hey Daddy I learned a new magic trick you want to see it show us Jeffy sure show us all right I just need $20 to do the trick I'm not going to pull out $20 come on Marvin pull out the $20 here all right how going to make this $20 disappear Oh no you're just going to grab it and run away no I'm not Daddy it's a magic trick oh magic trick dick disappears and [ __ ] well you're just going to tell me to close my eyes and then you're going to grab it and run away no I'm not Daddy keep your eye on the $20 oh I am all right I'm going to make the $20 disappear Abra ow hey hey Jeffy get back here wait where did the $20 go Jeffy took it I knew he was going to do that but where did the $20 go in jeffy's Pocket cuz cuz he ran away where is it I hate you I hate you so much there's someone at the door hello morvin help wait why are you in handcuffs well Goodman here get caught trying to evade his taxes and then he tried to bribe an IRS agent you tried to bribe an IRS agent yes they only make $61,000 a year and I was going to offer him $70,000 which is more money than they making a year in a single day and he's admitting to it well all right well how about I give you the 70,000 you just don't arrest me now you're trying to bribe a police officer so that's another charge I'm not trying to bribe I'm trying to help the poor wait wait why did you come here Goodman because I was going to give you the $70,000 so you could bail me out of jail why don't you get chives to do it well cuz he's got to go to court with me to plead my case and tell him how much of a good person I am I'm not going to try very hard so I need you here take it if I'm in there longer than 30 seconds I'm going to bite your balls off $70,000 who was at the door Marvin where did you get all that money okay so look Goodman got arrested for not paying his taxes so he gave me $70,000 to bail him out of jail but I was thinking we don't bail Goodman out of jail and we keep this money for us wait how long is he going to be in jail for probably years not paying your taxes is a serious crime yeah I don't know Marvin he might get really mad if you don't bail him out you're right but think about all the night things we could do with this money yeah Jeffy can make it disappear no no more magic tricks but think about it I mean if I bail Goodman out of jail he might not ask me for any more house payments but if Goodman's in jail then I don't have to give him a house payment cuz he's in jail I don't know what to do with this money to I do the right thing or do do I do the wrong thing order order order order I Am The Honorable Jorge Boer and today I am trying out a new hairstyle what does everybody think I like it you look like George Washington I hate it okay today we will be hearing the case of Mr Goodman who is being accused of not paying his taxes as well as bribing an IRS agent to continue to not pay his taxes Mr Goodman what have you to say about this it was all ch's idea he's a sad old man so he came up with the idea all by himself that's not true your honor well I have already spoken with this IRS agent and and I find you guilty and if chives is your Mastermind then I find him guilty as well you see I am paid through taxpayer money that means you're [ __ ] with my money so I sentence you to 24 hours in prison and to pay $100 million to the IRS or me if you want i' prefer me1 million I'd rather you put me in the electric chair come on you two but why you mean why you mean I didn't do anything all right get in there you two ew brick walls where's the marble tile and the granite countertops in the courts flooring ew poor this is jail we don't have any of that please sir don't knock me in yet I'm not supposed to be here I'm just the butler I'm innocent all right zip it you two you guys did the crime and you were found guilty so you have to spend the full 24 hours in jail look chives a hook do you have a bed sheet cuz I'm going to Aaron Hernandez myself or maybe Jeffrey Epstein all right that's it you're on on aive watch I'm going to be back every 15 minutes to check on you oh I'm not going to make it in here chives I need to lie down ew poor what is this bed and Frank slept on something better than this this bed looks like it came from North Korea and it's covered in bed bugs and lies and Ebola tries I need you to lay on this mattress so I can lay on top of you so I don't have to touch it sir I don't believe I have to listen to you in here chives I'm going to make you my jail yard [ __ ] and for dinner you're going to have a mouth full of Goodman balls if you don't lay your ass on this bed very well sir I love my chives mattress I wonder if it came with the vibrate feature vibrate chives oh it did I love the lower lumbar support oh chives I have to [ __ ] mouth no no sir there's a toilet right over there well this time you got lucky chives but come over here you need to wipe me very well sir ew chives what is this toilet it looks like it has herpes and syphilis all over it I'm going to need you to lick it clean so I don't get herpes on my ass cheeks but but sir isn't that what toilet paper is for well do you see any toilet paper in here because I sure as [ __ ] don't well maybe we could ask a guard for some toilet paper ches we don't have time for that I have to [ __ ] now lick CH clockwise come on [Applause] Myck up lick CH I have to [ __ ] pull my pants down is velcro in the front and back okay sir hurry CH because if I [ __ ] in these pants you're going to have to lick them clean oh you should be good now sir Char you know I can't [ __ ] until you say it very well sir all aboard the poop train [Music] D CH I need toilet paper and there isn't any so give me your shirt but sir this is cashmere well it's about to be ashmir so give it to me please sir can we just us to go for some toet paper no chives and also there's no bodet so I'm going to need you to spit on my [ __ ] spit chives spit no please sir no spit damn it more spit it's starting to dry oh go on come on I should probably go check on him come on ches a lugie but sir my mouth is very dry what the hell is going on in there dear God officer please give us some toilet paper ches when did I say stop spin where's my lugie oh dear God if you needed toilet paper all you had to do is ask here slam D no why would you do that we needed that no we didn't cuz you spit shine my [ __ ] pretty good CH thank you no okay you two just knock it off next time you need something just ask oh yes I need something if you're taking dinner orders I'll have the fet minan medium rare pepper corn with blue cheese crumbles a side of asparagus caviar and a baked potato and also I'll have a glass of Cabernet savig naan 2018 no 2017 and for Chives he'll have the Fancy Feast cuz he's a fancy little [ __ ] meow chives meow good boy uh this is prison so we don't have any of that stuff so no Fancy Feast I'm sorry chives well no all we have are fish sandwiches oh well cats like fish so go ahead chives well it's better than what you normally feed me so when I expect my fet M actually everybody gets a fish sandwich ew jail fish where do you even get that from well we just comes in a truck so it doesn't come from nou so it's not Mahi or yellow fin tuna I don't know man it's just fish ew poor I'm going on a hunger strike for 24 hours yep okay if you want to wait wait I didn't say no to the fish sandwich no ches I'm not going to let you eat that shitty food now come on I have to lie down oh don't you start complaining because complaining gives me the runs oh I'm so excited to have you sit on me all right chives down down down so what the hell you supposed to do in this [ __ ] hole anyway there's no golf course or yacht with [ __ ] or or Lamborghinis chives you know I ate it when you Mumble open your mouth when you talk what the [ __ ] CH breathe breathe what were you saying I was saying maybe we could play Tick tck too well I don't see a pen or [ __ ] paper in here do you unless you smuggled some in your ass no all right then down but sir so what if we ask the guard for a pen and paper okay call the [ __ ] guard CH I'm not going to waste my words but sir you just said so many more words chives don't make me [ __ ] guard guard hey hey hey knock it off you two now you guys are going to get a third cellmate see there was a brutal assault in another cell and there was [ __ ] everywhere I don't know who did it but I know it was in bubbles cuz he's way too friendly so he's going to be in your cell for a little while come on bubbles get in there Tri protect me what's up cute little hoes oh hello sir you a beautiful little butterfly ain't you so did you hear that he called me a beautiful little butterfly I got some soap for your ass cheeks oh perfect grab it CH and start spitting very well sir yeah you don't want to drop this soap we only got one hold on pretty tight you okay okay oops pick that [ __ ] up um sir I believe I've dropped the soap yeah you did pick that [ __ ] up pick it up CH we don't waste soap here [ __ ] but sir I feel like if I pick it up something bad Willen you wasted time pick up the damn soap just pick it up CH but something bad's going to happen sir nothing bad going to happen out here baby this bubble's house pick up that damn soap [ __ ] okay okay who's that hey don't be scared [ __ ] I'll be gentle I promise you ain't going to just walk up in myself all double cheeked up and [ __ ] and not going to throw it back on Daddy that ass for me good news Goodman you made bail oh God just me or chives 2 I thought he was with you no he does everything for me please please don't let me stay here all right mustache it's your turn now try fetch but sir it's your turn no no it's your turn now I'm ready to go now please okay come on it's m thanks for finally bailing me out of jail [ __ ] what took so long child had to spit shine my ass well you see the 70,000 was Heavy I had multiple trips to the car and you thought about spinning it didn't you oh no no no don't you lie to me I have cameras in this house and I heard you and Porky Pig thinking about spinning it wait who's Porky Pig you you little piggy a well look I did the right thing I bailed you out so what's my reward you get a thumbs up good job bud you did good well well you see I bailed you out of jail and I gave you the money to bail me out of jail all you had to do was drive down to the jail house and then pay the bail that's way more work than you do sitting on your ass all day I guess you're right yeah but I left chives in the jail cell he's getting railed but uh I'll leave him in there for a few weeks until he learns his lesson about tax fraud old [ __ ] anyway uh tomorrow house payment give it to me I should have spent the money I heard that [Music]