Transcript for:
How to Make a Man Chase You Like a Drug Addict

how to force a man to chase you like a drug addict number one we're going to have the first High let's imagine meeting a guy and we're going to take you through all the steps that you're going to take in order to get him to chase you like a drug addict so let's imagine you meet him and let's say he just sees you at an event he sees you at the event he thinks you're cool he asks you out on a dinner date cool all good because we don't want to meet guys on dating apps that's bad this is very important to set the precedent for the rest of the relationship in this scenario let's imagine and he's setting up this dinner date you want to make sure that the first high is the best high and what I mean by that is you want to make sure that when he finally meets you in person he's get has the best experience with you that he possibly can have because that first experience is going to set the groundwork for everything you're going to be building off of so let's imagine you go out on this first dinner date you need to bring a particular mindset to that dinner date you're going to bring some nice fun flirty energy and you're also going to bring the mindset and the mind frame that you are most interested in him and getting to know him and you're excited about that because what you're trying to do in this first high in this first meeting is you're trying to enchant him okay the way that you cast a spell on this guy is by making sure that you bring that excitement and that energy to the date that he then in turn mirrors that excitement and energy and while he's mirroring that excitement and energy now you can extract from him everything that you want in the relationship on these dates let's imagine you're on this date right you're bringing front flirty energy that doesn't mean you're agreeing with everything that he says actually I would advise you to not agree with everything that he says bring your own opinions in perspective to the table okay maybe you want to challenge him a little bit be interesting and make it fun you don't have to challenge him in a way that's mean or degrading or disrespectful but you can bring fun FLIR fun flirty energy can also be challenging it doesn't mean you just got to sit there and be boring okay you can bring energy and excitement to that first High you want him to feel things and I'm going to say this multiple times as we have this discussion you want him to associate you with feelings and emotions strong feelings and emotions this is how you turn him into a drug addict if he does not feel strong feelings and emotions when he thinks of you or when he's around you this will not work how it's supposed to work he's not going to be chasing you around at all whatsoever because him feeling those strong feelings and emotions towards you and of the relationship situation ship talking stage whatever you want to call it is what's going to make him come back to you over and over again and want more and more and more I know for those of you in the UK I don't know if you guys call it banter maybe you guys say chat I don't know how you guys say cuz when I be watching Love Island sometimes they describe it a little bit different but banter is the idea is just the back and forth that goes on when two individuals are having a conversation that's fun and flirty and exciting where you might challenge me on some things you might te me make fun of me a little bit right and it's fun it's not disrespectful it's not rude right we're both having fun but we both poke a little bit of of uh of fun at each other and it's and it's exciting that that that's cool it's it's enjoyable right that's part of the experience you want him to feel things here's the mistake that a lot of you are making especially on this first High the mistake a lot of you are making is that you're so worried that oh oh my God I want him to like me so badly that I'm not going to disagree with anything that he says I'm not going to challenge anything that he says I'm not going to make fun of him or poke fun at anything that he says I'm just going to be here I'm going to speak when spoken to I'm going to say yes and no yes as many times I possibly can I'm going to say no as many time as say no as little as I have to hoping that as if I'm more agreeable he'll like me more when in reality all he's going to feel is indifference towards you and we'll get to indifference in a little bit because indifference is a very big part of what you're not trying to do you do not want him to feel indifference towards you when you guys are having conversation or when you guys are on these dates especially in person you do not want him to feel indifference if he begins feeling indifference he's not going to be chasing you he's not going to be obsessed with you you're not going to be his drug I can guarantee you that you don't become memorable to a guy if he doesn't feel anything towards you that's why I always tell you guys if a guy starts describing you as chill oh I like you because you're so chill oh I like her cuz she's so chill you're just such a chill person to be around it's just so chill when we hang out oh you not doing this right because nobody who is obsessed with someone nobody who is drunk in love nobody who feels like you're their drug would describe the the feeling they get when they hang out with you as chill the people telling you that it's chill when you're around and they like you because of how chill you are are really describing indifference and they're describing the fact that they don't feel any particular way about you or towards you when you guys do spend time together and so the indifference just makes them feel chill which really means it makes them feel nothing they're not happy they're not sad they're not anything they're just indifferent to the experience okay it's very important that you are very strategic with that first high if you're not strategic with that first high that first hit that he gets of you that first experience he gets of you you're not going to be able to do the rest of the things that need to be done because that first high is what's going to keep him wanting more and coming back that you can then start manipulating the situation even more to your advantage okay as you're having him experience this first highe you want to make sure majority of all that he gets to know about you happens in person on this date or on the like either on the first date or on the first couple of dates right either way it has to happen in person you do not give him the opportunity to get to know you anything about you over text because you want to make sure that first High hits him hot and heavy it's like a wash over him you don't want to give him any lowquality dose messages of you that he can then come to the conclusion that oh she's cool or oh she's like the other girls I met or oh she's very similar to another girl I now you don't want him to associate any of the feelings or thoughts or experiences he's had with other girls to you you want to be a completely unique experience that he feels like he hasn't got to experience enough which is why you give him that first tie but even leaning up to that first tie and in between that and even directly after that you do not want to allow him to experience you in any capacity outside of that really high quality first High okay so for when I say first High I just mean that first date because that first date is going to be his real heavy dosage of one-on-one time with you where he can actually get an understanding of your personality what you're like how you speak how you talk how you react how you respond your banter how he feels about you you know how you guys get along all of that good stuff you want that all to hit him like a wave right at the beginning so remember what I talked about right indifference is bad indifference is Chill indifference is the horrible for you you want to get him obsessed you want to be like a drug that he'll be addicted to so that first high that first feeling that first experience has to hit him like a wave so he's got to get get all of the feels all of the experience all of the understanding oh now I see that we baned ear really go now I see that you're so much fun now I see you're so adventurous now I see you're so exciting and bubbly and we and we laugh and we Giggle and we make jokes all of that has to be one experience with you that way it's as impactful as it can possibly be a lot of you are making the mistake of texting these guys even before the first date or leading up to the first date or even before he's planned the first date with you that he kind of feels like he's getting to know you he kind of feels like he's understanding you he kind of feels like he's getting a sense of your personality and how you guys get along and so what happens is he becomes satisfied with that those very low dosages low quality versions of you and he doesn't he's not as inspired or motivated to be like nah I got to take her out on a date or no I got to meet her in person or not you know I I want to um make sure I get the chance to ask her out on a date so that we can go out night can experience her that's the mistake that a lot of you guys are making that's why it's so important when you're leading up to that first High you do not allow him the opportunity to get to know you at all aside from that first high and even when you come out on that first high that first date you want to make sure you're in the right mind frame so that means you're going to have to actively do things for yourself that put you in a good mood that when you show up on that date you're able to bring the right energy and project that outwardly because he's going to absorb that energy that you're projecting outwardly and then he's going to walk away from that first tie from that first date feeling exactly how what he absorbed from you so if you're bubbly if you're excited if you're fun if you're flirty he's going to walk away from that date remembering you as fun flirty exciting and bubbly and full of life he's also going to feel in himself you're going to bring out of him because he's absorbing that from you his fun flirty bubbly exciting self so he's going to associate the thoughts and the feelings of being fun adventurous being interested being stimulated he's going to associate all of those feelings and emotions toward towards you so if you go on that first date and you're in a horrible mood probably you probably want to cancel the date cuz none of this is going to work properly when you show up on that first date and the energy he's absorbing from you is wo she's miserable wo she's got a tough life wo she's just got so much going on wao she doesn't even seem like she's emotionally ready to be in a Rel he all he's going to be able to think back to when he thinks about you and thinks of his first high with you damn that was a horrible High I actually I remember just being so discombobulated I remember just feeling horrible the next day I remember like the whole thing was a terrible experience if you've ever taken a drug hopefully you haven't but if you've ever taken a drug you know that that first high is likely going to determine a lot of whether or not you experience a second High cuz if your first high was horrible you're going to have to be convinced that your second high is supposed to be better but if your first high is amazing nobody has to convince you to take a second one because it's just that much easier After experiencing it and having all of those good memories and emotions after your first High which is why you want to be very careful how you present yourself and the energy you bring to the date if you're in a horrible mood let's say you had a bad hair day you had a bad everything day you will probably want to cancel that date because if you show up on that date and that first time that first experience of you and you're in a horrible mood and you're miserable he's going to think to himself I feel horrible and miserable when I'm around her it's also important that while you're on this first date while you're having him experience this first High you do not focus on talking or sharing too much about yourself now obviously there's a balance that doesn't mean that you shouldn't say anything that doesn't mean that anytime uh he asks you a question you be so short and so uh dry with it that he's like whoa what's your problem you upset or anything like that no that's not what that means what that means is when you come to the date with this fun flirty bubbly energy and interested energy you want to actually this is if you have to think of it like this think of it like this you want to in your mind you're playing a game that the more you get to know of him and about him the more points you get in the piggy bank or whatever however you want to think of it right so you want to be as interested in learning about him as you possibly can and when I say interested I literally mean like you ask him a question then you ask him a follow-up question the next question and even while he's answering the questions it's like everything he's saying you're like you're like hooked on the story everything he's saying you're like oh my God this is the you're telling me the best story ever I can't believe your life is like even if he's telling you the most mundane boring stuff just be like wow that's so exciting I've never met someone like that or I've never I've never met someone that does that or I didn't even know that's so cool that you do that and that's so and you just feeding his ego and allowing him to feel like wow she's so interested in me wow she cares about me so much wow I'm she she thinks I'm so awesome and so amazing right because what's going to happen he's going to walk away from that date with those positive emotions that oh my God I feel so good when I'm with her oh my God God I have so much fun when I'm with her oh my God I just share so much and I talk about so much and I feel so open I feel like I can share anything with her all of those emotions and thoughts will be rolling through his mind as his experience of the first High he's ever had with you and so when he thinks back to you he's going to be thinking wow that was such a good first High I've got to get that again so it's very important that when you show up on this date you don't spend all you don't come to this date miserable just ready to spill your guts about oh I had this horrible day and this happened to me and that happened to me and this happened and that happened and then he kind of walks away from the date kind of like she's kind of boring she just sat there talked about herself she didn't really care anything about me wasn't really interesting anything she was saying she just kind of went on a rant and she took my money um you know cuz I paid for the date and I didn't get anything from her that was just a horrible experience you don't want that you want him to be focused on I'm sharing I'm talking I'm having fun this is interesting I'm stimul ated we have banter we're going back and forth everything is positive strong positive emotions e just strong emotions in general you do not want him to have indifference towards you number two sober again you guys go on that first date you want him to return back to normal you want him to get sober again that first highe was amazing that first experience with you was awesome but now it's time to go back back to reality which is good if you're going to get him to chase you like a drug addict you want him to at a certain point return back to reality after this first High you don't want him to be in a cycle of right after he gets to see you right after he spends some time with you that he then is able to continue seeing you because that first highe is great that first highe is awesome but you don't want him to get used to you being around all of a sudden you want him to actually have to go back to his life and think to himself wow that was such a great experience that I had with her I felt so good I had so much fun it was so enjoyable you want him to get his wheel spinning that he wants to experience that high again so it's very important after you go out on that first date you let him go back to normal that means you don't call him you don't text him okay you don't FaceTime him and even if he does try to call you and text you and FaceTime you a bunch right after the date you keep your distance now obviously have a balance if he calls you and texts you three four five times in a row answer one of them don't try and have a huge conversation with him but answer it just so he doesn't think you've ghosted him so he doesn't think you blocked him so he doesn't think that you're uninterested in him okay you don't you want to be balancing what's going on because you don't want him to think that you're uninterested in the date or you used him you want him to feel like you actually really enjoyed the date you just also want him to feel like you have other things going on in your life so even though you enjoy the date it's not like you're going to be texting him and calling him and speaking to him 24/7 because your life is still going on even though you she had or sorry even though you had a great time with her with him so it's very important that as you're allowing him to become sober again you don't entertain any casual conversation or attempt for him to get to know you over the phone I want you guys to be paying attention to this because what a lot of guys will do is they'll take you out for that first day even if they have that good first High they'll be so high on it and they'll want to be around you and speak to you so much they'll begin texting you like a maniac they'll start calling you like a maniac they'll even maybe FaceTime you like a maniac for some of you right and the thing is if you like the date if you enjoy the date so what do you do back you're giving him back the same energy but what you need to be doing is keeping your distance that he can stay on the thought of that first high that he his mind can continue being on the fact that he wants to experience you more and again this is why a lot of you get caught in a situation where you may go on one date with the guy and then all of a sudden you get into this trap of just constantly texting and calling but but he never actually makes plans for the second day or the next couple of dates especially after that first really good experience they're obviously going to want to experience you more they're obviously going to want to see you more they're going to want to speak to you more guys also get caught into the cycle of being on the phone and feeling like they're experiencing you through the phone that by texting you and even calling you calling is good but calling is a supplement for the real thing which is in person as but texting especially right even the guys get caught in that Loop of oh I'm seeing her I'm hearing for her from her if I'm texting her a bunch so after that first hi that they get they're like oh my God I want more I want more so what am I going to do I'm going to text her and he texts you a lot and you text him a lot back but what does that also do that satisfies the feeling of him being like oh now I have to return back to normal now I have to be sober again I have to experience what my life was like before her without her but now that you're back in texting form in low quality form he feels like he's getting just the smallest dosage of you again the problem is if he's getting just the smallest dosage of you it's just enough to kill his desire uh to wanting to get another big high you understand what I'm saying are you following along with the the analogy here because you're giving him just enough that it feels like um I don't need the big high I'm I'm good for the next couple of days I'm good until next week and it just continues down that cycle where you're just giving him just the smallest dosage of you just enough that he feels like he's getting to know you or experiencing you that he's not quite motivated enough to say hey I want to take her out on a second date hey I got to see her again hey I got to spend time with her again I got to be around her again you want him to return to being sober again that he can actually be able to contrast what it felt like to be in a relationship not be in a relationship to be on a date with you and experience you and be around you versus what his life is like when he's not with you and he's not around you and he's not on a date with you you actually want him to be able to experience that contrast that he can say to himself oh I actually want to be around her again oh I actually want to spend time with her again oh I actually need her around some more very important that you give him an opportunity to to return to his life as it previously was without you which means you can't be texting a whole bunch you can't be calling him a whole bunch and if he is calling and texting you a whole bunch you keep your distance now very important as you're keeping your distance you don't want to make the mistake of making it too much distance you don't want to you don't want him to be confused that you don't that you don't like him or you're not interested in him or you're ghosting him or you're just you just used him for a dinner day and you had no intention of building a relationship in the process of you being distant you make it difficult for him to contact you during this time that way he can wonder about you think about you and you can begin growing that cycle of the obsession right because he'll be going back and forth in his mind but you also don't want it to be too much distance that you never text him you never answer any of his calls you never uh call him back you never do anything back for him and or show interest sorry I should say back to him that he thinks you're actually uninterested in him it's a balance very delicate balance and as as you practice this you'll be able to feel the balance going on okay allow him to double text you that's fine but that doesn't mean you never answer any of his texts when he double text you and then he calls you three times and then he tries to FaceTime you okay it's a balance in between that where he can feel like you still are interested in him you still want to talk to him you still want to maybe go out on a second date if he asks you out on the second date but not so much that you're dying for it not so much that he's the only thing that's going on in your life have you I want to ask you guys for those of you who have been in a situation where you've been with someone that felt like a drug to you was part of the experience the fact that when you weren't together or even at periods and times in your relationship or situationship whatever it may be that you question to yourself does this person really like me or is this person not very interested in me if you do the job of enchanting him on that date giving him that first ey and it's really it's a really great experience what's going to happen after is when you become distant he's going to start playing in his mind like we just said is she really interested in me does she not like me did I do something wrong on the date did I say something wrong on the date did she just use me to go out on the date and have fun was she really been having fun or what was I doing too much talking and all of that process of him going back and forth in his mind of does she like me or does she not that become that starts the cycle of the addiction right because now he spending all his time going back and forth in his own mind about you which is good is what you want right that's how you inspire that chase and that drug addiction kind of feeling because he starts saying to himself he starts replaying every single detail in his mind about the date imagine that you go out on one date with the guy and now he's replaying in his mind okay but when we when we got the first we got the appetizer and I made this joke and she kind of made a face but okay but she made that face I thought she thought it was funny but okay I think she maybe she didn't think that joke was funny do you maybe she was offended oh you're an idiot bro why would you say that oh you're so dumb that was so stupid and then I talked about my last relationship now she probably thinks I'm an idiot and you see like it just they just they spiral just like this they spiral they're just going the same way you've probably experienced they just begin spiraling especially when they enjoyed that experience with you there's nothing more painful as a human being than than spending some time with another human being liking the time you're spending with them feeling good about the uh situation right or the date or whatever ever it may be and then walking away from it realizing that that person didn't even like you and the whole time you're like damn I thought we were getting along so well that confusion is very painful right and that realization that you like someone that actually didn't like anything about your Vibe is very painful and it can cause you to kind of spiral and just say to yourself oh man why did I do that why did I say that how come I didn't realize how stupid I sounded how come I didn't realize what I was actually saying how come I didn't realize that they weren't even really interested in me and that that spiral in the process of you being just distant enough that he has to return to being sober again he's going to start spiraling thinking damn that was such a good first timee but I don't know maybe she doesn't like me I don't know maybe she's not into me I don't know maybe I was just being too weird or I was talking too much or she's just probably just faking her interest in me and she's probably just trying to be nice now and she doesn't actually like me and they just they just go and they just go and they just go and they can't stop thinking about it now they're like in their in their daytime they're just replaying every every single instant of the date and every single in every single facial expression you made every single Nuance the way you picked up your fork everything about you to try to analyze is how I feel the correct way that she feels or is everything I feel a lie or am I confused all of that good stuff and that is good for you number three missing the high as he begins to think about you more and contrast how good he felt with his normal life his boring life his sober life he will begin to chase the feeling he had with you and want to see you again so that he can get that feeling back you have to make him work for that feeling this is why I say it's so important that he doesn't feel indifference towards you he feels very strong emotions towards you if he feels indifference towards you you're going to be in a very bad place because if he feels indifference towards you he's just chill about everything there's no emotions or feelings to chase after because you are an individual you are a person but you also have to understand you are also an experience that's the same reason why multiple different people can describe you in multiple different ways because they're not just experiencing you as an individual they're experiencing you as an experience in its entirety so where someone meets you also factors into their experience of you how someone me to factors into their experience of you the situations or things that happen or events that happen in the process of going out on a date with you or being around you factor into their experience of you this is why someone could meet you in one setting and have one particular experience of you and someone could meet you in a totally different setting and have a completely different experience and understanding of you there's probably a guy out there that may have met you in a club maybe one night when you were super just out of it and dancing and doing crazy and acting crazy and he might have a particular experience with you and then there might also be another guy who met you at Home Depot and thinks you're the the finest best thing since sliced bread and you're such an amazing stay-at-home wifey who takes care of you know your loved ones or your a cat or your dog whatever because you are an individual but you are also an experience and the things that are happening around someone when in the process of experiencing you will drastically change how they feel about you because when they they think back to the thought of you they're also going to be thinking back to the experiences they had when they were with you which is why you have to be very calculated with the experience someone has on that first high with you because you want them to miss the high because you want them to miss the experience of being around you not just you the experience of being with you and you want to make him work for that feeling because now you're in a situation where he's had a good first High where he's had a good first experience and that was enjoyable for him now he knows what it feels like to be sober again and he can contrast that with his real life with his regular life and now when he wants to get the second high right go on the second date because he knows without the second date he's not going to be able to experience you over text he's not going to be able to call you a bunch simply because you're busy and you have lots of other things to do he's going to realize okay if I want this second High I'm actually going to have to put work towards it this is where you guys need to actually really pay attention Okay I want you guys paying very close attention to this because this is super important you are going to be balancing the fact that he wants to go on another date with him you don't want to make it so easy to go on a second date with you that he doesn't feel like it took any work now I know this is confusing to a lot of you because you're like well if he asked me out on a second date why don't I just say yes if I'm free free the next day why don't I just say yes if I'm free that same day why don't I just say I mean he's asking me out on a day isn't that the whole point of this he's asking me out on a day yes that's the point no that's not the way you want to go about it if you want him to experience you like a drug you want to know why because missing the high is not enough we're going to talk about anticipation right after this they're kind they're all uh combined um with each other but it's very important that in the process of him missing the high he feels like in order to get the next high there actually has to be real effort put in that anticipation can actually be built so it's not just about missing the high and then the same moment that he misses the high is the same moment that he gets the second High he's got to miss the high but also feel like damn as much as I miss the high I still have to wait for my next high so you don't want to allow him to just say oh free tomorrow okay yeah we we'll do tomorrow because you're free every day so you never have a schedule okay this is why I always tell you guys it's very important to figure out what your passions and hobbies and things you enjoy doing are that you'll actually have a schedule and things to do where a guy can't just be like are you free tomorrow are you free right now are you free in an hour and you're actually just like yeah I'm actually just sitting on my couch doing nothing so if you want to take me out on a date that would literally be the best thing ever because I literally have nothing better to do with my life you actually want to have things going on in your life that when a guy is trying to plan a second date with you you are genuinely not free to just hang out the next day I know this is going to sound crazy I know this is going to sound weird I would advise you to not say yes to the first date that he asks you on so for example if he ask you on a second date he's like okay are you free let's say today is uh Tuesday and he's like hey uh I want to go on a second date are you free on tomorrow on Wednesday at 600 p.m. and I want you to actually say no to that okay I want you to say no I want you to say that you're busy you're doing something even if you're not busy I want you to say you're doing something okay then when he asks you okay when are you free or when can you go on in a day or when can we go out together I truthfully truth this is going to sound really weird I want you to push the next date or the next available day that you have at the very least let it be a week later so if he asks you oh um today's Tuesday do you want to go out on a date tomorrow you say no to that then when he says okay when are you free next when can we hang out when can we go on this state I really want to take you out on the state you make it the next Tuesday at the very least at the very least doesn't have to be exactly like that but make it the next week at the very least now you might be like but but he's going to be uninterested in me but but but but he won't like me anymore but but but but but he's going to get bored in the time of the week and this and that he won't he won't care to to go out on the date and the weekend no hold your water take a chill pill you're trying to inspire a drug addict okay you want him to be anticipating we'll get to anticipation in a bit you want him to be anticipating when he's going to see you you want him to spend actual time missing the high you actually want him to feel Agony that he doesn't get access to you because when he find does get access to you it's going to make even the smallest mundane things seem so much bigger for those of you who have ever been in a long-distance relationship or been in a relationship where you couldn't see that person all the time it's exactly that same experience you're not doing anything particularly special when you finally do see the person or hang out with the person but each hangout or date or time spent together feels so much bigger because they come so much uh less frequently and so each time you see them it holds way more importance now imagine if you did that in combination with them not getting access to you over the phone where they can text you all the time and get validation right because the guys get validation too when they realize that you that you're starting to like them that they're taking you out on these dates and you're into them and you're super eager to go out on the next date and and like you you know you want to spend all your days with them and 24 hours with them and you want to sleep over that's validation for the guys as well so if he's going in back and forth in his mind that oh my God I'm not sure if she likes me oh my God I'm not sure if she's interested in me oh my God she's so much she's so busy she doesn't even have time for me that's good but if he gets to the point where he feels like he doesn't have to miss the high because oh if I want to hang out with her I could hang out with her any day she's free every day any day that I want to spend with her she'll be free anytime that I text her and say I want to go out on the second date perfectly fine we could go out on the second date you know the next day doesn't even matter what time she'll be free anytime she'll even if she's not free she'll move her schedule for me when he feels like that that's also validation and then what does he feel he feels indifference towards you okay because he doesn't have to think about anything he doesn't have to plan anything because when you he wants you or when he wants you to be available to him you will be available to him so he doesn't miss the high there's no Agony associated with you remember I told you you want him to associate with you strong emotions not just positive emotions like joy and happiness you want him to associate with you strong emotions in general because that's what's actually going to create that drug addiction it's not just about the highs it's also about the lows I know this sounds super deep and super manipulative and super like Psy psychology you know tricks but it's real okay it's not just about feeling good and happiness and excitement and joy and all the positive stuff it's also about feeling Agony and sadness and pain when he's not with you that's also good as shocking as that sounds so once he's asked you on multiple dat dates you don't say yes to the first date okay you don't make it that easy and when he asks you when you're next free you allow the next time you're free to at the very least be sometime next week that he actually has to sit back and anticipate you for 7 Days that's a perfect segue into our next one which is anticipation as he begins to anticipate this next date because remember you just said no to the first date and when he said when are you free to reschedule he you said okay next Tuesday so as he begins to anticipate the the next week that he's going to see you in this time period this is very important make sure you're listening in this time period guys are going to attempt to receive some validation pay very close attention this is very important as this is happening guys will usually try to reach out to you so let's say you've planned this date and now it's set for next Tuesday what guy are going to try to do is they're going to try to reach out to you and get to know you and have conversation with you leading up to this second date you want to know why because they want the validation that you're ongoing continuously interested in them enough that you're actually excited to go out on the second date you do not respond to his attempts to get to know you over the phone do not validate him leading up to this second High to this second date because he'll be seeking that validation from you to ease his own anxiety that oh my God like she's so busy she said no to the first me asking her to go on the the second date the first time and now it's going to be a week until I see her oh my God she's so busy what is she doing is she working a whole bunch is she like hanging out with friends she must have so much friends she must have so much to do are other guys taking her out on dates is that why she doesn't have any time for me are other guys doing stuff with her like what's going on why why why do I have to wait a week until the next time that I see her all of this is building that anticipation right and and also building that anxiety and so he's going to attempt to get rid of his and ease his anxiety by getting validation from you in that way to know that oh you're you're ready to go out on the date yeah you want to talk to him yeah you want to see him yeah you want to this and that and so he's going to try to hold conversation leading up to that second High leading up to that second day it's very important that you give him no validation now as you give him no validation you're busy you're doing things you can't be sitting around on the phone answering a whole bunch of calls and text and and being on FaceTime till 4:00 a.m. you got other stuff to do his anxiety is going to be building also his anticipation is going to be building for the next time he sees you you still want to balance that out with the times that you do speak to him right cuz you're not going to never speak to him that he thinks you're uninterested the times that you do speak to him you want to make sure you sprinkle in I'm so excited for this next date I'm so excited to see you in person in person in person in person I only want you this is very important okay listen to this very closely I only want you to express your excitement with seeing him in person listen to what I just said I only want you to express your excitement with seeing him in person because as a man he will begin to associate the times where you're the happiest is when you're spending time with him in person and so as he begins the process of seeking and chasing after your approval because he wants you and because he likes you he's going to begin saying to himself if I want her to be happiest with me I need to see her her in person more not text her more not call her more not FaceTime her more I need to see her in person more because she's expressing to me that she's most excited when we go out on these dates that she's most excited when we spend time together oneon-one in person and remember you've put him in an anxious State of Mind where he's thinking to himself what does she want what does she need does she like me is she interested in me is she happy with me is she unhappy with me am I doing the right thing am I saying the right thing that anxious State of Mind is what's going to push him to be like as soon as you give him the smallest hint that there's something you enjoy that there's something you like he's going to be like I got to do I got to do 100 of that because I've been wondering this whole time if she likes me if she's interested in me now I know she loves it when we spend time together in person that's exactly what I got to be doing the most and you might be like is this really happening trust me it's really happening on a subconscious level that even the guys can't realize because he's going to be trying to ease his own anxiety as he's trying to ease his own anxiety and confirm to himself that you like him that you find him interesting that you like the experience of being around him the moment you say I do like the experience of spending time with you and seeing you and talking to you but I enjoy it the most when where in person everything he's focused on is going to be in person now and what's going to happen is he's going to shift from thinking oh does she like me does she not maybe she's not texting me because she doesn't like me he's going to think oh no she just doesn't text me because she'd rather us spend time together in person and she's busy she's doing other stuff but she actually still enjoys her time with me and I know I enjoy my time with her so I know I want to see her in person more that's the mistake that a lot of you guys are making like I said you're not building a lot of anticipation why because you're con stantly available on this phone to text all the time texting is literally is the worst crutch that all of you are utilizing to actually self-sabotage your ability to get dates out of these guys because as you text and you text and you text and you text and you text you're literally simultaneously decreasing his desire to actually take you out on a date and see you in person because the guys also feel like as they're texting you so much that they're getting to know you that they're experiencing you that they're seeing you that they're meeting you I know it sounds silly they feel like they're going out on dates with you as they're texting you 24/7 even the guys but what does that do if he feels like he's going out on a date date with you 24/7 why would he actually want to go out on a real date with you in real life that's why it becomes a self-sabotaging addiction and this is the bad type where both of you are in the process of texting and and doing these kind of like text dates where it's like kind of like an ongoing text date all the time then there's no antic there's no anticipation left to be built for the real inperson date okay that's why it's very important sorry for the motorcycles outside my house that's why it's very important to be be distant in the process of him having that um anticipation and feeling that anxiety that he wants to be like oh let's talk let's let's have fun oh my God the second date's going to be so far away I don't want to wait so long I want to feel validated in the process before we get on the second date you don't give him that valid the only thing you do that gives him validation is tell him how excited you are once or twice how excited you are for this next inperson date that's it not how excited you are for him to keep on texting you not how excited you are for him to call you every day or him to stay on FaceTime with you till 4:00 a.m. because you're not trying to build a relationship where he texts you all the time you're not trying to build a relationship where he calls you 24/7 and you're not trying to build a relationship where he facetimes you till 4:00 a.m. okay this is why you have to be very strategic with the way you reward guys and the way you validate them do not validate them for doing the things that you don't want to experience over and over again so if you don't want him to just be content with FaceTiming you and that's your version of Happiness do not congratulate him or make him feel excitement for how happy you are that he'll FaceTime you if you don't want him to be the best try to be the best texter and only focus on trying to make you happy over text don't say how excited you are to text him all the time Focus your time and energy on the in-person hangouts or the dates and express your excitement for those so that that can be his Focus that can be where he spends his time thinking about how to make you happy by taking you out on the next date or taking you out to this interesting place or connecting with you in this way very important that you're building that anticipation in the right way you want to balance your texting and calling distance with the validation that you also enjoyed seeing him and going out on your last date this ensures that you don't feel as sorry this ensures that he doesn't feel as if you're uninterested with him because remember you want him to be spiraling but you also don't want to go too far into the deep end that he gives up and says this isn't worth chasing there's no point here she doesn't even like me she's not even interested in me that's why it's good to sprinkle this in as a reminder of how much you enjoy spending time with him that he will be motivated to spend more in in in person time with you do not congratulate a texaholic do not congratulate or validate the best FaceTime do not even congratulate the best phone caller you only congratulate the person who puts in the most effort into the inperson dates don't be validating him for anything else because in reality you're not trying to build a relationship over text or over calls or over facetimes that's not what you if you want to be married to someone who facetimes you all the time well then do that but if you're trying to be married to someone who you have a great in-person relationship with then you have to be focused on validating the in-person and putting emphasis on the inperson and you have to actively at the same time be putting as little emphasis on the texting and the calling and FaceTiming as possible cuz you're not trying to be in a relationship with the best text or caller or FaceTime the same way you would uh if you were to eat a meal regular just like right when you wake up in the morning versus going to work working out doing a whole bunch of stuff sweating all day running all day do running around doing errands and then you finally eat your first meal at like 9:00 at night and it's the same meal that you regularly eat but now all of a sudden it tastes so much better because you've been doing all this other stuff and you've been anticipating the fact that after you work out so hard and you do this crazy workout and you go to work and you do all this crazy stuff you're finally going to come back and enjoy a huge awesome meal is the same way something that seems regular seems mundane seems like the same thing you've been experiencing feels that much better when you are anticipating it for so long and number five tolerance after a while of seeing each other on multiple days he'll become used to being able to spend time with you this is very important okay throughout the process you must listen to me you must listen you must cut dates and hangouts short to ensure he never leaves you satisfied or builds a tolerance towards you because you don't want him to quickly build up a tolerance of you that he no longer has to build anticipation or has anxiety when you're not around when I say cut these dates short what I mean cuz I know you guys want me to tell you exactly how to do it what I mean is if you're going out on a date that is meant to last 2 hours so you go out on a date and you're supposed to be out on this date from 10: to 12 I know it sounds difficult but I want you to cut that date 30 minutes short so your date's meant to last until 12 at 11:30 I want you to cut the date short that you have to go home and I want it to be non-negotiable like you really have to go home why you want him to leave that date with you leave that experience with you because remember you as an individual is also you as an experience you want him to leave that experience wanting more if you want to get him to chase you like a drug addict if you want if you want him to just feel indifferent towards you and be chill about you that's fine if you want to get him to chase you like a drug addict you want him to feel like he didn't get enough of you after seeing you and he needs more of you okay very very important you do not allow his tolerance to build up by spending a whole bunch of low quality time with him okay very very important because if his tolerance builds up he's going to go from feeling really strongly about you and feeling a whole bunch of emotions towards you to feeling very indifferent about you once that IND indifference settles in you no longer can have Obsession you can't have Obsession where indifference is and you can't have indifference where obsession is okay he's got to feel strong emotions this is why okay this is a very important side note you make yourself uh M said it perfectly just now she said you have to find the balance because it is a balance okay like I said you don't want to go too extreme in any One Direction because any One Direction of two extreme is going to be D is is not going to do the get you the desired result you want to make yourself just available that when he plans and waits long enough he will see you and have a great time with you but you never listen to me you never overstay your welcome never never never overstay your welcome this is like a tip for life but like don't do it in with your relationships especially because as soon as you begin overstaying your welcome that person will grow a tolerance for you and they'll become bored with you so you stop going from an experience that feels really good to see and hear and be around and touch and smell and it's like all of these emotions that come around when you're around and you start just being an everyday mundane part of of life and especially at the beginning when you really want him to be in the chasing addictive State you do not want him to be thinking of you as a mundane chill experience where he doesn't really feel anything towards the experience of being with you I would advise you you want you guys always be like I want your advice I want to know what you think I want to know what you think I would advise you I know this is going to suck I would honestly advise you to avoid sleepover because sleepovers at the very beginning first of all you're putting yourself in a bad position because you're going to be tempted to give away your Squirtle when you're sleeping in bed with a guy that you like okay that's already a bad position for you to be with because you're going to you're definitely not going to he's not going to he's not going to be addicted to you if you give him Squirtle on the first day okay let's just get we we should know that already aside from that what the sleepover also does at the very beginning is it goes from I have to plan a date with you see I I I I spend all this time anticipating you I have to wait a week to finally see you clear my schedule to finally see you I finally get to see you oh my god when I do see you you're all done up you look so beautiful you're so mesmerizing you're so amazing I just I just want to take you in and breathe you in the experience with you was so much fun we're so much banter we have such a good time and then you go home and it's like oh my God you're gone and all I can think about is the memories of having such a fun amazing time with you here's what happens though some of you go out on the state and you enjoy your time with the guy and then you go back to his place and even if you don't sleep together you end up sleeping over just out of convenience or for whatever reason maybe you just want to extend the date but what happens is the date the first two hours of the date is really good really enjoyable you have a great time and then you go to his house maybe you have some more chatting to do you know have some more fun and all that good stuff but then eventually it dies down because it can't be fun and exciting for 24 hours okay that's just not how it works and so eventually you go from this experience that's so fun and exciting and awesome at the very beginning that he wants to see more and get to know more and want to chase more like a drug and you become just kind of something that's just there because he goes to sleep with you and then he wakes up with you and you're still there but you know in the morning you guys AR on a date and it's not really that exciting it's not really that fun and you know you're kind of just living life he kind of gets up and you're there he kind of goes to take a pee he comes back and you're still there he kind of like oh well I mean what do you want to do you want to get breakfast yeah sure we'll get breakfast and you kind of eat breakfast and you kind of just sit around maybe you talk about last night and you're kind of just still there and maybe you have no work the next day so you don't really go anywhere and you just you guys kind of just hang out for the rest of the day and you're kind of just there you kind of just watch some stuff and you're kind of just existing and all of a sudden you go from an experience that he Associates with all of these strong emotions to now you're you're just there you know I don't like I was really happy when we went on on the date but then by the time you leave all he can think to himself is I just spent the whole day with her and yeah it was cool she's cool and you become less of an addiction and and I say this not to like be like oh God guys don't do anything fun don't have any type of fun I just want you to understand especially at the beginning why some of these things happen right why why some of these guys might lose interest why some of these guys might chase after you then all of a sudden they stop chasing after you in the process of him being so interested in you you have to manage the fact that I know you're interested in him I know you like him I know you want to be with him as well but you have to manage your the dosage that he receives of you and when he receives that dosage that he can continue being interested in you enough to continue chasing after you okay you can't give him such a high dosage so frequently that he builds up that tolerance and he no longer is interested in the drug that is you you have to be strategic about how you give that dosage out and when you give that dosage out that he can constantly be feing to come back for more number six is addiction as you continue the cycle you become a fullblown addiction for him okay if you're doing this right more of you never feels like enough if you're doing this the right way you're have giving him the right dosage at the right time he'll begin to push for more things all the time so he's going to start asking you can we hang out more can we spend more time together can you sleep over can you uh do this I want to do this let's go here let's go there let's hang out more I want to spend more hours more hours more hours more days more weeks more months more years if you have not slept with him hopefully you haven't slept with him at this point cuz that was never part of the plan okay when you're giving him dosages that doesn't mean you're giving him Squirtle he'll begin questioning your interest in him after a while of this going on where he's anticipating you he goes on the next experience with you he's got another high with you it's so amazing he goes back and he's like damn I need the next one I need the next one and the cycle just continues if you're not sleeping with him throughout this process now he's going to now he's going to start questioning again spiraling she's going out on these dates with me but she doesn't want to sleep she is she not into me am I am I disgusting to her is she is there something about me that's just offputting is she turned off does she have something else going on with another guy is she emotionally unavailable what's and he's going to start spiraling again okay that this addiction is just going to be full-blown because now he's going to be in a vicious cycle of seeing you loving your his experience with you and it being so amazing and then the anxiety of not being with you the anxious of not being with you and then that anticipation to see you and experience you again where he gets that dosage and he's like oh my God I'm in Euphoria once again and it is a vicious vicious cycle that that works out in your favor as you don't sleep with him longer and longer and longer this addiction grows more and more and more and he becomes a fiend now in this process you do your best not to validate him by sleeping with him because that sleeping with him becomes the ultimate validation that like yes I like you so much that I'll give myself to you and once you give yourself to him he goes oh now I don't have to I don't have to spiral anymore I know that she likes me I know that she's interested in me I know that she wants me H now I'm bored H what's the next thing especially when you give that to him at the beginning if you play your addiction cards right he'll continue being addicted to you and being Enchanted by you in this process remember you're also doing your own things what I mean by that is you're extracting information remember we've talked about in the process of like doing dating these guys and seeing these guys you're always trying to extract information that is this the man I'm looking for that will treat me well in the relationship and has the qualities that I want in a husband and a potential father to my children if it is then I continue seeing that person if it's not I do not waste my time with you so remember I talked about asking questions I talked about talking about exes allowing him to show you who he really is over time and experiencing him in different situations experiencing him when he's mad he's sad he's obset he's happy he's angry all that good stuff all of that is information you hear see feel and observe of him that you take in to help you make a decision on whether or not this is the guy that you're going to spend the rest of your life with so the process of you enchanting him that he feels like you're his drug is all for the for the purpose of having his attention over here that he doesn't realize all the information you're actively extracting from him over here it's the slide of hand remember I talked about casting a spell you're enchanting him and you're playing a magic trick right in front of his hands because it's not real magic in a three-dimensional sense right the magic is that I can take your attention over here and do something else over here that you don't realize and then by the time I hide it over here I come back after I put your attention over here and I say look there's nothing in my hand It's Magic right you're taking information from him you're Gathering a bunch of information you're getting him to open up to you you're getting an understanding of who he is and unbeknownst to him he doesn't realize it but you're using that information to determine whether or not you're even going to give Squirtle away to him in this process and once you determine that once you're sure of that then and only then is when you give that Squirtle away because you've extracted all the information that you needed to extract while you were enchanting him and if you realize that this is not someone worth giving yourself away to you don't give him anything for all the time he spent Enchanted and invested in you and then you get to walk away scot-free you see how that works in your favor I know for some of you you guys you're like but I don't want why do I have to I don't want to do all the work to make a guy Chase um that's too much work I don't want to I'm not doing that I'm not doing that that's too much work that's games a lot of games it's games games games I don't like games games why we all playing games when you get a guy to chase you like an addiction you can get exactly what you want from him that's why this show is called The Players Club because you understand how to play the game of not just romance and love and relationships but of life that you can get what you want out of life there are players and then there are people who get played you can choose which one you are but you will only be one of the two if you are not doing the playing you will be the one getting played that's fine with me that's fine with me it doesn't affect my life in any way shape or form if you want to be the one getting played that's fine just don't complain about getting played you can be part of the Players Club and you'll have control of your destination you can keep it hands off and leave everything a chance and say we should live in a Utopia world where everyone treats each other how they deserve to be treated and all parties involved get the respect that they deserve and everyone sees each other as a equal human being and everyone does things out of the kindness of their heart not to serve themselves but to serve other people and everyone's the most generous kind individual on Earth and we all hold hands and sing Kum bya and you know everything is sunshines and rainbows if that's the world you want to live in cool go live in that world you're Pro you're wasting your time listen to me I'm full of BS I don't know what I'm talking about I'm I'm an idiot don't listen to me I have nothing to offer you you go live in that Utopia world the rest of you who actually want to learn how to change your situation and get what you want out of life and get what you want specifically out of relationships will join me in the Players Club and understand how to play the game of life and love and relationships where you can get what you want out of them even if it's just a long-term relationship doesn't have to be something super malicious