Stop attracting the wrong relationships. This video is mainly directed to singles, but others who are in a relationship or even married will benefit from this as well. You must understand that Satan sometimes distracts us and or he disarms us. In the book of Genesis, when Satan comes on the scene, he disarmed Eve by causing God's word to be doubted.
And she took the bait. And as she doubted God's word, she pretty much fell for it. and she became disarmed and she became defeated, disobedient. And then death came into this world.
And Satan always loves to question God's word so we don't trust God or his word. But there's other ways that he tries to defeat our lives and that is through distractions. And one of the ways that Satan distracts single people is by sending them people.
And they fall for those people and find themselves distracted and later on defeated and disappointed. So here are some of the signs. If the person that you're about to go in a relationship with or maybe you are in a relationship with is actually hell sent or are they heaven sent? Let's examine six things. Number one, when you're desperate, it blurs your discernment.
Satan is trying to defeat you through distraction. When you are desperate for a relationship, you become impatient, which leads to a blurred discernment. Satan will take advantage of that to distract you from the fact that the person you're pursuing is not God's blessing but Satan's bait.
You won't see the difference between Satan's bait and God's blessing if you lack discernment. Where do we lose our discernment? When we become impatient, impulsive and desperate.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be married. You know, there's nothing wrong with wanting or to be hungry for a blessing. But be careful that your hunger for a relationship A desire for a relationship doesn't become a desperation.
If you are to be desperate for something, be desperate for God. Jesus says, if anybody is thirsty, come to me and drink. So if you're gonna be desperate, be desperate for Jesus. Desire relationship but do not let the desire become a desperation.
Because once you are desperate, you become impatient. And once you are impatient, your discernment is blurred. And it's easy to trick you. And Satan takes advantage of that.
The second thing I want to highlight and that is this. Low self-esteem often attracts unhealthy relationships. Not only impatience and desperation is bad but also carrying a very low self-image is very unhealthy because you tend to attract wrong people sent by the enemy. Don't rush into a relationship until your relationship with God is stable. Because relationships are like mirrors.
They only magnify what you have. If you have had past wounds, you will use the current relationship to try to medicate the pain. It will be like a band-aid. It won't bring healing to you.
It will only make the infection worse. So think of like you're going into a sea that has a potential sharks. If you're bleeding, you attract sharks.
If you're going into a relationship, you will attract predators, people who will take advantage of you if you bleed low self-esteem. Now as Christians our self-esteem comes from Jesus. It comes from the fact that we were created in the image and likeness of God and it comes from the fact that we are sinners but through the grace of Jesus Christ we've been redeemed, made new.
We're new creation. We're indwelled by the Holy Spirit and in followers of Jesus we actually deny ourself. And in denying ourself, we find ourself.
Not as selfish, you know, this high self-esteem person, but in finding our new self, we find our identity. We find Jesus'identity in us. You know, personally, someone who struggled with self-esteem, I can testify of that. That low self-esteem and people who walk around with pride, they're both deceived.
And both are un... the devil's target. God doesn't want you to have a low self-esteem and He doesn't want you to have pride.
He wants you to know who you are in Him and out of that you will walk your life. When you have healthy self-image, you know who you are, you're more likely to spot people and distinguish between love and lust. You're more likely not to be drawn into relationships for the sake of healing of yourself Being whole and all of that Because the moment you are healthy You don't need to make that person into some kind of a doctor for you who will heal you and make you whole because God makes you whole.
And you go into a relationship for happiness, for love, for shared values, great future, but it's not for healing. You have a healer. His name is Jesus. You're not going in there so that they can make you whole. They can't make you whole.
Jesus makes you whole. And that takes the pressure and the weight off of relationship and actually protects you from being easily deceived. The third thing I want to highlight is how the enemy takes advantage of people by sending wrong people into their life is when they ignore obvious red flags that put them on the way to distraction.
See a lot of times what God does is He puts road signs on our relationships and you have to pay attention to the red flags early. A big red flag is if the person you are with does not share your faith or if you're already praying for them to change and you're not even married yet. Now and I'm not talking about minor things.
I'm talking about some pretty heavy things. Addictions and traumas and abuse that they are giving to you and how they're treating you is like really really bad. But of course they keep feeling sorry and they keep saying they will change. It's just that change is not happening. So you're ignoring these red flags.
You're actually already on the highway of destruction. And the enemy has already sent a wrong person into your life. And you are treating this romance as a rehab. Because you really, really love people.
Maybe even perhaps struggle with the savior syndrome. And so you kind of want to save them. You want to change them and everything. But that needs to happen in a community of... brothers with brothers, sisters with sisters, in the church, in the rehab center and other treatment centers, deliverance, not in relationship, dating relationship or a romantic relationship.
Now this is not to say that marriages cannot go through those things but you're not married. You don't need to choose that. Let God work on that person and bring that person that He has been working on.
Learn to say no to relationships that you don't have peace about. Learn to pay attention to signs. You know, if you have no peace in here, don't rush.
Because peace is the way God will protect you. Pay attention to your tension. And so, if you do not pay attention to your tension, Satan will bring wrong relationships into your life.
You will actually attract them into your life. The fourth thing I want to highlight that attracts wrong relationships from the devil is when you lose your standard. to be with the person.
That is the sign you're attracting a wrong person. And it's a sign this person is from hell. You have to set up healthy boundaries. Define what you stand for and what your core values are. The person that God will send you will uphold those values, not break them.
For example, one of the biggest values that you have to treasure and prioritize is purity, especially sexual purity. If the person... you're interested in, does not care about the boundaries of postponing sex until marriage and they want to break that boundary as soon as possible, shame you for having those boundaries and will manipulate you and say that unless you have sex with me we will never be married. You can be certain you don't even need to pray about this.
That person is sent from the devil. Return him back where they came from because they're not valuing you. They don't care about you and they do not care about God. Number five, how do you attract the wrong people in your life? Satan can trick you if you do not listen to anyone except those who agree with you.
As Christians we lean into the wise counsel because there is safety in that. We all have blind spots and we must be humble enough to listen to the wisdom of others God sends into our life. When you become deaf to the wisdom of people that deeply genuinely care for you. I'm not talking about some control person or self-righteous religious person who wants to rule and control your life because they can't control their own self. I'm talking about godly, mature, caring, humble people who come in your life and who speak into your life.
If you go deaf to the voice of other Christians in your life who speak wisdom you can be tricked easily. And there is nobody that will ever be able to stop you. Why?
Because you will get drunk with your own infatuation. You will convince yourself and be self-deceived. by what you see about this person, what you feel about this person. But feelings, they will change.
What you see about them, once you get to know them, your seeing will change. Everything that these people were telling you, that you said, that's not true, that's not true, you will find out all of that is true and even more. And you will be deeply disappointed. There's a way to avoid that.
Have a humble heart to recognize that feelings and infatuations do cloud our thinking. And we need some cool-headed people in our life who can speak some common sense and cover our blind spots so that we don't end up making mistakes that we regret. The sixth thing that people do when they attract wrong relationships is when they throw themselves in a relationship and they lose themselves in that relationship.
Losing yourself while pursuing someone is a sign. of wrong relationships. It's true we must deny ourselves to follow Christ. But Jesus makes us into new people. One of the dangerous signs that the enemy has sent someone into your life is if you lost yourself in that relationship.
The other person is supposed to compliment who you are not cancel who you are. As Christians, when a man and a woman become one through marriage they don't necessarily stop being individuals. I have had the front row of seeing people lose their family, their friends, their ministry, everything and their whole life becomes absorbed in this person.
They stop school, they stop everything, only everything is about this person and they lose themselves. And find out later that not only this never goes anywhere but they regret looking back and say, what was I thinking? Because real relationship from God compliments you.
What did God say to Adam? I'm going to send you a wife that's compatible. He's not going to send you a wife that cancels you. He doesn't send you a husband to cancel you, but to compliment you.
That's why a man and a woman together make a baby. Together they have intimacy. We don't cancel each other. We compliment each other.
So when the relationship comes in and you got... canceled, you lost yourself, that person is pretending to be Jesus. But they are not. There's only one Jesus for whom we deny ourselves.
It is the Lord Jesus Christ. And the only reason He asked us for that is because He wants to take ourself and give us Himself. Thus, we become new creation and we find ourselves in Him. We don't stop existing. We become the truest and the best version of ourselves redeemed by Him.
So these are the signs that you have a wrong relationship and these are some of the signs how to stop attracting these wrong relationships. Know who you are and do not lose yourself. Also pay attention to the voices in your life that speak wisdom and that speak God's truth. Also have standards and don't violate those standards especially standards of purity. Pay attention to red flags early in the relationship.
Pay attention to peace. As well as develop healthy self-image. Know who you are in Jesus as an individual.
Outside of who likes you, who doesn't like you. You don't need that person to know who you are. You need Jesus to know who you are. And never be desperate for a relationship.
Because desperation, impatience, being impulsive blurs your discernment and the enemy takes advantage of that. Don't let satan distract you. Let God lead you, bless you and fulfill the desires of your heart as you delight yourself in Him.
If you are a single person, you're single and you're ready to mingle, I do want to do a little shameless plug. I do have a book for you that I've written called Single Ready to Mingle. Check it out, I believe it's going to be a great blessing. I've been a youth pastor for 14 years.
And so there's a lot of things the Lord showed me, as well as, you know, I went through dating myself, got married. And there's some valuable principles and lessons you can learn from my journey and my teachings that I believe will really help you to go even further in your godliness and sanctification as a young person. God bless you.
Until next time.