Breaking news out of Washington where we have just received word that Seal team six has carried out a daring overnight operation successfully killing a student protester. White House sources are confirming that 19 year old college sophomore Evan Dixon was indeed executed last night by an elite team of special forces after his location was revealed to be deep within the walls of this University of Pennsylvania dormitory. Senior political analyst Jason Copeland has been in close personal contact with the white House and joins us now with the latest. Thanks, Dwight. Yeah. We're standing by. As moments from now, President Trump is expected to address the nation and confirm the success of Operation Sitting Eagle. It was late last night that President Trump reportedly authorized the raid, which sent 25 highly trained military personnel into Eupen airspace. commanding them to, quote, show no mercy. President Trump, of course, has said several times he would make it his personal mission to find and kill Dixon after he claimed responsibility for a student led sit in last semester. Jason, what do we know so far about the actual details of the raid? Yeah. It's, it was a high risk operation that was almost over before it started. We're hearing reports, that one of the two Black Hawk helicopters used in this mission actually suffered mechanical failure upon campus entry and, crashed into Quaker Kitchen Dining Hall, where soldiers did encounter some resistance from several freshmen and at least 119 year old IRA. Right. From there, the remaining seal team members stormed the quad before breaching Stouffer College house, where inside, their thermal cameras picked up a shirtless, groggy Dixon surrounded by dirty laundry, textbooks. And it was then that President Trump himself made that difficult, harrowing call to open fire, subsequently taking out the dangerous English major in his clandestine dormitory bunker. As you can see, hundreds of Americans are now gathering around the country to celebrate and to thank President Trump for finally putting an end to this national nightmare. Jason, what happens to this group of student protesters now? Well only time will tell, Dwight. But, despite today's successful operation, the university system in the region still remains extremely unstable. Still, believed to harbor some enclaves of free speech. So I wouldn't rule out a full scale ground invasion of all college campuses in the near future. All right. Thank you. Jason. With many questions yet to be answered, Owen can confirm that President Trump has explicitly ordered the body of Evan Dixon to be dumped in the Delaware River, so no grave could serve as a site of pilgrimage for other politically engaged citizens. Coming up next, more on the latest executive order that has many asking. should trans people be allowed to watch women's sports? You've seen the news now. Touch it with your fingers. To receive your monthly print edition of The Onion, head to membership.theonion.com Today with America's finest news source. The more you pay, the better the news.