Lecture Notes: How to Talk to Anyone - 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

Introduction

• Two types of people:
  • Those who walk into a room and say, "Well, here I am."
  • Those who walk into a room and say, "Ah, there you are."
• Key Concept: Skillful ways of dealing with people can lead to success.
• Successful people: Capture hearts and minds, often perceived as having a "bag of tricks"
• Importance of communication: 92 tricks to help you succeed in social and professional settings.

Part 1: How to Intrigue Everyone Without Saying a Word

The Importance of First Impressions

• Bob Grossman: Caricature artist who captures essence through appearance and movement.
• First impressions: Formed instantly and can be lasting.
• Body language: Communicates more than words.
• Technique 1: The Flooding Smile
  • Smile slowly and let it flood over your face.

Eye Contact

• Power of eye contact: Can convey intelligence, confidence, and interest.
• Technique 2: Sticky Eyes
  • Maintain eye contact even after the other person has finished speaking.

Advanced Eye Contact (Epoxy Eyes)

• Technique 3: Epoxy Eyes
  • Maintain eye contact with the listener even when someone else is speaking.

Posture and Movement

• Good posture: Signals confidence and success.
• Visualization technique: Imagine a circus iron-jaw bit hanging from the doorframe.
• Technique 4: Hang by Your Teeth
  • Visualize hanging by your teeth for perfect posture.

Part 2: How to Know What to Say After You Say Hi

The Role of Small Talk

• Small talk: Essential for building rapport but often dreaded.
• Technique 10: Make a Mood Match
  • Match the listener's mood and tone.

Starting a Conversation

• Prosaic with Passion: Anything you say is fine as long as it's said with passion.
• Technique 11: Prosaic with Passion
  • Use common words delivered with enthusiasm.
• Technique 12: Always Wear a Whatsit
  • Use an unusual item to spark conversation.

Keeping the Conversation Going

• Parroting: Repeat the last few words your partner said to keep the conversation flowing.
• Technique 20: Parroting
  • Repeat the last few words your conversation partner says.
• Technique 21: Encore
  • Ask someone to retell a story they mentioned earlier.

Resuscitating a Dying Conversation

• Be a Word Detective: Listen for clues about what the other person enjoys discussing.
• Technique 18: Be a Word Detective
  • Listen for clues and spring on the subject that excites the other person.

Part 3: How to Talk Like a VIP

Avoiding Clichés

• Technique 30: Don’t Touch a Cliché with a 10-Foot Pole
  • Avoid using clichés to sound more original and intelligent.

Bantering Like the Big Shots

• Technique 32: Call a Spade a Spade
  • Use straightforward language and avoid euphemisms.
• Technique 33: Trash the Teasing
  • Avoid making jokes at someone else's expense.

Giving Bad News

• Technique 34: It’s the Receiver’s Ball
  • Deliver bad news with the appropriate emotion for the receiver.

Part 4: How to Be an Insider in Any Crowd

Sounding Knowledgeable About Their Job or Hobby

• Technique 39: Learn a Little Jobbledygook
  • Learn a few key phrases or questions to sound knowledgeable.

Using Their Hot Buttons

• Technique 40: Bearing Their Hot Button
  • Find out the current hot issues in their field and discuss them.

Part 5: How to Sound Like You’re Peas in a Pod

Echoing

• Technique 45: Echoing
  • Use your conversation partner’s exact words to build rapport.

Summary

• These techniques are designed to make you come across as a confident, credible, and charismatic person, making everyone feel special and valued.