hey everyone this is stefan jamison project life mastery today we're gonna have some fun i'm gonna share with you 21 crazy insane and extreme actions that i took to become successful some of what i share with you in this video might shock you some of it i'm embarrassed to share with you some of it I have some fondness of and look back and like wow I can't believe that I did that and I'm proud of myself for because all of this ultimately has helped me developed into Who I am today and helped me create the life that I have and I thought it'd be fun and interesting for you to hear specifics of moments of my life actions and things that I did to become successful and to develop myself and I'm not here to say that all of this is necessary for you to do this is not a prescription for you to become successful I think everyone has their own journey and so I don't want to paint a picture that you have to go to this extreme of what I did to become successful in your life but I do want to show you what successful people do what they go through and you might not be aware of it I think there's no secret we all know that people that are successful they work hard they work definitely a lot harder than the average person they make sacrifices in their life to become successful and they embrace a lot of challenges and difficulties and all of that but I thought by sharing with you specifics it would kind of shock you and maybe show you a different reality and maybe by watching this you might decide you know what Stefan's success is not for me I'm not willing to go through that I'm not willing to do that others you might look at how you're showing up in their life and realize you know what I'm not going for it enough I'm not playing full-out I'm not pushing and stretching my cell itself and stepping outside my comfort zone to grow I'm not sure how this is going to be received but I thought it'd be useful and maybe inspiring and maybe at least entertaining for you to learn a little bit about this with me and to kind of look at your life and aspects of it and just kind of get and a glimpse of success and what can be involved with it now again I don't want to paint the picture that this is necessary everyone has their own journey everything I'm gonna share if you was based on different stages of my consciousness of my development as a human being there were tons in my life I was very very low conscious I was depressed I was in a very dark place in my life I hated myself I hated in my life I was suicidal at stages in my life had no confidence I was shy insecure desperate and I was just trying to figure out figure out myself my life how to become successful as learning things things I was doing wasn't working as frustrated you know banging my head against the wall trying to figure out why is this not working why am I not successful I read this book I did this why is this not working for me and I so frustrated by that that I just kind of went even more extreme I said why I must not be working hard enough I'm not pushing myself enough I don't have a strong enough why and I'd always kind of pull from the resources of what I was learning and analyze what was going on why is this not working for me and the frustration fueled me and propelled me to keep taking more action so I don't know if you're gonna have to go through what I went through I went through a lot of challenges probably you know worse off than many other people what I had to go through and where I was starting from and that's not to say you know I was still blessed because I was born in Canada and had opportunities that other people may be watching this just don't have but regardless everyone has their own journey of what they go through I hope that your success can be easier than what I had to go through and then you don't have to go through what I went through but at the same time I'm also appreciative and grateful for this journey because everything I shared with you helped me be Who I am today and I want to have had this privilege to impact and influence millions of people's lives from around the world here on YouTube and through my content and through my mission and my purpose and I wouldn't have the ideas and the distinctions and the knowledge and the wisdom and all of that I've gone through is blessed me and helped me become a leader in this world I feel that can help people create the life they want and I can share with people based on my experience what to avoid the mistakes that I made and I made many of them and set people up for success and not just success financially we can debate how you define success I defined it as life mastery and having a great balance because it's not just about money it's about living a great life on your terms however you wanted to find that for yourself now one thing I must say before I go into this I believe that success by its nature is an extreme 1% if not less than that really actually ever become successful in financial terms so by its nature it's extreme the 99% of people out there look at people in the 1% and think that they're crazy the things that you know they work too hard and they do you know go to some of these extremes and what I'm gonna share with you but the reality is success is a dedicated obsessive focus on something in your life that's what separates someone of just a mediocre an average life and way of being with there's nothing wrong with that if you want it and you embrace that but that's what separates someone that has you know an abundance of money or an abundance of love or happiness or whatever it is they obsessively obsessively focused on that and did things that other people are not willing to do so I think it's important to understand that part of getting what you want is knowing what you have to give up in order to have that and if you keep doing what you've always done you keep getting what you've always got so if you want to upgrade your life you have to upgrade your thinking the same level of thinking of what you've been doing and living right now is not gonna get you to where you want to go if you want to get to the next level you've got to upgrade you need next level thinking and upgrade and shift your mindset and mentality so for me along this journey there's no doubt that I made tremendous sacrifice to get to where I'm at today not just financially but other aspects of my life and I think it's important to understand that if you want to be successful there is gonna be a journey for you of sacrifice to some extent I don't care what it is if you want to have a healthy and fit body you have to give up eating ice cream every day and junk food and sitting around on the couch I mean you just can't have your cake and eat it too you know maybe you can once in a while of course but there are certain sacrifices and a way of being and habits that are involved in order to become successful and if you study and model that and apply some of that then you too can become successful as well so let me dive into this for you guys no particular order I journaled all this stuff oh actually quite a few months ago and I want to read and share some of it and elaborate so I got started my journey of self availment when I was 17 years old I was fed up I had enough with my life I was sick and tired of being sick and tired I said eh No longer again ever again I'm gonna settle in my life for less than I can be do have an experience I'm gonna change my life and at that time in my life at 17 I started learning from other people I found books and resources and mentors one of them Tony Robbins but one person I don't talk to mention much about was Paul McKenna Paul McKenna was a hypnotist and he had these audio programs that I got and I used to go to the library and I'd find you know different programs audio programs for example I just think the library is the coolest place you know there's so much abundance of wisdom and resources that you can borrow and then you know learn so much from if you actually spend a lot of time there but I ended up getting from Paul McKenna these these mp3s that were guided hypnosis and subliminal you know audio programs and whatnot so I used to listen to hypnosis and going to like a hypnotic trance and listened to him hypnosis and subliminal messages on building my confidence and you know becoming a more powerful person in the world and things like that so I still listen to that a lot and I used to also listen to certain things from him before I'd go to sleep at night and I eventually learned that right before you go to bed you go into a certain brainwave state I forget the length of time right before you go to bed before you go into deep and REM sleep and whatnot but there's a brainwave state where you're more suggestible so your brain can be imprinted by you know and penetrate certain messages into your subconscious so for me subconscious some subliminal programming is something that I would do a lot because at that stage of my life I really wanted to develop my confidence because it's very shy very insecure wanted to meet girls wanted to have friends and my confidence was something I just never felt confident socially so that was something I did a lot of and then also shad Helmstetter wrote a book what you say when you talk to yourself and I got this book when I was seventeen and one thing he suggested in it is record yourself saying out loud again and again I am confident I am confident I am confident I am confident and record it and then listen to that again and again while you sleep so sounds crazy sounds silly stupid did it help I think so I think it did a bit it's hard to measure that of course but you know those are things that I just I learned it and I just did it and that's one consistent thing you're gonna learn as I go through this number two when I was 21 years old and this is gonna take you different parts of my life but when I was 21 years old I moved out from living with my mom so I lived with my mom my parents went through a divorce and I was living with my mom in East Vancouver big Vancouver Canada and I had some friends and I wanted to move out and we decided to form the self-development house so it'd be a house that we all lived together as roommates but we're all committed to self-development and fitness and improving our social skills and meeting meeting women so I read a book when I was 17 years old called the game by Neil Strauss this is a book about a pickup artist and the pickup artist community of his men that would go and pick up women and try to seduce them so at that stage of my life I read this book I was really kind of into that and learning about that I could actually meet women and attract them because I used to always joke you know there could be a woman right you're next to me smiling and waving at me and I'd be too shy and terrified to even say anything to her that's how Shia was so I was really working on this aspect of my life and in this book Neil Strauss and a variety of others lived in this house in Hollywood California I called Project Hollywood so I was inspired by that and me and a few friends we started project Vancouver so it was a house that we all moved into and it was a self development house so we all for example every Sunday we had these house meetings we'd have these whiteboards on our wall and each of us had to write and share you know Stefan here's like the top five actions and I'm committed to achieving for this week and each person would do that and so it'd be like an accountability mastermind group where every week we'd hold each other accountable to our goals and then if you didn't achieve a goal that you said for yourself that week then you'd have to pay $20 to the house the house would then accumulate money and we use that house to bring in a speaker a trainer some strata invest it in some form of self-development that we could all benefit from in the house so that was something that we did that house eventually grew to bigger house in Kitsilano Vancouver and at one point there was nine of us living in this house is a pretty big house Ashley is pretty old though but we each which would uh you know bootstrap and it was like five hundred bucks a month rent for each of us to live in this house eventually what I started was public speaking night so I want to improve my confidence so I started public speaking night where each person the house in the living room would each have to give a speech on a certain subject something we've been learning in our personal lives and books and whatnot you'd have to teach it to the house we'd film it so that person get the recording for feedback on what they can improve and then each person would write anonymously on a piece of paper the feedback for that person and so when I would speak I'd get feedback from everyone and then I can use that to get better for the next week so that was the way that I started public speaking has helped me become the speaker that I am today and I started a career as a speaker also later when I was 21 as well so that was invaluable to me and is such an incredible time because I really believe in proximity and a mastermind in your environment is key and just being a part of a group of other other guys that were in the self development learning challenging each other would go out together we'd put on parties at the house and whatnot we're starting our businesses at the same time and we're all learning and sharing things amongst one another to to improve we used to get wheatgrass delivered to our house once a week there's this guy wheatgrass Dave he would deliver wheatgrass which is wheatgrass you should look it up it's incredible and we use this juicer and we make wheatgrass shots and you know we got a little rebound or mini trampoline in her living room and jump up and down on that there's just so many things that we did that I'm very fond of but it's kind of a crazy thing but a really fun time that really helped me grow and develop myself in so many great ways okay the next thing number three this was when I think maybe I was about 23 years old or so for me one of the things that I was struggling with was procrastination so I was just procrastinating a lot in my life and it's felt you know I'm not I'm not going forward this is not a must for me success and my goals and building my business wasn't a must and so I realized I needed to put pressure on myself pressure creates diamonds and so what I did and I heard this story from someone from actually from Tony Robbins I think I needed to put myself in a situation where my backs against the wall like I burned the boat so I got to take the island right so what I did was I wanted to live and move into an apartment downtown Vancouver I always lived in the suburbs downtown Vancouver always wanted to live there that's the place to be especially when you're young in your 20s and the problem is Vancouver's one of the most expensive cities in the world I was only making I think about $1,500 a month and the rent was about $1,100 a month or something like that and so I said to myself you know what if I just go for it I don't know the how I have no idea how I'm gonna pay for this in fact I had maybe about two or three months saved in savings that I could use to pay for my rent and I kind of calculated I got a budget this and I can only get this much food and whatever it is I figured that out but I didn't know how I was gonna pay I knew how I was gonna pay for the first two months or three months I had no idea how it's gonna pay after that but I said to myself if I sign a 12-month lease now I'm locked in I can't back out I can't you know I burned the boat there's no back door there's no plan B I can't get out of this there's no choice an option for me but to figure out how to make enough money to pay for this so I wanted to put myself on the line to become a resourceful to become committed to tap into my creativity if I needed to stay up all night working I was willing to do that just like you know in school if you have a test or a project that's due and you you know you didn't get it done you're gonna work and stay up all night if you have to to be able to submit the project because the consequence is you don't want to get a bad grade on the project it was that same mentality so you might say that's crazy and it kind of was I wouldn't recommend that I did end up eventually getting into some debt but it stretched me in so many ways that you can possibly imagine I just pushed myself in ways of you know when there's uncertainty and and and desperation they're trying to figure out how to pay your bills you're you're resourceful like crazy I mean you're trying to figure out I got to sell this I got a you know try to borrow money in some cases I get it and I'll share with you some of the other things I did to make some extra money during that time but I went pretty extreme with that and I'm not recommending that to anyone but it's just something that I did at that stage of my life and the result of that is I grew massively I developed the muscle the muscle of whatever I commit to I do and you know when you put yourself in challenging situations like that then most things that people are challenged by it become easy in comparison okay another thing is I ended up living on my friend's couch for maybe six months to 12 months I forget how long my friend depeche she's still a great friend of mine I ended up living on his couch because I ended up getting in debt at I think maybe us maybe 24 I forget I don't remember exactly my age I'd have to think about that more but I ended up living on his couch for a little while and it was really embarrassing and challenging but I eventually had to humble myself and just say to myself you know I need to plan to get a debt so I'm just trying to save money and one thing that happened though I was actually there's a lot of stories here but I actually went down to San Diego California a while before that I created this vision board and just determined where I want to live in my life and one of the you know pictures of an ideal home that I found was in San Diego California I said okay you know what I'm gonna go live there so I went there for three months and I lived in different hostels in San Diego and during that time while I was there I actually met Tony Robbins son Jarek I actually met him at an event in Anaheim Los Angeles called three feet from gold and he was there and I recognized them and I talked to him and he invited me to go to the seminar on internet marketing I was learning in rep marketing the time he invited me to go as his guest I went there and I befriended him and I asked him for coaching and the coaching was like 500 bucks a month to get a few coaching sessions with him and I hired him and I was in a position where I was like if I hire him I can't afford to live on my own so I have to go live on my live with my friend and so I got in debt during that time I lived on my friend's couch so that I can get coaching from Tony Robbins son which was great it's great guy and and that's what I did I lived on my friend's couch and just you know it's really embarrassing to be honest because I didn't really have privacy and I had to humble myself but at the same time I was willing to make sacrifices in my life to get ahead financially there's another stage of my life had to move back in with my mom to save some money and whatnot there's a variety of things that I did like that that I was just I was willing to give up comfort like I sold my car I had this beat-up Honda Civic like in 1989 Honda Civic I sold that for like $1500 and started taking the bus you know like there's just things like that I was willing to do because I was willing to give up in the short term so I can get ahead long term and I believe that if I had coaches and if I had books and courses and resources that I could get further ahead from that I thought that was just a better investment than having a car or by having my own place I was really committed to my self-development and my growth okay another thing that I did number five is there's a seminar that I wanted to go to is actually called the Sterling men's weekend which I wouldn't really recommend to get some great benefit from it but I don't think it's available anymore is this men's weekend in group which is kind of debatable whether it's I don't know maybe cultish or they used kind of you know group groupthink control and things like that but either way it was beneficial I did get a lot from it but I really wanted to go to this event there's in New York and as in Vancouver Canada and I couldn't afford it I think I was about 500 bucks and then paying for the flight and I found people that I could room with in New York if I could do it so I didn't have the money for it so I don't think that's an excuse I think that's an excuse not having money when you say I can't afford something you're closing off your mind of coming out with any possibility to pay for it so what I did is I said how can I afford it how can I come up with the money if I'm really committed to this if there's a gun to my head I would find the way or make the way so I decided to be resourceful so what I did is I put on a car wash fundraiser in Vancouver I got some friends together I made some signs the sign said car wash fundraiser by a donation I got a an auto body shop that allowed me to host the car wash at their place and bring in people and I'd hold up the sign on the side of the road pull cars over when they'd come out approach the car and say hi my name is Stefan I'm doing this carwash it's by donation you can give whatever you want I'm using the money to invest in myself to go to the seminar I want to change my life I want to be a better person for my community and then I share with them with passion why I was doing this and I was able to enroll people and some people gave $20 50 even a hundred dollars and one day I made I think around $800 just by being resourceful and asking for help and humbling myself and being creative I remember also I went and bought cigars and I'd end up selling the cigars to like you know friends and family of whatnot at a you know marked up price just a fundraise just a fundraise money I put on a poker night with a bunch of people that came over and I paid for the pizza and everything and then half the pot would go towards my fundraiser the other half the pot would go towards whoever won so I was just so committed and crazy and just resourceful but whatever I got to do there's just no limitation in my mind that I was gonna let anything to stop me from going to the seminar or investing myself and to being the best I can and guess what when I did go to that seminar you better believe I got them the most value out of anyone else there I mean I was taking notes like crazy I applied everything that I learned from this seminar like there's so much I got from that it actually really did help me because I was very feminized in some ways I I grew up you know mostly with my mom and my sister and so I was more at a strong feminine energy I didn't cultivated a strong masculine presence at that stage in my life and so being around other men and being a part of a men's group like that really helped me in that capacity okay um another thing I did is I worked 48 48 hours straight without sleep to push myself in my business this is at a time I was 25 years old I was in Bogota Colombia my business crashed my internet marketing business and I was trying to figure out how to make money and I was so desperate at that stage I was trying to figure out you know what when I come back to Vancouver I'm gonna be better I remember I wrote on a piece of paper put it on my wall staying in this hotel and I wrote on the wall I'm gonna go back better that was my whole I'm gonna go back better than I was before I left a better person more successful better position so I was so committed I went to in Bogota Colombia they don't have 7-eleven it's a different different type of place like that but I went and buy these slices of bread I'd buy mustard and I'd buy like ham or turkey Turkey and I didn't have a fridge either in my hotel room but that's all I'd eat all day so I didn't leave I just you know I didn't even shower or anything but I just I worked like a madman for bo a week or two but one of the days I stayed up 48 hours straight without any sleep didn't even use any caffeine or anything like that I just went to an extreme and I got so immersed in what I was doing when I was working on and I just pushed myself like crazy now that's not necessary it's not healthy by any means I'd never done that since I don't need to do that but one thing that's interesting about this guys is doing it just for the challenge of it you know there's people that climb Mount Everest just for the challenge of it it's not healthy but they do it to stretch themselves to see what they're capable of and by doing something that's difficult everything else in your life becomes easy you know I have a cousin he did a 24-hour bike ride 24 hours straight why would you do that for the challenge of it he wanted to have a goal and do something to push himself because he knew on the other side of that he'd be a better version of himself and so when I look back at that I think everybody should push themselves a lot more in their life maybe you know I'm not saying you should do that all the time I'm not saying you should live your life that way and obviously sleep is important and you know I don't endorse that but once in a while maybe once in your life to push herself and have a challenge like that for yourself to grow in your life that's gonna translate to other aspects of your life and you're gonna develop muscle and habits that you you didn't have before and that's gonna translate and contribute to success in their life so that was something that I did and it was pretty extreme and crazy but I just stepped up man I stepped up and I was just super committed I don't even know how I did it without falling asleep but I just had this energy sometimes you know you just have this energy about yourself and you want something so bad that sleep didn't matter to me it was just so insignificant okay another thing that I did not on that note actually too is I actually tried sleeping four hours a night I read about this method of you know one I read about a lot of successful people don't sleep much Tony Robbins and a variety of others that only sleep like four hours a night says like okay well if I sleep less like four hours well I get an extra four hours in the day of productivity and efficiency then I could put that towards minute like imagine that the compounding of that over months or years an extra four hours a day that's gonna give you like an extra you know several weeks or maybe months within a span of a few years of your life that most people aren't getting and my belief was you can sleep when you're dead so for me I didn't know much about sleep and valued it much but I was just so extreme and it didn't last until I maybe lasted for I don't know how long maybe a week or two but at that point you know your body plays catch-up and now with all the sleep research and whatnot it's not necessary to do that so I would not recommend that one and I think for me like I sleep a good seven eight hours a night now and I value it and I know the importance of my track it's my aura ring this tracks my heart rate and body temperature my deep and REM sleep and light sleep so I track my sleep and I really know and understand the importance for your hormones and growth hormone and all of these different benefits of getting deep sleep so for me I track my sleep and I value it a lot today and I think it contributes a lot to what I do and being successful as well okay the next thing just kind of on that note of hard work working several months straight without a day off I mean even actually last year last year when I that was actually the longest stretch I had of working without a day off was I was invited by Tony Robbins and Dean Graciosa to support them in the launch of this new product there's a product that Tony Robbins had launched he hadn't launched a new project in over 12 years and so they invited me to participate in helping promote it and support it and I was one of the top people that promoted it and as result went to Fiji spend time with Tony Robbins all of that stuff which I've shared before in the past but during that time I worked every day for three months three months I was in Panama as I am now but it wasn't a different place at the time but three months straight I did not take a day off it was extreme crazy but I wanted it so bad I was so committed to it I didn't need the money it wasn't for money or success I was already successful at that stage of my life but it sometimes you find a different reason and purpose that you're excited behind something that you really you know go all-in with and that's what I did so for me I just went all-in three months straight and hooked his Hoff got massively burnt out took a long break and vacation in Argentina and I went to the gwazi Falls and B this areas and Santiago Chile and you know just traveling around South America and whatnot so for me that's a pretty extreme time not healthy I don't think you have to do that but hey you know at times you might have to work everyday you notice still times where I do work everyday if there's a big project or launch I have more freedom and flexibility now and I don't need to but sometimes you do and especially there's been many times along my journey where I worked seven days a week I worked 14 15 16 hour days I mean Thomas Edison was known for the 18 hour work day maybe I'll share that with you guys later or in another video about that but you know I just realized I I was lazy in my life at different stages and I needed to cultivate the habit of working hard and doing things when I didn't feel like it as many times I didn't feel like doing it but I had to train myself if I don't feel like it I've got to do it I lived by this philosophy that Tony Robbins taught that he learned from Jim Rohn which is that if you can't then you must if you say you can't do something but you know by doing it you're gonna be better off for it you're gonna be more confident a better leader a better worker a better human being then you owe it to yourself to do it you're cheating yourself if you don't do it so for me if something was uncomfortable or difficult that was like great that's my opportunity of growth right there time to step up time to do it time to stretch myself and as a result I'm gonna grow from that okay the next one and I've lost count but the next one is I've invested hundreds of thousands of dollars at this point into myself hundreds of thousands of dollars into books seminars courses training programs mentors coaches consultants technology biotech in gear body healers energy workers opening up my chakras you know you name it you know Iowa I've all invest in anything if I believe it can make my life better because for me the cost of not knowing and not benefiting from something I mean imagine the things that I've learned and invested in if that's helped me with my life today if I didn't know these things that cost is so significant to me that's so painful that there's just no like I just I want every advantage of life that I can get I want to learn and grow and I discover things through investing and learning from other people that have made so many incredible differences in my life I mean I've invested hundreds of thousands of dollar I didn't know the exact number I mean I've had seminars I've paid to go to for ten thousand dollars I mean even Tony Robbins business mastery seminars ten thousand dollars I've been here was unleash the power within event seven times and I've been to business mastery twice and date with destiny twice and you know I've I've hired consultants and coaches for $15,000 I hired one coach fifteen thousand dollars just to help me with this one block that I had does preventing me from growing in my business to help me hire a manager in my business I had so much fear I I was afraid of giving up control I hired someone before it didn't work out I had a lot of pain with that so I hired someone to teach me how to do it and guide me and coach me through the process to set up a structure of my business because I could have made me figure that out on my own eventually but I just needed to fast-track that to hire someone helped me overcome that I've just been pretty extreme with that and that's why I preach and share the value of information and earning and applying what you learn that's the secret to my success guys all I've done and the consistent thing you're gonna learn is I invested to myself and learn from others and I just did it I didn't question it I didn't doubt it I wasn't skeptical I can't even relate to that I just approached every experience with newness and excitement and belief and optimism and excitement and yes I did get burned at times and yes things didn't work out the way I expected and it was painful but I never once blamed that I just said okay that didn't work let's move on to the next I never want like a lot of people today they invest in something they try something oh it didn't work and they complain and they whine about it and it's so painful for them that it's a failure and it means I'm not good enough and it means that there's their scamming they don't care about me and all these things people are fake and phony they're not really successful they're not really that happy and they create all these stories as a way to protect themself to protect the ego really but to protect themselves because they don't want to experience that pain again so they give up and they never try and they're letting in the past dictate their future and theirs keep bringing their past baggage again in the future again and again and they give up and they never try and they settle in their life for a life well you know a life of quiet desperation a life of of not much you know mediocrity and for me I just you know whenever something didn't work what can I learn from it how can I utilize it what's good about this what can I like sometimes I invested things I already knew it great that's this a refresher I get to reinforce what I already know maybe this will help me actually apply what it is that I've learned again and again but the investment in this makes me actually do it in my life you know or sometimes you know things didn't work out but that was okay it didn't it didn't bother me I just kept going and as a result of that I started finding things and came across things that did change my life it wasn't everything but as Wayne Gretzky says you miss a hundred percent of the shots that you don't take not every shot goes in Michael Jordan the greatest basketball player of all time missed a lot he missed he lost games part of winning a game is risking the potential loss but a lot of people are afraid to even get on the court they're sitting on the stands watching other people play the game where it's safe and comfortable but they never get the rewards that someone does by actually taking that risk and being on the court and playing in their life they're playing small instead of stepping up and and growing in their life so for me I just refused to settle and I was willing to keep investing myself and I still do I invest in everything that I can that can make my life better I don't care what it is I've invested I can't even tell you how much in supplements I don't know if all the supplements have benefited my life I do work with naturopathic doctors I do get a lot of testing done to measure things and see and take supplements based on that and some some that I do know and bet that you know absolutely benefit me but if there's a supplement that can help me I'm not afraid to buy it and try it if it can help me because the cost I'm not trying it's much worse then maybe it doesn't work and I just lost some money like for me that's not that big of a deal but if it does work and it does change my life amazing my life will be better off for it and I always viewed if everything could just improve my life a little bit like but 0.001 percent this this this and this that adds up over a period of time and that can make a significant impact and difference in the quality of your life so I was just always investing myself still do that's why I preach it to you guys that's why I even do what I do by the way and create and share content I wouldn't be able to share all that I've learned if I hadn't gone to what I've gone through it's that's where all my knowledge and wisdom and experiences come from that makes me effective in helping other people you know and that's why by the way I went into this industry because it changed my life so much other people that when I was thinking what do I want to do with my life I want to do what's made an impact in my life and I want to be that light for someone else I want to inspire and help someone else with their life and I started creating courses because courses I value so much because what they've done for my life that I know that information can change lives in so many incredible ways so that's another pretty crazy thing people have done and the return in that guy's millions of dollars that have made financially but I don't even care just about financial wealth because there's a lot of things are not measurable which is your happiness happier than I've ever been before in my life the peace of mind that I have the spiritual connection with God my relationship and attracting the woman of my dreams and having an incredible relationship and my health and my vitality all of that you can't put a price on it's worth more than money and I would have paid way more money than what I paid to get everything that I've gotten from it you know so that was my mentality and does something that I did okay another crazy thing that I did with developing my speaking skills is I would study great speakers and I transcribed their speeches and so I'd transcribe pay to get it transcribed or it write down word for a word what their speech was like a Martin Luther King maybe a Tony Robbins Jim Rohn people that really inspired me John F Kennedy and a write down their speech and I would I would speak it out loud and practice it and try to emulate their body language their their gestures their vocal tone and implement that so that I could kind of take a piece from them kind of you know Bruce Lee said that you know I take what works discard what doesn't create something uniquely my own I wanted to kind of take from each of these people in model different parts of them so that I could become a better speaker so that was one thing that I did a lot with helping my communication skills and I'd kind of model different nuances and break down parts of their speech and I'd also film myself speaking and this is I did this before I had a YouTube channel I filmed myself and had to watch and analyze okay I said I'm like you know okay I got to improve that you know that's a weird mannerism that I had I didn't even know okay I got to work on that be more conscious of that when I do speak and I do communicate or I'm talking too fast I'm talking too slow or you know I could emphasize that you know something a little bit more whatever it is all those things I was pretty obsessive oh I'm not anymore just so you know I'm just really at this stage of my life I just try to be myself and don't really think that much about how I'm coming across because for me thinking and being self conscious about how I look is actually cheating you it's it's it's a focus and attention taking away from the most important thing which is the message of what I'm trying to communicate but regardless those things did benefit me a lot okay so when I was 17 18 years old going back to that time of my life guys I shared how I was really into improving my confidence my social skills at 18 years old I met a group of guys in Vancouver on the Internet as a part of this part of this message board that were going out and meeting women and so I'd surround myself with them and we'd go and approach women and I was terrified to do that especially in broad daylight on the street at the mall at a coffee shop but I'd forced myself to overcome my anxiety and just keep approaching again and again I'll share a few more stories about that but one thing that I noticed as I had done this a lot in my you know 18 early 20s and whatnot I became very confident I shifted my personality my career is like like communication all of that but one thing I noticed though is I always had this crutch which was that I always needed to have a friend or be called a wingman with me to actually approach a woman and if someone wasn't with me I'd be too self-conscious and too nervous to actually approach someone and so what I decided to do is I said you know what I'm gonna handicap myself so I would go to the hardest environment that I could to meet women and challenge myself on purpose and make it difficult so that by doing so it would help me later when I am with my friends or am in a more comfortable environment so it kind of be like if you're you know working out wearing it a set of weights to make it harder to make your body grow a lot more so the thing that I did that terrified me was going to a nightclub by myself no alcohol whatsoever and staying there and forcing myself to approach women and have conversations that terrified me so as I said if you can't then you must so I said you know what I'm gonna do this so I as Vancouverites go to this club it doesn't exist it's called Mavericks in Burnaby British Columbia and I try to go to night clubs that I would not frequent usually so nobody would know me so I didn't if I embarrass myself then nobody would you know remember that or no and I went to this club had my glass of water sit there for four hours a night some nights I'd be there I'd be so much in my head I cannot approach anyone I was so self-conscious I would drive back to my house just like depressed sad beating myself up I just couldn't even get myself to approach someone and I just went back the next weekend and maybe the next week and I did one approach and it was just like really really bad because I so in my head and micromanaging every thought I'm gonna go back the next weekend I just kept doing that and as a result of that I got better and better more confident you get desensitized and more comfortable with discomfort over time and as a result of that when I would you know go by myself or with friends or whatever it is I could approach someone and be more confident I didn't want situational confidence situational confidence is where your confidence is dependent on an environment or a circumstance like you're only confident when you're wearing your makeup and your only confident when you're wearing a nice outfit or you're only confident if you know all these circumstances or rights because for me I always thought if the woman of my dreams is walking by I I don't want to miss out on that opportunity to meet that person because I don't feel good or because I don't you know I didn't shave or whatever it is you know I just wanted to make sure that I never had that regret because if that person was there I wanted to have that ability to go and approach them and meet them and have a conversation and potentially find out if that's a person for me or not so that was one thing I did it was pretty crazy another thing was I'd pretty much do whatever I learned the coaches that I had the mentors that I had I just fully trusted them I was coachable some of the coaches that I learned from in programs that I went to whatever they said I just did it you know just case in point they can't you know if you can't then you must I just did it one thing for example is they taught about tithing and giving 10% of your income to charity and the purpose of that is it helps you be more abundant so for example George clay said in his book the richest man in Babylon talks about that many other people talk votes tithing and just take a percentage ring come give it to your church give it to charity what that does is it teaches you that there's more than enough you're not living a scarcity my doing measure and abundance and more flows into your life I just did it I just did it guys I didn't have the money I had every excuse not to do it I just trusted and did it if I learn about you know I watched the secret the law of attraction is said to visualize and you can attract I just did it I just did it guys like I wasn't skeptical you could say I was naive yeah maybe I was but it got me into action and some things worked and others didn't but ultimately the things that worked out wait the things that didn't work and so I just kept trying things and just trusting and believing what I learned and did it it's pretty pretty simple you just have to get out of your own way okay another thing was so the first seminar I ever went to was 18 years old is with zan Perry on zan is someone I've interviewed on my youtube channel he was actually in the book the game I met Shannon mother way I met Neil Strauss as well in when I was a teen in Seattle Washington and a book signing great guy and I loved his books and you know what he does and he's got some good stuff I wouldn't recommend buy the book the game I wouldn't recommend the advice of it it's a great story and inspiration though in many ways but I don't believe or do this that kind of stuff that was when I was young but anyways I went to this seminars and carry on his very first seminar and I followed this guy message boards for a long time really looked up to him and so when he did an event in Vancouver I signed up for it 500 bucks 18 years old I brought my laptop I sat in the front row and I was a really fast typer because I used to ply it play a lot of video games that were typing this dungeon & dragon type video games are called muds multi-user dimensions long story as a geek but anyways I would write out everything he said so I just like typed everything you said as if it was gospel and I took it so literally but when I wrote out for two days his seminar all of these incredible notes cuz I wanted to go through it again and again which I did I take notes and I'd study it again and again after seminar after I learned it and try to figure out how to apply it but I shared it was an and he was blown away by it he's like oh my gosh I can't believe can you send this to me and he really appreciated that so that was something that I did and zan I actually became friends with Sanh and spent some time with him he's a really great guy and I had him on my youtube channel cuz two years ago he was in Vancouver and he reached out to me said hey let's get together for for lunch and you know we did and I did an interview with them so for those of you that know him as a influencer what not is that interview is on my youtube channel okay another thing so when I was 21 my first business was called lifestyle transformations this was a dating coaching business for men because I made a transformation in my life and I want to help other men overcome their fear of approaching women improve their confidence as well I used to do these free seminars in Vancouver we'd advertise them on Craigslist and meetup calm their called the dating mastery seminars we did them every every two weeks and there's free and then I'd sell people on a three-day boot camp where they actually take men out into nightclubs bars the mall and actually help them approach women and so I did that for many years and one thing is our boot camps would end at one or two o'clock in the morning and they're very immersive so it was like 30 hours in a weekend Saturday for example would be like from morning to like 1 or 2 o'clock at night so they're pretty intense for me though because I wanted to push myself beyond and I just I didn't want to do just what everyone else was doing if I was tired I would try to go beyond that that was an opportunity for me to grow so if he 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning we have the next session the next day and I said to myself you know what I'm gonna stay out an hour later an hour later I'm gonna push myself you know I'm tired I want to go home this is where the growth is just like when you're building a muscle you're lifting weights you do 10 reps if you go beyond that you know beyond failure that's where the growth is you know it's not on the first rep it's not in the second right that's beyond what you can normally do and that's how you get stronger so I remember hearing about Michael Jordan Larry Bird the best of the best that asked in game they would stay on the courts when everyone all the fans all the coaches all the other players have gone home and they're relaxing Michael Jordan Larry Bird the best in the world they would stay on the court and it keep making shots they keep practicing after a game when they're exhausted and they're tired they'd keep practicing and honing their skill set so that was another thing that I used to kind of believe in practice a lot so another thing that I did let's see so this someone has also 18 years old the the biggest thing when I was trying to improve my confidence is I just wanted to overcome my fear of approaching a woman that was just a big sticking point for me and I know it's kind of embarrassing sharing this stuff with you but that was just the stage of life I was in I was young and all of that but at that stage of my life that was the biggest fear I didn't care about really even meeting a woman and getting a phone number or a date I just thought if I approach enough women and I can overcome just that initial part then I'd be more confident more comfortable in conversations and it would lead easier to maybe meeting someone and getting a date or whatever it might be so and has 18 years old I met those guys in Vancouver Canada they became my friends and my mentors we'd go out every weekend meet women I saw them approach women has blown away by it and so I started learning and doing that myself and as terrified to do so so I just kept doing it again and again and so I'd go at about four days a week molls coffee shops Granville Street in Vancouver I wasn't old enough to go to night clubs you have to be 21 and think you're 19 in Vancouver to do that in Canada so I would go just walk outside the nightclubs and approach women that were older than myself but I just kept approaching again and again and my goal and I approach was just to add value so a lot of men they try to get and take something from a woman they're trying to pick them up and you know get a phone number or try to get laid or whatever it is for me I said I don't want to have that taking energy because that actually repels them I'm gonna go up and just add value so I'm gonna go up and give a compliment tell them that you know I wish you have a great night tonight or you look beautiful and I just wanted to stop you and say that to you and then just say have a great night Kawai that was it I wasn't trying to get something just approach have a great night walk away go out hey you know what you have a great energy about yourself walk away again and again and again and sometimes that were leading to some conversations at times too what I did though is every time I'd go out and do maybe 10 to 15 approaches sometimes more sometimes less depends and sometimes I went out every day it's pretty extreme but I'd always go home and journal I journal about it and write out what my experiences was what happened in every interaction what I could have done better I'd analyzed my body language my eye contact my vocal tone everything I was sub communicating beyond the words and every time that a woman or someone had approached would react in a way I took responsibility for that if she was uncomfortable if she was nervous if she was standoffish I looked at myself and said what did I do that made her feel that way what can I improve maybe I didn't give enough space maybe I came in I wasn't confident enough are comfortable and it made her uncomfortable I'd always look at and analyze that one day I looked back and when I was 18 years old how many approaches actually did because I used to count every single one and I counted it was over 2000 2000 groups of women some individuals some groups 2,000 in a year and it was pretty insane looking back at that and you know I went on I didn't do 2,000 every year after that but I did approach pens over 10,000 for sure and just helped my confidence and my social skills and my communication all of that in so many incredible ways so that was a stage on my life that I was in and obviously I'm not at that stage anymore but I look back with some embarrassment to share that and but some fondness to just you know looking at myself like wow you know some pretty impressive and and I embarrass myself at times and says stupid things at times and cross the line at times um you know but also I added a lot of value and made a lot of women decide well thank you so much I really appreciate that it's very nice of you and you know that make their day in some cases that call their friends guess what happened to me and it was something that didn't happen for a lot of people especially at coffee shops or whatever it is and I just really believe that can add value and in the process and prove my confidence okay adding on to that so when also one has 18 years old one of the jobs I had is I work for my dad we had a family business construction manufacturing business where we made limestone fireplaces so we make the mantel and surrounds for four houses and part of my job at times has I had to go to Home Depot to get supplies and decided to go to Home Depot and I played this little challenge with myself where I can't leave Home Depot until I said hi to three people so I was reading this book called how to talk to anyone I forget what the author's name is but I just every day wanted to stretch myself if I had the opportunity to talk to someone and push myself I was gonna do it so I'd walk through the aisles of Home Depot and just find someone to say hi to and sometimes it would take a while because it is too nervous and too much anxiety and hesitation building up but that was one thing that I did you know I just would push myself as much as I could another thing is I'd have to drive to work to that job so I was driving about 30 minutes a day commuting and I turned my car into a university on wheels is what I learned from Brian Tracy started listening to audio programs Wallace taught in my car and while I was driving I'd also do my affirmations so I just I lived with my mom I didn't have a safe environment for me to say affirmations out loud so I do it when I was driving the car so I'll Drive my cart at work and I'd be yelling in my car I am confident I am confident I am unstoppable unstoppable I am whatever it is that I want to become because whatever you attach the words I am to is what you become so I kept saying again and again and again to condition myself and then what I also did too at times was I had to see these this program called set your voice free by Roger love look Roger loves the big vocal coach in the world he's actually my vocal coach because years later I think about three years ago I met Roger loved and hired him and now her friends I've done interviews with him on my youtube channel but I was 18 years old I would listen to this and I'd do these vocal exercises again and again in my car because at that stage of my life um I had a lisp and I used to mumble a lot I was a really really bad speaker and I was very self-conscious to speak and one challenge that I also had - once I started going to nightclubs is I really struggled projecting my voice and this is actually another one that I'll share I struggled projecting my voice and the music was always very loud as a very challenging environment and when you're talking to women or even men or anyone in the nightclub one thing I hated is I always had to lean in and when you're leaning in the idea that I was learning at that time is like your supplicating to that person you're communicating lower status that you have to lean in for them and an alpha male right these are the things I was learning an alpha male is centered and doesn't need to lean in other people are leaning in as that person speaks so I didn't want to be the one leaning in I wanted them to lean into me so I had to work on my voice and my voice projection so my friend Cheyenne and I one of my best friends we found a vocal coach and took classes with them and did speech pathology classes just to improve our ability to project her voice without straining it so she had this device this vocal the speech pathologist that would measure the volume of your voice and so we would measure it and practice these breathing exercises speaking from our diaphragm not from our chest creating a resonance in the voice and just practice speaking and projecting that and that helped us when they go to night clubs but not to be able to command attention and speak really really I have a very powerful voice now if I project my voice I can project it very loud without actually having much strain to do it so I've developed this ability to modulate my voice as a result of that is I can speak very quiet and softly and I also have range where I can go up which is something that I learned back in the day okay another thing that I did we're almost at the stretch here guys hopefully you guys are enjoying this or it's at least interesting for you so another theme that I did was in 2010 2011 2012 I wanted to change my body and I was really committed to it and I just was struggling really getting the motivation and sticking with a program long enough and so I had this life coach that I was working with and he said Stefan you got to do a fitness competition and I said a fitness competition I can't do that I'm I'm skinny I don't have enough muscle I'm not gonna win that and he said forget about the results just do it for the process of who you become because when you have an event like that that you're committed to it doesn't matter what you look like on the day whatever you look like on the day doesn't matter how you compare yourself to everyone else how you place you've already won once you're there because you're gonna be at the best shape of your life so yes other guys have been doing this for years maybe on they're on drugs you know and they're gonna be bigger than you more fit that's okay don't compare yourself it doesn't matter you're not doing it to impress anybody you're doing it to be the best that you can be so I decided to do it I committed to the WBFF in 2012 I hired a coach to help me with my nutrition and had this workout program and I was motivated like crazy I went to an extreme workout you know twice a day you know following tracking every calorie in a spreadsheet my macros all of that stuff and I transformed my body and I went I probably over trained and went to extreme because I lost a lot of muscle as well but it was a powerful process and journey of what I became the confidence I got from that and just the ability to do something and commit to doing something I was afraid to do so I just took on that mentality if I can't then I must and I just did it now two years later I did another fitness competition because the first one I wasn't the healthiest I was using a lot of casein and whey protein which I found you know it was really bad for you and I had you know certain things I just wasn't as healthy so I did it more plant-based and a more healthful way but it was just a really great accomplishment in my life to push myself in that way and to develop myself in that way okay another thing I'll share if you got two more so another thing that I did was I remember at one point me and my friend Cheyenne we're in Toronto at Eaton Center which is a big mall there and we must have been maybe 18 19 years old or something like that but we're in Toronto and Ratt the mall and we would challenge our challenge each other to push ourselves to approach women and so we used to actually write down before we would go out what are the outcomes and the goals you want it like what are the little milestones and challenges for yourself so we each share is each other okay we're each going to approach 12 12 people today and just start a conversation with them we have to approach two mixed groups of groups of men and women because one thing I was afraid of was like approaching guys with you know girls and whatnot and to starting conversations I'd challenge myself with that and we would kind of break all this down but to create pressure on each other and to make each other accountable one thing that we did would go to an ATM machine we withdraw 500 bucks give it to the other person to say listen if I don't do this by the time the mall closes you got to keep this money so now I'm accountable and it's a must for me to follow through and do this so I just you know would find a way to do those approaches to do the challenges we had I know it's silly and stupid but we did it I remember at times when the mall was about to close and for me it's like I'm gonna lose my 500 bucks I got two more approaches the malls closing in five minutes and I couldn't find people to approach I've just started approaching an old lady you know hi how are you and this has heard a go on and just start a conversation with that person just so I can get my 500 dollars back so that was a fun time that we did that and the last thing you know also and I can I can share a lot more with you guys but you know I was learning at that time when I read the book the game which by the way I mentioned Project Hollywood Project Vancouver that actually inspired me to start project life mastery I took the word Project which I liked and then added life mastery to it it's a story behind that but I was learning about the way at that time of how you'd meet women is you would develop into routines and you'd have these openers right this is how you'd start a conversation one of the ways to start a conversation with a woman is asking for her opinion everybody likes to share their opinion especially women was the theory and so I would memorize this one opener which was just asking a woman hey let me get your opinion who lies more men or women and so it'd be this conversation startled starter and there's a few others that I used to use and so I did this when I was eighteen ninety years old and we just go around asking women and asking people hey what's your opinion who lies more men or women and then it's a man or a women or a joke around and tease about it but it was just like a conversation starter that we did so you know I used to kind of memorize those things which is kind of silly and stupid and I know it's kind of a crutch and then eventually I realized you didn't need to do any of that this is who you are and their presence their confidence that matters it's not what you say it's how you say it and you can just walk up to someone and you know if you're confident comfortable with yourself they're gonna respond in a positive way if you know if you project the right energy so 21 things guys that's it pretty insane some of the things like I said you know a pretty extreme but I think the common theme that are gonna notice is that I've just been committed in my life to self-development I've been committed to stretching myself if something was difficult or challenging I would do it I would do it I'd be willing to if it can make me better if it was not detrimental to others I would do it and as a result of that you see the person that I am today I've grown tremendously I developed a lot of confidence I can deal with adversity a lot of things that bother other people don't bother me I not affected by criticism really or rejection I've been rejected a lot as you can imagine during this time but you become desensitized towards that and you just become more free in your life and it's translated you know back when I was like into the dating and stuff and I was 18 19 20 you know that translated to me having success in business and money and then translated to my body and fitness other aspects of my life its enrich and enhance all of that because I have those muscles there's always muscle memory with other parts of yourself of what you've done before now I'm not that extreme to that extent today in my life because I don't need to a more content and satisfied with myself and comfortable in my life and I you know at that time there's moments of desperation and all of that involved and wrapped up in the things that I was doing but I'm grateful with the result and the result is not what you get but it's who you become and I'm incredibly proud of who I've become because I've learned from every experience in my life every mistake all the good and the bad and the mindset that I've taken on has really enriched my life in many different ways so maybe you can take some of that today and there's some lessons and some value here and what you can do to maybe apply to yourself to step up in your life if you'd like or maybe maybe it's not for you and that's okay it's up to you what you want and for yourself in your life you get to decide what that is and define what your success is gonna be but understand that there's a price to pay to get what you want and push yourself is something scary to do do it push yourself challenge yourself that's where the rewards are in your life you know the best version of yourself is just right outside your fear on the other side of the fear is the person that you want to be so I invite you I challenge you I've been very transparent with you here today so hopefully I can inspire you in some way and help you in some way shape or form if not entertain you I guess on you know what I've gone through my life thank you so much if you enjoyed that subscribe give a thumbs up I'll see you again soon god bless