[Music] hey guys how are you doing this is laura here i'm going to go through this leaving cert history essay with you today from the 2018 paper it's from the topic the pursuit of sovereignty and the impact of partition and the question about the anglo-irish treaty now i'm only going to dip in and dip out of different parts of the essay so i do recommend you have a read through the entire essay so that it's clear in your head what exactly i'm talking about as we're going through it but in saying that you will be able to find a fully annotated pdf of the essay on study clicks if you would like a little bit more detail on it you'll see that i'm firstly going to talk about the question itself because we need to be really clear in our leave insert okay this is the choice i've made i'm doing this essay am i really sure about all the things that i have to do am i clear about the path that i'm heading down with this essay so i would also recommend you look out for that little word a-n-d and the word both that tells me straight away that there are two parts to this question because i have to talk about one the negotiations and two the terms of the anglo-irish treaty now the marking scheme will tell you that you don't have to talk about both in equal length you know it doesn't have to be 50 50 but i do have to talk about both and that could be a common thing or a common mistake that people make they talk loads about one and two little about the other so be careful there when i see a date in a question i see the date 1921 there okay i need to be aware of that because i need to make sure that i give some context and some background to that date what was going on up to that date that created a need for this angler irish treaty and then i'm going to go a little bit after that date obviously as i go through my essay and certainly in my conclusion but be aware of the dates all the time the third thing i want to point out to you here guys is that word controversial now when we hear that word nowadays sometimes we associate it with something really really scandalous and in relation to this kind of a history essay it might necessarily be something massively scandalous so look at that word controversial and think about the effect of whatever the topic is that you were just speaking about because the effect of it is what was controversial maybe it created a divide maybe it deepened a divide maybe it created resentment maybe as a result of this so and so left their job or left the party or maybe as a result of this violence increased or so and so was killed any of those kind of things in what way was this controversial what was the effect of it and if i do that then i am definitely exploring the word controversial i am making an argument and i'm aware of the question the examiners are looking for that all the time in fact the chief examiner's report in recent years has spoken about case studies specifically how they are an important feature but they should not become the exclusive basis for answering of questions so what's often happening is people are simply summarizing a case study you need to be aware of the narrative and or analytical demands of the question so yes you are giving a narrative you are telling the story of the anglo-irish treaty for example but you are also analyzing it be very careful there that you're not simply just throwing down everything you know about the anglo-irish treaty and you're not harnessing it for the specific question on the day you need to be careful of that the other thing the chief examiner points out is that you have to be prepared to engage in historical argument i remember what i was saying there about you know what makes it controversial argue your case don't be afraid to give an opinion to make an argument to scrutinize ask yourself what was the effect of this what did it impact on and if you can do that then you are engaging in historical argument using the evidence that you have learnt off and that you understand in order to make that argument so looking at this particular essay does this essay do that it does it pretty well actually the introduction there it looks a little bit short i'd like a little bit more background a little bit more context about 1916 the war of independence things between england and ireland at this time were heated it wasn't an easy relationship at the time as they headed into trying to negotiate this anglo-irish treaty as a result of 1916 and the irish war of independence those two events are essays in themselves so it can be hard to summarize these things that's something to practice practice summarizing the 1916 writing in three sentences the war of independence in three sentences and if you can do that then you can give me great context and great background this introduction does express itself well it does give great facts it does give a very clear stance this essay at the last sentence there this essay will discuss how both the negotiations and terms of the anglo-irish treaty were controversial so i'm very clear i'm saying this is my opinion on it and now i'm going to go and i'm going to prove that so good introduction moving into the main body of the essay i'm going to look firstly at paragraph one the first thing that stands out to me there is all of those things that i've highlighted really good specific facts and evidence you see some quotes in there you see some dates this essay knows the correct and relevant information to make their argument so all of those facts and evidence are crucial the words of the question are slotted in there all the time the ira had achieved its goal of forcing the british to negotiate so we're heading in now to the negotiations the fact that they had done that in itself was kind of controversial so you could link it back to the question there but you could certainly link it back to the question a little bit more clearly at the end of this paragraph the time had finally come for military action to give way to politics a prime opportunity to refer back to the question something along the lines of this new political route would be the start of controversy in the divisions that it created and the notoriety that it placed on people like lloyd george and devalera you know you could say something like that you can find your own language there but just ask yourself was this controversial or how did this start the controversy just to make it a bit clearer on the question of the day what you are actually talking about there this final sentence could refer back to the question that little bit more it says the time had finally come for military action to give way to politics you could draw that out a little bit more and talk about how this new political route would prove controversial in the divisions that it created and the notoriety that it placed on people like michael collins and eamon de valera and lloyd george et cetera et cetera you can find your own language there but that was to me just a little missed opportunity to create a bit more awareness of the question in this essay and the examiners are looking for that so be careful there moving on down the essay to paragraphs six and seven the first sentence there is very good from the outset the british made it clear that a republic was not on offer that opening sentence links back to the previous paragraph i remember your leaving cert history essays should have this kind of a thread running through them to create this sense that you know not all the information stands out on its own it's important that all of this is linked in some way very clear language and expression in this essay it's put together very very well in the second paragraph there i've highlighted some of the things it was a massive deal the constitutional issues and the fact that the crown would have some future role within the internal affairs of ireland and i would love if this paragraph elaborate on the arguments that these issues created because that was a huge part of the controversy the fact that those constitutional issues and the role of the crown would still exist created huge arguments and debates and divisions they were very provocative and those were the basis of the controversy so just a slight missed opportunity there to refer back to the question the conclusion there you can see it's a little bit short we have to finish a little bit stronger than this it does sum up the topic in a very clear and simple way you know what's written here is not incorrect or inaccurate it just needs a little bit more meat to it i would love if this conclusion made a statement summing up your findings in this essay so this essay has spoken about all of the issues surrounding the boundary commission and the choosing of the delegation and de valera's role or a lack of role if you like all of those things can you sum up all of those things using those summarizing skills that i spoke about before as i mentioned from the chief examiner's report make an argument give an opinion a little bit more of that is needed here this whole issue needs to be placed as well in the wider context of how this anglo-irish treaty caused you know this major divide in sinn fein and the beginning of civil war politics really important to place what you've spoken about so far in the wider context just a couple of sentences that would move this conclusion out of that good bracket up to very good maybe even up to excellent so that brings me to the end guys of my tear down of this particular leaving third history essay i hope you found it useful i want to remind you as well that there is a fully annotated version of all of the paragraphs on studyclicks if you'd like a little bit more detail on them and i hope to talk to you again soon thanks bye