so lastly let's talk about communication characteristics and ethics all right so you know something I think that we need to understand about communication is one communication always has a purpose every time we communicate whether verbally non-verbally we have a purpose for that so the book it talks about several different purposes you can look at that um you know one of the things that I think is really important I do want to hit on this is that the way are we use communication a lot to help promote our Identity or like you know just like to construct this identity of self or this perception of self that is something we're going to talk about in the next chapter a lot so I won't spend too much time on it but it's very important that we understand that our communication and what's being communicated to us very much defines a lot of how we perceive ourselves and how we communicate or um maintain our sense of self so we'll talk more about that next time but there's also we communicate to meet our social needs we are social beings humans you know want to communicate with us when the worst things you could do is put someone in solitary confinement right um we make we use communication to develop and maintain relationships that is vital to every single relationship that you're in the more that you communicate the more self-disclosure that's there the more closer going to feel to that person and then we communicate to exchange information I mean we obviously like me doing this right now is to exchange information so you can learn so you can better yourself so that you can get your degree I need to exchange information with you they communicate to influence others um you know like when you want you might watch different videos different influencers literally on social media who who really try to encourage we also we also do this with our personal relationships we encourage one another we I hope that's what you do in your interpersonal relationships right we lift each other up we find encouragement we influence right so all of those things I especially think for me as a parent I influenced my like my child a lot through my communication so those are all really important things and we'll go more and like we'll go deeper into each of those uh main purposes or characteristics whenever we are in other chapters but I'll leave it at that for now okay so next we need to understand that communication is continuous so it's always going on it's going to continue like whether it's verbally or non-verbally is irreversible like even if you if you say something even if you didn't mean to say it and you try to make up for that you know the communication's there you said it right so it's kind of irreversible but you can make it better with your communication and then it's situated it's very much um it has to do with the situation that you're in specific communication settings um you know like how you communicate with me as your instructor is going to be different than how you uh communicate in a like at home sitting on the couch with a friend right so like that's going to be different and then um it's in dexical so you can kind of use it to gauge emotional temperature that's how we use our communication right so like you may be mad so you get really sharp with how you talk right um You might be scared so you aren't sad so you talk like this like it's indexable you can you can tell someone's communication climate um by their communication right so then we have communication messages very unconscious thoughts so sometimes we have just like spontaneous thoughts um that may just come out um like if someone hits you might go out or have you ever said like someone didn't hit you but you thought that something was about to tell you so you're like ouch and it didn't even happen right so those are like kind of spontaneous then there's constructed messages and those are the ones that we think very carefully about so um like right now I'm forming constructed messages all right so what are ethics ethics are basically principles that we want to go by um and so any effective communicator and I guess I need to say that is that effect at the end of this class I want you to Be an Effective Communicator an effective Communicator is going to go have some ethics right so we have um some ethics to be con to think about are one ethic ethical communicators are honest so they share that doesn't mean you have to be mean or rude we're going to talk about that in a second uh they're honest they act with Integrity so they're going to be the same like they're going to say the same thing you're not going to be rude wishy-washy you go behind somebody's back and commun you know say something bad like you're gonna have integrity um they behave fairly so they don't try to use their communication to hurt to bully to get their way um they don't they they demonstrate respect so their communication effective communicators are going to be respectful of how they communicate to people and regardless of who that person is and then in and they're responsible meaning they own their words they own what they communicate since communication is irreversible and we have to own what we say and make it right if we say something wrong or hurtful and so this kind of goes and this is where I'm going to end this goes with like with bright side and dark side messages the book gives you a figure of the bright and dark side messages so you have to take a minute look at those it kind of shows you how can you say a message in a way that's both ethical and bright and um or you know unethical and um dark so that way that we do that you can kind of see how that works but you can always be thinking even going forward this week think about how could I use my messages in ethical ways that say what I believe are honest that are have that they have integrity and they show respect right and they they lift other people's up and they are more bright than they are dark so be the light don't be the person that brings dark into the world all right hope you learned something thanks for watching