[Music] let's take a look at today's jargon term because i think it's one that we're all going to find uh interesting and maybe a little contentious so we're talking about repetitive and restrictive behaviors you know if you watched monday's show we had a lot of technical difficulties but we were talking about stereotypical behaviors uh and this comes under the same heading right when we look at a def uh the definition of autism the the what what the diagnosis is and and what qualifies you for diagnosis included in that diagnosis is repetitive and restrictive behaviors so let's take a look at what we're actually talking about let's see what we've got for an actual definition shall we it's a long one and it's from the journal of neurodevelopmental disorders i'll bet it's good restricted repetitive behaviors rrbs are heterogeneous ranging from stereotypic body movements to rituals to restricted interests rrbs are most strongly associated with autism but occur in a number of other clinical disorders as well as in typical development you know what i'm not even going to make fun of this definition because i appreciate the fact that it included that last line that restricted and repetitive behaviors are also seen in typical development can we get that on a billboard somewhere the problem is no one that we need to understand it would understand it but let's let's take this and let's whittle this down just a little bit so let's move on to our working definition shall we you might see uh repetitive and restrictive behaviors in yourself or in your child um in a lot of different ways and this is not an exhaustive list here but these are some of the things that are pretty common like lining toys up when someone takes and lines their cars up or saying the same words or phrases over and over requiring sameness becoming agitated when something changes etc our rbs are thought to be a reaction to anxiety and you know there might be some truth to that for some individuals but i wouldn't say that it's across the board so we will see that it is as i said part of the diagnosis that these things will be present in some way or another if the individual has qualified for an autism spectrum diagnosis right but again lots of people do this and do not qualify for a diagnosis i'm gonna guess that if you're watching this show there's something that you do that's that's repetitive or restrictive just ask yourself what do you have a rule about oh my gosh if pull my husband in here and say what are the kinds of things that make me crazy because shannon has shannon rules right like you know you don't ever wear a pair of pants i'm talking about even before covid you don't ever wear a pair of pants out into the world and sit someplace and then come home and sit on the bed in those pairs of pants what i have a rule about that i can't hang with that i lose my mind i cannot deal everything shuts down i like go into a capsule and i cannot breathe right so that's me and i have about seven million of those because i'm a little bit ocd right she said a little yeah more than a little maybe but what do you have that's repetitive or restrictive everybody has something right parker says is eating only one food a restrictive behavior yes if you only one class of food or you only eat one color or one texture that's a restrictive behavior because you're not you're not allowing yourself to do other things it's not part of your rule structure so you know if we all have this uh to some degree what's the big deal here and and boy that's gonna set us up for today's interview right um but but here's the ticket here sometimes being restrictive means that you're incredibly passionate about something and very focused right and other times it can be something that gets in your way if what you really want to do for instance is be in a wonderful romantic relationship with someone where you feel loved and they feel loved and you're happy and yet you have a restrictive behavior that is preventing you from being in that relationship well now we're at loggerheads right what if you have a restrictive behavior like let's just take howie mandel for a second because here's somebody who's pretty much in the public eye he's a comedian he's you know he used to go out and do comedy clubs and now you know he's a television personality and he's on the all these different things he's out in the public all the time and as a man who grew up during the time period that he grew up it would have been expected that you go someplace and you shake somebody's hand that was what the social norm was and here's how we and he couldn't do it because it freaked him out too much he can't touch other people's hands he doesn't want to it's too much of a germ thing for him he's been incredibly open about that so how did he figure out his life so that these two things could exist in the same place how did he figure out how do i do a talk show how do i appear on the letterman show and not come out and shake hands with david letterman so you know and what he did was he sort of rewrote the script for himself and said i'm gonna fist bump and i'm gonna tell people when i have to and he was okay with the fist bump some people are not even okay with a fist bump right um but he he found a workaround for himself so that he could do what he wanted to do and still feel comfortable with it himself now there's a whole list of things that you can do for repetitive and restrictive behaviors but we shouldn't apply it carte blanche to anything or anyone if if first of all we got to look at the behavior and and think about what is the function of this behavior because if it's a reaction to anxiety and you just try to take it away guess what you're going to do you're going to cause more anxiety and if what you're really wanting to do is to be a caring individual to this person causing anxiety not going to be helpful so first we want to look and say is this something that is soothing anxiety and if it is is there something else that we can give this individual to do that's even more productive um because you know if if you know ocd people and i might know a few um you know what i'm saying and maybe the their thing is they gotta touch the doorknob five times before they leave and that's the only way that they can leave and if you try to tell them just don't do it i'm gonna make it so that you can't touch the doorknob oh good luck you're not gonna have a good time because they're certainly not gonna have a good time and they're gonna need to come back to do it because that's the nature of what a compulsion is right instead if you want to work on what is what is the feeling why is that the safety net and can when can we find you a better safety net and work through it then it's possible the person finds something else that fulfills the need and they don't have to go back and touch it five times there are other people who the compulsion will be too much and there are people who benefit from being on medication that helps to quiet that part of the brain right we talked about that with dr grampy shea yesterday um but it i think the thing that i want us all to realize and accept and love ourselves for is that everyone has some element of this it is not all bad and almost all of it is necessary to that person in the moment so don't be yanking things away from people until you know what you're dealing with and until you've given them something that works don't have an expectation that it's going to go away yes parker i was just thinking about big bang theory that does that whole thing where he has to knock is it three times i thought it was five times and and you know where where he'll knock on the door and go penny penny penny maybe it is three times and if she opens the door before he gets to the third time he still has to do the other two times because he just can't move on right um so we need to be compassionate we need to be understanding we need to be looking at how we deal with these things how we overcome them but we can't just be yanking things out and we can't just label them as unnecessary i think you know that's the complete antithesis of what we just have been talking about it always serves a purpose [Music] thanks for watching autism live if you found anything helpful in this video please give us a like in fact make sure that you smash that subscribe button on youtube and give us a like on facebook you can also follow us on twitter and instagram for important updates and please to subscribe click here and if you'd like to check out some more of our videos click here you