Focus on the Family Broadcast: Supporting Marriages

Speaker: Ted Cunningham

Key Themes

• Serving one another in marriages
• The importance of supporting and esteeming marriages
• Being proactive in helping others, even in small ways
• The role of community in supporting marriages
• The concept of "backup singers" in marriages

Main Ideas

Serving in Marriages

• Story of serving water in a restaurant to show the power of service.
• Encourages Christians to support marriages actively, drawing parallels with service in restaurants.

Biblical Basis

• Reference to the Song of Solomon (Chapter 1, Verse 4).
• Emphasis on community support similar to the "daughters of Jerusalem" backing Solomon and the Shulamite woman.
• Hebrews 13: We should honor marriage as highly valuable.

Practical Examples

• Retail Face Story: Being mistaken for staff and choosing to serve others regardless.
• Restaurant Story: Helping a frustrated couple by pretending to be a manager and resolving their issue with pie.
• Encouragement to serve others without expecting anything in return.

Community as Backup Singers

• Every family member, friend, and church member should support each other’s marriages.
• The importance of a supportive community for a thriving marriage.
• Singles also play a crucial role in supporting marriages.

Conflict and Resolution in Marriages

• Example: Conflict in Song of Solomon (Chapter 6, Verse 1) where the community helps to resolve issues.
• Avoiding negative backup singers who give bad advice like "you deserve better" or "just be happy".

Anger and Forgiveness

• Story of a woman angry after her husband left her, blaming her success.
• Important lessons on anger from Dr. Gary Smalley:
  • Unresolved anger is like drinking poison expecting the other person to get sick.
  • You never bury anger dead; you always bury it alive.
• Encouragement to deal with unresolved anger and not let it affect future relationships.

Identifying Good Backup Singers

• Promote and celebrate dating and engagement.
• Leverage weddings and funerals to share stories and lessons.
• Focus on feelings, not just issues.
• Know and share helpful resources.
• Avoid encouraging bad behavior on social media.
• Persist in helping others despite past negative experiences.
• Approach others with love and care even when they are angry or hurting.

Personal Stories and Illustrations

• Lloyd and Lorraine's Story: A touching example of a long-lasting, loving marriage and the impact of having good backup singers.
• Funeral Story: Using Ecclesiastes 7 to emphasize the importance of learning from a person's life and death.

Conclusion

• Christians should be consistent supporters of marriages around them.
• Focus on the Family provides resources and support for marriages.
• Encouragement to donate and support the ministry to help others.