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Surviving and Manipulating the Narcissist

Jun 10, 2024

Surviving and Manipulating the Narcissist

Introduction

  • Lecture divided into two parts:
    • First part: 15 minutes
    • Second part: 2 hours and 15 minutes
  • Purpose:
    • Provide 8 proven ways to manipulate a narcissist
    • Explain why these methods work
    • Deep dive into the narcissist's mind

Major Issues with Currently Available Information

  • Most advice is from narcissist victims, not narcissists
  • Leads to an atmosphere of shared pain but not efficiency
  • Goal of this lecture:
    • Acquire a deep understanding of the narcissist
    • Survive and manipulate them effectively

The Nature of Our Minds and Interaction with Narcissists

  • Bodies: flesh and blood; Minds: dreams
  • Brains process information and ignore senses; we’re in a dream state
  • Learning occurs from trauma/wounds, not mere experience
  • Narcissist exploits wounds and dreams
    • Creates intense intimacy, hard to replace

Eight Techniques to Manipulate a Narcissist

  1. No Contact
    • Walk away from the narcissist, irrespective of relationship
    • Communicate only through third parties if unavoidable
    • Most effective and widely recommended technique
  2. Grey Rock
    • Provide minimal, boring responses
    • Make yourself uninteresting
    • Effective within months
  3. Deflection/Decoy
    • Find a common enemy to bond over
    • Become allies against this enemy
  4. Mirroring
    • Imitate the narcissist’s behavior
    • Not for use with psychopathic narcissist
    • Creates escalation and self-awareness in the narcissist
  5. Shared Psychosis/Stockholm Syndrome/Trauma Bonding
    • Exaggerate the narcissist’s grandiosity
    • Create the effect of making the narcissist modest
  6. Provide Calibrated High-Grade Narcissistic Supply
    • Give both positive and negative intense attention
    • Makes narcissist dependent on you
  7. Withholding
    • Withhold supply like communication, sex, exclusivity
    • Forces narcissist to seek your favor
    • Must be combined with providing high-grade supply
  8. Intermittent Reinforcement
    • Combine short bursts of supply with periods of withholding
    • Keeps the narcissist constantly trying to win you over

Consequence of These Techniques

  • Utilizing these methods can make you behave like a narcissist or psychopath temporarily
  • Long-term exposure to narcissists can damage trust and empathy
  • Final recommendation: No Contact

Conclusion

  • Only guaranteed way to avoid damage is to walk away
  • Continuation of lecture will provide an in-depth exploration of the narcissist's mind

Full transcript