Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy Session Notes

Main Scenario: The Young Boy

• Emotional Outburst: Boy feels crushed after being scolded by his mother for playing with dolls.
  • Mother expresses disappointment and harsh rejection.
  • Boy feels he has betrayed his family, seeks mother's approval, cries, and feels inconsolable.
  • Seeks emotional solace but is denied.

Emotional Inquiry

• Boy’s Awareness: The boy is aware that another part of himself is present (adult version).

  • Agrees to release unhappiness if possible.

  • Processing Emotions: Boy ensures he has shared all his feelings.

Addressing Concerns Within the System

• Pleaser Part: A part focused on seeking mother's approval is concerned about changes.

  • It is assured that it will still seek approval but without the influence of shame.

• Other Parts: All other parts are aligned and have no concerns.

Emotional Release Process

• Releasing Emotions: Boy needs help to release burdens (sadness, fear, negative beliefs).

  • Chooses fire as a means to permanently eliminate these negative emotions.
  • Visualizes burning emotions turning to ash and being carried away.

• Optimism for the Future: Boy wants to embrace self-love, playfulness, and confidence.

  • Imagines engaging in joyful activities like skipping.
  • Decides to reside in the heart to remind the adult self of playfulness and positivity.

Return to Present

• Present Focus: Adult shifts attention back to the current conflict with boyfriend regarding mother's birthday celebration.
  • Suggests alternating attendance at gatherings to balance both parties’ needs.
  • Feels at peace with the resolution.

Value of IFS Model in Relationships

• Trigger Management: Partner’s actions trigger internal emotions, suggesting internal sources of conflict.
  • Addressing Internal Systems: Healing internal parts leads to harmonious relationships.

Considerations for IFS Therapy

• Complex Systems: High polarization or trauma can complicate the process.

  • Specialized help might be needed for addiction, severe criticism, or trauma.
  • Suggest spending sessions with an IFS therapist.

• Teamwork in the System: Implies working collaboratively with all parts (impatient and reluctant parts).

Engagement and Resources

• Community Interaction: Encouraged to share and discuss parts on the "Me and My Parts" Facebook page.

• Journaling & Communication: Methods to communicate with parts include journaling, emails, etc.

• Additional Resources: Handouts available on the website and Facebook page for self-exploration.

• Therapist Sessions: Short-term sessions possible with IFS therapists.

  • Can also consult the Center for Self Leadership.

• Feedback: Encouraged to provide feedback on helpfulness via comments on YouTube.

Conclusion

• Understanding Your System: Emphasizes the fun and discovery in understanding internal systems and parts.