on and see that you've passed and what I mean by that is is that if they block you and you don't try to get around it for a good amount of time a month two months three months and they're looking back on this now I'm not saying that after that time that you do try to break it I'm just saying that they look back on it and they see that you respected that and you didn't try to force your way in that's where they can be impressed they can become more attractive to you because they could see that you handled this maturely reasonably with confidence with love with poise so you actually passed the test that they didn't even know they were giving you whereas if you tried to break through and try to talk to them anyway even though they asked for space and I could look at it and said they didn't handle that very well and you would have failed the test so if you've been behaving like you're failing the test stop past some of it past the last part of it show them you can be that way that you can be mature about it you can respect their decision and in that way it's possible you still could pass the test so that if they start thinking they're missing you and maybe they want to get back together with you or reach out and see if they feel some of what they used to feel then they will have the green light to do so because they won't have to think oh but what if it doesn't work out are they going to not give me space are they going to not leave me alone if I tell them I'm just not sure and I want to back off or I want to break up or whatever don't let them think that it would happen again 'we let them feel like you would not try to push through and disrespect what they want because that will encourage them if they think that maybe they want to try again because they won't feel like they're risking that that will happen again if they don't want to be in the relationship after all so don't let them feel like they would actually be punishing themselves if they try it again if that makes sense I have a video called how to make your ex jealous and there's ways in there where you can actually provoke in a good way or encourage your ex to undo the block and reach out to you and want to see you again want to have a conversation maybe even to reach out and say I've missed you and I made a mistake would you take me back that video is called how to make your ex jealous and I'll link to it in the description below and that's actually where I would suggest you go next or you get the emergency breakup kit which is linked to the description below I will go over that in greater detail there otherwise please click the subscribe button below and you'll be notified when I have more videos like this this has been coach Lee and as always thank you for watching [Music]