Understanding Emotional Impact of Words in Communication

Key Concepts

• Emotional Impact of Words

  • Every word has an emotional impact on the listener.
  • The limbic system, much like the respiratory system, controls these impacts automatically.
  • Words influence emotions unless the listener is dead.

• Word Choice and Emotional Response

  • Different words (e.g., "it," "you," "I") have varied emotional impacts.
  • Understanding subtle differences in word impact can make communication seem like magic.

Word Analysis

• "It", "You", "I"

  • Example: Telling a story using "I" vs "you" creates different feelings.
  • "You" engages the listener differently, making them feel more involved.
  • "I" tends to draw attention back to the speaker.

• Context-Driven Language

  • Word and phrase selection should be context-driven.
  • No word or phrase is inherently bad or good; it's about how and when they are used.

Practical Examples

• Storytelling in Communication

  • Using first-person singular and second-person pronouns can alter the listener's emotional experience.
  • Example Story: The experience of becoming an FBI hostage negotiator told from "I" and "you" perspectives.

• Active Listening and Labels

  • Avoid saying "what I'm hearing is" as it's considered a poor active listening deployment.
  • Use phrases like "it seems," "it sounds," "it looks" to create emotional moments.

Creating Emotional Moments

• Understanding and Deployment

  • Recognize and create specific emotional moments with intentional word choice.
  • This skill requires practice and repetition to master.

• Guidelines for Practice

  • Stick to structured labels and practice handwriting them for deeper understanding.
  • Continuous practice will help in instantly making word choices to affect emotions.

• Emotional Moments in Negotiation

  • The goal is to decide how you want the listener to feel and craft your words to achieve that.
  • Practice helps in creating specific emotional impacts efficiently.

Conclusion

• Mastery of word choice and its emotional impact transforms ordinary communication into a strategic tool.
• Understanding these subtle nuances can significantly improve negotiation and interpersonal interactions.